The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 108 - Douglas Mawson (Live in Australia)

Episode Date: August 23, 2015

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - with special guest Justin Hamilton examine Antarctic explorer Douglas Mawson live from Mebourne, Australia SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Dullup podcast live at the Comic Slounge.

Now please welcome to the stage Dave and Gareth. All right. Yeah. Yeah. No clapping from you guys yeah get on the fuck going. Hi. Hello. David. No Dave. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. It's embarrassing. Don't guys you're hurting. You're not helping. The bowing like a fucking king. I don't know if anybody was here last night but these mics without cords really came in handy. Who's who thought I was gonna get punched? Yeah me too. I might have gotten right up in a heckler's face. I might have walked over to him and screamed at him from an inch away. Not a lot of people heckle hecklers. Not enough people doing that. Well thanks for

coming out everybody. Yeah you guys are awesome. Sunday at two and I'll let you guys just go to church and I think it's great that you came by right after. No that's good. The big day. What better way to cap it. Right. Yeah. There's no better way to cap a little couple hours of Jesus. We've always said that. I mean I've said that for years. Yeah. Yep. Before we started doing the podcast. Which people were like what? I was like I don't know. I didn't. You dressed up. I did not notice the pants. I changed my pants. You changed your pants. You got a little button on your shirt. That's pretty rare. A little button on my shirt. You know Dave when you

have a bar set that low it's easy for me to jump over it. A shirt with a button. Look at Hobo Gary. Button in his shirt. Unreal. So I'll put up this podcast tonight because a couple announcements. So we just this isn't for you guys don't give a shit. This is for the people listening. We just added a stand-up show in Perth at 10 p.m. on Friday at the Civic. So those of you who are listening at home in Perth. This is for you. This is not for the audience in front of me. Also we are looking into the possibility of doing a stand-up show in Adelaide. Celebrate. On Wednesday I think that would probably also be at 10 p.m. I apologize. So you

guys those of you in those two cities watch the Facebook page and watch the Twitter feed. Great. And maybe your Instagram. Sure. I'll post a picture of my tweet because people always love those. So big favorite. People like I don't give a shit. I love reading words. Is there anything else you want to tell anybody? Anything before we get into this? No. Bring up our guest. Love it here. It's great to be here. It's great to be here. I really appreciate it. Super good. Gary had a great vegetarian burger. He's very excited about that. It's Gareth and please let's just let's get started. How

we don't need to get into this. Ladies and gentlemen. I would like to bring out your guest. He's a local hero. Hamo. Ladies and gentlemen. Justin Hamilton. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for giving me an excuse for drinking in the afternoon. Yep. Yep. I appreciate that a lot. How long ago did you get the nickname Hamo? Was that a you know what? It's only in the last few years. Oh during comedy you got it. Yeah. I think it came off the back of Limo. All right. Who's a good friend of mine and then he just started going Hamo and then everyone just started saying Hamo and now

I answer to it. So yeah that's how it works. Yeah. Have you met Gary? It's a matter of fucking time. I'm sitting here going like this is a little too much nickname talk for a while. You can sense it. South and one second for sure. What's Lawrence what's Lawrence Mooney's nickname? The Moon Man. The Moon Man. Yeah. Or hey you get away from that young person. That's not an official one but he called me today he called me a cynical fuck on on Twitter and I was like Jesus coming from him. Right. You know that's his way of flirting. Yeah. May 5th, 1882. 1882. 1882. Big fans out there. Yeah. Yeah. Hot year. Once you guys hear the name you're all

gonna go sir Douglas Mawson. You know what it is now? Yeah. We used to go to school together. Was born in Shipley Yorkshire England. Why are there two names? Why would you have two names in a city? It's in England. Yeah. I don't know. We're rich with names. Keep moving. He was the second son of Robert and Ellis Mawson. A cloth merchant and his wife Margaret Ann. The family moved to Rooty Hill near Sydney in 1884. Rooty Hill. Rooty Hill. Yeah. I mean I don't know much slang here but that's but that's Fuck Mountain. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. More like Cuttle Hill when you get there. Douglas went to Fort Street Model School in

Sydney. What? Fort Street Model School? That's what it says. That's got to be a misprint. Yeah. I guess he wanted to be a model. Are you learning about the dollop on the dollop? Some of these things get by me. At the University of Sydney he studied mining engineering and graduated 1902. He was then appointed as a junior demonstrator in chemistry. I have no idea what that is. A junior demonstrator. A junior demonstrator. Like did he walk around with placards saying down with chemistry? What does he mean by that? Elements. Elements. Elements. What do we want?

The periodic table. When we want to ask something. I never did science. That's beyond what I had. Yeah. He took a six months six month leave to make a geological survey under the new Hebertas. Under what? I should have read this. I grabbed this one. I mean a lot of times I will I'll read them ahead of time but this one I had I had to go out to the airport because I left my toiletries on the airplane so it cut into my prep time. What was in your toiletries that you had to go back and get them? Oh I have eight so I have all right. Oh yes sorry. My whole camp pack. But what I meant was what else do you have? This is a weird way to

find out that. Oh have I not said that? I mean we've been talking just a lot of small talk. Bring out the big guns every once in a while daddy. Obviously that chat about true detective season 2 was wrong at the back. Yeah sorry. It's okay. Oh new new Hebertas. Which was the colonial name for the island group in the South Pacific Ocean that is now the nation of fuck me. That's a weird nation. Yeah. Va vonatou. Va natou. Va natou. Fuck you and your Pacific Island. Oh we knew all the names of the Pacific Islands. Nobody gives a shit. You know what matters, America. Dabe, Dabe, Dabe. Nothing outside of it. Dave. Dave Dave Dave.

Dave Dave. Sit the fuck out. It started. It started. By the way, in your defense They did sound exhausted with you when they said that then I want to This was Mawson's introduction to scientific exploration It was in rugged country in thick jungle with hostile natives his report quote the geology of the new Hebrides Was one of the first major works of the geology of fucking Melanesia Melano, did I do that right? Fuck yeah. Yeah, I mean you really how sad is it that when I pronounce something correctly? I get an applause

Because you think you did it wrong and you just screamed at them about America Well, that's you're like bipolar with the names you're all or nothing Another one's common I can see it There's another one in the next sentence He then went back and studied geology, even though he had already published a paper on geology of Mitigong, New South Wales Fucking just nail it just nailing shit. All right two for four. He did that Are we not including yesterday?

two for 12 He long he did he did another Report on radioactive minerals in Australia with Thomas Levy This was besides the several ones he had done on the new Hebrides So he's got a bunch of reports on geology and then he's like I should study this Sort of sounds like this dollop In 1905 a mosson was appointed lecturer in mineralogy and petrology In at the University of Adelaide hmm my hometown

Was that like a siren going there's a nuclear meltdown, but I'm gonna stick around. We're gonna have some fun Yeah, we're gonna have fun. Yeah, we'll do the story quickly. Yeah, and then everyone duck and roll That's a great technique Hamo teach in the duck and roll It's also my sex move Unrood hill yeah Cuddle hill It was in 1905 that he became interested in glacial geology of South Australia in November 1907

Sir Ernest Shackleton leader of the British Antarctic expedition visited Adelaide on his way south Mosson asked if he could join the expedition. What was the name of that guy sir Ernest? What sorry Shackleton, right? That's cool. That's not a hard one. No, no, no, no, I was just like, you know, like I just hanging out with a guy called Ernest Shackleton like he sounds like a Shacko Shacko Shacko Shacko. Hey Shacky shacky shacky Cunt What I don't know no one called Shacky that just cuz he took the last biscuit Fucking Shacky classic Shacky classic Shacky I

Moss had wanted to see an existing continental ice cap and to become acquainted with Glaciation Shackleton consulted with Mosson's main influence professor Tannett Edgewood Edgeworth David That's it. That's a backwards name. What is it? What is it? Tannett? Edgeworth David. Yeah, he accidentally wrote his name like he wrote it in a mirror like yeah Yeah, we should be David all the rest of it What is it again? Tannett Tannett? Edgeworth David. Jesus Christ. It's fucked up. Yeah, lose it David Tannett. You got a winner. Like if you're hanging out with Shacky like you can be edgy

