The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 118 - The Battle of Brisbane (Live)

Episode Date: September 27, 2015

Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by comedian Lindsay Webb in Brisbane to examine the Battle of Brisbane. SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

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there's some interesting things. I should introduce you again because ladies and gentlemen our guest is Lindsay Webb. Local, local Brisbane hero. One of the first people ever to settle here. Is this a dollop about Lindsay? Yep okay. Lindsay Webb was born. It's gonna be another quick one. That's it actually. That was it. We just wrapped it up. He started doing comedy in Brisbane in 1998 and he's still here. I'm looking at his notes and that's it. That is the whole thing. I get out and about. I've been out of place. How many kids do you have? Two. Two kids. How old are you? Eight and six. Wow. I mean I'll ask on Lindsay's behalf. What the

fuck was that? You are not a fan of that age or don't think that's going well? Don't care for it. You don't care for it. Is it the total 14? No, I just think. He hates the number 14. I don't want this to sound weird but I think those are bullshit ages. They're gonna change them. December 1941. It's war time again Johnny. US troops fighting in the Philippines were besieged and exhausted. Something needed to change. They needed a base of operations in the Pacific. Eisenhower decided the US base had to be in Australia. Some Eisenhower fans? Yeah. I mean three. We're related. Fuck yeah, we're in the base. Woo! It's actually pronounced Eisenhower. I thought it was happy hour.

President happy hour. All right everybody. Poppers and beers at half price for the afternoon. President happy hour out. You're not gonna vote for happy hour? Dwight D happy hour? I'm gonna vote for Duncan. His donut platform is phenomenal. How do they know about Duncan donuts? The first thing that was done was to begin diverting soldiers headed to the Philippines to Brisbane. Or as the Americans called it, Brisbane. The way it spelled. There's a war going on in here tonight too. 4,600 troops were arriving in Queensland a week later. Brisbane was about to become a major base of US forces around noon on December 22nd, 1941. The riverbanks were packed with people from the city of Brisbane as

soldiers came in by boat. It says boast here. Yeah, we're the soldiers. That's actually. We're the soldiers we've been killing people. If it's Americans, it could be both. We're having a holiday. We are the best. We are the best. Our dicks are the biggest. Let's get up here. Woo! The horn just goes kickin' it. Kickin' it! They don't even dock the ship. Fuck it! Let's go back. Our freedom will dock. Tied with freedom robes. Mine democracy. The US have finally joined the war and we're coming to Australia and we're gonna be based here to also to take leave they'd be here. Mrs. Elizabeth Harland, whose husband had been shot down over Germany, said, I remember looking at those ships

and the men on them and thinking that we had been saved. I thought, thank God for the Yanks. So, the wording there is interesting. Thank God for the Yanks. We'll take you. Okay, we'll take that. We'll take that. I just want to point out that she's using the past tense. We thought. Oh, well, she said this afterwards. Yes, which means maybe this goes south somehow. I'm not sure. It's come a long way. Yeah. This was a surprise for the people of Brisbane. They didn't know the Americans were coming. Surprise semen. Never good. Actually, that's the name of Cosby's third album. I apologize. Never good.

The U.S. soldiers dressed in khaki uniforms with steel helmets and backpacks marched off the ships. An Australian band played while we were marching through Georgia. That did not go over well with the soldiers from the south. It's a little racy. But your asshole's like, that's not the right American song. Yeah, but it's a song about burning down Georgia. We're gonna play a song about half you guys losing and playing. She's a grand old flag or we don't help. Maybe if they hadn't have boasted so much on the way in. Yep, I agree. Play a nicer song. The soldiers made camp all over the 148th Idaho field

artillery regiment camped in a race course. The Australians treated the Americans warmly. One soldier ended up as a guest at a wedding. Oh, just the one. Yeah. Don't tell the other guys about our wedding. Yeah, there's such boasters. They're coming, they're coming, they're coming, they're coming. Yeah, yeah. The Aussies were most hospitable and would not let us pay for our own drink. What did I do? What happened? That was a bullshit moan. It was. I don't think there was anything wrong with it. I said it wrong. Ozzie. Ozzie. Like Ozzie. Like you don't have to spell the fucking word. Okay, fair enough. Another word you guys just

randomly say your way. I mean, Dave in France will be a nightmare. It's spelled more murky bokeh. Fuck you want me to say? It's called Paris. S on the end, bitch. Paris. Where's like the triumph? Around here. The Aussies were most hospitable and not let us pay for our own drinks. They wouldn't let us pay for anything said Sergeant Jack Allard. Whoa. Many Americans were housed in Australian homes. You guys are nice. You're nice people. But it wasn't all great. The first night an American soldier died in a car accident because he was unaccustomed to driving on the left

side of the road. Make sense. Is it the one from the wedding? It was such a beautiful ceremony. Oh, shit. Why is everyone on this side of the road? Then things went south in a dance hall and intoxicated Texan. A Texan? That sounds right. Stood up and said he'd whip any son of the son of bitch in the house. So fucking Texas. What is he even talking about? I mean this happened 70 years ago but I want to apologize for that guy right now. I bet you you could find that at like a place in Texas today. Yes. I'll whip anyone. There's a guy going into an outback steakhouse every night in Texas. Just doing this. I'll have what the

Australians have. A blooming onion. I'll whip anyone who doesn't like you. What is that? I don't know. We don't know. We don't have the answer for the blooming onion. We don't know either. Some psycho just lied to everyone in America and we were like they like that. But it really caught on. Oh yeah. American Frank Fujita said we found that if there was anything the Australians like better than beer it's fighting. Especially if you run out of beer. The dance hall turned into a massive brawl. The Texan who started it then decided to take off. Like an emu. He went over to a window and stepped out. Problem was the dance hall was on the

second floor. Suck shit Texas. Excuse me I'm gonna sneak out. Yeah. He broke his legs. Texas. That was the first night. Oh shit. Great start. Good start. Four shadowing they might say. Brisbane would soon become the headquarters for both the US and Australian armies fighting. It was also the main destination for American GIs on leave. Brisbane was not a large city just having 300,000 residents. At the time it seemed like a big country town. There was not another allied city in the world that had to deal with the massive influx of Americans the way Brisbane did. That's fucked up. You're welcome. That's fucked up to any

any city. I'm surprised you guys are here. What are you talking about? That's why we're here. A lot of you guys probably a little bit American in there. You know what I'm saying? A little bit. Oh no it's your baby. Okay. Welcome to freedom town Australia. Would you like a blooming onion? I thought you were leaving. You want to leave on behind? Americans brought their delightful race racial hatred to this sleepy little city. Yeah. Talk of abolishing Australians tremendous white Australia policy was heating up during the war. Do you know about their white Australia policy? I'm assuming it was a Labor Day thing. For quite a while they

were like just white people. Interesting. That was just the policy. They made the test a little bit tricky. Really changed a lot. Well to be fair Dave we ran the same tasks. Well I'm gonna get to that but I just want to get a little poke at Abbott and his... Yeah. I don't think anyone's gonna stop you from doing that. Go for it. While Australians had an equally horrific history of their treatment of the Aborigini peoples, something had changed in their military. Indigenous servicemen were given equal pay and allowed to be promoted on merit. Also the white Australians were now fighting alongside the Aborigines the... Oh I'm gonna say a bunch of things wrong. The Torres... straight eyeliners? I'm reading this Torres. That's a Spanish name so

that's how I'm gonna say it. Torres. So this guy Torres. Torres. Torres? Torres. I'm from North America. That's a very common North American name. That's Torres. No you're a Torres Dave. And the Pinhas ox. Papua. anunci. Papua. Papua. Papua. Yeah that one that one. Papua. Papua. PataphippapapapA. Better, warmer, closer, papianusa. Papie... Hello there's Aya! It's me, Papa Nugini! Oh, Papa! Take a presence at your chocolates! Did you hang your gloves from the shelf?

