The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 134 - The Past Times with Drew Morgan

Episode Date: July 18, 2025

Dave Anthony reads a paper to co-host Gareth Reynolds and comedian Drew Morgan SOURCES OFFICIAL MERCH TOUR DATES

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Well, look, we've said this over and over again, but if you want to know if we really do like Squarespace, go look at any website we're affiliated with and it is Squarespace. Oh yeah, look, they have flexible payments. You can just make the... Flexible employees too. Those people are... It's weird. Okay. You can make the whole checkout experience seamless, very simple, very powerful. They do credit cards, Apple Pay, all the stuff, PayPal.

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I feel like we shouldn't have you on this. Okay, keep going. And if you're a business, you can manage your clients and invoices, vetting and receiving payment. Am I allowed to speak? Because I think that's a good point. No. Go to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com

slash dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I'm gonna say it again go to squarespace.com for a free trial. When you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. All right, everybody. Welcome to the Past Times Podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked up by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week. The great Drew Morgan. Thank you for joining us, Drew. Thank you for having me, Drew. Thank you for having me. Hello, fellas. We're very, you're now, like you said before, we've completed the trifecta.

We've had Trey, we've had Corey, who's just a Tasmanian devil to work with. It must be tough for you. He's a problem. And now we have you. Yeah, he makes it easier and harder. Yeah, he's had all of the well-read guys now at this point. Corey is definitely, you know, podcasting or live or improv type stuff. That's definitely his forte. He's the loosest cannon. He is the loosest cannon, the biggest cannon. Yeah.

The biggest cannons. Trey's more the guy yelling in the truck guy. Yeah. Um uh. Tray's more of the guy yelling in the truck guy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they're very good at the internet and I'm more of a dish best served live and uh you know, I've I've known that about myself for a while now. Well, speaking of which, if people want to see you live, they can go to Drew Morgan Comedy.com. You'll be in Knoxville. Uh. I'll be in Knoxville next month.

Next month, and then where else are you going? I'll be in Denver in July. I have a two-year-old and I'm sort of almost two-year-old. I sort of promised myself to be off the road as much as possible, so I'm going to be touring next year. He's almost two and it's great. You feel like when the child's three, you can be an absent father. Is that sort of what the-

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to go out for cigarettes and come back at the end of this weekend at Chuckle Fox. Yeah, I do think that actually. I mean, it's a joke, but yeah, I think if you get the first three years right, that's what Gabor Montes has. He's the smartest man I've ever met.

I haven't even talked to my dad, so I don't know. Go ahead, Dave. your dad passed away. What were you going to say? Now your hat says Virginia is for losers. Lovers. Losers. Losers. Interesting.

It's a Virginia is for lovers. It's a gay hat. That's a rainbow right there. Gay fan gave me that. Had it on at Chick-fil-A yesterday. Walked in kind of thinking, hmm, wonder if I get any eyes. Wonder if I get any judgments. I did from a gay couple.

Only people who noticed, they were looking at me like, ally, huh? Why are you buying this chicken? Bitch, why are you buying this chicken? Let's just not tell each other. Nobody tattle. No, I think they were looking at me like, I don't think you're gay. Where'd you get that hat? Yeah. looking at me like, I don't think you're gay. Where'd you get that hat? Yeah. It is interesting how Chick-fil-A did people decide it was so delicious that they were able to overcome the fact that they were basically like no gays. Yeah. I'm going to be honest, not that delicious. Well, Dave's dumb. I also want to say on top of that, I would argue, Gareth,

who I'm only exclusively talking to now about this topic, it got better. It was better when it was against the rules. Interesting. You know what I mean, little Shane had built. Yeah, oh, so they didn't actually step up with recipes. It just kind of felt naughtier. Yeah, it felt naughty.

Right, still the same food. Well, good for you. Do you want to know the only thing I eat from there? The kale salad the kale salad. I didn't want to know I thought I might I was like Why'd you do that double down? You don't even like the fries do you just hate peanut oil is that what it is I just yeah, I don't know I yeah, I just my kid my kid loves it, so I take him there, but I just get the kale salad. I enjoy the kale salad. I usually order two and throw it in the bowl.

Yeah, we can hear the joy in your voice when you describe how much. Well, it's funny because you're only a voice and the picture you're frozen on is sort of a quizzical like, hmm, I don't understand how things work. So I don't know why, but I can see him. It's just blurry. Like, I like, it's not... Oh, see, I just have a picture. So I've got a big foot blurred out. You know, I just really enjoy the kill. I think you'd like my experience.

