The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 115 - The Past Times with Randy Blythe

Episode Date: March 7, 2025

Dave Anthony picks a newspaper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds. This week they are joined by Lamb of God singer and author Randy Blythe  Redbubble Merch

The dollop is brought to you by Squarespace Dave our friends forever We've we've been using Squarespace forever. We love their websites. They're crisp. They're clean. They're easy to use You know well stuff look we've said this over and over again But if you want to know if we really do like Squarespace go look at any website We're affiliated with and it is Squarespace. Yeah.

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When you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com stressed all up to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. We're going on tour and this is- It's been a while. March, 2025 is when our tour is happening. First of all, we're going to Tempe, Arizona, maybe our favorite city of all time. It's the best. That is on March 16th and then we go to Albuquerque, New Mexico, maybe our favorite city of all time. It's the best. That is on March 16th, and then we go to Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Maybe our favorite city ever. We have never loved a city. Truly the best city we've ever gone to. That's on March 17th, and then we go to Oklahoma City, which is- The best, our favorite, we often say that it's our number one. Yeah, it's our number one, the best city I've ever been to.

That's on March 18th. On March 19th, we're gonna be in Tulsa Oklahoma our favorite city without question and then we head to Dallas Texas on March 20th our favorite city there's never been a better city than Dallas if you don't like it you're a Dal asshole thank you and then we go to Houston Texas on March 23rd the best city which is by far the best city and then we end our tour in Austin Texas on March 22nd at the Cap City Comedy Club. It's the best city. In the entire world.

Number one city. Number one city in the world. You can get tickets at dollarpodcast.com slash tour. All right, everybody. Welcome to the Past Times podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked up by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week. The great, and people were surprised at this crossover.

They were. And I said, Randy Blythe last, Randy Bly. It is, it's me. Randy Bly, The Pulse of Lamb of God, truly one of the greatest shows. You cut off the head, is there a lamb? One of the greatest shows I've ever seen at the forum, also one of the greatest VIP experiences I've ever had.

But right before a song, Randy goes, this one's dedicated to my friend Gareth Reynolds. Oh, holy fuck, it was amazing. Sold out for him, shit. VIP, the backstage was hopping. We had me, your brother, Bill Burr, Mark Manson. It was awesome. And a bunch of Danzig and all these other people.

I didn't get to do the Danzig crowd I missed him. You know, I still believe I could go or I still believe him to not be real. He's for years I would threaten to fight him on Twitter I would just randomly say I'm ready to fight you whenever you want Danzig. I don't know. He never responded I don't think he's aware of he's fuck. Yeah And I think that's for the best. I can't think he's aware of. Cause he's fucking pussy. I don't think he's aware. And I think that's for the best. Well he can't, he's scared. I get it, I get it. Well you're doing it again.

There you go, trying to start a fee between me and Glenn. So, you've got your new book coming out. Yes, February 18th. And that's the day of the book tour too. Yeah, the book launch is in New York. The book launch party is in New York at Arena Powerhouse Books. I'm doing an in conversation with my buddy Alex Skolnick, thrash metal legend. Where do people go to find out the

information for the book tour? Randy Bly.net. And we should say Bly is spelled like Blythe. Yeah, Randy Blythe, B-L-Y-T-H-E. But yeah, and then from there it goes to Philly and ends out in California, March 12th, 13th, and 14th, and it's gonna be... How much do you wanna say about what you're doing on the book tour? We can say whatever. Well, you're working on... You don't wanna just sit there and like read from the book. No, I'm not gonna do that.

So you're trying to come up... You're providing different stories... Than that's in the book. Than that's in the book. Than that's in the book. And I've heard some of the stories and they are, the fact that they're not in the book must be, it really says a lot about the book, but the fucking story he sent me is so amazing. I mean, honestly, I was with Luke, we were in the van listening to it and we like stopped to go to like a Hy-Vee to get some food. Luke got deviled eggs and it was disgusting. But we were, I mean, we were just silent. We were just silent and I every now and then would like throw out an idea

because the story is so fucking great. I'm glad you enjoyed it. And there's, you get an extra finger in the story, let's just say. Yeah, yeah, there's an extra finger involved. Extra finger involved. It's all good. What do you think of that, tough guy? Still gonna fight Danzig? I didn't think so.

Yeah, I'll fight Danzig. Stop it. Anytime he's ready. Stop it, stop it. I've been literally saying this for 10 years. Stop it. Danzig, wherever, whenever. Well, you told me a story about Danzig,

like he found a cat under the tour bus. Yeah. It's the, his bass player told me about it. But yeah, Glenn is really into cats. And he like found a cat under the bus and then that cat was his on the road. Well, yeah, he rescued it. He, he's very road cat. That's a classic. That's a old trope. Road cat. This is my road cat here. Glenn's a good dude though. We auctioned off a portrait I took of him

for hurricane relief a while ago after the things hit Asheville. Yeah. So, it was good. And you guys are getting aid from that. We here in California, we got aid. We're not getting anything. Yeah, you guys aren't getting anything.

We gotta make some changes. You do. He's got notes. Yeah. Well, thanks for joining us. Of course. And truly, that show at the Forum was fucking awesome. I was so happy you could come.

Yeah. Can we put the camera on Randy here for a sec? Why? Why is Bill Burr the only guy with his podcast advertised in this studio? Oh, don't. I don't know, Bill, hi. Well, you wanna know?

You wanna know? Do you want me to, like, message him? You might be able to get Bill on our podcast easier than the company that we work, Bill's company that we work. I mean, I've known Bill for 20 years, I should be able to get him on. Bill, Bill, no, yeah, I've discussed you with Bill. He's a great avoider.

Yeah, I'll ask my drummer to be like. Follows me on Instagram, that happens. If I make it happen, you can get me on Marin. I really don't think you'll have an issue getting on. I can get you on Marin. Really? Yeah, I can get you on Marin. He's actually here.

You want to do it now instead of this? Marin's here. I would love to meet him and send him my book, dude. Oh, dude, I guarantee you. I would love to do it. Yes, I guarantee you he'll... Let me text him. He is the best. And's great about Maron's show

I get it the best like you get a lot of do you find this do you get a lot of mugs and hoodies? You know what I did. You know what I did for Christmas for Lisa Your lovely Lisa. I am lovely Lisa. It's her birthday today. Happy birthday And Lydia I sent I ordered one of the mugs the Marin mugs. Yes, they're the best It was like 110 dollars Holy shit, but they're handmade you get it for free and that's what I'm hoping I'll get that mug is the best cuz it podcasts You do a lot of podcasts. You get a lot of mugs comedy You got a lot of hoodies like stand-up or whatever shows that are always giving you hoodies

But the Marin mug rises above all other Mug that was her Christmas present good well now you get one for free I think the best mug is the the cat hang in there Well, it's similar to Marin's mug, but a little more artistic Cat classic I had I had I had cats Have I've had three cats in my life all? cats I've had three cats in my life all Gone and but now I have dogs because I have a son and dogs are better for young boys cats

Sounds really weird No, it's totally no, it's not a study. It's not a study all of it You can't go outside and play fetch with the fucking absolutely you're out of your fucking This is the craziest shit that's ever happened. One time I put two and a half on a boomerang, that cat. All right. All right, Randy, look, we're gonna do the premise of the show now. Let's do the premise.

