The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 117 - The Past Times with Lee Camp

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

Dave Anthony picks a newspaper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds. For the second week in a row, they are joined by Lee Camp of Unredacted Tonight Redbubble Merch

We're going on tour and this is it's been a while March 2025 is when our tour is happening. First of all, we're going to Tempe, Arizona Maybe our best city of all time. It's the best that is on March 16th And then we go to Albuquerque, New Mexico, maybe our favorite city ever. We really never love the city We've ever gone to that's on March 17th and then we go to Oklahoma City, which is our faith We often say that it's our number one. Yeah, it's our number one. The best city I've ever been to.

That's on March 18th. On March 19th, we're going to be in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Our favorite city without question. And then we head to Dallas, Texas on March 20th. Our favorite city. That's why there's never been a better city. If you don't like it, you're a Dal asshole. Thank you.

And then we go to Houston, Texas on March 23rd. The best city. Which is by far the best city. And then we end our tour in Austin, Texas on March 22nd at the Cap City Comedy Club. It's the best city. In the entire world. Number one city in the world.

You can get tickets at dolloppodcast.com slash tour. All right, everybody, welcome to the pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked up by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I've never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week. The Great Lee Cain. Welcome back, Lee. Thank you. I've missed you guys. Nervous? Very, very, very. This is big. We gotta reach. We gotta reach. Lee, you have your show Unredacted is now on YouTube's.

Yeah, so it's on YouTube. It's a little bit everywhere. I've brought back my show, my TV show, my comedy news show redacted tonight, but it's called unredacted tonight. Yeah, completely independent this time. Is this one Russian misinformation or is this not Russian?

We did have one person tell us that we had on a Russian misinformation. I did eight years of Russian misinformation and now I've done. I finished my term in the gulag. Good. And and this is I've been I've been gone from RTA for three years and this is completely independent. And it's just me losing a lot of money is what it is now. Oh, great.

Is it true in Russia that Google's called Gulag? Yes, that is OK. I thought so. When does the show, where can people find it? Because I watched the last episode and as always, I'm just tremendously impressed with with what you do, but also write all of it. And it's great. Aw shucks.

It is it airs 7 p.m. Eastern, 4 p.m. Pacific on Thursdays. What's your YouTube's? Yeah, it's youtube.com slash, we'll call it moment of clarity. It's, it depends. Okay. Back on the YouTube, back on the YouTube. It's youtube.com slash moment of clarity. But. After everything, everything YouTube has done to you, you're. Well. You have no choice. There's still the biggest platform. I know.

Yeah. Race for those who don't know, they erased the redacted tonight YouTube channel, which had a quarter million subscribers and all the videos are gone and it's banned around the world. So, yeah, that's cool. You know, energy is up. We're feeling good. You know what?

You could get it back. Just reach out to Trump. Yes. Yeah, because he knows. I'm telling you. Let me just, in case YouTube is an issue, linktree.com slash LeeKamp. Just go there.

OK. There we go. That's better. All right, Lee. Well, I don't know if you remember, but we like to guess what year this newspaper might be from. Seems like you didn't. But you get to guess first. I mean, again, it could be anytime, really. Anytime. I would favor when America existed.

America existed, okay. Not Turtle Island. You mean? Could be the Turtle Island Times. OK. I'll go 1898. Great guess. It's a great guess, Lee. How is that a great guess? What are you talking about? He's right in the zone. What zone?

He's in the zone. He's right in the zone, dumbass. Just say your really bad answer, and we'll move on. 1908, 10 years later. That's wrong. You're wrong. Gareth. You are wrong. Is he right? Yeah, he's basically right. I'm wrong. That's a leave now, right? No. The year year is 1891. Oh, alright. So, he's right. He's not right. He was closest. Dave, I've literally gotten it right two times, Lee.

The reaction's been less than that. Well, the- Not a big hug and high five? No, Dave's not a way to go. You can get the number right, but if the vibe is wrong- Makes no sense. It's called tough love, Gareth. Where's the love part?

It's just tough. Thursday, April 23rd, 1891, the Sioux City Journal, Sioux City, Iowa. So this is going to be very Native American. It's going to favor the Native Americans. This is the Turtle Island Times. This is Turtle Island Times. This is, yeah, this is one of the many cities we named after the people that we killed. The first head. Yes, liberated. The first headlight. Well, it's a three headliner. The mayor took a drink.

He said it. He said it was cider, but Des Moines. Des Moines Marshall says it was loaded. Death lurking in the water. Wait, lauded or whatever? Is that what it is? Lauded? Loaded.

How's that spelled? Loaded like a loaded gun? L-O-A-D-E-D. Oh, so he drank a loaded... Does loaded mean alcohol? It must mean like a ton of... Yeah. I know you guys have said this before on these episodes.

There was not much to talk about in the news back then. That's correct. That's absolutely correct. They'll get you though. Sometimes they'll be like horse murdered man and you're like whoa! But for the most part no. It is like if you do time for this time. The mayor took a drink. The mayor took a drink. It's a big news. It's big news. The local papers are filled with sensational articles today insinuating that Mayor Campbell was either drugged or drunk yesterday afternoon and giving publicity

to all sorts of sensational rumors. How great is it to drug the mayor? Oh. If you could pull that off. We should do it all the time, all mayors. Although the mayor of New York seems drugged pretty often. I would not say that the mayor of LA seems not drugged. Yeah.

So the fact- Is this saying that someone else drugged the mayor? Yeah, that's actually that's probably his camp floating that out there because he was shitfaced just like, yeah, you know, my wife goes both ways. People are like, all right, Mr. Mayor, it's time that they were like putting his coat on him. Smell my finger. Is that part of the it's been in his bottom. Oh, I was wondering if Is that part of the?

It's been in his bottom. Oh, okay, I was wondering if that was part of the mayor character. Yeah, that's part of the, oh yeah, yeah, that's mayor's system. Oh, okay, I thought you were saying that. But also, if we weren't on Zoom, potentially. Zoom is introducing a smell your finger option.

