The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 125 - Puritans VS The Quakers

Episode Date: October 22, 2015

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds discuss the terrible relationship between the Puritans and the Quakers in Colonial America SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

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bi-weekly American History podcast. Each week I read a story to my friend Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the story is about. Whoa Jose! Take it easy! Cat? That was perfect cat timing. I mean this name's Jose too. Yeah. Do you want to look who to do? I'll do one bottle. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gareth. Dave, okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is not going to become a tickly podcast. Okay. You are queen-fakey of made-up town. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville! A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle and do what? Praying. Hi Gary. No. Has he done my friend? No.

Yeah. July! Oh boy. July? 1656. Okay. Sure. When the Puritans left for England, oh boy, left England for America, they did so because they were considered heretics. They were not a tolerant bunch. The Puritans. Yeah. In America they spent years creating a religious government called the New England Way. It was based on the independence and power of the individual congregation. Okay. So the colony of Massachusetts did not appoint like an overall head clergy and there was not one body that regulated all the churches. Each church self-ruled. Interesting. So it's like the states. Yeah. It is like the states. Right. But only one

religion was allowed. So you could only be... You could only be a Puritan. And... But within that, if you were in a different church, they would have different interpretations of being a Puritan? No. I don't think there's different interpretations of being a Puritan. But then, within the... Within being a Puritan, you got to kind of run your church any way you wanted. I feel like that's gonna come back to bite them in the ass. Look, it's not a great idea. Because, yeah, that's too... That's too much power. Here we go. So the Massachusetts Bay Colony was a Puritan theocratic state in the 1650s. There was no tolerance of

other religions and religious outsiders were persecuted and banished. Jesus. The Puritans thought if they let outsiders live in their colony, they would lose control of the colony. Okay. So people come in with other ideas. That's not good. Then someone's like, hey, that's a cool idea. No, it's not a cool idea. The way you're talking about Jesus. Get the fuck out of here, both of you. You're banished. I love that. Wow. Then in 1656, Quakers started arriving. And the oats they brought. Jose just did a backflip. Dude, I don't want you to know that I give the cat cocaine, but I think that's pretty clear. The first Quakers who arrived in Boston were

Mary Fisher and Ann Austin. Okay. Did not go well. Uh-huh. They were treated like they had the plague and then brutalized. Brutalized meaning... First, their possessions were confiscated. I feel like it's gonna get worse. A trunk they had that contained Quaker pamphlets and a hundred books was burned. Okay. They were strip searched. Interesting. Accused of witchcraft. Always a good accusation. And then jailed. Jesus. Just for... And then... A different idea. While in jail, they were denied food. Ah. Which people need. Yeah, you have to have that. People need food. I've always said that. The windows of the jail were then boarded up so that no

Puritan could look in and see them. Well, because obviously their witchcraft can't go through wood. That's right. While they were in jail, eight more Quakers arrived on a ship from England and they were put in prison and beaten. I feel... Are there more? Then an edict... Then an edict was passed that any ships captain who brought Quakers to Boston would be heavily fined. Okay. Then they made the captain who brought the eight Quakers take them back to England. Oh Jesus. Worse than jail. After three weeks in prison, a man named Nicholas Upsall came to Mary Fisher and Anne Austin's rescue. Okay. He had to pay a fine to be allowed

to speak to them. Wow. Because you couldn't speak... So you couldn't speak to people of other religions, or else you'd get fined. So the only way to speak to the two that were in prison was to pay the fine first. And then be like, yep, alright. One conversation, please. He also paid a fine to be able to give them food. Oh my God. What? That is... Well, I mean, you can feed them, I suppose, but you're gonna have to pay the feeding fine. Alright, so that's... How much for all that? Well, grand total after talking to them, feeding fine, looking at them feet. Looking them in the eyes. Talking to them feet. You gonna be winking? I thought I might wink,

yes, perhaps. Winking, oh Christ. Thirty. Attack that on taxes, commission. 140 quid. 140 quid, please. The women were kept confined in prison for five more weeks, and then they were shipped off to Barbados. Wow. Just for a vacation. Yeah. Thanks for coming to America. Now get away. Then the Puritans got super serious. They banned the Quakers in 1656. Okay. Then they passed, they passed a law against it, did the whole nine yards. Sure. And then they did that again in 1657. Re-passed that law? And then in 1658. And then in 1659. And then in 1660. Sure. Each law would increase the punishment for being a Quaker a little bit. Well, I mean,