I am Papa Bauer. I come to fuck your island! Sorry, sorry, Papa, we wanted you to go somewhere else. This is Papa Wah. I am on leave! Oh, boy. And they faddle alongside many other races, which may have changed the way the soldiers saw race.

Or maybe they just looked at African-Americans differently than the races they dealt with in Australia. Either way, the Aussie-Aussies treated the black American soldier better than the American white soldier did. This, despite their command issuing a confidential directive saying it was undesirable for Australian troops to fret nice or drink with African-American soldiers. Really?

What? It's fine. There's a bunch of soldiers coming over to help stop the Japanese from invading your country. Don't fucking drink with them. They're basically Japanese. I mean, you can make the argument. They're non-whites, I mean...

But, strangely, when the black American servicemen showed up in Brisbane, they were welcomed by the Australian soldiers. Mainly the ladies. I don't know, I just see... I see something in them, you guys. Don't. I'll see something in me.

I'll go talk to them outside and tell them to leave us alone. That's my hair. Hey, what happened to Wendy? I was just horse riding. I was riding a horse. Seriously, his name's horse. Oh, seriously. Trust me.

Trust me, he's like a horse in a lot of ways. All right. It's pretty funny, because I was staying at the rice house the other day. It's a local flair. The Americans were shocked that the Australian soldiers were so welcoming. The black soldiers were mostly transport and service personnel

and were excluded from combat units. African American soldiers were given access to dance halls but actually had the gall to associate with white women on the streets of Brisbane. Unbelievable. This, of course, led to troops from the US 208th Coast Artillery to fight with the African Americans

of the 394th Quartermaster Battalion for 10 nights. What? In March, 1942. Seriously? 10 night race war between people from another country in your country. From the same country.

From the same country. Let's go over there and do this. I really thought we were going to have a vacation from American Insanity for a minute, and now we've just found a different home for it. I really... I like this one's going to be on you guys. Yeah, it started off all fun,

but now it's like, Say, India, the Americans are racist in your land. Welcome. Wow. The 394th had just arrived in Brisbane before this kicked off. Finally, US military authorities stepped in and did what was right.

Total segregation. Jesus Christ. Colonel C.H. Barnwell Jr. had reported that the fighting was due to white resentment of black access. They restricted black soldiers to the south side of the Brisbane River. That's not how you solve that.

Yes, you do. They resent the black people for having equal rights, so let's give them no rights. Okay, that feel good? Other side of the river. Did you just say they put all the black people on the south? Yeah, south side of the...

Wow, that's still the same. Oh, I didn't know you guys had black people here. That's weird. Looking around. They're loud, isn't they? Is that... You're looking around like they would. You did wears Wally the room, babe.

I did wears Wally the room. I did wears Wally the room. But that didn't stop the fighting. There was a major race riot at... What? A race riot. A race riot. We said brown!

There's black rice now. That's too far. Not allowed in America. All right, so I raced right at Wakul. Waikou. And knife fights in South Brisbane. Meanwhile, the cover line was rigidly enforced by the US MPs in exactly the way it was

as if they were serving in Mississippi or Alabama. What? American military police were assaulting or even killing black soldiers for crossing the Brisbane River. What the fuck? What the fuck? I mean, what is the problem?

You can't go on vacation and do this shit. There should have been more gangs of activities. You really can't. Yeah, you need to go there and be like, ah, I hate black people. We're like, oh, no, we like black people. We're like, well, I'm not happy, but I'll deal with it. Went in Rome, went in Rome.

Can't just be like, we'll do what we do at home. Yeah, we'll hang them, yeah. No, no, we're the worst. Yeah, yeah. We'll hang them, yeah. One soldier was shot just near the flame at Anzac Square. Did this really happen? Yeah, you guys don't know about it

because all the papers were told not to be reported. I don't know whether to talk about it more. It's such a nice story. Makes you miss the emus, huh? Yeah. But the military did nice things. By the way, he's about to hit a list of awful shit. In South Brisbane, they set up brothels with black women in them

for the black soldiers south of the river. That's just bite. Man, you know there were some white guys who were like, God. As... Loved them. How are we getting across the river there? All right, all right, all right. Let's get those clothes.

When it was dark. Turn the lights off. Because white soldiers and African-American soldiers were not allowed to go to the same brothels. No top-dicking. Hands high over there. But not everyone in Australia was down with this idea of segregation, particularly the unions.

Members of the United Association of Women invited black GIs to their homes and the authorities reacted. Feminist Jesse Street wrote, activities became more organized with dance parties arranged for them. When U.S. Army officers started visiting these homes to advise that these mixed social activities were to cease, the host families refused to be ordered about what they could do in their own homes. The U.S. authorities then declared these houses brothels.

Oh. That's awesome. I... Why the fuck was the U.S. here again? What the fuck? I've forgotten completely why they're here. They're just like the relatives just like, no, we're not gonna have that for dinner.

What we're gonna have? You're my home. Yeah. Now we need to stop people from another place coming here and fucking us. Yeah. I mean, that's an international cock block. Yeah. The Red Cross set up a club in Brisbane in South Brisbane for blacks only.

Aborigines came, but any white woman who went to a dance was later interrogated by a vice squad. See, you've got to keep Red Crosses away from racist Americans. Agreed. She just fires them up. Now the city of Brisbane found it difficult to cope as their population doubled to 600,000 almost overnight. The people of Brisbane suddenly felt like they were on the frontline of the war.

Trenches were dug in yards and buildings were sandbagged. Children got air raid kits to bring to school. Concrete structures to hold that 100 people were built on the streets as air raid shelters. Shit. What? You guys didn't know this? Yeah. I just knew the kids got new dads.

