The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 123 - The Yankee Pitcher Swap

Episode Date: October 14, 2015

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds explore the love lives of Yankee pitchers Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich. SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

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American history. Each week I read a story to my friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is gonna be about. Unless I tell him what you did the last one. It's true. This one I just know is crazy. Ah yeah girl. Do you want to look who to do? I'll do one bottle. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gareth. Stay okay. Someone or something is tickling me. Is it for fun? And this is not going to come to tickle you podcast. Okay. You are queen fakie of made-up town. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle. And do what? Praying. Hi, Gary. No. I see you've done my friend. No. No.

February 8th, 1942. Okay. Fritz Peterson was born in Chicago, Illinois. From a young age he was clearly an athlete. Okay. He went to Arlington High School in Arlington Heights, Illinois and was the number two pitcher on his high school team. Okay. Kind of a rib. The school produced a few major league baseball players. We're going into is this baseball? He went to college at Northern Illinois University and was still looked at as a hockey player with a future when he quit to focus on baseball. Okay. He was signed by the New York Yankees in 1963. Alrighty. In the minor leagues he made slow but steady progress. And these were

the years the Yankees were the shit. From 1947 to 1964, they won 14 pennants out of a possible 16. Total domination. 14 out of 16. Yeah. Wow. By his third year in the minors, Peterson was looking very impressive, particularly how few players he walked compared to his strikeouts. Okay. He was now playing in the top minor league team with a lot of guys who would go on to be Yankees. Peterson was invited to spring training with the Yankees in 1966. This is when the team had begun to slide and they were not as good anymore. Okay. But Yankees manager Johnny Keen was big on Peterson and at age 24, he became the number two starter

on the Yankees pitching staff. He made his MLB debut on April 15th, 1966 in Baltimore. Okay. Pitched a complete game, striking out three batters and walking none. The Yankees won three to two. Got his first win. The New York Times wrote of Peterson, not many young pitchers have his control. That's his strength, that and his fastball. Okay. That's a good one, right? I mean, everything looks up. Everything sounds great. CBS had bought a controlling interest in the Yankees in 1964 and that's right when the slide into being crap began. They finished, they had their first losing season in 40 years in 1965. In 1966, they finished last for

the first time since 1912. Wow. Well, that's pretty quite late. Yeah. But Peterson went 12 and 11 for the Yankees. He had a 3.31 ERA with 96 strikeouts. Then the manager was fired. Okay. Mike Kikic during the late 60s was pitching for the Los Angeles Dodgers. All right. But unlike Fritz, he wasn't making a splash. He was sold to LA fans as the next big pitcher and got a huge signing bonus. Sure, he could pitch hard and fast, but he had no control. Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda called him a little goofy. Interesting. It's never a good thing to hear from your coach. No. He was then traded to the Yankees in 1969. He

became roommates with Fritz and they became close friends. Okay. So this is a nice story. I feel like this is a friendship that's not going to blossom in a good way. Why? I feel like they're gonna get up to something weird and do something fucked up. That's strange. That's strange. That's my intuition. I can tell by what I'm saying that you think I'm kind of right. That's a strange thing to hear from you. Your eyes are rolling your eyes so much that I know you're lying. A story about two guys who bond and just have a great professional relationship. Okay. They got along so well and so do their families.

Both men were married. Both lived in New Jersey. They had two kids of same age. Both guys were left handers. They both talked to the devil. They both had beetle style haircuts. Sure. They wore paisley shirts. Everything's perfect. Okay. It's fucking perfect. Uh-huh. They sound like two wild and crazy guys. Besides not winning, they were living a good life. Of course this was before free agency so the most any player was making was $100,000. Sure. Peterson was making $800,000. At that time players would work jobs during the off season. Right. Fritz continued to have good seasons for shitty Yankees teams. He had the best season