Classic edgy David was also going on the journey and then telegraphed Mosson quote you are appointed physicist for the duration of the expedition And he was off to Antarctica for the first time the journey in the ship over was pretty Unpleasant, of course. They're never good. No. Yeah. Yeah, they were on the ship the Nimrod, which was overcrowded The Nimrod? Yep, the Nimrod. All right. Keep going. And I am R.O.D. I'm not fucking that up Nimrod. Nope. It's actually Nime Rude Hate to be a stick in the mud about this The shore party was crammed into the aft hold along with luggage. Okay. What? All right, so

Did you just get a lisp? What? Crammed into the what? The aft hold of the boat The aft hole boats have asshole. After after hole. Yeah, I'm not asked not after hole. Yeah What is it the guys are crammed into an asshole, right? Well, no wonder it was an unpleasant trip. Got it. Okay, okay Well, there'd be no view. That is how you stow away, huh? Right? Officer? Yeah. Tickets? They were packed in there with the luggage and the scientific instruments

They had to enter the unvented elated room by a ladder through a hole two feet wide. So they were in the asshole. Yeah They called it oyster alley. I'm good. I mean, yeah, I'll let that one go, too Geologist Raymond Priestly said it was quote a place that under ordinary circumstances I wouldn't put 10 dogs in much less 15 of the shore party. It is more like my idea of hell than anything I have ever imagined Mawson agreed calling it an awful hole Mawson also spent much of the voyage with sea sickness which led the chief surgeon to label Mawson quote a total waste of space Yeah, I feel that a way about most aft holes

And surgeon sounds like a good dude That's who you want on board quote Mawson is useless and objectionable lacking in guts and manners He lay in a sleeping bag vomiting when he rolled to starboard He's just having a good trip. It's just in a sleeping bag barfing. Yeah Fun. Oh, well, you're gonna enjoy this doll up Upon arriving they built a hut and then spent a great deal of time waiting for winter to end so they could begin their expedition Over the long wait and cramped quarters quarters tempers frayed on one occasion The cook William Roberts put his foot on a Scotsman's locker to lace up his boot

The Scotsman did not take kindly to that and grab the cook by the throat to stop the fight Mawson calmly walked over to the Scotsman and quote choked him off Excuse me What kind of bloody punishment is this? Christ use the locker whenever So this is just kind of like a reality show right right they just put ten strangers in an asshole and see what happens. Yeah On CBS the asshole So good times are being had obviously but they finally set out for exploration and it was a great success for Mawson

David Mawson and McKay were the first to climb the summit of a mount Oh Erebus Yep, thanks. Yep one person clapping. That's so yeah, it's like that's it's easy to make a whole group of people clap But when you pick out one person, that's like a ninja, right? That person's from Antarctica. Oh, right. Sorry Things became a bit perilous on the return David aged 50 had the worst of it and he asked Mawson to take over as leader They were exhausted and short on food as they made their way. It was agreed upon to the rendezvous location with the Nimrod But bad weather delayed them and when they finally arrived the Nimrod could not see their camp because of heavy drifting snow

Two days later as they sat in their tent discussing what to do They heard a loud boom. It was a rocket distress signal that had come from the Nimrod which had returned They rushed from the tent and ran toward the coast David said quote at the site of the three of us running frantically a Hardy cheer burst forth from all on board then Mawson suddenly dropped down into a crevice Wait, well that's that's that's that's what happens when you do a premature cheer. Yeah. Yeah get there first That's like when a dude celebrates going through like the tape on a race first another guy's like I'm fucking running Boom I've got to be honest, I fucking love that. It's the best on push-pikes

Fucking amazing good to celebrate coming second So he falls into the crevice David and mckay dashed over to find Mawson only eight feet down lying flat only eight feet down Only 18 feet down star only 18 feet down better. Do we have a 28? Yeah, 20 20 feet 20 He is lying flat on his back on a very thin ledge. They dropped a harness down to Mawson, but we're so weak from the journey They couldn't pull him up Now the Nimrod was at the coast mckay raced over yelling Mawson has fallen down a crevice and we got to the magnetic pole There's lots of updates. Yeah

They got good news and bad news What do you want first? Mawson's gone. Oh, that's a good news. I forgot No, they found the magnetic bullshit Men from the ship came got down into the crevice with a piece of wood Lowered a man down then he tied the rope around Mawson and he was hauled to safety from awesome The trip was very worthwhile. He published accounts of his observations on the aurora and geomagnetism. You guys have all read that Yeah, that is a good read. Oh man. It's like one of the best pop-up books

I've ever read. I love it. Yeah, very helpful. Yeah, David said in a public tribute Mawson was the real leader who was the sole over expedition to the magnetic pole. We really have in him an Austrian Nansen Mm-hmm. Yeah, do you guys know who Nansen is? I like everyone knows just wondering if you know yeah He is an infinite resource splendid Physique astonishing indifference to frost wait. Sorry. What the fuck? He is of infinite resource splendid physique astonishing indifference to frost, right? That's his

Okay, Cupid profile as well How can you have an astonishing indifference? He just doesn't give a shit man. Yeah, and it's astonishing. I'm shocked by that. He cares so little Look at him Uninvested don't give a shit about frost. I can't believe it and look at that physique Me now You're gonna get the Mawson calendar Mawson returned Adelaide and the University in 1909 he then began making plans to return to the Antarctic

Captain RF Scott was making his second expedition and Mawson asked him for transport on Scott's ship for himself and three others Mawson explained the possible scientific value that could be added by another party, but Scott was like no He then asked Mawson to be part of his South Pole sledging expedition and Mawson was like no, I don't want to do that Mawson was into scientific exploration not getting there for the sake of getting there So Mawson went to Shackleton and asked for help Shackleton said I will not only help I'll take the fucking thing over So he took over Mawson's plan as his own but could not raise the needed cash Mawson being a great guy waited until Scott had raised all the funds. He could in Australia and New Zealand Which didn't amount to enough and left

So Mawson then started his own appeal for support. What was to be the? Australia Australia Asian Antarctic expedition, right? Here we go. Yeah, Australia Asian Australia Asian Why? I don't know well why not he knows about well, you know because of the thing You know like because because of it Asian people What are you saying? No, I don't know. No. No. No. Did you what? I love Asian people He He pulled in the equivalent of about

16.7 million in litter more than one year Whoa part of the money came from the Australian and British governments Mawson also tapped businessmen with interest in mining and whaling He traveled to England to raise money and there he dined with Robert Falcon Scott and his wife Kathleen Scott was a hero for his 1901 Antarctic exploration Kathleen from a wealthy family was very helpful in getting him money Part of the coastline Mawson Explorer had been scouted in 1840 by the French explorer Dumont de Evo Beautiful David, but you guys have no idea. I could totally just fucking butchered that. Yeah Did you notice that they didn't yell out then? Yeah, yeah, this is a French guy in the back. Yeah, you're in Australia

We're barely lingual But there's one one French guy listening right now Fucking murders that name Punching across but you're going to go in to tell him on Facebook. Oh, no, it took it down. That's not my comment I put it back up. I put one of seven back up. You guys learned your lesson That's right always be positive Rule with fear He sailed for Antarctica in December 1911 the main purpose of the journey was to map remote areas of the Antarctic

Mawson was just 30 years old already known as one of the best geologists of his generation and an Antarctic veteran He was tall skinny balding and very determined Landing was difficult because most of the coast was high ice cliffs only after many weeks Did the expedition come to Commonwealth Bay and spot a small rocky section of shoreline with a natural harbor? Mawson established his wood-built headquarters here and named the site Cape Denison Cape Dancin Denison Cape Denison Denison, okay, like the chili like the what Denison's chili I'm learning a lot What is so what is he doing? He's just like he's just surveying and hanging and they're all gonna go explore and

Information about the sure ice. Yeah, all right, you know, I just woken up and gun sure That's a mouse. Look at that. That's a mouse. Oh shit more. Let me get my journal. Oh, yeah Write this down. I'd hate to forget it We saw some eyes, right. Okay ice. That was the other thing. Yeah, it was thick on the continent Three bases were established one at Macquarie Island, which was I? Man the best is you were trying to like hold back. Oh, yeah, Macquarie. Sorry. It's Macquarie. Sorry. Sorry fuck off It's Macquarie. Yeah, not a lot of people follow us. Sorry would fuck off. Sorry fuck off. All right. Yeah, apologies over. Yeah Macquarie is a very different place

Macquarie Island which was also to serve as a radio relay station the main base under Mawson at Commonwealth Bay and then there was the Western base on the Shackleton ice shelf from each base That there are expeditions involving major scientific expedition would happen Everything sounds really good. Yeah, and it's very concerning Matter of time until someone gets beaten or eaten like a murderer Crazy shit happens. I'm rep to be a part of a positive story. Yeah. No, it's it's good No, it's gonna take I think actually we're probably about to right around now Maybe a paragraph or so away from no fucked up shit. No

No, I'm feeling it's too good. He builds it up to it. So it just feels good. Let's go. What happens? Who kills who? So Commonwealth Bay was a very remote part of the Antarctic coast wind speeds averaged 50 miles per hour Occasionally they would top 200 miles per hour. Here we go. See bad things are starting bad info is leaking out At times the winds were so strong They knocked the man off their feet and sent them sliding across the ice. Whoa blizzards were going on constantly Lawson split the expedition into four groups one demand base camp and the others would go into the interior to do scientific work He led what was called the Far Eastern Shore Party It would be a three-man team and they would survey glaciers hundreds of miles from base

Maasen was bent on making the deepest pushed into the Antarctic ever. This would be a very high-risk trip. Yep, right? Here we go Here we Maasen's group would have to travel the furthest They would have to have a large load of supplies They would also be crossing an area with a lot of crevices and Each crevice was concealed by snow. Let's say I mean just like leaves over a hole. That's not good But it's all right. He's already fallen down a crevice. So he'll be really careful, right? I'm back home. Yeah, no cheering No fucking cheering, right? The two guys were picked to join Maasen were Lieutenant Belgrave and Ninnis

He was a British Army officer and would be the expedition's dog handler Sit done Ninnis was already famous as an explorer from being a part of Shackleton's 1907 Nimrod expedition Shacky to his friends. Yeah, the shack fucking shacky shackles Maasen and Ninnis had a shack daddy. Sorry the shackmeister. Yeah Shacko You're listening to shacky is 94.4 FM the shack. Yeah, we're at the ice. It's fucking cold

He's foreigner I just wanted to subtly tell people how old I am Maasen and Ninnis had met in London when Maasen went there to raise funds on his trip to Australia They met Xavier Mertz. Mertz became close friends of Ninnis's. He was a 28 year old Swiss lawyer who was apparently very amusing He was Did you just burp? Yeah, that was like, was that you? Yeah, just burp laugh. Yeah, that was a bit Just that just came out of you Yeah, like you open your mouth to like have a laugh and then your body was like, oh, I've got something more pressing

Yeah, you know what the best thing is is that I it happened and then we didn't react and I looked and I saw there was a Bit of hope in your eyes. Yeah, I think I got away with it. Yeah, you were like, come on guys move on guys And she continued holding your hand after that until we started putting out and then she was like, yeah, she's single. Okay. All right That was a way of saying this is over and thank you very much. Let's enjoy this last moment together old burpee Mertz was also a champion cross-country skier and mountaineer So sorry, is that the funny guy who's the Swiss merchant banker? He's there to keep up the spirits and make people laugh Yeah lawyer just in case. Yeah, right?

In case you fall down a crevice and you want to see someone. Oh, we was to the glacier Was that it's Swiss? Yeah, I'm working on it. I I thought you might have had a mild strike for a moment actually that was basically like my burp like I did that and I was like Let's not talk about what just happened. Yeah, she's definitely not gonna hold your hand. Damn it. Things are bad Moss and Ninnis and Mertz took three sledges that were pulled by 16 Huskies with 1,720 pounds of food gear and scientific instruments. Holy shit. They were only a certain amount of personal possessions Ninnis chosen novel by William Makepeace Thackery and Mertz took a collection of Sherlock Holmes short stories Mawson brought a diary and a photograph of his fiancee. She was an upper-class Australian woman named

Franziska Dalprey, but was known as Paquita One of the most Australian names I've ever heard Paquita Paquita Paquita Paquita, yeah, yeah Coming up next some foreigner I don't know the Paquita. Okay. Here's the secret sound. What's that? Is that someone falling down a crevice? You've won nothing That's right. You want two tickets to nowhere on the shack? Shack radio

Next up Shacky Shacky He's killed 16 Huskies Just to keep warm And articles original station Give us a call when a dog What's the like way you are fucking called? Okay, you want nothing Uh, they set out on november 10th 1912 and made good time from Commonwealth Bay They traveled 300 miles by december 13th. It was all going as expected

They would eat and that would reduce their load a little bit the only thing that slowed them down Uh, were two sick dogs. They battled through the blizzards and crossed two large and dangerous glaciers One night on the journey Mawson had a strange dream It was of his father When he left his parents were in good health, but the dream was very unsettling Little did he know his father had just died of a sudden illness We're emotional wow you guys this happened like in the 1900s You guys got really upset about that

We're still breathing It's also just interesting to get a some really bad news through a dream Like now you'd get it via text message. Your dad's dead. Oh fuck. All right. Well, I'll do it I'll watch the rest of the dollop and then I'll go but uh That's amazing I got a head telegram last night I did that and it wasn't good Next one of the huskies turned out to be pregnant

Fuck don't you hate that? Well, no, right? One guy just had to stop dogs from doing that. I know one guy was like don't fuck her Yeah, and she was like, uh, I'm gonna get some Come on get me some husky dick. Whoa. I don't think anyone's comfortable with what's happening No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm all hot and shit. I want a dick in me Jesus Dave This can be isolated and turned into a ringtone relax If you're listening do not do that and if you're listening do that I would download that I would love like

Dave, I want my husky dick Oh cool phone call. Hey Dave. Hold on. Oh, it's a head telegram Oh, so the pregnancy did not go out Because the explorers found her devouring her puppies after they were born. Oh, Jesus. Well, you're right. This story did take a terrible turn I mean And this is just dogs. So that's gonna get bad Well, that's pretty normal for dogs in extreme conditions, but still a total bummer to watch Oh

Is that how they reported it? Oh, just the worst day Oh, man, I thought my dream was bad Dad's dead the dog ate the puppies fucking cold. This is bullshit At least nothing bad can happen you're listening to w arc Sorry, I was coming back to the radio. I got you Uh, so she's eating the puppies then uh when they were far inland a petrol Which is a seabird that is about one meter long and has a wingspan of two meters slammed into ninnis's sledge

Where could it have come from mertz wrote in his notebook that men started to get the feeling this was not going to be a good journey That reminds me when fabio went on the roller coaster and a bird flew into his face Yeah, the people on the back of that were thinking this is not gonna be good. This is gonna be great Okay, you're leaving go but you're not gonna know what's happened when you get back it's gonna be fucked up We can wait, I mean uh They continued on moss and developed a split lip from the cold This caused pain to shoot across the left side of his face Ninnis came down with snow blindness, which is basically like having your eyes sunburned

Oh, there's something no one knew was a fucking possibility. All right All right, the amount of times I've fallen asleep outside with my eyes open and you know, I always slip slap. Am I right? Oh my god, something on the eyes My eyes are so burned. I really just got it today. You know what? I should always put sunscreen on my eyes I forget and then I wake up and I'm like So, uh It you don't notice the condition until several hours after exposure So it's like a sunburn where you're like, oh what happened. It's very painful

Uh, he also developed an abscess on the tip of one of his fingers It grew and more and more painful until he could no longer tolerate it. So no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no Okay, hit me with it mosson lanced it with his pocket knife Just ripping fingers off And with all this going on ninnis nearly fell into hidden crevices three times The crevice game would just be terrifying. Jesus Christ, fucking crevices.