That's crazy, that under settings. Yeah, settings, yeah. The facts seem to be that Mayor Campbell and Alderman Smith went over to the Fifth Ward about 10 o'clock yesterday morning to look for dumping ground for look for dumping ground for dumping ground. Okay. They were accompanied by James O'Callaghan and James Hagerman. They drove all to the bottom on the East side, inspecting different locations, and they drank a glass of sweet cider at a grocer's named Johnson without unpleasant effect. Later they drank a glass at a little grocery store.

The unpleasant effect is such a crazy way to be like. That's how you say it. They felt it. I know. They're feeling good. How does one pick the best dumping ground? Is it just like Native American people? Dave, walk them through it. I mean, especially, especially. How does one pick the best dumping ground? Is it just like Native American people live there?

I mean, especially, especially. Dave, you always say you wanna see a lot of road signs and barbed wires, that's not true. Yeah, yeah, I wanna see, well, roadkill and I wanna see dead animals. Yeah. Okay. I wanna see, I want, the main thing is when you're standing there and it's very quiet,

you wanna see a paper blow through. You know? Shush tumbleweed. Yeah, it's almost like nature saying this is your spot. Yeah, it's sweet. It's a nice way to get away. And maybe a hobo taking a piss. He sometimes tells his wife

that he's gonna go to the dump and he'll just go to a landfill and smoke cigarettes for hours, he's told me off air. I gotta think about stuff. And the dump's the best place to do that? Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, plus they give you a lollipop if you act like a child.

Why don't you keep reading? People probably don't, that's an old, that's a thing that us old people will remember is, what? If you went to the dump, they'd give you. Is that actually true? Did you do a lollipop with a dump? Yeah.

That is absolutely fucking bonkers. Maybe it was just our dump. I thought that was a dump thing. See, they give my kid- There's a guy who ran the dump and he'd give out lollipops to the kids. He was trying to kill you. You know, I was with my dad.

My dad was probably trying to kill me. Yeah, sure. See, they give, the only place around here that gives my kid a lollipop is the wine store, which is nice, because it's like the haggard dad comes in with the kid to get some whiskey, and the kid gets a lollipop. It's lovely. It's a family. There you go. We know your dad's not there. Have this.

Absentee father tastes sweet. You like cherry? I want a dad. Have a cherry one. You know what are interesting things is when you tell a story of your childhood from the seven days and midway through, you realize, oh, that wasn't everybody. Or how about this, where you're like, oh, that's abuse. Like, you'll be going through it. They always put me in a cold tub to just teach me a lesson.

And everyone's like, what? You're like, remember when you were a boy and your dad would throw you in a cold tub just to kind of teach you a lesson? You'd get so cold, you'd shiver and turn blue. Do you remember when they'd slap you in a boy your dad throw you the cold tub just to kind of teach you a lesson You know, you'd shiver and turn blue. Do you remember when they'd slap you in the wet sock when you said their first name, right? Yeah, did everyone else have a timeout attic where they could lock it from the outside and you'd have to go there So later they took later they drank a glass at a little grocery store. Oh, I already said that. After which, oh no, I didn't. This is a different one. Later they drank a glass at a little grocery store

at the south end of East 8th Street, after which the mayor became deathly sick and sleepy, vomiting and falling into a stupor. So they're framing drunk as death's door. Also, did they notice the reporter behind them shot down every glass of liquor they had? That's so funny. By the way, if you're drinking at 10 a.m., it means you haven't stopped, not that you're beginning. Potentially, for sure. Yeah.

Potentially, for sure is my new album, by the way. They changed drivers at the stable a little afternoon and returned to the stable between two and three. The marshal, learning the condition of the mayor, got into the hack and drove about the city till evening. And by that time, the mayor had recovered sufficiently to be taken home. They sober drove around for hours.

That's what they did to Yeltsin. Lee's guy. They totally did that to Yeltsin. They'd be sitting on the tarmac with Yeltsin. They'd be like, how close is he to being able to do the handshake on the road? We're about five to six hours away from him to be handshakeable. And then he doesn't even do the handshake. He just dances. He came out there and like give him the finger. They'd be like, that's all handshake, he just dances. He came out there like

give him the finger they'd be like that's all we're going to get today. He got the finger in dance. Yeah he just come out and be like, I want to see my nut sack. Forrest, get in the limo. You know they do that same thing with Trump because he's high off spray tanner or whatever. But you're doing him the favor of assuming the whole body looks like that. Yeah. I refuse to believe that when he gets naked, it's just pale and shitty and pink, and then the face is just the color of a pancake. Listen, you turn that body orange,

it doesn't change how disgusting it is. No. Well, especially if you're lifting up his titties. Mr. President, can we spray orange under your tits? No, but he, it doesn't though, because he puts it on himself and so there's just, there's just areas of white. Like, yeah, his back is like completely white with like pamphlets. No, he sprays it on a pole and then rubs his back against it.

Like how a bear itches himself. Yeah. Oh, joy. Marshall Stutzman says this morning, Mayor Campbell was not intoxicated. He is the guy picking up the pieces. This is the press secretary, basically. Yeah. He is the victim of one of the most damnable plots ever concocted. When I heard of the affair, I went in and found him lying in the hack

as pale as a cloth. His eyes were clear and he had no appearance of having been drinking. He was simply intensely sleepy. That is... That is... The dildo on the dastardly plot was to follow him around pretending he was drinking.

Well, to say he's drugged basically or he's just super tired. It is it always amazes me how long the bullshit's been going on. Because if there's any time to just be like, yeah, the mayor got shit faced, and that would come across as relatable, I would imagine it's like 1898. You'll be like, Fuck, yeah, that's our guy. This was this was a big temperance time was it In places like Iowa for sure. Yeah.

It was headed into prohibition, right? What was it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Prohibition. When was prohibition? I think it's the 20s.

Oh, that's what I thought. Okay. But it took a while to get cooking, but places, places leading up to the national one. Yeah. But if you can imagine this happening with something else today, leading up to the, the national ban There were a state bans and local bands strange Have you guys ever talked about the fact that the US government poisoned?

Certain like alcohol shipments because they knew people were stealing them like Sterne or so. Yeah I haven't done that. Yeah, and so they they poisoned some of them and really killed people. Yeah Well, they weren't doing an illegal thing, Lee. So fucking crazy. Kill them. Maybe you shouldn't be drinking. Did you ever think about that? That'll teach him.