It's it's I think better. But listen, we're not here to suck Spectrum's dick and talk about how great they are. And real quick, Drew, your other podcast, you have another podcast. I have a podcast with the hilarious and great Carmen Morales and our good buddy DJ Lewis called Gravy Baby. And the concept there, we call it Good Vibes for Trash People. You've heard of toxic positivity. This is positive toxicity.

Our goal is to talk about stuff that brings us joy, but without any, eat, pray, love bullshit. And I gotta say, last few months been a tough gig. I wonder why. For the rough go of it. I'm not sure why. Yeah. It didn't seem fine. But the concept of the idea was like dickhead comedians

getting into the space of joy. So it's not just like ephemeral looking white women who whisper, you know what I mean? Like us. Yeah. Like the show when you're not on. Basically, we were all sad and we were like, hey, we want a podcast where we don't end up going into the abyss every week.

Let's make ourselves talk about what makes us happy. And since we're all kind of curmudgeoning, it's been fun. You know, that's very similar to why we started The Past Times. We were like, the dollop is so depressing, but we find a way to make this one depressing as well. It's really a skill somehow. It's a little lighter. Well, get ready to jump in the deep, Andrew. You're about to get past-timed. So, we will start by guessing what year this paper is from. I don't have any idea. I do think you'll go first. And I do think that you'll be closest in the eyes of Dave, who has some mental issues that he sort of has manifested into this part

of the show. Nobody really cares for it. It's just strange and whatnot. But why don't you go ahead and guess a year true. Go ahead for it. Okay. What a dynamite intro to the concept that was. Thank you. Thank you, Gareth. No, it's great. We did this because we were sad. It sucks. Dave's nuts. I told him before we started, I was going to attack them both. I don't think they believed me. No, we did. We did. I'm going to go... I think it's a little later. What if you just left? I just froze. I held it. I'm going to go...

I'm going to go 19. I think it's a slightly more current. I know you guys go far back sometimes. I'm going to go 1952. That's interesting. I do like it. I like that guess. Do you? Shut up. I'm going to go 1952. Mm-hmm. That's interesting. I do like it. I like that guess. Do you? Shut up. I'm going to go, uh...

Wrong. 1888. Wrong. So wrong. It's 1909. Mm. So you would say that I would... So 19. So Gareth loses because Drew's in the 19s. And that's... Told you. ...how... But that was the rules going in. So... I told you. Yeah. Congratulations, Drew. Let the 19s. And that's how... Told you. But that was the rules going in. I told you.

Yeah. Congratulations, Drew. I see now. Yep. See what I'm talking about, Drew? Today's winner is getting a car. Yeah, it's not like a precious right thing where I went over so I'm automatically done. No.

We don't do that here. Not so crazy now, am I? Happy 19s. All right, Dave. What are we dealing with? This is the Trenton Evening Times, Trenton, New Jersey, January 21st, 1909. So they were always doing evenings too. Because every time we go through these papers, there's not enough.

It's so boring, but they were like, it's got to be morning and evening. Yeah, it's very common to do morning and evening papers. That's interesting. All the way up until 1990 or so. and evening. Yeah, it's very common to do morning and evening papers. That's interesting. All the way up until like 1990 or so, like that was the thing. Oh, wow. So in 1909, Trenton had a morning and an evening paper.

That's kind of crazy to me. Yes. It's crazy because I don't think right now Trenton would have enough news for a paper. Oh, well, it's, yeah, that's true. But remember, newspapers is all they had. Yeah. At all.

Like this is like their CNN. All right. Well, why don't at the end of this, we will decide if this evening edition was necessary or not. And I'm going to I'm going to go ahead and guess that it wasn't. Okay, this headline, Flying Hoof. Yep, I can already kind of weigh in and say that this wasn't a necessary paper.

This story's very long. Citizens tell of seeing the tracks. Trail leads right up to the houses, and this is all the headlines and sub-headlines. Trail leads right up to the houses and then disappears as though he or she, or whatever The thing is has taken flight into the realms of space

Now what we sang earth I Mean I didn't think we'd start off with Narnia shit damn what a banger It's the news Someone tracking it when the footprints go there. Just like then it turned into an orb and went to Saturn most likely well can we get a date other than the year is this a Christmas gag January 21st this is the fucking news in Trenton pretty good so far that what is, a winged beast? The quote, flying hoof, so that's the name of this. We're tracking Pegasus. Is on its or her or his way to Trenton. Scary.