Just walking around, just everywhere you went. You get to cut your own fucking finger off and you're like, I'm afraid to take steps. And the dogs are eating little dogs. The mom's eating her puppies. My dad's dead. My fucking eyeballs are burned. So it's not going well.

They set up camp on December 13th, 1912, in the middle of a glacier. Mosson decided to lose one of their three sledges to make the going easier. He put the rest of the load on the other two sledges. They did not sleep well that night because there were constant booms in the distance and cracking deep below them.

Merch knew what the noises were. Merch knew what the noises were and very much concerned him. The sounds were due to warm air making the glacier ahead unstable. Yeah, I know exactly what that is. I've seen that documentary, Batman Begins. That's where Rajah Ghul trains Bruce Wayne, right?

I can't believe you made a Batman reference. I'd hate to not be the cliche that is me. Do you have Batman pajamas? Don't be like that. Merch wrote, quote, the snow masses must have been collapsing their arches. The sound was like the distant thunder of cannon. When they woke, it was a sunny and warm day,

at least for Antarctica, on the 11 degrees below freezing. Nice day for a swim. Beautiful day. Yeah, just get out, do some stuff. You know what, I'm not going to wear a shirt today, gentlemen. I think I'm like vitamin D deficient, so shirt's off. They packed up and set a decent pace.

At noon, Marsden stopped to figure out their position by looking at the sun. As he finished his calculations, he looked up and saw Merch had stopped his usual singing. Wait, Merch was singing the whole fucking time? Yeah, that's one of the reasons they brought him. He's the fun loving guy. But we didn't know he was just singing the whole time.

God, I wish I had a Swiss accent. He's just... Now we know why the ice was cracking. And the dogs eating are young. You don't need this. You don't need this. My hair's stinging. My hair's stinging.

Next up on W.A.C. Shaggy. Mertz Yodel. Yeah, it didn't go well. I was going to do so much more just then, but I'm not going to. Yeah, I fucked it up. So Mertz had skied ahead and now had one ski pole raised up in the air. This was the signal that he had come across a crevice.

Mawson turned around and warned Ninnis. He saw Ninnis correct his path to cross the crevice head-on rather than diagonally. They moved on. Did they really? Dramatic pause. A few minutes passed and Mawson heard the whine of a dog. Is Mertz singing? Thank God he's got a new song.

The dogs is singing with Mertz. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, she's eating her young. Mertz stopped. He was looking back and had a disturbed look on his face. Mawson turned around. Ninnis, his dogs and his sledge were gone. They disappeared right where Mertz had signaled where there was a crevice. Mawson and Mertz rushed back to where they had last seen Ninnis, staying in their tracks.

It was about a quarter mile back. When they got there, they found a large gorge in the snow about 11 feet across. Mawson got on his stomach and slowly crawled to the edge. He looked down and could see a ledge far below. On it were two dogs. One was dead and the other, in a great amount of pain, writhing because its back was broken. Oh, I'm with them. Yeah.

Beside the dogs, some gear was scattered on the shelf. Below that was just pure darkness and the crevice went deeper and deeper. Mawson yelled Ninnis' name over and over. There was no response. He pulled out a fishing line and dropped it down to see how far the ledge was, 150 feet. Oh, fuck. Right. They put a little shmacko on the end, hoping he'd get the dog.

Pull it up. He's nibbling. He's nibbling down there. I got something. I don't know what it is. I reckon it's 20 footer. It's barbing. Yeah.

Anyway, a man's dead. Yeah. Everyone's upset about the dog though. Yeah. I feel that. I always feel worse for animals than humans. I'm sorry. Well, the dogs didn't sign up.

Like they were just fucking... Yeah, exactly. You were just a fucking husky hanging out. Exactly. In that minute you're in the entire town watching your girlfriend eat your kids like it's fucking tough. Yeah. It's trauma.

Right. Honey. Honey, please don't eat my kids. Fuck. Man. Oh, my God. This is the worst trip ever. I just...

That's it. We're pro-life. Yeah. That asshole keeps yodeling. Oh! So, he yells his name 150 feet down, way too far to climb down, obviously. Merton Mosson then spent about five hours on the edge, calling down a ninnus, hoping he was unconscious and wake up.

You know things are good when you're praying for that situation. Yeah. Please just be unconscious. Yeah. Maybe he's just having a little sleep. You know, he did want to talk to his dad. Yeah. I just got a telegram.

I've died. I just got a telegram in my dream. No response came. They finally gave up and accepted that they had lost their friend. Okay. Yep. I don't even know what that means. What, the sign of the cross?

Yeah. When you do it when people die or what do you do? I don't know. I think it's just like a shout out to God or something. Yeah. You're just like, what's up, man? I think about you. I think you were just pointing where it hurt you and your soul.

It hurts here, it hurts here, it hurts here and it hurts here. Just hurt. They couldn't figure out why they had been able to cross the crevice, but ninnus had plunged into it. Then mosson realized ninnus had been running beside the sledge instead of standing on it. This meant his weight was not spread out and his weight concentrated in just a few inches causing the ice to break and down he went. Mosson blamed himself for not making ninnus wear skis.

They held the burial service and then assessed the situation. Not good. Amen. Because mosson had split the supplies between the two sledges instead of three, he put the sledge with the food and the supplies and the tents in the back with ninnus. He figured if there was a problem, it would be the first sledge that would go down so the stuff they needed to live was on the second sledge. Oops.

Thanks for the bottom lining. They lost their three-man tent, their six best huskies, all the food for the dogs. Hang on. Now they're ranking the huskies? Yeah. That's harsh, isn't it? Right? You turn up, you're in the cold, your girlfriend's eating your puppies and then you find out

you're the seventh best? Like that would be bullshit. Hey. That asshole keeps yodeling. I'm a fucking shit dog and I got to go with the yodeler. Whenever you want it. So they also didn't have food for people. They had ten days' food for a return trip that would take a month.

Okay. So things are terrible and okay. Brackley, all the food had gone, spade, pick, tent, wrote Mawson. All that he had was sleeping bags, food for a week and a half. We consider it a possibility to get through to winter quarters by eating dogs. So nine hours after the accident started back, but terribly handicapped, make God help us. God said, no, I don't think so. They made what they called a mad dash to get to the place where they had camped the night

before. That's where the abandoned sledge was with a pocket knife, Mawson cut it up to make poles and some canvas using the poles and Mertz's skis. They fashioned a tent. Now they had shelter at least so they could survive for the night. It was cramped and flimsy. Maybe one man could move at a time and neither could rise higher than a sitting position. They pondered the return trip, didn't look good.

They had no food depots set up for the way out. They could head for the sea, which would be a longer journey, but there would be seals that they could kill and eat. They also might be seen by a ship and be saved or they could go back exactly the way they came. Mawson decided to head back the way they came. Then they killed the dog. It was the weakest one.

Did they eat it? Yeah. Number right. Numero eight. Should have run better. Hey guys, we're just going to be calling you by numbers from now on. Is that cool? Ironically, they ate eight.

As soon as he got the number, he went, oh, I'm fucked. I'm fucked. I mean, they're hungry. I'm eight. The leftovers, they fed to the other dogs. Wow. That's a super fucking weird call. Wow.

The dogs are like, this is Bob. Eat Bob. What the fuck? What kind of shitty planning did you guys do? Yeah, listen, shut up. Oh, Bob is good. Good Bob. They headed out.

They traveled at a decent pace, but then Mawson got snow blindness. So he can't see? No. Yeah. Then it hurts a lot. Merge uses a solution of zinc sulfate and cocaine to wash his eyes. How did they fucking have coke on the trip? Well, you know, everything's turning to shit.

You might as well have some fun, right? You might as well feel confident about your blindness. That's what I'm saying. Fuck the dogs. We're running there. Yeah. Another bump. One more bump.

Yeah. Let's ride the seals. Let's not fucking eat them. We can do this. Come on. Yeah. We're going to Miami. The hardest thing was finding a toilet to do the cocaine off.