Do you want to guess what year you think this is from? Now that you're, again, the good news is no matter what year you guess, Dave will say that you're closer than I am, because Dave has like some. No, there's always a reason. I thought about this last night. Okay. No matter what you you guess Dave will say that you're closer than I am because Dave has like no there's always a reason About this last night, okay

January 20th 1925 Wow That is that's no joke. I will say that I think it's the first time I think I've lost before I guess yeah You totally lost January 20th 1924. I'll say I'm gonna price is right over a hundred years ago I'm gonna go January 21st 1925. I'll say, I'm gonna price this right in. A little over 100 years ago. I'm gonna go January 21st, 1925. I'm gonna do what I can. Randy's closer.

It is April 4th, 1927. Damn dude, you were fucking right there. So we're still in the roaring 20s. Yeah, things are. Things are about to roar up. I would guess, what would we do? And then if you know anything, you know about history. Oh God, big fan.

From learning from him. Big fan. You know what happened after the roaring 20s, right? We had the meowing 30s. It was all good. Everything was great. So we started eating cats. Yeah, it's probably not gonna happen again.

They're eating cats! You shouldn't say that. I feel like you might wanna retire that just cause he's a monster. Who? Trump. How long until he's a monster. Who? Trump. How long until he eats a cat on stage? It's his poser.

It's like Gallagher's watermelon. I like, I like- All right, before I get out of here, we found this one. Den Glanzig sent this one to us. This is a Den Glanzig one. I love being in the group of people who don't like any of them. There's people like, I hate Trump. Oh, you Democrat?

Nope, hate them too. That's the best. That's the best. That's my favorite. We were talking about how when you post, like when Elon did a Nazi salute and you post whatever it is about it and you get all his little sick of fans going,

dude, he was saying my heart goes out to you, you know, and you're just like, how the fuck did you end up here? And then they're like, well, I guess you're sad Biden's gone. Cry laughing emoji, he's not coming back. And you're like, I don't like him. I don't like, don't know. I don't care for him.

I don't like any of him. Aaron has a picture of him in Danzig. Whoa, I love that he's sending that. I have many pictures of me in England. It's great, too. I love it. Put it up on the Go ahead and all right GD yeah, shout out to GD. Yeah, our man. All right never it's a

This is the Honolulu star advertiser. Honolulu star. Yeah, I thought you know, you're a surfer April 4th 1927 Submarine Rams bridge Causeway on trial cruise. Submarine, oh, hit a, submarine hit a cruise. Hit a bridge. Hit a bridge. How is, that's like against the model. Well, sometimes a bridge will move.

You're blaming this on the bridge? Gotta be the bridge. I think this is a submarine crash. Or the submarine's maybe not even fully submerged. I think it's, I think they came up, they were like. Maybe they were looking with the periscope, like trying to. Maybe they hate the bridge.

What was that thing? Maybe the bridge is one of those ones that it's up and then it just slams down. Are you forgetting what a drawbridge is? This happened in Vallejo, California. The submarine S-17, not a good name. I was gonna say, it's a little U-boaty right there. Yeah, call it whatever, Frank.

Give it a name. Maybe it's mad, that's why it hit the bridge. See, S-17, yeah, there's a hunting down the bridge. I have that, nine, nine, the bridge, the bridge, nine. We're not there yet, 1927. So this could be a trail. It's coming though, it's coming. It's a traitor submarine. The submarine S-17 on a practice run on the surface today crashed into the causeway supporting

the Mark Island drawbridge. Mayor, sorry, Mayor. So it was a drawbridge. Yes. So you're right. So did the bridge hit the submarine? You should know. No members of the crew were injured.

The S-17, a new large type, so it's a big boy. And I love when they're using the military terms. A new large type. A new large one. Has recently been overhauled and was being tested to rejoining the fleet. As the underwater craft approached the Merrill Island Bridge, the draw failed to rise. And attempts to stop the ship by reversing his engine failed you can't yeah you can't turn on a submarine no yeah there's no brakes no

well I still think couldn't they just be like let's go under they have another card to play they're not a bow they could maybe they can't dive that fat maybe they weren't ready maybe this probably guys all over the deck you know waving and shit that's what I do on my sub. Let him kick him off. See, bridge? See, there he is. Nice bridge. Yeah. Was that a booze cruise? It might, well how do you know?

It could be a booze cruise. It was a surface cruise. I like, I like. I mean, it's a celebratory, we just, we're taking out for the first time cruise, so it's a booze cruise. All right, all right. I mean, I would say get your head in the game, but.

Yeah, the whole bottom of the sub, everyone's just fucking and drinking, the whole time. Playing Dungeons and Dragons. Playing Dungeons and Dragons. I love how that is where, you're the rock star and you're the one throwing in Dungeons and Dragons for the fuck drug party. I agree. Randy.

Have you ever met any Sub Mariners? I mean, usually people don't pronounce it like that, so no. I'm trying to, my brain's trying to figure it out. They don't? Subs, are you talking about subs, subs? Sub Mariners, people who serve on the submarine. My brain's trying to figure it out. Uh, they don't subs. Uh, are you talking about subs? Subs mariners, people who serve.

Oh yeah. You're, you're, you're living in Virginia for all that time. So, you know, you're all about sailors and some, yeah, all the time. Yeah. They will. They, they, well, in California, we don't say submariners. We say ship guys. Yeah.

Ship guys. Yeah. We say underwater boaters. We say ship guys. Yeah ship guys. Yeah, we say underwater boaters We called them growing up because the world's largest naval base, you know, they maybe guys come up with the submariners Gets weird down there. I thought that but we called them bubble heads because they're like they were just under but they come out from underwater You know two months. Oh, yeah And it's a little weird. Yeah.

Well, you, you got it. It's like, it's like when you come off tour, your brain's like, no, it's the same. It's, but you're still able to like go to like a tree if you want, like to, to have no choice, but to be down there like that. Like I was, I was real high on a plane once and I did start going. Is that the only time? No. And I was really going like like I can't get off

it's like started to fuck with me a little bit I'm in this yeah we're really up but I can't do anything about it you're realizing your utter lack of control the limitations yes and so I would imagine on a submarine you know it's probably one of those things you think that when that when you shit your pants were you the one that shit your pants on the plane? Well, the good news about this podcast is we both shit our pants on a plane before. On a plane?

Yeah. It's on my album, yeah. I shit my pants. My experience was crazy. I shit my pants once and then also was too high, but they're separate stories. I did, when I was too high on the plane, I did also take my boxers off,

but that was just because my head started playing tricks on me and said, go to the bathroom and get your boxers off. But Dave, just because my head started playing tricks on me and said go to the bathroom And get your boxers off, but Dave Dave was with Drew Carey when he should I was on a ship I was on a plane going to Disneyland with Drew Carey. Oh, yeah You're paying isn't that you've got a shit going to that's like the star experience because you're the front of every line It's great. Yeah But yeah, I was a Drew, and we were going to the Netherlands straight from the World Cup,

the World Cup game ending, we all went straight to the plane, that means there's a bunch of drunk Dutch people on there, and they'll have to use the bathroom, and I'll also have to use the bathroom, so standing in line for the bathroom, I slowly shit my pants. Good. Slowly, yeah.

I only shit my pants once as an adult. Stop, I see this, I don't believe. Only once. I would like to, I wish I could say only once on the Peloton. Only once, and it was hot, it was in the summer. Me and my ex were out with another couple and they were house shopping.

So we were like, oh, let's go look at houses with them. And it was in like August and I was drinking a Starbucks iced mocha. You're about to make it. And we were going to different houses and none of the houses had running water because they were for sale. Oh, I love how bad.