Very much like the Santa tracker, just now that we've got the Christmas vibe out there. There are evidences that the route selected is more or less circuitous, but the mystery Jersey Devil is surely in this neighborhood. Now I am lost. You've never heard of the Jersey Devil? I've heard of the Jersey Devils, the hockey team.

Okay, but they're based, they're named after the Jersey Devil. Which is like a, like a what, like a Mothman type deal? Yes. I mean, it's okay. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of close. Let me look it up. What's the word for that?

In South Jersey and Philadelphia folklore in the US, the Jersey Devil, also known as the Leeds Devil, is a legendary creature or cryptid said to inhabit the forest of the Pine Barres Of South Jersey is often described as a flying biped with hooves, but there are many variations And that's what then that's what the hockey team is named after Well, there you go. Okay Cryptid that was the word I was looking for Okay Cryptid, that was the word I was looking for. Sure. Okay, 1909, Jersey Devil. I feel like 1909 is too late in the game to be this superstitious on the front page of

the paper. This is a rag. I agree. I agree and I also fear how soon it will be before Trump, like we're talking about it again. Oh yeah. Cryptids. Yeah, it's already, but now, did the CIA exist in 1909? Now we can throw

that element into it. Now it would be like, well, tell you what the New Jersey devil is, it's an op. Yeah. It's Paraguay. Yeah. But cryptid is also a little too close to crypto, so don't worry, there's going to be some cryptid coin. There's a lot of fears. Dude, I'd invest in Mothman coin. Yep You're on Coinbase, how's Moth doing? Moth keeps going down. Did you the the red eyes could light up when it's doing well, that would be enough for me I'm already in fuck doge In fact the footprints of the wonderful Air Hoss leads Satan and winged dog as it has been variously described by different persons. This is the first article in the paper, winged dog or Satan.

Is it? If you saw a winged dog or Satan would be top journalism. If you saw it, it feels like this guy. Okay, but I'm just saying if somebody's like, there's a winged dog, you would be top journalism. I think that's fair. If you saw it, it feels like this guy. Okay, but I'm just saying if somebody's like, there's a winged dog, you'd be like, yeah, or Satan. Yeah. That's fair. I'm not knocking them on that one. If real include for sure.

It's been described by different persons claiming to have actually seen the species are already discoverable at the White City Park. And last evening, it's tracks in the rear yard of the home of Harry climber in Yardville fake names They were in a yard in Yardville. Yeah, the whole thing's fake. Yeah Guys, I can't believe you guys this isn't Dave wrote this and I got tired at the end

He was like fucking Yardville, I guess. Well, Harry Clymer is also another name for Sasquatch. Thank you. That's a good point, actually. Everything's coming together. Now you guys see. So while the hoof seems only to be- I'm trying to teach you guys.

Okay. So while the hoof seems only to be flirting with us now, the residents in the neighborhood... I love a hoof flirt. When a girl puts her hoof in your crotch. I love a hoof flirt. The residents in the neighborhood of the state hospital in Cadwallader Park are momentarily expecting its appearance. So people are... So they're waiting. They're waiting. They're out watching, waiting for the Jersey Devil. You can find the winged dog and the devil aren't going to, they don't love crowds. You don't know that. Maybe they didn't know that in 1909. Maybe they hadn't learned how private Bigfoot was.

So private. Maybe this turns into the Jersey Devil attacking a crowd and killing many. I feel like we would have heard of it though. I don't know about that. That's the world's first hockey riot. Yeah. Mm-hmm. It's not like you heard a lot about the Mothman until the movie came out. You didn't know about it. It killed so many people.

I knew about it because I'm from Appalachia, but I understand your point. It's well made, well taken. Pfft. I think a little too sweet of a reaction, but all right, Drew. Earlier this morning came news of a suspicious presence of tracks in the snow at Groveville. William McCammoyle, employed at the Trenton offices of the United Revolving Door Company.

So they got the word. The United Revolving Door Company. The fucking what? The United Revolving door company. I just. I just want to point out that you guys had a bigger reaction to the United revolving door company than the wing devil. Yeah.

It sounds way more made up. That's how fucked up America is right now. A company that makes one thing and it's in the title? It's not a company. Revolving door. Companies are now called like, you know, Darkface or whatever, and what they do is buy up all the houses so we can't afford to live in them anymore. The United revolving door.

This is a Dick Tracy episode. Oh my God. You're talking about big door. Big doors in on this. The monopoly. Now I know who's behind this flying dog. A United revolving door company. What do you guys do? We make the door goes around.

We make concrete. So William had his attention called to the strange weird prints and upon investigation declared that the flying hoof had surely arrived. Okay, so let's see a little more evidence. Not a cloven hoof. Quote, I recognize the tracks from those reproduced in the papers. So he's like a science guy. Is he? Yeah, he's seen reproduced in the papers. So he's like a science guy.

Is he? Yeah, he's seen the tracks in the newspapers. So he is. So the guy who works for the door company is our expert. Yeah, that's right. And where he gets his facts from are from the paper. I don't mind that part. I do when it comes to winged dogs.

No, permission denied. Don't even ask. Because and the guest is hostile. No, what drew is on your side. First of all, it's going to be hostile. Jesus Christ. By the way, everyone listening, this is why I said I was going to be hostile because they were already acting like this.

That was my motivation. I was like, all right, I'm just going to attack you both because you keep acting like this. Smart. It doesn't seem like you're for lovers though. And there is no mistaking- It says losers. Losers. It's genius for losers. And there is no mistaking them. They took, sorry, they looked to me as if the hoof was that of a young colt, not a cloven hoof as I've heard of it's being described.

And there are spaces for a hundred feet or more between the regular steps in the snow, suggesting beyond a doubt that the visitor flies. Science! Damn, you didn't leave any room for it being a hundred feet long? Nope. No, didn't. Nope. for it being a hundred feet long Nope, no didn't nope invisible in a hundred feet long No, just every now and then he's got to stop he flies for is so like a duck flight like a bound Suggestion is that the Jersey Devil is like a snake like a really long serpent creature

Who are you talking to with me nervous or insuating that. With one hoof that drops down? He's just asking me why, why I would even bring up the idea that it was a hundred feet long, I don't know. I think for comedic effect, but I'll do that again. My fault. But again, I think we're picturing more of like a millipede or like a caterpillar, just with longer space legs, because if it was a snake, you would see belly prints.

Yeah. Okay. See, I like where you're like wiener dog. No, yeah. Much like yes, exactly. By the way, the absolute worst dog in the world. Absolute worst dog. The wiener dog? Whoever's listening to this, whoever's editing this podcast should know that the wiener dog is the worst dog ever, Alex. Dave, I don't even think you've seen his license plate. What's his license plate? His license plate is, I'm not kidding, Weens.

Weens. Oh my God. Are you kidding? I saw him one day and I was like, no, I saw him one day and I was like, check out that idiot. And he was like, that's my car. Jesus Christ. Are you okay? I hate it when that happens. Yeah.

He does get very mad when I say how bad of a dog the wiener dog is. I'm going to be honest, I was going to defend wiener dogs, but now I don't want to be on that side. No, you don't want to be on the side of Alex. You know what it's like, it's literally how I feel about guns. I like, I grew up in the South, I kind of like guns, but then I hear the pro-gun people talk and I'm like, well I'm not gonna let anybody know that I feel anything that those people have ever been. That's a bit much isn't it?

Yeah, look at his license plate. It's actually literally the same. Yeah, I like wiener dogs but I'm not gonna enable this man. Yeah. I won't validate this insanity. Seen in White City, the following message on a postal explains the appearance of the hoof prints at the White City. Dear editor, in regard to the curious hoof prints seen in different parts of New Jersey, I thought I would let you know that there are as far up as the White City. Charles-

It makes sense that this was happening in the White City. Yeah, of course. Yep. Charles Stupanese and myself were going over some muskrat traps. Nice. This is just- Dave, can you read it like just after silent films ended the first Halkies? Can you do that kind of voice? I don't know if we can. Me and Charles Musgrave are up in the white city

and there was hoofs on the ground, 100 feet apart, biggest of the fucking moon. Looking for Musgrave prints, they were following it up. An apple teeth. Charles Stupadezi and myself were going over some muskrat traps on Sunday and saw the hoof prints in the snow muskrat traps we met a man from the revolving door company and followed them up he said they were having trouble retaining employees

for some reason he said the whole whole establishment is like in and out. And followed them up for about a mile and gave it up. My friend saw them again Monday in the White City grounds and followed them again, but had to give it up for a bad job. I have never saw anything like it before. Yours respectfully, Clarence. And this is in the snow, obviously. It's January, we're in New Jersey. That's right. That's right.

Yeah. That's right. Otherwise you wouldn't see it. It would just be, you know, grass, right? In the summertime you don't see the Jersey Devil prints. There might be a march in New Jersey in 1909. I don't know, man. I mean, New York, the city is sinking because they built it on a wetland. And it looks like they're going to elect a socialist. Fucking. Oh wow. Sinking.

Sinking. Like the cost of rent finally. That's disgusting. I think, I think we can move beyond the notion, well maybe not. How do you guys feel about it? This many eyewitnesses,

and since it's a newspaper, not a situation of the television, although I don't know, this story clearly came out weeks after people have been talking about this. So what do you guys think? Is everyone full of shit or is this a prank? Yes. No, these are dated January 20th and then this one is January 19th. So these are all the past couple of days that people saw. I think it's some, some liars at the top. And then it's really easy to get a bunch of idiots to be like, I seen it too. I agree with that. But I'm wondering if there was ever a hoax or a weird thing that happened

that started this. Like was the Genesis something interesting? You know, it started as someone saying the Jersey Devil. That's a good point. I do like let's go back to that opening. Didn't it say something like this is clearly something that has related to the New Jersey Devil, but it wasn't calling it the New Jersey Devil.

Did they already prove that the New Jersey Devil can't fly? They are saying that's hilarious by the way that the devil can't fly. Oh, anyone going east? They're not saying it's not real. They're just saying that there's now evidence. That's how God kicked him out of heaven, dude. Like if he could fly, he just would have taken off somewhere other than hell.

No, he's in Jersey. Oh God, I miss hell. Riverside story, a correspondent of the Times in Riverside sends the following. This city has joined the South Jersey towns in the What Is It stir? Is this whole fucking thing about this fake bullshit? Yeah, what do you mean fake bullshit? We're trying to fucking, Jesus Christ, open your fucking mind. I am. The Unknown Animal.

The Izzy to come on my podcast and talk about what makes you happy. My God. We literally would not know what to do with ourselves. The unknown animal believed by local residents to be a one legged. I told you I told you. Shut the fuck up. He's got one leg. What's what? He's just a hopper. One hundred feet. One-legged! Shhh, what, he's just a hopper? 100 feet hopper?

A one-legged, one-footed bird has been lurking about the city the past 36 hours, though never seen, its tracks are found mainly about small buildings and chicken coops. Okay, so we're narrowing down its habitat. It's a one-legged bird that can fly. Okay, here's my question. People who worked for the paper in 1909,

do they not know what the fuck a bird track looks like? My son knows what a bird track looks like. If I walk my son out in the woods and I'm like, what the hell's up with this bird track every hundred feet? He's gonna be like, it's a bird. It can fly. He's not gonna be like, I don't know. I think it might be the devil, dad. Well, how many of those birds had hooves that your son saw? That's what I'm saying. Who the fuck said it was a hoof? If it is a bird, who looked at a bird track and was like, that looks like a hoof. The people of Jersey who know.

Yep. Seems like you're running out of argument, Dave. Of Joseph Mann's, and next morning he found his pup dog dead. His pup dog. Pup dog. Nobody's happy a pup dog's dead. But what does that have to do with the price of eggs? nobody's happy a pup dogs dead. But what does that have to do with the price of eggs? Yeah, leaving that sounds like a sonic treat.

Believing that he was the victim of his testimony in a recent assault scandal, he reported the matter to Justice Ziegler who detail reporting this to a judge who sent Officer Borton to investigate. I'm Officer Borton. Quote, man's declared that the culprit- Officer Borton shot the devil. Jesus, you're just- Yeah, if this would have happened in the South,

we'd have got some sick songs out of it at least. Oh yeah. Man's declared the culprit wore small horseshoes on his shoes, the tracks of which he found all about the place, even on the top of the building. Well. What? I have a theory.

That's a lie? No, this is my theory. I trust Borton. Borton's a good man. He's going to make detective next year. I stand with Borton. I think that whatever event caused this bird to lose its leg, it also lost part of its other foot so that it doesn't look like a normal bird track.

Interesting. Very interesting theory. I like it. Is it? Yep. Later the justice was- Yeah, it fucking was, Gareth. Yes, It was Christ Just none of you little mopey bitch

Later the justice was startled to find similar tracks in his backyard and he in that line six plaster molds He made six plaster molds Jesus Christ the tracks were made in a single yet exact line resembling those of a small pony. The plot thickens. I literally, I literally, I can't even track the story about the tracking of whatever this is. The plot thickens. No it doesn't. There's no plot. It is meaty and thick. Is plaster a common thing in 1909? I guess it's like how they made their walls. It has no plot. It is meaty and thick. Is plaster a common thing in 1909?

I guess it's like how they made their walls. It's just like a strange thing. They're like, hey, the depression's coming up, but I can just waste some materials on this fucking pony bird. Well, this is back when this is the roaring tens almost. I mean, this is plaster. Everyone had fuck you plaster at this point. Yeah, it's true. The plaster is not where we should be Yeah, well the plaster the plaster is it's look it's an issue, but it's also tracking on top of a building now We're just talking about I mean it really feels like what we've determined in the paper is that this could be anything The impressions about half an inch in the snow We're about two and a half inches long

and arc one and a quarter inches wide. All day long, crowds of persons thronged the Squire's premises and visited his office to view the molds. A murder could hardly produce more excitement." So people are fucking... This is big. That's the standard? Missing a murder?

Yeah. Man, 1909. Suck, dude. This is exciting, man. Hey, did you hear there was a murder? Let's get the fuck out of here. I don't want to see the devil. Someone got killed. This is almost as fun as the murder last year. Man, how great is a murder? I recently went to visit my buddy Phil in Ontario a little while ago. And he was like, oh yeah, just come over, stay at my place. And I was like, buddy, love ya, but probably not gonna do that. So I ended up booking an Airbnb in the village of Chippewa right on the well land, I believe canal.

And yeah, it was awesome. I had like, there's like a little dock, there were big windows, the whole nature meets city vibe. It was perfect. By day three, like Phil was like, can I crash here? And I was like, no, you have a home. But he did.

And that's really when it hit me that someone had to be hosting this place that they weren't even there, but they're making money while we're just sitting out on the dock drinking coffee, watching geese, having a good laugh with each other. So if you've got the space, it's a practical way to earn some extra cash to you know go towards whatever car payments, cat food, groceries, whatever without it taking over your life. It's flexible, it's on your schedule and it works around your lifestyle.

Whether you're at home or you're off visiting your own fill in another city. So if you've ever thought about hosting your own place this is your sign. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. The dollop is brought to you by Squarespace. Oh, Dave. Our friends forever. We've been using Squarespace forever.

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of a website or domain. It's pretty good, dude. I love a good murder. Gloucester couples see it. Nelson Evans of that city and his wife Bella have come forward to tell of seeing the strange beast at 2 o'clock in the morning. So they saw it, Gareth. It's been seen.

Did they? Did they? What are these fucking people doing out too in the morning? That's not decent. Not decent. Well, Mr. Evans is a paper hanger and living on Mercer Street in the domain of the Duke of Gloucester. He is in a church. He's a church member. Literally, what is happening with everything? Church member.

What is this, a royal? So is his wife. They go to church, Gareth. Yeah, the Duke of Gloucester is a paper hanger? Neither of them. The paper hanger lives in the quarters, the Duke of Gloucester is a paper hanger. Neither of them may bring it lives in the quarters of the Duke of Gloucester. Correct. God, which I thought 1909 we were done with that shit. I thought that was kind of like the whole point of us but maybe I'm no. Neither of them ever even tasted Applejack. Miss Evans tells her strange experience in these words.

The wrestler? I think he's saying that they're on the straight and narrow. They're not fucking Applejacking around. He's saying they're not drunk? Is that what you're getting at? I think so. These two have never tasted Applejack. Never even had a sniff of it.

I like that you made Applejack a guy because it would be great if he popped up and argued, that's not true, man. You tasted me last year. It was in the summer. I was having an affair with Applejack. I'm begging a lot of the wives. Okay, Mrs. Evans telling of her strange experience.

There was a strange noise in the yard. It sounded like a clatter of pots on a stove as if somebody was throwing them down. Nobody got their story straight. I poked my elbow into Mr. Evans' side and whispered to him, Nels, get up quick. Something is wrong in the yard. My husband got out of bed and saw something on the shed roof. He called me and I went to the window, something about two feet high and running around out there on two feet.

The devil's tiny. At first I was scared and stepped back from the window, but I looked out again and got a good view of it. It made no noise at all until it began flapping its wings and then it sounded, Seize! Seize! Seize! just like this muffled sound a wood saw makes when it strikes a rotten place. While I was looking, the animal roost on its wings and flew away. It wasn't a pony, for it walked on two legs.

I saw something like arms by its breast, but it was too dark to make out play me. It wasn't a kangaroo, for it had feathers. I could see that on the side toward the light, and it had wings and long necks. Its face was just like the face of a horse. Oh my God. Terrifying! