The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 107 - General Order No. 11

Episode Date: August 19, 2015

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds discuss Ulysses Grant's General Order No. 11 SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

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Threndlz who has no idea what the topic is about or what's happening right now. How are you? Who are you being? Hi. What is... Why? This is gonna be fun. I'm not excited to do this. Do you want to look who to do? I'll do one buck. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gara. Stay okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is not gonna come to tickling podcasts. Okay. You are queen fakie of Hade uptown. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle. And do what? Pray. Hi, Gaby. No. Is he done, my friend? No. April 27th, 1822. Okay. That was a good one. You got me. I forgot about that part.

Oh, girl. Don't even. Ulysses Grant was born in Point Pleasant, Ohio to Jesse Root Grant. Sure. A Tanner and Hannah Grant. All of the Australians are now laughing that there's a man whose middle name is Root. Because that means fuck. Rooted. Well, I hope that... Rooted her, which means you put your root in her, which is really a horrible thing to say. Yeah, there's some... Also, when the Jersey Shore had smush, there's a couple that I'm just like, these are... I'm uncomfortable by these. Yeah, smush is not... Let's not root ladies. Yeah. I'm not high class, but come on. But do ladies in Australia say I got totally rooted last night? Yeah. No, I think that

when it becomes a thing, people will just say it. You know, like, banged. Like, we all say banged. Well, it's almost two. Two is that not what we're saying? I don't know. This has been tough. Like all big important men back then, Grant's ancestors arrived in 1630. His grand-sisters. Grand-sisters? Did I say grand-sisters? No, but I'm punching it up. His grand-sisters arrived at Massachusetts Bay Colony. His father was an abolitionist and young Grant, regularly attended school. When he was 17, a congressman nominated him to the United States Military Academy at West Point. Okay. Oh boy. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard coming from a rich, popular, well-known

family. Yeah. It's tough to get a break. Yeah. I'm just nervous about egg nog tie-ins. Grant developed a reputation as an expert horseman setting an equestrian high-jump record that stood for almost 25 years. Okay. He graduated in 1843 ranking. Sorry, graduated. I'm punching up again. Ranking 21st in a class of 39. That's under the mid, under the mid. Yeah. Not very good. Hey, good on a horse. Everything else? It's not bad. Come on. So even though he's great on a horse, he was not assigned to the Calvary, but to the 4th Infantry Regiment. He was made regimental quartermaster managing supplies and equipment with the rank of

brevet second lieutenant. Okay. He was just waiting for his four years to be up so he could leave the military. Then the Mexican-American War broke out. Oh boy. So he wanted out. Yeah, he wanted out. He didn't want to be. He was like, this is stupid. Interesting. People telling me what to do. People that remember that part, huh? I want to ride horses. Father Mayor, go play with Black Beauty. So Mexican-American War in 1846 and he went down there to fight and he kicked ass. His heroic actions led to promotions. Grant then stayed on after his four years were up and moved from post to post. He was promoted to captain in 1853. And then

reports came that he was getting plowed. You mean not rooted? Not rooted. Plowed. No. He wasn't getting fucked by how much you do. Shit-faced? No, he's getting fucked by how much you do. Ulysses! No, he was getting shit-faced all the time. He enjoyed his booze. So he's just getting... So the report comes that he's just drinking a ton. Yeah, yeah, he's drinking crazy. Instead of a court marshal though, he was allowed to resign. Rumors of heavy drinking continued after he retired. He worked as a tanner and a farmer but was always broke. Sorry, what's a tanner? I think you're tanning leather, right? Okay. Or...

I wasn't sure. I thought you were just oiling guys on the beach. There you go. Let me know what you guys need to roll over. Sir, I have a very special oil here from Greece. Would you like me to rub that on you? No plowing, gentlemen. No plowing. My name's Grant. I shall not be plowed. You will not plow me. On April 12th, 1861, the Civil War broke out. Okay. Abraham Lincoln asked for 70,000 volunteers. This is quite the ask. Because of Grant's experience, he was asked to join the cause which he did. He raised and commanded a volunteer army but wanted a field command in the regular army. Okay. The gentlemen charge wouldn't allow it because of