His days of drinking are done. He's passed away. You've got a fair point there. I told him I knew he'd been drugged. Not wishing to alarm his wife, I had him driven around till evening. Well, that's what you do when a man's been drugged. You drive around all night so his wife doesn't see. Absolutely. That's what they say the first thing to do is

elevate his legs and drive him around for five to six hours. And in 1898, what kind of vehicle are we talking about? Is this horse and buggy driving around? Yeah, it's a horse and yeah. The horses are like, we passed this place. Where's this guy going? Can you drunk drive on a horse and buggy? I think that's fine. You have to be able to. That's fine. I mean, imagine the first fucking crash in a horse and buggy from being drunk. Buddy, how did you not? He saw us coming like a mile and a half away. And the horse. The horses are trying to stop.

Yeah, right. Go. How did you hit that at three miles an hour? Go. If he had been intoxicated, he would have been all right after vomiting. This is some investigative stuff, man. And admission. Digging deep on this.

He's just digging a hole for the mayor. Stop talking. After getting over the attack, he showed every sign of having just come out from under the influence of opium or some drug of that sort. Okay, now you're not helping him. Yeah. Well, he clearly I mean, yeah, just like alcohol.

Yeah. Mayor Campbell is at his office today, apparently as well as usual. He said, quote, some of my overzealous friends, and I believe they are real friends, are making a mountain out of a molehill in this matter. I hired the carriage of O'Callaghan and Hagman, who is a German newspaper correspondent. I drank two glasses of cider, which did not agree with the medicine I had been taking for the grip. So he had the flu. The grip? Okay. God, so good. Look, if there's one day, one day to take some hits from the flask, it's the dump site picking day. Yeah.

That's the day to do it. You get to get shitfaced on the day you. It's the dump site picking day. That's yeah. That's the day. Yeah. You get to get shitfaced on the day you're looking for a dump. I also like that he so he can admit to having some, but just not getting hammered. Yeah, he drank two glasses. He's saying there's no way two glasses of cider got me drunk. I'm an alcoholic. It wouldn't hit me. It would hit me like that.

I'm saying he was already drunk when he got there in the morning. Most of the time, it made me deathly sick and sleepy. And that is all there is to it. And this talk of a conspiracy to drug me is without a particle of foundation. There was no room for any crooked work. I took a smoke, but when offered whiskey, declined, saying I never drank. Right. So this is when cider is not drinking, but whiskey is drinking.

These are the days. These are the days. It's like Game of Thrones, the amount of wine where they're like more water. And Lee, do you remember the the ads that they had when they had that? Let's stop people from drinking period which was 70s 80s or something But no, but the guy would be there as a guy that would come on and one of these little promos and he would say I was drinking I was drinking, you know 18 24 beers a day and thinking to myself. It's just beer

And everyone was like what's happening right now you were 24 that's like a hobby And everyone was like, what's happening right now? You were drinking how much? 24. That's like a hobby. That's a real like that's something you compete. That's like competitive boozing. Like you're trying to win something. Yeah. I took OK, I got that.

Oh, Callahan tasted it and smelled it and remarked that the stuff would kill a man and threw it under the seat. That's not how you do that. That's how you do it. You don't go like, that'd kill a man. You're like, that'd kill a horse. You don't just say what you are. Like, you gotta be hyper, you gotta escalate comedically.

That'd kill a me. You want a rhino. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You're like, that'd take down a family of giraffes. OK, that would feel like your notes on this story is that O'Callaghan wasn't good enough with comedy. I don't love the quips. He threw it out of the seat, but the party twice asked me to drink after I got sick.

Did I know that they drove to the livery stable and changed drivers? No, but I went to sleep in the back and that may have been done while I was asleep. Sir, stop talking. That's my statement. Did I need to eat my throw up with my hands like I was drinking water from a waterfall? No.

Did we mention his publicist was smashed when he was saying this stuff? Smith and O'Callaghan deny any intention to disgrace the mayor. So they're putting on the fucking the cab company or whatever it is. Okay. So it's either he was, he's saying he wasn't drugged, but he also wasn't drunk. He had two ciders that disagreed with his medication. Yeah, that's it. Was this a time when being drunk as the mayor would have gotten him fired as the mayor? It would have gotten him in a lot of trouble because I think he was saying he's not a drinker. It's so classic.

And he's still not a drinker because he wasn't drinking whiskey, he was just drinking cider, which is essentially like what babies drank back then. That's what comes out of your mom's teeth. Just put it in the baby bottle. Right. Yeah. And now some international news. Right away. So really not a lot going on. Nope, that was it.

That's the entire thing. I guess not. All right, now to Belgium. The latest from Chile. Great Britain has trouble in Africa, Portugal in turmoil. Fava at home. We're going to read all that. I love Great Britain has trouble in Africa. What a good way to put it. Yeah. One's a continent.

Yeah, just like it does. It just Africa just doesn't matter. Yeah, some struggles over there. I don't want to get into it, but there's been some land pushback from certain people. Captain Pratt of the Bark on the Way, which arrived from Caleta, Boona, Chile, says the rebels had everything their own way when he left there. The chief source of revenue for the government, the nitrate mines. It's a nitrate mine. That I don't know. Okay. Is in the hands of the insurgents and President

of Balmaceda and the cabinet are unable to secure money. Their friends are becoming disheartened and their towns are being burned. Yeah. Well, that's very disheartening. Those two are tied together. Okay. Nitrate is a chemical compound of nitrogen and oxidants. So is this the time when there was like lacking nitrogen in the soils? Maybe. Yeah. Maybe they need nitrates. Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's still a thing, right?

Gareth knows exactly what we're talking about. This is one they were trying to, is my mic on? This is when they were trying to get a much more nitrate inside of the soil. Yeah. Can you tell us a little more about that? Yeah. Yeah. So they went into the soil. I mean, my mic work and I can't even tell. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So, so they went into the, so a lot of the far and thank you for tossing that this way, Lee. Yeah. Yeah. So they went into the so a lot of the farm and thank you for tossing it this way. Yeah, yes. Sorry about that.