And shout annoying stories at each other via sled. Did I tell you about the one time? I always said you'd be good at sleds. Yeah, I thought I'd be good at sleds. I knew it, man. I found my fucking calling. Let's do this. You know, I think we should do it, man.

I think we should start selling snow. Just take it back there and sell snow. Yeah. We should make a lot of money that way. It's just a great plan. You guys want to sell some snow? Yeah. Yeah.

Let's do this. The cocaine melted. You guys are like my best friends ever. Yeah. I love you guys. I really do. I'm not just saying that. I know.

I fucking love you yodeling. No, no, I love it. Dude, you mean that dude? Fuck, how full on was it when they ate their fucking puppies? That was full on, wasn't it? I'm from Switzerland. Yeah. I imagine that's what cocaine is like.

Yeah. No, I read. Yeah, I don't know. I've seen Ted. I've seen how it works. If my son is listening, I would never do that. Yeah. And if my boy is listening...

Oh, wait, never mind. Yeah. If my boy is listening, I am freaking the fuck out. Why have you never gotten in touch until now? Reach out. Not too much. Just a little bit. Just a touch.

Also the name of your new show, right? That's right. Reach out. Just a touch. So they had to slow down because the one guy's blind. To top things off, they found themselves now in a whiteout. They could see nothing but grayness. Two of the dogs collapsed.

Mawson and Mertz had to tie themselves to the sled to keep going. One by one, they ate the dogs. I didn't say that coming. That's not good for anybody. When George, then Johnson, then Mary could no longer pull, they were loaded on the sledge and carried to that night's camp. Then they were shot. After eating the meat, they threw the bones and skin to the remaining Huskies who fought

each other over every scrap. So it's going well. Yeah. Right. The dogs are not good eating, apparently. Mawson discovered that the best way to cook a dog is to boil it completely. So. You never say that on MasterChef, do you?

Tell him you want to get the ratings up, though, wouldn't you? Your secret ingredient is Husky. Fucking Husky. We're going to make a stew. I just used my cat recipe. That's the same. So they're shot. Oh, yeah.

So they're boiling the dog. They're boiling the dog. So a nice dog soup was made along with a supply of meat. The mussels and gristle were turned into a jelly-like substance with this method. Of course, the paws took the longest to cook. But after a while, they became edible. That's not something you should all know when the apocalypse happens. Right. That is the worst words before something you're about to eat.

Over time, it became edible. They're eating fucking dog jelly. Take a bite more. Not just yet. Put it back in. Probably needs another four or five hours for me to get a little bit more mental before this tastes okay. Not yet. Dog jelly tastes like dog.

Of course, the paws took the... Oh, I did that. And then, even with all this, great dog entrees, both men began to quickly break down. At 1 a.m. on December 25th, Mawson woke Mertz to wish him a merry Christmas. Fucking insane decision. Hey, man, happy holidays. What are you hoping for the future? I got you paw meat, so...

I got you some snow. Yeah, I am a Jewish. Oh, I guess you get a claw for the next eight days. Mawson wrote in his diary, I hope to live to share many merry Christmases with my friend Mawson. He's losing his shit, right? We're going to spend every Christmas together. Now let's eat the dogs.

I'm just filled with the holiday cheer this year. Let's eat, hang up some stuff. I'm having the best time. I love it. Ho, ho, ho, ho. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha... I hope Santa brings us anything. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

What did you wish for? Literally anything. Wanted to eat anything. Time machine would be great. Just feels like someone put coal in my life, you know? Could I have a beer? Yeah, he deserves one after that. Yeah.

Woo, fuck, my stomach hurts. I'll have a dog. Gotta boil it, baby. I told you, don't bake it. You make that mistake once. I like dog sushi, I always have. Oh, God, Jesus Christ. How do you like your douchey?

Hold on. On a little train, it goes around and around. And now only ginger, the toughest of the surviving dogs, could haul. Mossin and Mertz put on their chest and hip harnesses and pulled the sledge alongside her, exhausting themselves after only a few miles. Crossing wind card ridges of hard snow, they repeatedly fell down and often capsized the sledge. To save weight, they threw away gear, their alpine rope, the rifle,

the extra sledge runners, and hardest to do, Mossin's camera and film packs that had the visual record of the trio's journey. It became very clear something was wrong with Mertz. He was rapidly losing strength. On January 2nd, he could manage only five miles the next day before giving up. His fingers were frostbitten, and Mertz shocked Mossin by biting off the tip of one. Whoa. He's still yodeling while he's eating.

That's fucking nuts. You're probably just like, oh, he's going to bite his nail. Thank you. Oh, that's your finger. You overbid your nail, Mertz. It's a terrible habit. I have to stop biting my fingers off. I really got to give that up.

Oh, my God, it's so much better than dog, though. Oh, God. I mean, he just bit off his fucking finger. Yeah, and we're not even near the end. Oh, shit. Mossin knew that their only hope was to keep moving, but on January 5th, Mertz refused. It would be suicide, he said.

On January 5th, 1913, Mossin wrote in his diary that Mertz quote is generally in very bad condition, skin coming off legs, et cetera. No, there's a lot of times to use an et cetera. Give me the fucking details. Don't fucking blah, blah, blah me through what's happening to his leg skin. Yeah, you know, like when you lose leg skin. He's losing his leg skin. You've heard it a million times.

He's biting his fingers off. We're eating dogs. We've all been there. We're dying, yeah. You know, as we call it Thursday, that kind of thing. Yeah, the holidays, right? Crazy. Just crazy.

Wacky time. They climbed into their sleeping bags for 24 hours. That night, Mossin wrote, quote, things are in a most serious state for both of us. If he cannot go eight or 10 miles a day, in a day or two, we are doomed. I could pull through myself with the provisions at hand, but I cannot leave him.

His heart seems to have gone. It is very hard for me to be within 100 miles of the hut, and in such a position is awful. Mossin was also in horrible pain, but he talked merchant to continuing by riding on the sledge. Incredibly, Mossin pulled the load by himself for two and a half miles. In his diary that night, he wrote, if he cannot go eight or 10 miles a day,

in a day or two, we are doomed. I could pull through myself with the provisions at hand, but I cannot leave him. He's a fucking hero, right? Fucking hero, idiot. Yeah, idiot, but still. Idiot. Leave him, eat him, do whatever you gotta do.

We all know you're on camp, eat him, Dave. Yeah. If you'd be eating him early, he'd be like, we still have food. He'd be like, just come on. Come on. We're gonna eat you. You're eating you.

Why can't I eat you? I'm jealous. Yeah, share. Come on. Like, I'm hungry too. Give me some of those human fingers. Yeah. They kept that night,

and the morning Mertz was delirious. As an added bonus. He's just not doing it. Yeah. As an added bonus, he had diarrhea. Aw. Man. I've figured.

Yeah. I mean, how do you think their digestion's doing on this trip? Yeah. And he shit inside of his sleeping bag. Well, listen, slumber parties can get weird. You get a Boy Scout badge for that. It's a merit badge. Yeah.

Shitting in the bag. Yeah. I think it's the third one. Right? Mawson spent hours cleaning Mertz in what may be the worst moment in Explorer history. Mawson gave Mertz some cocoa and beef tea, and then he shit himself again.

Okay. Why don't you think what happened with beef tea? Yeah. I would shit myself if you gave me beef tea. I nearly shit myself when you said it. I was holding on. The fuck is beef tea? They're eating dogs.

They're drinking cows. What the fuck is going on? Add a bit of cocoa to it, though. Like, it's Christmas. Little cinnamon will really spice that cow drink up. Anyone want some hot cow? Cup of hot cow? Mawson cleaned him again,

and then they started moving. But Mertz got worse. He fell into a complete delirium. They made camp. Mertz pulled himself halfway out of his sleeping bag and flailed about in a wild frenzy. He was trying to find his fingers. Yoddy, yoddy, yoddy, yoddy, yoddy!

He's only talking in yoddles. Mertz. Mawson wrote, During the afternoon, he has several fits and is delirious. Fills his trousers again, and I clean him out. I can't believe he's cleaning him every time. I'd just be like, look, at the end of the day, we'll do one. This is a real fucking rollercoaster you're taking me on.

Pulled back is probably trying to keep warm, and he keeps cleaning up the shit. I made another boom, boom. Oh, God. I'm going to clean you, and I'm going to ask you to stop calling it boom-booms for the last time. Oh, another boom, boom.

Oh, no. I wish I fell down that fucking crevice. Nothing, nothing. I didn't say anything. Here, reverse your sleeping bag again. Get another wet wipe. Thank God we brought a sled of wet wipes. I will say that in retrospect. You guys were saying that was crazy.

Like I said, beef tea wet wipes, boom. He is very weak, becomes more and more delirious, rarely being able to speak coherently. At 8 p.m. he raves and breaks a tent pole. Wait, at 8 p.m. like daily or that one day? At 8 p.m. on clockwork, he's like, time to go to work? Time to make the crazy.

What time is it? 7.30 or half an hour? Wake me at like 7.55. I'm going to go ape shit. Need enough time to stretch. I'm going to brush my teeth. I'd hate to pull a muscle, go crazy, you know. Is that another boo-boo? God damn it. 9 o'clock is boom-boom time.

Listen, don't call it that. If you know, then get out of the bag, please. If it's a schedule. Oh, I made a boom-boom. At this rate, we're going to run out of wet wipes. Use the dog to wipe me. Because I still got one left, haven't I? They still got ginger.

Yeah, ginger. Good on ginger. A little ginger in that cow tea, really. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Brings out the regret. Oh, yeah. Really tastes the bad decision-making.

Oh, yeah. At the back of the throat. I can't believe eating so much dog made me shit. So he continues to rave for hours. I hold him down, then he becomes more peaceful, and I put him quietly in the bag. He dies peacefully at 2 a.m. in the morning of the 8th. He had lost all the skin on his legs and private parts.

Ah. See you guys later. Now, you know what? Sorry. I'm going to take off. Sorry. That's when we needed an et cetera. Oh, fuck.

Yeah, now that you know what the et cetera's placeholder was. Yeah. Sorry, his dick was skinless? Yeah. Give me an et cetera. What is that even? Okay. I don't want to...

It just comes off. You never had to... My dick's going to come off? No, I haven't. No. I don't have a molting penis. You got to learn how to fuck, bro. Yeah.

I'm sorry. Wait. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I apologize. You never took pills in the 90s? Like, you never... Wait a minute.

I've been doing it. I've been keeping... Huh? What? No, I can take my dick skin off all the time. No. Yeah. You got to.

It's like, if you're not, then you're fucked. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, shit. You were starting to freak me out, dude. Yeah, no, dude. I was just playing around, dude. Yeah, yeah.

Cool, man. Because I'm not sitting next to someone that's never lost a skin off their dick. You know what I mean? So many times. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. When was the best time?

You know, it's not like the first time your skin rips off your dick while you're having sex. Just like, remember that one forever. Yeah. It was so great, you know? Yeah. Yeah. We'll talk afterwards.

For sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dive back and after. It's weird. Yeah, we're just pulling a little bit of skin and it starts coming off your dick and then your whole leg just...

Yeah. It's just like pulling a thread. You're like, well, where does this end? And suddenly you just... I shouldn't have pulled that thread. I have no dick or legs. By the way, I hurt myself. 42, I don't do stunts normally and I won't do them again.

Oh, my God. I'm so glad we asked you to do this. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, man. God, where am I? This is terrible. I've been thinking that the whole fucking podcast.

What the fuck is going on? Dude had a skinless dick. He died. I forgot. He died. Right. Mert's dick fell apart today. Should have seen that headed this way.

Mert's. Is this yours? I wonder... I've been looking for that. Oh, let me just throw that back on there. There we go. Nah, I know. We pushed it.

I'm sorry. Ginger's like... No, that's my... Ginger, no. Bad Ginger. Bad. Put down Mert's cock skin. No.

It's a bad dog. I'm going to eat you. The worst was when Mert's made a little puppet out of his dick skin. Oh, yeah. Well, and then it turned into that TV show. That was just the worst. The Mert's hour? Bizarre and not good.

Yeah. One episode. I know. I am the little dick, man. This is good. This is good. Good character. Yeah.

Sorry. Okay. Okay, so quote, he had lost all the skin on his legs and private parts. We know that part, Dave. You just pick up right after. I am in the same condition. Oh, no. Two dudes, no dicks.

The one of my favorite Ryan Reynolds shows, but... Two dudes, one dick and a predicament. Back when he was good. Yeah. I have a sore on my finger that won't heal. That's not what you should be complaining about when your penis is skinless. Yeah. He pulled Mert's body out of the tent and hacked ice blocks from the ground.

He then covered his dead friend still in his sleeping bag. He made a crude cross of discarded sledge runners and placed it on top. It turns out eating husky meat is not a good idea. What? Especially the liver. The dog's livers contain a high concentration of vitamin A that can bring on a condition known as hypervitaminonous A. It causes drying and fissuring of the skin, hair loss, nausea, and high doses, madness.

Those just happen to be the symptoms Mert's had and soon mossen. But Mert's probably was also hit with hypothermia, overexertion and near starvation, so he was more affected. He shouldn't have been singing so fucking much. That's a lot of calories he could have had. Mossen was now 100 miles from the nearest human being, and he was also breaking down. Quote, the nose and lips break open, he wrote, Oh, I mean, like, things are not good when you're like, doot, doot, doot, doot.

So my nose is open. Feels weird. Weird picking it. He had open sores on his scrotum. Wait a minute, so he has no skin and open sores. I don't even want to say it. Writing his groin was getting. Wait, what?

Ready? No, nobody's ready for what's about to fucking happen. Well, that's the end of the dollop, and thanks for coming down. In a very raw condition, due to reduced condition, dampness, and friction in walking. Antarctic chafing, I think. The skin was peeling off his legs. He felt like he should just give up, right? Yeah, right.

Honestly, yeah, just stop. Just stop. Yeah, eat your fingers and go. At this point, Ginger's like, just fucking eat me. I can't watch this shit. I'll cook me, however you want to handle this. Yeah. He should have eaten Mertz.

I mean, I don't want to... Right? I've been doing the dollop for too long. I don't listen to it. I'm on it. How the fuck are you not like, he just... Well, Mertz thought he was tasty. Yeah.

Yeah. Finally, get some of that Mertz meat. Yeah, with your beef tea. Yeah. But, Mawson wanted to tell everyone what had happened to his two friends, and he had a fiance. Mawson wrote in his diary, I shall do my utmost to the last. He continued on for days.

The wind finally died out at 9 a.m. on January 11th. He had been making good time because he used his knife to cut the one remaining sledge into and put up a sale. Smart. And, well, he also didn't have to clean his partner's sleeping bag four times a day. Right? Yeah. Suddenly, he had a lot of time on his hands and could get some shit done.

A little time on his hands, not fingers. Right. Yeah. He made a sale by sewing Mertz's jacket to a cloth bag. I wish he had sewn Mertz. That would be amazing. I mean, just a guy fucking going across the ice with a Mertz sale. Yeah.

It's just tremendous. The wind is, like, going in his mouth, so there's a little yodel sort of still going. Yeah. Take these broken wings and fly again. Mix it. I can't believe what's happening up there. It's beautiful. Soon his feet became incredibly painful.

He sat down on a sledge and took off his boots to take a look at the situation. What? He probably has a boo-boo. Not a boom-boom. The skin on the soles of his feet had come off. Alrighty. It's going to be a problem. Yeah.

No skin on your dick is tough, but you don't walk on your dick. Not in the Antarctic, anyway. What's that man doing? He's bouncing across. How do we follow him? The little holes all the way. Follow. Here, actually, if you hop in his holes, it'll be easier if you follow him.

The earliest dick walkers started in the Antarctica. He has no feet. The bottom of his feet were just raw and blistered, spurting pus and blood. Sperting. Sperting. Yeah. All right. Thank you.

I wondered how that would sound. He smeared his feet with lanolin and taped the dead soles of his feet. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. Hello. Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Hello. Hello.

Hello. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. Feet are taped together. He's chuck full of beef stew and he's got one dog named ginger. Yeah, let's roll He wrote my whole body is apparently rotting from want of proper nourishment frost-bitten fingertips Festerings mucus membrane of nose gone saliva glands of mouth refusing duty skin coming off my whole body Drop the journal honestly. Yeah, it's enough check-ins. We get it

But you're not doing enough with the riding and more with the hopping okay pursue the hopping. That's a better thing How's your holiday? Skin coming off Wish you were here dear Santa this Christmas. Will you bring me skin? Lots of it He was running out of time the expedition's relief ship Aurora was scheduled to arrive at Commonwealth Bay on January 15 To pick up the men and head back to Australia Masen was still more than 80 miles away and he was growing weaker by the hour

He was now walking stumbling and crawling There were so many snow drifts and ice sheets that he could make little progress on some days The next day he was unable to walk because of the nose skin on the bottom of his feet thing right It is yeah, it is so he took a day to rest on January 13th He started again and at the end of the day He could see in the far distance the high uplands of the plateau that ended at base camp at this point He could only go five miles a day. I

Can't believe he's not quite like I got what I'd be dead by now. Holy shit. Would I be dead? Yeah? Oh fuck? Yeah, I mean yeah, many many days ago. I would have found a crevice. I'm trying myself down Yeah, whoopsies Have fun with the finger Bye ginger Ginger's like I could have fucking eaten you fucking hypocrite I'm having a little nap down the crevice. Don't wait for me. Hey if you see some foot skin throw it down What skin that's gonna be the name of this movie

Matthew McConaughey in Foot skin I'm the end guy. I do that in the previous in alright. Have a good day everybody. Thanks. That's a hundred thousand dollars. All right, boom We can't do it without the end guy in all right. Thank you Mawson's biggest worry during the entire return trip was that he would also fall into a crevice. That was his biggest fucking worry Yeah, well, he's fucking crazy. I mean he's eating had too much husky liver cuz yeah, there's bigger fish to fry That's true, but I'm bigger dogs to cook. Yeah, ginger But on January 17th, that's exactly what he did

So there was a jerk he fell his fall was stopped The sledge was longer than the crevice was wide and it stuck in the snow So it formed a bridge across the crevice Mawson was now dangling 14 feet below the sled Beneath him was a bottomless pit His first thought was that he regretted that he didn't have the chance to eat the last bit of food before he died I'll be honest that's exactly what I would have thought as well As I was going down as quickly eat a snack

Gotta oh my god I Can't believe I left the Pringles Sittin' up there, fuck what I hate this shit out of those right now. The thing is if you get to them once you pop you can't stop, right? Just keep on going. Fuck the Pringles. Dammit. The sledge slowly started to move, which meant he didn't have long before his death was imminent.

I had time to say to myself, so this is the end, expecting every moment the sledge to crash on my head and both of us to go to the bottomless unseen below. Then I thought of the food left uneaten on the sledge and of Providence again giving me a chance. The chance looked very small as the rope had soared into the overhanging lid. My finger ends all damaged myself weak. Incredibly, Mossin found the strength to climb up the rope slowly, hand over hand, but he kept losing his grip and sliding back down. I really thought you were going to say he kept losing his fingers.

I thought they were just like, oh shit, this is going to be way harder now. Now I can't get to the food up there, I can't get to the food down there. Six left, time to make a decision. So, where the fuck? Shit, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god. Just get there, you'll be right. Then I thought of the food on the ledge. Now it's getting a little ridiculous.

So he climbs up, falls back down, and that happened a few times. He finally made his way to the edge of the crevice, his fingers bleeding. Quote, at last I just did it, he recalled. He pulled himself clear, exhausted, he passed out for two hours. When he woke he was covered in snow. He then found the strength to put up the tent and get into his sleeping bag. And then it should say, and then he shit himself. In his tent that night he made a rope ladder and attached it to his sled and his harness.

Now if he fell into and dangled over a bottomless pit. He had a ladder? He made a ladder, he was like, if this fucking happens again I'll have a ladder. Yeah, not just any ladder, a rope ladder. Amazing, amazing. So if it happened again he would crawl up the ladder and the next day that's exactly what happened. But he planned for it, right? He's like fucking MacGyver.

He is MacGyver. MacGyver. MacGlacier. And the ladder worked perfectly. Massam was now convinced he had no chance to survive. The deadline to reach the hut had come and gone and the aurora had steamed away. But he was driven on with the hope that he would leave his diary where searchers might find it and learn the story of the doomed far eastern party.

It was now almost the end of January. He could only go about four miles a day. He's Simper, that's not a word. Oh, he's Simper. Oh, he spent a lot of time dealing with all of his wounds. His hair started to fall out. Then another blizzard came, but he refused to let the storm stop and continued for another eight miles before taking his tent for the night.

Jesus Christ. In the morning he exited his tent and realized he was almost there. He could see the coastline of Commonwealth Bay. He only had 40 miles to go to make it to base and was just 30 miles from a supply dump. On January 29th, he saw a pile of rocks. There he found a note and some food that had been left by men at the base. At this point, they were very concerned he had not returned. From the note, Massam learned that he stood only 28 miles from the hut.

This helped to give him the fight to push on. On February 1st, he made it to Aladdin's Cave. Oh, he gets three wishes in there. He's fucking being fired. Fucking food, the dog's back. Hey, first of all, a bit of dick skin. That's the first thing. All right, my first one's gonna sound crazy. I need skin on my dick.

Number two. Oh, God, I should have said how much dick skin. Jesus. This was all over the place. Okay, second wish, bigger pants. And sled. And some beef tea. More beef tea.

And a pregnant dog that'll make more dogs that I can eat. I'm actually just wishing for the scenario I just got into. I wish this had never happened. In the cave, he found three oranges and a pineapple. What? That's all right. What do you mean? Nothing better than when you're really hungry, you get to play Fruit Ninja.

That's a great thing. How'd that happen? I mean, I assume it was because they were worried he'd have scurvy. But what about more food? Yeah, seriously. Like, if you're worried about him, isn't he better than three oranges and a fucking pineapple? Hey, let's give him a piney and some oranges. What?

What about like some beef or beef jerky? No, he'll have tea of that. He'll be fine. No. Hey, what about a big, like, prickly thing that he won't be able to open? Yeah, that is the other thing. He's like peeling the oranges like, fuck. Yeah.

Die, fingers must. God damn it! What about an apple, you cunts? Also the name of his diary. Mawson rested in the cave that night. Oh, by the way, he cried when he saw the pineapple and the oranges. Yeah, because he knew how hard it was to peel that fucking pineapple. He knew that was two fingers gone.

The pineapple nightmare continues. I am three fingers down. Mawson rested that night in the cave. The next day, a terrible blizzard hit and he was stuck in the cave for five days waiting for it to break. Jesus Christ. It finally cleared on February 8th and he made his way back to base. As he approached the base, he saw the expedition ship Aurora leaving. Oh, no! Are you serious?

All right, I'll swim after it. What I like is he swims after it and every eight miles he stops and holds up his diary and writes another journal. Dear diary, fucking drowning. This is much harder than I expected. That help. I took my merts, sailed down and made him into a raft. And the songs are beautiful. He thought that was it. He figured he was done.

Then he saw three men working at some task near the hut. Mawson stopped and waved. Waving. Hello. Hi. Hi, guys. I'm pretty much skinless. Can you guys come to me? Do you have any dick skin?

Why is that man waving a sausage above his head? That's my penis. Hey! I went into Aladdin's cave and got fruit. Normal. The men were too far away to hear his shouts. Finally, one of them looked up and saw him. A party had been left to wait for him. The men at the hut rushed up the icy slope to embrace Mawson. No, don't! Don't! I don't have skin!

Oh, God. The first to arrive was Frank Bickerton, a 24-year-old British engineer who had been in charge of another of the exploring parties. From 50 yards off, Mawson recognized Bickerton. From the look on Bickerton's face, Mawson knew he was in a horrible condition. Also, Bickerton must have had some really prominent features because remember, he's snow-blind.

