The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 129 - Straw Hat Riot

Episode Date: November 4, 2015

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the Straw Hat Riot of 1922. SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH 

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Mm-hmm. I read a story to my friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is about. I'll say it's really going nuts on a bag. Yeah he'll really get crazy on a bag in the kitchen. Do you want to look who to do? I'll do one buck. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gareth. Dave okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is not gonna come to tickling podcasts. Okay. You are queen fakie of made-up town. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle. And do what? Pray. Hi Cathy. No. Is he done my friend? No, no. January 16th 1797. Okay. And we are? London, England. All right yeah. Really? Well I'm

already sort of forming a character. Okay. I get it. John Hetherington. I'm Hetherington I am. Was a Haberdasher. And Haberdashing's the game. Do you know what Haberdashing is? I don't. Man who make clothes and stuff. Fashions for gents. Haberdashing. On this day after completing his latest creation, the top hat. Oh shit. He stepped outside for a walk. Dave. Yeah. Clicking in. Fucking dude. So he. Oh man. He's in his fucking little little fashion workshop. Who knows what happened. He's like how about a tall hat? And he just was that simple. Fucking whip that shit out. God. He's like Lady Gaga. At that time, John called it a silk hat. Interesting. A newspaper described that as a tall structure having a shiny luster

that was calculated to frighten timid people. Hold on. Do you think the cat's gonna jump out the window? Yeah. He will. Really? Yeah. Has he done that yet? No but he like. He'll like it's all it's all fun and games. He'll be on a window so having a good time and then you'll turn your back and he's like climbing the screen. You're like well that's dangerous. Well they're screen climbers cats. Okay so say that last part again. A newspaper described that as a tall structure having a shiny luster that was calculated to frighten timid people. Okay. It is kind of a power move. It makes you taller. Super power move. As one of the greatest examples of the power of hats to date. I was hoping that I would get something.

Because I was pretty happy when I wrote that. Well. John walked down the street and women fainted at the unusual sight. Oh shut up. He had the beetles on his head essentially. It's 1797. A crazy hat is fucking people's minds. Women are just coming and just dropping like flies. Children screamed in terror and dogs. No. It can't be possible. Dogs yelled. It was pretty much. This is a Michael Winslow dream. It was pretty much mayhem. It's a shockingly boring time. It's a fucking top hat frenzy baby. It's a shockingly boring time. The young son of Cordwayner Thomas who was returning from a Chandler's shop. Hey no questions. No idea what that is. Well that's not where you buy your favorite characters

from friends. Was pushed down by the crowd that had gathered and had his right arm broken. Over the top hat. Yeah shit's getting fucking nuts. It started okay. John Hetherington was then arrested by police. What the fuck. Wait a minute. This is in the span of probably an hour. I mean if even that. He went to work. He made a top hat. He put it on. He wore it outside. Women dropped like flies. Kids were freaked out. Dogs made noises. Dogs don't make. A guy gets his arm broken. He runs a Chandler shop and now this dude's going to prison. Yeah this shit's happening. So he's arrested by police and taken before the Lord Mayor. Hetherington said he had not broken any law by wearing a hat. Nothing. It's a

hat. It's just a tall one. It's just a larger size. He was charged with breach of the piece. Wow. And inciting a riot. And was forced to post a 500 pound bond. Oh my god. That's a shit load of money. A shit load. It's a shit load of money back then. That has to be too much for him. That's what it said in the book. Yet all the man had done was created he's back there. He's fine. Yet all the man had done was created a silk covered variation of the contemporary writing hat. It had a wider brim a lower crown and was made of beaver. That's interesting. But the media attention just led to a deluge of orders for top hats from John Hetherington. Rebels. Fucking press. That's how that's like rock and roll. What

could be but if he just worn the top hat out and people have been like oh that's a cool hat nothing. Yeah but he starts a fucking riot and people are like I gotta get me some of that hat. It's sort of like the covering of mass shootings too. It's exactly like that. The exact same thing. With less death. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And hats aren't meant to kill. Right. Okay. So there's two differences outside of that they're identical. And the guy with the hat wasn't killing people. Okay. Three little differences but outside of that I think. Same as a hat. It's the exact same as the top hat. Though there were there was mostly resistance to the top hat until it eventually caught on when Prince Albert Begaring

