The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 126 - RA Cunningham and Tambo

Episode Date: October 25, 2015

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by Wil Anderson to discuss circus man RA Cunningham and his Aborigine tour SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

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can't believe how well that went. Our guest our guest is Will Anderson. I don't know if you guys know of her to Will Anderson but he's our guest. He's a local kid we saw him the other night think he's got some chops they could be keeps adding to my sticker out. July 27th 1837. And Dites. They love dates it's fucking crazy. Dates and Estee Cubs. Robert Cunningham was born in Canada to Irish parents. Oh boy. There we fucking go. Dying in planes in my gift for accents again. Into the Anderson wheelhouse. He spoke with an Irish accent his whole life. Here we go. He preferred to be called RA. He moved to the United States to served in the California

Infantry. He settled in San Francisco and he fell into theater. He worked as everything stagehand performer musician agent agent this led him to touring with circuses. You better watch those SD cards. And then freak shows which led him to the country of Australia. Already not good. Although I said that freak shows are a way drunk to Australia. In the late 1870s he toured with a group called the Taylor family troupe. He was the musical backing for Maddie Taylor. She was a ten-year-old bird impressionist. She did her bird impressions while playing the banjo. Oh we all know birds. I love that it's not enough that a ten-year-old can

play a fucking banjo or do an impression of a bird. They're like no you need two to have a fucking act. We want both. Get out there Maddie. Australians have demands. They demand more than just a fucking bird whistle. The Australians seem to enjoy. What does that mean? Is it like a bird is it just whistling or is she but while she does it so she's actually just being like... The Robin. That's it. That's the act. Oh man. Now I get the charm. Town and country wrote a more dismal performance than the banjo playing and character sketching given by them has seldom been imported even

from America. So they didn't like it but the Australian people did. They thought it was awesome. They didn't give a shit about the press. You could still put that on a postcard. I love even back then there was trolls. Totally. Your impression of a cookaburra. I didn't laugh and neither did the cookaburra. Readers digest said first. So R.A. Cunningham would make trips back and forth between San Francisco and Australia over the next few years. He'd find a job at the New Torrent Company and off he'd go. Eventually he became an agent who would go out ahead of the tours and set everything up. Sure. And he made

connections. And over the years in the circus world he got to know a gentleman named P.T. Barnum. Oh fuck. Famous circus king. Guys like R.A. and P.T., guys like R.A. saw P.T. as a role model. So it's R.A. and P.T. Yep. So it's just wrapped hanging out. And one time R.A. arrived in Australia and found a letter P.T. had sent. I'm glad you said that because I was going to write. And all I'm doing is kicking myself. We're not going to write. No. I was like oh somebody's gonna write a blog about I don't think the right jokes are appropriate. Even in a historical, economical sense. I'm glad I got that out. Historical, economical. I

laid that shit down like I was Eminem. What the fuck. You're a rapeter. A white rapeter. Big, beautiful rapeter. So I arrived in Australia on one of his visits and found P.T. had sent him a letter. P.T. wanted to bring the American public quote, all the uncivilized races in existence. I mean that is cool. You know what? Just what Americans want. Who possesses extraordinary puke, puke, puke? You better say puke. Pecularities, peculiarities such as giants, dwarfs, singular disfigurements of the person. I'm a regular human. Giants. Can you believe it? You may throw your garbage at me. I have the giant one. My shoes are the regular size of a man. Can you believe it? Try to look away but you've got it. I show you the inside of you you don't want to look at. And the outside. I'm you. I'm just you. Aren't we all giant dwarfs? When we think about it, aren't we all the giant dwarfs really? And that's your regular dwarf? I think the giant dwarf made a lot of sense at the UN.

What country was he there for? I represent no land. Eight people. There is actually a giant dwarf. There was one. There was a guy who started out as a dwarf and then he got the giantism disease. What? It's true. It's true. And if it was American, I'd write about it. It was some fucking European shit. But he was a dwarf and then he turned into a giant. He was like, this is awesome. Oh my god, it's not. It's like the nightmare version of big. Well, it all happened when someone made him angry. That was too popular a reference. You wouldn't want to see me angry. I become a dwarf again. You probably want to see it. So in 1882, PT's agent sent RA a telegram and he said he wanted to get his hands on, quote, a number of the finest specimens of Australian Aborigines. What? I mean, we all knew this is where it was going. Yeah, it was still worth a new when we got there.

PT wanted to put on a show called the Ethnological Congress of Savage Tribes in the next circus. What? You guys, shit was different back then. Ah, no, it wasn't. The next two months later, Tony Abbott's Ethnological Congress of Savage Tribes goes on tour. A giant dwarf in black clothes. No, but he's like, no, I'm a minority too. I can do this. Giant port scandal at UN. UN rocked. Sorry, I'm just trying to distract from the horrible place I know this is going to a terrible, terrible place. Hello, white people, let's have fun. I don't know if that's what we want to be saying. So for RA, this sounded like hitting the lottery. He was now in his 40s and this was the break he was waiting for.

He headed north because at this point, most Aboriginal tribes have been wiped out in the south. Congrats. In Tasmania, pretty much all gone. New South Wales, Victoria, not doing so good. So he goes up north to what I think you guys call Queensland. Queensland? Yeah, I know, I was fucking with you. Jesus Christ, I've heard that enough. I was going to let it slide, but I didn't. It was a joke. I thought you guys were supposed to get this subtle satire and sarcasm shit. I thought that was your forte. That's coffee. Oh, did they like coffee? So there's still a substantial population of Aborigines in Queensland and they are about 200,000 people living there. Most of them now are getting forced to live in cities or, you know, they're getting forced. Yeah, they're being put in places they might not want to live. Like getting office jobs? Yep, a lot of office jobs, some are becoming couriers.