So a lot of the soil they were discovering was low on a lot of minerals and compounds. I said, so they're a lot of compounds. They found a lot of nitrate in the mines. I will in one second. I got to get going in one minute here, guys. But but so they they were discovering really all right. I I gotta take a walk. Why are you sweating so much? I don't know. I'm wearing this pap. It's inside. Um, so yeah, I should go but there was a lot of nitrate in the soil Finish this story. I'm gonna take this call be right back

Why'd you just lean over huh, by the way, I'm on the toilet you You said you're gonna you had to somewhere to go and they just leaned over well to count I have a council here I'm on the toilet. You said you were going to, you had to somewhere to go and then you just leaned over. Well to count, I have a council here. I have my council. I'm talking to my council. My hand, I have a hand. Hand council. Right hand man.

Yeah, exactly. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah. Their friends are becoming disheartened. That was close. Am I not muted? No, you nailed that. Their friends are becoming disheartened

and their towns are being burned They have virtually imprisoned the president and his disgusted army The words they're using are amazing. It's like they got they got to the D part of the And those residents who have been compelled to stand by them are sadly in need of food and ammunition I mean this sounds like they're fucked. Everything's being burned down and they don't have any guns and food. Like it's not good.

Things are bad. Things are not good. It's written in a way that I'm supposed to be on the side of the oppressors. And I'm thinking good for them. Yes. Burn, yeah, that's what I'm thinking. No, that's a very common theme with our papers.

Yeah. And then here's Portuguese. Fear of Portuguese revolution, a correspondent of the Times of Madrid, says that grave anxiety is felt over the state of affairs in Portugal. He expresses fears that a revolution is about to break out in which event the lives of foreigners will be endangered. Oh no. So what we already know based on the skew of the last one that this probably means there's some probably occupying people who are going to try to take their place back would be my

guess. Oh, so that's what you mean by foreigners? Yeah, they're like, yes, the colonists, whatever. I think they're saying that people who are there from like Britain. Right, but that's sort of like when they're like, when it's like, they'll be like, listen, everyone in the embassy, leave Iran or like something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That looking good for us anymore.

Yeah, yeah. Because I heard foreigners, I was like, you mean the tourists are in trouble? That's what you like. Well, it could be like some British people like, gosh, I was by the pool this morning and his blokes come up and he's told me, you know, and they're like, well, why are they so mad now? All of a sudden these people aren't giving me our turkey legs. This has been horrible. This is the difficulty Britain's having in Africa. Yes, exactly, same thing. I tell you, all of a sudden the milk has turned with these people. For some reason they want a living wage and a home again. It's awful what they've done to us. We're gonna be out of

nitrates by June. We need to get more bloody nitrates. They eat it. The British are so sickly they eat nitrates. That's nice. That's what happened to the teeth. That's nice. Munchin' on that joint. It's our fluoride. The Crow Cleveland ate. Gareth, you want to take a guess? Uh-uh. No? It didn't taste good,

and he partially denies swallowing it. Cleveland is a guy? Yeah, ex-president Cleveland. Oh, motherfucker. Who had an opportunity to read his views on the silver question as printed yesterday said this morning to a reporter, quote, I have read the report and it seems to me that it has been embellished and expressions put into my mouth never uttered by me. While some of the opinions may be regarded as partly my views upon the subject of silver coinage, yet there are many other expressions credited to me that would require considerable weeding out before the supposed conversation could be strictly turned an accurate report."

You know we're disappointed. I mean, isn't it amazing just how differently presidents spoke back then? Like, didn't Trump be like, didn't say it, lies, lies, lies. That'd be it, that'd be the whole. Well, the guy who said it's an idiot, first of all. He lied. Idiot. He ain't pro.

Well, we all used to, like, the whole, anytime you're- The whole culture. Yeah, everybody's, like, doesn't speak as well. We're dumber, we're dumber people. Well, you also used to You also used to get busted. Totes, totes, totes. Like, but you also, they also used, like you do miss the days when they would get caught

and be like, god damn it, I got to resign. Now you're like, they're not going to do anything. They'll just simply be like, fuck you. No, I didn't do it. And if I did, fuck off. I didn't do it. And if I did fuck off, I didn't do it. Oh, you can prove it. All right. Fuck you. Through oranges at them. Finally, they spelled it,

Panama, California, but it's Pomona. Sure. So we'll give them that. The presidential party. I'm going to is it too late? Let them know. The presidential party. You should write to them, Dave. I'm going to. Is it too late? Let them know. Is it too late? Dave's in the next week one.

Wait, what is time? If we could write letters to these people. Oh, so good. Letter from the future. And maybe the Sioux City Tribune will write a retraction. Yeah. Oh my God, we've got a letter from the future. It's correcting our spelling.

That's all it is. Great Scott. The presidential party made a short stop here this afternoon. Only two hours notice had been given, but the whole town turned out and the president made a brief sweet two hours. Oh my God. Okay, that is so. So they they fucked up. They fucked up. They must have. You don't just all a president just also goes somewhere with two hours notice and give a speech.

Maybe he's trying to find a slider. Trying to get him. He might be hammered. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like Trump would do that, though. That feels like that. Now, because he sells tickets. It was all things about making money off the rallies. Yeah, that's true. And he only speaks in places where

he can be on a stage that's 900 feet from any other living human being because he doesn't want to be near anyone. So he loves them. He's not like at Waffle House. He's not at Waffle House hugging babies. No, no. Everyone bite him went to the Waffle House after the lost the debate though? Oh. He was like, have at do?

And everyone was like, yes. You should lay down. Put syrup in him. See what happens. It would be great if he was campaigning while laying down. No. You know what it would be if he was still campaigning. Nobody told him he lost and he was out.

He's still on the road. I don't think they have. I think he's at a nursing home right now thinking he's president. Talking to plants. We gotta get going, man. Oh my God, there's no way he lasts four years and just having Trump talk about him after he dies

is gonna make liberals' heads explode. He's as sleepy as he's ever been. The sleepiest Joe Biden. Someone told me it was open casket. He couldn't even tell. It looked like he looked like he when he was campaigning. He's been Trump at his funeral. Oh my God. learning noises, rolling his eyes on his phone. He's lazy, he's just lazy. Trump tweeted during the funeral that the Super Bowl should be moved to Mar-a-Lago. He said the audience would have to excuse him

from extended remarks as he had been subjected to such a strain that his brain needs irrigation to put it in trim again. What? The references to irrigation was loudly cheered. It's talking about booze. It's talking about booze. Oh, so what is it?

He needs, he needs. So booze, this is what I would imagine. So many euphemisms for booze back then. Yeah. I love the irrigation one. Yeah. That is awesome. I need to go self-irrigate.

Yeah. But I would imagine that you would be like, I would think at this time, I mean, as anytime that if you are running on like, I like to get wet, like, yeah, like, fuck Yeah, yes, 100%. Yeah, that's why like the mayor was like, just be like, I got shit faced. Yeah. It doesn't depend on whether you had staked your reputation on not being a drinker or something. Yeah.

Right. Well, yeah, like, yeah, like today. If your whole thing is that gay people shouldn't exist and then you're in a bathroom stall paying for sex from a man. Or you're the head of the child protective committee or whatever it was called. And it turned out he was a pedophile.

Sure. Wasn't Congressman Foley or something? Sure, why not? Child Protective Committee or whatever it was called and it turned out he was a pedophile Sure Congressman Foley or something sure why not? People are gonna cheer that one though I've been on the road all day, and I can really use a boy As much as the next man I had five kids in my car this morning. We drove here together. I let one of them drive. Although the way things are going, that might actually happen.

Honestly, it would not be crazy if like Don Jr. was like marrying a 16 year old. Stop. Stop. Let him live. No, we're there. We are there. The reference to references to irrigation was loudly cheered.

Postmaster General Wanamaker and Secretary Rusk also spoke. The speakers were showered with roses and presented with mammoth naval oranges. Awesome. And the headline was threw oranges at them. So they didn't. So the headline was salacious. That didn't even they handed oranges to them. Yeah, the headline was a fucking lie. Because if you could go fucking if you go heave oranges at politicians, that would be awesome.

I mean, I think that happened back then, but this one was not. That'd be great. These were loving oranges. Just to hit Rick Scott with a melon. Throw cantaloupes. Throw cantaloupes. A fucking cantaloupe at Rick Scott's cantaloupe. Wow. I think we'd be living in a different reality now if that shoe had hit George Bush. It just hadn't ducked.

I'll tell you one of the greatest moments, probably my greatest moment on Twitter was when I tweeted something along those lines of like whatever like, it might've been the anniversary. I was like, you know, just the, well, how he deserved to get hit by that shoe or something like that. And the guy who threw the shoes on Twitter, and he sub tweeted me, he was like, I tried my best or something like that.

I was like, oh my God, what? He spent like a year or two in prison for that. Yeah. Yeah, he did. Yeah. Yeah. And then he was like, but then I was like, Twitter is still okay with me. The fact that this guy and I are connecting. That was pretty great, yeah.

That was awesome. It really was upsetting how good he was at dodging the second shoe. It's because he used to own a baseball team. That's right. It's baseball. Because he didn't self-arrogate anymore. You know, if a shoe flies by you,

you should always expect a second one coming. Yep. That's so true. I guess it's a good lesson of life. Now, if there was only a third, I felt like, can I borrow your shoe? Unless it's a one-legged man who threw a shoe. Yeah.

Or a guy just came with shoes Just Christ. What is this a payless? It's sad that's our that's our only hero from the Mafia investigation. The grand jury is looking into the New Orleans necktie party. Murderer Ford will hang a woman's strange crime. Okay, those are all together for some reason. The criminal district court is crowded each day.

270 prominent citizens have been summoned before the grand jury to testify relative to the lynching of the Italian prisoners at the parish prison. As the witnesses do not include the leaders of the mob or the men who took part in it, the conclusions are that the grand jury summoned the witnesses for the purpose of learning the public feeling about the affair and whether or not the mob represented public sentiment in the action it took. Oh, so the mob killed their own guys, I think. And so they're saying. They're allowed to do that. Well, I think that's the thing is they're like,

who is this, okay, did the mob do good? Could you imagine courts ever caring about public sentiment? No. How do you feel about this? Well, we should probably consider what the people want. Imagine. That would be incredible. But yeah, so the mob is basically saying,

the mob's going to the mob is gonna mob. Yeah, well, it's what we do. You guys like what do you want? It is highly probable that there was an Italian guy in the mob. No, no. If there was Dave, it's a spicy meatball. We get paid $50 every time he says that. I who exactly? Meatball company?

Boston Market. It's a pretty strange time. I rest in my case. I rest in my case, the spicy meatball. All right, Dave, you're gonna lose the money. Fubu pays us every time we, I don't know why. Fubu. It's actually, remember Quibi?

It's from, we don't know why, but Quibi pays us $50 every time Dave says the spicy meatball. It's the only thing they're still funding. but Quibi pays us $50 every time Dave says spicy meatball. It's the only thing they're still funding. Apparently they still have a little money in the kitty and it goes to Dave's meatballs. It is highly probable that the grand jury will not be ready to file its report for a week or more.

The report will be a long and exhaustive one. It is understood giving the full history of the Mafia in New Orleans. The report is likely to be a strong presentation of the citizens' explanatory of why the Grand Jury has refused to find any indictments against the men who engaged in the lynching. Detective O'Malley talks defiantly and says the people who called for his apprehension are now sorry they have got him. They will be glad to get rid of him, but they can't and he will yet have them pillared as murderers of innocent and helpless men.

The Italians did not kill Hennnessy, Amali adds. Hennessy's last words were, never mind me, catch Devereaux, not catch the dagos, as has been reported. Those are going to be my last words. Wait, they hanged all these people because they thought one dude said catch the dagos. No, wait, guys. That's not what I said. Wait, wait. I said as the day goes, as the day goes. As the day goes. Oh, my God. Oh, fuck. Oh, it really. Oh, fuck.

It really is. It's this is why we do the podcast. I didn't say I didn't say wops. I said do wop do wop do wop. Do wop. Three out of the 45 Sicilians who arrived yesterday were arrested before midnight for carrying murderous knives. Murderous knives. I love that length.

No that's for cutting salami. This is the one you want. Yo come on, that's my garlic knife. Chill. And they said they arrived that day so it took them less than a day to get arrested. Well three of the 45. Yeah. Three of them were day, so it took them less than a day to get arrested. Well, three of the 45. Yeah, just three of them were like, that's not for cutting. The Italian consul says he has proof that all but two of the men lynched were Italian

subjects. Some had registered and voted, but this was due to ignorance of the law on their part and to sharp practices on the part of the politicians. This could not alter their status as Italian citizens oh I there was a big I feel like there was a big Italian murder thing that happened around this time in New Orleans and then everyone started killing the Italians I think that's like they assassinated someone and then and then everyone went crazy and was like well we should just kill all the Italians yeah I don't hate it I mean that's, like they assassinated someone and then everyone went crazy and was like, well, we should just kill all the Italians.

Kill all the Italians. Yeah. I don't hate it. I mean, it's a good plan. Yeah, it's a fair plan. I mean, I don't hate it. It's something to do for a little while. Yeah.

You know, it could be fun. Yeah, well, it's just not, I'm saying don't judge it. You know what I mean? Yeah, and let- I'm sure the black people were like, yes, kill all the Italians. Oh my God, they were like, yeah, for sure. Not us.

They're like, you still too. And the Italians. Yeah, basically Italian black guy. OK, so this is just a little one liner. The question is, what show will Barnum have in the next world? Oh, he's going to fucking just in the next world? Yeah, I think he died, maybe. Space Barnum?

Oh, Space Barnum. No, not Space Barnum. Not space, like when he's like, no, he's like in... That's space, but you don't go to space when you die. What religion did you just make up? Scientology. You just made up a religion. Scientology. First of all, first of all, where are you pitching you go when you die?

I'm not, but there, but these people think you go- I believe you turn into dust. You become a tree and then you turn into dust and you go to space. Wait, you guys don't play paintball? Paintball when you die, I thought. Is that right? I like this one. I thought-

I'm listening to Lee a little bit more than I am. I don't hate this. So like eternal paintball? Does the paintball game stop? I thought I'm listening to Lee a little bit more than. So like eternal paintball, does the people game stop? It's tough to say. Yeah, it might be eternal. And I think it because that I have never this theory. People hurts. Not when you're gone. It's awesome. It just goes through you.

It's endless. You never it's one long game of capture the flag while playing. It's heaven is paintball doesn't hurt. Hell is it always hits you in the balls and your guns empty. These are bad. This is a bad heaven. Now that you've heard now that you've heard Lee's Dave, may I walk you back to space Barnum?

No, they're both welcome. This seat is still available at my table. My friend, are they floating around? Who are you talking to? Lee or Gary? They're just floating around like so there's odd characters and animals and stuff just floating around in space. Go back to Lee for a little while. Do don't like, you're gonna gross about that.

Do you have to consult with your right hand man? I have to, hold on. Hey Tim, what was I talking about last night when I was selfie-irrigating? There are great many things in corn besides corn juice. Wow, this is an awful thing to hear. Oh, corn juice. We sell that at our shows, Lee. You should come to one. Okay. That and meatballs. Dave, if you want to get another 50 from Quibi.

Was corn juice something that people enjoyed? Did they squeeze the corn? I'll fall on the sword. Think of necessity. When you eat corn, it's juicy. It is juicy. It can be quite sweet. Yeah. You know, you'll see a lot of the kids walk around sucking on corn cobs. You've seen that, right?

And I'm not saying I want to drink corn juice, but if someone handed me corn juice, I'd be like, I'll try it. I would try corn juice. I like corn. Sweet corn can be pretty good. Now I'm not saying we should be doing it, but. My grandfather was a farmer and they called him a corn Jew. Does that count?

We'll be right back. Hey, Lee, we just the net was just called. They want to make a pilot? Corn Jew! Going to pilot, baby! Yes, corn Jew. Corn Jew. Yeah.

Corn Jew. People get weird when you eat corn, like you give a blowjob. Huh? Keep reading. If you eat corn, just like... What are you talking about? You guys don't do that? I do two, I do corn, just like talking about. Yes, don't do that. I do. I do. I do.

To one from each end. Wait, is this the heaven you're proposing? Yes. Well, well, well, look, I'm crawling back. Welcome to space. Everyone blowing their corn. Meet the shucker. The president of the Cotton Farmers Alliance in Georgia is opposed to a third party just now. The Democratic Party is good enough for him and he thinks that a third party is unnecessary, hazardous and unwise. So far as regards to Democratic Party's interest in the South.

He says outright, I have all confidence that the Democratic Party will give me its us relief this week. I'm fucking believe. We've been doing this for a hundred and ten, 18, no, 30 years. Yeah, 30 years. Now just give the Democrats a chance. There's no need for another party. We've got all the choice we need. We can't do that right now.

This is the most important election of our lifetimes. Come on, Horace Bushwinkle is a new is an existential threat. It's just Horace Bushwinkle is as bad as it gets By the way, we're gonna run on his policies He was pretty bad. It was bad. Yeah Fred Briggs of Missouri Valley killed a hundred and forty two blackbirds at one shot It's a shotgun. He had to use a shotgun.

142, even with a shotgun? I know, even with a shotgun, it's crazy, but the only way you could do it is with just, you'd like there in a, maybe- I don't think there's a finish to your sentence. No, there's another way you could do it. You put them in a bag. It's just say you did it.

That's true too. That's true too. That's another idea. There's that, yeah. Yeah, there's probably someone's like, holy shit, really? Yep, you're going in the paper. That is easy. A festive cow at Boone caused a fight between a woman and a boy. Both were fine. Okay, I don't see anything wrong with that. No, there's no other. That's it.

A festive, what is a festive cow? Well, have you ever been to India? Actually, I was in Tibet. They have festive yaks. Okay, same thing, but it's a cow. The mayor had a festive yak in the back of the car. It says while looking at his phone, just totally tuned out. I'm looking at his phone, just totally.

