The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 109 - Mad Dan Morgan (Live in Australia)

Episode Date: August 26, 2015

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine bush ranger Mad Dan Morgan live in Canberra, Australia SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca host. Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Unipub comedy club in Canberra. Let's get a big round of applause for Dave Anthony and

Gareth Reynolds for a live dollar. Let's go! You're supposed to be my goddamn friends. Okay just checking. Hi everybody. Dave's gonna take a minute. Jesus Christ Dave slow down. Thank you. Greg give it up for Craig. We were... Craig and David made this happen. We were delayed a second because that door was locked and you should have seen Craig trying to get the fucking door open. He was like all right like oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. It was dynamite. We were just laughing at him and laughing. Yeah I mean we were literally go I was like look at him. I mean I didn't mean to be an asshole but

I'm like look at him Dave. He's really moving fast. Those keys are fucking jingling. Well this is great we're very excited to be here and your nation's capital. We always wanted to visit your nation's capital. Yeah well I mean for me since April but still very gratifying. And to come here on your biggest day when your leader announces that he loves anal is a big thing. They're saying anal's the new onion. The sad thing is is he probably he probably saw that screenshot or he was watching and he saw it go across upon the screen he was like how did they know? And his wife was like Tony hey who are you telling?

How did that even happen? It was a Twitter as a Twitter handle. And then they just tweeted and then on that show because of that then it just don't have just some fucking idiot who's just totally stoned out of his mind. No no no some hero. Some hero. That's what I meant. I meant hero. I did mean hero. Yes thank you. Is there anything else you want to shout the date? We should say we should say tickets. We're doing a stand-up show in Perth. What happened? I don't know. What did you say? I didn't say anything. Why did they laugh? I don't know what happened. What just happened? And you guys laugh about that? Did someone did

someone just get mad? You know this being you know this being recorded right? This is a recorded podcast. We're not allowed to see other coasts. I'm not I'm not telling you guys to go to fucking Perth. I'm talking to the recording. Fucking mad about it. No! Your eyes. Fucking go there! A cage just drops down. Craig the King's like I can't fucking fuck shit. I dropped it out of fucking drain. I want to thank you know Dave and Craig have been great to us and they run the Canberra. Canberra. Canberra? Canberra man? Canberra him. Canberra? Canberra Perth. Canberra they run the that's not gonna help as much as you think.

Canberra comedy festival. Canberra comedy festival. Here are the things that happened today. If you haven't heard I lost the SD card that had the podcast on it. I lost the backup SD card that had the podcast on it and I forgot the posters at the place we're staying at. How's everybody? You know what you know what someone might have had a few drinks last night. That's totally the Perth life. She's just a fucking firecracker. Our special guest is the crazy person. Yeah there's no guests tonight it's just us which we've never done before but we kind of wanted to do something like this because you know this

is how this is what it is normally like in an apartment. Yeah. Except you guys aren't there and all the doors are open. Right miss and there's a dog that barks and a crazy man who drags chains. I'll record. The guy who fixes the window. Oh that's good. Oh say so two announcements because I'm gonna put this up tonight. At Adelaide we have added a stand-up show with Justin. You know I'm dying to do it. With Justin Hamilton and that will be tomorrow night. Wednesday 10 30 show. And what they're saying is that it could be so nice. I am just becoming like it is gonna be I'm gonna be like opening car dealerships eventually in Adelaide just

like I don't want to sing the fucking song anymore. Come on down it could be so nice. And then in Perth we have a stand-up show on Friday night at 10 at the Civic also and those tickets. Go to DaveAnthonyComedy.com and I'll put the links up there. Or else you can go to the Facebook page or you can go to the Twitter feed. I thought you were taking off your shoes. It's not like the plane. Oh that guy. He takes off his shoes every fucking plane right and then he loses them. They slide forward over so today he's like I lost my shoe again. I'm like Jesus Christ. And then he has to go to the guy in the seat in front of

us and he's like hey ha ha man. Hey stranger can I have my shoe? And I start laughing and I'm like this is fun and the guy's just like. But he also grabbed it by the bottom. And I was like what are you like you could just I'd be pissed if you had to like grab the bottom of a shoe. It's a high top. Just fucking grab the high top. But he's like oh disgusting. He doesn't want your your gross dirty feet sweat on him. So he didn't grab the top. Well his loss right girls. Stroke. Gary stroke down. Smelling toast. Anyway those are our flight stories and that's gonna be a second podcast. Dave lost the podcast. I missed

the shoe. We're gonna start a second podcast called Flight Stories. 1830. What just happened over here? Did someone just get mad at 1830? I feel like we all might by the end of this. What happened? What do you think this show is? Oh he's the no no he's the guy. Is he the guy? The guy's here. So when we got to the airport I don't know if you told the story I want to on the only one that didn't get lost but when we went to the airport to to fly out of LA we got up to the counter and it was Qantas and we said we said hey you know we have our tickets and the guy goes sure and he pulls them out and he goes this one says there's a memo on

it and it says no sleep till hippo. And that's Dave's ticket. So we're like laughing like that's crazy and then the guy's like you have one too and we all know what it said prefers Gary and so we were like what the fuck is going on and there's some legend who was probably in the room tonight who works for Qantas works for Qantas he fucking went in there and put that shit on there. Yeah got into their airtight system fucking pop nicknames on there and no sleep till hippo. So now we have two legends in Australia we have the guy who said Ufti Gufti to us. We have Abe in the Ufti Gufti

here. And Melbourne and now we have the guy who is in this room somewhere who did the Qantas business. Yeah the Qantas quandary. Three also Tony Abbott for loving anal. Right. John Fuller was born in Sydney. Not Canberra. He was the illegitimate son of Irish immigrants. Alrighty. George Fuller who was a seller of vegetables. Someone call him a vegetable salesman. Sure what a racket. Fancy a better broccoli. That's all I got. How about a carrot. Huh? Do you like squash? Hello. Hey. I'm the vegetable man. Fancy a fucking cauliflower. Tomato. People are like we can see the vegetables please just see what you have. His wife was

Mary Owen who was known as the gypsy woman. Oh boy. Not a good thing. Nope that's not a good sign yet. When he was about two years old he was adopted by another man John Roberts. Wait. I don't know. I'd like to adopt your boy. Yeah take the little fucker. The kid's just sitting on the vegetable card he's like one boy. No don't fuck it. Yeah you can take that one. He keeps shitting on the squash. Okay. Then why do you put him on the cart? Oh yeah that's smart man huh. It's the smarty pot. He was brought up around Campbelltown and Appen. Yeah. Yeah. In school he was categorized as quote one of the bad lots. He loved the bush when he was a boy he

was not that kind. You're kind. He's a regular boy. Kind out there. Oh. Other countries just call it nature. Well there's also a third one. Oh. Keep going. He was fond of the solitude the bush gave when he was still a young boy he would go off into the bush for days and live off the land. Well he's a boy. Yeah and his parents are just like when we say you got two dads now. He doesn't have parents anymore he's got the guy who was known as Jack the Welshman and he and apparently Jack would be like yeah go off into the forest there have a good time. So wait what happened is so is it the vegetable salesman's out of the

picture. Yeah they just some other guy adopted him. It doesn't sound like some other guy adopted him it sounds like some other guy bought him. Adoption is like you're like oh we don't want him anymore go figure it out and then someone's like I will take him. I don't know how Australia works. I don't know their laws. Okay so Jack the Welshman would let's just let this boy go wander in the bush for days on it. Yep. Good daddy. So young John would amuse himself by breaking in wild horses and riding them. Okay. Is that is breaking in just riding. No I think they're they're running on wild that he would catch them and he would

fucking break them and make them not want to run wild anymore. They would just be like right look I'm from America and I know about breaking in fucking horses so get your shit back. If you break in wild horses you fucking break their spirit. Anyway yeah he teach them how to be ridden. Another way of saying killing the horse's spirit. It's kind of like me with Gary. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah yeah you do. The thing went away. There it is. Alright so he's breaking in wild horses. That lady the Perth lady I'm still mad about it. Roberts looked after John Fuller until he was 17 and then found him his job job as a stock

writer. He wrote stocks. Wrote stocks? I agree I mean I don't even know what. It doesn't matter. Okay. Proving. He would break their spirit. He would break the stock spirit. Proving efficient he worked at the station for seven years so did a station. Sure. But Fuller did not enjoy the work he wanted something more exciting. That of course was bush ranging. Bush ranging was something that evolved from the convict system established in Australia. The first bush ranges we just took to the bush to escape a work and the prison system the real horrible criminals were just hung in Britain so the convicts

sent to Botany Bay were more political agitators, industrial writers, poachers and stealers of handkerchiefs. We've already tried to solve that. That's not... No answer. Many comics became honest and reputable citizens while some of them just weren't a big on authority. Early bush rangers just wanted freedom. Some joined native tribes. Others stole food from settlers until they were eventually caught and others just died. Sorry. Okay so wait like that you go to the bush and it's basically guys who escaped. They just gave him a fancy fucking name but they're escape criminals. In the bush. Yeah. Okay. They would go out there and live.

