The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 116 - The Past Times with Randall Blythe - part 2

Episode Date: March 15, 2025

Dave Anthony picks a newspaper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds. For the second week in a row, they are joined by Lamb of God singer and author Randall Blythe  Redbubble Merch Factor - code: FactorPodcast

We're going on tour and this is it's been a while March 2025 is when our tour is happening. First of all, we're going to Tempe, Arizona Maybe our best city of all time. It's the best that is on March 16th And then we go to Albuquerque, New Mexico, maybe our favorite city ever. We really never love the city We've ever gone to that's on March 17th and then we go to Oklahoma City, which is our faith We often say that it's our number one. Yeah, it's our number one. The best city I've ever been to.

That's on March 18th. On March 19th, we're going to be in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Our favorite city without question. And then we head to Dallas, Texas on March 20th. Our favorite city. That's why there's never been a better city. If you don't like it, you're a Dallas asshole. Thank you.

And then we go to Houston, Texas on March 23rd, which is by far the best city. And then we end our tour in Austin, Texas, on March 22nd at the Cap City Comedy Club. It's the best city. In the entire world. Number one city in the world. You can get tickets at dollopodcast.com slash tour.

All right, everybody. Welcome to the Past Times podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I've never seen it before, and neither is our guest this week. Round two. Love Randy Boy. Hi, Randy. Round four. Well, round four, round two of today. Round two of today. You're good for two. I am. It's because you got that rock star stamina. I'll go for nine. Do you like being called a rock star? What do you think of that? No. Is that why? What about a cock star? Yeah. Do you like cock and roll? Cock and roll. That's why I put my wiener in sushi. I mean, you are technically a rock star. Cock star. Do you like cock and roll? Cock and roll. That's where I put my wiener in sushi.

I mean, you are technically a rock star. You are. What do you like to, what do you like, what do you go with? If I were to refer to myself as a rock star, I would call myself a budget rock star. No. Yes. No.

I came here in a Nissan Rogue. Yeah, but rogue. I mean, look. You're against the system. It's a rental. You at home drive a Bentley. You drive a Tesla with the doors that go up like the lamp. I drive the same truck I've driven since 2009. I get that. I use trucks. Who would you call a rock star? I have rock star friends. Who? Like my friend Duff McKagan slash.

Yeah, Rockstar. That's Rockstar. Let me tell you something. When I went and saw Guns N' Roses, like whatever, right before COVID, that dude plays a punk song and I was just like, just do more of this for the show. Well Duff is. I know he's an old punk guy.

Yeah. But like, he's a fucking legit punk guy. Yes, he was. In Guns N' Roses, but he was always an old punk guy, but like he's a fucking legit punk guy Yes, he was in the in the Guns N' Roses, but he was always a legit punk guy when he came I'm so glad that he played that punk song. I was like, yes. Yeah Duff is a wonderful human being He's a rockstar. He seems like it. He very much he is a real. You're a rockstar. I hate to say it I'm sorry you are but you know what else you are. It's look Duff is married to a Supermodel. Yes, he is. I, as a not rock star, no supermodel would ever look at me.

I love my girl though. She's my supermodel. She's great. But she was not in Rome. She might have been in Rome. Like walking the carpet. The carpet, but not enough people. Like walking the carpet. The carpet? I don't know if people call it walking the carpet.

Is it? They do it? It's the catwalk. Oh, sorry. I don't fucking know. Now you're not a rock star. I'm not a rock star. I don't know.

Nobody does it like, nobody says like in Rome and then those little walkie finger guys. People don't do that. So listen, models, you're going to walk the carpet. And it's also, it's in Milan. That's where Fashion Week is. Right, okay, all right, fine. I love Fashion Week. Stop talking. But you're more than just a budget rock star, author.

Author. I mean, you're a rock contour. Can I call you that? A rock contour. A rock contour. But you have a new book coming out, February 18th. Yes. And then you're also doing a book tour for your book,

but you're not just gonna stand there. Because you are so creatively obsessed, nervous energy, you don't wanna just sit there and just, Dave, stop. He's running from what's inside of himself. Like you aren't. Instead of just sitting and quietly meditating and accepting what is, he's constantly creating.

Everything Dave does is because he can't fight his dad. Stop running. and quietly meditating and accepting what is. He's constantly creating. Because he needs to run. Everything Dave does is because he can't fight his dad. You can't stop running. Dave's dad was a hell of a guy, by the way. You can go to. I heard you killed him. No, that's not.

100%. You literally admitted it this morning. No I didn't. I said we hung out on the day he died. Drinking and then things are not bad at night. I was sad to hear he went. It was awful. But you're not going to be reading chapters from your book.

You're going to be telling other stories. Yes, running around. And from what I've heard, they're fucking great. Right. Well, I have good stories. And you have a lot of good stories. All the best ones I have are normally at my expense. Yeah.

You've kind of lived two lives. You've lived the one and now the one that you're reporting on. Yes, the stupid one, which I'm currently in, and the really stupid one I used to live. Which was fucking wild. But people can go to randybly.net, spelled Blythe. Yeah, R-E-N-D-Y-B-L-Y-T-H-E dot net.

Go there for information. You can preorder the books and you can get tickets. And I'm going to be ending the tour March 12th, 13th, and 14th here in California. Is it true that Dave and I are going to be up on stage for the one in LA? I heard that we're going to be up there hanging out. Absolutely. Even if we're just- Bottomless.

Bottomless. Yeah, well, we like to call it skin centaurs. Full of Viagra. Yeah, no, rock hard rock stars. Rock hard rock stars. And I will be donated any proceeds from the California shows to Habitat LA. When you're performing, do you ever have to go to the bathroom? What do you do if you have to go to the bathroom on stage? I piss myself stage? You do have you ever pissed yourself on stage? No, okay great. All right. Well dave have you This myself on stage like what are you doing? You have to go to the bathroom and you're on stage You're also a performer by the way. I'm uh, but it's different It's different. I I I bet you've never had to do this which multiple guys in my band have not just me

I had a trash can ready behind the to vomit shit shit on stage Dude, look, let me tell you something. What? When you have food poisoning, oh Right. Yeah, or you guys eating you're getting great food. I try Right now you are. This is lamb of God, not Led Zeppelin, bro. Undercooked lamb?

You're in different countries, different bacteria. You know what I mean? But literally, we've had to have a trash can back there because... Now I've never done this. People do not give a fuck if you have food poisoning or have some sort of stomach bug or whatever. This is crazy. They want to, and you're in London, like my guitar player Mark had fucking horrific,

horrific food poisoning one time and still went on stage and he was gray and just didn't move the whole time. I like stood near him, I was afraid he was gonna fall over. But I've done that before. I've only. So when you. I did did that I did a show at a culinary school in South Carolina. A culinary? And they were like what the students want to serve you before and I ate the food and I immediately got food poisoning and I was

the last guy on the show and they were and I was like in the back throwing up and shitting and they're like call my name ran out Let's go funny man 45 exactly 45 and then ran off went right back to the now see I have two things one Dave has had food poisoning and canceled the show before I did Get off I couldn't get off the floor. Yeah, that happened to me in Vegas Yeah, I actually I ate sushi here in LA with my buddy stick and we went to Vegas and I got off the bus the next Morning, I was like at the House of Blues I was like, at the House of Blues, I was like, all right. And then all of a sudden, it was just like, ooh, all wrong.

And then I was just throwing up and shitting uncontrollably, and the doctor came and shot me in the ass with something to make me stop puking. Yeah. And then I was in my bunk, and I just remember my tour manager, Brian, opening the bunk and being like, are we going to have to cancel? He's very non-emotional.

He's like, are we going to have to cancel the show? I'm like, yes, Brian. And then passed out. But that's the only time I've ever canceled a show due to a sickness. I've done it with it. But you made it through with food poisoning at a colon area. Yeah, colon area is how you said it. I one time was about to explode on stage and I was like literally 20 minutes in.

A comedy club? Yeah, this is within the last year. And I was like on stage like, oh boy. And I was 20 minutes in where it started and by the end, I keep my time and I'll normally do a little more than whatever 45, but I was like, it was 44 39 and I ran, ran off stage. Thank you very much. You've been great.

Yeah, it was like that. Yeah. It was like, did you, did you that day eat any van eggs? No. You want to know what I blame it on? Comedy club food? No. Wings? No. Wings?

No. Ricola, I had too many ricola. What does that even mean? All right, we're going to guess what year this paper's from. That's too many ricola. Ricorola. I heard that someone recently, they found out they were shitting their pants

because they couldn't drink Pellegrino. That's not crazy. You're not supposed to drink too much sparkling water. It's got a lot of stuff in it. Just like Dave. Alright, Randy, we're going to guess what year this paper is from. Well, it's actually French for the crap.

What year do you think that... You were two years off on the first one. Yes. You got any theories on this one? Yes, I do. Go ahead. I'm going to go ahead and say, even though you never asked for the date, I just. You're more than welcome. September 30th!

Year? 1783! What? 1783? That's old, that's too old. You got cocky, sir. I know, because I didn't know if they had newspapers here yet or not.

They did. They were just real weird. I know, that's what I was hoping for. They were just like, River Sprite, Storm's Capital. Yeah. That's fine. I'm from Virginia. I'm going to... Well, okay. Do you want to guess where... I bet you this paper is close to where you're from. Do you want to guess where it's from? Newport News, Virginia. Okay. I'm going to guess... Why are you mad at me already, asshole? Go ahead, do it. 1899.

No. Shut up. And I'm going to say Richmond. What's Richmond? You already knew that. No, I didn't. No, you didn't. I did not.

You fucking lie, you whore. What are you talking? I'm not a whore. Are you cheating? There's no way Burns didn't tell you. He didn't tell me. So you're disqualified. What year?

You are a whore. It was Richmond, Virginia, June 3rd, 1985. Sorry. 1985. 1985 didn't tell me. So you're disqualified. What year? It was Richmond, Virginia, June 3rd, 1985. Sorry. 1985? See, wouldn't you think I would know the year then? Oh boy, all right, now this could be a good one.

This could be good. You did know. I did not know! Why are you taking his side? You do not call me that! Oh! Not fair. What are you-hmm. Not fair. What are you talking about?

I lost. You did, you got it right the first time basically. And he normally, who won? He did. Yeah, you won, okay? He was disqualified. Dad likes you. He was disqualified for cheating.

You were disqualified. Stop, you're both getting a little too worked up. I'm just upset you were a trollop. That's the podcast, that's the other podcast. He can't be trusted. It is the Richmond Times Dispatch. The Times Disgrace, as it is. Well, boy, you got a lot of insider knowledge, don't you?

Actually, they were always pretty good to me, I guess. Guard-Hid Hand Grenade, Traveler says. Oh, boy. Guard-Hid Hand Grenade. Now, is this a city jail? This is an airport guard put a hand grenade into a passenger's purse to test airport security. Holy fuck.

No, this is in El Paso. It's an AP story. Holy fuck. To test airport security, but instead gave the woman and her family the scare of their lives. Yeah. Um, honey? Um, there's um, what is this? This looks just.

Oh God, jump on it. Is it a turtle? So the guard. Yeah, the TSA agent or whatever they were called back then. He's doing, the guard is just like, I think I'm gonna do a little explosive. Yeah, cause this is when there's no security at all. Why not a gun?

Back when you could joke about hitting bombs and stuff. Yeah. Back when you could joke. Remember when people could walk you to your gate, like your family, like, what's up, bye? Ken Bryce, 29, and his wife, Carol. I don't like his name. I don't either.

I don't care for it either. And his wife, Carol, and their six-month-old son, Justin. Oh, I hate Justin. Am I the only one who's curious about Justin? Just a little piece of shit. Went through. Crying all the time. Go ahead.

Went through security at El Paso International Airport Saturday. After their carry-on baggage came through an X-ray machine, Bryce saw a grenade in his wife's purse. Jesus Christ. I like how he saw it. He saw it, what, on X-ray? He probably just went to pick it up and saw it.

Honey? Yeah. What are you doing? We're taking these fuckers down. We will show them. Last flight. To Bolivia. My first thought was for the safety of my wife and son.

Said Bryce, I grabbed the hand grenade. Pulled the pin. For the hand grenade, intending to throw it away from us. What the fuck us What the fuck fucking Christ what this is that's what I would do. I don't know I would probably leave Yeah, yeah wife. Yeah, and the kid I'd leave the kid. I didn't I didn't like the kid from the beginning Yeah, yell some fucking wild-ass shit. They would get me canceled today I'm picking it up, and I'm throwing it because you know how there's always a TSA guy that's in charge and he's got like a little podium thing over on the side. I'm throwing it right at him and I'm yelling

down. Yeah. Here's what I'm doing. Eating it? Why at him? Yeah, why at him? Fucker. Yeah, I agree. That guy. Two birds one grenade. To get to the top of TSA, you're a piece of shit. The guy checking your ID in 1985 is the the top of TSA. You're a piece of shit the top the guy checking your ID in 1985 Dave hates any power structure Dave's like it should be a co-op Derry try and keep us safe Dave how could they make this a should be a co-op? Yeah so this guy He reaches to grab it. He's gonna throw it. He's gonna throw the fuck now

So why is this dude in his wife's purse? Well, I think that then the it's probably if a guard put it in there, it's probably open and you can see it Right imagine. Yeah, but he's still getting a little sneaky with those eyes in his wife's bag. And this is also in Texas Yeah, where it's totally normal. Yeah, but he's still getting a little sneaky with those eyes in his way, but this and this is also in Texas Yeah, all right where it's totally normal. Yeah, totally. Yeah, great. We gave him away when you all walked in so Intending to throw it away from us not thinking about all the people coming up the concourse Mm-hmm a security guard grab them family first. Yeah, honestly security grab my hand and said no don't touch it Yeah, honestly, it's pretty great grab my hand and said no don't touch it

That's my craziest interact like it's insane. Now. This is not this is was this sanction I was just gonna say this guy just went rogue, right? Then the guard told me that they had put it there to make sure their machines were working properly, but they weren't he noticed it but he Well that they could see it probably this is Insane this is insane. The 80s were awesome. This is fucking insane. Like, why wouldn't they just like,

okay, now we're gonna do the test, have their own little bag, maybe? Totally have their, and say like, let me take Mrs. Johnson's purse and put this fucking grenade right beside her fucking gummy bears and her birth control and like let's just see what the fuck happens. We gotta put it in a real ladies bag.

Yeah to make sure. What are you doing? Yeah because they had to have been testing the guard on the machine. And then did he slip it in the bag prior to, like he just went off the road. He's like Houdini like have a grenade. I think the guard dropped it in as it was going through.