I'm looking at festive cow. That's got to be a band. I literally. That's a ska band. Absolutely. Yeah, they played Lilith Fair. I'm just seeing a lot of cow heads and wreaths. A lot of merry.

Oh, a moory Christmas. Which should be merry cow-smus if I'm gonna do it. Okay, I'll show you my favorite festive cow. Well people listening can't see it. Well I don't think he has a Santa hat on. Oh there we go, Santa. Oh and a sweater. He has a Santa sweater on.

He makes eggnog. Okay. A man in a-. He has a Santa sweater on. He makes eggnog. Okay. Well, a man... He comes straight out of the utters. Yeah. A man in one of the Dubuque churches went to sleep Sunday and snored so loudly that the minister was forced to stop his sermon and have him awakened. That is not really a news story. That must happen all the fucking time. Yeah, it's a church. That must happen all the fucking time. Yeah, it's the church. They didn't even give us his name.

I mean, if you're going to do the reporting, do the reporting. Yeah. Come on. I would just wake up and be like, it's part of God's plan. Docs this guy. Yeah. Where does he live? Docs him.

Docs this motherfucker. Where does he live? We got to get him. And then the next week he's been killed. I hope Lee feels good. Governor Boyd says the reason he did not issue an Arbor Day proclamation was because it was unnecessary. The statute, he says, provides that the 22nd day of April shall be Arbor Day, and there was no more use in proclaiming Arbor Day than there would be in proclaiming Christmas or the Fourth of July.

This is what the story is. Jesus Christ. Get off my fucking back, you idiots. Why didn't you tell us why didn't you celebrate tree day? I Harbor day started in 1872 in Nebraska. It's it's on the calendar. We do not need to fucking say it every time. It's here It's there. I don't need to proclaim it. It's done. What will the trees think? What will the trees think? What? What? Do you even celebrate Arbor Day? Yes, we all do. It's the it's tree day. We yes, I'm a.

What did you do? Did you even go to the woods on Arbor Day? Did you even go to the woods? I enjoyed the trees in my yard and I gave them wreaths. Did you give them a festive cow? I don't like trees. Oh. I've never liked trees.

Truth comes out. Finally. Busted. You people, here's the deal. Mm-hmm. Let me live my life and stop trying with all your tree shit. I, it's oppressive. What will you be doing for Bush Day?

You're gonna lose all the tree votes. I think you lost them. I think they're gone. You fucking tree people are about to find out that everybody is tired of your fucking tree bullshit. We still have to vote Democrat. There's no other solution. What are you going to do for shade now?

What are you going to do? Oh, fuck. I built a house. My mother has this friend who reads complete right wing conspiracy shit and like censor the articles. He's one of those guys. And she's like, he sent me this article. Could you read it and tell me why I should try it back?

And it was about the fires in California. Space lasers, Jewish space lasers. No, it's even, it's better. It was a graph showing how the fires in California over time used to be worse Like in the oh my god. Oh my god. I swear to God. I was like salivating I was like I cannot wait to write this reply to remind this man of one major fucking difference back then With the way it was set up here Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no shit. Yeah, idiot. What the fuck are you talking about? Oh my God.

Was it was it was the chart drawn in crayon? It was like it was immediately I was like, I'm honestly enjoying this article. It's so bad. I mean, the chart with a dinosaur sticker on it with a grain of salt. The one that's getting me that's so hilarious is that the that they're saying that Biden spread the bird flu with drones. I've seen that one. They just it's so great that they're good.

That's how they're going to handle the bird flu. Yeah, they just can't. It's impossible. It's the obvious answer is so impossible now that you have to go. Like the drones were pissing bird flu. Yes. It was to hurt the farmers. By the way, I remember them suggesting during Iraq invasion times that one of Saddam Hussein's plots was to fly things over and drop anthrax on us and all that shit.

Yep. You know, I remember that. Yeah. Oh, there were people covering their homes in plastic. Yeah. I remember that too. Where they were, they were like duct tape your windows, like get a seal. To duct tape the windows with plastic.

And it was like, you realize you're going to suffocate in your house. And they were like, this is a way to call the herd. Yeah. We want those people gone. I supported it wholeheartedly. Cockney Sterling and Reddy Breuman fought for $300 near here today. Sterling was put to sleep in the 21st round.

Oh my God. Like, mutinized? Yeah, they finally killed him. Is this quarter, man? Put him down. Yeah, I got a little thing for you. Let me put this in your eye. That'll feel good.

All right, I killed the boy. You could have just thrown in the towel. What? I didn't have a towel. You're out of towels. So I put him down. Then he'd be a coward So I put him down. Then he'd be a coward.

I put him down. We forfeit. I killed my fighter with a syringe. Imagine going 21 rounds and then losing. I mean, you are a bloody pulp. And there's no gloves. This is just fists. Oh, Jesus. This is just fists.

Oh Jesus. Oh, just dead. I mean, honestly, but this is your tartar and you're like, I mean, we're going back to this with the slap fighting. I always bring this up interview the slap fighters. Like, have you ever watched, have you ever watched the CTE analysis of slap fighting? When are they just going to have a show where they're trying to get someone to have CTE by the end of the broadcast? Have you ever watched on YouTube

the guys who have created their own like small town slap fight leagues and it's just it's guys you know they're obviously trying to get YouTube followers but like they are having a slap fight league and like somewhere way out in the middle of Ohio and it's backyard wrestling it is just yeah but it's worse somehow it's the craziest fucking thing you've ever seen. And they have like 10 episodes going to find the champion. Yeah, it's bad. Oh, I'd say who's watching it, but I think we just found out. It's all Dave. It's all just Dave. Dave commenting. Dave, you're slap daddy? The dollop is the sponsor. That would be great. I would love, you know, imagine our fans if we were just like,

and we're also brought to you by slap fighting. The slap fight league is now live back with a new season. Who will be the champion? And it's like these backyard wrestling leagues where it's like, this is nails in eyeballs. Whoever nail in the eyeball first. Yeah, it is so bad. It's bad. But it is what happens when everything's

Failing you're like the entertainment becomes gory graphic demented. Yeah, good sign is what I'm saying. Yeah Bogus Dakota suffers. I didn't know they had bogus back then. Yeah. Oh interesting. Yeah I didn't know they had bogus back then. Yep. Oh, interesting. Yeah. They had bogus. I didn't know that some guy came up with that. It was delivered, I think, in 1975. The word bogus now means bull cocky. Swindler's working for East...for East? Oh, sorry.