Grant's history of drinking. Yeah, he had a rep. I mean, you know, you know your booze when the army's like, listen, we can't. We want you but no. You have experience. Oh God. Do you remember when you put on the lambskin and ran down? Do you remember that Grand? Fourth Avenue? You don't, do you? No, I don't remember anything. Of course not. Finally, a congressman stepped in and had Grant promoted to colonel in the regular army in June. How does that? So the army's like, no, no, no, and then a congressman's like, fuck you. This kid is from a well-known family. Get him in there. And it's all, it's all, is it all just because of

connections? Yeah, it's based on merit at all. No, it's just connections. So he's he was, he was very good in the in the Mexican America. Ulysses W. Grant. That's what I'm talking about. So in August he was given command of his own troops. His exceptional victories over the next few few months caused Lincoln to promote Grant to Major General. The press was treating him as a hero. Okay. During the Civil War, during the Civil War, the trade of cotton continued between the north and south. They needed cotton to make clothes and blankets and everything else in New York and down south they had to sell cotton to someone.

And the US government allowed the trade to go on even though everyone was trying to kill each other. How does that work? Because they needed, the north needed it and the south needed to sell it. Like it was just one of those things they couldn't stop or else. So it was just kind of this. I mean the north needed to make uniforms. Okay. And the south was like we got a bunch of cotton. So they let it keep going. It's just kind of like when roommates like put a line of tape down the middle and then but then they'll still like hand each other chips. Can I have your milk? Yeah, fine. But you're not using the bathroom. Can't use the bathroom.

Fine. You can't watch the TV. In what, in what world that's not a sitcom are they putting tape down the middle of the room? Yeah. No, there's no, there's never. And by the way, that's something that like happened. Like one guy wrote that and everybody's probably like you're a dickhead. Yeah. And then it happened like 15 other times on things. Over and over. So that's how we're gonna share the Airbnb I think. You think so? I would like to do it like that. The government allowed the cotton trade to go on even though everyone was trying to kill each other. One hitch was that traders had to be licensed. Okay. This led to unlicensed

traders getting into the business. Bribery of army officers was rampant. Okay. Some of those unlicensed traders were Jewish. Oh boy. What? Here we go. What do you mean? What do you mean? It's just a small religious fact in the middle of a story. He's about to throw some fucking Juhay makers. Major general. Dropping some Jubams, are you? Ulysses Grant was now responsible for doling out trade licenses in the Department of Tennessee, which he was in charge of. That was an area made up of parts of Kentucky, Tennessee, Illinois, and Mississippi. At the time he was trying to take over the city of Vicksburg, Mississippi, he just wanted to fight the

war and did not want to deal with the cotton trade bullshit. He saw it as a completely corrupt business and thought it ended up corrupting army officers. Okay. Then on November 9th, 1862, he dropped a bit of a bombshell. Oh boy. He sent an order to Major General Stephen Herobert. Quote, Refuse all permits to come south of Jackson for the present. The Israelites especially should be kept out. Hmm. Interesting. What? The Israelites. Yep. Interesting. The next day. He's banning Jews. I mean, yeah. Okay. The next day he sent an order to another general. Quote, Give all give orders to all the conductors on the railroad that no

Jews are to be permitted to travel on the railroad southward of any point. They may go north and be encouraged in it, but they are such an intolerable nuisance that the department must be purged of them. It's almost like when a celebrity gets drunk and tweets. No, Chevy Chase. Yeah. Don't say it. Yeah. My point was black people are more athletic. Oh God. No, here he goes. No, Chevy. No. No, no, no. All right. Totally hammered on another farm. No chews. Ulysses, please. No more. No more gin giblets. Give me the bottle. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no. Ulysses, sit down. Good God. Okay. So then he tightened restrictions on other illegal

cotton trade. On December 8th, 1862, he issued general order number two. Quote. Oh boy. This, I mean, this has, this has Jewishms written all over it. Cotton speculators, Jews. Oh God. He's just straight at it. He's just straight at it. He's getting gaining confidence. He's like getting brasher and brasher. Jews and other vagrants having not honest means of support. So, so he's just tossing Jews in with vagrants and saying they can't support themselves. Isn't that just like vagrants is good enough? No, vagrants is fine. So what? Jews and vagrants. All two of the terrible sex of our population. The Jews and the vagrants. Okay, so not

having an honest means of support except trading upon the miseries of their country. So the only way in his mind that Jews are making money is by trading on the miseries of the country. Yep. Yeah. We'll leave in 24 hours or they will be sent to duty in the trenches. Jesus. So he's just. So this is a dude running a Kentucky, parts of Mississippi, Tennessee, Illinois, and he's saying, he's saying much like Hitler. Yep. That if you don't skadoodle, we're gonna make you fight. Kentucky Concentration Camp. Yeah. KKK. Then a few days later, he backed it up with General Order Number 11. Oh boy. Which just hammered down on the same