Oh okay right. Then the guard told me they had put it there to make sure their machines are working properly, and Bryce said the guards did not say whether the grade was live or dummy. Jesus Christ. I mean, fuck me. Don't mess with Texas.

Keep them on their toes. Honestly. No, mess with Texas, I think. I think mess with Texas. Let them, Honestly. No, mess with Texas, I think. I think mess with Texas. Let them, instead of don't mess with Texas, all podcasts move there. Yeah. That is fucking nuts.

Yeah, that is nuts. The 80s were really great. They really were. Were they? Yeah. I don't think so. Oh, come on. I'm with them.

Come on. I thought they were kind of horrifying, like decade of greed and materialistic. Yeah, but it was before it was like we've been we hadn't paid the tab fully. Day glow occurred first then. Yeah. Yeah. Not good. Good stuff. Yeah. Yeah. No, not good. None of this is good. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. No, I think that we're saying the same thing. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No, I think that we're saying the same thing. What a decade in a good way.

Exactly. Well, did it, was it in her bag? Well, well, we don't do Reagan impressions on this podcast. And Trump is retired because he's a fascist. You're done with Trump. I can't believe your president. I can't believe that there was a time when I wasn't. I tell you, I would recommend not doing it,

because literally in three weeks, people are going to be like, it's not funny. It's an homage to the best president. Sir, if you're watching, which I hope you are, you're the best. Unbelievable. I think you're a fat rapist. Well, the Express Viewpoints of Dave Anthony

on this podcast are not shared by his co-host who thinks you're unbelievable. People are going to get mad at me because you can make a fan of Trump without saying he's fat. Let me just say something. Go ahead. The entire Nazi mystique is based on hyper-masculinity, so you actually do have to attack them for their physical

State Well, I also sorry, but that's the truth I also think you're allowed to physically shame the billionaire class and the fascist I mean it's true like if you don't want to attack the fascist for their physical state Then you're literally just giving them the masculine lane to do what they want with. So no, I disagree. It's actually very stupid. Plus I like my fascist a little chunky.

Am I the only one who likes him a little bit? Yeah, with a little bit of thickness on there. Yeah, yeah. Fruits of their labors. Yeah, I like it. I like the idea that he's got a... Train hidden in red tape. I know it could be the one, couldn't it?

You guys are not sure. It could be either one. It could be either one. I'm just thinking, and please tell me, is this in Richmond? No, this is in Vermont. God damn it, I'm thinking out on Staples Mill Road, the Amtrak station.

There's this just train just covered in red cellophane tape, just like everywhere. cellophane tape just like everywhere cellophane train. People come in the I forget what it is the train but there's some specific line they take it from New York to Richmond all the fucking time. Tell them. Shut up. Leave them alone. just quit saying train Train get like rain man here train train man train man tape definitely 445 This is out of Moscow No, of course, it's red. Yes Soviet efforts to find a fucking communist. Yes. How read this on this podcast with me? Yeah, you know you're the capital of a blue blooded fucking American.

Yeah, you like Reagan. Reagan, come on. Your career's like got in the rock. Yeah. Randy Bly, high fiving of Reagan on a podcast. No. Change ticket sales. Cheers, let's get on the rock. Randy Bly, high fiving a Reagan on a podcast. No. Change tickets soon.

Soviet efforts to find a missing freight train produced a lot of bureaucratic buck passing, but not the 28 cars. Ruble passing. Yeah, that's better. Pravda complained yesterday. Pass the ruble to the other side. So they can't find a 28 car train.

That's a big train to lose. I bet an oligarch took it. Not then. This is all common. No, not even close. A train consisting of 28 freight cars with crushed rock left the Tomashev-Gordovsky factory on June 24th, 1983. So this is two years ago.

Soviet newspaper said it left, but it didn't arrive. Did it go through like Siberia? This sounds like a movie. Like the Bermuda Triangle in Russia. Yeah. Bermuda Triangle train situation. Yes. Bermuda Triangle. It did not come out of tunnel. In Russia, train lose you.

It's all right I'll work I'll keep going and I'll have a better one now you guys been to Russia no I want to go I just want to be like the head of the factory in the Ukraine wrote the management of railways in Russia where the train was headed as well as investigators in Moscow. I don't know what the fuck that sentence was. But the Russian Railways Office responded by turning the problem over to the railway officials in Bylo-Russia, which in turn passed its right back to the rail office, so the pass in the buck.

Right. Pass in the buck. Where is the train? Nobody knows. Eventually, the problem ended up. This is like the Malaysian plane. The problem ended up at the central office in the rail ministry in Moscow.

The staff of this section finally concluded that it was impossible to do anything since all the documents concerning shipments were kept for only one year and then destroyed. The newspaper article listing examples of bureaucratic squabbling among government agencies wondered how the railways could destroy documents each year. So this train just, they don't know what happened to the train. And this two years later and they're like, no one knows. Whoever got it, it's a great story.

I mean, it didn't vanish. No, there's some people like living on it. They were talking like that's an episode of Scooby Doo. Right. And we don't have that. Here his name is Dooscooby, much different here. And instead, they never solved mystery. What's his name?

Dooscooby. And Shaggy, he had a bit of a vodka head. And then you got Scrappy D. And they don't drive Mystery Van. What do they drive? The Mule, Mystery Mule. And they ride him everywhere to squares and whatnot. And instead of ripping Maskov off at the end, they take it face value. Who guy is?

Guy is he. In Russia, you run train on yourself. Come on. It's Kevin. Russia, man. This is a family show. It was. Dude, the first time we played Russia.

Oh, God, don't tell me there's a train store. Someone run in a train store. No, it's just we had been, I can't even remember. What year is this? I don't even remember. Roughly. We've been, sometime in the, like, 2010s, I guess. But we had been on tour, and we flew,

and it took like 24 hours to get to Russia. And we landed in Moscow, and it took like 24 hours to get to Russia. And we landed in Moscow, and it was like seven in the morning, and it was rainy and grim, and they're like, okay, now we go to radio station to do interview. And we were like, no, no we do not. We go to sleep, and they're like, no. And like the promoter, and our like manager at the time

calls us like, what the fuck are you guys doing? We're like, we're going to fucking bed. He's like, go do the interviews. We're like, fuck you. We weren't picking it up. Like the promoters there, they're all mob, right? Yeah, they were not fucking stoked. Luckily, then we went back and played St. Pete

and Moscow again, and two of our crew guys, our lighting guy, for some reason, the visa got fucked up for our lighting guy, and they let him into the country. Oh shit. And we're at the hotel and then the Police Russian police come and bring this thing and they're like you have to leave Russia within 24 hours Or we will take you to prison where you will remain for at least two weeks Before we'll deport you. I don't I don't know why that was the thing

I got to get put in prison for two weeks before you get kicked out. That's their way. Yeah, but it was like, we were like, oh shit, so we had to buy our lighting guy a ticket, you know. Or you do morning radio. Or you do morning radio, or lighting guy goes to jail for two weeks. Look, you do morning zoo, you spend weeks in jail.

Welcome to Borsky and the Bear. Borsky and the Bear, KJky and the Bear KJM A40. I went to the Kremlin and like, I mean it was cool and shit. I walked around, but then I was just when I still drank and I bought some of those nesting dolls, the Babushkas, and I didn't bring them home. And then I decided I wanted to try vodka while I was in Russia. So I went to this, like by by myself kind of working class bar,

which is the type of place where I would go drink, and I just sat in there and I ordered some vodka, and I realized that everybody was just staring at me, and I just took a couple of shots, I was like, I think I should leave. You have the long hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah. I was like, I think maybe I should leave.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. So I think you guys should go do it. I'm down. Adalib. I'm still down. Sounds terrible. Adalib, we have to have it edited. It's all redacted.

Yeah. It's like two minutes, Dave's like, January, not sure, 18, nevermind. Yeah. Putin would love it. Oh, Pootie's a big fan. Pootie, yeah, Pootie's a big fan. Pootie's a big fan.

Gareth, the pastimes is brought to you by Factor. Yeah. Factor, of course, meal situation, chef made gourmet meals, super easy to make, come right to your house, you cook them up in like two minutes, and then you're sitting down eating, and you're like, how did this happen?

This is incredible. I believe there to be a genie chef inside of each factor meal who's there as a guardian to help you prepare it. I wish I could counter that, but I can't. It sounds totally right on. Well, it's grounded in reality. Yeah. Factor arrives fresh, fully prepared, perfect for anybody, any active lifestyle, non-active

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That's life. Well, yeah, I mean- I didn't even cook it. I had that one. I did the Baja Shrimp. Interesting. Oh, dude. Interesting. I had like a cauliflower rice, broccoli, like a little lime, dude. Interesting. I had like a cauliflower, rice, broccoli,

like a little lime. I'll be honest, I'm uncomfortable with how much you're reveling in it. I told you what I had and said it was good, but you're doing like kind of noises. I more had the food make love to me. I don't know what you did, but that's what was going on. I fought the genie who came in the meal. Okay, well, so we eat differently. They also can help you feel your best all day long with wholesome smoothies and breakfasts and grab and go snacks and more items. You've done the smoothies, right?

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at factor meals.com slash factor podcast to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box which one of us was watching a video? Man, this woman, this woman, she opened a Pepsi and it went all over her. I mean, all over her. That's fun. Factor. Bird in the car is worth hitching rides to work. What? What? I think they're trying to do a... Bird in hand? Yeah. Two in the bush? I think they failed. The bird in hand? This is out of Pensacola, Florida Andrew Aleef has had to resort to hitching rides because his car is for the birds. They got another one in this. It's not happening. So that's really just not a story. And so far... So far... So far

It's a terrible headline. It sounds like his car broke down and he needed to hitch. A leaf gave up using his car May 24th after he found that a bird believed to be a sparrow had built a nest and laid eggs in his open glove compartment. Believed to be a sparrow! Ha ha ha ha! It is a very mighty python problem. Well, you've got sparrows in your motor.

I sure wasn't a robin. No, there's sparrows in your motor. I sure wasn't a robin. No, there's sparrows in your motor. I've got a sparrows tire. You're talking about the band. Quiet. And laid eggs in his open glove compartment. This is a gift. He had what the window was open, right?

Well, I don't know. Where is this? the car, Florida? Nothing ever happens in Richmond. No, we're not no one's interested. No, yeah, no one's doing just from now on every stories in Yeah, yeah, I just is Richmond. Yeah, I just didn't have the heart to put them I just didn't have the part to put them out. She can have my car as long as she wants it He said I love this in the meantime I'll leave said his wife Jackie is driving him to his job and another car This guy gave his car up to birds to a bird nest because it's it's just gonna be a nightmare when he gets back in it

It's no he's not know you're done with these shit everywhere Sparrow cars over Yes cars over. I don't think he realized that though. I think he thinks it's it's alone. Like he's like he's like He's a sparrow hurts. Yeah That's what he thinks he is. Yeah, but he's gonna go back and be like what state was this in? Florida Florida. Oh, of course. Well, that was weird Man cleans up after dogs. So owners don't have to what maybe would Minnesota a man cleans up Dogs pooping and this was in the Richmond Times Dispatch. Yep. I think things have at least gotten a little better with that paper since then. Maybe. You want Richmond stuff. I bet it'll happen.

I know he doesn't want to. Yeah, it's got to be something. Armed with a rake and a fishnet line. Hey, hey, hey, I know how you don't clean up dog shit. Rake and fishnet. Rake and a fishnet. Hey, it's everywhere. Just throw it out. Armed with a rake and a fishnet lined with a garbage bag. But why do you have the fishnet? Was this before we had the bag in hand technology?

I don't think we had dog poop bags back then. I'm seeing him throwing it, like using the net as a cast net. You know what a cast net is? Yeah, like a. Yeah, I can throw them for bait, and you can get them really big. We catch shrimp with them sometimes. And he's got it like a plastic line thing,

and there's weights all the way around it. So he takes it, and he's like, and whoosh. What about those? And this huge, like 12 foot, like, net with plastic lands. And then when you pull, just like when you throw it in the water, it closes up. And it's like, your weights keep it on the ground, and it's scooping a whole yard full of shit. And then when he empties it, there's still

an octopus somehow in it. It's like, oh, come on. Hey, Randy. You're a fucking lunatic. Hey, you watch yourself. What is the rake for in this? To pick up any strays. They fuck you.

But he clearly knew about plastic. Doug Thompson is an entrepreneur in what most people would call a dirty business. Shit, shit, shit, shit. Well, I'm a shitman. I'm a shit netter. My dad was a shit netter. I'm a shit netter. I want to get into a business where it's just a constant flow of product.

Like it never stops. Well, I'll tell you the future. Dog shit. You want a future. fuck oil, fuck gold. Fuck property. Dog shit. He makes money cleaning up the yards of dog owners or non-owners who find evidence that they had unwanted visitors.

So it could be their dog shit, it could be a nobody, nobody knows dog shit, but you go out there, you net up that shit, you're talking profit. Does he go door to door, be like, you see any dog shit in the yard? He's throwing dog shit, but you go out there you net up that shit You thought that you're not as does he go door-to-door be like you see any dog shit in the yard He's throwing dog shit and some you make it up He's picking up dog shit from people's yards and then throwing it in others. I got my shit. I got my rake Okay, he's 34. So this is This is your way to This is something that a teenager might do to make some extra money back then?

Like 34? Like, I think it's too late to be in the dog shit business. It is. See, you guys didn't want to celebrate the 80s, but then you're hearing about entrepreneurial spirit like this, this is the backbone of the American economy. You heard that on. What?

You heard that on, talking to the sharks. Okay, so I got a fishnet and a bestnet I just throw a bunch of dog shit on the floor How many times does this happen to you sharks is that actual dog shit? It's human shit I couldn't find a dog but pretend it's from a dog Leave hold on. Let me tell about my margins. I want 10% of done closed I Can't wait to work with you, Mr. Cuban.

I'm Mr. Wonderful. Whatever. Thompson 34 recently distributed more than 6,000 flyers advertising his pet mess pickup service. Wow. At last, a service designed to give busy people a little more time. What the fuck? For relaxation without worrying about this thankless chore.

The flyers are ready. Thankless chore. At last. So far, he and his sister, Diane. Sister. Dorsa, 40, 40. She got into the dog chip business at 40. Look, dude, when your calling happens, you go.

Have six customers. Why are they in a paper? Six customers. Six thousand flyers. Six thousand flyers. Six customers. So we're in the hole a hundred grand. Have six customers and have inquiries from 30 other people. Hey, what the fuck are you guys doing?

We're picking up dog shit, are you interested? What's the net for? Check your yard. Yeah, we got a big net and we're loving shit. I guess my only inquiry is, how old are you? I'm 34, but don't worry, my sister's 40. We're crushing it out here. We got a net, a rake, and the shit gets everywhere

when we're done. That's our slogan, the shit'll be everywhere. Never seen it be netted before. Oh, fuck. At before. Finally. Finally. Jesus. So far, okay, six customers, 30 other people. He charges $10 a month for stopping by a one dog yard once a week. A two dog yard, $17, and a three dog yard is $23. I love animals, so it doesn't bother me. Well, you're not actually working with animals. Just so you know, you're working with shit.

Shit. A lot of animals. There's nothing about animals. She's got a bone. Shit. Shit. Plus, I've got a lot of ambition. Ha ha ha ha.

He does. Yes, he does, but in the wrong direction. No, he doesn't. This is a good legit, I guess. This is a service I could see. I was gonna say. Someone building an app for. I was gonna say.

Hey I got shit in my yard, bing, and the guy comes over crying, picks it up. Yeah, I definitely. There's a buck. Look, I would, like, that wouldn't be, like I don't mind going out and doing it, but it wouldn't be. You love it, you said. Yeah, I'll do it like, that wouldn't be, I don't mind going out and doing it, but it wouldn't be as bad.

You love it, you said. Yeah, I'll do it with my mouth. You find peace. But I guess for some people, it would be a great service, because you love dogs, and you don't want to deal with the shit, because the shit is the worst part of the dog. How much shit? Dog shit a lot.

But like, a lot. If you stay on top of the shit, it's not like, it's just like, oh god. Yeah, it is of the shit, it's not like oh god Away from me like if you're if you're sick or whatever slack motherfucker you sick though, I get sick once every two weeks I get pneumonia Seven times is here. They've been sitting pneumonia. Can we talk about this? Okay. Cats. Cats.

Way better. They shit in a box. Way better. One area. Way better. Scoop it once a day. By the way. Or you get the robot.

I was just gonna get the fucking, if you don't have the litter robot, get the goddamn. You back it. I'm back it, I'm opposed to all AI. But the litter robot is an absolute game changer. It is the best. I can't-

What's the code? Promo code? Promo code, Promo code, Jose poop. It is the best. You need a promo code on our past episodes, but I'm wondering if Lydia would like it. Love it. She's scared of everything. It, they get, listen, there's Jose, at first they're like, is this a UFO?

And then very quickly, they're in, they're gonna use it, and then your life is easier, way easier. Little robot. Anyway, I'm gonna try to teach my dog Pablo to go out on a surfboard. I don't know if that's connected. What type of dog is it? It is a Labradoodle.

It's a Swayze. Oh, he's one of those little ones. He loves the water. And I do have an 11 foot board. Yeah. So, I'm a glider. Who's going to clean up the dog poop from the ocean? That's the question.

Nobody. Does he have a little life jacket? I'll get him one. You got to get one for him. Yeah. Some of them like it. Yeah. They love surfing, some of them. I would love to get out there on your 11-footer with you. I

Want to be on your board, I've tried to get you I want to be on your board We won't do it. I want to be in a bjorn on your chest while we do it El Paso supports right not to wear coat and tie It's hot in El Paso like yeah It's hot in El Paso. Fuck yeah. Wearing a tie or a coat in El Paso's hot summer sun could get people in trouble with Mayor Jonathan Rogers. Oh my god, imagine a city with a dress code.

Who has more or less banned them both until Labor Day. Into it. Rogers has proclaimed, quote, that the coatless and tireless season shall be effective immediately and that the mayor or any members of council may enforce this proclamation with all immunity that pertains to their office by cutting off any and all ties worn at any and all occasions, formal and informal. Jesus Christ. Into it.

You know, Texas, just relax and just do something. Just say, yeah, let's not worry. Right, so El Paso, that's where the Alamo is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's that. Your anger is directed at them because you feel like it's just more of- Well, just say, you're not going to be like, we're going to cut off your fucking tie. Just go, yeah, you guys don't have to wear ties. And we're following. Our drum tech is from Texas, right? And he makes funny t-shirts and shit. And I told him I wanted to make him a t-shirt.

I had a design I wanted him to make. And it just says, welcome to Texas. We'll fucking kill you. Yes, that's right. And a little more straightforward. When I was in Texas, I went into this, I wore a mask into this convenience store and this guy goes, whoa. And he goes, why are you wearing that? And I go, I have COVID, which I didn't, but I go, I have COVID and he goes,

COVID's fake. And I was like, this guy, this guy wins. I was like, this conversation's over. Very effective. I love to wear a mask in an elevator in a hotel and the elevator opens up and I just look at people, I go, I think I have COVID. And they go, oh, oh, oh. They all stay up there. Do the fake cough.

Oh, this is sad. Staff sad as Stroh's shuts down oldest brewery. Stroh's Brewery. Richmond? No. No, Detroit. Damn it. I don't know. I can't find one story.

Nothing ever happened in Richmond. Right? Stop it. Now you're getting, you're getting, you're digesting. All right. There we go. I'm trying to find one. Now we're back. Uh, the Stroh... See, we do, like, there's lots of great stories from Richmond. Do us a favor. I'm trying to find one back This true

Like there's lots of great stories from do is a favorite This is our producer burns who who probably looked up most look in the camera and just tell him to go fuck himself Go fuck yourself. There you go. He did pick another Richmond paper from the 1800s, but there was nothing good This is better than that. This shit can't hold things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Send employees left Stro's flagship brewery for the last time Friday, ending the family-owned

company's 135 years of making beer in Detroit. So this is when, like, if a family business closed, we were like, wow, this is newsworthy. Yeah. Yeah. As opposed to now we're like, now it's an Amazon store. It's like we're going to a funeral, said Helen Sienkowski, who worked as a microbiologist at the plant for four years. I don't know if I need a microbiologist in my beer.

Work will always be there, but not like it was at Stroh's. Stroh's Brewery Company, the nation's third largest beer maker, announced in February that it would close its 71-year-old brewery on the eastern edge of downtown Detroit saying it was The least efficient of its seven plants and then and then stroze would just slit its own throat It's one of the I have to do that as a Stroze stroze stroze I have to do that as a podcast sometime because they they were the number one beer in America and they killed themselves It's a crazy. Did you ever do stuff about the Kors? I can't remember if you did. Yeah, we did.

Nazi wars. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, one of the guys from Kors killed himself in Virginia Beach. Oh shit. At a fancy hotel. Oh shit. Wow, really?

Yeah. Did he drink his own beer? No, he jumped out the window. Oh. Did he yell Kors on the way down? Of course I did! Head for the Rocky Swamp! Kors!

Yeah. It's a pretty famous hotel, like Fitzgerald has stayed there, and Wayne, and other people. Jeez, a lot of guys didn't make it. Yeah, yeah. Because maybe it's the hotel. Yeah. It's like the Shining.

This is a column, so this is a local column, I guess, Bob Green. Oh, good old, my neighbor. Bobby Green. Phone in sky is high livin'. As soon as I stepped onto the airplane, I knew I was in big trouble. There on the wall of the plane,

right next to the restroom was a sign, public telephone. Oh my God, right near the shitter. On a plane. Did they have these? They did, yeah, they had phones on planes. Well, you remember phones on planes, right? Where you could- You'd like swipe your card. You could swipe a card, it was in the seat,

and you could swipe a card. You'd have to be like, Diane, I'll be landing at five. But this is- I have a grenade in my handbag. Oh my god. This is when there was just one phone on the plane. Dude, I remember smoking on the plane.

Oh yeah. That was great. Horrifying. Fuck you, bring him back. I never. Bring it back. I don't even smoke. Not anymore.

I'm from Richmond. I only smoke when I fly. Dude, I smoked Marlboro Reds for years. See, I never got to experience. If we had smoking on planes, these fucking children running around being animals and jumping in my lap and wanting to play with my iPad, it'd be over. Because I'd just hand him a Marlboro.

Jesus Christ. I am taking easy, Jim Kirkman. I'm very on board with this. Are you? I'd be like, have a Marlboro. And the child would smoke, and it would calm down. Or you just put it out on the kid's hand. No.

Did I go too far? I want him to have a grit. Give your kid a Benadryl. Get him on the plane. We can't blow dart him. So there was this one, and so there was a public phone. Man, I don't know. Near the shitter.

Yeah, near the shitter. Which is right where you'd want it to be. Some guy's taking a huge crap in there. I've been aware that pay phones were about to come to the nation's airlines. Stories about the predicted advent of airborne phones have been appearing in papers for several years. So here on a Republic airline flight

between Detroit and Los Angeles, the paying phone was real. I felt myself begin to perspire. My pulse quickened. I am addicted to telephones day and night I am on the phone any person I know if I see a phone just sitting there. I pick it up and I make a call What are you wearing? The airplane telephones are designed to be billed directly to your personal credit card American Express Visa, whatever you put your card in a slot in the console

and you remove the wireless receiver and you take the receiver back to your seat and you make calls. Wait, what? So there's a phone up there and, because later on they would put him in the back of the seat. Yeah.

I vaguely remember that. Now you go and you get it from up there and then you bring the receiver back. The receiver? So it's like a walkie talkie, that kind of deal. Yeah, it's not doesn't have a cord, huh? Cuz I think they had I believe by 85 they had phones in your house that had the antenna and you have like an antenna Maybe the cordless That's what we're talking about the court Yeah, no, you're right.

You didn't know what it was called. Yes, the cordless, Gareth. I don't care for your attitude. It's funny. So this person is perspiring thinking about the phone. Yes. He says you get your bill a month later, rates are $750 for the the first three minutes regardless of where you are calling in the US Ludicrous and 125 for each additional minute. I mean, it's like remember that like the fucking long-distance bill

Oh, yeah. Oh my god. The long distance bill was crazy crazy learned when I had a the one of the first early cell phones So it wasn't just like, you can call wherever. So you would, when you're traveling, it would put you through all these different phone companies. So you would get a bill for having used nine phone companies on one call.

Oh, right, different providers. And they would just hammer you. You'd be like, oh. And I remember I got like a $700 or $800 phone bill once because I was traveling and making phone calls So this this whole thing with the one phone in the back by the shitter, right? That's where it is. Yeah The statute of limitations has got to be up on this but it reminds me I do you know that the The phones there they're back there where the airline attendants the the stewardesses or whatever, they pick them up and talk to like

Ground or yes, we were we came back from europe Uh, this was several years ago. I know is at least 10 years ago because i'm not gonna say his name Um, I won't say our guitar player willy adnors name but don't he And he was fucking shit faced and and we were coming into DC, right? and he picks up the phone that the The the Stewartus has talked to on and somehow he figured out to press which button so that would go Over the inner. Oh my god So here's like we were it was a little bit bumpy.

And then you just hear him, I saw him do it, and you hear over the intercom, oh boy. And then he went, people were like, what the fuck was that? What the fuck was that? We're coming in and still bumping, a little bit, a little bit, bumping. And he's like, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

The whole plane was like freaking the fuck out and we were dying laughing dying it was so funny oh boy that's so fucking great to imagine the pilot still miked up in there he used to do crazy shit. I mean, I used to too.

We landed in Heathrow and he stole one of those high vis vests. Our bus was pulled up in the front to load up and he just started directing traffic at Heathrow, like Trump. Oh my god, that's amazing. Yeah, back when you could still do that shit. He's just like right over here Yeah, just pointing people to go different Yeah, drunk is shit while we were like waiting for the rest of the crew Yeah, so good good, that's great. It's great to have someone in the band who lands hammered in his good bits

Oh, yeah, dude, it's helpful. Yeah We're in the in the air more another more five minutes the band who lands hammered in his good bits. Oh dude. That's helpful. Yeah. We were in the air more than another five minutes when I made my first call. Oh boy. First call. Oh boy. I put my credit card in the slot and took the phone back to my seat.

It was amazing. I spoke with colleagues at the newspaper, zooming through the airs at eight miles a minute, eight miles a minute, and the connection clear as can be. I made a brief conversation, hung up. Within minutes, though, I was hurrying back up the aisle to grab the phone again.

I'm in the sky! Yes. You guess where I'm calling from. I need to talk! Honestly. I dialed the number, had another great conversation. I found that I couldn't stop. Every time I went back to put the phone back,

I found another excuse to call someone He's like calling Taco Bell. Are you guys open? Yeah? It really is like one of these like I'm the gadget guy guys But it's like in reality if you were next to this guy be like sir. Yeah, I'm gonna break your fucking Fuck for your own good for everyone's good. I try to stop I really did I knew it was becoming expensive, but I could not let the phone stay in the resting place. This guy is just, is it a man, a woman?

That's a dude, yeah. He's predicting the future. He is, that's what I keep thinking of. He's predicting the future. Well, I also, there's something now where they're toying with the idea of you being allowed to do Zooms or FaceTimes or fucking phone calls on the future. Well, I also there's something now where they're like toying with the idea of you being allowed to do Zooms or facetimes or fucking phone calls. Do not do that on a plane with me. I agree.

They're gonna fucking ruin it. I completely agree. It's gonna be They will and it'll be it's already hell. It is hell. But it's like people have zero manners Well, there are times where like there will be someone talking on the plane now and you're just like, the fuck are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing? Like what are you doing? This is a shared, it's one of the actual redeeming factors

about flying is that the phones are kind of more docile than regular society. Yes, yes, because they, there is... One of the few things that's good about flying. Yeah, it's it's oh It drives me fucking nuts dude nuts It's like I don't need to hear the details of your fucking business meeting and it's a hair appointment Yeah, whatever. It's always the big businessman like shut the fuck up

But did Gabe send that over have Kathy resend the link and then let's get into that around 12 45 if I can Feeling the urge to throttle you right now cuz I know that yeah, yeah Shut up shut up. No, it can't happen. You know what if it does Randy air. Oh air Randy's smoking smoking. No kids. No kids. Phones in the shitter. Phones, no phones. The open access to the intercom. Yes, oh boy. Oh boy.

Finally, the flight attendant announced that we were beginning our descent into Los Angeles, and I returned the phone to its console. I hope you don't mind me saying this, said the man in the seat behind me, who had been watching this for the entire flight. Fuck you. There are hospitals for people like you.

I quickly tried to figure out how much the calls had cost me. Oh, it was so much. As close as I could determine, on the flight between Detroit and Los Angeles, I had made close to $200 in phone calls. This guy is such a fucking moron. In 85.

So that's like 600 bucks. This guy is trying to do the thing where he's like I'm like part of the few It's like you are such a prick Yeah, yeah as awful as that is every time He's a rich vendor, it's a local coachman there he's Bob green Bob green I'm gonna find you Bob Bob green Yeah, it's probably dead. As awful as that is. We're broke, homeless. He spent all his money on phone calls. He's talking into a soup can.

This is how he makes the excuse. As awful as it is, the bill very well could have been as much as 300. It wasn't. And in my next column, I will tell you why. A hint, it has to do with pilots. Ooh. What? So he could have spent more, but he didn't,

so the pilots must have also been making phone calls? I don't understand. By the way, nobody's clamoring from column two. No. No. Well. That's it, that's her? I think we did, yeah, it's over now.

That's a wrap, Aaron, do we go to time? Five, zero. Five, zero. 50. Oh, we're at 50? Yeah. Oh, we're at 50? Yeah. Five, we're at 50. All right, let's go.

So that was Bob Green, who you will find and hurt. Yeah. This is local news. A nine-year-old horse with a heart condition that caused the animal to faint in his stall has returned to show competition after receiving a pacemaker designed for you. Holy fuck.

What? For a show pony? Well it's better than the horse dying. It is way better. But it's also why not just let it, the treatment of horses. I guess it is the beauty is that the horse got a pacemaker. It does sound like, heart condition does sound

like a derby horse. Call me Bucky, believed to be the only horse in the world with a permanent pacemaker, failed to win a single ribbon at the Devon Pennsylvania Horse Show Friday, but easily cleared the low jumps. So that's nice. It's got a pacemaker. That's a nice story.

It's like a dick-chainy horse. White shot its friend in the face? Yeah. Big Mac, is there no Richmond stories? I got one, Bob Green. I don't, yeah I guess so. Air piece of shit. Yeah, there's really no one.

My mother got a car phone, like right when that tech was like huge, and called her mother in England on the car phone once for like a giggle. Hello! Yeah, basically it was a call, it was like one minute long. We were like, I wonder how much, it was like $450. Jesus fucking Christ.

She's like, mom, I'm calling you from the car. Oh my God. She's like, oh my gosh. I'll never forget the first time I was watching a TV show and Quincy had a phone and his fucking Quincy. Quincy mobile. Remember Quincy? No.

He had a phone and like a station, his like. His car. Do you know what Quincy was? It was a coroner who solved crimes. What, coroner who solved crimes? So what, he'd get the body and then be like, let's figure his car. Do you know Quincy was it was a coroner self-crimes a coroner So what do you get the body and then be like let's figure this out reverse engineer Yeah, I never could understand why the coroner was doing Jesus Christ Quincy just put the formaldehyde inside of the people. He's like, but who was she?

Who you ever wonder who's Quincy stop, but that shit was on for a while Is it a write-off if I put a car and phone in my car? the coroner Jack Klugman Okay, no club. Yeah, I don't I don't I mean he had a he had us the coroner station wagon And he had a great photo which had the cord you know it would have been great to do the odd couple is coroners Yeah, you've got blood everywhere. Yeah He's just throwing him

Yeah Polluted caves foul some homes comma schools. Well polluted. This is not a bowling green, Kentucky Of course, it's fucking bowling green What do you thoughts on bowling green? You've been there. I'm sure Bowling Green. What are your thoughts on Bowling Green? You've been there, I'm sure. Mm. We're not into it.

No. No. It was bad. We just spent like four days there, and we were like, this town is bad. It's just franchises. You guys went to Bowling Green? We had like four days off.

And we didn't know where to go, and the cheapest So we were like, let's just go where it's cheap. The cheapest decent hotel was in Bowling Green. And that's why, because. And we just like, every day, we were like, tonight we're not doing Chipotle. And then we'd be like, fuck it Chipotle. Do you know what we like to do now

when we're on tour on the day off? And this started in Florence, South Carolina. All you have to do is whatever town you're in, is Google, is X a good place to live? Okay. is X a good place to live. And you will get a huge, just this range of invective of people being like, no, this sucks, no, it's awesome,

how could you ever like, you know? It's amazing, I highly recommend it. And then does that determine if you're gonna do a day off there or not, or you just like to know the town gossip? No, no, no, no, we're there. I just like to know. See what everybody feels about it. Yeah, see what everybody feels. On a day off, do you do anything?

Or do you just chill? Oh yeah, I always do something. You do, yeah. Well, I mean, if you're in Florence, South Carolina, there ain't much to do. That's what we found in Bowling Green. It's very much like trains, stuff. Yeah, that's what Bowling Green was.

It was like the town of franchised fast food. But there, apparently there is a downtown Florence, South Carolina, which I did not make to. Yeah, no, we were furious. But do that next time when you're- Yeah, that's a good idea. Or is this safe? Take the town and Google it safe? You'll get hilarious.

Like some of you are like, it's fucking great! Some of you are like, oh no! I was shot while riding this! Exactly. Winding for miles beneath the streets of this southern Kentucky city is the Lost River Cave. What? A haven for bats, crayfish, and poison chemicals. Bro, we were too busy on land.

You missed the last part. Bats, crayfish, and poison chemicals. Bro, we were wasting our time on man. This is how Batman started. For generations, residents have used the area's underground stream as a natural sewer to flush away. A natural sewer is like such an American turn of phrase. A natural sewer. Natural spring.

A trash hill. Fucking absolutely crazy idea. Look, spring. A trash hill. What an absolutely crazy idea. Look, it's the trash forest. Welcome to the trash forest. It just goes into the watery underground. Oh, beautiful. Just as God intended. Like gasoline and industrial solvents.

That's crazy. Now the sewer is backing up. Officials say the 40,000 residents are threatened by an environmental problem Found nowhere else in the country. See this is the thing when you're water Shit under grass all the liquid nightmares bats Yeah, and crayfish right raised in a fucking environment of shit. This is where chud came from. Yes now

The the thing is it's like when you see stuff like East Palestine like when the train derails and just the water like all these man-made disasters that are ruining our Ecosystems and stuff it like go back to this and you're like they were doing it They we should have been like these 40,000 people should have just killed an oil executive ecosystems and stuff. Go back to this and you're like, they were doing it. We should have been, these 40,000 people should have just killed an oil executive. But instead we were like, hope it doesn't come here. But the 40,000 people are the ones doing it. Yes.

Well, but there's also gas being leaked. I think it's mostly them dumping their own stuff into the natural sewer. I still believe that that- Into the natural sewer. Goodbye, gasoline, into the watery grave. It's very much like, it's like Willy Wonka. Welcome to the natural sewer. Augustus, no!

Whatever we do here, we'll end up in the textbooks, said Nick Crawford, a geologist at Western Kentucky University. Why is he proud? Chemicals entering the cave. We are going to prove that people are fucking assholes. Gas is water. Chemicals entering the cave stream apparently are being trapped underground where they generate

toxic fumes that rise through crevices to the surface. So it's just poisonous gas coming up. Probably explosive too, I would think. The fumes have been found in about two dozen homes an apartment building and two schools around bowling green Why does a house smell like the natural sewer? I don't know but I like it. That's nice It is the largest city in America built entirely atop a cave system What the fuck that first of all that is why you guys did not have a good time I was yeah, that's actually tracks very much for what we were seeing. Yeah

We're just Tests show the fumes contain chemicals linked to cancer and several other human ills The The CDC called in to evaluate the health for us CDC Yeah, and it's and some we used to have it's done reported that the chemicals pose risks. What's the CDC? Yeah. And it's something we used to have. It's done. Reported that the chemicals pose no immediate threat. Oh, the CDC doing its thing.

Yeah, it's fine. Go back to work. Shut up. Breathe deep. It's fine. But the agency issued a public health advisory to qualify the city for federal superfund cleanup money. Okay.

This is classic CDC. So they come in to help so they can get superfund money and clean it up, but they're also like, it's fine everybody, just go about your day. We can't have people not working and making things. Keep going to work. Keep buying, keep buying, kids in schools. That's right, consume, consume, consume.

That's a good. The advisory was the first involving a health threat from chemical pollution. Wow, well that's awesome. That's gonna happen a lot more. That should be on like when you enter the city. That should be on like the billboard as you enter the town.

Bowling Green, the first cancer induced town from fumes underground. We really fucked it up. Bowling Green, although we did not feel like the chemical levels were high enough to have harmed anybody so far. It's certainly Continues Lindberger of the CDC that's not how it works. Well, no one's come no one's vomiting blood

No one has cancer from that Children with a third arm growing out the forehand. Yeah, by the way now It's like people are like my nose is bleeding my water's brown and we're like shut the fuck up shut up Fine, just boil it And a very mild little health officer With the Warren County Health Department says about half a dozen of the affected residents have complained of symptoms including headaches Watering of the eyes burning of the nose and throat remember when the city said that no one's a fan. No, it's There's been really no one harmed? No, it's no big deal.

But even when you read that, nobody has been. Read it close. The symptoms usually go away after the area's ventilated. Ah! Well, when we blow around. Open the window! There's more coming in from the winder. Close the winder then.

A more direct threat than the chemicals is the danger of an explosion posed by the concentration of gasoline in the fumes. Told ya, told ya, told ya it was gonna be explosive. Underground crayfish grenades. That would be the best. They could have crawled up there, do, do, do, do. I don't know how that ended up in my handbag.

I was just trying to go through security. Gasoline levels found in several homes have approached the point of explosiveness. Congratulations, ma'am. Your house is legally explosive gas wise He also noted that bowling green has a history of mysterious house explosion Put on some spooky music I'm gonna put a flashlight under my chin until you want about the bowling green bombers. I've been lighting candle real quick

Well damn it. This place digs light a candle damage Jimmy's house blew up we don't There's been a lot of that going around and I blame ghosts Jesus Two homes blew up in 1969 with one Homes and we're like it should be fine. Yeah with one knocking three nearby homes off their foundations That's been going around there's a bunch of that going around The day of a fatal blast residents said several homes reported smelling gas, but no one made the connection Crawford says There I don't know. I don't know what I don't know. You smell gas and then a house blows up

But who knows what the fuck happened and I'm gonna see if the mayor will give me a phone in the car In 1981 residents of five houses in a nearby subdivision were evacuated Temporarily why officials ventilated their homes of gas fumes. Fuck me. But it was not until late 1983 that the fume problem became widespread. This time residents were complaining of something that smelled like solvents, not gasoline. So this is definitely not, this is not made by the people, this is definitely.

I think it's both. Yeah, okay. There's definitely someone dumping shit in here. Solvents does real pollutants. Solvents makes me think. Yeah, there's definitely salt Solvents makes me think yeah, there's no way this is just people dumping shit in now. This is yeah Yeah, real. Yeah, George diamond remembers the day the fumes reached his house I was working on in my shop in the basement and smelled something like paint thinner They made my eyes water and burn my nose It got worse then my house exploded the gases gradually filled up the house and refused to go away

I'm a gas exorcist. I would have to sleep with two handkerchiefs under my pillow to stop my eyes from running Wait, I don't understand the logic behind that I'm hoping the allergy fairy comes. Two hankies under the pillow. My eyes are dry. What the fuck? It's magical. Oh fuck me. Are your eyes running? Put two handkerchiefs underneath the pillow.

I did, but they have been running still. Diamond says officials from the gas company and fire department visit his house. Nothing to see here. Repeatingly. You're fine. Did you put handkerchiefs under your pillow? Oh, yes, sir.

Before they discovered a crevice along the basement wall. There it is. Where K's fumes were entering the house. So I don't know if calling it K fumes is fair. K fumes. Well, what you got here is cave fumes. So you've developed a butthole on your wall from the cave colon. Cave fumes, said no one ever.

Can you imagine finding that out there? You're living in this house. You're living there. You're living in a poison house. And you're just like, I am in a poison house that is on the verge of exploding. And then they're like, the problem in a poison house that is on the verge of exploding. And then they're like, the problem is cave fumes, as God intended. The officials ran a plastic pipe from the crevice to his roof where a fan was connected to draw the fumes up and away from the house.

Where are you just going to vent, boys? We got to solve. We're going to vent the cave fumes out of this, my brother. Un-fucking-believable solution. We've created a tail pop for your home. We gotta solve un-fucking- We're gonna vent the cane fumes out of this mabugger....un-fucking- believable solution. We've created a tail pop for your home. That's how we'll handle it. We gave you a roof muffler.

Can't let it convert it for you living room. Yeah, yeah. It worked. Diamond's wood shop smells like sawdust again, but he is concerned that the effects of the fumes may- That he might fucking explode? That he's just got a fuse? There's sawdust everywhere, fumes.

But I'll be honest, the fact that that even happened has always sat with me a little improper. I feel there's some permanent damage to my upper respiratory system. Fucking A. Similar events have been installed in two elementary schools where fumes are found. Jesus Christ. God damn it.

It is so infuriating It's so fucking always going on and now and now all the rich fucks all the the chuppers and all these fucking they're like Let's get rid of that little let's just get rid of those little Anything we're wasting so much on little pipes. This is what they want to get rid of So School officials say five classrooms where the gas was detected will remain closed until the air is tested and then what we hear is Math scores have gone way down What's wrong with the youth?

Officials are trying to figure out how to get the chemicals out of the caverns. Oh my god I know how it can take several months and cost at least $250,000. That's fucking nothing. And they won't do that. They won't do that. That's a lot of money. Scientists are studying the feasibility of using a huge fan to suck the fumes.

We are the dumbest. We are so, we are, we're like monkeys with cable. All right. Apparently two separate cave systems are involved. There's another one. Wait, so I want to read that. Let me read that CDC quote again, just so we have it down. CDC called an evaluate the health risk reported that the chemicals pose no immediate threat.

Well, that's a quote from the same advised the public health advisory. You can tell, just write in the article, you can tell that there's no immediate threat. The CDC has always existed to keep people working, it is not to keep you healthy. Well that's cool, and what a great note to end on. We're all going to die. Yeah, we're all gonna die, and just think of how much worse

it's all gotten. This was 85 or whatever I'm gonna go back to my poison house. Yeah Yeah, well Randy thank you for joining us thanks for giving me the fucking cave fumes welcome no good. Yeah awesome I'm not feel like I'm gonna explode. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna explode. Okay, cool. You guys are awesome Well go to Randy Bly dotnet Some guy had the dot-com. Yeah. Fucker. No, no, I got it. You did? Yeah. You just stuck with the dot-net. Well, it was built as dot-net and then someone else had a dot-net. Does it reroute? Yeah. Okay. Did you notice what happened with the sign behind Randy? No. No.

Swapped it from Burr. Burr. Burr's out. All of a sudden. Thank you, Randy, and screw you, Dave. Yeah, screw me. And thank you, Aaron. And I'd just like to say one more time, we're all gonna die. Yep. Thank you. There you go. There's the headline. Gobble gobble. Some of these days You'll miss me, honey

Some of these days We have partnered with Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch a five-part animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, I can't remember, of the Rube, you can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube. It really genuinely kicks ass and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one so go there and watch the Rube.