The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 128 - The Past Times with Andrea More

Episode Date: June 6, 2025

Dave Anthony reads a paper to co-host Gareth Reynolds and comedian Andrea More SOURCES TOUR DATES OFFICIAL MERCH

The Dallup will be on tour in March 2026. We are going to be in Buffalo on March 22nd. Then on the 23rd will be in Syracuse. Then on March 24th, we'll be in Boston at the Wilbur. Then on the 25th will be in Bridgeport. In 26th, the Gramercy Theater in New York. And then on the 27th, we'll be in Albany. And then on the 28th, we'll be in Pittsburgh.

And then on the 29th, will be in Philadelphia. And then on the 30th, we'll be in Washington, D.C., at the Lincoln Theater. Why would you name a theater after Lincoln? Anyway, that's our March 2026 tour. Go to dolloppodcast.com slash tour for tickets. All right, everybody. Welcome to the pastimes podcast.

Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date and history picked up by David Anthony. I'm Garrett Reynolds. And I've never seen it before. And neither is our guest this week. It seems like you threw your microphone before we started. Was that rage? Rage based her.

She then knocked it over. She's like, fuck this shit. I was just really excited. Okay. And angry at the same time. Believe me, that's Dave Anthony's gear. What the fuck just happened? Andrea, you will be opening for Sean Keene in San Francisco?

Yes, on May 14th at the Punchline Comedy Club. Okay, great club. Great club. I like it It's my, it was my home club starting out Dave. They've legally asked you to stop saying that Dave, so at some point I mean I live there, I had a cot

and I live there. Okay, that's fine. Yeah. Well, that's exciting. Should we just jump into it? I mean, Andrew, do you, this is no shame if you've never listened to the show, but we're going to guess what

year this paper is from. Now, Dave has picked it, and I would say, It's probably going to be 1800s, 1900s. It could be 1700s, probably not. You get to guess what year you think it's from with no information. I'll also guess, and you'll win. No, we don't know that? Yes, we do.

Everything's rigged these days. This thing is rigged. Yeah. I'm going to guess 1907, and I feel really good about that guess. I think you should. You should. I'm going to guess 1899. Oh, Andrew wins.

It's 1888, but it's the 1907, 1888. It's wrong. See, that's... Does that make sense? No, it doesn't. That's why Andrea looks confused and I look mad. No, this is the face I make when I'm really connecting. Oh, that's you locked in.

That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, there you go. Congratulations on being further away from it and still winning somehow. Thank you. Well, it's, there's a hiccup in that, you know, the year you picked was whatever, blah, blah, blah.

And there's a skip in the timeline. Anyway, it's the evening capital of Annapolis, Maryland, August 8th, 1888. It's a big, great year. Great. Did you say August 8th? Yeah. So this is 888. So Reagan had just been reelected.

So this is Reagan. That's right. Yep. This is the Reagan years. Yeah. We were all getting rich. Oh. Blue jeans were popping.

Credit cards were new. McDonald's was in Russia. Democracy had been exported. Pizza Hut was in Russia. Was McDonald's? I know Pizza Hut was. He's called Hut of Pizza. What are you doing? Some comedy.

Andrew, I can treat Gareth's hostile, right? No. I'm going to wait until we've been podcasting for like 15 minutes to become antagonist. So why don't you, when you're ready, just let us know the verdict. Okay, great.

Thank you. Copy that. Thank you. Apparel for hot weather. This is page one. Apparel? For hot weather. For hot weather.

Okay. When it comes to... When it comes to the apparel question, we find a problem difficult of solution. I mean, this is when you just want to slap someone for writing a sentence like that. Yeah, I agree. Like, he's like trying to make extra words for no reason. Yes. But maybe this is like, you know, in the aughts when they were being paid like a dollar per word.

Could be. It could be. Totally could be. Yeah. Is this Condy Nast? Is that the publication? Yes, this is Connie Nass. That's right.

How did you do that? Yeah. Yeah. Just a lot of you guess. What to wear for the greatest comfort? This is shocking to have this be like, Pants, not great for the summer. That feeling you have is universal.

I mean, you know where this is going right away. I hear my fat and hasty friend say, why the thinnest white cotton garment you can possibly buy. This is fat, his fat friend. That is one being fat was a compliment, like basically saying, True. Upper middle class.

Yeah. Yeah. He's got gravy thighs. I actually, where I thought it was. going, Dave, was that men should be allowed to have fashion freedom and women keep

it all under wraps. Where a duvades? Yeah, hide it. Yeah. Not quite old fellow. If you do that, you may find it a snare. And one of these days with their sudden

changes will bring you a summer pneumonia. A summer pneumonia. Well, look, I think they're confused about how chest infections happen? Sure. What is summer pneumonia?

Why would someone get that? I don't understand. No, they're saying, I think they're saying that if you wear what he wants to wear, that you'll get a cold and then summer pneumonia. But there's no summer pneumonia. So they're saying that'll happen because of what you're wearing. Jesus Christ. Okay, and this is all in the lead.

Yeah. Yeah, the idea that this is all. We have to figure all this out. They're like, what's the most important information? Yeah. That's right. Welcome to the Monday Night Clues. Cotton is not an absorbent and is no more fit to be worn next to the skin than a coat of mail would be.

What? That's not true. Not that kind of mail, Gares. No, thank you. What about cotton is absorbent. Is this another one of your hints? No. Not to sound like a fan, but I remember the episode of the dollup.