People would just be like fuck it just don't go there anymore. I think so. Okay. I can't say for sure. Sure. And none of them can either. Yeah. I mean there's one person but we shouldn't ask her. Oh she'll tell us. She speaks to an auction. Bush ranger was a term most often used in New South Wales in Van Demen's land. They were called bolters. Okay because they bolted? Yeah they ran. They bolted. That should be it. That's a better name. What? Bolter. Yeah. I agree. Good punch up. Thanks. So the first bush rangers were just dudes who took to the bush to escape work and one could be a bush ranger without committing any crimes. You could just go

out there and live. You don't have to be a fucking criminal. Why do you want to be a criminal? I didn't say anything. You're attacking me and I didn't say that I want to be a criminal. Convicts endured hard work, long hours, poor accommodation and shortages of food which caused them to take off. Many convicts also just wanted to change a pace. What was happening in Australia? So there's just there's just areas where you just don't go. It's full of convicts. No well there it's a penal colony. Yeah I understand that but so we're still like in the transition phase right? We're still finding our legs as a society. No

well there right now there's settlements, there's settlements and there's penal colonies. Okay great all right. So it's like states and a couple of them are basically cells. What? Huh? I don't know what you're talking about. We're in the same boat. Plow ahead baby. Many. So many of the Bush Rangers just couldn't deal with the pure boredom of being on a penal colony and this led them to commit crimes. Within their penal colony to be sent to a road gang or a penal settlement. Okay. So they're committing crimes to get out of their prison. Interesting choice. I didn't know that was an option. There's a

lot of great rules here. I judge Forbes said quote I have known cases in which it appeared that men had committed crimes at Norfolk Island. Norfolk? Norfolk. Island for the mere purpose of being sent to Sydney to be tried and the cause of just their desiring to be so sent was to avoid the state of endurance in which they were placed in Norfolk Island. Geez this guy. Yeah. Not a fan. Yeah. How about fewer words? Blah blah blah blah. Come on. How about you get to send to prison for babbling? Hey fuck you guy. Several cases occurred in which men at Norfolk Island cut the heads off their

fellow prisoners with the hoe while at work with the certainty of being detected and the certainty of being executed. They did this without malice and went charge said it was better to be hung than to live in such hell. What the fuck? What about the guy who's like hey man I was just out of here working. I was like kind of happy. Yeah why'd you cut my head off? I kind of had a whole little system figured out. Now I'm gonna cut your head off so that I could die. Well cut your own head off. You know what I mean? Cut your head off. Feels like my head maybe doesn't need to be. Do you know what I'm saying? You feel me right? There's no

need to have a middleman. I like my head. I'm gonna cut your head off so that I die. Some men chose something different than horrific murder to escape the monotony. That would be that would be bush-ranging. Norfolk Island was established to send reconnected prisoners there. It was for double convicts basically. Okay. Many of the most notorious bush-rangers ended up there. It was the double prisoner prisons that were the worst for tallies ever done it. So they did not want to go to the double prison. Yeah no but the term double prison like who would the fuck would want to even understand that was a thing. Prison in prison!

What? You're going to two prisons? You never, if you get in that first prison, you're back in prison! This is like inception jail. So a lot of there were a lot of violent violent prisoners there. The flogging happened all the time. The early bush-rangers knew they would be flogged when they were brought back or returned on their own. As some did when they were tired of life in the bush and they expected a flogging and quote took it like a man. Yeah. Go ahead and beat me back. Flog me fuckface! The flogging is said to be horrible and given for all sorts of reasons. There were two

floggers in Sydney who were considered artists. I'm a Banksy! Oh I love what you've done there. You're really beautiful. Look at the context! Holy shit! Fucking hell! Loved the way you did the trees there. Beautiful. Looks so realistic. Thank you. I did that with me flogging things. Absolutely lovely. With this. I did it with this. The little thing with all the little bumps. Beautiful canvas you have. Thank you. That used to be a man. I can't believe that. I'm hanging it on my fucking mantel. They used to flog together one right-handed and the other left-handed. That's super fucked up. I mean. Sing that songs. Here we go. In the back and la-di-da. Well we got a lot of right-handed floggers. We're looking to fill it out with

about six to seven lefties right now. Don't really fucking flog the fuck out of them. They both prided themselves on being able to flog a man without breaking the skin. Wait. Okay. They were they they took pride in the fact that they could flog a man without breaking his skin open and making him bleed like a little fucking pussy. Sorry. So the they're just trying to like break bones without breaking skin essentially. No they're not breaking bones. They're just basically beating the shit out of them without actually having them pop open. Like God like God wants. It actually does sound hard to do and I guess you should take some pride in that. If you are a

flartist as I'm calling them then yeah. I don't know how iPads work but this one just there. Oh got light again. Yeah that's that's important for this. It went dark and then it was like oh go light. Mine talks to me. So while no blood was spilled the back of the man was said to have quote puffed up like blown veal. Who's blowing that's what I thought. I'm just gonna suck the veal. Be ready to go. I fucking blew the shit out of that veal. Look at it. I walked in and my wife was blowing the veal. Hey that's for dinner. So okay so they're basically making like hunch backs. Yep. Via flogging. Yep. They're making Quasimodos. Yeah why not. Not

breaking the skin. Mm-hmm. And guys are puffing up because veal did that or does that. Yep. I think he nailed it. I love how they used to compare things to shit back then like now you don't even know they're just like oh he's fucking he's as sick as a feather. You're like what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. Puffed up like veal. He's as fat as a leaf. I got nothing. I'm out. I don't think I had anything at the beginning. I have nothing now. I was wondering if there was gonna be another one and there was sort of. Sort of is fair. But this just created a vicious cycle the brutality would lead to more men fleeing into the bush. The first bush

ranger was John Caesar a former West Indian Negro slave and petty thief. He escaped into the bush in 1790 with a musket. He survived by hunting and fishing as well as receiving food from sympathetic settlers. Okay. He would be caught and escape again and eventually Governor John Hunter offered a reward of five gallons of rum which caused Caesar to be captured. And so what we're saying is that alcohol was more better than money. That's basically what you're saying. He was running around for all this time escaping and then they went oh look at me some booze and then fucking dead. He put like

and then he died and then they got him. Yeah they got him and shot him. Because they put rum on the table they're like sorry buddy we're not giving you table scraps anymore. We need the rum. Basically. Oh I know you've been my friend for a long time. Governor Hunter's smart. Yep. That's why he was called Governor. And Hunter. And he loved anal. All Australian leaders too. Such a great tradition. Where do you stand on anal? I am for anal. So among farmers there were many ex-convicts who had served their terms

and been granted a ticket of leave so they were out there and they would often help the Bush Rangers. Naturally due to the fact that they were convicts and prisons were brutal a more violent Bush Ranger emerged. And by 1815 Bush Rangers were being executed. Jesus. Yeah. It's not a fucking joke. Relax. I didn't say it was a joke. It's not a fucking joke. I know it's not a joke. The fuck did I do to you? After the convict Bush Rangers came a new breed. These were men who were born in the bush and often from poor free settlers. They were skilled horsemen and stronger and healthier than their convict predecessors. This leads us back to

young John Fuller. Oh right. Who now had the nickname Mad Dan Morgan. Does that mean you know who it is or are you just like fuck that's a nickname? They're just who like who like Mad is enough of an addition. You don't need to like change your whole name. Like you've got Mad. I mean like what but Mad Max wasn't like Kevin Schwartz. Like he was like Max something you know. Yeah but like he's fucking mad. But Mad John Fuller sounds stupid. Mad, Mad Dan Morgan's got a fucking rhyme. Mad Dan Morgan? Why not Mad Morgan? There's something. Get the damn out of there. Well it's nice to be a little familiar. It seems less you know. It counters the mad. By day he's just mild mannered Dan Morgan.