of his career in 1970 with the 2011 record. He pitched 260 innings and only walked 40 batters which is fucking amazing. Okay. He was also the team prankster. Uh-oh. Yeah. Let's play prank, huh? He put talcum powder in a teammate's hairdryer. That guy was dusty. One day he had fake newspapers printed up about how the Yankees playing crash and he was the only survivor. Interesting. Interesting prank. Dark, dark. Oh, you think that's a little dark? Well, I mean the only thing that's good is that if you're reading that you're a Yankee and you're like, we didn't die. That's weird. It doesn't. But you lived? But somebody who like

picked that up in the trash was like, my god, Fred, have you heard? The Yankees died. We just got, we got a pitcher. We're the Yankees. Right. Oh, it's a prank. Good one. Once Thurman Mutson sent away for a holster for his 357 magnum and Fritz switched the order. So it would be a left-handed holster. Oh my god. Egg on his face. Hello. To see that expression. Oh my god. When he puts that on, he goes, wait a minute. Oh, no. I can't. Hey, Fritz. Fritz. In 1970, Fritz won the Good Guy Award given to the New York Sports Figure, judged to be the most cooperative with the media. Okay. Now, Mike Keckich was a

little more laid back. He was a classic California guy. Fritz and Mike, along with their spouses, Marilyn and Suzanne, grew close. Oh boy. There it is. Fritz. There it is. Right? Fritz was married to Marilyn and Mike. Let's just say they're hot tub people. Was married with Suzanne. All four had some college education which set them apart from most of their fellow players. The four became pretty inseparable. Both families would often visit the Bronx Zoo or the shore, enjoy a picnic together. Friends and neighbors were amazed and how close they all were. We had a tremendous amount of affection and compatibility all around, Mike said.

Mike enjoyed long, introspective conversations. As did Marilyn. At the same time, Fritz was the funny guy who was always in the moment with Suzanne, who was a former cheerleader in cross-country. Just to be clear, these are the ones they're not with. That's right. They started hanging out with each other's wives when the four got together. They would occasionally joke about wife swapping. Would they be joking? Which was big back then. Truth and comedy. Nothing happened. Wife swapping was big back then. In the 70s. Just be swapping wise. One day Marilyn asked another player's wife how many times a week it was normal to have

sex. She got the impression Fritz was not into sex with her. At least Marilyn wanted more anyway. And now it seemed like Suzanne, who was a tall athletic looking brunette, seemed to be competing with Marilyn for Fritz's attention. Okay. On July 15th, 1972, along with a few other Yankees and their wives, the four went to have dinner at a Yankee sportswriters house, Maury Allen. Marilyn, who was good-looking, petite and sophisticated, always wore a blonde wig because Fritz liked it. Okay. But tonight she was not wearing it. The beer was flown and Fritz and Suzanne were seated opposite each other. Their feet bumped

into each other. Then, one of them bumped back. Later Fritz would say, that was it. After the party, as they walked to their cars, Fritz looked at Marilyn, his wife, and said, why don't you go with Mike and I'll drive with Suzanne and we can meet later at the diner. Oh, good Lord. And that's what did it. Fritz and Suzanne had already finished eating breakfast when Marilyn and Mike arrived two hours later. Wow. This went on for a few months. It slowly became apparent to all four that perhaps they were married to the wrong people. Weird. By American standards, I guess I had a good

marriage, Mike said, but I wanted a great marriage. I was idealistic, I guess. So, in October 1972, Mike and Fritz switched houses. Whoa, what? What? What? They switched houses. Weird, okay. Mike was now living with Fritz's wife, Marilyn. I mean, they made a lot of movies about this stuff, but normally dudes are pissing in a fountain when it happens. Mike was now living with Fritz's wife, Marilyn, Fritz's two sons, and Fritz's dog. While Fritz was living with Mike's wife, Suzanne, Mike's two daughters, and