the punishment for just showing up was already pretty awful. Oh. But they were also doing this because the Quakers kept coming. So each year they made it worse, because Quakers were still rolling in. Right. Why don't they just build a wall? Oh God. If a Quaker came to Massachusetts, they would send him to jail, or to be whipped. Whipped for, for, or given hard labor. They could also be branded. Branded. They can have their ears cut off. Why would they cut their ears off? Don't listen. That way you can't hear the views of other Quakers. This. It's a thing that sticks out. And then if it's gone, people are like, what did you do? Huh? What did you do? Why did it? What, what did you do? I think he's

talking to you. I'm not sure what's happening right now. Huh? They could also have their tongues bored through with a hot iron. Well, that'll stop him from talking about being a Quaker. That is. That's it. That's it. We've got our sitcom from the 1650s. A guy with no ears and a guy with a hole in his tongue. Well, one of them doesn't have an ear and the other guy can't talk. Tonight on tongues and ears. Or they could also be put to death. Jesus. It's a little hardcore. Still getting over the ear cut off a little bit. Yeah, it's a little rough. That's tough. That's a tough one. Well, the hot poker through the tongues. Not great. Not great. Not great. The Massachusetts Puritans sent letters to other New England colonies to try to get them

on board as well. Connecticut was like, fuck, yes, we are down. All right. Rhode Island said, no, we're good. They were a little more tolerant. No, sounds a little much. It's hilarious. They were tolerant and Providence, which is like a big gay city now. Yeah. So, hmm, yeah, shit stuck. Yeah. They also set up fines of 54 pounds for having any Quaker books or writing concerning their devilish opinions. Sure. 40 pounds for defending any Quaker of their books for defending like if you were like, oh, let him, let him keep their books. You're 240. What? Yeah. I just said, let him keep their books. 40 pounds, 44 pounds for a second offense. So if you defended them twice, but it being you can't do the follow up, you're like, hey, leave them be 40 pounds. Anything

else? I just think you should 44. Oh, what the fuck? 48. I swore jail cut off his dick. You would, you would get put in like the stocks at this time for swearing. I can't. Yeah. And then we're supposed to deal with the stocks would be that you would just how long would you hang out? You just hang out there all fucking day. Okay. So the thing about I wish I wish that I could find this about the stocks, but an author at one point said that one of the reasons the stocks were so horrible is because you would get put in the stocks and then people would just come out at night and fuck you. Oh, what? Yeah. What? That's that's what somebody said like that. But I can never find any support of that. But also that's not something they would talk about if it is a really crazy time

to imagine that you could just fuck a stranger up the ass on the street. It wouldn't even be a stranger if you're from the same town, you're like fucking Larry. Larry. Hey, man, it's from behind so no one can see who's doing it. You just, hey, who is that? Hey, Bob. No, that is you, isn't it? Huh? We should call this episode. You finally broke my sandal. Oh, did he break your sandal? Jose had a girl. It's a boy. Whatever. So the laws are read on the street corners in Boston and people and they would beat drum while they read the law for emphasis. Quaker George Bishop described the punishment of one Quaker. The drum was beat. The drum was beat, the people gathered, Norton was fetched and stripped to the waist and set with his back to the magistrates.

And given in their view 36 cruel stripes with a knotted cord and his hand made fast in the stocks where they had set his body and burned very deep with a red hot iron with H for heresy. So they put a guy in stocks, they fucking beat him with a whip and then they branded him with an H. The knotted rope. The knotted rope. You know what, these are just good religious peoples. I guess you knew at the time, but it would be the H you could just totally play off. Like it's, I like horses. Yeah, exactly. Not just a big horse guy. Always love the pony. Yeah, got it on there about a week and a half ago. Is that H for heresy? No, it's for a H. How you doing?