That's all I knew. New cool dads. Yeah, really cool. I knew all the good music and could dance. Until US warships landed, most Australians knew little of America apart from the products of Hollywood. MacArthur first set up in Melbourne, bringing 30,000 GIs with him,

and he was a very popular man. Everywhere MacArthur went, he was greeted by enthusiastic crowds. The 13th of June, 1942, became Douglas MacArthur Day, a national Australian public holiday. Wait, where'd that day fuck off to? Yeah. I'm not celebrating that one anymore, are you? Yeah, it's Fight the Dog People Day again.

What are you doing for MacArthur Day? Well, I can't talk to a black man, that's for sure. Let's celebrate right. In one hospital, 11 mothers named their newborn sons, Douglas MacArthur. Wow. He was fucking everybody. And there's no way they went home with the right babies. No.

No way. Oh shit, wait a minute. Why's the caramel one there? No, hold on, wait. Shit, I was singing a song. The black one's not mine. Here you go. Wait.

It helped that MacArthur arrived and became Commander-in-Chief of the Southwest Pacific Area. After he arrived, he tossed the Australian government's Brisbane Line strategy, which said only part of the East Coast below the Tropic of Capricorn would be defended if Japan invaded. Whoa. Were they backing out of the deal now? Where's the Tropic of Capricorn compared to here? North?

North. So you guys were fine, everyone else could fuck off. See you Darwin. It's quite a bold move. They were going to give up a bunch of your country, your government, and MacArthur was like, fuck that. So then all these ladies were like, he can have my baby. I mean, that's the cliff notes, but it's pretty accurate.

MacArthur called the press conference and said, we'll defend Australia and New Guinea. Boom, hero. What's up, big dick? Yeah. And he said it properly. Australian cities. You mean big dick? Australian cities had brownouts where they kept lighting low during the war years.

Edward Lewin, Leonski. When you say brownout, you're talking about an hour, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The brownout was north. Brownout was north. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Like someone heard there was a brownout and he was like, there is? Get the gun!

Wait, what is it? Oh, gun to bed. Go back to bed. Don't worry, we're fine. Turn half the light off. Edward Lewin was called into the US forces and stationed in Melbourne. Got it. He was also...

I mean, that's low hanging fruit, Dave. He was also completely fucking insane. In May, Ivy Violet McLeod was found dead. Six days later, Pauline Thompson was strangled after a night out. Nine days later, Gladys Hosking was strangled walking home from work. Eyewitnesses said an American had approached a couple of the women. Leonski was identified in a lineup. He came from a family with a history of mental illness.

The psychiatrist who interviewed him said he hated his mother and was committing symbolic matricide. Eddie said he was obsessed with women's voices and he killed the women to get at their voices. Sorry, matricide is when you... Fear of mattresses. Okay. I thought it was when you cut the tag off. You have to lay on this... No, it's not the tag.

No, not the tag. If you can set a mattress on fire, that's matricide. Okay. If you throw one out of a truck on the highway, that's matricide. Right. If you can get it to jump off a cliff on its own, matricide. Right. And if you take someone else's mattress, matricide.

Thank you. Good. I was headed there. Yep. Same destination. Obviously, this was a shit storm for MacArthur. It was causing tension between US and Australian troops. Why?

MacArthur... Running out of mattresses. Quickly. Had Leonski gathered up and taken away by the military. He would be tried in front of a military court, which he was, and found guilty, and executed on November 4th. Quick turnaround. Yeah. I mean, that is how you get it done.

Jesus Christ. Come on, let's kill this guy. Come on. Time is murder. Let's move. Troll-troll. Guilty rot. Out, out, out.

Lord. Shit. They didn't like him. The Australian intelligence wrote, it is of the utmost importance that every step should be taken to combat the spread of ill-feeling between the men of the two armies and prevent the recurrence of incidents which, if unchecked, may have serious effect upon our combined war effort. So shit's getting a little hinky between the boys.

Of course, the American military wasn't helping there, and in particular MacArthur. He had already been expressing a low opinion of Australian troops, and MacArthur would report back to the U.S. on American victories while Australian victories were described as American and Allied victories. American obviously. See how we do that, gang? You're such tics. Moving and shaking, gang.

It seemed like by the time we got to Vietnam, you'd practiced that. Well, we won this one. Vietnam in our country is still considered an Australian loss. I'm actually not sure what you're referring to. It's just a dish in a restaurant. Okay, that's because I was, okay. American officers believe that Australians lacked a certain get-up-and-go. This obviously hurt the Australians.

This hurt even more because... We then decided to start talking shit about our coffee. This... Revenge scheme. A slow burn. A good one, though. It's very good. The Australian soldiers looked down upon the fighting qualities of the Americans.

The Aussies considered the Americans an inferior fighting force who seemed all glitz and brashness, loudmouth, and ill-disciplined. More boasting. Egg on your face, Australia. Turns out we're different. Turned up saying you would have beat the emus. Well, we won this war. But Carter wanted to distance himself from what was known as the brown-out strangler.

I think that means having a shit. It's actually constipation. It's when... It's not having a shit. No, it's when you shit while you're strangling someone. It's supposed to be super hot. During half-hour in your house. Yeah, yeah.

Isn't that how Michael Hudgenstein? Too soon? Too soon? No, not too soon. All right. Too late? Feels awkward. All right.

Sort of hung around there for a big thing, though. So, like, the air just left the room. So, MacArthur was then made commander-in-chief of the South Pacific area, and he moved his headquarters to the Lennon's Hotel in Brisbane. Wasn't that the job that he had before? No, before he was just a big guy. One under that. Didn't get a car.

Now he's on top. That's when the serious American invasion began. Now Brisbane was the head of military command for the Pacific War, and with that came infrastructure and the men. The sudden increase in population created congestion, brownouts, and a short supply of basic goods. For the rest of 1942, 96,000 American soldiers were living in Brisbane. So there was rapid Americanization.

That's a lot of people. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, think about how this country started. I mean, it was just basically the same idea, right? Wasn't a bunch of people figured out? Yeah. You're not wrong.

No, I'm not wrong. No. I'm not right, but I'm not wrong. I think you're probably wrong. Well, I don't think that's the first. They just didn't know there was people here. That's true. Yeah.

The night... Never stopped us before. That's how America started. They were like, we're here now. We're like, nah, we'll kill you and take it, so yeah. The nice Britishness of this subtropical city was being wiped out almost overnight with the crassness of the Yanks. The U.S. National Anthem played at all movies' screenings.

What? That's so fucking insane. That is so fucked up. That's really so us, though. Dude, it really is. It really is. I mean, everything you go to has the National Anthem, but the... In front of a movie?

Hey, heck up. We're not getting excited about America before this Bob Hope movie. That's the way to make people love America. Play the movie with your dumb song. It's remarkable. It's amazing. You know what? That was mostly done for marketing, too.

It was just so product-salt. Yeah, yeah. You're welcome. No, it isn't. It's like commercials now. Spend your money. Spend your money. Oh, I feel good here.

Look at the anthem. The U.S. flag was put on all city buildings. Brisbane was condescending... Oh, seven of them. It cost a fortune. It's over $7. Brisbane was condescendingly called the American Village. They take issue with it being condescending because you should be proud.

The American troops, both white and black, were praised in Australian newspapers for their silent strength, politeness, and impeccable presentation. Women loved their friendliness... Friendliness! ...and good teeth. Can't fight us on that one. It's maybe the only thing internationally we have to hang on to now. Orthodonics.

Australians returning from the front quickly found that they were fighting a new battle at home to hold on to their women. Oh, boy. You betcha. Oh, boy. Brisbane housewives spent nights doing the jitterbug. Oh, boy. Yeah.

Oh, boy. Oh, dear. The Australian women... The jitterbug leads to... Yep, anal. Sorry, Dave, to be clear, that's not what... It's known as the road to anal. It's known as the road to brownout.

We're talking about the same thing. Yeah, yeah. Okay, now I just made the connection. It's actually brown in. And at the end, it's brown out. And technically... There's... I'm not going to point the person out, but there's someone in this audience who's been

so mad since the beginning. I'd love to know who they were. And that person's face just got so much angrier. What's that? Nope. It's probably me. If it was you. So the Australian women were impressed by American men.

The American men were said to have higher standards of cleanliness and personal hygiene than Australian men. Wow. It's only the worst, guys. The American men were known to smell good as aftershave was completely unknown in Brisbane at the time. I mean, but that's such a... Times were tough.

It was hot. There's only seven buildings. Two of them in aircon. Quote from an Australian woman. The best dressed of all were the American officers entailed all of the gloves out shining by far the civilians of Brisbane, none of whom could afford such clean cut, close fitting clothing, nor such handsome material. Thank God so much has changed.

While she fingered herself. All the glamour of killing him. Oh, I mean, I love my husband, but he has olive gloves. What choice do you make? Hello. The Americans were also known to have better manners than the Australian soldiers. Well, thank you, man. Unlike their southern hemisphere counterparts, the Americans were able to express tenderness.

It's because they're three times their size. Because this was an entirely different kind of man than the Australian woman was used to. The Americans generally displayed greater sophistication and panache in their dealings with look women than the average Australian male. They understood the delicate rules of romance and courtship much better. Australian men were used to gathering herd-like at social events in order to assert their manliness, usually just to each other. Well, you reckon, man, you got a big dick, man, yeah?

Yeah, man, yeah. I want to get out of here, leave here. It's like, man, some fun. Come on, 80 of us, let's go, let's go. Who wants to fuck in a car? We did what we came here to do. Look around. Let's go.

The Australians were easily outmaneuvered by the slick GIs who defined maleness in terms of sexual prowess and gallantry towards ladies. And sex. Sex. I mean, I'm relentless, but I'm nice about it. I'm not giving up, but I'm polite, aren't I? I'm not all bunched up in a corner with a bunch of dudes. I'm pushing this lady into a wall.

I mean, pick your poison, ma'am, honestly. The ones who I've talked to here are me who will afford... ...smelly idiots for this shit with hot gloves. All right, well, me and my gloves will just get out of here, then. I go, please, thank you and perfume. Sex was going on everywhere. The Courier Mail reported that GIs preferred to stay in rented hotels rather than private homes with Australian families.

You think? It was much harder. It was much harder to get it on while being hosted by some nice family. Although many American soldier, Australian lady couples didn't even bother with hostels or hotels. Instead, they used, quote, parks, shop doorways. What? Excuse me, sorry.

Pardon. Yep. I'm a lovely couple. I love what I'm seeing. Pardon. Excuse me, we're not closed yet. Huh? Neither am I.

You hear about these brownouts? Yeah, they're saying it's supposed to get a little humid later in the week. Anyway, will you give me some rubbers inside? About to finish up with this pack. This is a... This is a children's... Shut up, not now, please. This is a children's toy store.

I'm aware. That's why I'm so hard. Yeah. In Brisbane's Botanic Gardens, Queensland State... Come on! God, you know the word botanic. Oh, I... Yeah, I spelled wrong.

No, it's different here. It's different. Botanic. Oh. You have plants back there. I've seen them. It was spelled wrong. Botanic Gardens, Queensland State Police arrested couples having sex in broad daylight.

On what grounds? Botanic Gardens. Not a... Besides the park. Not allowed to root in gardens. Root is my favourite term, you guys. It's just... Horrifying.

It doesn't mean support here. Oh, I'm well in a way it does. After being caught at the gardens, one woman begged the officer not to arrest her because she had a young boy at home and her husband would kill her. Wow. She's in a pickle. No, a pickle's in her. Another time, a constable discovered another American GI and an Australian woman getting

it on because he saw a large group of children watching. I mean, alright, let's take a step back and talk about how awesome that is. I remember the first time I found like a nudie magazine in the woods. I was like, get out of here. If I saw a couple of fucking, I'd be like, what? That's a live nudie magazine. Why are you going to the woods again? No questions.

I lost something. I've lost something. Don't look for me. If I yell, I'm fine. This was also a great time to be a prostitute. Yeah. Yeah, it was. It was illegal but not really prosecuted, particularly during the war when everyone knew what the

soldiers wanted. There's been had more than 20 brothels and American GIs would form long queues out of the buildings. Wow. Those poor women. Oh my God. Just a long queue. When do I get off?

You got to do them all. How do you even, like, how do you want that? How are you like at the end of the line? I like being 48. Like, how are you at the end of the line like, hey man, whatever, rides a ride, right? Rides a ride, right? Huh? Right?

Yeah, I know all my friends are fucking it. Rides a ride, right? Rides a ride. I imagine they had a roster. They just put a time off. And rubber-wise, what are we dealing with? One story claimed that Prime Minister John Curtin sent a trainload of Sydney prostitutes to Brisbane to keep up with American needs.

Really? Yeah. Bring us your best horse. He was the Prime Minister. He's organizing prostitutes to make a road trip. I mean, it is a little weird that Prime Minister Curtin's is into fucking, like, getting prostitutes there. Get on the horse train.

Fucking kidding me. Sorry, which train is this? Horse train. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm on the wrong train. I'm on the right train. Good Lord. You made the right mistake.

With all this fucking game VD. What? Valentine's Day? And Brisbane was not into VD. In 1868, the area had passed a law that detained women with VD, locked them in hospitals, and forced them to get treatment. Now, that just says that women with VD didn't want to get treatment. Yeah.

So they had to lock them up and force them to get it. Like, no, I want everything to be weepy. I like it when it bends when I pee. Maybe you never know what the treatment was. Yeah, it's true. Oh, yeah, it was probably taking... Here, trick this gal on a mercury. There we are.

How's your vagina? I don't feel anything. It bends. Everything bends, right? Better. You cured. Remember when it was just your pussy? Get out.

Get out. We don't have any mattresses. You heard about the mattress side? Go! It bends. By 1913, Brisbane had mandatory testing and treatment for all sex workers. Now, in 1942, the conservatives said moral purity was at stake, as well as the future of the white race.