It's just a good time. Many Aborigines were... Did you make that joke on purpose? Because the Aboriginal tribe, they were the kind of most prominent with a curry. Oh, no. Because that is a fucking excellent joke. Well, thank you. Curious? I mean, that is... I planned it. That may be the best joke on the topic ever made. Thank you. And you've made it like some fucking rain man. Well, did I? You'll find I do a lot of rain man stuff when it comes to these topics. You only like water? Never had that stuff. So a lot of Aborigines were being recruited to work on purling fleets.

Sure. So by the time PT Barnum was looking for Aborigines, they'd gotten used to being offered jobs by passing ships. And then they would turn with a bunch of cash and they'd be like, that was fucking awesome. I mean, probably not, but... Ari Cunningham went to Darwin in December 1882. He quickly talked five Aborigines into going with him and they were about to board the ship on a local cop, stopped him and questioned him. Ari explained what was going on and said the five natives understood what they were in for. Sure they did. And then the cop told the Aborigines what he was doing and they ran away.

Typical showbiz story. Happens with most young men when they made Simon Cowell. But every now and again, when they stick one direction. The Aborigines one direction. They would have a funny name, but they don't have it. Those Aborigines. One direction and then back the other direction. We are two direction.

Get ready. They told everyone they knew and suddenly no one would have anything to do with RA in Darwin. So he left Darwin, jumped on a ship, went to Townsville. There he immediately told the authorities what he was up to, so there wouldn't be any trouble with the local cops. Sure, he up front. And the authorities were like, great idea, take a bunch of them. Interesting. Welcome to Townsville.

RA hired a boat and went to find some very isolated Aborigines camps. He quickly convinced some to go with him. On January 22nd, 1883, he got on a ship going to Sydney with nine Aborigines. What did he tell them? He was just like... I don't know. Do you not want to reveal? No, he doesn't go into that.

The hard sell is just like, trust me, it's going to be amazing. It's going to be fucking awesome. You guys, how could this be bad? You guys like money, like pussy, get on this boat. Come on, boys. Yeah. We're going to trade. You're lies.

You're going to love PT. He's great. He's awesome. Come on, guys. Everything else a white guy's promised you is white that awesome. Come on. Yep. Yeah, so far it's been an interesting walk in the park for you guys.

Come on, get on the ship with a bunch of dwarfs. Not next to that normal freak human. I'm a giant dwarf. You are a regular man. Fucking works here. Just keep shouting he's a giant dwarf. Get out of work. So, that's the detail, to get out of work.

That's the genius. One day this guy's like, fuck this shit. I'm also a freak. They don't have to work because they're with the freak show. He's like, no, I'm one too. I'm the giant dwarf. God damn it. He's good.

I'm the bearded man. The bearded man. I'm the mermaid untouched by water. Behold the one with two legs. So, the aborigines were Tony and Jenny, who brought their eight year old boy. Tony and Jenny. These are their names. Tony and Jenny.

There is no way that were their names. With their boy. It's their names. Tambo and Sassy, a couple. Okay, that's worth. Sassy? Yeah, Sassy. Yep, we've found, we've hit something.

Tambo and Sassy are fighting again. It's so only beginning, gentlemen. A young man named Jimmy. There was Bob and Billy. And another guy whose name no one knows. That guy's gonna be fine. No, no, he's not. Why do you say that?

He'll be fine. He'll be buried shortly. No doubt. Anyway, back to Sassy. When he got to Sydney, he discovered the next ship to San Francisco was not leaving for weeks. So he booked himself in a hotel room and put the aborigines in a shack out back. It didn't take long for them to realize this was a fucked up situation. Two of them ran away and then RA posted notices around town asking for anyone who spotted Billy and Jimmy to capture them.

And then they were spotted by a constable and they got into a fight with them and the constable got injured. And then they were in front of a judge. And there, they told their story and the judge was like, I'm sorry, what's happening? And then they found out that there were seven more shacked up behind the hotel. And they went and questioned them and they appeared to not know that they were going to join a circus. So, I mean, that seems weird because earlier on you said he explained to them exactly what was going on in there. I said I didn't know. I mean, at the time I was skeptical because of the language barrier and stuff.

But they didn't fully comprehend the offer that he was making to them, but now it feels like... A fame is a universal language. I mean, how do you get there like, what's a circus? He's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Enough of that circus talk, come on. Leave him back here. They're fine. Sassy enough.

That's enough out of you. Local papers jumped on the story, screaming about the injustice. The evening news accused RA of kidnapping, then a telegraph arrived from Queensland's chief inspector of police who said they all went willingly and knew what the deal was. So the charges against Billy and Jimmy were dropped and they were released back into the custody of RA. I mean... Hey, you don't fuck with P.T. Barnum's fucking shit, even if they're people. Those are the only charges you don't want dropped against you.

You're like, please keep the charges. Please, put me in jail. Put me in jail. So, in Queensland's defense... No? No, I've got nothing, to be honest. Maybe the fact that it's really hot there all the time and if your neck's already red, you're like, fuck it, I've got the look. That's not a bad joke, actually.

I can do that independently of this podcast in my house. You'll be seeing that joke later tonight. Dave, can you edit this chunk out? Danny's got a new hour cooking. So, they all board a ship headed for the United States of America and they arrived in San Francisco on April 18, 1883. Finally, to a place black people had traded better. Thank you. They will live like kings now.

They rode a train across the country. On May 6, they arrived in Baltimore and the next morning, the nine aborigines were leading a P.T. circus parade through the city. Behind them were Zulus, Amazonians, Houghtonauts, Sue, Nubians, Zulus, Georgia, Coons. Keep moving, keep moving. That seems a little racist. I love that we will all like, ooh, that's inappropriate. Let's go and get some cheese that has the same nine. Might be time to change that cheese to nine.

We've seen it. We're in the grocery store. Do you see what they're calling their fucking cheese at? They got N word bread. What's going on? Fuck, are we? They were also Arizona pickin' innies. It's not a thing.

It's not a thing. That's not a thing. There are no pickin' innies, and they're certainly not in Arizona, if there were. Redskins of the Klondike? Not a thing. Japanese Strongman? Contortionists? Crocodiles?

And then Jumbo the Elephant. It feels like you're reading out the lineup for fucking Splendor in the grass. Why would you put crocodiles right in front of an elephant when you have nine groups of men? Why would you know it? Because the people want a show. They want a show, man. It's a show. You think they're scared of mice?

Buckle up. During the parade, Toby, Billy, and Bob and Tambo danced. The others sang and clapped their boomerangs together. As they performed, the Zulus hissed at them. Already tensioned. A newspaper wrote, the Nubians, Indians, and Zulus look with disgust at the crowds that stood open mouth before the new arrivals. So they're jealous, I think.

How is that possible? They're jealous of their Britishies. Cool new kids. Cool names. I'm always proud when Aussies dominate on the world stage. They're intimidated. Look at that fucking Zulus. You're about to be in two directions.

The Zulus are like, we need a hit. Zulu boys. Our Chuck Azulu shit isn't flying anymore. I like it. Maybe an acronym. So. They perform in their... They're being racist against Zulus because no one knows what they are.

Whoa, that guy. Wow, the audience just went, Will Anderson? The farm boy comes out. Fucking Zulus coming to our farm. You have a Twitter feud with Azulu. There's tons involved. So they appeared in their first big top performance. They threw boomerangs and performed dances,

and Ari spoke to the crowd. He called Sussie, Sassy. Well, if it better not be Sussie, I've fallen in love with Sassy. Princess Tagahara, daughter of the cannibal king of Queensland. Oh, they're doing a little promotional, a little add-on stuff.

The first day, 30,000 people came to see them. They were the first average to come to America, and it was a big deal. Local papers wrote extensively about the cannibals. So wait, the whole... Sorry, the angle... Yep, the angle. The angle is cannibal.

Yep, they eat people. That's the canon angle. That's thick. That's it. Yeah, but it's just sharpies. Yeah, it's not real. It's like Ozzy Osbourne was eating all the fucking, like, bobs. The bats.

That means the bats above. The bats above? The bugs. I love bugs, man. But, but, but... But so that's the angle. They're like, they eat people. Yeah, they eat people.

Well, that's exciting. Is he a cannibal? Come on. Have you guys ever seen a cannibal? No, I don't think... Well... Maybe we have. I don't know.

They're in America now. In this story, they're in America. Come on, get on board. The show is a huge hit. It could not be. I know how. It was his most successful show yet. RA explained in the interview why they were so well behaved.

They realize, they realize fully that their good behavior will be duly appreciated and property rewarded by me. And as they know, I am the only one who can restore them in safety to the native wilds. So they act accordingly. Thank you. I was in East Irish. I forgot about that. The circus tour ended in October, and RA took the monitor of dime museums.

Like the one these fucking doines. Like the one... There's over five doines in here. There should be more eventually. Don't eat each other. Sassy. Watching you, girl. That's a fucking nickel.

So. Like oof, oof. Two nickels in the dime this year. There's a lot of shit that ain't doines in here. I mean, there's so much space. It's a table, fucking. Oofy Goofy was in a dime museum. That's kind of a place to talk to.

So you know you're dealing with normal shit. So they were touring small theaters and cities and towns all over America. It was pretty much the bottom of the bottom. A dime museum in Baltimore's most popular attraction, a dime museum in Baltimore's most popular attraction, was Abraham Lincoln's last bowel movement. No fucking way. Like, I... That's an attraction, but that's your most popular attraction?

Yeah. What? Hey, kids. You know what we're doing today? We're gonna go see the last shit that Lincoln took. Is that where the term Lincoln log comes from? You want me to build a house out of this? Don't touch that.

It breaks. It was said to be... Hold on. That is fucking... Why? Okay, well, it was said to have been taken from a chamber pot at Ford's Theater. The shit was mounted in a frame... That could just be a random new shit.

Why did they trace that back? What do you mean? Look, it was mounted in a frame and had a certificate stating that it was real. It was not. Who wrote the certificate? The guy in the bathroom. What? Who in the pot?

He bought a real thing. Yes, that was the last shit of Lincoln. Was it a guy who was a big Lincoln fan who was like, I'm gonna take this shit, and then suddenly he fucking died, and he's like, I'll hit the jackpot. Is that what happened? Or a guy who Lincoln just went to take a piss and he was like, I've got an idea. Here it is. He told me it was his.

That'll be $500,000. You're gonna want to frame that real nice, guys. Tighten that up, too. Later, the shit was tested and was found to be a fake shit. I called fake shit. I did call fake shit. I knew it. I smelled something weird.

It was actually from the 1920s, just a common dude's shit. Just a guy who's shit and went, I'm gonna fucking make that a famous shit. Look how great that one is. This should be in a frame. It was John Wilkes poop. All the aborigines learned... Thank you, sir. All the aborigines learned to speak English while in America, and because they mostly learned it from R.A.,

they all spoke with Irish accents. I know this story's fucked up, but adorable. It's the greatest thing ever. I mean, so far so good, actually. I thought this was gonna go heaps worse than this. Oh, it's gonna. I mean, we've already framed shit. They were reliant on R.A. for food, shelter, and medical care.

They were said to love a variety of foods, especially tropical fruits, fish, and oysters. That's not a variety. R.A. also said that, quote, they are extremely fond of making small purchases of gaudy handkerchiefs and trinkets. Sussie and Jenny bought copper necklaces and jewelry in Chicago. Sussie was seen performing in pink knickerbockers. So shit's fucking... It's awesome.

She's got knickerbockers. They're pink. She's fucking having a good time. They're, like, turning into Irish gypsies. Then things started to go south. Ahh! Ahh! I thought this was gonna be the first nice one. No.

Oh, no. This is the one I was worried about doing in public. I mean, after what I've heard already... Right, we're not just disturbing. I didn't think that anything would get a giant dwarf out of my mind, but now there's a frame shit. So... Tambo and Little Toby became sick when they arrived at their next dye museum gig. The Aborigines were angered with R.A.

accusing of bringing them to a strange country to die. The tall one, with no name, fell ill. Swiss fueler? He'll be fine. He'll be fine. See you, tall guy. He's gonna be fine. He dies now. At their next stop in Pittsburgh, a reporter came upon R.A.

spooning medicine into Tambo's mouth. R.A. told the reporter, It's all I can do to keep them alive. Don't write that. Read the paper. On February 23, 1884, Tambo died in his hotel room in Cleveland. Oh...

You thought this was gonna go another way? I didn't know Tambo was gonna die so early. Ceci was his lady, and she was not happy. She stopped eating. The rest of the nine refused to take part in any sort of show. R.A. was fucking pissed. After all he'd done for them. The fucking lack of bloody respect.

Jesus Christ, I took you from your homeland and showed you the world like caged beasts. How could you not... I'm on the site we saw. A frame-ball movement. That's it. You guys gotta turn against me. Go ahead.

Give it a shot. R.A. told the reporter... That's the tall one. R.A. told the reporter, I'm having trouble with the creatures and wishes they were off my hand. He's a fucking monster, you guys. Tambo was the worst little lot.

So he's happy to be done with Tambo. Oh, cool. So he's happy Tambo died. Tambo, Tambo. It's like when Zayn left. People like, make him recover. The next guy with no name died. Yeah, Tall Guy died.

Tall Guy died. You guys can't care about him. He didn't have a name. That's what we kind of thought most of them. That's what God is in. Tall Guy? If you guys are getting sad now, it's gonna get weird.

Just so y'all know, we didn't do this, we're just telling a story about him. We weren't involved. R.A. quickly got the group out of town before the press became hip to the dying situation. Move along, move along! He also wanted to make up for the cash he had lost

because of the surviving Aborigines work strike. So he sold Tambo's body to Drew's Dime Museum. Jesus Christ. What a piece of shit. He's such a piece of shit he should be in a frame. That's fucked. Selling his body. When do we get to see Tambo?

Fucking Irish Aborigines. Where's Tambo's body? We want to say goodbye. We fucking miss Tambo? So R.A. then took the show to Europe where people had been in love with free shows for a long, long time. They started off in London where the London Standard wrote,

although they are described as the lowest type of humanity, they seem very intelligent. You guys know this happened, right? You guys all seem really shocked that white people were horrible. At first I've heard of it. So in Europe they'd stay somewhere for a while. They spent a month in Brussels.

During their entire stay, two anthropologists came and examined the Aborigines. They revealed that several of them had tuberculosis. Only, it's fine, it's totally curable. That's an easy fix. Only Billy and Jimmy had normal breathing and given that Tambo had died of a chest infection, it didn't seem good.

The Aborigines started to pick up French rather quickly. What? Because they were exposed to it constantly. The accents are going to be off the charts. Super geniuses. Yeah, I mean, good guy. At one point a French woman... French-Irish Aborigines.

She's like, I told you, I don't know. At one point a French woman questioned Jimmy why he wore a nose bone and Jimmy shot back, why do you have holes in your ears? That's a good point. Have a good stay. In each city they went to to drum up excitement about the show that we put on a boomerang

throwing display in a park. This stopped in Berlin when Jimmy hit a man in the head with a boomerang. That doesn't sound like an Australian's episode. You know what the boomerang hasn't come in with your husband? Neither's coming back. It really hit him hard. What are you talking to her about?

Not now, Sassy. Next the show went to Berlin where they would be for three months. It was now apparent that the Aborigines were not really enjoying the limelight. Why? I don't know. It's weird, right? It's a fucking sweet tour.

Yeah, dude. You guys have been to fucking Adelaide and Perth. They've been to fucking Paris and Berlin. I feel like that could be a dollop. So in Berlin, RA sent an invitation to reporters to come and watch the Aborigines as they ate dinner. Oh, what? When they arrived, they found that the Aborigines

were already seated around a table covered with a white tablecloth and they were being served by a servant. Just a regular day at the house. This is how we do it with our man, boy. I thought you guys were coming at seven. Oh, you're early. Yeah, we're just having our five-course dinner that they get every night. A lot of them will wheeze.

First time I've eaten meat in a month. So fuck you. The Aborigines were pissed. For some weird reason, they're upset that people invited to watch them eat. Each time a new reporter walked in, the Aborigines became more angry. Oh, Jesus. They finally put down their utensils and refused to eat. Oh, so aren't they meant to be cannibals?

Oh, shit. Why shouldn't that be the only reason you want to watch them eat? Are they going to fucking eat some people? Yeah, yeah. He's just, like, cut up a bunch of meat and they're like, this is their friend Tambo. Right over there, they're finishing off Tall Guy. Hey, that one's eating oysters. Yeah, those are testicles we shell.

Get them the fuck out of here. Bad enough. Who gave them oysters? RA eventually had to bribe them to keep eating by giving them tobacco. What? Are there reporters watching this? I thought Tall stood around and wrote about it. It's a fucking great story.

I mean, this is just great news back then. We watched them eat. Next, they were invited by a professor to come to the Royal Museum of Berlin. This was a treat. They were seeing many things they had never seen before and they were greatly enjoying the tour, especially when they came across Aboriginal artifacts. Oh, somebody's going to wake the baby. But things went a bit south when they saw the display of a mummified aborigine.

The mummy had its knees drawn to its chin wrapped in bark, which was a normal way some aborigines were buried in Australia. So what about that that they not respond to? I know him. But here's also what you've got to know in a cultural context. Indigenous people, as part of their culture, don't like to see images of people who have passed away. So if you're making a program that features... There was a famous Indigenous singer from a band called Yothu Yindu who was Australian at the year

and he passed away, so it was a big news story. And they warned at the start of everything that might disturb people because they don't like to see images. And essentially, you've just done that in real life. So is that why they ate people? Dave. Dave. David. Dave. Dave, don't try to connect those dots. Imagine being the tour guide, though.

What are you guys so mad about? I think you've got to respond to this one right here. It's you guys. Do you want some people to leave? What's going on? Right. She's very hungry. I think I read about it, so they think that if they see a body like that,

that bad spirit can come in them and harm them. So probably not a good tour. No. Then Bob died, which after right after the fucking tour, everyone's like, yeah, I fucking told you. You know the museum guy was like, what are you going to do with Bob? Now we've got two we can be creative. Look, we can do a whole domesticated thing.

Oh my God, wait a minute. Making a dinner of people. Wait a minute, salt and pepper shakers. I'm loving it. We'll do a whole thing. Them having people over for dinner. What? I shouldn't have pinched it that hard, but let's just get that body of Bob.

But I'm seeing a whole. I'm retiring. RA kept the show going in Europe. Now they were doing small shows in restaurants and pubs. Who the fuck? What? Who would eat around that shit? I mean, that's terrible.

They're sitting there eating a fucking sausage and some guys throwing a boomerang behind the bar. Yeah. They're like, where are you supposed to be up in there? I'm forever having a little shit. Now this is fucking dinner theater. Where'd that guy from? He's from France and Ireland.

No, I tell you so much. It's unbelievable. Oh my God, where's your accent from? Are you Irish? Top of the shore. Oh, you're French fries. My favorite food. Well, I eat.

I don't know what's happening now. It's gone crazy. In Frankfurt, Jimmy dies. Guys, I'm already... No, I think it's like it's great how everyone's got attached. Jimmy was our favorite. So now there are five... Oh, Lord.

Pouring out the beer. I hope you're up in the sky with no name. Doing whatever you did, tall guy. So now it's just Billy, Toby, Jenny, young Toby and Sassy. He keeps the show moving. The next stop, Sunborn. Only four of them perform because Sassy is too ill. So she passes away on June 24th, 1984.

Did you guys think she was going to pull through? No. When someone's too sick to perform, they're dying in this story. She was buried in a Protestant graveyard without a coffin, just as her family and Australian would have wanted. She put her in a hole. Oh, no way. That was sarcasm.

Since there was no public graveyard, the Protestant graveyard was forced to take her. So even better. Ah, fuck, really? The dwindling number of Aborigines did not stop the large crowds from showing up to see them. Next, they're out of Paris, to be honest. And I don't mean this in a mean, spirited way.

But the less they are, the more demand there is. They're rare. Yeah, they get rarer every time. Every town, they get more rare. It's a little bit like The Beatles. Yep. You see Ringo now, you're like, that's fucking awesome. It's always been cool.

That's fucking awesome. Yeah, but that is true, right? Because otherwise, if all four were still here, you would not give a fuck about Ringo. His posh Ringo? You know, he's doing a train voice now. But, you know, he's still here, so we love him. Ringo taking a little shrapnel on the dollop tonight.

That's right, star. We're coming at you. Finally. Finally. Colin, you opt. Now I'm ready. So, they went to Paris, where Toby... Done.

Yep. Done. Now all that remained was Billy, Jenny and little Toby, who they were all very oddly despondent. Hang on. So, I must have missed this earlier. Was there a Toby and a little Toby? Yep.

Yeah, but the big one... No, no, there's a Jenny. No, there wasn't a big Toby. I don't think there might have been. Yeah, there was a Toby and a little Toby. Oh. Yeah. He just died of tuberculosis.

Tuberculosis. A French anthropologist came to examine them. He said Jenny was very depressed, and Billy turned away whenever he was offered money. A classic sign of someone not doing well. Yeah. That's a great doctor. Yeah, he's like, well, he failed that test.

RA stopped using their names in show pamphlets, because he didn't want people to know how many had died. Though the press was now assumed that Billy and Jenny would just hook up, even though they hated each other. You mean they had a whole, like, will they, won't they, sort of, Ross, Rachel? Yeah, it's like a Ross, Rachel and friends. Yeah.

What's going to happen with Billy and Jenny? Come on. Attention. But Billy was a ladies man. I always thought that Billy was a woman in this story. I have not been following as closely as I thought I was. I was like, now there's two women left. This is very perversive.

And we're going to raise little Toby. The first gay aborigines. Gab originals. But Billy was always looking for a wife. Whenever he saw a young girl he liked, he would say, you and me, me and you. Are you just now reading Bon Jovi lyrics? Bon Jovi.

Oh, my God. Reporters wrote about how they should, a speculation that Billy and Jenny had killed Toby. And that's why she was single and that they ate him to hide the evidence. What? They got nothing. No, come on.

He's delicious. It's a Toby Lorone. One reporter commended them for washing. I hope you're booing me and not the indigenous people in this story. Every boo we hear is a boo against them. Another reporter commended them for washing daily with soap. Way to go.

Amazing what you do. Yeah. He said they were better than the Sioux Indians who were really pigs. Okay, I feel like I could talk openly with you guys about other freak tribes. Sioux, more like Sioux-er. Anyway, you guys are phenomenal.

You guys are so big and eating and breathing. It's time to watch. Your wheezes are just so cute. Stick little hamsters. Things somehow turned around. The three continued to tour Europe. And a reporter spoke to Billy and he said that they all wanted to continue touring.

Billy even came up with a new routine. The Glasgow Union. Now I feel like they're one of those bands where all the original people have left. There's a guy from Little River Band who played the bass. But he's like, where's Little River Band? No, you're not. I still want to be on the road.

I've got no other option. These guys are the Wiggles. There's like one left. Like, I've got a mortgage. I speculate it on the stock market more than the others. Even Dorothy is there. Fucking wake up, Joe. The Glasgow Evening is reported that Billy discharged

half a dozen boomerangs fast, one after the other, so that they all circled in the air like so many birds. That sounds fucking awesome. Sounds so fucking cool, doesn't it? They should have a Marvel movie about him. Boomerang Billy. We'll work on the name. It's coming back soon.

In Glasgow, they were examined by a doctor. Billy was immune to tuberculosis while Jenny was symptom free and the young boy was becoming sick. It had been three years since they had left their home. They went to Moscow next and were greeted with the headline, The Man Eaters Have Come. That was no papers. But this is still a good fucking tour.

Do they know they're in fucking Moscow? No, they've seen shit. They are like Pussy Riot a little bit. Who is their fucking agent? I need to get on the train. R.A. Yeah, it was actually R.A. Don't sign with him though, I did. Nightmare.

It was nightmare. The article said that the reason they had not eaten R.A. was because he was too thin. So the Russian press accurate as always. Well, they asked the questions, you know. Oh, hey, is that cannibals? Why, this is my accent. This is my accent.

I'm going with it. Go. Is that cannibals? Wow. Yeah, finish it quiet. If they're cannibals. Is that cannibals? If they're what?

Sorry, he said cannibals. If they're cannibals. Now this is like a not bright guy. Right? No, I have no confidence with my public speaking. You know, you've got an accent like Big Toby used to have. Ah, big fan. Now I pour up.

Eventually. Have you met my wife? Sorry, did you have a question, sir? It's nice to meet your wife. My wife? I don't know. Are you annoyed here? I don't know.

Sorry, where are you from? Too skinny. Too skinny. Don't tell anyone to try for you. That should be animated like a werewolf turning like from human to werewolf. A reporter turning into Borat. What's happening? It happens again.

So they left Moscow and they went back through the south of Europe, through Italy, and then they left in London in 1887, and there R.A. decided to end the tour. They went to New York. They are said to not have wanted to return to Australia, but R.A. made them. Records show that R.A. Cunningham boarded a ship to Sydney on March 10th, 1888. And there's a record of him taking steamer from Brisbane to Townsville on April 14th. But there's no paper trail for Billy, Jenny, or Toby, little Toby. A few months later, R.A. gave an interview to a paper in Melbourne and said he had returned them to their homeland.

And that's where the tale of those aborigines ends. Nine became three and they were returned. Next. Oh, boy. What's up? All right, signed another contract with P.T. Barnum. This time for Samoans. Oh, fuck.

What? What? They're bigger. That's the problem with sequels. They always fucking miss the point. It's always more explosions. It's got to be bigger. It's got to be bigger, right? We need more transformers.

Thor's got a brother. This Samoans negotiated a three-year contract for nine Samoans. He would cover their expenses and pay them $12.50 a month. At the end of three years, he would return them all to Samoa. Yeah, all of them. Sure. Every living one of them. Oh, one living of them.

They were a hit in America. Oh, yeah. Of course they were. By the time they made it to New York, they were eight. Trump's running for president. What? Huh? We're down to eight.

Wait, wait. What? Sorry, sorry, sorry. You guys were talking when you hit eight. What happened? Well, they went to New York. When they got there, they were eight. A minute ago, were there Samoa?

Yeah, they were eight. What's a Samoan that joke? Another died when they reached Belgium in 1890, a third day later in Cologne. In Berlin, a wealthy woman talked two of the Samoans to leaving the group and hanging out with her. I mean, I guarantee that pitch was just that simple. She was like, do you just want to hang out? They're like, yes, for sure.

Yes, absolutely. Anything. Oh, you betcha. Yeah, yes. Do you want it? We have a ton of it if you don't need it, but we're overloaded. She was seen driving around town with them in her carriage. But after a while, she got bored of them and bought them tickets home on a ship.

R.A. sued her for $100,000 for the, quote, loss of his savages. Well, I think that's it. That's a fine name for a case. Yeah, man be savage. Nothing came of the case. By the time R.A. returned to New York, he had five Samoans. On the trip home, he borrowed $41 from each Samoan and... Sorry, they're always loading him?

Hang on. He's passing the hat around to the fucking Samoans? Yeah. How are they, what? It was all their money. He never paid it back. I just need a, I need a, just for me. I need a little something.

I'm gonna need a little something. A little. At that point, he gave them to another circus agent. R.A. said, quote, I've got all out of them that I could. Now you take them and see what you can do. Also not a great pitch. Yeah. If you're offloading some Samoans.

Well, dare to fucking worse than what he's doing. So, how much? Best offer. A new agent took them out and one quickly died. He then abandoned the Samoans on a New York street. What the fuck? Wait, hold on. How did that happen?

No, but hold on. That's what, that's what you do with Samoans. In America, you just throw them on the street. When you say abandoned, do you mean like he was like, hey guys, this is a thing, like, but you gotta have to find your own way? Or is he like... He's like, I'm gonna get a bagel. He probably was like, yeah, I'm gonna go get a, I'm gonna go get a juice.

All right. Hey guys, is that the, is that the naked cowboy? He runs away. What is naked cowboy? Hello? Hey, where the fuck? Hey, what the fuck? Hey, what the fuck?

Hey, wait a minute. But a journalist found them who recognized them and they were put on... It's pretty easy to recognize them. Yes. Are you the Samoans? Yeah, right? He put, they were put on a train to head out west where they would get on a ship and be returned to Samoa. One died on the train trip.

The other three made it home. You guys are like shocked every time. Well, Dave, to be fair, at some point we're thinking somebody's not gonna die. So they went back to Samoa, nine left, three returned. R.A. Cunningham returned to Australia in 1882. Good, finally. He was back to recruit a second group of aborigines. How is that even possible?

He arrived in Townsville in June 1892, but knowing who he was, Queensland authorities tried to make things difficult for him. You're too bad for Queensland in 1892. The government said the aborigines must understand what they're signing up for with R.A. and he had to put down what was basically a security deposit for humans. It's amazing that it's not a moral thing. They're like, no, the money. No, we're gonna need a deposit.

Look, we're not gonna take the money off your credit card, but you would need to put in your payment. We're gonna have a $100 hold. We'll release it once they're back. When they come back, you can have your money back. It's fine. You're not gonna do anything with them, right? You're not gonna break them. So it took him a month this time,

but he did set sail again with eight aborigines. Unfortunately for R.A., the boat was full of religious types and they were very upset with what he was doing. And below deck, the aborigines were told by fellow passengers that they would not survive in the U.S. They look fucking good. So they're not happy right now. Why?

But in San Francisco, they sold out of theater. All right, so they're fucking selling out shows. I don't know why you guys are all bummed out right now. I gotta be honest, it does remind me of the difference. Here's the thing, most of the audience are really like, this is a horrible story, but I keep getting distracted by the fact that they're doing a good tour in their selling out. It is, honestly.

I know. It is hard. They're doing good, you know. That's hard. Selling tickets. Signing merch. Who should I make this phone out to? I mean, we all compromise is my point, you know what I mean?

We all make compromises. And picture them like if they're backstage being like, these gummy bears, what are you talking about? This is not what we ordered. I mean, you know, the Beatles did all those hard yards in fucking Berlin, playing like 10 hours a day and stuff. But that's getting their money and their time in, right? And maybe they're like, oh, well, maybe this will lead

to something bigger, you know? If we just picture that they're playing new stuff, it's a fun turn. I know you love the didgeridoo stuff, but he's selling off my new album. That sounds like the didgeridoo stuff. These abridges were different than the last group, though. They insisted they perform in their street clothes,

not their supposed native garb, and they seemed to be enjoying themselves. Cunningham wrote a friend, they had not made much money out of the venture yet on account of the rainy weather. The blacks are well and happy, as they ought to be, seeing that they stop at fine hotels and do the block just like dudes.

There is jolly as clams in high water, and you would smile to see them cruising around the city in the height of fashion with polished, patted leather boots on and big cigars stuck in their mouths. Well, uh... Right. Okay, so... They're dressed nice.

They're just dressed nice, and they're... They're cigars. Okay. They're cruising around. They're aristocratic. Well, back then, dudes were like guys who dressed fancy, like a Greg Barron. The shows were being negatively affected by the aborigine seemingly somewhat cosmopolitan look.

They are becoming divas. R.A. said they were too civilized. Oh, it's affecting the act. Yeah, totally. He then brought on a business manager, Frank Frost. I bet this guy will be the worst. Uh, the tour hit Sam Bern, you know, where one of them passed away.

Our... Guys, guys, they're just gonna keep dying. I mean, I don't know anything, but they're... Let's not get overly invested in these guys right now. We can't go through that emotionally. It's like watching a Civil War movie, and you guys going, oh, my God, another one died. This is not going well.

I like that they connected to the story. I feel like it's run, right? No, there's a lot of... I don't get it. It's good. That can go on that journey. They told you. I've just been through this journey a lot, and it'll shred you. I'd say it because I care.

Hey, you're like the person who buys your kid a kit and goes, this will die in your lifetime. Sorry, I probably should have brought that up a little more organically. Yeah, there's no Santa. You most likely won't outlive this. You have a question? So, again, they are invited to join P.T. Barton's circus. But they weren't the same draw that Tubbo and his group had been.

Three more. And they weren't the aboriginals. Like Badfinger. Three more died on the tour. Jesus. That should be called the die tour. But RA continued on. They spent a long time in New York City where they experienced true cold for the first time.

Finding a place for them to perform with enough room for the boomerangs became a problem. Because it's so cold out. They went to the Bride Park Hotel to perform. One of the woman was missing, clearly ill, said reporters. The reporters arrived and recognized RA from his days with the Samoans. One said in front of the crowd, this is the same man who brought the Samoans to this country in 1889 and deserted them. They asked if the aboriginals were being paid. RA responded that they don't know what to do with money.

So he's clearly concerned about his reputation a little bit. So now Doddy's on her deathbed and the aborigines do not want to go to Europe, especially after what they've heard from reporters. So RA leaves them with Frank Frost and just takes off. Then Frost signs them up for another tour with Barnum and Bailey Circus. In August, Tom came down to the Mongia in Minnesota and he passed away. Now, there are four aborigines left. A woman named Jenny and three men named William.

There's three bills in a windy? Fine, everything's fine there. Bill, I remember Jenny, she's from Northern Australia, Jenny from the Rock. So the circus tour ended and they had to find a way to survive. They lived in New York City boarding houses and picked up occasional work at dime museums. Then Frost began a side show of the group at Coney Island, New York. Yeah, that's the correct response. The aborigines gave lackluster performances partly because they were forced to do their show indoors in a tent.

And there was not much of an audience and they're dying. Right, also a bunch of them are dying. Also they're all dying. And the appeal of seeing aborigines drop to a new low. Then a man from Hawaii named Palini Pakaki came across the situation, decided to start a campaign to save them. First he contacted the British ambassador and explained what was happening, saying the aborigines were rewards of the government of the colony of Australia. And the ambassador sent someone to investigate and he questioned them.

They did say they wanted to go home. Pakaki contacted the press, the New York Journal wrote a story with the headline, Health in Slavery on Coney Island. So the heat is on, but the British government did not want to pay for their passage. Well, they don't have a lot of money. Cool as always, the British. Yeah, I'll be alright. No. Hmm.

No. No. Yeah, no. Thank you. What I love the most about that is the fact that when you tell your terrible stories on the dollop about America, when you tell them terrible stories about Australia here, the only thing that gets me through these terrible stories is the thought, they weren't really us or Americans, they were British people.

Right? Yep. Yep. Yeah. Um, so, the US authorities did not want to take legal action because they thought Frost would just dump them in the street. So then Frost just took them to Europe.

Well, three of them. William was now in his deathbed. Is there any other bed? Not that William, the other one. Yeah, not the William we were attached to. The other one. And the third one, still okay. Now, since they were adamant that they wanted to go home and not to Europe, we can pretty much conclude that Frost told them they were probably going home

and then took them to Europe. So they found themselves in Germany. There, Frost worked with a German showman, Herr Maas. What? His name was Herr Maas? Fuck, the Aluminati's in everything.

But now they weren't doing shows. They were just in a small tent where people would come in and look at their tattoos and leave. I have fun in this shit here. Yeah, this is sad. Now, in Copenhagen, R.A. suddenly shows up saying that the aborigines are his and that he put down a deposit on them. I mean, that's true though. It's true. It's true.

You guys are saying, oh, factually true. Your government had to put down a deposit. As tough as it is to say, R.A. is right. We're not saying it's morally right, but in the court of Judge Judy, he would. Get out! Get out! And then they'd tell you something. And this is where it gets a little weird, but.

Sorry, this is where it gets a little weird? You guys, he didn't get the deposit back and you guys turned that into billions of dollars with investment. It's what is keeping your country afloat. Now we don't know how to feel. R.A. said Frost had stolen them away and he tried to take Frost to court. But again, not resolved. He keeps trying the court thing. And then they just took off in Europe again on tour.

R.A. was next heard of in Canada living in his mother's house. He wrote a friend saying that he wanted to get his hand. He wanted to get his hands on some Eskimos. Dude. Imagine being his mom. You're like, so why not? Are you thinking? Sorry.

Are you thinking of doing anything else, maybe? Well, what's your... Well, it's just you've done the people thing. Yeah. Actually, there's a new... A lot of people are loving this new sort of a... You know, people are doing taxes. You heard of these tax things.

Maybe they might not be around yet, but still. Anything but what you're doing. So maybe try something else. Your mom. You know... Your mom. No, no, no. Well, let me...

Have you heard of Eskimos? Dude. Yes. Let's get some. We'll put them in a wagon and we'll just take them around and charge people money to look at them. And we'll put fish in their mouths. I feel like you're foreshadowing a little strongly.

One of the Williams died. Some are out on tour in Europe. That was his Jenny. And the last William. I feel it every time. That's a William. I feel one of these William's dead. It's harder.

So it's just Jenny and one last William. Somehow they made the way to London. They were now alone. Frost had completely abandoned them. They were destitute. The police and charitable organizations would not help. Yeah. Well, why would a charity help them?

Come on. That's the charitable. And after some time, the government finally paid their fare back. They were met by Townsville police where they landed. Why? To give them back their deposit. Thank you. Because here in Australia, they discovered a new set of laws have been enacted.

From now on, they would be controlled by the Aboriginal's Protection and Prevention of the Sale of Opium Act of 1897. You know, that act has a funny twist in it. You know, my favorite thing about that was, like, even back then, we were stopping the boats and they had Aboriginal people on them. Yeah, so they went to live on a reserve, just like they always wanted. Yeah. Uh-huh. Just like... R.A. Cunningham wrote to a friend in San Francisco.

He had gone to get some excamos, but it had not worked out. He wasn't able to get his excamos. He now wanted... He was into it, but the only guy was in New York. You know, I've got a million. No, that's all of them. They're just not that... They're just not Inuit to you. That Inuit, anyway.

Uh, he now wanted three... He wanted $3,000 from his friend to go get some Hawaiians. This is getting... Quote, say six girls and two men, they're hula-dances startling a novel. It didn't happen. June 18th, 1902, R.A. showed up at Hogan's undertaking in Cleveland. He had come to see his old friend Tambo. Hogan... Hogan took him to the Western Reserve Medical College, where the mummified body was kept.

They did keep Tambo. I call keeping Tambo, dude. This is tall guy all over again. Alright, looked at the body for a few moments and then said, poor old Tambo. He then told Hogan, I am too old to go after freaks now. I went after Eskimos two years ago and froze my legs from the knees down. Poor guy. I am not well now and won't be for some time, but I'll never forget Tambo.

And his cannibal friends. They weren't even fucking cannibals. They'd steal knives from the table and fight amongst themselves over strangers. Once in a while, they'd go after me. They're like cattle. They followed one around, ate what was given them, and never showed delight except when they had fish or candy. Candy! By the way, they weren't having knife fights, they were playing That's Not a Knife. Wait, they would only fight fish or candy, did you say?

Yeah. A Swedish fish to them would have been like... Nothing was ever heard from Ari Cunningham again. Recently, a Rosalind poignant found a photo from a 1905 of an aborigine man playing with a puppy. He has a big smile on his face. It was taken on Pawnee Bill's Wild West show tour in the US. The man is clearly William. William did not make the trip from New York to Europe with the rest of the Williams.

So he was out there on a Wild West show seemingly happy compared to his friends. Those Wild West shows were not... That would actually be an okay life. They all were performers and there were... No one there would... Sure, that beats your culture. It's better than going around and fucking sitting in a tent in Germany. Watch everyone die on trains.

Look. He's created a low bar. You're not a man until all your friends have died on a train. You've always said that. In 1993, J.C. Smith's funeral home... Yeah, 1993. Hard of grunge. Let's do it.

1993. This is when they get into grunge. Seattle. J.C. Smith's funeral home in Cleveland, Ohio, closed. The staff was clearing out the building when they found the mummified body of Tambo. Oh my God. Oh my God. Is this weekend at Tambo's?

More human, please. Love another body of human. The staff was clearing out the building when they found the mummified body. Tambo was finally brought home to Australia in 1994, about 110 years after he left for the USA. He was buried in a traditional ceremony led by Walter Palm Island, a descendant of Tambo on Palm Island. His family... He went back to his family and they buried him. The way he should be buried.

1993. Oh, that's... This fucking original boy from Oz. We gotta wrap out, right? Yeah, we gotta wrap out, but how do you guys feel? You've been fucking seriously dolloped. Is that what you're doing now at the end? You've been dolloped.

Y'all just got dolloped, y'all. Get a fee weird tonight. That was supposed to be a better show. I apologize, but... Are you doing stand-up? What's happening right now? No, we want to thank everybody for coming out. We'll be out there signing stuff and taking pictures, whatever anyone likes, whatever you like. Downstairs.

Downstairs. Thank you so much, guys. We appreciate it. Thank you. Poster sales downstairs. That's what we'll be.