Have you guys, do you guys know that show? I don't know what that is now. Okay. The episode you did about deodorant and how advertisers appealed to men and said, if you wear deodorant, you might get a job because you're so stinky during the Great Depression. Oh, my God. I don't remember that. Jared, you have to listen to this episode.

I would love to. It's shocking how many of the episodes I haven't been on, to be honest, in retrospect. It seems like I missed a lot. That's fucking hilarious to be like, don't be stinky. It'll help. Yeah. But as you're reading this, Dave, it just makes me think about, again, how stinky people were up until, like, 20, 23. Yeah, they were terrible smelling.

They told they smelled terrible. They had no clue either. And it's really the breath, I think, that would get you. Really? I think it's like the movements, people gesticulating. Like, please don't talk with your arms. Yeah, I get that. I have a friend who in college just was like, I'm done with deodorant.

And I was like, that's not a you call. And it really was a friendship-changing event. Like it made you closer. Yeah, I was just attracted to him. The pheromones, everything got hotter. just as long as they weren't wearing cotton yeah it's disgusting

imagine and you went to you you you uh you matriculated in 1888 right yeah yes I went to be oh

yep that's so stupid no it isn't smart it's a smart joke I actually I'm embarrassed I actually I went to P.U

oh you have a master I'm a, I'm at my master's at P.U. And then my undergrad was B.O. Guys, that's as good as it's going to get. Short episode today. Yeah, yeah. It holds the purse.

I think we're talking about cotton still. It holds the perspiration. When are we not? Classics. And excretions of the body. Jesus Christ. What is that? What?

I'm a little grossed out at this point. Cotton again. Cotton. holds the perspiration and excretions of the body. Of those million little sewers. Sounds like one of my hugs. Is that an excerpt from the body keeps the score? I think so.

What? I don't know if anyone's ever committed libel against cotton so strongly. Of these million little sewers in its meshing. Million little sewers. Yeah, that's what your pores on. Leave cotton alone. Your pores are little sewers In its meshes

There's little turtles hanging out Yeah Yeah That's right In suspension as it were And when you stand in a breezy place You feel this foreign presence By the cold clammy sensation

Which brings out the expression That someone is walking over your grave What the fuck are you talking? I hate when someone walks over my grave Like, can you take another route? Enough. I'm a huge fan. Like, I'd love it.

Oh, my God. Underwear should always be constructed of woolen material, which may be made as light and flimsy as desired. It is cooler than cotton and far more cleanly. Let's see. This is Richard Guernsey, MD, who said that. Guernsey. And you're reading from the weather section?

Yeah, this is the five days? This is just page one in the paper. This is just all very normal. Just about how cotton is a shirt sewer. That's right. What's the problem? And so to reiterate, they're saying that underwear should be like as thin as possible. And this era, I couldn't agree with that less.

When you're talking about the armpits, now I'm thinking crotch and it's concerning. Why are you thinking crotch? Because he has summer pneumonia. Yeah, come on, Dave. I'm sick, buddy. It's almost June. Jesus Christ. All right.

So you got a hot pair of pants on? Panties? No, no, that's not what I'm saying. Hot wool pants. Hot wool panties. No, no, no, no. Come and get them. What, Sam?

You get the bar. Hot wool panties. Hot wool panties. Eat some nuts out of these hot wool panties. Babe Ruth wears them. So can you. Babe Ruth's fucking underwear should be in a museum somewhere. Oh.

Just as the glass shatters from inside every year. I would like to see a heist movie about the team that tries to steal those from the museum. National League treasure. Yes. Need it. All right. Dreams of the Blind. This is going to be bad.

Of course. It's going to be bad. It's going to be terrible. Yep. the dreams of the blind are of great importance it's true i don't disagree so far and the fact that persons i don't care i don't care

how able-bodied or not you are i don't want to hear about your dreams they're boring i agree i want to talk about my dreams i don't agree yeah you're like the subway takes guy who shows up on my yeah okay yeah okay 100% agree. Ah, fuck. Wait, Dave, I got to come back.

I fucking unplugged the wrong part of my computer. Yeah. Hold on. Holy shit, Reynolds. Summer pneumonia for you. What an ass. Well, I guess I'm your goal host going forward. I have so much availability, so this is great.

That's, yeah, sorry, we had to fire him. That's okay. Sorry. I was trying to charge my computer, and I pulled out the wrong. wrong fucking cord like an idiot that is something an idiot would do I agree am I okay day

I mean define what that means I know uh life I could I could work some stuff out for you just for life I agree stuff okay all right sorry about that so disrespectful to the blind yeah

and death I mean that that was yeah that was very coincidental it was not great what I just did I'm not going to lie. When I move my left arm, the wire moves. Can you hear that? No. No.

No. Okay, so I should be, I should try to make it loud. I should try to make it. Yeah, whatever you can do. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry for interrupting, Dave. Well, I mean.

It won't happen again for a couple more moments. We have you here not to talk, but just sit there. To be seen but not heard. Thank you. Thank you. Sounds like you're doing. a lot of hearing, though. Reynolds.

Dave. Andrea. Are we just saying each other's name? Yeah. More. It's going good. More. That's right.

Anthony. Backwards. Ah. I think we should be on CNN. I agree. The dreams of the blind are of great importance. And the fact that persons' Born blind, never dream of seeing is established by the investigations of competent inquires.

That's what they used to call detectives. Now they got, now they don't. I don't. Is that true? No. That can't be true, right? No, I'm so full of it today. Yeah.

If you could never see, wouldn't you just create in your mind versions of what you think it would be, and then you would dream about that? I'll answer, as the only blind person here, I've often wondered, when you listen to Stevie Wonder, that's why they call him Stevie Wonder, you always wonder. So much of what he writes is visual. Like there's so many things where I'm like, what does he do?