Whoa, whoa. How do you even... Why? I think black men are fucking people. The nerve. How is the white race going to survive? I mean, I think we've been proven right. With black men fucking prostitutes.

Disgusting. Anyway, cut to now, they were wrong. They were shocked by the reports of, quote, cuddle bunnies, lounge-lizies, which... What? Which is defined as amateur prostitutes. I'm still on the amateurs.

I've been trying to get to the pros for a while. I was going probably... How do you classify it? There's got to be a guy who tests some... No, you're not pro. No, you're not ready for... Sorry, look. You've been great, but you're a little tight.

All right, we'll move on. Not a pro. Not a pro. And then reports of wild, drunken women fighting in bars over American soldiers. Yeah, there was a shortage. Still happens. Nothing boosts the confidence like two prostitutes fighting over you. Two horse fighting over you.

That's fun. Either way... I hope I get the one with the list of disease. I want the one who's not foaming at the mouth. That's not a mouth! Oh boy, both ends! The American sex invasion caused the rate of venereal disease in Brisbane to triple in one year. Is that what it was called?

After what he just said it was. By late 1942, a Methodist minister said the city was worse than Sodom and Gomorrah. Wow. People wondered out loud whether it was worth being saved from the Japanese for this. That was the point I made hours ago. I really had forgotten what this was all about. We're just here fucking horse making laws. You don't want the Japanese here!

Anyway, how's everyone's crotch? Itchy, isn't it? Hot crotch! Don't say itchy! It's in there alphabet. It's scrunching. Many people started calling it the Yankee invasion. Then tons of Americans started marrying Australian women.

Some estimate there were 12,000 marriages, half of which took place in Brisbane. Now the attitude of Australian papers began to change. Quote, these men did not come to Australia to marry. They came here to fight. And the American soldiers were paid much more than Australian soldiers. What? Almost twice as much. The GIs had access to goods through the PX.

They were basically unknown after years of austerity campaigns in Australia. This led to uncomfortable situations in Brisbane. You think? Americans could spend money at canteens that sold food, alcohol, cigarettes, hams, turkeys, ice cream, chocolates, and nylon stockings at lower prices than women. While the Aussies were relegated to what were known as wet canteens that offered the bare minimum due to heavy rationing. And Australian soldiers were not allowed into American canteens.

What? Which wasn't great because Australian canteens sold soft drinks, tea, and sandwiches. Well, I don't think they'll stand for that. Wait a minute, what sort of sandwiches? They'd better have been whiskey burgers. Although if you eat only sandwiches, bad shit happens to you eventually, apparently. Taxis? Wait, what?

What? Jared, the subway guy. So we're now saying that subway made him molest. Not a lot of people taking that angle, but he was just eating the subs like, man, kids are attractive. I used to be happy in my marriage, but then I started eating these spicy Italians. The first time was gone from a foot long to just a six inch thing. Can I get a two inch sandwich?

Can I get it without hair? Excuse me? Huh? What did you say? Huh? I thought we were just ordering. Can I get a non-tattler? Huh?

What's your question? I'm ordering. What are you? A hairless non-tattler on wheat. Oh, I got to sit down. Jared made naughty. That's the Jared. Yeah, like a foot long Jared.

Foot long Jared. A hairless non-tattler? Yeah, exactly what I was talking about. Taxis would only stop for USGIs and dance halls and movie theaters were taken over by US troops. How did we do this? How did America come here and make it America and segregated so easily? Because we are horrible. Okay, it is just because we're the most confident horrible ones, right?

Yeah, we're crazy loud assholes. Okay, just wanted to make sure. Thank you in the back. Thank you. Some Canadians in... Yeah. Canadians aggressive. In mid-1942 a reporter for the weekly newspaper Truth going along Queen Street and into a movie theater

counted 152 local women in the company of 112 uniformed Americans, but only 31 women accompanying some 60 Australian soldiers. Hello. The resentment began to build. Why? Because I had leftovers. If that? There wasn't even enough over here.

American Del Brooks was in a theater showing Walt Disney's animated classic Bambi. At one point Bambi cries out, Mommy, mommy, where are you? And from the balcony came a voice, She's out with some damn yank. Where do you think she's at? And that guy's not getting fucked. Travesty.

At the same time, U.S. soldiers were getting tired of inflated yank prices. What a bunch of fucking assholes. This place is expensive now. There was a markup in prices whenever GIs attempted to pay for basic food stuffs, entertainment or services. Americans also had to get used to the Australians' love of alcohol fighting and their sense of humor. But it's not like Australian soldiers had been behaving well before the Americans came. In 1940, Aussie troops had rioted in the middle of the city, breaking shop windows, stopping the trams and chasing away the city police.

On a second night of the riots, they were finally dispersed with police with batons. A few months later, Australian soldiers fought Air Force recruits who were known as Blue Orchids. Is that a put down? Is that what that is? A Blue Orchid? That's a sight, sir. You're a flower. During the enormous fight which was watched by many citizens of Brisbane, a tram was overturned. Jesus Christ! That's fucking crazy.

That's like Hulk strength. It's like Hulk downtown shit. Really angry. Australian guidebook was given to American GIs to help them understand the mysterious Australian and their bizarre sense of humor. The Australian will not like it when you do whatever you want and may comment. They're strange like that. Don't be put off, carry on.

Don't be put off, fuck their wife. Take her to the movie first. Go sing the national anthem, punch a black man and fuck that person's wife. You'll be back on top in no time. Here's the quote from the Australian guidebook. I can't. Two Americans walking to a bar, spot an Australian and say, You can go home, mate. We're here to save you.

The Australian looks them up and down, commenting, I thought you were refugees from Pearl Harbor. Oh. Wow, did it get warm in here? Hot. Is it hot? Hot, right? Hot, right? Hot? Hot, isn't it?

Isn't it hot? Did anyone hear him? Anyone hear him? It's hot, right? The Australian wives who married American servicemen were openly harassed in the streets. Many ended up having to escape to the United States. Political refugees. That'll teach ya. And yet, with all this, there still weren't enough women.

30,000 new dudes throws off the balance a little bit. The Australian said American men were using Australian women. Each day, the tensions increased. Hotels were only allowed to have one, sorry, two one-hour drinking windows a night. Those were insane. Hotels could choose two hours, and they could pick whatever they wanted them to be. They're called sessions. Really?

They don't have sessions, yeah. So there were sessions. And there was no alcohol in the Aussie canteens. So the pub opening would be greeted around the city with the cheer, the beer's on! And then? And then everyone would rush to the pub. Short and accurate. Hurry up!

You've got an hour! An hour! That order at the bar. Like, you know what it's like when you're in a packed place, you're like, I need nine drinks. If you have an hour, you have two hour windows a day. 95 beers! 200 bottles of whiskey! Quick as president, happy hour! All right!