The water was so, I'm like, I gotta take a shit. So finally I was like, honey, they'll give you a ride home. I gotta go home. So I'm riding home, riding in my old, it was a cop car, a buddy of mine had told me, and I'm riding home and I'm like cramping up at traffic lights but still doing the stupid thing and taping sips, taking sips of this coffee. Like an idiot. Yeah. And it was hot and I made it all the way up to the front steps of the house. I got my key into the door and turned the door

and it just exploded. And I was wearing shorts, cut off, camouflaged shorts. Beautiful. Looks like you're doing extra camo. So I held it. So the coffee was coming down. Yeah, I was holding them at the bottom and I ran into the bathroom, right?

And I took him down. The cinch is good, yeah. And somehow when I released the pants, I don't know what happened, shit went everywhere. Oh, I thought you were gonna say you handled them well. It went everywhere. And then I sat down on the toilet. For what?

And I cried. I started crying. I was like, oh my God, oh my God. Man. And then. That is a traumatic one. And then I got up, I took my pants off, there was shit all over the toilet lid.

I ran out, I grabbed some paper towels, and I ran into the house and wiped up the little bit that I had trapped in. While weeping. Yeah, I was still crying. And then I came in and then my ex came home and she was like, what's going on in there? And I'm like, nothing, leave me alone.

She's like, did you shit your pants? And I'm like, oh God! There's shorts, first of all. There's shorts. I don't know why it made. I wish they were pants. I burst into tears. We burst into a lot.

See, that is, to me, is wild because I was having this conversation. I was sober too, that sucked, to me, is wild because I was having this conversation. I was sober too. That sucked. That does suck. I was having this conversation with a club manager and she was like, I've shit my pants once as an adult and I was like, men just shit their pants. We just shit more. Yeah, we do. But you've only done once.

Like, I would say two to three times a year, I... Women pee their pants more as they get older. I pee women's pants, which I'm legally not allowed to do anymore. How did we get to shitting our pants from the submarine? You're down there, you're shitting your pants. Yeah.

Shitting your pants. Yes. Uh, as the underwater craft approached the Merrill Island bridge, the drawbridge failed the rise and attempts to stop the ship. Revisiting engines failed. The S-17 veered sharply and crashed the bridge because the submarine is still pinioned beneath

the draw. Oh, it's stuck. Damage to the vessel cannot be estimated. Although it is believed the wreckage will be slight, the bridge was damaged to the extent of $10,000. If the bridge was damaged at $10,000, then the submarine was way worse.

Yeah. Well, we can't tell because they're now merged. They're pinioned. Yeah. And right. That's the medical term. The pinioned is very good. I haven't used that in quite some time.

I pinioned my pants on a flight one. Pinyoned. I was stuck with the toilet. I could assess the damage. You will. So that is a, that is the first story in the Honolulu papers about a California drawbridge submarine. Yeah, it looks like a lot of these are not local.

But I guess $10,000 back then, it's like the Baltimore Bridge kinda. Yeah. I guess. Why does it keep doing this? I'm having issues here. What's going on? It just keeps, when I tell it to back up,

it's going haywire It's like that's what they were trying to do on the submarine they're like back it up I could have back it up back it up reverse back it up didn't work Have you tried talking here's a here's a headline fists flailing rocks fill air in a bombardment of flying rocks staged by Magalito Armstead at King Street and Deschelene yesterday afternoon. Four persons were injured among them, a Japanese girl who was sent to Queens hospital with a

fractured right ankle. Where is this? This is in, in Honolulu. Oh, in Honolulu. According to captain of Police, Poa in Amstead and Tirado, Brasilo were engaged in a fistic encounter. Fistic and rocking. Yeah.

They're fighting, they're fist fighting on the street. Right, it seemed as if they had the Aloha spirit. Yeah, not the Aloha spirit. Shortly after one o'clock yesterday afternoon, when Amstead discovered that he was getting the worst of the battle, Shortly after one o'clock yesterday afternoon, when Amstead discovered that he was getting the worst of the battle, he broke away and ran to a nearby rock pile. You used what's around you.

It's a convenient. I think that's right. You used what's there. I think that's right. I think we're all saying that that's right. That's right. That's right, that's what you do. You're getting your ass kicked.

You're like, what do I have? Yeah, well it's a rock. Rocks. The nearby rock pile. A rock pile is perfect. Now this Japanese girl Walking I don't care for her involvement to be quite honest with you in short order The air was filled with flying rocks and Amstad apparently was not particular who was on the receiving end You see there's a little this guy was fast. The air was filled. He's just throwing The air, see this guy was fast. The air was filled. He's just throwing rock over rock.

It's also, that's what you would rather read in the paper than the sort of, it's a little too poetic for a rock fight. Yeah, no, they're using the wrong. Like the language is a little too. It should be fist fight, not fist dig. Yeah, you should just be like, so then this guy runs over to a pile of rocks and he starts throwing it at the guy.

You're not like. And he's hitting everybody, he doesn't care. Unfaithful in his fist, he headed towards the pebble pile. That's right. Basile was the first victim of the bombardment. He was treated at the emergency hospital for a deep cut on the forehead and abrasions about the body. Okay, so he took a few.

He got fucked up way more than the Japanese guy. He was the guy that he was aiming at, so he should have taken the most. Well, yeah, but still. He lost when it was in the pugilist stage. Right. Yeah. And then he took it to missiles. And then it was different. Which is. And then shit changed. Yeah. That's right. And then he's just like

being in Japanese chicks. Yeah. With rocks. Well listen, I mean, she was walking by. She's walking by. She had a comment. Right in the ankle. Right. El Klohiya, an interested spectator, was treated for a deep cut on the chin. So he was just kind of a boosh right in the chest. Well, I don't know why we the Japanese is it because she's a child that we led with her because there's facial.

Yes, it's because she's a child like sick at age being what an injury defied. You know what I mean? It's like, no, kids get hurt. Oh, I'm the crazy guy. All right. Uh, Jalican Fragnar. These are not Hawaiian sounding names to me. But Hawaii, Hawaii, this is Lord of the Rocks. A massive mix of, first it was the Portuguese, then the Japanese, there's been a whole bunch of people. Jalican or Jalican, Fragnar, another spectator, was struck on the forehead and also was in the middle of surgical treatment.

This guy's hitting a lot of faces. Yeah, he's doing pretty good. There's two things that going on here. He's hitting a lot of faces, but also do people not know how to move their fucking heads? Like there's a rock coming at you. If you will remember, it's there's a rock coming out if you will remember It's not just a rock coming at you. It's said the air was filled with rock But he's really it was like a meteor shower

Even maybe has giant hands and he's picking up scoops. You just throw them. I think what's rock start coming It's it's pretty bad. Like it doesn't need to be a shitload. If it's like three rocks are in the air, that's bad. Okay. Konio Tanaka employed as a waitress in a nearby restaurant stepped out of a place of business Uh huh. So she... to watch the offray just in time to receive a heavy rock on her right ankle and fell to the pavement. Okay, so she's not a girl. She's a waitress. They made it sound like she was a child. You can't be a girl and a waitress. She's a waitress. She's a they made it sound like she was a child a girl and a way

She's a waitress. Yeah, they were making her sound like a child. They were a child. I don't think this is a child Yeah, and she got ankle shot it so that's gonna be of all of them is the pinion on the rock Yeah, no, well, yeah the ankle no that good that hurts That she fell to the pavement the girl was given first aid at the emergency hospital and then sent to Queens hospital at this stage of the proceeding spectators lost interest. Well, the Japanese chick is out. All right. We're done.