thing. Quote. Jews, Jews, Jews. Fuck them everywhere. Jews, Jews, Jews. The Jews as a class violating every regulation of trade established. It is getting very bold now. He is not. Nobody's told him no. No. Nobody has said anything to him. Nobody said anything yet. Nobody's like, I think that this is a little strong. You know, just feel, maybe just think it. Just, just think it. Yeah. You're kind of going broad strokes. Just think it. You've never met Steinberg. It's one guy. It's one guy. Step on my foot. Just Jews stepped on my foot with his big Jew hoof. Okay. So the Jews as a class violating every regulation of trade established by the

Treasury Department and also department orders are hereby expelled from the department within 24 hours from the receipt of this order. Number 11 blamed Jews for all the smuggling of cotton in the Department of Tennessee. Just straight up. No one else is doing it. Yeah. No. No. So he ordered all the Jews expelled and said that anyone, anyone returning will be arrested and held in confinement until an opportunity occurs of sending them out as prisoners. I mean, it really is a concentration camp. It's straight up what he's talking about. Right? Yeah. I mean, it's like a concentration camp unless leave or go to a concentration campus.

His I guess Hitler didn't give the out as easily. He also said no passes will be given these people to visit headquarters for the purpose of making personable application for trade permits. So he also won't give them trade permits. They're just out. They're just fucked. They're just immediately army officer to win me over a little bit. He's making some point. Now he's making a little more sense. Immediately army officers ordered Jewish traders and their families in Holly Springs, Oxford, Mississippi and Paducah, Kentucky to leave. But only a few Jews were actually affected because within hours

Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forest. You remember that name? No. He started the KKK. Oh yeah. Yeah. That guy. Hey, Nathan. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Nathan. I know you're we're fighting, but you should hear what I did to the Jews. I like what I'm stuff in common. I like what I'm hearing on the Jews stuff. I like the Jew angle here. Don't like what I'm hearing on the black thing though. Black thing. You sound a little Jewish to me. Honestly, you have the opinion of a Jew on the blacks. All right. So Nathan Bedford Forest raided and destroyed all rail and telegraph lines around Grant's headquarters. This meant that channel

order number 11 spread around the Department of Tennessee slowly. Okay. But 11 days later. Oh, boy. The Jews were kicked out of Paducah, Kentucky. Jesus. I'm just round up. Yeah. America's a good place. One of the men thrown out was Caesar Caskel. He went straight to Washington to protest Jewish name. What was happening? Caesar Caskel. What? I don't know. Yeah. He met with Cincinnati's Republican Congressman, John Addison Gurley, who got him into the White House to speak to Lincoln. This is the total written bullshit account of what happened. Okay. And so Lincoln said, The children of Israel were driven from the

happy land of Canaan. Yes, Caskel responded. And that is why we have come unto Father Abraham's bosom asking protection. And this protection, Lincoln declared, they shall have it once. So that's a total fucking lie. But that's what we remember. You remember that. Complete horses. No, come on. Lincoln, that sounds Lincoln-y. That's a little Lincoln-ish. Come on. All right. Well, then you have protection from the Jews. Oh, so Lincoln did listen. He was not pleased with the Jewish people being kicked out of their homes. He then instructed the general-in-chief of the army, Henry Halleck, to revoke general

orders number 11. Okay. Within a couple of days, Grant was in a bit of a panic. Time for the bottle. He sent out urgent telegrams, acknowledging he committed, he sent the command to revoke. By direction of the general-in-chief of the army at Washington, the general order from these headquarters expelling Jews from this department is hereby revoked. You can't put the genie back in the bottle. I take back the Jew out thing. You can't put the genie back in the bottle. Yeah, but he Jews back in. No, you can't. How do you? Anyway, my bad. Listen, Israelites, I'm going back to calling you that. Listen, I went a little over the

top. I had been drinking. And I do not think a lot of the things that I said, okay? I don't at all. So, yeah, I love Jews. I like them. I love Jews. The little beanies. This was just one guy, Steinberg. I love their sideburns. I'm a big Jew supporter. Huge. All that stuff. I want to be called Julius S. Grant. I'm checking in a rehab. All right. This has been sponsored by Pills. It was now. He'd be like, I gotta go to rehab. I said some things. He would be fine. If it was now, he could say all that for 11 days and be fine. His Bravo show would be back on in no time.

Probably. Grant was told by a staff officer that the problem with number 11 was the broad language. Had the word peddler been suited after Jew, I do not suppose any exception would have been taken to the order. It's the order, said one of the officials. It's the order. It's the order of those words. It's not the... That was the general-in-chief of the army's... Medical opinion. Official. Yeah. Smart. So, they put Jew peddler instead of... That's not offensive. Peddler Jew. Not offensive at all. No. Lincoln apparently had no objection to his expelling traitors and Jew peddlers, which I

suppose was the object of your order, but as in terms of prescribing an entire religious class, some of whom are fighting in our ranks, the president deemed it necessary to revoke it. So, there you go. You went too big. You went too big. Lincoln then had a second meeting with Jewish leaders led by Rabbi Isaac Wise of Cincinnati. Lincoln told them he... And you're gonna... If your name is Rabbi Wise, you just doors open. Yeah, for sure. Because you're just rolling with that pain. But then he's just a total idiot. Yeah. So, we was thinking that... Hold on. Wait, I had some notes written down here. I had some thoughts.

Okay, I got it. This just says I got to get pants and milk. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. It's around here somewhere. You're terrible. Lincoln told them he knew of no distinction between Jew and Gentile. To condemn a class is, to say the least, to wrong the good with the bad. I do not like to hear a class or a nationality condemned on account of a few sinners. So, the Jews situation faded and Grant concerned himself with winning battles. Within a year, he was victorious at Vicksburg and became a national hero. See? Yeah, he made another hit. But that did not mean General Order Number 11 just faded away like nothing happened. Are people still holding on to

that old thing? Well, the Jews are acting weird about it. I don't know why. Well, I'll tell you, that's why we got to get them out of here. Too sensitive. Jews became fearful that they might now replace blacks as the hated minority in the country. Some Jewish leaders stated publicly that they worried freedom for slaves would mean trouble for Jews. It's an interesting campaign. We're here with freedom of slave, freed slaves problems for Jews. Let's talk about it. We really need you guys to donate. Let's round table this. Grant ran for president as the Republican candidate in the election of 1868. The Democrats brought up Order Number 11 and Rabbi Wise told fellow Jews to vote against Grant because he was an anti-Semite.

Grant tried to distance himself from the order saying a lower officer had written it and then he signed it without reading it. Guys! Because he was busy with the war. It's like deflate gate. You know how I issued Order Number 2. This is about the Jews and Order Number 11 and before that I sent a couple of letters. I fired the idiot who wrote it guys. Was not me. I signed it. I look, I just did a quick skim. Here's what happens. I saw Jews. I saw, you know, another couple other words and I signed it guys. Yeah, what's the deal? Why are you guys getting up my ass? Why are you being such Jews about this? Oh, I mean, no, no, no.

In a good, in a good, let me finish. Why are you being such Jews about this as far as really getting to the core of what it means as you have done as a people for so long and fought over goddamn pennies. I'm out of here! It's just hammered. Oh, he's got to be hammered. So there was a huge debate between Jews in America who saw him as a modern day Haman, the enemy of the Jews from the book of Esther. And then there were those who saw him as a national hero for what he did during the war. So for the first time in the history of the country, the Jewish people were at the center of a political fight. In the end they had to decide if they

should vote for a man who was good for the country even though they thought he was bad for Jews. Wow. And in the election Grant won the majority of the Jewish vote and the election. How about that? That's crazy. After the war, the National War Forum Association, especially during the 1870s, sought to declare the nation's allegiance to Jesus Christ. Wow. Well, we've done that since then. That has not stopped. There was a religious amendment proposed repeatedly during Grant's presidency because they believed that the Civil War was punishment for, quote, the absence of any adequate recognition of God in the

nation's founding documents. They wanted to write Christianity directly into the Constitution itself. We still do. Still do. And we have. We already have. It's in there. General orders number 11 caused the Reconstruction Debate to shift from being just about black people to also discussing the Jewish people. At the time they met up less than 1% of the population, but were by far the most significant non-Christian immigrant group in the country. They were getting quickly for about 15,000 in 1840 to about 150,000 at the beginning of the Civil War. With his appointments and policies, Grant rejected calls for a Christian nation

and helped to give Jews a place in America. Jews achieved heightened status on the national scene because of Grant. He included both blacks and Jews. Wait a minute. Yeah. So wait. So he got guilted in giving Jews. He either either learned the wrong of his ways. No, not that. That never happens. Or he was just a cynical politician. It's this one who saw this as a voting block that could help him. So he included both blacks and Jews as being among groups whom, quote, those in authority should go out of their way to protect. And he sought to create new opportunities for members of both groups. In 1874, Grant attended a dedication of a

new synagogue in Washington with all the members of his cabinet. This was the first time an American president attended a synagogue service. His actions while in office caused anti-Jewish president prejudice to decline. Huh? So he in the end became a pro-Jew after trying to put them in concentration camps. After trying to put the Jews in concentration camps, he gave them a footing in our culture. But that only lasted for so long. Sorry. When Grant left office. Wait, I thought we just ended. When Grant left office, the old anti-Semite America returned. He was? After he left office, it came back. In

1877, the year Grant left the White House, his friend, banker Joseph Siegelman, was not allowed into the Grand Union Hotel because he was an Israelite. Across the U.S. anti-Semitic restrictions led to a large decline in Jews' social status. The golden age of Grant's years became a distant memory. And by 1897, Professor Richard Gothiel of Columbia University said, gradually but surely, we are being forced back into a physical and moral ghetto. Our social lines run as far apart as those of our neighbors, as they did in the worst ways of our European degradation. General Order Number 11 followed Grant, continually resurfacing

during his life. He really wanted to prove that he wasn't prejudiced and he appointed more Jews to public office than any previous president. In the name of human rights, extended unprecedented support to persecuted Jews in Russia and Romania. Over and over, Grant worked to assist Jews and secure them equality. He's all over the goddamn map. But the order dogged him until his death. His wife, Julia, called it, quote, that obnoxious order. He apologized for the order publicly and repented of it privately. He purposefully did not mention it in any of his memoirs. Why would he? On his death bed. On his death bed, he took pride in the fact

that Jews were among those who visited him. Wow. So he's dying and he's like, you guys, look at all these Jews coming in here. You see this, Martha? This guy's a Jew right here. I'm dying and here he is. Look at this. Look at that member. I want to put him in camps. I tried to put this guy in a camp. And here he is. And here he is bringing me some flowers. Well, I want to turn around. Hey, how about that? Oh, man, how about that? Jesus. After he died, Rabbi Wise said that Grant had often repented his order and that the wise also fail. When he was alive, Grant was as popular as Washington and Lincoln. But then the 20th century rolled around. And with it came the pushback from Southern historians. We're going to do a doll about Southern historians today because those motherfuckers. His reputation came under assault. While Southerners attacked him for the way he waged war and the way he forged peace, they blamed him for the Civil War's high death rate, for the failures of reconstruction, for the corruption of his underlings and for his personal failings. They labeled him as a butcher and a drunk. He then was ranked close to the worst all time presidents. But recently, Grant has been reevaluated. Historian Sean Wulence wrote in The New York Times, though much of the public and even some historians haven't yet heard the news, the vindication of Grant is well underway. I expect that before too long, Grant will be returned to the standing he deserves not only as a military savior of the Union, but as one of the great presidents of his era and possibly one of the greatest in American history. So they just fudge the history. Yeah. All right, well, we'll save that for the. But the told Jewish thing is true. He did. Yeah, he tried to expel them and put them in camps, which is a camp. I mean, America hang around dick ditches bring your immigrants and your downtrodden except the Jew. We loved it. We should, you know, I would be pro like a moron genocide. Yeah, well, that wouldn't be like one of those would be great. Just wipe out the idiot. It's just that we always have to go on like

appearance. If we could just like, you know, I mean, there's too many miles to feed already. Time to thin the fucking hurt a little bit. So you are are calling for genocide have come on some kind but just for morons. I mean, I'm so you know, the fucking mouth, you know, we can like we can we can definitely eliminate. We can definitely a little cut some of the fucking fat. It's a weird argument to be making America. Listen, you're telling me that you're happy with the how the research. I mean, we're running out of shit. Yeah. So you're an eugenics. I'm listening. I'm just saying, if you want to if you want to get me on board for a genocide long shot already, long shot already, Dave. Well, what about long shot already? What about having an IQ test and then you sterilize people under a certain IQ? Yes. But but American history cannot be one of the things on the test. Otherwise, I'm going to get killed. I mean, this was a story of a man's redemption. And then your last comments have just gone so off the wrist. Why don't we just cut it? Let's just cut it right after the last line. So off the rest. You know, I mean, obviously, I got into my genocide stuff. You know, that happened. You know what I mean? Anyhow. Anyway, Facebook me if you want to be part of what I'm calling the movement. Good night.