We have to kill ourselves! So... Sniper in the back. So this hour, this session idea, led to large numbers of Australian servicemen on the streets running from one hotel to the next and drinking as quickly as possible before the hour was up.

That, of course, led to fighting in the streets between the Allied troops. Fights became more and more common up to 20 a night. Wow! It wasn't just Australians versus Americans and blacks versus whites, it was also townies versus soldiers. In October 1943... Civilians are getting involved!

In October 1943, there was a knife fight between Americans and Australians in Brisbane's Centenary Park. I just want to point out how hard it is to not do that this is a knife joke right now. Go ahead. Pretty hard, huh? It's not easy. I mean, I'm dying.

An Australian would... This is annoying! Sorry, sorry, sorry. Go ahead, sorry, I apologize. That was not... You did so well for... Well, I mean, it just really... An Australian was killed and three Americans wounded. Another American serviceman was arrested

for stabbing three servicemen and a Brisbane woman near the central railway station. Oh! He's having a bad night. What is he... Looked like she had a mustache! Want for me? There was a gun battle between an American soldier

and an Australian. An Australian soldier and Australian troops near Inkerman. Please tell me that's right, because it's fucking Inkerman on the paper. It's actually Inkerman. It's not Inkerman! Oh, that place! That left one Australian and one American dead.

An Australian soldier was shot by an American MP in Townsville at 20... What, did I say that wrong? Yeah, no, you're good. Shot's correct. You got shot Townsville. 20 Americans fought American submariners and members of the US Navy...

USN, shore patrol, hurting them badly. Okay, so you guys won that one. You kicked the shit out of a bunch of Navy guys. So it was on. We'll be done. The police... The MPs were involved in quite a few situations themselves, and they were heavily armed.

They shot an Australian soldier at a cafe. Yeah, but they're the police. Okay. Then rumors about a battle between two troop trains, one Australian and one American started. Supposedly, a train full of GIs was leaving a Roma Street station with tons of Australian women there, saying goodbye to them.

They were kissing them and hugging them and crying. At the same time, a train full of Australian soldiers, many of whom were wounded, arrived. As soon as the doors opened, it was on. You, at this point, you have to be... I mean, Americans just cheer like, we get to drink and fuck your women,

so you come back and like, I'm gonna fucking kill them. I'm gonna fucking kill them! It was bare-knuckle fighting all over the station, between hundreds of men. Crouching the fights! Crouching the fights! That's all they're doing. They're knocking them out by banging their heads

into their crotchets. Bam! We had a little side bit. Go ahead. Japanese propaganda and New Guinea had been focused on the idea that while Australians were fighting in the jungle, the Americans were back in Australia, fucking Australian girls.

So the Japanese were setting up propaganda saying that me would bang in your ladies. It's not propaganda. No, that's the thing, it wasn't. That's proper accurate. That's proper truth. That's proper right. That's proper proper.

That person's still really mad. Where the fuck are they? But as the Japanese invasion threat diminished after Allied success in the Pacific, and New Guinea, the internal brawling of Allied soldiers increased, then came November 26, 1944. Thanksgiving in America.

So much to be thanked before. We were celebrating the massacring of our Native American people. No, Turkey! He meant Turkey! We just love him. Go ahead, Dave. On the morning of November 26, 1944, an American soldier was batoned by an American MP

in the middle of Albert Street. Wow, that's in the city. You got that. One for ten. Batoned was sketchy. Yeah. Batoned. Batoned's wrong.

I think I made up batoned. I don't think batoned's a word. I think hitting him with a baton is probably a thing, but batoned is not. You don't have to leave. I like batoned. That guy's like a fucking load of batons. I love it. It's like planking. I love it. Then about 7 p.m. in the evening,

the streets were full of drunk soldiers. Two U.S. MPs stopped an American private named Stein to check his leave pass. Private Stein? Private Stein had been drinking in a hotel with two

with two Australian soldiers. He'd been drinking a Stein and a Stein in a pub with two Australian soldier friends. The drunk Stein fumbled through his pockets looking for his pass. The MP, Private Tonio Sullivan, irritated and started giving

Stein verbal abuse. Search better! Fuckface! The Aussies did not like how their friend was being treated. They argued. Then more Australian soldiers joined in and pretty soon

the MPs were confronting a large group of Australians ready for a fight when a nearby hotel bar emptied out. A session was over. What are the odds? Good. I'd say good.

The words settle a few scores were uttered. The more MPs showed up as backup. The MPs were pretty much despised by everyone, American, Australian, alike. They were aggressive and arrogant. I love there's this whole level

of hate. You are able to find a uniting force. We all hate the MPs, right? Do you remember the MPs earlier in the story? Had they just shooting people? I see where they are unpopular. Hey, there's New Daddy!

If you can't shoot a guy... If you can't shoot a guy across the bridge, then what's the point? This is a noif. At this point, the MPs were completely outnumbered and soon they were being chased down the road. They were being whipped by Australian soldiers'

belts. That is so fucking bushly. Honestly, there should be that music. It's like a slumber party fight. You guys should have, you guys should still to this day, every year have a

running of the MPs. Get your belts ready! Get your belts! Here we go, let's move, move, move! I'm gonna be an MP this year. Don't do it, son. And then while that's going on, a bunch of American tourists are just fucking the wives.

This is really a parade. It's called built-off tank. Here, take my belt! Thank you, Yankee. More Australians poured out of more pubs. At this point, they were half-carrying, half-dragging the beaten up O'Sullivan.

The running of the MPs is still celebrated, you guys. The Americans had what was called a American canteen, also known as a PX. At the corner of Adelaide and Creek Streets. Wow. I can't believe there's no one's...

It could be so nice. I can't believe there's no one he representing Crete. I don't have a Crete one yet. The MPs ran into the PX and outside the mob grew. They were now around 200 throwing bottles, rocks, and anything else that would fly.

Wow. Not emus. No emus. Damn it, they're just running further. More MPs came to guard the PX armed with guns and batons. Fighting broke out all over the city, primarily between American and Australian troops. The years of

build-up was being released. The Trivoli Theatre. Trivoli. Fuck. No. The Trivoli Theatre was closed with servicemen ordered back to their barracks and ships. Is it the Tivoli? I think it's the Tivoli. I don't think there's an R in there.

Oh, there's not? Oh, that's a spell. I mean, you know it's fucked up when Australians are telling you to add an R. When Australians have R beef, you're in bad territory. Australian women who were clearly dating American men had to be escorted out of the city by American soldiers with bayonets.

Most of them are escorts to stop with. I don't think you understand, mate. Get out. You're safer over here. They won't be able to fuck you over here. No, no, no. No, we're trying to, okay. The Australians continued to try to break into the PX. Plate glass windows were shattered with wood.

Wow. Truck tires were slashed. The signs were ripped out of the ground and turned into battering rounds. A brick was used to smash the face of one MP who suffered a fractured skull. From what?

Right, the brick. Mostly the brick. That momentum got him as well. It's not the brick that'll get you. It's the impact. Brick on its own, no problem. Coming at you. Bit of brick.

Big problem. Soon nine MPs were injured. Nine. And there was no response from Australian authorities. She'll be right, mate. No worries, no worries. Australian MPs took off their arm bands and joined the mob.

That's it. I'll fucking quit. I'll quit. I told him this would happen. That's why you gotta tattoo him. I've always said that. You gotta tattoo him. No, I'm an MP.

I'm an MP. That had changed. When the fire brigade finally showed up, they left without using their hoses on the mob. So what did they do? They were like, ah, this looks crazy. They were far outnumbered by the crowd. And that calendar's in fucked up.

The civilian police were far outnumbered by the crowd, so they didn't do anything. By 8pm, they were about 5,000 outside the canteen. Holy shit. This included over a thousand Americans. That's so great. That's awesome.

If you're winning, I'm on your side right now. Who are we fighting? Who's ahead? Who's winning? Yeah, fuck them. Agreed. They're winning. Yeah, fuck you. Punch myself in the face. Fuck you.

And the police, knowing they were ineffectual, remained a small distance away. Finally, Australian... Just watching? Hey, look at that. Finally, Australian troops showed up to put an end to the madness. But the cops thought they were rioters

and told them to hand over their weapons. I mean, what the fuck is going on? What the fuck is happening? Just a little misunderstanding, mate. No trust. You're here to help us, fuck you people. Enemy! The Australian troops

were not happy with the decision. Really? So they handed over their rifles to the mob. Yeah. That's an old saying here. If you can't beat them, arm them. I mean, it's just a thing. This really throws them off.

This is really Murphy's law. Fucking hell. The Japanese now, what are they doing right now? They're fucking... They're making sushi and preparing shops. Delicious, have you noticed that? Don't even cook it. Some guy walked in and hit Takashi.

Remember how you said to send out all that propaganda about the Americans fucking the Australian? Pin off, baby! We back, baby! We back, baby! Now the American... Yeah, we heard it. Now the American MPs...

American MPs were just hunkered dad in the canteen as it was destroyed around them. One Aussie soldier shouted, come out and fight you bastards. You're not game, you're yellow. Why don't you go and fight the Japs instead of fighting our men? Well, that's probably pretty poignant.

Well, the Japs are yellow, I mean, technically. Yeah, it was a very... He was ahead of his time. He really was. Someone was like, that gives me an idea! The 738 MP battalion in the PX

started to arm the MPs with shotguns in order to protect the building. What's up? Americans have guns. How you doing? Shit's about to get weird, right? The crowd did not like this turn of events. Eventually an MP, Norbert Grant

came out of the... You know, whenever I say someone's name in a mob situation... He's doing shit. It's important. They never just went to get some... I don't just pick out a guy and there was a guy in the crowd named Norbert Grant who did nothing. It was his birthday.

He grabbed a newspaper and went home. They call that pulling a Grant! I knew it. So Grant came out of the PX with a 12-gauge shotgun. There we go, dear. Some in the mob tried to grab it from him. Why?

Grant then jabbed an Aussie with the gun. He was grabbed by Moore and someone held him around the neck. The craziest this sounds, the shotgun went off. Wow, just accidentally. Just like that.

Two more shots were fired. Seven were wounded, five of them soldiers. As the rioting Australians and defensive Americans silently looked on in horror, gunner Edward Webster died from a shotgun blast directly to the chest. Jesus.

How'd you think it was going to fucking end? I don't know. The buck turned up and everyone went home. The ladies had a wash. A much-needed wash. I don't know. I thought they'd never stop fucking... The Americans got on their boasts

and went home. We fucked all of them! We fucked all of them! USA! USA! My dick hurts. Bad. My dick hurts so bad. It's scratchy.

Grant moved back toward the PX taking a moment to hit an Australian soldier over the head with the shotgun. Good. Grant was then set upon by the mob and received a severe beating. Then the crowd was slowly dispersed by military and civilian forces.

Finally, they're like, all right, let's get in there. I'm like, they're not in a rush either. All right, let's stop them. Finish up what you're doing there. Close out your tabs. Let's go end this shit. Close them out. One more round. Fine. Here we go.

Lost punches, everyone. You don't have to punch home, but you can't punch here, gang. Get out. Come back to my place. We're going to punch him back there. I'll call my dealer. He's got hands, man. Bring him over. Hey, I said last punch.

Sorry, sorry, reflex. I thought you meant this delicious fruit drink. By 10 p.m. it had quieted down, but the PX had been completely destroyed and scores of soldiers had black eyes, split lips, swollen cheeks, broken noses. Black guys or eyes? Black guys.

Black guys. Black guys. Every soldier got a black guy. This is not what we wanted! I'm glad happy. Speak for yourself. Swimming. American authorities tried to keep

the media reports of their riot quiet, but that turned out to be counterproductive. Rumors then started that a massacre of Australians had occurred at American hands using Tommy guns. Shit. And that the Australians had fought back with rifles stolen from a local

armory. So this is why you don't hold on to stories. It's creative. So great. They said bodies had been piled up on the post office steps. Deliver them. That's probably right, though.

The hostage is all wrong on these corpses. I mean, do you even know where you want them to go? This one looks like it's being stamped way too much. Over stamped. This one's not stamped at all. Swear to God. Instead of quieting down

the next night, Australian soldiers went out looking for revenge for all those not real corpses. Summer in the tropics. That is on their hands. Australians began attacking any American they ran across.

The next night, MPs started patrolling Brisbane in groups of six. The MPs wore steel helmets with gas masks. What? Carried pistols and tear gas. There were huge fights on Albert Street between US GIs and Australian soldiers. Outside

MacArthur's headquarters on the corner of Queen and Edward Street, the intersection was filled with Australians beating up GIs. US Army Sergeant I love that he's still on board. Fuck him. You heard what they did?

They deserved it for the not real train and the not real post office body. Sorry, I was in the bathroom five minutes ago but fuck him! US Army Sergeant Bill Benson said he saw, quote, Americans flying up in the air. There'd be a circle

and in this circle would be a yank or two and they were being kicked and hit any way the Aussies could do it. There were three or four circles. Those guys were just being beat. If there was any American and they couldn't get him through the crowd to the intersection, they just pushed him

over the top of their heads. And then another circle would be made. They were grabbing them by their arms and legs and throwing them up in the air to get them in the intersection. Listen, it sounds like we got pretty angry. It was. And invented stage diving.

It went on for an hour or two. When you having fun. Yeah? That's why, like, you should just train your military to be great at accents. Those are the weapons. Just become up like, are you an American? No, but if you find one, let's get him!

Well, it's none here. Anyway. Of course, the American MPs were armed with the pistols and the riot guns. There was a large standoff on Queen Street between Australians with batons stolen from MPs and MPs with guns.

Stolen batons? Stolen batons? That's so great. You'd think some of those MPs are like, he's going to get the guns somehow. Yeah, I mean, if history starts anything, it's don't. Officers from both countries

managed to end that situation without anyone being hurt. A Sydney woman was walking with her American husband when they were attacked by several hundred Australians. Hundreds of Australians. Fuck you, Sydney! You don't know what it's like up here!

You still got your woman! Where's the yank supper? Quote, I got knocked over twice and hit in the stomach and back in jaw. I couldn't see John except for about 10 soldiers punching him. I can't explain the terror of all these hundreds yelling

kill him, kick him, kick his brains out. In a civilized world and country you cannot imagine anything like this. Imagine 400 to one man. Have you ever seen such a mob gone mad? Well, that was like when the Americans used to go to the dance hall. She doesn't know how to party.

Yeah, she's very negative. The woman who wrote that to this day still believes Americans were kicked to death on the second night but the official record says that only 21 Americans were injured because they were taken to the hospital. On the third evening it continued

but not as extreme. At one point a jeep load of Australians was heading for the city center armed with grenades. Third day is always a kicker, isn't it? Like, grenades? Couple of days, things out of control. Third day, fuck this, let's go.

Throw it all up! Grenades! But a heavy military and civilian police stopped them and they were all arrested. For whatever reason, the Australian authorities on the first two nights were strangely not there, huh? Perhaps out of sympathy for their compatriots

but eventually order was restored and a board of inquiry was opened. Although Australians started the initial fight the Americans were also responsible. A US legal team tried to keep the board in the rightist behavior of the Australians. They didn't call Grant

the shooter as a witness. He was not even questioned about his actions. Interesting, interesting. He didn't need to be. He got put in a headlock and he fucking blew some dude up. Yeah. Grant was exonerated as were all the other US servicemen involved.

Three Australian servicemen said to be the ring leaders of the riot were arrested. What? How you like us now, man? That's how we roll. At least we got McDonald's. We win. We're getting rid of that, by the way.

Yeah, we're done with it. Burger King? You mean Angry Jacks? The fuck is going on there? We've got Burger King as well now. That sounds very confusing. Go ahead, Dave. The men were sentenced to five years

imprisonment with hard labor. Imprisonment? Prism in prison. An American chaplain Samuel Kerr testified that, quote, the riot was planned and premeditated and that the Queensland police stood by and watched.

This could easily be another action taken or not taken because of the Australian women getting banged. It didn't help the Douglas MacArthur and Thomas Blamey? He's the guy? That's the Australian leader, Thomas Blamey.

No, it's B-L-A-M-E-Y. Blamey. Your leader of your fucking military was named Blamey. Easy, Blamey, easy. What? What are we talking about? It was them the whole time. I didn't do it. What are we talking about?

Me? I wasn't even there. Wait, what is this? She did it. What is it? It was Corporal scapegoat. In the library. Huh? What is it? I'm just saying it wasn't me, it was them.

Huh? Right. It's cleared that up. It's clear. Want to be clear? Everyone else did it. Go ahead. But, Carther and Blamey, the two leaders of their respective countries had ill feelings toward each other,

which probably seeped down the line, despite all the fighting and putting down their anger as soldiers and the racial issues, the buildup of GIs in Australia continued and peaked in mid-1943 at 150,000. We eventually won the war, you guys.

Yeah. What on? The war on what? It doesn't matter what it was on, we won it. Oh, wait. Let me finish that sentence. We eventually won the war because by the end of 1944, two-thirds of Australia's

ports came from the United States of America. Get out of here, girl. Come on. When I said we won the war, I meant we won the war. Not amused. Holy shit. It's got really weird here. Not into it for some reason. They're telling us that the states you guys like that brashness, is that?

Is that not part of the brashness? Yeah, we'd like to use stuff like this. It feels a little blamey in this room. I'm not going to lie. There was never a true investigation of the Battle of Brisbane because both countries thought it would affect poorly upon them. The units involved...

Who does that? It was like, yeah, well, we both lose. So fuck it. Cool. Fuck it. Fuck it! Woo! Back on the boasts! We got away with it! Come on, get back on the boasts, guys. The units involved in the riots were relocated

out of Brisbane. The MP's strength was increased. The 19's were closed. Oh, the pain... No more tear soda for you! And your fucking sandwiches! I was really looking forward to the sandwiches. It's why it's hard to get a sandwich these days in Brisbane.

The American PX was relocated. It's still hard. It's still hard to get a sandwich. In the end, there was a riot in every major Australian city over women. Amazing. Wow.

It's amazing. It still is. That's terrific. Every city. No, get fucked enough! Riots occurred in Townsville, Rockhampton, Mount Issa. They're not major cities!

That was a guy in our army, major cities. Listen. Melbourne. Perth. Melbourne. Guys, easy. You guys are taking shit way too seriously.

Can I just say, there's enough women now. Everything's fine. Stay calm. Everything's fine. The Japanese get all riot-lip again. Everything's good. Was that the same guy that's been unhappy all night?

No, that person's over here. The Battle of Bondi? The Battle of Bondi? No, bullshit. Wait, the Battle of Bambi? Yep, Battle of Bambi. None of these riots stopped Australian women from banging American men.

It probably would have taken a nuke to end that. 1,200 war brides went to live in the U.S. and another 10,000 waited to be reunited with their American husbands. That war brides must be misspelled. I think that spell check got whore on ya. The old American PX

today is a 7-Eleven. Of course it is. Because what do you guys like better than 7-Eleven? Fucking everywhere. Holy shit. I like to think there's a little massage place upstairs too.

How do you guys... It's still there? Can you give me the exact address? We'll talk after. It's an Apple Store. It's an Apple Store. You know what? You guys have uggs. It really says it all.

It's a 7-Eleven and an Apple Store now. We figured it out. We sure got rid of you guys. You moved on from us. Yeah, we turned it into some Australian cultural shit. 7-Eleven and an Apple Store. It's like that.

It's like that, fuckers. Think you got a big footprint? Same team, right? Or what's going on right now? It feels like there's a divide. Feels like you left me, baby. That's it. Fucking crazy. Give it up for the research

of David Anthony, everybody. I'm going to toss it out. Make it rain. Make it rain? Yeah, make it rain. There you go. Hopefully one landed on the unhappy guy, wherever the fuck he is. Still not happy.

Clapped, but still very unhappy. Clapped, but unhappy. He might... He's right here and he's like, I'll go to the show even though my wife died this morning. But I'm not going to have a good time. Very slick, sir. It's hard for me to tell what you say.

Look, I have a ticket. Number two. Oh, I get you. How'd that go, bud? How'd that go? Much better in rehearsal. Adorable. I will say it's adorable. Fucking crazy.

I'm sorry to those of you who are brought here by a friend and are upset with your friend right now. But that's how these things go. Thank you for coming. Who's coming tomorrow? Well, it's the same story, so act surprised. Well, thank you very much

for having us. We appreciate it. You guys are fantastic. Thank you so much. Thank you.