I'm surfing. That's all. Yeah. Boring. Boring. Sub hits a bridge. Dude, it's three to four out back at the bay. We're going surfing. He's getting low on rocks. Let's three to four out back at the bay. We're going server.

He's getting low on rocks. Let's get out of here. They lost interest. Yeah, it is strange. Olmstead kept up his hurley of rocks until police officer Sam Akella broke through the barrage and placed him under arrest. I would definitely not have left.

Like everybody left and he's just angry throwing rocks at nothing at this point. I'm not saying I'm glad the cops show up to something. You are. definitely not have left. Like everybody left and he's just angry throwing rocks at nothing at this point. I'm not saying I'm glad the cops show up to something, but you, shut up, but you still hang around for, you know what I mean? You're like, this plot got a little thicker. Yeah.

Daddy's home. Daddy's home. Daddy's home. Daddy's home's a bad idea. That's what they should say too, by the way, before they break down a door illegally without a warrant. Daddy's home! before they break down a door illegally without a warrant. Daddy's home!

I mean, what was that Archie Bunker? Yes, that was Archie Bunker. He would come home. Daddy's home? No, he wouldn't say daddy's home. What would he say? I'm gonna be racist! Hey meathead!

I'm gonna sit in that chair and be a little racist! Yo, eat it. I think he came in and he said, ah, fuck, cunt. You know, the crazy thing is if you look at how old that actor was. How old was, he wasn't that old. He wasn't old at all. Because he still had In the Heat of the Night to do.

Yeah, he was in like his 40s or something. 40s back then was so different. Yeah, oh yeah, they were much older looking. Yeah. Like high school students. He was like 31. Like mustaches and shit. Yeah, bald, like they get out of high school,

they're like, well that's it, I'm in the factory. Straight to the factory, you look 40. This is the face that Cole built. Yeah. The dollop is brought to you by Squarespace. Oh Dave. Of course, our friends forever. We've been using Squarespace forever.

We love their websites. They're crisp, they're clean, they're easy to use. You don't have to update stuff. Look, we've said this over and over again, but if you wanna know if we really do like Squarespace, go look at any website we're affiliated with and it is Squarespace. Yeah. Look, they have flexible payments.

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If they want divorces, let them have them. Ah, here we go. Oh, fuck. I disagree. Wow. And we're gonna get rid of divorces here in America. Oh, fuck. This is Reno, Nevada. Not for He, fuck. This is Reno, Nevada.

Not for Hexeth. Out of Reno, Nevada. Okay. The people know what they want. Why not give it to them? Governor Fred Balzar said today in asserting that he is thoroughly in sympathy with the new law, which makes Nevada the easiest state in the matter of divorce. That's careful. Cause it sounded like Nevada, like, well, you got to think they're going from

Vegas and then they're like an hour and a half away. Like, this is not working. This is not working out. So we should probably undo this in Reno. Come to Prim. But they're like. Number one for abortions. Like each city in Vegas is just there to undo the snake.

Welcome to Prim, number one in HIV testing. That's right. That this like going to Vegas to get divorced. Okay. But going to Reno, man, it's sad. That's a sad marriage. Reno is the saddest town in America. It's, it's somehow worse than Atlantic City. There is no question that Nevada is the worst state to drive through in my, it's Arizona, but I would say it's Nevada. I still think it's Texas. Yeah, but you get some good, it's so big that you get it all. But that, go on from west.

It's a time suck. Oh. But Nevada is where you're like, Nevada's not great. We should try to sell it. We should try to trade it for Greenland. Okay. That's what we should be going for. The biggest little city in the world or something. Yeah, the first time I went there I was out squatting on the west coast And a friend of mine from the east coast I had met on the streets was like Do you want to get the fuck out of here? And I was like, yes

So we got in a van that a friend of his had, it had no gas cap. Sure. So we put it- By the way, those are recommended. We put a sock in it so it looked like a Molotov cocktail. Yeah, I was just gonna say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we were like, spare changed our way back, but one of our first stops was in Reno and we took acid there. Sure. That's a terrible bunch to do. And it was a horrifying experience. Yeah, that's a really bad place. It was- That is. That sounds like a sentence. It was really not good. Yeah, it's a really bad place. It was, it was. It is. That sounds like a sentence.

It was really not good. Versus a choice. It's the opposite of being like, you should go out in the forest and take acid. This is like not what you do. Well, even, I've done mushrooms in Vegas and even that is not a great idea. That's not good. But eventually you're like, these poor people. Yeah, the Vegas is a terrible place.

Like someone's just at a slot machine and you're like, man, go find a home. Yeah, that was the thing about, oh my God, fear of living in Las Vegas was that I just wouldn't want to be that high in Vegas ever. But Reno is even worse. Well, Reno's terrible. Reno's awful. Like a cloud settles over Mythopolis.

What's crazy about Reno is if you go there on like excited to work there Christmas week as a stand-up once and Not all these Japanese people come because it's not a Japanese holiday So they know they just take over the casinos, right? And so just the way we do is you throw rocks of their way. Yeah, I did I always do yeah, did you get lots of yucks from Japanese? I mean, it's huge in Japan. I'm big. Yeah, I'm a really big Okay back to this the last session of the legislature reduced the time of Residents for divorce seekers in Nevada from six months to three months

Great divorces should be granted in a month if it is found that the people want them in much short time, the governor said. It's all a question of public taste. And just now that seems to be swinging toward easy divorces. I can't believe this is still going on in 1927. I thought it would have been already. I'm not surprised. So this was the beginning of the breakdown of the nuclear family.

Thank God. That's right. Right there. That's right. In Nevada. Well, the whole West was like, you know, divorce colonies, like it was what it was called. Divorce colonies. Yeah, they were divorce colonies. So you would, especially earlier, you would have to go to

like a place to get a divorce. So these Western cities like made like. That was their, the call. That was their thing. Like we're a place where you can get a divorce. So then people would have to go live there for six months and spend money. And really? Yeah. Oh, so you would have to have residency to get now. See that's a, that's a movie. That would be a movie. That is. So got to live together.

And Nevada, instead of everybody moving there to avoid paying income tax, like everybody from California, it was moved there. Yeah. It was moved there. Yeah. It was everybody going there to avoid paying their wife anymore. Well, I mean, it would also be like the arguments in that state. It would be like, it's a state of people who just want to get divorced. Yeah.

Move there. So just be like, I told you. I guess the couples have to move there. Can you imagine? Yeah. Like a neighbor. How shady that would be. you've just had it. Yeah.

With your wife. Yeah. You're like, let's go to fucking Reno. Trying to find the apartment together. I think you probably have to live together. Yes. We have to live in a little house. These closets are nice.

Shut the fuck up. In Reno. Who gives a fuck about your closets. For six months. Fucking Reno. I like this tub. Well, I fucking hate it, Jack. Shut up, Sheila.

So do you guys wanna sign the lease? Shut the fuck up! She's doing my head in again. I'll be in the car, sign whatever. He does this all the time. This is why I can't stick around with a guy like this. You think he's gonna commit to a lease? This guy can't do anything for three months.