wearing one in 1850. Now did he have a pierced cock? Yeah girl. Alright great. Keep going. That wasn't the only hat that caused a riot in history. See now that line's funnier. One of the all time great hat riots would soon come to America. What? Hats were until recently part of a man's wardrobe. Right. Hats were basically required. If a man was seen outside without a hat there would have to be a reason for it. Like someone would say he was in such a frenzy he went outside without his hat. So the only way you could possibly wear a hat is if you had to run out of your place. Yeah. If you went outside without a hat on there was something wrong. Right. That's it. You'd walk down the street and be like without a

hat and people would be like what happened Jerry what happened? Oh my god it's a long story. Oh my hat's not here. Hats also declared one social status. Or social hat-us. Hat-us. A banker would wear a distinguished Humburg, a politician would don a top hat. Okay. If you didn't have a hat you wore a cloth cap. If you didn't have a hat you wore a cloth cap. Yeah. I was picturing just like a cloth. Like a piece of cloth on your head. Pretend it's a hat mate. I mean they weren't that fucking crazy. They were close. Yeah. Well they also used to put owls on their hats. As we all know ladies were strolling about with dead stuffed birds on their heads. Hello. It was the peak of hats. It was the peak of

the hats. Also known as hat peak. Oh man. I mean what a crazy time. Everybody had a hat. Not only did everybody had a hat on everybody had a crazy hat on unless we were poor. Crazy fucking hat. If you were above poor you had, if you were a lady you had an animal on your hat and if you were a guy you were trying to most likely intimidate people with the size of your hat. Yes. Hats were dicks. And the shininess of your hat. Hats were dicks for your heads. Hats were totally dicks for your heads. Even the tiny little hat you've got there. Hey what's that now? You got tiny little hats. They suit big enough hat for you. Yeah. Look at the size of this hat. Fuck off. Yeah. You small fucking hat dick. Even

the dirty poor could get hats. Woolworths sold a straw boater for ten cents. Okay. I mean is that just like one of those straws? It's a straw hat. Okay. Yeah. Poor women decorated their hats with fake flowers or fruit. Okay. So eventually you're just walking around with like flies just like. What is it? It's a pear. It's got a pear on me head. Do you got any left over water melon? Sorry we're so poor we might have to eat my hat. The poverty stricken man would buy himself a ribbon to wrap around his ten cent hat. I mean good God. Yeah this is the whole thing. Imagine that's when you're like you're giving people money or it's just like for God's sake go and buy yourself a ribbon. Clean yourself up. Get yourself a

fucking ribbon mate. Come on. Look at you. You look ridiculous. A straw hat was a cheap summer alternative to an expensive hat. It kept the head cool and was respectable. And it didn't require the work a felt hat did. Okay. A felt hat you had to rework and do all this shit with. Sure. But it was a fragile creature this straw hat. Yeah. If it came off the head and hit the ground it could easily be damaged. One accidental footstep and it was all over. So. Or a purposeful footstep. As in what somebody you would smash somebody's hat. Prick. Fuck you crank. Poor piece of shit. Mash hat. Back then there were rules about wearing hats. Felt hats were fashionably accepted as formal proper hats. Okay. Only during the

warm summer months from May 15th to September 15th could one wear a straw hat. Could. Could. And what if you did. Well then you were a social outcast. I mean something tells me in this time I would be a social outcast. Yeah. Without a doubt because you would be wearing your straw hat way up into December. Kidding me bro. I'd be walking around without that. I'd be like yeah they'd be like oh you must have left your place in quite a hurry. Nope. No I did not. Did not. Did not. Hatless. Didn't. And when it was cooler from September 16th to May 14th you were expected to wear a felt hat. That's too much Dave. Though exactly why this is is not known. It is related to the rule about not wearing white after Labor

Day. It is related to that. Yeah because that's a rule. You're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day. It's a dumb rule. It's a rule. Not a rule we follow. Because people wore white during the summer months and white clothes and straw hats became associated with summer and vacation and play and not a proper business atmosphere. And when summer ended you're supposed to go back to work and fucking dress for it. What a nightmare. Take your goddamn. That's my leg. Jose. That's my leg. Quote. Straw hats as stiff as a matzas like some kind of hard yellow flower bloomed annually all over the city on a certain date June 1st or so said Arthur Miller. Wow. Strat hat time differed from city to city depending on the