And who I am dad. But at night. He gets some rub. He gets mad. Then he's mad Dan Morgan. He left Campbelltown for Victoria. He spent a year with his adopted father then decided to go visit his mother to get there. So he's gonna go see his mommy again. Sure. To get there he stole two horses. What like a horse for the horse to ride? The horse is like I'm not taking you all the fucking way. He's like fine fine I'll get you a fucking horse. You'll also be riding. You fucking get on you. I just saw a guy ride by on top of two horses. But I'm not gonna carry a horse a horse in you. Fine we'll get another fucking horse. Fine five horses fucking shit. Mom I'm gonna be late. Creating a total ball of horses. Just five horses stacked. Five horses and Mad Dan's

atop the horse pile. Climb right to the circus. Alright. Okay so he's got two horses. So he's got two horses. Two horses and no plan. On the trip he narrowly avoided a party of police who were looking for him for stealing horses. He's like my name's Dan they're like well it's not him. Everything else checks out but this guy's name's Dan. I'm not mad Dan I'm just Dan. He doesn't seem angry. It doesn't. Mile tempered. He went on to try his luck at the castle main gold fields but that didn't pan out. Thank you. Don't pander over gold. Somewhere. That's what we call a horse on a horse. In 1854 he was back again in New South Wales this time under the name John Smith. What is he doing? I'm crazy John Smith now. Used to be mad Dan Morgan. I'm coming with the most

ordinary name of all time. John Smith. John Smith I'm a common motherfucker. He became a horse in a cattle wrestler and was able to drive them long distances and then sell them. He had a reputation of being a heavy drinker and having a violent temper. So weird. More cattle. You just don't expect that from a guy who was raised by Irish people. No. Not my mad Dan or John or whatever the fuck. At some point he drifted into Victoria. It was in Victoria in the castle main district that he first came into open conflict with the law. He stuck up two men. Now I kept running into this term stuck up and I just thought I just thought it meant like you put your hands up but here the here apparently back then apparently meant you would you would rob them and then tie

them to a tree and leave them. Much more complicated. He did it to two guys. Yep. Just with his hands. Like how did. No he tied them up with his feet. No but how do you get. How do you get two men. Yeah. A gun and they don't. You do have a gun. No he did. He did it with his eyes. I didn't know he had a gun. Well when we say stick them up I mean I'm thinking he had a gun and then when we say sticking them up means he ties them to a tree. The gun pops in my imagination. It just means he he doesn't just say give me your money. He then ties them up and leaves them in a perilous situation. So it's just an extra phase. Extra extra. I mean a long night. His tracks were quickly picked up and he was pursued and overtaken. He put up a desperate resistance but was finally

taken into custody. He was charged with highway robbery and convicted. The sentence was 12 years. In 1860 after six years on the prison ship success. The most fucked up name. Yeah. But it's great if you're like son is imprisoned because then you could just be like oh he's on success. He's on success. Nope. Nope. He's in. He's deep. He's deep in success. He's deep in success. He won't leave success. Can't. Okay then this now this this tale has a lot of names and I'm going to get most of them wrong and we're about to hit a fucking doozy. He was released for good behavior and given leave to go to the Yakindata district. What. I can't post right. Yeah. That's a fucked up name. You should have free range to say that one. However the fuck you want. Well I take that back. But

he failed the report in that yakindata and was named a quote prisoner of the crown illegally at large. Okay. I thought you were going to say prisoner of the year just because it felt like we were headed there. And he didn't come back but he's pretty fucking great. Who's going to accept the award for him. There's a horse that could. The one that's on top of that other horse. No no the one below that one. The third one. There's actually a mini pony underneath out of a fucking entire it is. From that point forward he lived a life of what was called vicious crimes. He had several aliases. I can't wait. Bob Jones. Bill the native. Bill the native. He's like a comic in the eighties. Down the river Jack. He's coming up with these right. There's no one. He's drunk. Yeah.

I'm a guy who has feet. Another one was Jack Smith which we've heard. Yeah. Just a fucking clean beautiful name. He was also of course Dan Morgan and also terror of the Riverina. He really I'm not saying he needs like a partner in crime but he does need a writing partner. Like somebody to just be like it's good. Let's just workshop that a little bit more because I don't know if that's final. Next time Morgan was heard of was in the Evoca district. Keep going Dave. He was back there stealing cattle. Then he was said to be in the Albury taking horses. Fuck. It's a slippery slope with Dave. Horses were Morgan's thing. He was said to be one of the most accomplished and daring horsemen. For some time he went about stealing them without any interference from police. I don't

know. Because he kept changing his name like fuck we're just getting close to my Don. Oh I got you. I'm Jimmy Tables. What was the one down the River Jack? Up the River Tony as well. I went the wrong way you see. Lateral swim in Kevin. Going against the current John. Oh fuck a waterfall Robert. So the police were busy with the Hall and Gilbert gang. Police are looking for nine people. And there's one. There's a fucking pack of them. They're busy with the Hall and Gilbert gang and they assumed his crimes were being done by the gang but then it became apparent he was not with the gang and so they began to hunt Morgan down. In the middle of 1983 a police party was formed. 1893. 1893. Did I say 1983? 1983. That's when they that's when they formed the party to go

together. All right let's get this fucker. So he lived for a hundred more years. I've been reading a history book and I've noticed no one ever caught this gentleman. So let's go get him. Really really old J. I'm a back Andy. We're going after. My knees hurt when there's a storm about Adam. We're going after stroke Steve. Why what's left of him? He moves in circles. In 1893 a police party was formed to arrest Morgan. He spent most of his Bushman career working alone but for a bit around this time he was partnering up with a companion named German Bill. From Austria. So him so he does have a buddy. Yeah you got a buddy. German Bill. Yeah he's like my work on the name Bill that's pretty basic. No it's a good name. No no you got to punch it up fake name crazy shit before

it yeah. It's a good name. I'm from Sweden. It's a good name. And my name is Sven. So I say I'm German Bill. Where are you from again Bill? I'm from Sweden. Sweden, Italy right? Yeah I like a spicy meatball. I like a spicy Swedish meatball. In August a party of police was organized by a volunteer named Henry Bayless and they tracked them for several days. Bayless was said to be one of the most fearless men in Australia. The police party arrived at their camp. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. During the chase. That's kick a bottle over Barry. Sorry I kicked over a bottle. So Bayless was one of the most fearless men in Australia. The police arrived at their camp on the 22nd at German Bill and Dan Morgan's camp. Sure. There they found a hut made out of bark and sticks but

Morgan and Bill were not inside. So they waited. The plan was to wait until they came inside and then they would arrest them so they went in the hut. Wait the cops went in the hut? Yep they went in the hut. To wait for them. That's so stupid. But you have a good plan? I don't know. I don't know how this ends probably with a murder but very crazy plan. Come on boys everybody in the hut. Everyone get in the hut. I don't have any more is there that's all I have. I know when he comes in we're all going to yell surprise. Surprise police party. The in the hut gang. So when they heard footsteps coming. Hide hide no don't hide. Sorry force of habit. One of the police party couldn't help himself and blindly shot out of the hut. Who's the rookie? I don't know but they could not

foresee what would happen because you're stuck in a hut. Yeah but still you've come this far you've waited in a hut. Just started shooting through it. Then everyone started shooting. Smart smart that's the way to teach him. A long shootout ensued. Morgan and German Bill began to find their position extremely grave so Morgan shot Bill. It's not going well fuck you cunt. Why? I'm with you police. Fuck these criminals. I got German Bill boys. He then made his escape by the police focus. Because then he was laying there and they could capture him so while they focused on him. Capture him later. It's easy to capture a dead guy. Chase up the hill Clark. During the shootout Henry Bayless was severely wounded but recovered. Later that same day Shepard was so

Morgan got away. Right of course. And then later on that same day Shepard was sitting on a log feeding his dog. When Morgan wrote up. Is this a poem? When all of a sudden a tremendous fall. When Morgan just wrote up and shot him in the head. He must have been mad about the shootout. And he saw this guy or maybe he ate it cheap or he didn't like dogs or just people. You know the dog just ate the rest of the food out of the dude's hand right away. Oh the dog was like everything's coming up me. Next Mad Morgan teamed up with three other bush ranchers around Christmas. They watched a road near. They watched a road near Narendra. I disagree. Kind of with Dave on this one again. Looking to rob wealthy people who were traveling to Melbourne. While they waited Morgan

stopped a two-wheeled cart being driven by an ox. The driver. Okay for a second it didn't feel like there was a driver. I could have just felt like it was animal farm. Morning how are you? Interesting. Really. That's fascinating. And he hasn't come home. That's crazy. Actually my you know I'm actually an orphan. Yeah. Well I was actually adopted by another man. My father was a vegetable salesman. I don't want to bore you with the whole detail. I just anyway. Yeah as long as you're good. As long as you're good. The driver John Cole was transporting cheese. There were several kinds of cheese. Morgan said he would quote like a bit. Give him the cheese. Give him all the fucking cheese. Cole told him to take the lot. Smart. Yes. Please tell me he doesn't shoot

this dude in the fucking head. Morgan replied the fucking traps would risk their necks climbing over the area railings for a leg of mutton. I don't know what I'd do for a whole cheese but this lumps good enough for me. None of that makes sense. That dude was like cool. Then just that thing. Get the fuck out of here. Take what you want. I don't know what the traps are. So I just know about cheese and being scared. Morgan then told Cole that the police generally were a sour milk lot. I made a dairy joke there. Over the next few months Morgan robbed various places and people between a wagga wagga and sure. What. So I mean if you don't think if you there's another way to say that bullshit. It's ridiculous anyway. It's completely like you mispronounce.

Wagga Wagga. Wagga Wagga. As the mayor of Wagga Wagga. I love anal. And I like to go. Oh man. It's a crazy fucking name for a place you guys. So he was he was robbing people between Wagga Wagga and me. And Denil Quinn. What. Yeah. Yeah. That guy. Close enough on April 16 1864 George Elliott showed up in Denil Quinn with a bunch of horses for sale. What fuck you. You tried to cover up that you laughed at it because you knew he'd get fucking pissed. It was like that. Dave was like what bitch. What did you say motherfucker. So George Elliott shows up with a bunch of horses and the local police sergeant thought something was up and he interrogated Elliott. After a while Elliott admitted that Morgan had robbed him of 127 pounds and a horse on

the road between Narendra and Geraldery. Thanks a lot. I don't know what's wrong with this side of the room. We're still mad about Perth. They'll never get over that it's on the other side of the country. It's the grieving phase. Now that he was traveling back by the same route he wanted to be rid of the horses because they would just be stolen again. And he didn't want to tell police what had happened because he might meet up with Morgan once more. So in June two members of the police force Sergeant McGinnery McGinnarty and Officer Churchley were right. That doesn't seem like real name for sure. I mean we've heard a lot of bullshit names. But yeah. They were riding on the road to Tomba Roomba. Tomba Roomba. All right. Yep. We've already done a tub thumping joke.

When they passed a man on horseback McGinnarty casually said good day as they passed the man then looked at them and said oh you're one of them fucking wretches looking out for bush rangers are you. He then pulled out his gun turned and shot McGinnarty through the breast. He had breasts. Big old titties. He really doesn't pull fucking punches. Nope. So McGinnarty was dead. Jesus. McGinnarty's horse bolted into the bush and Morgan chased after it. The other cop chasing horses. Well there's a dead guy on a horse that's a free horse. Oh the guy's still on the horse. Yeah he made the body. Okay. That helps the chase because the horse is like what should I do dude. We all get up there. What's going on. Feels like you really lack some of the controls. Are you napping

bro. Fuck man. I'm going to get on this horse and get the fuck out of here. Yeah. Yeah. They pass an ox who's like morning. The other the other cop churchly just took off. He would later. That's good detective work right there. Yeah. He would later say his horse also bolted because of the shots but then they found out that that's bullshit. That's it. He was later fired. That's totally the move I had pulled. I wanted to help but then the horse also took off. God damn it. You know what happened was I saw him shoot my partner and I just went I'm going to go away. That's the day I retired from the force. A paper at the time reported quote it is not explained how the thing happened but it would appear either that the horse bolted or that the constable and the animal went

off together. That's putting too much on the animal in this like the animal will do whatever the animal wasn't like I say we roll. Hey let's split up. We get to get the fuck out of here. Oh god the titty shooters back. No. He's shooting men with breasts. This is like jib class. When churchly when churchly returned with reinforcements they found McGinnity's hat on the road marking where the body was so it could be found. So that's nice. Yeah real sweet. After the shooting an advertisement appeared in the Albury Albury sure banner quote challenge to Morgan. John Smith is willing to meet Morgan. Now here's what's fucked up is he used his other alias to challenge Morgan. John Smith is willing to meet Morgan the murderer either by day or night single-handed on number

76 free selection. Groguery and how long roads. It turns out Morgan read the banner which he stole from people no word on whether or not he took up the challenge but some guy challenged him to a street fight himself. That's what I think. That's amazing. Very soon after the shootout Morgan showed up on a Sunday afternoon at Round Hill Station. He had a revolver in each hand and he crawled all the man about 20 into the carpenter's shop. He then told the owner Mr. Watson he took the took the owner Mr. Watson out and brought him over to the shop. He asked whether or not the men had enough rations. If they haven't they've only got to say so and they'll get more said Watson. I'm a good man. Morgan replied well I'm Dan Morgan I just want to know and

you'd better give them a cobbler to drink. Okay that makes more sense. What's wrong with your shoes? Oh you're not talking about a copy of that. I'm saying that movie. I don't want that. Will you shoot me instead? We all would rather that. Watson said he had no problem giving the man a cobbler and sent a messenger to get some. He came back with four bottles of liquor and each man was given some in a metal cup. The men laughed and enjoyed themselves. Feeling a bit casual now one of the men asked Morgan if he had stolen the stirrup irons from Mr. Johnson. Bad movie. Yeah I mean he's getting weight. He's like hey did you steal those stirrups? Sorry. Morgan whipped his pistol out cursing and shot into the room. Watson was shot through the hand. The man ran out and

Morgan followed them yelling you fucking wretches do you want to give me away? He shot. Yeah yeah they're they're gonna give you away bro. Walk out of there shooting them. Get them drunk and then chewed at him. He shot several times until a man named John McLean fell wounded. The rest of the men were now hiding behind trees. Morgan put McLean on his horse and led it back to the house. McLean was taken in and cared for by some women there. Morgan told the station hand to go fetch a doctor. Okay which was a drink. So the guy. No a doctor fuck this is bad. So the guy the guy goes off to get a doctor. Okay. But after the man left you at the doctor Morgan started thinking about his plan and he started to think the man he sent to get the doctor would actually bring back the

police. Oh god well yeah. So he jumped on his horse and chased after the man and then shot him. Quick addendum. Change of plans. I'm going to kill you. That guy slowing down. I'm gonna kill you for trying to get a doctor. Wait what? What's happening? New plan. I'm gonna kill you. So he killed the guy and then he went off into the bush. You know he has ideas and sometimes they're not great. Yeah good plans. Back at the station they then discovered another man who had been shot and was laying in the carpenter's shop. His name was John Harriet and he was the son of a well-known family. His leg had been broken by the bullet. McLean was kept at the house and after three days died. Sound effect wasn't fun. I think that's the noise he made when he went. He's dead officially

you heard the noise. Now we know. Oh he's dead. We should name a town that. Nah it's silly. Back at the station they then discovered oh I already knew that. At an inquest later Stockman reported that Morgan called the station two days after the attack to see how McLean was doing. There's no plan. So he just shows up he goes how's the guy how's the guy I shot doing. Sorry what is going on right now. Just check it in. Is he okay. No. Why. You shot him. I'm just checking in. Why are you here. Say hi. I like to say hi to people I shot. Will you give him this card. Hard to find an appropriate one but I found one finally. So you shot a guy. Yeah it's a sign below the sky Bob. He then sat beside McLean's bed for several hours. What. I'm so broken up about this how

to get this happened. If we ever find the mother fucker don't put you in this bed so help me God. Oh fuck imagine how McLean was. Yeah he was like why are you here. No he you know he was just like play it fucking cool. Oh good. Oh good. I was hoping you would come here. I'm okay. What the fuck. Yeah. Oh yeah. Comfort me for sure. Help yourself. Hey what the fuck. Oh a verdict of will for willful murder. What. Willful. Oh at the same time please. Party of police and civilian volunteers. All a party of police. They were searching the area for him and the whole time he was in the he was in the place he committed the crime. Maybe the most genius thing to do. Yeah. Nobody thought he'd go back and sit by the guy's bed. No they were

just like let's hide in the hut. Yeah. A verdict of willful murder was returned against Morgan on June 23rd. The roar. It's already inferred by murder that it's willful. Well. The reward for his capture dead or alive was increased from 500 pounds to 1,000 pounds. Morgan's reputation was surging. A man walked into a bar called the Five Mile Creek near Bogalong. Bogalong. He ordered a cop. You guys get to pick which one's. He ordered a cobbler of brandy. Then he asked for another but the bartender said he'd have to pay for the first to get another. The man then said be careful what you do. I'm Dan Morgan and he took out a pistol. The bartender ran from behind the bar and jumped out the window. Such a great move. Smartest guy in the whole story. It's

probably a door that was closed but still fucking. I mean it's a gun in your face. Jumped out the window and it was on the third story. So. Morgan walked to the window and watched him run off but the bartender just ran around to the back of the building and he crept back in. Oh no he crept back to the window he had jumped out of and saw Morgan's pistol sitting on the window still. So he grabbed it and went back into the bar. There he found Morgan helping himself to a bottle. Strangely Morgan was easily secured at gunpoint and handed over to police. They then determined he was not Morgan but just a fiddler. Get back on the roof. That's amazing. Yeah he was a fiddler. We got him. We got our guy. God damn it. It's just a lying fiddler. Would you like to

hear a tune? No. All one. I love a good hymn. Yeah he was just a fiddler who traveled around playing for a living and he was in prison for a few months for that. He was. He might be the best guy in the store. The fiddler. Go ahead. Here we go. Get ready to get mad. Morgan next hit Yarrabee station. Yeah fuck yeah. He tied up the overseer, two bushmen and a driver. Then he took the keys from the store and helped himself to supplies. Sure. He also gave gin and tobacco to the men he tied up. Here we go. Oh boy. The men had come and more men came in at each one he tied up. Now there were several there and they were starting to get drunk. Sorry. He's tying these men up and then he's getting them drunk and giving them tobacco. Yeah. But they can't use their

hands. Well I'm sure they there's a well they might be able to use their hands. So he tied them up so that they can use their hands. Yeah they can drink. And and they're and he's just letting them get shit-faced and smoke. Right? Yep. It's the Morgan party. Sure. Better than a police party. So now they're drunk and they start to get loud which irritated Morgan. This is a hard dude to predict. Fucking up is down. He's visiting people he's fucking killing. He's getting people drunk while they're tied up and being upset that they're drunk. He told them to shut up but they kept ahead of it. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. It's a fucking drunk.

You with the breast. You're first. He then went and got the station brand. It was a drink. And he put it in the fire. Party's over. And talk about sobering up. You're like, oh you know I'm actually not. I should shut the fuck up. You're totally right. I was just saying to the other guys we should all shut the fuck up. He said that if they kept being loud he would brand their faces. I mean that's product placement. That's marketing. He's a hard guy to party with. Jesus. It suddenly became very quiet. Yeah. And he eventually rode off without branding anyone.

Which is amazing. It's great. Glad. Some station overseers ordered that when Morgan shut up he was to be given whatever he wanted and when he did not come food would be taken out into the bush and left for him. He's Santa? So people are just that in fear that they're just like just leaving food in case he's coming. He's crazy. Yeah they just like just put food out in the woods. He's just dude just ties food to a fucking tree. Stations were 25 to 50 miles apart and had very few employees. There were not many police around to deal with men like Morgan. It was a time when an upset bushman could set the grass on fire and it would bird hundreds of square miles. So it's California. We live in the bush.

So looking at the grand scheme of things giving away some food and supplies was not such a big deal. Those who did give him food supplies definitely fared better than those who didn't. You'd think it'd be the opposite with this dude. He'd be like food the fuck you're giving me food for. Burn up. To people who don't like me you can live. What am I a fucking charity case? Why are you saying I'm fucking fat? It's now today. You're not fat. Fuck Danny Morgan. Fuck it dead. Fat Frank's the fat one. I'm the mad guy. Also my name used to be Fat Frank. Last summer I got into chocolate a bit too much. Then I lost it and I was chubby. Chubby Clark. Then I was getting to everyone drunk, Jerry. Then I was Brandon Bob. I shot Watson in the hand, Jeffries.

Hi Anthony. My specific name. That is my favorite one because it's long as fuck. Morgan went to a cattle station and asked to see the overseer. His wife said he wasn't there. It was just her and the children. Morgan said that was too bad because he'd come all this way to shoot her husband. Oh that's a fucking shame. What time will he back for me to kill him? When do you expect him roughly? Turns out the overseer was a bit too chummy with the police. Morgan then said he wanted a specific amount of money. I want 47 pounds and 38 cents. And a piece of cheese. And the piece of... Not the whole fucking lot. Not a whole thing. I dare you. I'm not an animal. You know, I had a conversation with an ox once. The only

person who ever got me was that ox. God I miss him. Him and the ox are writing letters. Oh oxy. Hope you're fucking well. Look another letter from oxy. It's like he's in a room with me. Oh gosh that's terrible to hear. His spirit will not be broken this ox. Resilient he is. Signed boy. You're my best friend. The woman said there was no money at the station. Morgan did not believe her. So he then asked her to boil some eggs. I love how you're taking a sip there. Just let everyone be like what the fuck? All right eggs. You don't have any money. Put some eggs on. You fucking put some eggs on woman.

Hard boiled. Hard boiled, I'm god damn it. I want egg at soldiers. They don't kill me egg early for nothing. I mean they do. When I'm eating the eggs. When I'm not eating the eggs I'm mad Dan Morgan. But when I got to play the eggs in front of me I'm egg early. Last Monday I was macaroni Michael. Had a fucking beautiful play to macaroni. Fucking delicious. Oh fuck. I mean we have beaten the nickname game. We are flogging the nickname. Flogging it like veal. Puffed up. Said veal flogging Tommy. I'm beating down the nicknames. They can't meet beater of the nickname Nick. Hammer this game into the ground Harry. Don't forget jam jars are only nine dollars. At some point this will get old Oliver.

I'm not a scientist. You can't eat anything but eggs but there's chemicals around stupid. They're clean. They come out of the chicken's asshole. They're pure. That's what makes things pure. Why am I a pirate? I don't know what's happened to you lately. Ever since you've been talking about that ox. Where's my parent? When the eggs were done he looked at them carefully and passed on the ones that had cracks in the shells. I'm so him with hard boiled eggs like that. I know right. Yeah you're just like I don't want the weird ones. Yeah so you have something in common. That's nice to find. Not the only thing. I also have a good ox buddy. Then he made uh then

so he ate the good ones and then he made up a fire until it was huge. He asked the woman again for the money and she said it's not here. So he grabbed her and made her sit on the burning logs. She should have said yes. Was there money there? Nope. He held her until her clothes caught on fire. Then he let her get up and he ran over grabbed a bucket of water and put out her burning clothes. She was very burned. Then he rode off and said he'd be back. I'm coming back. No don't. You're fucking stinky burned ass. That's terrible. Jesus. Well I mean you know he's mad he's mad. Are you devil's advocating lighting a woman on fire? I'm just saying it's okay to have empathy for Matt Dan Morgan as well. He wanted something

and he didn't get it and then some of the eggs were cracked. Yeah I guess she did deserve to be lit on fire. I can't believe you sold me so easy but yeah you're right. What is she doing? I made some good money that's not there. I made some good points. He continued committing crimes and then he turned up at Doodle Kuma Station. The site right? Yeah. Some guy just went what? Doodle Kuma Station? The side of the township of Henty. Not Henty. There Sergeant Smith and a party of police were camped in a tent. Of course. We're waiting on a guy who lives here. I'm Irish too. It was another police party who were looking for Morgan. They put up the tent and were all inside with a candle burning. You guys are leading me on that one I feel like.

The candle caused their shadows to be cast onto the side of the tent so and they screamed we are police. We are police. We're looking for Morgan. We're looking for Morgan. I'm just picturing like in Home Alone when he like makes all the fake people that make it look like his house is full like through the curtain like Michael Jordan's just like on a train rotating around. That did look real though didn't it? Yeah if you're one of the criminals you're like well that guy's moving in a circular pattern over and over again he's for real. With Michael Jordan in there. Okay so. So they're dead for sure. Of course shots were fired into the tent and Smith was hit but they still all ran out and fired their guns into the darkness.

Smith was shot twice and he fainted. He was taken to Doodle Kuma Station and a doctor was summoned and then he died. It's called Doodle? It's D-O-O-D-A-L. Doodle? Yeah Doodle. That's what I'd go with. Doodle. While the patient's dying the doctor's just like what did he do for fun? Did he like skateboarding? What do you think of that? Looks just like him doesn't it? Yeah he's dead. Alright guys. Bring him in here I'm gonna draw him. I'm afraid if I don't draw this patient in the next two to three hours he may well he's dead but I just have something later. It was later determined that Morgan had fired the shots and then he had been waiting around to ambush the police. Even though police were killed by Dan Morgan they were being criticized

for not catching him. The local paper wrote on December 14th 1864 quote last Sunday was another morgan day in the Albury district and while our police are marrying and giving in marriage, dancing, fighting, getting and bestowing broken heads over wedding festivities in town I mean what happened? I mean what happened at this fucking wedding? They like came to his wedding and like had too much they like had sex with the bride. Yeah that no they clearly went to this wedding danced fought and just kicked the shit out of people. Got a good fucking time dad. It's a wedding. They did the limbo. Good call guys you guys were like what's going on? It's the difference between doing these live. You're like who felt that one? All right keep

Power through Gary you got this. So in obtaining notoriety in our police court reports the murder and villain Morgan rules rampant. The paper then listed a long report of what Morgan had been doing on the previous Sunday. Morgan had gone to a camp of a road contractor named Adams in Khyamba. He's Khyamba? That one you're going to pronounce the letter? East. He stuck up the party which included a few Chinese gentlemen. Okay they were all told to strip naked. It sounds like a game show in China. But one didn't understand what he was supposed to do. Well the others were getting naked follow their fucking lead bro. He hesitated and

apparently as quoted in the paper said no savey. Two E's. Also Australian newspapers at the time had the two E'd typewriter. No savey. So Morgan what's happening right now? Do you remember when we did an episode where we talked about how the newspapers had two E's to make fun of Chinese people? Are you here with me? I want to say yeah. Like I told you you could redo a dollop on me at some point. And it'd be 40 minutes in and I'd be like wait fuck you dude. Okay so Morgan shot the Chinese guy in the shoulder. Morgan then made the men cook him some meat and he stayed for a while and had a little dinner. When he left he forced- He was just making people cook for him. He just didn't know how to cook. That's where this came from. Poor little guy. When he left he forced

four of the men who had horses to go with him. They rode to a little billabong. There he held up a couple of buggies pretending like the guys were with him in fellow outlaws. Right okay. And they're naked at this point. I bet they're closer back. Yeah he just got him naked while they cooked and then put their clothes on and then they were a gang. I would always like to see Chinese dick while I eat meat. Can't fault him. I'm the same way. That's why I gave it up. It's good for digestion. All right well get naked and cook me fucking meat. You heard me. Don't say no cookie either. He used the four guys to help him block a road forcing buggies to stop. This had a larger objective

which was to cause the male coach to stop so he could rob it. And while the men sat there waiting for the male coach to come, Morgan talked about all of his misdeeds. He said he had watched Sergeant Smith and his party for five days so that he could be positive he was shooting the right man. Finally the male coach came and he robbed it. There wasn't much there and Morgan then cut the telegraph wire. He went to nearby William Station and took a horse and a saddle. He also said that while he was in the area that he would shoot three specific men quote no matter what risk it cost him. The next day he shot Mr. Mackenzie, Mr. McLaren and Sergeant Carol. Mr. McLaren was said to have always been ready for Morgan but it didn't matter.

That is not true. Who said that was a lie? He was always ready for him. No. Always ready but one day McLaren. And it's a shitty nickname because I'm dead so I can't even use it. In March Morgan held up a station at Mohanga. He as usual put all the men in a room and ordered the overseer Mr. Ram to get some rum. Yep of course. Get him drunk and threaten to brand him. We've learned this one. The rum was passed around and then Morgan asked one of the men to play a concertina he was holding. It's like a accordion. I think he's just lonely.

I really like he maybe just wasn't hugged like he's tying people up making him drink rum and have a party and then he just you know then he wants. I don't want money I want friends. He really does. All right now get naked and cook me meat. There's no arse stick around so you could cook it. The rum was passed around and then Morgan asked one of the men oh right to play the concertina. He did. Now it was a party. Morgan then told the overseer to dance. But at some point I feel like he's gonna get upset with the party again. He watched and applauded once in a while but when the man stopped dancing Morgan raised his pistol and said what's more please you dance very nicely. What? So fucking bored that is like you dance noise one more please. One more dance for daddy.

Just dance for daddy you know. I can't eat meat anymore unless I see a Chinese penis. I like clothes dancing and naked cooking. That's my likes. You ever put a woman on a fire? Who's with me boys? He made Mr. Rand dance until midnight when he was finally allowed to stop. Well that was a good time right? Well it's tomorrow. During this entire robbery he kept talking about the police. He said the Victorian police had been blathering that they would catch him if he crossed the border. Morgan said he would soon show them that they weren't any smarter than the New South Wales police who were frightened of him. He took a horse in supplies in the morning and left. A Beechworth paper said after hearing what

a Morgan had talked about it challenged him to cross the Murray and said if he did he'd be dead within 48 hours. Morgan accepted the challenge. And I think he's gonna be fine. He apparently talked about the challenge a lot and said he would go to Victoria and take quote take the flashness out of the Victorian police and the band people. Yeah they're flashy. They're fucking way too flashy with their little too flashy for my liking. Girl thanks girl. But he was still in New South Wales wreaking havoc. Morgan was also a huge fan of arson. So many passions I mean. Many of the places he robbed were then burned. He spent most of his time in the Albury district

but expanded his business to the coast. He robbed the mail coach between his business. It's a good business model. You know what it's time to break a rope on a little bit and see what see what my business can do. I incorporated last month. I had better for my taxes. It's just way better. He robbed the mail coach between a Kova and Yang repeatedly. Once it had a few Chinese passengers inside. What. There we go. Someone was like mailing Chinese people. I've only got a bit of jerky but get your pants down. And make jerky. While they were being searched for money one of them made a run for it. The man

the man ran dropped on his hands and knees and tried to climb into a hollow lock. It's just. He'll never find me here. Here. This'll be easier for you. He's not Irish. They're all Irish to me. Well Morgan's been raised by Irish people. Yeah but the Chinese guy climbing in the log is I ain't going into this log. That's what he does when he's in there. He's like I'm out of some Irish. Morgan just walked up and shot him in the back. Killed him. Okay for sure. Another one dead. He's starting to not even care anymore about how many people are fucking dying. It's like Terminator. Morgan finally decided to take Victoria upon its challenge. In early April 1865 he crossed

the Murray River and started raiding stations. He stuck up a Mr. McKinnon station on the Little River. He then crossed King River and set fire to barns and the granary of a man named Evans for quote having shot my finger off. Is that true? Yeah he was missing the tip of his finger so apparently it was Evans. So he burned down his barns and his granary. That all seems like fine. That's the most justifiable one I think we've heard. Still fucked up but. But yeah. Yeah. Everyone's on Morgan's side there. Yeah. It's just the tip. Just looking at his finger. Just looking at his finger. I told you we'd get vengeance. Morgan continued robbing many carriers on the road between a Wangaratta and Banella. You're giving up right? Yeah. On the evening of the 8th he arrived

at Pachelba station which was owned by two men McPherson and Rutherford. Morgan rode up and knocked on McPherson's door. McPherson's son opened it and found the bush ranger holding a pistol. He backed the kid up and ordered everyone in the house to come into the room. He lined them up along the wall of the dining room. Oh god. One of the maids said she didn't believe he was serious and refused to stand against the wall quote like a child. What? What does she mean? She doesn't think he's serious? She's probably one of those asshole nurses or maids who's from England and she's like I'm not going to look into words. She's like Mary Poppins. We don't have time. Some of the children have sore throats. Just a spoonful of killer. Bang. Oh fuck. He shot me. Spoonful of sugar.

No I won't do shit. My gut shot. Took that far. Morgan pointed his gun at her and said my young lady do you know who I am? No she replied well I'm Morgan will you take your place? She pouted but decided to look at the wall instead of being murdered. Fun. I'm gonna do it but I'm not gonna like it. Happy about it. Morgan then put two... I still don't believe you. Prove it. Prove that you're threatening me. Morgan then put two guns on the table and sat down. He said he hadn't slept for three nights and wanted to return to New South Wales tomorrow for a long nap. I can't sleep in Victoria. Fuck. And by the way a long nap is sleeping. I'm gonna go sleep. If you're tired you don't go hold up a bunch of people you go sleep.

It goes sleep. I guess I gotta rob this place first. Yeah no it's not like somebody like made an appointment. I'll be pissed if I don't fucking hold them up. I'm fucking exhausted. I gotta be there between three to six on Tuesday. It's been three days I've been doing poppers for three days. It's crazy. You then asked a servant to make him some tea and let her leave the room. After finding out McPherson's wife played piano he asked her to play. Oh boy get ready to play the fucking 1am lady. This is not a normal hostage situation you're dealing with. You get naked make eggs. You play the piano. You get in the fireplace. I'll explain in a minute. Get me some meat. Do you have a little Chinese fella? I made a Chinese fella. Smaller come on. Smaller man. Oh boy. She said certainly Mr. Morgan and he said just call me Morgan. He didn't like being

Mr. He called it. It's got crazy ass rules. The party went on all night. I love that it's a party. And it's not a party. It's not a party. Nobody was there by their own will. It's his party. His party went all night. Are you having a good time? The hostage situation went all night. This is a great fucking party. Are you having a good time? Yes. This is great. Glad we planned this and did it. Right. Morgan chatted the night away and he became Chad like to himself basically. He's fucking a crazy lonely guy who never talks to you. You know when you meet that old lady in a store she starts talking to you and you're like oh god. Yeah like you say how are you to the wrong person. That's who he is. He comes in he's like I never tell you that I was six. No we've just met. How are you doing today. Well I'm a little down honestly. Oh god here we fucking go. You know I've shot nine people and I feel weird. Well I was a boy on a vegetable cart a while ago.

So he became so comfortable that he didn't notice when the maid slipped out. She went straight to Mr. Rutherford's house a quarter a mile away and told him that what was going on. Then she ran back and slipped back into the house. So Morgan never noticed. She must have been freaking the fuck out. Yeah. I wouldn't come back. Nope. I told the dude keep running. Morgan. Well Morgan chatted away. He told them those life story. He was born in Appen. His parents were still living etc. Meanwhile the police. You know mom's always been distant. Now that I think about it. I mean more so than a normal gypsy woman. I had two dads. Gonna write a book about that maybe. Maybe turn it into a terrible TV show at some point. We had a show called My Two Dads. Yeah. It's about a girl. And it's about Morgan. Meanwhile the police are on the way and the locals were surrounding the house with guns

and hiding mind bushes and walls. Morning came. Morgan had a nice breakfast. McPherson offered Morgan some whiskey but he said he rarely drank. You know it's not my thing. I don't like to drink. I just like to make other people do it around me. I'm gonna watch you drink and that's how I get high. But he didn't want to seem rude so he took half a glass. I don't want to be rude. It's 9 AM. I'll have a glass. I don't normally drink but I'll have one. No it's morning so okay. Alright fine. 10.30 somewhere right? We're having the best time. You're going to my best fucking friends. You feel the same way right? We're having the best time. We're all having a really great party. Thanks for coming. Did I ever tell you about my friend Bob the Ox? We did some crazy. Me and the Ox once.

Me and Oxie. Oh look out. Look out ladies. Oxie and Morgan are opponents. Quite the team we were. Oh man. He was quite the Winkow. He would always. He was. You know how to set you up and back off. Because the women love an Ox and they'll come over if you're with one in a bar and they'll go it's that's an Ox and then you can chat them up and Bob will go away. Plus if they like white Russians forget about it. You're talking about the drink or the drink sorry I should be clear which has milk in it. So he finished his glass. Religious man. He finished his glass of whiskey then he went into a bedroom and washed his hands and face and combed his hair. I think he thinks he's a house guest.

Time to look presentable. Well where's my room. While he did this one of the servants brought coffee to all the men surrounding the house outside. Like the servants misguided in this situation. Oh no here you go boys. This is terrific coffee. No it's not Sydney coffee. It's Melbourne. It's open. I think it's so fucking weird about their coffee. One lap or two. One lap or two. How many laps would you pass? I'll have to go get some more sugar. Stay boys. We've got no we've got a lot of time he's combing his hair. It's gonna be a couple hours. What's a latte? Morgan finished grooming himself and stepped out onto the veranda. He told McPherson he wanted

a horse. McPherson and his son walked to get one and a saddle. Morgan started to follow him. At this point the police and volunteers had the place well surrounded. But they were also like so jittery they're like we've had a lot of fun. I've got to eat something my stomach fucking hurts. I've got to shit. Excuse me. He got he got away because we all had to shit from the coffee. Oh fuck there he goes. Everybody's shitting. Get in the tent. Hide. Wait. So any man who had his shot was supposed to take a shot. A station hand named John Wendlin took the first shot from behind a bush hitting Morgan in the back of the shoulder shattering his spine and then passing through his lungs. Jesus that's a good shot. Yeah yeah he fell

and lay on the ground. George Rutherford the other owner approached Morgan as he lay on the ground. I conversed with him after he was shot. He said he did not know me. I asked him if he knew Mr. Warby. He said yes. I asked him if he knew Colby. He said no. I asked him if his real name was Morgan or Moran and he said no. I actually have some other names. Your boys might want to take a seat. Oh right now I'm collapsed lung Larry. I might see the light at the end of the tunnel Tom. My god I feel the cold embrace of death Danny. Uh Morgan then said why did they not give me a chance? Why did they not challenge me? What what what is this? I'm a house guest. Don't you know how killing people works?

You hang out with them for a day or two. You wine and dynam. Then you pull out your gun and you go are you ready? Yeah you let them know. The fuck? Again again I asked him his real name Morgan or Moran and he said no. It's a good question time isn't it? Yeah let's go with yes or no's. For a long time there was a press controversy about what Morgan's real name was. Some believing that it was Moran while others maintained it was Owen but it was Fuller. Morgan was carried inside a shed the corner was called when he arrived he examined Morgan and found an entrance and exit wound. When I first saw him he was in a dying state but quite sensible. Okay I'm dying. Yes. He's going it all up here he really does. Here's a problem.

He said after some time that he was joking. I sound like my friend Bob. I don't know what he's joking about he says he's joking. Are you not really injured? I think it's all a prank I don't know. He keeps saying it he's grabbing his neck it's saying he's joking. Now that I'm hearing it it is kind of funny. Okay that's a good bit. That's a good bit Moran Morgan Owen. Dan Mad Morgan died. The corner it's all slowed down there a little bit.

The corner then had Morgan stripped. I had made him cook. Let's see who's eating meat now. He found a fibrous tumor larger than a pigeon's egg on the back of his head. I found what killed him boys. The size of a pigeon's egg. That's how you measured things back then. It's about two pigeon eggs. That's how you measured all tumors. You want to walk down this street about 450 pigeon eggs. Left about a thousand pigeon eggs. Everyone's Irish in the story. I'm from America we're on the egg chicken egg system. Good luck over here pal.

Yes well done. Call back. Some people don't know what you're talking about because they're not doing their homework. Shit I don't really know. He was searched by Constable Percy. Searched. He found seven five pound notes and 31 one pound notes in a pocket purse with one pound of Sydney notes and a draft for seven pounds. In his swag he found more money in silver over eight pounds. People were brought to identify the body. Thomas Kitt's Kittston settler. I recognize him as the man that stuck me up twice. William Ariel storekeeper. I have seen the deceased man outside. I recognize him as the man who stuck me up at Wallendwell. He took over 35 pounds. Morris Brash Hocker Beechworth. I have seen the deceased man laying

in the shed. Recognize him as the man that robbed me four miles from Wallen Wallen Station. He stuck me up a second time 25 miles from Wagga Wagga. 2000 Pigeon eggs. John Pickering Jackson Carrier Melbourne. Last Friday night the deceased galloped up to me and waved the revolver. Stopped the wagon he said. I stopped it. I want your cash. Cash quick quick. I gave him seven pounds. It goes on like that for fucking pages. Sure yeah. They brought every person he had robbed. He's like is that the guy that robbed you? Yeah. Why am I on a line of 50 people? Yeah. Hasn't he been identified yet? Why everybody? I heard everyone identify him. I have stuff to do. The news about his death was greeted with satisfaction all over Australia.

There were a few who thought it was wrong to not challenge him. Why? Okay. I can't believe he shot him in the back. Unbelievable. He was a good fella in the eye. Died like a criminal. But others said he didn't give notice to McGinnity or Smith or the unarmed men he shot at Round Hill Station. In Victoria they were pretty fucking proud of themselves. They said a push ranger would never receive the kind of support and sympathy in Victoria that Morgan had received in New South Wales. Many said this was because Victoria was never a penal colony. Is that true? I didn't think that was true. You don't know. It is. Let's just say it's true. A scandal followed due to what happened to Morgan's body. His beard was cut off his face

as a souvenir. Cool. And then in front of Gawkers his skin was removed from his face to make a death mask for phrenological analysis. I'm sorry? What? Why did they take his face off? For phrenological analysis. For Halloween? Why? Phrenological analysis. Phrenological analysis. Phrenological. Wait, phrenology? Like to study the contours of it or something? Bumps on your head. Yeah, it's bumps on your head, right? So they cut his face off to study the bumps on his head? Fucking liars, bro. They do things differently in Australia. Well, guess what? You're not gonna be able to tell

shit. You're gonna be like, there's no bumps on his face. I mean, just a couple because there's stones under it. I just, I just like that there were a bunch of people watching while they cut his face off. Yeah. Yeah, the beard guy was like, Suva, oh, that's way better. Why didn't they take the face? Anyone want to trade a beard for a face? I know, I know, I know, I fucked up. Fuck, I got his beard. Some authorities protested because the death mask wasn't created in a controlled medical environment. Yeah, no, you want to go to prose for that. Many people who took took locks of his hair as mementos. His body was sewn into a wool pack and brought to one garata where his head was cut off, where his head was cut off in a cask,

a cask taken of it. Cool. So he wasn't cremated. The head was then sent to the professor of anatomy at the University of Melbourne. Okay, and then what? Then it became a soccer ball? Tobacco pouches were made from his scrotum. Pouches plural? What do you got? What do you got there? You got a Morgan bag? Anyone wants a tobacco from a scrotum? Yeah, it's Morgan's. You know, you know who had a tough time. Who's that? One the ox heard. Dear oxy, I hope this letter finds you well. I've been doing all right, but recently I was shot and I'm dying. I'm not going to make it through this. As a matter of fact, it looks like some people are going to take my face off. But I want you to know, oxy, you complete me. Sincerely, Don Morgan, up the River John, downtown Larry,

across the bank's team. Fucking 55 udders. Others, not udders. Also, white Russians have milk in them. Good fucking joke. There was an inquest held, a jury was taken to the spot where he was shot. They then went to the parlor in the house and the jury returned a verdict of justifiable homicide. The coroner and the police. The coroner was like, what do you want me to do? You've taken every piece. He died from everything. I don't know. What the fuck is this, scrotum? I'd love a rollie. Yeah, yeah, give me that shit. Where'd you get that pouch? Phenomenal. All the hairs on the bottom. Why does it smell like balls in here? That's me. I keep my tobacco in a ball bag.

The police officer in charge didn't think that it was a big deal what had been done to the body, saying, quote, he did not object to the proceedings as he did not look upon Morgan as a human being. Well, I don't think I would at that point either. A scrotum-less, faceless, hairless. I'd be like, I don't know what it is, but it ain't a human. I mean, it is something. Yeah, it's like just like a trunk, like a trunk of a guy. I don't know what it is. God, does he have a lot of areas to store tobacco? I'm gonna turn him into a fucking bond. Fuck it. Cover his mouth. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. That's not his mouth. It's hard to tell because they took the face off.

Well, shit, Dary. There's another one. Trying not to lose this one. Yeah, yeah, great. Well, we all learned a lot there, huh? Well, we would definitely like to thank everybody for attending this event. It means the world today if I'm kind of like, but really, thank you very much. We'll be somewhere signing some stuff. I don't know exactly where, but before we do that, tomorrow is Dave Anthony's birthday. Oh. And so, Craig and Dave got Dave something. And I'm gonna say that I gave this to you too, even though I had zero input on it. But this is from the three of us. So, don't be all weird tomorrow when you're like, what did you get me? And Dave, I've got a good feeling about this one. I hope it's a scrotum. What? It's a scrotum bag. It's a scrotum bag.

For your tobacco. It's a fucking kangaroo scrotum. Kangaroo scrotum for your tobacco. It's a kangaroo scrotum tobacco pouch. What the fuck is happening? I guess his work wasn't done. Oh, Morgan, you really are mad, lad. What the fuck? Who the fuck knows? I mean, one of those things, man, one of those things. Wow. So, happy birthday, David. Thank you. Give it up for Dave Anthony. Thank you. And where should we go to sign you right there? Yeah, okay. So, we don't have any posters. We forgot them. You want to take pictures or have a sign, I think, or just say hello? We'll hang out back there for a little while. And we really thank everybody so much. This tour has been so fucking fun. So, we appreciate the

hell out of it. And then, I wanted to say one last thing. No, no, no. I'm wrapping it up. Thanks so much. You guys, LA Podfest is coming up and you can live stream all the shows. So, go to LA Podfest. You can buy the live stream and you get, I think, five bucks off if you put dollop in the little coupon code. So, go. Go look at the fucking program. There's a lot of really good podcasts. We'll be there tomorrow. Who the fuck knows what that's going to be like? By the end, I'm probably going to be like, it would be so nice to keep going. Sorry, Dave. Uh, thank you! Thank you.