No, it's for Harry. How you doing? I thought your name was Jeff. Yeah, it is. What about the no explanation answer? Yeah, that's right. It is Jeff. Anyway, want to get some ale? A leading minister in Boston summed up the spirit of the locals with this quote, I would carry fire in one hand and faggots in the other to burn all the Quakers in the world. Now, now, right. Baggots. Baggots means something different at this time. Yes, okay. It means a bundle of wood. Right. But yet a hilarious quote. Yeah. Yeah. I'm taking off the hat because it's so hot. You sure? Now, while it may sound like the Puritans were being total assholes here, let's step back and look at the situation. Let's take a bigger step back. Okay. The Puritans

were English-reformed Protestants who wanted to purify the Church of England from all Roman Catholic practices. Okay. But they were blocked from changing the Church from within and were severely restricted in England by laws controlling the practice of religion. Okay. They eventually came to power in the English Civil War but then lost it and the royal family was restored. Okay. New laws were passed and many Puritans left some of them going to the New World to practice their religion unfettered. Okay. I like when I use a word like unfettered. Sure. Yeah. They battled the wilderness and starvation to set up their colonies and here the Puritans were supposed to live exemplary lives in every respect so that anyone they dealt with, even strangers they met,

would see God through them and be inspired to see God. Okay. Now, obviously, when it comes to the Quakers, they did that to different policy. No. They wouldn't even let them look at the Quakers. No. And putting a hot poker through someone's tongue is not like you should, you should really believe in our God. Yeah. Our God's better. Look, here. You ready? Okay. Who's your God? Right. Who's your God? Huh? And then there are the Quakers. George Fox lived during the time of England's social upheaval and war in 1647. He started preaching. He'd do it in fields and marketplaces and meeting houses anywhere he could and then he started to attract a following and they traveled around with him and at first they were calling themselves the Children of Light

or Friends of the Truth. Interesting. And then just shortened to friends. So no one told you life was gonna be this way? Quakers, friends. Well, and often they would dance in fountains. Yeah, they're just dancing in the fountains. Fox just wanted people to know the genuine and simple principles of Christianity. Sure. That's all. Yeah. That's all he wanted. Sure. Because there were many different Christian groups in England at this time, it enabled George and his friends to kind of take hold. Okay. So there's a lot of fucking religious shit going on. So you can be a fucking crazy in a group and get a bunch of followers, right?

Without, because if it was just one group, they'd be like, kill them. But since there's so many, he preached about his own personal experience. He was harshly against immorality and deceit and told his listeners to live lives without sin. He was completely uncompromising, very argumentative, and quite contradictory. No wonder he was such a hit. This set the tone for the religion. The Quakers experienced explosive growth. At first no clear outline of principles or tenets. What they did was define their views by rejecting the ideas of others. They defined their views by rejecting the, so... Yeah, you read that, you heard that right. So how do you find the...

They're like the Republicans. No! Right. Yeah. Okay. That's all. Right. Yeah. So they don't, if you actually ask what they believe, it's like, well, I don't read a Bible. I tell you what I believe. I believe you're wrong. What about what? Exactly. Yeah. Your whole thing. The whole deal. I support the opposite of what you are doing. Bullshit. You know your thing? Bullshit. What is your thing? What are you? Well, it's not your bullshit. I'm trying to have a conversation with you. Well, we are having a conversation. All right. Cool. Yeah. Great. Cool. Great. I'm trying to be nice to you. Are you? I don't know anymore. Maybe you'd be nicer if your God was better. Goodbye. Goodbye. So long, asshole. You know what you gotta do? Join us, join up with us, though.

Well, I am looking for a group, so this is great. Thank you. So they're basically professional assholes. Right. They offered salvation for all and a sense of unity with God, but most important followers were urged to turn the light of Christ, to the light of Christ within themselves. Scriptures were far less important than the inner spirit. Because of this, they rejected the necessity of clergy to interpret and lead. Okay. So, so far. Yep. Go. The last couple things you said, I like a lot about a religion. Okay. Right. And that's probably why they were attracting people. Yeah. Because there's no clergy. Right. And it's about self growth. Your inner, yeah. Inner deal. And you're in a relationship with whatever it is you're totally, totally agree.

Okay. It's almost not religion. Well, it's just too good to be true. It makes sense why other people would put pokers through their tongues. The Bible was called, quote, a book like any other. That couldn't have gone overwhelmed. I mean, that doesn't go overwhelmed now. The stories of Christ didn't matter as much as one's own feelings of the present. Heaven existed within the Quaker. Yum. Quakers also started claiming miraculous powers. Okay. Interesting. George Fox said he cured over 150 people by laying hands on them. Some took it too far. One Quaker dug up a corpse. Okay. Commanding it in the name of the living God arise and walk. Hey, Ted. Hey, Ted. Yeah.

Up. Upsy-daisy. Teddy. For God who's in me. Get up. Yep. Why don't you come in, man? I feel like. No, I'm getting. Barney's coming back, baby. You've been, you've been out there for a little while. Get out of him. Teddy. Hey, Ted, come inside. Name a God. Come on, Barney. Ted, why don't you come up? Name a God. Check it in the morning, huh? Barney, name a God. Let's go. Get him. I dug it. I dug him back up. Oh, no, we all remember. The dirt's off him. He can get out. Whenever you're ready, buddy. All right. I'm going to turn in. I'll leave it unlocked. All right. Me and Barney will be in a little bit. Cool, man. Come on, get up. Hey, Ted. You need to shower, bro. Ted, just check. Come on, man. I mean, that is so great when the guy

takes one guy's like, we're going to, I need a haircut. I command you to walk. Uh, the Quakers also did a lot of shaking and shrieking in their congregations, which led to their name. They sound like, um, what are the? Yeah, Baptists, right? Yeah, what are the? A little Baptisty. What's Southern Baptist? Yeah, they got a crazy name, though. The, uh, the snake, the snake holders. Yeah. Uh, they were destined to clash with authority because they did not believe in compromise. Their first enemy was the church and the priests who lived in luxury. They wanted to end university educated priests and instead have a ministry of simple men and women. They had a democratic tone and attacked privilege. The wealthy were denounced and of course those

in charge started to become concerned and thought the movement would bring social anarchy. Yeah. They refused to bow. Oh, this is England. Get out of here. They would not remove their hats for superiors. Oh my goodness. Like a spit in my eye. And they would not acknowledge titles, which is basically they just told all of England to fuck off. Yeah. I mean, seriously, if you won't bow and you won't say a title, you're like, what's up, man? That's the king. How you doing, bro? Oh, I'm not going to take off my hat. I got a hat head. Excuse me. No. You will bow and take your cap off. Okay. No. I'm a prince. Right. Don't bend. Don't bend in the middle. Hat head. What's your name, Barry? Prince Barry. Hey, Barry. Prince.

Printers and their supporters were dragged into courts on any charge that could be thought of. Vagrancy laws began to be used against them because they were traveling around preaching. So they were vagrants. New laws were written to target them. The Quakers rise in popularity is one of the reasons the monarchy was restored. Many thought it was the answer to stop the drift of so many crazy sex. Jails were then filled with Quakers. They were the most attacked of all the sex in England. They were denounced and physically assaulted. One preacher in Colchester was viciously hit by a blind zealot who struck him with a violent blow from a great staff saying, that take that for Christ's sake. Jesus. Awesome quote. That goes

in the trailer. Take that for Christ's sake. That goes in the Quaker trailer. Quakers. That could be a show. Quakers on an all new Quakers. Take that for Christ's sake. It's a fucking great line. Ted finally gets Barry out of the grave. I knew you'd get up. But this wasn't surprising because the Quakers were disrupting church services and even funerals. Oh man. So because they don't believe in organized religion. They just don't give a fuck. When they see organized religion. Anything. So a funeral or anything. They just run in and start fucking screaming. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck everything. Why did that? Just chicken dancing down the aisle. A lot of time they just looked insane. One Solomon Eccles walked through Smithfield quote with his body naked and a pan of fire burning

on his head. What the fuck? What? I mean he made his point. I mean he made his point. People will be like what do you want to talk about? Hey man. Hey. Oh this burns. I should have put something between the pan and my head. Oh boy. He was arrested. For what? I feel like. What did he do? Well theft. Yep. Okay. The Quakers would be hit with stones, dirt, eggs, human feces. When Anne Cock disrupted a service an angry tailor threw a pot of piss on her. What? Jesus Christ. Well they didn't have bathrooms so they had you know I'm sure they were just like a piss pot over in the corner. Oh yeah no they were all piss in the pot. And so she came in and the guy just threw piss on her. Just like Jesus would have done. Threw piss on her. That's the same. That's in

that's in the Luke. Throwing piss. Threwing your bucket of piss. I don't know. They were they were described as cannibals and Satanists. The Quakers became accustomed to being attacked. So these were the Quakers that the Puritans knew of when they arrived in the colonies. Right. Make a little. Yeah. Now you got a little. Right. They've sort of the. Now who's side of you on. White trash off breed of the original concept. Well it's like it's like uh it's like okay so you got a bunch of you got a bunch of cocaine users and then the meth the meth heads come in. Right. That's basically what this is. Right. Right. And uh based on what happened in England with the Quakers the Puritans did have reason to fear the Quakers would come and upset their religious state.

Yeah. Right. The Quakers coming to America were not peaceful religious people in the colonies they would yell in the streets bang pots and pans shout during Puritan church services and also of course strip naked. They stripped naked to show that they weren't attached any worldly possessions. I mean they're just assholes. We're just describing assholes. Like you made me take the Puritan side. Like they're just fucking walking out banging pots and pans. I like the naked thing. I like the naked thing a lot. Is there any circumstance where someone banging a pot and pan isn't just fucked. I don't think there's any excuse to bang pots and pans. Unless you're three. Yeah. Oh no. Unless you're playing them like drums and you're a kid. That's

the only reason. But outside of that. But getting naked is a great way to just get it. It's not bad. It's it. What can you do. Nobody's telling back then. Yeah. These people are. Oh and this is I mean I guess like a naked woman back then would be insane. Oh yeah. But then they had all the whorehouses. So not not the Puritans. Not the Puritans but still like the in England in London. In the States too eventually. Yeah eventually whorehouses. Enough about whores. One Puritan wrote over disturbance in sermon time there came in a female Quaker in a canvas frock her face as black as ink led by two other Quakers. It occasioned the greatest and most amazing upward that I ever saw.

So she came in with black face. Yeah. And in a canvas bag. She came in a canvas bag with soot all over her fucking mug and was banging pots and pans going like. At this time the Puritans also began to prepare for independence. They elected their own governor and general court which was basically a legislature and a judiciary and they built forts to protect their harbor and held drills for their militia regularly. This did not please the king Charles II. Okay. He also wasn't happy with the Puritans because they had killed his father. Oh and two of the judges who had sat at his father's tribunal escaped to New England in 1660 and were received as heroes. The problem was that because the Quakers were who they were

the more legal penalties and punishments that were increased against the Quakers just made the Quakers want to come more. Oh Jesus. Don't fuck with them. Jesus Christ. It's just it's like one of those movies where they're shooting an alien and then they go don't shoot them. They live off of energy. Or you just shoot them and they split into hundreds more. Oh God. So more punishments means more Quakers but they keep increasing punishments to keep the Quakers away. It seems like that's not going to work. One of those was Christopher Holder. He was one of the eight who had been imprisoned early on. At that point he was just 25 years old.

As soon as he got back to England he immediately started trying to figure out a way to get back to the colonies. He eventually found a Quaker boatmaker and got a boat. A Quaker boatmaker. That's that's the spinoff. Right. And an all new Quaker boatmaker. I forgot what the first show was called. The first show is called I mean I don't know if we necessarily gave it a title but it was Earless and Mumbles. Earless and Mumbles followed by an all new Quaker boatmaker. It's got to be more bendy. Special guest star. Michael Cain. With a crew and some more Quakers some who were part of the original eight Holder returned. First he went to Providence where he he tried to deliver a message from George Fox

to the leader of the colony Roger Williams. I think his name is Richard Williams and it's got changed but Williams. Williams was a very open-minded man to other religions. He wasn't one of the bad ones but even he couldn't stand the Quakers and he refused to take the message. So they travel across the ocean and they go I've got a message from George Fox. I'm good. Decline. I'm gonna go ahead and pass. I'm gonna put that in your pocket. No you're not. Then the old spam folder. Get the fuck out my man. Out. At this point Holder was traveling with another Quaker named Copeland. They went to a town called Sandwich.

Wouldn't you go to Sandwich? Fuck yeah. Get the pasta. I love that one of the earliest towns in America. Sandwich. Was named after it. Just simple minded. Simple lunch. We'll call this one Sandwich and we're actually going to take the family down to side salad this afternoon. But this is probably while they were like eating roots out of the ground. God I could go for a sandwich. Imagine a sandwich. Eating roots out of the ground. That's it when naming a sandwich. Eating roots out of the ground. Now in Sandwich they had just lost their minister. And the minister of sandwiches? Yep. The townspeople were looking for someone to lead them religiously and were open to the message of the Quakers. They're like yeah anybody come on in

and tell us what to do. This became the location of the first friends meeting in America. Copeland Holder then went to Plymouth and were not received well. They had confrontations with local congregations and were forced to leave. They traveled visiting several other communities and finally found themselves back in Massachusetts in Salem. Oh god. Great joint. Great place. Very casual laid back people. Yeah yeah. Super understanding. They went to. Always willing to hear the other side. That's right. They went to a service at the congregational church. After the sermon Copeland got up and back and questioned the message that had been delivered. Excuse me. I have a question. Uh huh. Wasn't that all ridiculous. I'm sorry. Later.

I'm sure it went more like well that was a bunch of horseshit because they're Quakers. Well they're naked. The people in the congregation were not down with it and Holder and Copeland were beaten. Holder was pulled by his hair across the church. Oh. Then a leather glove and a handkerchief. Chiff were shoved in his mouth in an attempt to stop him from living. Jesus Christ. Another Quaker who just happened to be there jumped in and pulled out the glove and handkerchief. The three were then taken to Boston and imprisoned. This time Holder was held for 10 weeks. He was whipped 30 times as near to the same place as possible with each stroke. Get it right. I mean that's hard on the guy with the whip.

Yeah. I want you to start a crease. I want you to keep hitting the crease. Okay. Saw through it almost. Did you practice last night? I did a little bit. I feel good. Okay. But once you hit in there, I want you to keep in the groove. I'm starting to get a little nervous. What? You're really amping up the pressure. I mean, I just I'm just like are you okay for the well you're not just going to use your job. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. My job defines me. My work defines me. That's all I am. I'm a whip. I'm a talking whip. Okay. That's all I am. All right. We're going to need another whip. Oh, here we go. You see how he talks to me. Holder and Copeland and another man,

Dudney, were then banished from the colony. Even people who were supportive of the Quakers were punished by the Massachusetts colony governor, Endicott. He was super hardcore. Okay. The Southwicks of family, local family, found themselves in trouble for just that reason. They were in prison for being supportive of Holder and then forced out of the colony. They had a son and daughter and the governor tried to have them put into slavery. Oh my God. How would that even work? I know. Well, but this is member of people or there's tons of slaves at this point. Yeah, but it's just like a daughter. You just send them to you go go work. You know, you're you're living for that family and you're going to dig up their roots. Oh, cool. And then we eat them, right? Yep. Awesome life.

When they turned 12, the local Puritans were not down with the whole slavery thing for the kids. And the kids were... Slavery for the kids. Slavery for the kids. Slavery for the kids. Yeah, your name. We're taking a vote. Yeah, yeah. I mean, this is a no brainer. Holder went back to England where he sailed to the West Indies and then Barbados and then back to Rhode Island. Copeland joined him there. At this point, there are only 15 Quaker missionaries in the colonies. Holder and Copeland went back to sandwich where they were caught. They were marched down to another town tied to posts and lashed 33 times. They were then returned to Rhode Island. Holder was seriously hurt from the repeated beatings he had taken. And he went to Providence to heal at the home of a friend,

which he did. And then he and Copeland went back to Boston. What is he doing? It's fucking insane. Why? Just because you got to go back and go, the light's inside of me, baby. Okay, we're gonna, I guess we're gonna break you again. Good luck getting in there. All right, guys, I'm gonna go to Rhode Island for a couple months. I'll see you. I'll see you in spring. If you whip me deep enough, you'll see the light. Yeah, don't whip too hard. You better put on sunglasses if we're gonna hit the same groove. What are sunglasses? Governor Endicott had told them they would have an ear cut off if they got up to their Quaker bullshit again. But they went back. They're taking ears? On July 1658, they were arrested, taken to a jail cell, and each had an ear cut off. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Jesus Christ. Word that their ears had been cut off, spread through the colonies. They were playing stuck in the middle with you when they did it, right? Doing a little dance. Yeah. So, okay, so now, so now sympathizers pour into Boston. All of them are put into the prisons. An old Quaker woman told the governor to his face that what he had done was barbaric, and he had her lashed 10 times with the whip. Jesus, that's not how you combat that claim. Not how you do. Not old ladies. Oh, I'm barbaric. You fucking bitch, whip her. Wait, sir? Yes? No, but you're, you're sort of... Get, whip her, or I'll whip you too. But you're making her point.

I understand what I'm doing. I'm being nice. Whip her. Doing my job. Holder was then released, and he had himself. The following spring, he came back to Massachusetts. Oh, what? Old one ear backsguard holder. Yeah. But this time, he managed to avoid being captured for a few weeks. Then he was found in Salem and arrested again. Again. He was beaten and banished. But, as we understand our hero, he returned to Boston again in August, where he was quickly arrested. I have light inside of me. God damn it. Get the light out of him. Now the governor wanted to kill him, but was worried people would be too upset, because Holder now had a high status and a lot of connections.

Imagine showing up to a town so much you got to get killed. It's like, you won't... Oh my God. I know this is going to make sense, because it hasn't been made yet, but have you guys heard of Michael Myers? Have you guys heard of that? I know it's in the future, but have you heard of it? The dude just beating the fuck out of him. He's taking his goddamn ear off. He's not going to stop. I mean, I want to kill him. Here's the weird thing is, you can't really hide me more, because you have one ear, like we know who you are, the old incognito thing with the ball cap on, not working.

But he was not killed, because he at this point was so well known and had a high status. In November, he was once again banished. He went back to England, but just five days later, two of his Quaker friends were the first to be hanged in Boston. Oh shit. They would become known as the Boston Martyrs. Unfortunately for the Puritans of Boston, a Quaker got close to King Charles II and said bad things were going on in the colonies, and if it wasn't stopped, it wouldn't end well for anyone. King Charles II vowed to put a stop to it, and did so by signing an order in 1662.

The order was delivered to the colony by a Quaker named Shatek. Shatek was the same Quaker who had saved Holder from almost choking into death by pulling the glove out of his mouth. He had also been banished and would have been told he would be killed if he returned. Now here he was. When Shatek returned, the people learned of the order and yelled in the streets, Shatek and the devil has come! You're like, please can we keep it down a little bit? Could you imagine living now? Can we lighten up? Guys, can we just... Everything isn't attached to the devil or God. Can we just fucking relax? But we're still... I mean, in this day and age, we're still basically the same shit. We're still arguing over this fucking things that we have no

way of really having evidence on is what we argue on all the goddamn time. Well, I mean, you don't have belief, but I get it. I mean, the evidence is in your heart. Right. I know Jesus lives. I might have to whip you. When Shatek met with the governor, he was told to take off his hat. Nah. He did. He did? Then he gave the governor the order and the governor said he could put his hat back on. Okay. Sure. And then the governor said they would obey the king's order so they couldn't inflict corporal punishment on the Quakers anymore. Quakers who was said to be, quote, obnoxious would be sent back to England for trial. He just sent them back to the factory?

Yeah, they just put them back on the boat. Holder eventually returned to New England and lived in Newport, Rhode Island. In 1673, things had changed so much that George Fox came and visited the colonies. Holder lived in the colonies for a while and was well thought of. He had clearly won. But then things started going south again for the Quakers in England, and off he went to suffer. He was arrested and jailed and put in Cornwall until 1685. He was then pretty over the whole suffering for the cause thing and retired, so to speak, and he died in 1688. The Quakers eventually calmed down. They went from being total shit-disturbers to men and women who unnerved their enemies because they would try to convert

them while they were being tortured. That's a really great time to get people to tell you what they honestly feel. It's like waterboarding. When you waterboard a dude, he's like, okay, we got the bomb. There's a bomb. I got bombs. It's filthy. It's a dirty bomb. It's coming right at you. Oh, air's fun. Quakers eventually became known for their peaceful activities, their pacifism, as they are known today. How many Quakers? There's a few Quakers around. Really? It's definitely a thing. I never see naked people with fires on their head, so I just I mean, they've changed a little bit. They don't do that as much anymore. Once a year. But if you see anybody outside banging pots and pans, that's a Quaker.

Good. Thank you for listening. Thank you. To that, it turned out to be a longer small up, but if you want to donate, if you want to subscribe, give us a little bit dough. You can go to the Patreon. Actual dough. Yeah, you can go to the Patreon and the Patreon, the P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com, and then look up the dollop. There's tons of different levels you can subscribe to. A lot of the orders have gone out. We'll do a second round because now people who have heard it have realized that they missed the first round, so I'm going to wait till a bunch. Fill up again, then we'll do a second order of what you guys want for your rewards. Anything else? Do you love anybody? I'm going to fix some people are complaining that the

itins are not going, there's only a hundred showing, and I figured out that it's on my end. I talked to Steve from my itins, and he's like, nope, that's you guys. That dude is the best. He is awesome. We had a good little hang. Yeah. I think that's it. You got anything else? No, that's it. You want a party? I'm ready to do a lot of coke. Sure. All right, I brought meth. We're going to be giving it to the kitten. I brought meth. We're going to have... Hey, we'll be like Quakers and Puritans. Here we go, girl. Yeah. Whoa. Oh. Oh.