Mike's dog. I mean, what the fuck? Ah, what? The agreement was that if anyone was not happy with the situation, they would switch back. At first, everyone was totally down. I mean, the kids have got to be like, what? The kids have got to be going insane. Like, I remember when my parents got divorced, I couldn't understand what was good, but the idea that like... I'll send another guy. A dude is like, your dad? No, you're new. You're like, well, but I know you

really well. He's your dad now. No, but he's... Your dad now. No, he's Bobby. No, no, no, next door. No, Bobby's no, Bobby's the neighbor now. This is dad. Okay. Okay, this isn't Fritz anymore. This is daddy. Okay. And that's Fritz's dog too. Sorry, daddy's dog too. Okay? No, but... I miss daddy. He's right here. You can hug him. Okay. There was a point early on when the switch was called off and the two

pictures returned to their wives, but Fritz told his wife he wanted Suzanne, and Marilyn said she was in love with Mike, so they went back to their not wives. Wow. That was December 14th, and they made the move permanent at that point. Marilyn and Mike thought they were suited for each other, and so did Fritz and Suzanne. I feel like that's... But then Marilyn backed off, according to Mike. Oh. Turns out their attraction was more just sexual, and they didn't make great life partners. Oh, god. What is about... What is going to be this twist?

So they went to Fritz and Suzanne and asked for the redo, right? They had said, if it's not working, we'd go back. They're happy. A reset, right? Yeah, but they're happy. Fritz and Suzanne are happy. Fritz was not interested. Neither was Suzanne. Now, this was all happening during the offseason and spring training came. I mean, imagine... I mean, like, so what'd you do this offseason? I became Bobby. Pretty much. Who knew that trade had such implications? Wait, are you... In the offseason, I traded Bobby

to my wife, for his wife. The other thing is, on teams, you're never supposed to fuck with another player's girlfriend or wife. That's like a big... I mean, occasionally, like, fucking... John Terry was a fucking monster. Fucked his left-backs fiancee, and then ended up getting that guy, the other guy kicked off the team. Oh, wait, who did that? John Terry, for the Chelsea. That's right, yeah, yeah. He fucked his teammate's fiancee, and then got that guy kicked off the team.

Just classy, just a classy baller. That's some baller shit right there. So, spring training arrives. By the time spring rolled around, Marilyn and Mike were separated. Yeah. And because the guys thought too many people knew about it, they decided to both hold press conferences, the first day of spring training. What? Fritz held his at 10 a.m. and Mike hit 4 p.m. What? And what did they say? Uh, yeah, I just want to announce to everybody that, um, Bobby and I traded wives. Uh, you know, we did it. I'm super happy.

Whole families, actually. Uh, questions? Any questions? You and the everywhere. They thought it would be time to clear the air, and Fritz, now 31, said they hope the press wouldn't make anything sorted out of this. We hope you guys will respect what we're viewing as a very normal situation. The New York press is maybe the most respectful press in the world. You kind of have always, always aiming for higher journalistic integrity. The highest that there is. So... Just gentlemen who care about people. So, if you could understand that we know

this situation is a little strange, but I don't think anybody really needs to hear about it. Stop taking so many goddamn pictures of me. Mike. Why are there so many flashes going off? Mike, now 27, told the press, quote, unless people know the full details, it could turn out to be a nasty type thing. Don't say this was swiping, wife swapping, because it wasn't. We didn't swap wives, we swapped lives. What? What? It did, did he read this to anybody? He said this straight out loud to people who were listening. We didn't swap wives, we swapped lives.

Everyone's like, also a crazy fucking thing to do. Hey, same thing, sort of. Oh no, wait, worse. Yeah. Mike also admitted he was bitter because Fritz and Suzanne were still together while he was no longer with Marilyn. What? I mean, how, like, how do you not, if you're gonna do this, at least shield it. You're only making it more delicious. Since couples had to be separated for a year in New Jersey to file for a divorce, Fritz said he and Suzanne would have to wait until October to get their divorces and then marry. Couples had to be separated for a year at a time?

Yeah. Man. We used to have some real, like... Fuck, it probably still is like that in some states. But it's almost like it made marriage like a bigger commitment, which it should be, because so many people just go fucking get married and then get divorced in a year. Force them, punish them. The Yankees had already been made aware of the situation, which must have been a tremendous meeting. Yeah, they were like, all right, any news? Actually, yeah. Me and Mike want to talk to you about something. I married, I'm living with his

family and he's living with mine. Well, he's not anymore. I live with his family, but he is now separated. So he's got an apartment, but my wife and my kids are alone and I'm with his wife and his kids and his dog. Anyway, I was thinking that I could probably be the number one starter. Get out. But how do you break that? I don't know. How do you get into it? Fuck. I mean, I don't know. Oh, skip. One more thing. I've completely traded lives with.

So I'm sorry. Yeah. So we've traded lives. I accept. I'm going to go ice the arm. Get the tip. Later. Later. The Yankee GM said both players stated that did not want to be traded, but then Fritz immediately told the press that he had asked to be traded. I mean, Mike really didn't want to trade down because, quote, I want to be where Fritz is. That's the only way I can see my kids. Yeah. And his wife, who are now completely insane. His wife. I mean, he wants, he doesn't. Now he doesn't. He can't even,

I stood get traded because his family goes. So, you know, I mean, you couldn't put yourself in a weird predicament. It's very complicated. God damn. And I love that he's one of the dudes is happy. One of the dudes like this was a great call. And the other guy's like, my life was great, huh? You're enjoying my life. Both pitchers said that while the situation had complicated their personal relationship, it would not affect their relationship as teammates. No way. You could still support the guy who's you.

Mike said, we're still teammates. I suppose I'm fortunate in being able to disassociate myself from other things. When I play baseball, I play baseball with nothing else on my mind. He'll be a teammate. That's the only way to play baseball. And the way to play baseball is as a team. Did he get paid every time he said baseball? Just tears rolling down his face and said it, right? Yeah. The press? He said baseball 40 times in that. You can tell he's compensating for something. He's like, look, baseball, my wife baseball, he moved in baseball, and I'll still be baseball. Keep thinking about baseball. Or are you crying? Keep thinking about baseball. I married to a baseball.

My new family is a bunch of baseball. I used to be a football. He's just living like Tom Hanks and cast away with a bunch of baseballs that he's made his wife. This is my wife and my family and my base dog. His name's Ball. The press seemed to really want to understand how and why they had done what they had done. They really had no idea how to process what they were hearing. Yeah, welcome to my world. Phil Pepe from the Daily News, the Yankees beat writer, said it was hard to know whether to laugh or cry. George Steinbrenner brought the team weeks before, but mostly he walked around

pointing at guys whose hair he thought was too long. Ralph Hawk, the manager, sat there smoking a cigar trying to keep a straight face. There are degrees of love involved, Mike said. We all tried something with a common understanding. It was completely a faraway thing. It started with a tremendous amount of affection and compatibility all around. After a while, it became apparent that Suzanne and Fritz were really ideally suited for each other. Unfortunately, not the same for Mike and Marilyn. We had a strong physical attraction for each other, but we're born. We were born under the same sign. I mean, he's saying this to a reporter.

To the press. He's saying this to the press. He's saying this out loud to the press. Not a therapist. He's saying it to the press. He's a fucking open wound. I mean, seriously. He's an open, babbling wound. Yeah. Good God. We had a strong physical attraction for each other, but we were born under the same sign. So we sometimes butt heads. She and I are on a higher pitch in our emotions. It's a baseball player. What is he saying? What is he even talking about? It's 70s fucking babble. Dude, we didn't wife swap. We life swapped.

They talked about splitting up the children. Fritz's older son, Greg Five, would stay with his dad, and Mike's older daughter, Kristen, would stay with her father. But that didn't work. That didn't work, even after the wives switched places. Why would you, like the situation needs more complication? They're batting around ideas. They're batting around ideas. Terrible ideas. Susanna had come to spring training with Fritz, and when they held their press conferences, things had gotten a little weird, because Marilyn had just arrived in a last ditch attempt to work it out with Mike,

but it was clearly hopeless. So he just, just like clearly had a thing with Marilyn the night before he did this fucking. Oh, right. So it's like super raw. Like she came down and like, you want to try it one more time, and then it wouldn't work. And then he does the press conference the next day. Mike said, quote, there's still something very strong there for the two of us, but we're both so mixed up. We have qualities, idiosyncrasies, that rub the other person wrong. Yeah, I would like to work it out, but I'm really dubious now. Love is the strongest emotion. Dubious? You're dubious. Love is the strongest emotion I have

ever felt in my life. I'm one of the biggest soul searches around. I don't give a damn what other people say, but Marilyn does. I have a little heartache. I can't be with my girls, and I'm sad that Marilyn and I can't work things out. I can't tell you how perfect it would have been if it had worked. He said this to sport writers, sports writers thinking it wouldn't be a problem. He said it to sports writers. Perfect. It would have been. It's not a bank heist. It's like you fucking traded. You willfully gave up your life to another. You're like a tales from the crypt episode. I mean, what the fuck? This is a movie. Yeah, but usually in the movie, they wake up and they're like, well, I'm married to who?

Yeah, but now the idea that one is like everything's great. The other's like my life. Fritz said he was missing your whole life. Yeah, I missed my entire life. I gave it up last summer. Fritz said he was rooting for Mike and his wife, Marilyn, hoping they could work it out, but he was also loving it for him. This entire thing had gone great. Suzanne and I now both feel we're free people. Now we have free minds. I would have been, it would have been perfect if things would work out, but I don't feel guilty. He was asked if he had any regrets. Regrets? I have no regrets. Regrets. I have no regrets. Oh, only for my kids. It's hard to think of them with no father. Oh my God. Good God.

Because at this point, Marilyn had decided to take her kids to live with her parents in Illinois. Oh my God. But both baseball pitchers said they tried to make the situation easy for their children, and who they had switched families on with a teammate. I mean, thanks for trying. Thanks for trying to make it a little more normal. Fritz did feel bad that his kids quote didn't have a father now because Mike had moved out and Marilyn was a single mother. That eats me up, but I can't go back. I'll never go back. What? He just totally gave, I mean, it's like fucking monster. It's like, it's like when you touch a bird's eggs. Like he, like he, that's his, that's his, he's like, I can't go back now.

They were touched. Yankee's general manager, Lee McFail joked. Oh, we may have to, we may have to- Dude, I thought his name was Lee McFail joked. Oh no. I was like, what his name is? He joked, we may have to call our family day. Oh, shit. Greatest manager of all time. Dude, family day. Greatest manager ever. We're Fritz and Suzanne are there with the two kids, and then his other two kids are there and Mike's like, so what else has been going on? Yeah, we got to call it family day, I guess. Uh, how's Marilyn? God, they look happy, huh? Awkward. They look really happy. So that's my family there. My family looks great. Nice to see them again. I quit them last summer. I gave them up. Feel great. Love it. I quit them. I tell you what,

this lady's pussy I'm with now is just tremendous. They say 21 days to break a habit, it's about 21 days to get over giving up your entire existence to your neighbor. Then they went back to their baseball lives, or they tried to. They played spring training and were horribly booed. And then they headed to New York for the regular season where they were actually treated fine by Yankee fans. Baseball commissioner Bowie Kuhn was appalled but powerless to do anything. He later said he got more mail about the swap than about the American League's introduction of the designated hitter. Wow. That had just happened that year. Wow. Which drove baseball purists insane. It still does to this day. It's a crazy feature of baseball.

Because it's garbage. It's fucking garbage. Let's old fat men play. Suzanne was asked about it by a reporter. Okay. She said, we didn't have to do anything sneaky or eletris. There isn't anything smutty about this, but you have to admit there are some funny aspects. Like those kids not having a father and my ex-husband just being ruined emotionally and babbling to the press. Oh. I was like, what? She's like, I'll just be totally honest. It's kind of funny. Some lives got ruined, but you got to break some eggs to make an omelet, right? High five. Things were not good for Mike. He didn't pitch for five weeks when the season started. After he finally started pitching, he threw just 14 innings and walked 14 batters. He was

then traded to the Cleveland Indians. I mean, the one thing he said he didn't want. Dude. This poor bastard. He would later describe. Now he's just going to be in Cleveland alone. He would later describe his life after the swap as like going down a black hole. Oh, sweet bastard. And Cleveland Mike was, as he later said, a complete basket case. He could throw strikes in the bullpen, but as soon as he got in the game, he couldn't throw anything over the plate. At the end of the season, he went to play winter ball in Venezuela. Winter ball in Venezuela, which is something you do when you don't have a family. Yeah. No. Yeah. It's totally. He returned to Cleveland for spring training and seemed to have turned it all around. Okay. He pitched 20 innings

and only walked a couple of guys. But then just one week before the season started, he was released by the Indians. Oh God. This was extremely weird because not only had he pitched well, but that meant that Cleveland wouldn't have a left-handed starter on the team. I've never heard of a team without a left-handed starter. So that's not something that happens. And the reason is just because they're, they're all like, you're kind of weird. Well, fortunately, days later, they traded for another left-handed pitcher. His name was Fritz Peterson. Oh my God. No. No. Skip. I gotta know who you're going to get to replace me. No, you're not going to like this. Remember that guy, your wife got to replace you? You know the guy that has been replacing you for the past couple

years? We're going to get him. As the guy. As the guy. We're going to get him. He's just a winner. He knows how to win. Mike was signed by the Texas Rangers, but immediately was sent to the Miners. But that wouldn't work because after the divorce, Mike was $20,000 in debt and a minor league salary was terrible. An offer came to play in Japan and he was off. Jesus Christ. Now he's Mr. Baseball. Yep. Meanwhile, Fritz went nine for 14 that year for the Indians. But everywhere he played, he was booed horribly by opposing fans. He had been getting booed and treated terribly by opposing fans since the swap. On June the 2nd of 1974, Fritz and Suzanne were married. He was now paying alimony and child support to Maryland and the

kids. The next year he did a little better going 14 and eight, but his arm was falling apart. That year, Mike returned from Japan and went back to the Texas Rangers. There he met and married his next wife, Michelle. He spent a year playing with the team, appearing in 23 games and pitching a decent 3.73 ERA. So Mike's back. Mike's back. Sure. And of course, the next year in 1976, as he rode his motorcycle to spring training, he got into an accident in Orlando, Florida. He separated his shoulder on his pitching arm. Now nobody wanted him as a pitcher. He went to four doctors and everyone said he needed surgery, but that would mean the end of his career. He finally went to a surgeon who had treated famous

athletes like Sandy Kofax and Joe Namath. The doctor said to just rest the arm for six weeks and it would be fine. Interesting. The doctor was right. Really? He was back to his old pitching self again. No MLB team wanted him though, but he got a call from Mexico. He played there and said he felt that happiness again for the first time since 1973. He then went to play winter ball in Venezuela. Someone on his team got into a fight with a player on an opposing team and Mike tried to break it up. During the melee, his spleen was ruptured. What? Who fucking stops a fight and ruptures a spleen? Dude, he's got some explaining to do. I mean, this guy, at one point, they said he was 20 minutes away from death. Oh my God. He came back to the States and Mike's wife

then quote, regenerated his belief in the man upstairs and Mike was born again. Oh God. I love that to you. That's the worst thing that's happened. That's not a good sign. At the same time, Fritz was having problems in Cleveland. Contract negotiations weren't going well and his ERA was going up and he asked for a trade. They sent him to the Texas Rangers. He pitched for two games to the Rangers and then an injury ended his season. They dumped him the next year in 1977. His career was over. Everyone noted that he had a rapid decline after the swap announcement and though he denies the two are connected, pretty much all that know him agree it was because of the endless shit he got about the situation. From the fans,

he felt like he was being treated like treated like a criminal. Fritz was never the same after the swap said Yankee pitcher Fred Bean. He was practically destroyed by all the negative reaction. Mike came back in 1977 and pitched one final year for the Seattle Mariners. After that, he attended medical school in Mexico but never actually became a doctor. That's weird. There's nothing more about that. Already strange. Yeah. After baseball, Fritz also found God. Good. He and Suzanne moved to Barrington, Illinois and met some Christians and decided that was the way to live. He worked as an insurance salesman in sales, a blackjack dealer, a hockey play-by-play guy briefly. He considered himself living in semi-hiding but he never got used to working

real jobs in the real world. He wanted to work in baseball as a broadcaster or something else but all those avenues were blocked to him because of his swapping past. He's a swapper. Marilyn Peterson moved back to New Jersey with her kids and became a teacher. No word on whether or not she remarried. ESPN brought the story back to the public's attention just a few years ago and someone wrote a film script. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon were attached to the project and have been for over four years. Fritz signed on as a consultant. Mike does not want it to happen, just like the swap. Oh Jesus, Mike. Mike is supposed to be working as a real estate agent in New Mexico but no one could track him down. A news report said he was so panic-stricken

by the news about the film that he moved away and got a new identity. Oh my god. Fritz doesn't... By the way, he's only making the movie more interesting. I know. Fritz doesn't shy away from the spotlight though. He now writes books. He wrote about the famous former Yankees he played with and ended each chapter explaining why they would or wouldn't go to heaven or as he calls it, taking a dip in the lake of fire. He, like, America's got talented people's afterlives? He wrote a second book that explained and corrected the story of the family switch. He doesn't like the term swap. He's offended by it because it sounds crude and nasty. You don't get to be offended by this. Right?

Right? Quote, it was a couple of couples who loved each other who switched dads. I mean, how after all this time do you not have a good talking point down? How are you still stammering? How did you just say that? He thinks that sounds great. Yeah, you've had some time. I mean, there's ways to... There's ways to handle it but the dad's part is not a good thing to be bringing up. 41 years later, Fritz is still married to Suzanne. Fritz also wrote in his latest book that he's afraid that Mike will take a dip or maybe even swim in the lake of fire. Leave Mike alone, you fuck. You took his goddamn life.

Fritz is a psychopath. And what do you think? Does Fritz not think he's going to take a dip in the lake of fire? No, because he found God. He's a fucking psychopath. Dude, that guy is... He destroyed that guy's life. Man, that is fucking insane. Yeah, he's baseball. That is so crazy. Fucking A. Look, Jose's even freaking out over it. Yeah. If you like the dollop, please go leave a review on iTunes. Let them know. Let the people know, baby. You can find us on Twitter at the dollop. We're on Facebook or whatever, Facebook slash dollop, the dollop. You can email ideas to the dollop podcast at gmail.com. Please don't send

ideas to me on Twitter or Facebook. They are just way too hard to keep track of and I will lose them. You can donate to our Patreon, patreon.com, P-A-T-R-E. Be a Patriot. Be a Patriot. Just came up with that. That's funny. I'm going to tweet that. And there's tons of different levels. If you want to do that, that's great. If you don't, that's also fine. I just want to tell everybody out there I love them. Gareth loves you. You are the wind beneath my proverbials. You are the wind beneath his things. You are the wind beneath my things.

Me and Gareth are not going to swap. Man, now that would be fascinating. You here with a cat and then me going to fucking root for you. Yeah, you have a poor Heather. Oh, she might enjoy the action for a little while. Here we go. This is how it started. This is probably how it started. A joke. Imagine. All right, everybody. Sleep tight.