That's going to be amazing when he's running up after you. He's like, hey! Good to see you, man. He throws up. You know he's gone. Don't eat my vomit! No, God! God! No! We have husky cooking!

Oh, God, don't say husky cooking. Yeah, so, Bickerton didn't know. In such bad condition that Bickerton didn't know which of the three he was. The skin was falling off what remained of his flesh. Most of his hair was gone. His hands and feet were barely functional. He was covered in frostbite and frozen sores, and he could hardly speak.

Mawson collapsed in their arms. The ordeal was over. He had missed catching the aurora by just five hours. Hey, listen, he chilled in that cave too long. Time is money. Gotta move. You could cut time right in that fucking journal. That's five hours right there. Boom. On the aurora.

First of all, gentlemen, I would like to say, fuck you for the pineapple. The amount of damage that pineapple must have done. Oh, God, that's torture. Six men had been left to stay and search for the group. Now they had to spend another year in the windiest place on Earth. It was a rough time for Mawson. Really? Was it?

I mean, he stared really rolling with punches. I'm just going to stand here. No, not lay down. I'm going to stand here and wait for my skin to come back. Could you imagine? I mean, he couldn't lay down, right? If his skin's all, like, everything. He can't stand either. Well, he could stand. His feet are taped on.

His fucking feet, like, sandals. Uh, you guys might not want to be in the room for this. I'm going to take off my feet. I took off my shoes. Should I take my feet off, too? I don't want to get the area dirty. Oh, fuck! That stinks! God, get some odor-eater or something. That is just...

Whoo! I have athlete's foot. I mean, had it. I don't have a foot anymore. Uh, he wrote, I find my nerves in a very serious state, and from the feeling I have in the base of my head, I have suspicion that I may go off my rocker very soon. My nerves have evidently had a great shock.

Wait, what? My nerves have had a great shock. Oh, this was a rough one. I've gone, what's known as cuckoo bananas. Despite his ordeal, the additional year helped to ensure that the Australasian Antarctic expedition was a scientific and technical success. Yeah.

So it's a fucking... It was a success? Yeah, because they got to stay there and do more scientific-y stuff. Another winter gave them the opportunity to better study the electro-atmospheric phenomenon of the Aurora Australis. The southern light...

You guys have southern lights? Yeah. Oh, they're fucking... Can you see them from here? Oh, they're pretty awesome. I've seen the northern ones. I don't know if the northern ones are better. Northern lights are pretty sick, bro.

When the summer came, the remaining team were able to map the further reaches of the new part of the British Empire and survey and sample its wildlife and geology. Mawson's team discovered the first meteorites in Antarctica. While their word came that Robert Falcon Scott's latest venture in Antarctica had ended in his death. His wife, Kathleen, who we met, member in...

Yeah. His wife, Kathleen, was on a ship in the Pacific, headed to meet Scott when she got the news. Mawson called her on the wireless. She responded by sending Mawson a message of love and sympathy. He radioed back to Kathleen that her message had touched my heart and presses the key of the most tender feelings imaginable.

And then he said, please accept my love. That's creepy. It's like when a dude over texts, you know. Yeah, I know. I really think this is special. Yeah. Oh, boy, your husband died.

How about if I get it? Get it right away. Can I get in there? Yeah. You know? Well, but when I say get in there, I'm going to need to tell you a couple things first. Yeah.

Yeah. This is the awkward conversation. But I think we can have it in an honest and open way. Yeah. I mean, the base doctor, quote, it grew back weird. Yeah. And not at all. So...

But have you ever had a skinless dick in you? Ringtone. So he was knighted in 1914 by King George V. He went into... He accidentally stabbed him during the night. Yeah. That's why he's a lot ghost. Yeah, exactly.

I pronounce you old. And you are... Oh, my God. What did I just do? He went to... In the war, World War I, he went and served in England. And that's where Kathleen was. He often spent much of the summer.

I went to... In 1916 with Kathleen. He was almost constantly with her. They went out to dinner and dancing. She wrote in her diary. What? Hang on. How did he do that?

He's box stepping now? Yo, fuck yeah. His skin's back, baby. Yeah. I can't stop dancing now. I got skin on my motherfucking feet. Don't waste it. Oh, man.

You imagine complaining around him? Yeah. He's like, my back hurts. He's like, what the fuck did you just say? It's just a little bit. I ate my dog. Watched my friend eat his goddamn fingers. And my dick had no skin.

You don't even know what a boom-boom is. That's a good catchphrase. Oh, you don't even know what a boom-boom is. Tell you host out of Mertz in a bag. Mertz. Yeah, they went out to dinner and dancing. She wrote in her diary, Douglas Mawson kissed my hand on leaving.

He's dear and a very clever... His lips fell off. There's a better thing. What was that? There's a better thing. Sorry. You're trying to spread my back on previous. I had a memory time.

What? And we used to do it again. I get like a man. But don't make it common. Oh. You and I. Yeah. Like common.

Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Maybe you should just ride it down. Where are your fingers? Go, go. Okay.

Two words. Moo me. Moo me. Yes, yeah. Moo me. Moo me. Yep. yeah.

Yep. Yep. Yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Right. Yeah. Hey. Yeah. Hey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, so they hung out. They went on a holiday together. He's married, by the way. He married Paquita. Oh, yeah. Where'd they go on a holiday? Antarctica? Yeah. Oh, she had a little... I know a little place. Somewhere warm. I know a little place down there. A little cave.

Do you like pineapple? Would you like ice in your water? Yeah! Okay. Too soon. Too soon. All righty. Yep, so she wrote that she enjoyed him very thoroughly indeed.

Wait, what did she write? She enjoyed him very thoroughly indeed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, girl. Yeah. Brother's back. Yeah.

Shit. They spent... They spent weekends at a cabin together and they basically, yeah, people started to gossip. After a long summer of hanging with Kathleen, Mawson suggested his wife Paquita and their daughter joined him. Smart. That's the best way to do it. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, this is before Ashley Madison, so... Yeah. Bring him! Yeah. But he still spent time with Kathleen and went to the cabin. She wrote, we went for a very long walk from Hastings, lost our way, had lunch, etc. All right.

Let's not ask about the etc. I don't want to know. That's fine. We know where that went last time. Nervous. I've been hurt by an etc. Yeah. Recently.

Yeah. I'm not looking to get into another one right now. Be careful with an etc. Yeah. If there's anything we've learnt today. So they went on a long walk, his dick skin fell off. Yeah. Yeah.

That's some beef tea. Yeah. They had a husky. That was their last time together when Mawson called on her again, she had gone to Ireland. When Mawson was finally leaving London in 1919, Kathleen hosted a luncheon and invited him, but did not invite Pukita. Interesting. Can you come to a lunch without your bitch?

It's quite an invitation. RSVP. Mawson returned to the University of Adelaide in 1919 and was appointed Professor of Geology and Mineralogy in 1921. In 1929, he went back to Antarctica on a research expedition. No. What? Fucking what?

Ah man. What? Even back then they couldn't fucking leave it alone. They had to bring out a sequel. Yeah. My God. It's just, the skin hasn't come off my back yet. It's like, Jesus Christ.

But this time there would be no bases, they stayed on the ship the whole time. Okay, okay. I've got a plan. I've got a plan. Great plan, you guys. We look at it. Look at it. There it is.

Let's go back. All right. Turn her around. There she is. You know, I saw a guy make a boom-boom over there. Why is that called boom-boom mountain, Mawson? Well, they stayed on the ship and mapped the coast of Antarctica. He retired when he was seven years old.

Mawson died in his Brighton home on the 4th of October, 1958, from a cerebral hemorrhage. Brain finally got him. Wow. You guys have your own Hugh Glass. Yeah. It's true. Right. Oh, sure.

Impressive. Fucking legend. Fucking legend. Legend. It's crazy. Like, he got a 70. Like, that is amazing. 70?

That's stacks of heaps of age. I have to say, I think the best part is when a guy bites off his finger. I'm fine. All right. Didn't expect that. Great. Well, you guys. Thank you.

Thank you for coming. This was fucking awesome. I want to thank Hamo, who was awesome. That's it. We love you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.