Swindler's working the East for money on sympathy for Dakota. Two strangers, this is out of Buffalo, two strangers representing themselves as AA Payne and Christopher Rot. My name is Ah, Payne. I mean. To be fair.

They're calling themselves Ah, Payne and Rot. Like they're not real. They're not real. Hello, I'm rot. Like they're, they're not real. They're not real. Hello, I'm ah, pain. Good to meet you. Have you seen that awesome little cafe restaurant? Ah, ah, bone pain. Ah.

I like that place. It's actually, it has some great food there. So my elbow keeps cracking when I move it. We just serve coffee. We're not. So, and I, what happened was I was, I was trying to, I was climbing a ladder in my yard to get leaves out of my gutter. Do you want to chip out a sandwich? Yeah. Do you want some food?

I don't have health insurance, but I can pay out of pocket. We could put a creamy soup on that. We can put a creamy soup. It doesn't work like it used to. I can turn out of pocket. What's your weight? We could put a creamy soup on that. We can put a creamy soup. It doesn't work like it used to. I can turn it into a soup. When the fella comes over, if he could maybe take a close look at the elbow, I think it could be coming from the shoulder. Are you talking about the cook?

Yeah, the bone pain. Yeah, whoever the guy is, whoever the specialist is. Just dip it in the cream of broccoli for a little while. Ah, it burns. Yeah, that'll go away. You think that's gonna do it? You guys have food? It's like lick your arm, you fucking idiot.

What a weird doctor's office. AA Payne and Christopher Rott of Ellendale, North Dakota have been here sometimes soliciting subscriptions for the people of North Dakota whom they represented to be suffering for food, clothing, and money. The mayor wrote to the governor of North Dakota and has received a reply that the men are not authorized to collect money and adding that there are no doubt some cases worthy of charity in McIntosh County, but neither the county nor the state resources have been exhausted. A letter was also received from the governor of South Dakota saying the people did not need help.

That's the best part. The governor took the time to be like, they don't need any fucking help. The people were like, well, first of all. So these guys are just, it's a scam. And their way to fight the scam is to reach out to the states and be like, do you guys actually need anything? Yeah. Yeah.

And they're like, no, what are you talking about? Even though they do need stuff. It's a great charity though. I'm going to start doing that. I'm raising money for South Dakota. My name is Yer Rotten. And we're here to help. Hi.

We're here to help. My name's Ouch Wound. And I'm raising money just in general for Delaware. Yeah, but South Dakota didn't have any, they weren't involved. They were raising money from North Dakota. South Dakota governor just jumped in because there's nothing to do there. Yeah, there's nothing more evidence that there should only be one.

Yes. Yes. Further evidence that we don't need to. Oh, I wish Democrats were smart enough to know how to play the game because that's the shit they should be doing. We're going to take Canada. We should actually make North Dakota, South Dakota, one Dakota and just watch. Just put them back on them.

Trump, the Democrat would be doing that. Yeah, absolutely. And then they'd ask him why to be like, because we keep losing both of them. I'm going to name it Trump, absolutely. And then they'd ask him why and he'd be like, because we keep losing both of them. I'm going to name it Trump Dakota. Trump Dakota. All right, last one. Yeah, let's go. Suicidee mention Huron-Heronite? Sure.

Okay. Maybe that's a city of some kind. Could be. A number of capitalists. Fuck. All right. Here we kind. Could be. A number of capitalists. Ah, fuck. All right. Here we go. Big ones. Well. Nice.

Went from Sioux Falls to Sioux City by mistake the other day, having had their special car attached to the wrong train. Oh, awesome. Capitalists. Perfect. Ah, that's so great. It's the little things. It's the little things. Yeah, that that's so great. It's the little things. It's the little things.

Yeah, that's a small victory. That's all we have. That's the small victories you get in America. All we have. It's like when a politician gets an egg thrown on him. You're like, that's all we got. What do you want to bet somebody was like, sir, do you want it hooked up to the just do it?

Sir, is it Sue? Stop. Is it Sue? Is it Sue? Stop! Is it Sue? Is it Sue? Just put us on the fucking train! Anyway. Yeah, yeah. The air was not... Is there eating oysters?

Back to the olives. The air was not discovered until they were approaching the city when it was corrected in the quickest practical way. It is not the first time that capitalists... Letting it go off a cliff. Threw the car off the cliff. Just set on fire and then pushed off a cliff. We just burned them alive inside the car. It is not the first time that capitalists have made a mistake in going from a

South Dakota to an Iowa city. Oh. Wow. Capitalists. Capitalists. I love it. Is it about rich fuckers? Well, it would be good to just kind of, we need to find the right grouping for the nightmare. It would be good to just be like these.

I mean, oligarchs. I don't know. Is that working? That doesn't seem to be working. We should be calling them the Capitals. Parasites. Parasites is good. Robber barons. Shit.

Cunts. Cunts. Cunts is good. Well, Lee, cunts should be the last part we talked about while you're here. Wrap it up on that. So redacted. Unredacted.

Unredacted, I'm sorry, I remember redacted for the question. Wow. Misinformation show. But really is great and you write it all on your own, which is, again, remarkable. Thanks, man. Weekly. He's tired. He's tired. I know you have a team of writers for this show. Yeah. Yeah. We got Dave and two dogs. Well, thank you for joining us, Lee. Thank you. Yeah. Unredacted Night. You can find it on my link, tree link, tree.com slash the camp. Really appreciate it. Thank you, Lee. Always a pleasure. Thanks, buddy. Some of these days...

Hey, Dollop fans! I know you love the Dollop. You love listening to the Dollop. Do you want to watch the Dollop? You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch a five-part animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode

I can't remember, of the Rube, you can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube. It really genuinely kicks ass and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one so go there and watch the Rube.