usual weather conditions of each region. American Hatter magazine. What. American Hatter magazine. Come on. It's a real thing. American Hatter magazine. American Hatter magazine. God. Some guy was like and they probably thought we'll never go out of business. You know how could we people love hats. It's going to be hats. They're going to want to be reading about hats for obviously different hats. Think of all the hat technology. Oh my god. Future hats. This week the ball gap. American Hatter magazine said quote before the first. What the fuck are we doing. How is this possible. How can this go wrong. Quote before the 15th of May no one except the notoriety seeker would publicly wear a straw hat. What. What does that even

mean. Some guy looking for attention. Oh OK. Would wear a straw hat before the 15th of May. So funny. Some guy was like me me me me me. But to me that means he's like if you're looking for a notary you may wear that hat. I need to get something signed by a professional. American Hatter recommended that Hatters develop strategies to tell their clients. Sorry Hatter G's. American Hatter recommended that Hatters develop Hatter G's to tell clients when it was considered socially acceptable to first put on their straw hat during the year. What. Yeah. And what strategies I couldn't find. I don't even really understand what that means. The strategies would be. Well they were just saying like ways that you sort of like tip

them off to like it's time. It's straw hat time. I mean. Hey what's up with your hat. Excuse me. It's not straw. No like that. Should I start wearing a straw hat. That's what I'm saying. OK. You could have just said that. OK. If one were to draw a straw hat after September 15th he would be met with public disapproval. You idiot. It was just not done. You dumb weirdo. This wasn't the case in Europe where a man could stroll about with a straw hat on well into the fall. Well yes but. Yeah. They're filthy pigs. They are pig people. In America the straw hat and with snow on the ground meant snowballs were headed your way. Sounds fun. Yeah. In 1899 a British tourist was visiting Philadelphia and this

fucking idiot wave broke out in late September. Oh boy. He asked the clerk at his hotel where he could buy a straw hat. Oh God. The clerk was adamant that no one in Philadelphia wore a straw hat at the end of September. I mean I am. I'm assuming Philadelphians have always been assholes. So this guy couldn't be in a worse situation. Hello. I was just a sweet little English guy looking for a straw hat at this straw hat. It's a bit warm. Is it right. Looking for a straw hat. Yeah. Look at this. Look at this hand. What's that. This hand. You should watch this one. You're punching me in the face. Get the fuck out of here. Would you mind not doing that. This guy won't die. Anyway. Keep hitting him and

he's not dying. I would like the straw hat. My God. I think he's a robot. Hat. Hat. So the clerk was adamant that no one in Philadelphia wore a straw hat at the end of September and if one did so they would be in danger. Quote. Whoa. Whether such dire results would have followed my appearance clad in the tabooed article of clothing I cannot say. He decided to wear his derby and survived. Yeah. Well that makes sense. That's a smart call. The time of year that set aside the time of year that set aside to wear certain hats. Wait did I sorry. The time of year set aside to wear certain hats weren't the only rule hat rules. Okay. What would you say. There's this when my parents first moved to America with

my brother. He was seven. Yeah. And they you know in England you have to wear like uniforms when you go to school. Yeah. And so they sent him to a public school in Cleveland. Yeah. On his first day of school in his little cap his like little tie in his little shorts. And he came back. He came back and he was been crying and my mother was like and how was school and he just goes I need new clothes. It's not good mother. Public school. Oh fuck me. It's amazing. Yeah. All right. So the hat. What were the other hat rules. Okay. There were unwritten rules for when a man was supposed to take office hat and when to keep it on. And they were no joke. No one ever wore a hat in school. The theater a private

office a gallery a church or a library. If you wore one in such an establishment you were committing a terrible offense and greatly disrespecting the establishment and the people within greatly disrespecting this. What are you doing man. Huh. Oh shit. What the fuck is on your. Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry. Let's beat the shit out of him. That's the library. Yeah. If you did not take off your. Sorry. Let's take him out back. If you did not take you off your hat in the presence of a woman you were basically an animal. Hats also they would wear animals on them. I can't really go into that. Sure. Hats were also taken off at funerals and if a religious man passed a church of his denomination he

had to take off his hat. But none of his. So not not. If a Catholic is just walking down the street. Sorry. A Catholic. If a Catholic is just walking down the street and he passes a Catholic church he has to take his hat off. And if he's not he can just walk by. You're not Catholic then. No. So I've got me a hat on. I figured because of that. By 1910 young men were grabbing their friends straw hats from their heads and smashing them underfoot end of the summer they would yell. And then what was the game in New York where people just beat punch someone in the face and knock them out. That's just winter. Yeah. That's just that's called New York. Hello. But those are our trends now. Good times were had by

all it became a ritual in the stock market exchanges. This is how one declared the passing of the straw hat season. It was fine. From a friend. But if a stranger grabbed your hat and crushed it with their boot. Well that was asking for a punch to the head. Oh yeah you're fucked. That makes sense. Yeah. In the city of Pittsburgh the attacking of strangers hats was exactly what occurred on September 14th 1910. Oh good. The Pittsburgh the Pittsburgh press reported the hat trouble. In the evening in the east end of the city an organized demonstration broke out against the wearing of straw hats so late into September. What. I mean can you imagine like organized. Can you imagine when it would be like a time when you would organize

you could look around. Hey Rudy. Hey yeah. Hey tonight we're going to go down and demonstrate against the how is. Do you ever think that maybe it's a little weird that we keep doing stuff like that. I do. Just hats. I do. Anyway. Yeah I'll see you down there. Okay. Yep. Some cities moved up the date the dates as the years went by so some people were moving the date September 15th up to like September 1st. Let's see you can't be doing that. Robin groups of young men dashed around Pittsburgh taking hats off heads and smashing them. The police were forced to intervene on several occasions to stop men from fighting after the destruction of their hats. I mean I just there's just no frame of reference. Right.

Like there's none. Like what do you. There's nothing. I mean it just it just sounds it just sounds aggressive now let alone a time. Jose. It's okay. So it's okay. Jose like Seltzer. I think we just found out that he does not like. Sneezing. Sneezing. Sneezing. The paper even said gunplay and bloodshed were a concern. I mean what the fuck. Well the hats are serious business. The press wrote quote no man likes to have his hat snatched from his head by somebody he has not yet been introduced to. That's so crazy that it's okay if you knew them and you just like no no no I met you I met you two months ago. No no I swear to God I met you two months ago. I don't think so. You know your care your

carry. I don't know your face. Your carry's cousin I swear to God I was just doing a hat joke. Hat jokes. Hat jokes. It's a great show by the way. Yeah carrot dot post on the hat network. Yeah. And if the informality should become general there will sure to be a number of obstinate gentlemen most likely with English blood in their veins. Yeah obviously. Who will coolly proceed to treat the fun making as a physical assault and defend themselves in a manner which will spoil the fun for all concerns. Translation. English people just need a reason to fight. Yeah that's what they're saying. Which is so true. Yeah. The best time to prevent such an outcome is now before it happens it is up to the police and they should

act accordingly. That's the newspaper saying that. I mean. No one is saying don't take the hats off people's heads. Well right. I guess I can't even understand. Yeah. How is that not. No one is blaming that part of the problem. Yeah. It wasn't just Pittsburgh that the straw hat smashing was becoming a problem. It was all cities and limiting the straw hat became the solution. The Lawrence Kansas paper the Lawrence Daily Journal World wrote on September 14th 1912 the man who ventures out on the streets after tonight with a straw hat on is in danger of being hauled before the bar of judgment and made to explain his conduct. September 1st is the legal limit for wearing of the summer lid but owing to the hot weather

that prevailed at that time. Mayor Bishop extended the reprieve for two weeks. That two weeks expires tonight and hereafter the felt sky piece and the cap will hold forth. Mayor Bishop has issued special orders to the police department that no mercy must be shown offenders of this decree and Marshall Myers has made it known that he will see that the rule is observed to the letter. It's goodbye to the straw hat. It was a useful article in its time but that time has passed and the cooler variety of headpiece must occupy its place in the attic. Sorry Hattuck. Hattuck. Dave we're insane. I mean because Kate like is there's just there's I don't know what the parallel is today but there's definitely a parallel that's just

I can't there's has there has to be something I mean nothing. There's nothing they're talking about bringing people into court for wearing a hat at the wrong time there's nothing. There's got to be some. There's no incorrect. Look look look we're taking it very out of context. I don't think so. Okay. Yeah. No I mean it's just I don't I'm having trouble I'm having trouble wrapping my head around it. So now they're blaming which is really a hats problem. They're really blaming the hat smashing on the hat wearer at this point. But it's it's also like who I mean how can you know how can somebody just be like why don't we all just stop giving a fuck. You know we should all just really stop being like this. Yes.

What about not giving a shit. Flood him. Flood that man. Flood the shit out of that man. Also step on his hat. Someone who doesn't know. Someone who has never met him step on his hat. Slow motion. I felt like they were smashing me. I was never the same. So follow the norms of society obviously or else if you didn't you were a marked man. And once autumn was here teenagers all across the country started yanking the hats off heads and smashing them. The Pittsburgh Stock Exchange hat smashing went on for another 10 years. So what happened what happened the Pittsburgh Stock Exchange was every year. Yeah I think we said that earlier. Mazel tov ahead. Every at the end of the at the end of the you know

the 15th. If you the next day they would all smash see I thought they were passing the hat or something like that but they are they are treating it like they're taking it off and smashing. They take it off. Yeah they mazel tov. Yeah the fucker thing. They apparently decided to change the dates because on September 16th 1921 the New York Times ran the headline quote Pittsburgh brokers to wear their straw hats until October 1st. Well that's crazy. That's not okay. I know but it was a story in the New York Times. Well as it should be Dave. It was so important that it needed to be news. Yeah of course. Front page I'd say don't bury the lead. In New York straw hat data enforcers

were getting serious and they got very serious on September 13th 1922 to be exact. On September 13th 1922 a street gang from Five Points on the lower side where the worst of the worst lived. Decided to get a couple of days jump on the straw hat end date. First they grabbed the hats of factory workers as they left their jobs. The hats were all smashed and a pretty good time was had by all. The factory workers just shrugged their shoulders and went about their evening. Okay cool. Cool fun. Then the game moved on to the docks and went after the dock workers leaving work. And dock workers are dock workers. Right. They were not down with the hat smashing and a large brawl broke out between the two groups. Sure. Sure. And

it was a big one. Oh good. So big that traffic on the Manhattan Bridge came to a halt. Large straw hat destroying gangs started roaming the city grabbing hats and attacking people. Jesus Christ. Using also using clubs with nails in them. What? That's no fun. The police had to get involved and they came in swinging their clubs and shutting it down. They made arrests and put a stop to the fighting and attacks. Eventually the riot ended during the night. What? What do you mean what? What to you? I mean. What to me? What to this time? They would have. There's a classic straw hat right. It sounded fun. It sounded fun. Straw hat riots in broil east side of the New York Times on September 14th 1922. A local magistrate

was quoted that it was the quote in a leanable right of a man to wear a straw hat in a snowstorm if he desires is to be upheld in this city by both police and the magistrates and a warning was sent with broadcast to all Strat hat smashers last night that jail terms or assault charges awaited them if they started such a carnival today. So they've been warned. I mean, they've been warned. Yeah, let them do it. You know who would not have survived this time is Jason Maraz. He would have been on a tremendous amount of trouble. But the game was on. Now more youths wanted in on the action and more men was straw hats. We're not going to be told they had to stop wearing their hats. The day before the end of straw hat stopping day was

about us. Somebody somebody not tell me to not wear my hat on the 14th. Somebody somebody be smart. Somebody just cave. September 14th was a abnormally warm day as was the evening. That meant straw hat weather straw hats galore. Yeah, OK. On the evening of September 14th, the riots increased in size. This time they spread all the way up to Amsterdam Avenue on Manhattan's West Side. There tons of men were walking about with their straw hats on thinking they were safe from the Lower East Side hordes. Well, it's got a hat in the name. They were wrong. Yeah, I bet. Quote mobs of hundreds of boys and young men terrorized whole blocks. Complaints poured in upon the police from men whose hats were stolen and

destroyed. But as soon as the police broke up the gangs in one district, the hoodlums resumed their activities elsewhere. They were performing hat and run attacks. I mean, please. It wasn't called hat and run. You've got a hat and run. We don't know who did it. That was a tip my hat to Will Anderson. A tip of your hat. Oh, God. The gangs armed with sticks that had a nail in the tip would force men wearing straw hats to run a gauntlet. Those clubs should be called the Prince Albert now that we think about it. Fuck. They would also, I can just imagine men in straw hats running a gauntlet. I just can't. It's the greatest thing. You can imagine this. To me, I need to see a drawing. Somebody needs to draw

a drawing. This should be an HBO show. Yes, yes. The boys would also hide in doorways in a group of around 10 and then rush out when a gentleman strolled by in his straw hat and attack him. On the lower west side on Christopher Street, the youths lined up alongside the train car tracks and snatched straw hats off of passengers heads as the cars went by. The Times wrote a man who said he was EC Jones, a promoter of 70 West 93rd Street, telephoned to The Times that this had happened when he was riding uptown on an Amsterdam Avenue car between 135th and 136th Street at nine o'clock last night. He said the car was attacked by a group of boys who later disappeared in a mom of about a thousand who were destroying

straw hats along Amsterdam Avenue. Jones said he complained at the police station and the mob was dispersed. A thousand. A thousand. A thousand hat destroyers. Boys and young and teenagers. Boys to men. Boys to men. ABC, BBD. Hats to top hats. Yeah. Even off duty or undercover policemen were attacked. Detective Sergeant Bryn Deasy. Wait, wait, say that again? Even off duty or undercover policemen were attacked. Undercover? Detective Sergeant Bryn Deasy was sworn by a gang in his hat thrown into the street and smashed. He chased the hoodlums but was tripped and fell face first into the gutter. He arrested the man who tripped him, who turned out to be Leo Cohen, 34, of West 50th Street. Cohen was

booked on a charge of disorderly conduct. I like that it's mostly teenagers and boys and there's a 34 year old. And then there's just tripping cops. Yeah, like a, yeah, yeah. Ah, let him be. Yeah, come on. We all have it through our hat phase. It was better to give up your hat than fight for it. Harry Gerber, 25, of East 115th Street, tried to fight off a gang trying to snatch his hat. He was badly beaten and kicked and then had to be taken to West Harlem Hospital for treatment. Who is defending the hats? Okay, here, be a kid and you want me to take my straw hat off. There's a gang around you. Hey, give me your hat, fuckface. All right, here you go. Oh, thank you. Snash. See you guys. Thanks.

The police were busy all through the evening of the forties. You and that, you would be one of these guys who would be like, fuck you. Oh yeah, you couldn't take my fucking hat. Are you shitting me? You'd be buried in the hat. You'd take my fucking eye before you take my hat. The police were trying to protect hat wearers from hat attackers. Playing closed policemen, King and LeMore were heading down 3rd Avenue when 12 boys armed with sticks charged out of doorways. The officers managed to catch eight of them and took them to the police station. Holy shit. Now that I don't know. I don't understand how that happened. I mean, they are boys. I know. So they mustn't just be like, all right, stop it. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. They were all other 15 years old, so they were not arrested. Instead, they got a lecture from one Lieutenant Lena Hand, who then sent for their parents to come and pick them up. He recommended that the parents give them a good spanking when they returned home. Yeah, right. That'll teach them how to not riot. That's right. The boys were warned that if they were caught again attacking straw hats, they would be locked up. On the dumbest charges ever. So many straw hats were destroyed that straw hat bonfires were started. Oh my God. I mean, what like it's a had a cost. It really is a had a cost. The desert news summed it up perfectly. The police were kept busy. But there was too many hats. I want to say a couple

of things. First of all, the police were kept busy because there were too many hats. But I also want to point out that the desert news used was instead of were. Come on. Who's got time for grammar when the stories this hot, but there was too many hats. There was too many hats. And they spelled two to Bobby, you see a problem with that sentence that you wrote there? Oh, there was too many hats. Exactly. Yeah. No, that's what my point is. Hopefully the readers like it. No. See you later. Okay. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. Men were brought in front of magistrate. But what does that mean that they were so distracted with hats that they had no there was just too many burning hats? People, the police were kept

busy. There were too many hats. So in other words, there were too many people wearing hats. So the police were just trying to protect everyone. Oh, so it's kind of like whack-a-mole days. Very much like whack-a-mole, but with straw hats and teenagers. Sure. Yeah. In New York, men were brought in front of magistrate Peter A. Hadding. Dave. Magistrate Hadding. Dave. He cannot try this case. Good Lord. We know who he's in the pocket of big hats. He's totally in the pocket of big hats. He's in the pocket of big hats. I mean, when I read that, I almost had. Haddington. Hadding. Hadding. Peter A. Hadding. Peter A. Hadding. Yeah. I mean, his name will smell, may as well be like, Doug, are you shitting me? The

men were fine. $5. He said, quote, it is against the law to smash a man's hat. And he has the right to wear it in a January snowstorm if he wishes. I already said that. To hit a man's hat is a simple assault. And in this court, it will be treated as such. And I want you to spread this word among all who would smash hats. Yeah. A man's hat is just as much his property and just as much to be defended as his watch. Wait a minute. We can start getting the watches. The watches and the hats. A few men who could not afford the $5 fine spent time in jail. Oh my God. Hat shops were packed with men without hats because this was still a time when it was unheard of to be without a hat. Men without hats also a great thing.

So they would get their hat smashed and then they would run straight to the hat. Like it's an emergency. Yeah. So the hat or was. All right, hold on. Settle down. Did you not just leave your house in a hurry? I'm very scared. Okay, sit down. Terry, get the washcloth. Get the washcloth and bring it in here. I don't know who I am. I don't know who I am. Your name's Harry. Your name's Harry. You're a regular guy. No, no, you're fine. Come on. Put your head in my bosom. Put your head in my bosom. All right. We're going to get you a hat. We're going to get you a hat. We're going to get you a backup hat. All right. Get you whatever you want. You're going to have so many hats. You're not going to know

what to do, buddy. You're going to have some. No, no, no, no, no. Don't get sad. No, no, no, no, no. You have so many hats. Get the goddamn hats. The riots eventually calmed down partly due to the fact that September 15th passed and most of the straw hats were put away. Yeah, people were like, all right, well, we're good. No one was killed, but many people were wounded. Future September saw more hat attacks, but never on the scale of the straw hat riot of 1922. Hattacks. Many Hattacks. In 1925, President Calvin Coolidge violated straw hat etiquette, wearing his hat after the dreaded end date. God. When was he assassinated? The New York Times wrote about it, but no one in DC snatched the hat

from his head and smashed it because he was the president. Right. So eventually the rules of fashion became less. Imagine if Obama was the president back then, how quickly that had to be taken off of his fucking head. Got it off him. Eventually, the rules of fashion became less extreme and the depression came and with it, people's concerns shifted from hat etiquette to finding food. Straw hats can now be worn whenever you want. God damn right. Or can they? They can be. On the next dollar. Is it possible that Lincoln was just killed in some sort of hat controversy? We don't know. We could have been. I mean, I know we've talked about it. We actually do know, but was he wearing a hat inside? I think I always

pictured him with the hat. I always picture him with a hat on too. And I bet he wasn't. I mean, the person behind him was like, excuse me, Abraham. Yes. Can I I'm actually unable to see the stick with all. Is there any way you could take your? Could you take the hat? President? Absolutely. You keep it on, sir. Get me Wilkes Booth. Thank you for listening to the dollop. You can find us at the dollop on Twitter. You can email us suggestions for topics at the dollop podcast at Gmail. We're also on Facebook, the dollop. We have a Reddit subreddit, the dollop. You can give to our Patreon. Go to Patreon and you can set up a donation or you can do it one time or I think if you want to use our Amazon affiliate,

which also gets us money, you can find that link at the dollop sources or you can find that link at on our Facebook page, which is funny because every time I say, we bring up the Patreon page, people go in and reduce their weight. This is they reminded that they're doing it. They're like, Oh God, I got to get rid of that. So it's the opposite plug? Yeah, right now, every time we say it, we're losing money. That's amazing. It's pretty great. It makes me laugh. That's amazing. Well, and then Patreon, Patreon people, all the stuff from the first round, remember when it got me the information in October, I think they just went out last week. So you guys should be getting all of your Patreon rewards soon.

And then I'll do that. Whoa, Jose just knows he's buying that too. And then the next round will go out soon. I'll send everyone. If you are a Patreon subscriber and you're getting a reward, send me what reward you want. Go look at the stuff on Astoy merchandise, the posters and the shirts and tell me about shirt size you want and all that good stuff. Send that through the Patreon. Also, like it on iTunes and subscribe and leave comments that are positive. And you know what else? So the Kickstarter, so we've been we've been recording the 10 minute kick starters and going through. Yeah. And then I'm also in the middle of doing the album. And then Kickstarter just says my account doesn't exist, which is really cool.

That's cool. Yeah, so you should start a Kickstarter to get to bottom of that. It's fucking insane. So bother Kickstarter and say what the fuck you doing. Yeah, we should go to punch finisher. That's a good one. Punch finisher. I'm a hack. Okay. Gary's a hack.