Like superstition. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he is, he's like writing something nasty on the bathroom wall I'm like, Steve. Yeah, but that's Braille. He's writing Braille. Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay, well, this is what AI says because so this can't be true.

Steve, you just destroyed a Brazilian rainforest. Yes, fuck them. I need to know about blind people dreaming. Gire. My God. What's more important? Yeah, he's a real balsy. AI says, yes, people do dream, although their dreams can differ from those of sighted individuals,

while cited people often dream with. vivid visual images blind individuals may dream more with other senses like sound, taste, touch, and smell. I don't understand. I dream of people wearing cotton. Yeah.

Nightmen. So my dreams are really smelly. I dream of just me in wool panties in a desert. I dream of genie. Dave dreams of people wearing hats or as we call it, I dream a beanie. I'm going to unplug my stuff again.

I'm going to unplugging everything again. Apologist. I apologize. I'm sorry, Andrew. I didn't mean it. So this is the crazy thing about this question that I gave to the internet. I don't think blind people don't dream. I just want to know how they dream.

And it keeps going, yes, yes, blind people dream. Oh, you mean they're people? Oh, okay, thanks for, thanks for answering that. Of course, they dream. I think they dream. I just don't think they feel. Yeah. Brave.

Brave. By the way, I'm allowed to say that because I'm a very hateful person. Oh, I thought you were going to go somewhere else. Okay. I'm allowed to say that. I'm awful. Okay, so recent research suggests that people who are blind from birth or otherwise can still experience visual images in their dreams. Yes, that's what I thought.

Yes. That makes sense. It would not make sense any other way. It's like you're looking for a problem. It's not there. I could text my blind friend. What's the question for my blind buddy? Was he born?

Was he born a blind or did he have a... I think he lost it. I think he lost it. I guess I would ask him like, like how long are you going to keep up this charade? Yeah. I've tried. And then say, do you have a soul?

Like, just start it like, you know, from basic. But smell it. He listens to the show. So I'm not going to, Dominic, we're sorry. Just say, I. would just say like what are are your dream yeah i mean if he lost if he lost it i think it'd be a little bit different than you're born with it yeah that's what i think the idea is like what's a what's the visuals of a dream like you want me to call now that's now it's getting weird yeah i think it's right

it's a bad call to make um i have to let my dog that dave hates outside he's just he don't hate that dog well you don't like i don't like that you put shoes on your fucking dog it's All right, everybody. Just what the fuck is happening right now. Give me one moment. They don't need shoes. What do you doing with the dog? Well, I have to just let them out.

I'm just going to open the door. She puts pictures up on Instagram and just dog and shoes. And it's not like I get like if it's hot pavement. Okay. Put shoes on your dog. But she just does it for the hell of it on like a Wednesday. And the temperature is 70 degrees out. I don't know whose side I'm on,

but I think I'm closer to. Andrew's side than your... She also thinks buildings should look like trees. So the whole thing is. I think it's cute to paint your house with a little apple tree on it. Oh, your dog's very cute.

Oh, thank you. He only wears shoes when it's... So people in my neighborhood put these signs on their lawns that say, you know, like 84 degrees outside can be like 93 degrees on the concrete for the dogs. So when it's really hot out,

I put the shoes on his paws, but I just took a picture of him the other day when it wasn't that hot. And I said, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Shoes. And everyone loved it. And then Dave didn't like it. That's Dave's gear. That's Dave's whole thing. He's a contrarian. Yes.

They call me Jimmy Dor. They call him Mr. Shoes. Cotton shoes, I'm guessing. Look who comes crawling back. Well, he's trotting more than that. Okay, fair. So far as we know, there is no proof of a single instance of a person born blind ever in dreams fancying what he saw. What the fuck does that mean?

What are you talking about? What does that mean? That is such crazy. That is such seeing person shit. Thank you. I feel like the writer is so antagonistic towards blind people that, of course, no one's going to talk to you. about their dreams because you're a nightmare to talk to. Yeah, right.

Yeah. That's right. Yeah. I have some questions about what's wrong with you. Yeah. And how you're fucked up. And it'll be in the paper. It'll be in the paper. The subject has been treated by Joseph Jastrow in the Presbyterian Review. Oh, good. Wait, Jastrow? Do you have an issue with the name Jastrow? No. I'm going to call my friend Jastrow right now and get him on the phone.

He has examined nearly 200 persons of both sexes in the institutions for the blind in Philadelphia. 32 became blind before completing their fifth year and not one of these 32 seized in dreams. Birthdays from now on should be called completing whatever year. That is completing your fifth year. I just graduated to six. Are you going to have a party? I'm having a party. I've completed another year.

32 became blind before completing their fifth year and not one of these 32 sees in dreams concerning Laura Bridgman the blind and deaf mute Professor Stanley Hall quoted by Mr. Jastra says quote sight and hearing are absent from her dreams as they are from dark and silent world

which alone she does that's you can't just your dream just can't be black shade dreams and not things. You, go ahead, Dave. Get mad. I mean,

the whole thing is just to make them. It's very strange. They're not like us. Yes. My issue is that. I'm like, this isn't news. No,

it's not. I think I agree as well with that. But the news to me is they dream of void. Yeah. Breaking. Breaking news. Yeah, right. Braching news.

Yeah, it's horseshit. Of course shit, I said it. I think it is. This hot weather will be making, this is just a random, there's no headline. This hot weather will be making the corn of the corn. This hot weather will be the making of the corn crop, and a bountiful yield of that cereal will make this country,

even in a presidential year, to blossom like a rose. Famous last words. Yeah, just like last year. A big corn crop will put an end to the railroad wars out west and thus add to the general prosperity. I mean, so. So once again, corn. Once again, we-

So I'm going to corn. Yeah. One thing I'm noticing is that we have a lot of corn now, almost too much corn. But back then, it was never enough corn. We've over-corrected. As we're hearing, corn can change the world. It can stop the wars. it's just once you're heavy on corn.

If corn a chance. Honestly. Yeah. Corn was like the Bitcoin of the 1880s. It was called Bitcoin back then. Still is. Don't encourage. Yeah.

Yeah. This ought to be consolation enough to endure this kind of weather for a season. Oh, they're saying, enjoy the hot weather because it's going to, we're going to, we're going to corn. A lot of corn. You're paying now is future corn. It's hot, but we're going to be full. corn. My son passed away from the heat, but you're going to get a lot

of corn this fall. I don't have a voice, but I have a question, which is that, is this a national newspaper you're reading from? This seems like a voice that you're making now. Yeah, go back to your regular one. Is this a national paper? Yeah. Bring back Andrea.

Did they have those? There was, yeah, right, Dave? Like, were they reading this in California? No. Sometimes at this time they did have like an AP so you could get stuff off the wire. You could get college credit. Yeah.

Yes, college credit. That's right. A P.U. Listen. Shout out. Go lions. Queer people. Careful.

Everyone careful. We're going in. Queer people, some of these religionists. Oh, I see what I see. Great people, some of these religious. He left out a word that he could eat. At Ocean Grove Saturday night, the singing of a Boston lady so enthused 8,000 people attending the meeting of the National Temperate Society that they entirely forgot themselves,

and their applause ran into a tumultuousness that almost caused a riot. See, that's why you need booze. Yeah. If you're drinking, you're not writing. a riot over clapping. It's like con. Yeah, it really is. It really is.

Brendan Frazier in the center of another clap riot. You got to be drunk if you're going to riot. The police always started for no reason. Yeah. Yeah, they do. They always do. Fuckers. The vocalist had to repeat her solo to quell the tumult.

Oh, so that's one way to stop riot that we lost to history as you sing. I've been in the center of a couple of rights trying to sing and it did not work What did you sing Tub thumping But he forgot the words Yeah well it's a confusing song And a lot of it sounds just like talking

I was like wait I'm about to sing I drink a whiskey drink A drink a vodka drink A drink a laog a drink A drink a sign a song's hold on Ah and then I'm beaten Yeah It sounds like your fault a little bit

I don't agree Yeah Now that the Canadian government has called off its cruisers instructed its lawyers to discontinue proceedings against captured fishing craft and bat completely doubt from its policy due bluster and annoyance

it would not be well to put behind us all this miserable, petty squabbling about mackerel and cultivate... It's so Canadian. another macro argument wow and uh about mackerel and cultivate larger trade better acquaintance and friendlier relations with our neighbors next door so we were we were having macro fights so they were trading mackerel i just want to get this right they were trading mackerel to the u.s in exchange for bitcoin yeah yes bitcoin yes and and and then we had more corn than they had macs

So, you know, now we got to do tariffs. Right. Of course. What else are you going to do? Something I definitely understand. Well, and I, this is so funny to hear Canada as its own country because now I just picture it as a big part of America. Right.

It's like Texas. It's ours. Yeah. But kind of stupid. Yeah. It's like I mean, whatever. Less measles. I call it measles.

Texas. Thank you. But we're going to get them measles. for sure we're gonna get them measles we're gonna yeah we'll give them measles yeah for mackerel mackerel for measles you give us mackerel we'll give you measles you fucking weirdos it's called trading yeah it's going to make it a deal did a stand-up set for that non-profit by the way i'll let's just jump out quickly because we've worked with mackerel for measles

there's a benefit show that i was on we've worked with them for a while we've worked with them for a long time and they do great work. And that's very nice to hear. That's good for you to get. I bombed, but, you know, it was the thought. Who doesn't? Some of the hardest people are the people who eat mackerel and have measles. Oh, I get so hard after ate mackerel.

It's crazy. I really do. It's nuts. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Same. It's just crazy. Yeah.

And that's why I'll just sometimes back up. a whole mackle truck and just dump it in garris yard i go wild i basically by the end it looks like salt burn with mackerel i'm just in there yard humping by the way that's another chumbo wamba song yard humpin it's actually very different it's a different one yeah yeah yeah it's a macrow mouth yeah no oh god i got another attention of democrat uh secretary whitney of the navy has ordered Rear Admiral Luce to send All right. Rear Admiral Luce. Hold on.

That is a fucking name. Now I'm Mackerel Hard. Rear Admiral Luce. Hello. Yeah. Hello. Don't mind if I do. That's actually, that'd be a good name for a...

I'd rather rear Admiral tight. Or ordered Real Admiral Luce to send all available ships of the North Atlantic Squadron to the Canadian fishing waters to protect the interests of... our American fishermen. This is done pending the ratification of the treaty negotiations in the event of any trouble. The appearance of the

American and Canadian warships in the same waters may give it a resemblance of war, but we hope there will be no outbreak. Man, I had no idea we almost went to war over mackerel. It's really amazing. We're always this close. Yeah, always. Yeah, it's just, yeah,

just whatever. It's just like, you know, fine earth minerals, whatever we're looking for at the time. Macral used to, didn't phones used to run on mackerel, Dave, or am I drunk? Yeah, that's why we had to kill Lumumba.

That's right. No, think about it. History smiles upon. We really had no choice. Yeah, no, our whole, America's whole history is basically, you want to fucking try me? Yeah. Democracy everywhere.

Not so fast. actual democracy. Yeah, how dare you? And I also, it's like, I didn't even vote for Admiral Luce. Is that true? Well, I did write in. Yeah, okay. So I did vote, but.

Okay. Gareth voted for Admiral Tite, obviously. Oh, okay. I'm just going to leave you there. Sorry, I don't know what just happened, honestly. It really faded into that. A curious fatality is reported to have followed the parties to a suit in Washington County in Illinois. The man making the note to secure the payment of which he gave a mortgage on his farm and flowering mill died just after the foreclosure proceedings on the property had taken place.

He was just a kid. Then one, yeah, just a young man. then one of the mortgages died and soon afterwards that's the right turn anyone who's dealt in real estate knows that that term holds up we held on to that for sure won't someone think of the mortgagees the mortgageees

and soon afterward the master enchancery who by order the court was yeah this is anyone who's tried to close on a house is very familiar with all of these terms. Because they've held up. Your roof wizard.

The master in chancery, I don't want to know that person's spoutics. Master and chancery. So you just have to sign a couple more documents and then the master and chancery will come over. He'll fight the notary. And if the notary survives, then you are in escrow.

Eskro. Just a picture of me in front of my first house holding a mac, girl. I did it. Soon after, the master of chancery, who by order of the court must have made the sale, died. What? That means it's yours.

Well, this is a cursed house. This is a cursed mortgage. Yeah. Right? Sure. It's a haunted mortgage? I don't know. Which mortgage is on?

Thank you. Yeah. This death of the sheriff who served The sheriff's dead. Is it interchangeable? Yeah. What's happening? They're all going down.

The death of the sheriff who served the writ soon followed. Oh, I see. We interrupted. And then the son of the original owner who was the executor of the estate died. No. But? This is a haunted mortgage. Holy shit.

Or will. But what the writer isn't including is that they died 25 years apart. Right. I mean. On a night just like tonight. Oh, this is what? of those ones that if you want to close on the property, you have to spend a full night in it alone.

Then it's yours. Yeah, they don't really give any time line on this. That's fine. Decades. Well, they wouldn't. Why would they tell you that? Next, the other mortgage he died, leaving the interest in the mortgage to two nephews,

one of whom shortly died. What? What the fuck is happening? Two nephews. Wait, so the order is Admiral Or is that a Admiral?

Admiral. No, are we doing Admiral? No, there's Admiral. No, Chancellor to Sheriff to two nephews. No, you left one out. And the son. So the original guy, the original guy dies.

The mortgagee dies. And then the Master of Chancery dies. I'm glad he's gone, by the way. He was no angel. Yeah. And then the sheriff died, which... Dave. Okay.

And then the son of the original owner, who was executor died, and then the next mortgagee died. And then the nephews died. No, one of the nephews died. Oh, okay. So the last guy is like just fucking sitting pretty. He's like, I'm fucking rich. You got it all. Sure.

I mean, he's known to share it with, but that's the American dream. Well, maybe there's a niece. And this time? This is before knees is where it been. It's just called your sister's kid. Thus making the seventh death of parties connected with the case, each death has, of course, delayed proceedings, and for once, the grim monster seems to have got the best of the courts.

The grim monster. I think he's just talking about the grim reaper. No, no relation. Excuse me. This is my cousin, the grim monster. Monster. Hi. I can't kill.

I thought it was his nephew. It could be nephew. Well, whatever. So the nephew got it. I'm happy. This is a happy story. No, it isn't. Fifteen people died for one guy to get a house, kind of?

It's good. It's just nice to hear a nephew secure a W for once. You don't hear enough of it anymore. You really don't. There's not enough feel-good nephew stories anymore. Well, it doesn't make a good headline. No, that's true. No.

Nephew succeeds. Pass. Nobody cares. The hottest day. Saturday and Sunday were considered the hot. They're obsessed with these fucking the weather. They're like, oh my God. Shit's going to be sweaty on Sunday.

Well, think about the corn. It's like nothing beyond small talk had been invented yet. Yeah, it really is. So all the articles were about the weather. It's just like this paper should be called the things my grandma said over the weekend. So, grandma's were invented, but not. Allegedly. If, yeah, allegedly.

Talk about wool underwear. What? What? Grandmas. Huh? Yeah. I brought it back. To what?

See you later. Wool underwear wasn't the first story. It was caught. Oh, I wasn't there for that. No, he said you should wear wool. That was a half hour ago. Nobody knows what you're talking about. Oh, sorry.

Oh, the mortgagee. Fuck you, Reynolds. That's funny. That was funny. Saturday and Sunday were considered the hottest days since the heat term began, but we think today takes the cake. We. We're using we language now.

So it's hot enough to be a new story. You guys guess how hot you think it'll be? 68. Yousa! 94. Oh, the thermometer at 10 a.m. stood at 96 in the shade and at 12 noon 98 degrees. 96 in the shade. I like that's like, that's like burning hot for the 1880s. Yeah.

Now it's like Tuesday. Yeah. In consequence of the intense heat, but few persons were seen upon our streets and mechanics that were engaged on buildings, exposed to the sun's rays, were compelled to. leave a work. What? Excuse me. Nope. There'll be no leaving of work.

No one wants to work anymore. Yeah, you just died. I couldn't agree more. That must be where your last name comes from. I couldn't agree more. I couldn't agree, Andrea Moore. That's your first album, correct? Yes.

Thank you. You guys done? Wow. I'm actually sitting on a pregnant pause. No, actually, I'm done. That's what they call. call her moreless. That's the name of my third album.

Don't have a second album. Interesting. Yeah. Character in Thumbs, a French writer judges women by their thumbs. Okay. Andy, let's see your thumbs. Oh, you better pay me extra for this.

Judgment coming. I want to join your only thumbs, huh? Oh, hell, come on. Oh, they went down. No, no. What a roller cost there, which has not been. Those with large thumbs are said to be more likely to possess native intelligence, while the small thumbs indicate feeling. I like this kind of phrenology because...

Thumb phrenology? It's correct, yeah. Because it's correct. Science has proven this out. This big-thumbed woman does not feel a thing. That's how they know I'm a Jew. They measured my thumb. There we are.

We've got the Jew. I don't. But nobody's like if you're a big person, you have bigger thumbs. And if you're a smaller person, you have smaller thumbs. Excuse me, Dave. I would remove that from the show if you want to have a career. That is so fucked up. That is so fucked up.

I mean, I don't know what subredits you're on. Honestly. Where are you hearing that. That's crazy. The audacity. I've met many fat people. with small thumbs and skinny with hitchhiker digits. It's disgusting.

David is 2025. Can you explain hitchhiker digits? The larger the thumb, the more likely the ride. I don't think that's true. Yes, it's true. How many small thumbs have you picked up? Many. Okay, all right.

Well, there you go. Many small thumbs. Okay. Many small thumbs. Sure. Particularly. monkeys. Have you ever listened to the Chambalwamba song

Tub thumbing? The one about gravy? Keep reading. Next story. We've lost Andrea. I mean, she's... Yeah, she's out. She checked out. She's like, why... Sorry, I'm just sitting with my thumbs in scots.

Yeah, yeah. Well, now she's... It becomes self-conscious. Yes. It feels like somewhat... Yeah. You get great thumbs. Oh, stop. We're all looking at your thumb, man.

Okay, you know what? I was fishing. Macrole for mackerel I'm rich Colonel Bob Ingersoll recently said If I were governor

And a woman who has been abused Get ready It's yeah It could go either way I don't like it already I don't like it And a woman who has been abused And kicked by your husband

Got up in the night And cut off his head with an axe I'd give her a public reception Oh, there we go. A feel good story. He, yeah, he is very much for the execution of abusers. That's good. But I would also say.

Like Lorena Bobbitt. Not through the courts. True. Definitely not through the courts. He's saying women should cut off their husband's head if their husband abuses them. Yep. Which I'm kind of okay with. I mean, it's going to create a little.

more chaos in our society, but just lop the head off. I'm for it. What's the loss? The loss is the head. Yeah, well, yeah, technically. Well. You mentioned Lorraine of Bobbitt there, Andrea. That seems, you know, that's not okay.

I'm still not over there. Kind of dickish, you know what I mean? Oh, that's funny. Can I see the thumbs again, please? No. Yeah, that's our, I don't know. I don't know if there's an equivalent. That's penis 9-11.

I don't know if there's an equivalent of women that have been wrong, but that's our... No, you attach a penis. That's the opposite. Kind of an Elon Moss situation. Yeah, yeah. Dave, don't look, Dave, we're on the same team right now, so I'm going to need that weird... I don't know if we are. Did you say penis, 9-11?

You attach a penis. Yeah, penis, 9-11. I think that was an inside job. Yeah, that was, yeah, if I have my way, it is. And by the way, uh, july. Just like real 9-11, it wouldn't happen if Mark Wahlberg was there. That's true. Thank you.

Thank you. The fuel doesn't melt steel penises. Yeah. Thank you. Jesse Ventura's talked about it a lot. A lot. A lot. The colonel in his floored ways says many brilliant things, but as a good lawyer and jurist,

this is not a wise recommendation. So the paper saying don't cut off the head of abusers. Okay. Don't agree. But they're not going to get, no one's going to put them in jail in this time. They're going to be like, well, what did she do? So, uh, she got lippy. Was he the guy who said this? Was he kind of what was considered like, like a woke guy.

Yeah. Back then, like he was just saying that to get pussy, right? Yeah, I think he probably. Yeah. Yeah. Like he's going up to women and saying, I think if a woman is abused by her husband, then she should be allowed to cut off his head. It's a lot like, and then it's the Twitter allies who like right after that for like four years like, man, I just, look, it's so sick of these abusive pieces of shit.

And then it was like, hey, by the way, he like sexually harassed me and kissed me when I didn't want it. Well, yeah, a few months later, this guy was missing his head. Yeah, for sure. What was that? A sound effect? Yeah, no. Now are you, yeah, what do you do it over there? Like, you literally.

Did you just drop a goldfish from a. ladder into a mug? What just happened? Okay, so I'm trying a new thing in my comedy career. That sound cannot be replicated. It's kind of a Rube Goldberg

device, but for sounds. Unreal. Doing radio plays. It's really good. Oh, this is what this When that happened, I was like, they're not going to hear it. Nobody heard that. Oh, no, it's all they heard.

So she threw a marble into a kitty pool from a cliff. And you'll never guess what happened next. Yeah, he was, yeah, he was, he, he's basically a lefty for the time. He's an abolitionist. He opposed the Chinese Exclusion Act and. It's so, by the way. Amazing to hear what a progressive was back then. One of my favorite acts in history in legislation is the Chinese Exclusion Act because it's so, it just says what it is.

Right. Like there's no hiding behind nomenclature. It's just like, we don't want the Chinese here. No fucking Asians, specifically them Asians. It's kind of refreshing in a way. Well, I've got good news for you. Country Act. Well, not anymore.

Yeah, true. Now we're going back to that version. I mean, we're right near it now. I'm running on a platform of the, of trying to pass the Chinese Inclusion Act. That is, thank you. You're going to lose. I'm running on a coalition building. It's not always about winning.

Oh, here we go. Here we go. You got to think long term, Dave. Go ahead. Get on your soapbox. Dave. Once we're dead, this might come together. Once you're dead, the mortgagee is going to change hands.

Yeah. You know how this ends. A bunch of bodies scattered amongst burned trees from climate change and a parliamentarian patting themselves on the back saying, yeah, that's what it should be. This was the right play. Is that from a movie? Yeah, sure.

What are you quoting? A script I wrote called The Parts. Parliamentarian. It's a great script. Where is it set up? CBS. That's cool. See?

How much you get paid for you? I'm paying them. How much mackerel? A lot of mackerel in this game right now. It's not what I'm hearing. Yeah. We're following coach. Hello?

Coach the TV show? No. No, the director. We call him coach. What? Huh? Are we still podcasting? Yeah.

Oh, okay. The Reverend Dr. Swem, a young Baptist minister. Swam? S-W-E-M-S-W-E-M-Swem. Okay, okay. You idiot. Thank you. A young Baptist minister created quite a sensation in Washington last Sunday by arraining the Society of Women of the Capitol as habitual gamblers.

Jesus Christ. It's pretty assaultive right now. It's like nonstop, like women congregating, look out. And then one guy's just like, if you hit him, you should die. Women chatting, be aware. He declared that the shameless openness with which the practice is carried on is only equaled by Monte Carlo or the gaming houses of Parisian women. That's a low blow. That is a low blow.

He told of one young lady. He told of one young lady. He told a one of a. Now you made my dog mad. He told of one young lady who lost $250 given her by her father for the purpose of summer toilets to be worn at an adjacent seaside resort. Worn? It says to be worn. To be worn.

I am if I have enough vodka. Hello? Summer toilet. Hello. I don't. I guess I don't quite understand what a toilet. Diper? Is your dog killing someone?

I think someone's trying to get in. Let him in. Let him get him on the show. Give him a mic. Open borders. I have an open borders policy, but about Dave's house. I completely, I've been saying that to him for a while. He won't, by the way, the only people who let in are the Chinese.

I don't know if you've seen that. Well, like you said, he's a contrarian. He's always going against the grain. Doors shutting. Laughter happening from far away. One of his pant legs is up. Dave, are you hip-hop? He was cycling.

He went on a bike ride. With a one-legged bike ride. I forgot that I had a dog walker coming. And so the dog walker, the dog, the dog saw the dog walker and lost that line. Is that like a zombie dog? Yeah. Some days you can't walk your dog because you're podcast. all day. Some days you can't walk your dog because you can't find their fourth shoe.

Don't you do it. Don't you? You can only find three shoes. I think I heard of your fourth shoe dropping the mug. Andrea, has this happened? I'm just waiting for the fourth shoe to drop. Andrea, has that happened? Have you not been able to walk your dog because you can find the four shoe? I mean, that's kind of the excuse I'm telling myself or not. Well, I can't find that fourth shoe. I guess I'll just live in poop. Okay, back to this. He told the one young lady who lost $250 given her by her father for the purpose of summer

toilets. So the second time was really funny. Which happens. I just happen. Summer toilets. I just don't understand what's happening. It's February. Get out of here.

My God. What do you do this? Holy shit. You can't use a summer toilet in February. There's a winter toilet over there. To be worn at the adjacent That's a Frank Sinatra song, isn't it? Yeah, summer toilets, yeah.

The summer toilets. I have no idea what's happening in this sentence. Nobody does. I have some semblance. What? Oh, I'm not going to reveal that information. Damn it. Such bullshit.

Summer toilets. Summer toilets. I can't wait for school to be over so I can't wait for school to be over so I could go into the summer toilets. I mean, I looked it up and you can buy a summer toilet, but it's like still? It's like for party

It's like very expensive. Summer toilet. I want to buy a summer toilet for party training. I'm going by myself. I wonder if it's like a Why don't you read more and maybe we'll be able to understand the context? I'm not opposed to that. When you go on

your summer vacation, you go out to the country and you bring a temporary toilet like a portable toilet. Like you bring a portable toilet. Sometimes known as a bucket. I just call him summer buckets. Yeah. Even though it's a Beach Boys album.

Anyway, he gave her money to buy summer toilets. What the fuck? I'm sorry, I'm not accepting it. I'm not accepting. Because she was like, there's no such thing as a summer toilet. So I'm going to just use this money. We literally all have Googled it and nothing is happening. And now her dad is like, it's summertime.

I'm shitting on the ground. She just convinced him that was the thing. She's like, Dad, can I have some money for the summer toilets? You girls and your summer toilets. Here you go, sweetheart. Have fun. Crapping in the summer toilets. In consequence of the loss, the gambling transaction became known.

And the young woman has been sent out of the city by her parents. So she's been punished for not buying the summer toilets and gambling. She's been banished. And this is in the news. Correct. Well, there's a family that's not going to have a summer toilet. No, no, no. There's one girl who's not going to have a summer toilet.

Honestly, and then I'll crapping it. I'll cry you a summer toilet. Cry me a river? Because there's no such thing as a summer toilet. A summer toilet. That sounds like a Bravo show. Summer toilet. Don't miss the summer toilet reunion.

You were shitting where you shouldn't have. It was June. The summer toilet reunion. Nothing on that show is real. Well, come on. I like to believe. I got it. It just sounds like it's an outhouse.

In the 1800 summer toilets, generally referred to outdoor toilets, often called outhouse. What was the winter toilet? No. That must be one you kept in your house. Oh, just your bucket. Or it's the lake.

So, and you know this. The lake? Oh, crime the living in there. In Minnesota, you sit on the frozen lake in the winter. And then when the summer comes, it's called the melting of the toilet. And then all the shit goes down to the bottom of the lake. That's what a winter toilet is. I can't believe I have to explain this to someone

Can I say something? I find all of this so crass. I agree. The show used to be about history and now you're talking about ice crapping. It used to have good family values. Yeah. I think this is romantic and sexy.

Sexy talk. Crapping on the ice. Ever since I showed my thumbs, the vibe has changed. I agree. I mean, it was what everything changed. I really thought that it would be different. I thought you'd have huge fucking thumbs.

What are you doing in the winter toilet? What do you go with it? What do you mean? What do I go with it? Her or me? Where do you take your winter toilet? Thank you. So the ice could pass.

Yes. I take my winter. Anytime I go to a hockey game, I'll take it to the park. What is the winter? Are we just going bucket inside when it's cold? Is that what's happening? I think so. I mean, that made sense.

I think a winter toilet is an indoor toilet. I mean, considering the smells we're already up against. Yeah, but Gareth, it's so cozy. Oh, my God. It is cozy. It is very cozy. How's your book? Just in a one-bedroom cabin.

Okay, back to the story. It's a one-bedroom to winter toilet. No. No. I mean, I think the point is, don't gamble away your winter. toilet funds. You know, summer toilet. Sorry, summer toilet or winter toilet.

Just don't gamble away toilet. Winter toilet funds like a bucket. Similar cases we're told about. And in conclusion, the doctor made the sweeping declaration that the young ladies of Washington spend their days in private poker playing. Private poker playing. Sorry, I have an audition coming up. Yeah, keep going.

Private poker playing. Andrea Moore. These are my thumbs, and I'm based on the... Are you willing to shave them? Yes. Okay, good. Are you willing to wear cotton underwear? Yes, I'll do anything.

Okay. All right, so you're auditioning for Leslie. We're replacing her on summer buckets. So... So you admit that it's all made up. No, no. We're casting her assistant. Everything else remains true.

The doctor seems to be, well posted on Washington society, and he may be a very moral and conscientious man, but if he expects to reform these society ladies by his preaching, he would do more than any other minister has done in their time. There is nothing like trying brother swim. Huh? He said there's nothing like trying brother swim. They're saying, the paper saying, go get him. Huh.

Do you want to know how much rents were? Does this have a winter toilet or is this just? Eastport. This is just an ad. Cheap rent. Eastport. Wait, I want to guess. Tell me the number of beds and baths.

How many beds and bats? It doesn't say it says new brick. It says new brick houses. That's all it says. I'm going to go to Zillow Time Traveler. What year was this again? This is 1888. How much per month?

What do you think? I'm going to guess $20. $3. Wait, $20 is way too high. I'm going to guess $3. What the fuck? Andrew wins. It's $6 a month.

What? What? What? I won. Because you did three. She did three, which is six. Oh. I love to win.

This is 38 Charles Street. Wow. That's pretty fucking $6 a month. What do you think that is? I wonder what that is in today's money. Well, it's going to be really small because we rent used to be like marginally affordable. Now, $6 for, I mean, it's going to be cheap. It's going to be like $4.50.

$4.50? I think it's going to go down. Yeah. I think it's cheaper. Oh, my God. It's $2.50. $100. That's fucking... Oh, that's outrageous for that little place.

Plus first and last. And you know you're not getting your full deposit back. I remember when I was like, this is not too long ago, when I was in Wisconsin at my buddy's place and it was huge. And I was like, what do you pay a month? He's like, it's pretty bad. It's like $3.50. I was like...

And he meant $3.50. He was not $3.50. Exactly right. Fuck. Well, we did it. Andrea, thank you for joining us. I was so short. Let's talk for another hour.

Okay. That's why they call you Andrea Moore, isn't it? Yeah, and a little bit extra. Everyone's last name comes from a story like that. Yeah, like Dave Madman. Now, Andrew, where can people get tickets to the show May 14th? I don't know. Look it up.

It's a punchline. Oh, yeah, the punchline website. Okay. Yeah, go to the punchline. Also, did the GoFund me for the dog shoes still on? Is that still a thing? The GoFund me. I bought those dog shoes with my very own money.

Hmm. Okay. It's not what I heard. Yeah. There's a lot of rumors online. I'm looking at some. Okay. Well, only half of them are true.

So you'd be the judge. Okay. Don't mind if I do. All right. Well, listen, I think, I mean, I learned a lot about, thumbs and really toilets. The legacy for this one of me is the summer toilets. We all learned a little bit.

For me, I learned that blind people can dream visually. I actually had no idea. Yeah, they mostly see dragons. All right, everyone. That's the end of this one. Bye. Thank you, Andrea. I'm allowed to say bye.

You got to stay. Hey, Dallup fans. I know you love the Dallup. You love listening to the Dullop. Do you want to watch the Dallop? You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation, and we are starting to animate some of our episodes.

So if you want to go watch a five-partner animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, I can't remember, of the Rube, you can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube. It really genuinely kicks ass, and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you're going to be able to. where you follow lakeside all that stuff the better chance we have of making a lot more of them we're already making a second one so go there and watch the rube