I can fucking hear you! Do you know what's great is I I just explained Divorce Colonies to Gareth even though we did a whole episode on them. Oh. I remember. By the way, we're going to do shit, we're going to start to do in certain places. If we add a show, we're going to start to go, Dave is going to pick an old script that we did years ago and we're gonna redo it and both be like, what the fuck? Like, because we've done so many, so it's not just me. It's me.

That's right. It's all me. I don't remember anything. Okay, well that would. US boasts one lonely billionaire. Ah. Only one? Yeah.

Ah. There are 207 persons in the US with annual incomes of one million, seven with annual incomes of five million, and there's one billionaire. It is sad. So sad. It's sad, not sad for the billionaire, but it's like we could have just- Kept it there? Yeah, we could have beheaded him and then been like, here's the lesson.

That's what happens to you guys. So let's not do that anymore. That's a money hoarder and that's a big problem for us. It doesn't say who it is. It's also crazy in that year to be a billionaire. Yes. Well, no, 27, like it's massive. Yeah.

No, no. Well, only because we're, we're about to go through, you know, but there are there are quality. But but even then, it's like there are. But there are there are still the guys that's right, like a trillion. The Carnegie's and the guys who are just way out front. Yeah. But even then, I mean, that is a lot of money in twenty seven. Yeah. I mean, that's that's money in 27. Uh, yeah

That's like what Musk is about to be well, but I think really but like I said I think he's gonna hit some hard times coming ahead. I don't agree. I Think good times ahead for Elon and I support him. He really stepped in it in Europe. He stepped in it Europeans don't like they don't like that. No cuz they went through it. It didn't work that. No, because they went through it. It didn't work out well. We'd like to learn that. What are you talking about? It was great. We'd like to learn their lessons here. RF Burn, a resident of the Dowsett track, was treated at the emergency hospital last night for cuts over the right eye and under the chin. Rocks. Rocks. Fists. Oh, fists. Right? Sure. Rocks. I don't know. I mean, you just said rocks are flying through the air in Honolulu all the time. I mean, I have. It was one thing. It was a bunch of rocks.

He could have quite an arm. According to officer Isaac, Isaacs, Bern collided with. Isaac Isaacs? No, Alvin Isaacs. Sorry. He's awesome. According to officer Alvin Isaacs, Bern collided with. Isaac Isaacs? No, Alvin Isaacs, sorry. He's awesome. According to officer Alvin Isaacs, Byrne collided with a telephone pole on Dowsett Avenue near his home. Oh, so he ran into a pole. I'm hoping that he wasn't driving. I'm hoping he just ran into a pole.

Or surfing. Surfing. Surfing. They put, you know, back then they had poles on. Whoa. Back then they had poles on. By the way, that would be a better business model. What we have now. When neighbors came to Burns

assistant, he made several wild swings. And so he's just made me by the pole, boy. I love this guy. I help you. Fuck you. Paul came and me.

We're going to finish this. Me and the pole. It's my pole. The pole came at me. We're gonna finish this, me and the pole. Street justice, boy. Here we go. It's a Jason Statham character. He made several out swings, which failed to connect, but which resulted in his falling to the pavement several times. So is he a shit face? Yes. Okay, he is.

Causing several injuries. Okay, alright, that makes a lot more sense. After being treated at the emergency. I don't like the way this guy fucking looked at me. You got a problem, Wireman? That's a pole. I'll tell you, I don't care where he's from. Adam, I'm German, you don't see me acting like that.

What you standing up so straight for, boy? I don't like that. You think you're better than me? What, just because he's tall and made of wood? You lost? He got me pretty good. Hey, you're all right, Pole. I misjudged you.

Shake. Put it there, Pole. Now you don't want to shake. Oh, wait, wait, wait. We got a big, tough guy all of a sudden again, Jesus Christ. There, he goes at him again. Come here, you. I'm splendid. You're Christ. It goes at him again. Come here you. I'm splendid. I love Paul. I love you.

You're my little Paul Paul. Oh my God. After being treated, he was locked up for the night. Why? Well. That makes sense. What happened? He had to go night night.

The Paul's there on the other end of the phone. Hey Paul. I know we lost it a little bit last night. Pole fighter. The pole's there on the other end of the phone. Hey Pole, I know we lost it a little bit last night. Say something. I'm downtown Pole. Pole, I need you. But you're my one call. Who do you want your one call to be? The telephone pole. The telephone pole. This shouldn't be a hard one to connect. Which part? gay time on random, say the students I've had that, I had a real gay time on random I think it's a ship

It might be the sub. Ramdam Ram, randam, rindam maybe, RYN Gay time. On the randam. Gay time on the randam. Gay time on the randam maybe. Gay on the ray, that's what I'd call it. That'd be the e-vite.

We're getting gay on the Ray annually. This is a United News story out of Paris. Of course, gay Paris. Gay Paris. Pedding their way around the world, some of the students on the SS. Yeah, pedding. Rangdam, first co-educational floating university in history.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, float. Coed float, yeah. Coed floating you? Fuck boat. That's right. Holy shit. This is a fuck. Now that should be hitting a bridge. No, they made a fucking floating university

for rich kids and they fingered and fucked across the. It's great. It's like the. I don't know and they they they fingered and fucked across the it's great it's like the I don't like he led with fingered finger finger boat we have the fuckfairy fuckfairy take sometimes in Europe you guys go on the fuckfairy yes and what is it exactly the fuckfairy goes from Sweden to Finland and it's just. And what it is is, because we have buses and all this shit, and you put the buses on there. Oh, so, right, okay. It's all these cabins, but

Swedish, young Swedish people, and young Finnish people will be like, oh, let's just take the ferry over to Sweden. And bang the whole way? And then back, and they just get completely fucking shit- bang the whole way and and then back and they just get completely Fucking shit-faced. Yeah the whole time. Yeah, and there's lots of hooking up. There's just vomit everywhere. You get a cabin That's awesome, you know, but we call it the fuck fairy How long is the ride? It's it's like 24 hours. Oh

Yeah, like yeah, so there's time for fucking. Yeah, yeah. But they have like, it depends on what time of the year you're going as well and whether it's a week or weekend because sometimes it's old people. I like old, I love old stuff. And then like, they have like bars and lounges. Yeah. With the hoompa bands and stuff.

Yeah. Old Swedish people dancing. I love to bang to like polka or like some tuba stuff. Yeah, that's great. Boy, that would be. If you get a tuba out, I'm hard. That would, I think you're saying something different. The fuck fairy's a lot of fun though.

I like the sound of it. This sounds like a proto fuck fairy. Yeah. Well, I like that this is a school, this is a college. It's an educational. It's an educational fuck fairy. Fuck fairy kill kill who would you They pointed out that the pastime is not unknown even in old-fashioned dry land colleges so they're saying

They're saying people are banging on boat Is not nautical Like not a water a cool activity. It's not exclusive to boats. Right. You gotta love. Students have sex.

Yes. You're telling me people have sex on dry land? Yeah, well, it's- Dry land universities, like, we've forgotten what, like we're in water world, like, tell us about the dry land universities, papa. I've never, I've never had sex on dry land. I haven't either.

I haven't either. Yeah, I have no idea. No, but I'm finished. This is fascinating. There was a certain- History is fucking awesome. It is. There was a certain amount of necking on board,

but no more than I saw at the University of Colorado last year. Who's this guy like on there like, well, there's a little bit of, they're dry humping, but that's not enough. That said George T. McClure of Boulder, Colorado, a junior. Junior. The students received mail in Perry.

I bet some of them did. Which caused them to face their landing in New York with some apprehension. Yeah, you don't wanna get off. So they knew that everyone knew it was a fuck-fair. Parents have heard that they're on the fuck-fair. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. They're on the fuck fair. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. They learn in newspaper clippings and letters

of petting parties and highly charged cocktail parties. That is awesome. Petting parties. From Cologne to Constantinople. What the fuck? I love how they're like. That's like a lyric. I know, that.

From Cologne to Constantinople. Heavy petting is great. Petting parties. Also the confusion of like, did you get off? Like, no, we're at sea. No. No. Did you finish?

No, I'm Swedish. From the co-ed side, there was a denial of any wild parties or unusual necking, although it was admitted that the college rule of going to bed at nine o'clock was broken with fairly regular consistency by those who sought firsthand-hand knowledge of astronomy. Uh-huh.

I mean, there's no doubt. Astronomy. I wanna look at the stars. Oh, and I'm bringing my finger. And you with this finger. It's a finger boat. Let it go. It is.

Finger boat. Finger boat. The finger boat. There it was. Sounds like something they serve at like an English cocktail About have a bit of finger boat. It's like an eclair banged an egg salad sandwich There was a certain amount of proposing on board But I doubt whether the engagements will hold the co-ed said some people got engaged on the fuck. I love you

That's the guy I don't love you no more more That's the guy who gets it for the first time is like I need to be with you forever Do you think anyone's ever proposed during a 69? I hope that's happened I really hope in the history of time someone's been 69ing and been like That's just... What'd you say? Shut up! Shut up! Faster! Right there! Oh, baby! Baby! I got you! I got you! I got you! Oh, God.

Once off the ship, many of them will be forgotten. Of course, there were sheiks in the school, just like on land, but I dare say there was more. I think they mean guys who are like, you know, how did they spell sheik? Ladies. No, S H E I K S.

Not like C H I C. No, no, I think they're probably means ladies man. Okay. I don't know. It's me. I thought you were like Mohammed bin Salman was on board or something. But I dare say there was more necking back home in

school than on the decks, which you must remember afford little privacy. School officials point with pride. There aren't rooms? There's got to be. But there's probably one large open area. No, but it's probably like a dorm room-y situation. So you do it out on the deck.

What? That's why I finger. Stop suggesting everything's a finger. It's pretty common to be like, hey, you want to hit the shuttle board. You want to go out for dinner, and then maybe I'll finger you after? I'll wash my hand.

Dinner, shuttle board, finger. If it goes down, it's finger in the dinghy. Yep, that's right. Finger in the dinghy. That's confusing for the captain. Finger in the dinghy. What about the dinghy? I'm your finger in the dinghy. Well's confusing for the captain. Fingering the dingy. What about the dingy? Fingering the dingy.

We'll hit it. School officials point with pride to the fact that only 13 boys had to be shipped home for drunkenness, although admitting that the next classes will be selected with more care. The class? Only 13 boys had to be shipped home for drunkenness. 13 guys got shipped off because they were shitfaced.

Only 13. Last year was 250. We've really tightened it up over here. That's really amazing. God bless those guys. That really should be like a 1927. And that's the story of the fuck fairy. And that was the first fuck fairy.

It was. It was awesome, that was. And so I met your mama, proposed when her muff was in my mouth and I'd cocked a face I mean, that's the reason why we don't hear about those anymore because it was probably just Insane they were probably headed to Reno for divorces right after yes exactly Swordfish whale duel. Come on now. Oh dude, come on. He's getting like sharknado type.

I pay for that. I would absolutely. Swordfish whale duel. Who you got? It's tough. I'm going to give it to the swordfish. I'm giving a swordfish to go away. Although you know what?

Swordfish gets in there, stuck once over and can't get out. The whale can, the whale can do some damage. And, and the sword, like the blubber, like you wouldn't be able to pull out of the blubber. If you're I pulled out the blubber, but that was the eye. Yeah.

True confessions. I was on a fuckfairy and I'd never been so full of blubber. I pulled out. Several schools of whales were seen on the way back to Honolulu, a number, disporting between the steamer and land and others out beyond toward the ocean.

At one time, a swordfish leaped out of the water. He was evidently engaged in a bout with some whale. What became known of this fight will never be known for the steamer kept on its way and the whales were finally lost. So this is an article about- That's just total lie. Nothing happened.

Nothing happened. Nothing happened. The swordfish was not fighting the whale. No, he jumped up. Yeah, he jumped. Yeah. And that's it. And then, oh, they're fighting.

The guy was like, Earth only. Finally a whale swordfish battle. We didn't see it, but we're sure it was the thriller in Manila of aquatic fighting. That's it. Well, see that that is a non-story I saw a fish jump. Yeah, I'm making something up. Yeah Let me tell you hey, let me add a little pepper this time. I saw I Don't know man. That's kind of great. I see dolphins when I'm surfing all the time This is making me like have you ever reevaluate? How I need to you need to go deeper how I further out yeah, and you got a break it I need to

Tell my surf tales to my friends have you ever gone out like a boat? Yeah, an acquirer something to see all the flying fish. Oh, yeah sure those are fucking awesome It's crazy. Have you ever gone real far inland and seen the walking? Yes, they're called snakehead. Yeah Oh yeah, sure. Those are fucking awesome. It's crazy. Have you ever gone real far on land and seen the walking fish? Yes, they're called snakeheads. Yeah, they're crazy. It's an invasive species. Why don't you two surf together?

From China. Is there a reason? Because we don't live on the same coast. Yeah. But couldn't you guys maybe surf, I don't know how it works, but couldn't you? We could work out a plan when we surf together. Couldn't you surf in the middle and meet each other?

Nah, you need to stop talking now. How does that work? Could you paddle your boards out there? Not a thing. In your little suit yours have you ever surfed on the Great Lakes no but my friends have because someone someone was making that offer they would hook me up if I was over there in the winter it's mush it sounds terrible very cold mush yeah that's what it sounds like my buddy sent me some pictures yeah like waist-high yeah just beach break yeah

maybe you guys rigid you guys meet in the Gulf of America and go for you know what if we're gonna meet somewhere to surf Why don't we like meet somewhere warm with good waves? Yeah, he makes a good point send David doc you we have this technology yeah Yeah, we can do it I like this for you silence. Silence while we think. Is that a headline or are you upset? It's a headline, it's a headline. I say that often.

Dave's yelled that at me a lot during the show. Silence while we think. It's a podcasting moment. From a circular received. The yesterday of today was the today of yesterday. I hate this article more than anyone we've ever done. Try that on your cerebral organ. Fuck you, writer.

That's the whole thing. My cerebral organ. Yeah, use that in your brain. That's it? Yeah, it was silence while we think. That's. It should have just stopped there. It should, that's filler.

Silence. That's paper filler. Silence. It's like a dad writing an article to his son. Silence while I drink. Abusive phone calls traced to ex-husband. Surprise. This is just amazing.

Who would have thought? Ms. Rudolph Stein, a nurse employed at the Robinson home, notified Captain of Police, Poa, yesterday afternoon that a man was continually ringing her up on the telephone and using abusive and profane language. Why did you leave me? You fucking bitch. Click.

I think I know who it is. All right. In cooperation with the telephone company, a trap was set. Ooh. And about 15 minutes later, Captain Poe was told by telephone officials that if he would go to 236 South King Street, he would find another author.

He would find the author of the profane language. Nice way of putting an abusive call. Yeah. I hopped into an auto. I mean, I don't care what year it is. You don't say that. I think that's fine. I don't give a shit.

Like 1901, 1927. He should have been fired. No one goes, I got into an auto. No, I don't care what year it is. You don't say that. I think that's I don't give a shit like it's 1901 1927 he should have been fired. No one goes I got into an auto. No, you didn't You're already like kept the cops like Said Captain Poe And just as I made my entrance at 236 South King Street I found a Rudolph Stein in an intoxicated condition telephoningphoning. And I knew he was German. Yeah.

Yeah! Two giveaways. Just a drunken German. He just impuriated. Did I not do my best to make you happy? I tried everything I gave, and I gave this relationship. I gave everything. It's good and then orderly.

Alice is in Alton, but you left anything? No, no, no, you shizer! We have no idea who this is. It sounds like my German ex-husband. We gotta trace the call. He speaks very specific. He was in an intoxicated condition, telephoning to his former wife and using language.

Oktoberfest! You don't know who it could be. Oktoberfest. Schnauze! Steins! He switched literally. Hogan? Das Boot.

Described by her in her report to me. Stein was taken to police headquarters and held for investigation. What? No investigation. We got a fingerprint. He's drunk as shit. Yeah.

He's hammered. I admit I did it. Well, we got to further dig. Telephone authorities will swear to a warrant this morning on charges of using profane language over the telephone. That's that, that's when you can get charged for that.

Swearing over the phone. Well's that, that's when you can get charged for that. Swearing over the phone. Well, harassment, because I remember, I remember when I found out about, yeah. Yeah. You found out that you couldn't do that. No, star six stars, the invention of star 69. They did not come on the news and be like, there's new technology to stop prank calls.

They let the parents, let the kids know. Yeah. And we'd been pranking this kid for like months. And then all of a sudden, the one day we were sitting there and my friend's mom came in and she goes, whatever, I won't say the last name, but like Mrs. is on the phone.

And we were like, the actual fuck. She was like, I guess there's something called Star 69. And they traced the call back. And we were like, fuck-o-toes. Dude, my buddy Brian, he was really good at prank calling him and his friends in his house they lived in were just prank calling all the local businesses, restaurants and- It was the best. Like hilarious shit, but he was telling us about this and, you know, oh, we pranked this

place and told them, you know, we gotta hold of something bad and now we got the shits and they need to, you know, we're gonna call the health department, blah, blah, blah, blah. Randy started crying, he's like, flashback. And I'm just, yeah, I'm just laughing. So then I get this idea, my buddy, his wife, she was a school teacher with a very strict voice. So we pranked the caller and it was like,

hello, is this Brian Colton? Yes, this is before we had. Yeah. Hey this is Janet Ludlow down at AT&T and we've received many many calls from different local area businesses saying that you've been pranking them complaining about this and he's like and she started listing the restaurant precisely everything and it's like you know, uh, and she started listing the restaurant, precisely everything. And it's like, you know, this is a federal offense. Oh my God.

And he's just like, oh, oh! It was so great, man. And then what, you gave the reveal? No. No, no, no. Just let it ride. Just let it ride, dude. He still is like.

Let it ride for a while, man. He was shitting his pants. I bet. He's just like, oh, how did they know about McDonald's? How did they know? That was so niche. Yeah. It was an accidental one.

So good. It's so advanced now. There's a kid in Finn's class who just poses as young women online and just gets thousands of dollars from old dudes by pretending he's gonna go. Like there's a guy in Germany he was getting thousands of dollars from. Because by pretending he's gonna go, like there's a guy in Germany he was getting thousands of dollars from, because the guy thought that he was gonna fly out

like a 16 year old girl to bang, and then he'd just get thousands of dollars and then he'd be like, fuck off, you loser, and just keeps the money. Holy shit. 100%. How old is this child? The kid, the guy doing it, he's like 16.

Oh my God, so he's like catfishing these fuckers. Who are fucking pedophile creeps. That's fucking- So I am both opposed and for it. Yeah, both opposed and for it. It's like weird when you're fighting pedophilia with capitalism. Yeah.

Fine, fine. Yeah, a 16 year old. Yeah. Is he doing cryptocurrency or something? Yeah. Well imagine trying to get your money back. It's gotta be cryptocurrency. It gets all crypto.

Reporting it to the police like, so. He's got an entire forum of all these pedos that he just sucks money up from. Don't say it like that. And then when they get to, when they they get to like I want to fly you out Here's the money then he blocks him and they go away That's fucking crazy. Yeah And that's how he's gonna pay for college Get on a boat bombing pedophiles out and

It's crazy the world I mean look I know that they're they're problematic. It's a site, but I always say, let them know. I mean, even a pedophile, let them down easy. That's what I've always said. What? Break up with them. Hey, Aaron, can you cut that? Yeah. No, I'll say it into the camera. Hi. Hey, everybody. You know, I'm looking at the. Trump's a pedo. Look, my point is, what's our sponsor? Let's move on.

What we got? We're going down in flames. Oh, come on. Our sponsor is Ashley Madison. Oh, boy, that's tough. Do you want to do? Do you want to date Ashley Madison? Do you want to date someone who's also not real?

Oh, that's that's actually the one where they like when they did investigation, they felt like nobody's they're just sucking. It was dude. I'm people. It was crazy. Yeah, it's nobody's actually Madison's the one where they like when they did investigation. They felt like nobody's it's just they're just sucking It was dude from people. It was crazy. Yeah, it's nobody's game and the amount of men who were like, ooh No, it's like married people who want to like fuck around. Yeah, but none of they were like no women It was all dudes talking to fucking fake people. Yeah classic dudes Okay back to this whatever was happening in this. Sure. Stein is a former detective who has been separated

from his wife for some time. So he was a detective doing this. Yeah, what a fucking idiot. What a fucking idiot. Like, dude, you knew he were gonna, you're a detective. How did you? Like, come on, man. Detective in Deutschland.

So fucking dumb. Do not have call tracing in Deutschland, yeah. It wasn't me! He's still holding the phone. I can still hear you. There's no headline in this. That doesn't matter. Dien Inge...

Excuse me? Inge... Inge... Inge? Are you doing German? Inge? Inge? Is it Inge? Sure. In English, I feel like it's Inge. English. Of St. Paul's in London says there ought to be Lady Housemaids.

This is going to get bad. This is going to get bad. But in 1927, that doesn't feel like- Lady Housemaids? That feels like non-controversial back then. and that doesn't feel like- Lady housemaids? That feels like non-controversial back there. Like, isn't that kind of like just saying there ought to be gas stations where I can get gas? Or like, there ought to be waitresses. Yeah.

Also- Until then it was- Were there a bunch of dude housemaids running around? There was a lot of dude housemaids. Little French. Your door was quite dusty, sir. Also- Bend over. I'd like to turn your bed down.

But I don't do windows. Your laundry's done. Your laundry's done, Jeffrey. Your counters were quite muddy, sir. Would you care for a biscuit? Oh, should we shag, sir? Also, the social status of domestic service should be raised so that it could be recognized as an honorable profession.

As a human being. Wow. As a honorable profession for the daughters of professional men. It's a very, it's very strange because- Right? Well- Yes, because you go through a phase, obviously, where that is considered a female occupation. But you just said also honorable.

Also honorable and you want- You guys just did the Poe thing, the first part. And I know a bit about Poe because he was from Richmond representing. His mother- Wouldn't be too proud. His Mary is, hey man, he was a brilliant writer. But there's a little sketchy things.

There's sketchy things about it. But his mother is buried up the hill from where I used to live up in Church Hill in an unmarked grave. Oh wow. Because she was an actress and she died in a rich family. Right, a great actress. Yes, but at that time, even though people went to the theater, being an actress or an actor was a disreputable profession. It was almost close

to like prostitution the way they viewed it. Still is. Yeah. Right? But she's buried up in the yard of St. John's Church in Richmond. Still unmarked? Yes, which is they don't know precisely where she is because she was an actress. And that's the same church where Patrick Henry said, give me liberty or give me death. Oh, okay

Yeah, lots of history. Yeah Well, why don't you just run the fucking show? Okay, Dave chill out. It's okay Okay, so he thinks this would solve a great social pro program. It would temporarily. This is now the, our newspaper talking, I think the real solution is to develop electrical apparatus to take the place of a house. Roombas.

Uh, I mean, they're already going straight to AI. Yeah. That's like much. Roombas. Yeah. What if we have a robot? Yeah. Wow.

The fuck is it, is it the, is it, are they called Roombas? Roomba? Yeah. Yeah. My buddy got one recently. Oh yeah. Roombas are. Oh, I have one. And he, he'd like showed it to me. robot yeah wow is it is it the is are they called room room yeah yeah my buddy got one oh yeah Roomba's are I have one and he'd like showed it to me he programmed it great it maps everything yeah I mean it tells Google where everything is in your house but that's cool I just wasn't impressed I it seems

like it took a long time it does take a while yeah I'm not in there I could just be like okay we're done I agree that's how I feel I'm not in. Where I can just be like, zh, zh, zh, zh, okay, we're done. I agree, that's how I feel. I'm like, I'll get that done quicker and it's not as big of a fucking deal. It happens when I'm not there. And I'm not, I told my buddy, Patty, that the thing is gonna fucking turn on him one night. I agree.

It's gonna come out. I hope so. He's got the one, it's got the stand, and it backs in. It washes itself and comes out. It washes itself? Yeah, and there's this little arm that comes out. This little shotgun swings out. Yeah. It also has a blade. Yeah, and there's this little arm that comes out a little shotgun swings out and yeah

It also has a blade Patty it can slice your Achilles heel. Whoa. Yeah, it's good. It's great. They're great Patty Patty platinum He's one of my servant buddies, but we call him Patty platinum because he's he's got nice things Uh-huh. Well, but I question his vacuum cleaner purchase Yeah, yeah Dave is surprisingly- I call it the little robot that my wife hates. So do you have like the Google all over your house? No, I don't use the one that's associated with Google.

Dave's wife is a robot. It's an un-Google one. Un-Google? Yeah, it's not Google. That'd be a great website. I try to keep Google away out of my house for a lot of most stuff. Right. We have the podcast emails, Google, but I'm trying to Google away out of my house for a lot of most stuff right well

We have the podcast email is Google, but I'm trying to get away from Google Google Say as we say well. We don't say that who we're not saying that What's the matter for once I didn't want to do a Nazi you go For once I didn't want to do a Nazi podcast. For once, I didn't want this to turn into a Nazi podcast. We want the Roombas. The Roombas and the Hoogles.

What do you know, Roomba? What have you picked up on? The real solution is to develop electrical apparatus to take the place of the housemaids. Any woman good enough to be a good housemaid ought to be married and taken care of a family. Oh, this is just not. You know, you. I didn't see that coming. I didn't either. good enough to be a good housemaid ought to be married and taking care of a family. See, it's so fucking- Oh, this is just not-

You know, you know. I didn't see that coming. I didn't either. I really thought that that- And this is in 1927. You knew that was gonna come. It felt like- We need robots.

Yes, it felt like it was gonna take a, like a suffrage, like there was gonna be a moment of like- Yes. Freedom. Yes, freedom only to just be like, good lord, how's she gonna absorb all the babies if she's cleaning? Yes, like. She's there to make pools and pools of children.

How can they be constantly bursting if they are out doing the mappings, the folding, the laundry, the dishes? If you're walking and cleaning, you're not getting babies. The nuclear household will fall apart. It's what Elon said. Where are we at with time?

One minute. One minute. We got one minute left. We got one minute. Oh, we've done a Google. We've done a Google hours. Wow. Machine gun patrols. Yes.

Finally. Finally. A little even hurt everything yet I'm pretty Yeah, this gets him excited 35 machine gun patrols All right, I'm on board and all have been detailed to duty at strategic points in the city by police headquarters What the fuck in Honolulu? Yeah. Wow seems like That's not Aloha spirit.

No. Well, they were keeping the fucking… Aloha. ...Hallies away. Yeah. Yeah. The waves are good. They were shooting the waves.

Duke Kahanamoko said enough. Yeah. You Howley motherfuckers. Get out of here. My surf. I haven't understood what anyone said. My waves. Go home.

Yeah. All gangsters and hotbeds of disorder are being closely watched and strictest discipline will be maintained at the polling places. Oh, it's for, it's for elections. It's for the poll guy. It's for elections. The poll guy? It's the poll guy at the polling place.

How am I polling? Oh, that's fucking crazy. The poll guy. The poll guy, the drunk poll guy. Yeah, yeah, he's like. Yeah. I can't necessarily make the. Yeah, yeah, he's like. Yeah. I can't necessarily make the joke connection, but it's pretty good.

I can't believe what I just read. What happened to America? History. Is that it? We're living in it. That's it, that's all we're doing. OK. Well, it's pretty, it's interesting.

Hm? It's a better time. We're doomed. Favorite part of that one, I'll go. Go ahead. The fuck university. The water fuck university. I think that was, you know, the most, I don't know, it had the most zest, I guess.

It was when they made scurvy and STD, finally. That's what I, that's my favorite part. Yeah. You're not gonna weigh in? No. I mean, obviously the best story of all these was the the crazy swordfish whale fight Never get better than that Randy people go to Randy Bly dotnet. That's right your book tour. You can read my sub stack randonia

I'm a big fan of yes, and you're very you're prolific a prolific individual. He's running from something. Yeah, he's running, he's surfing from something. Whatever it is, we're glad to have you. Glad to be here. All right, this next one goes out to Randy Bly. I just wanted to dedicate something to you, like you did to me. Oh, thank you. If Dave had come to the show that night,

he would have had a song dedicated to him too, right? He would have. You've never seen someone have as much energy, it was funny to me that I was like, we were just hanging out in a green room, and then he's jumping 20 feet, pouring water all over himself. He's a rock guy. It's full, but it's like, it's beyond just being a rock guy. Well, he's a, it's a particular type of rock guy.

It's full body. That type of rock guy. I have to do all that to make up for the lack of talent. I don't even think that's true. I don't even think that's true. But I'm gonna start doing that at our show. Thank you. It's gonna be a lot more jumping off of speakers,

running around, this next pun goes out. I'm gonna do like that sort of stuff, yeah. All right. Yeah, all right, well, you're coming around for a part two, so... I will be here for a part two. Alright. Um, well, as always, we want to say thanks to everybody. And, um...

Don't kill yourselves. Yeah, thank you. Chins up. Later, man. Fuck it. Jesus. Dave's a cop. Hey, dollop fans, I know you love the dollop, you love listening to the dollop. Do you want to watch the dollop?

You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch a five-part animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, I can't remember, of the Rube, you can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube. It really genuinely kicks ass and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff,

the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one, so go there and watch the Rube.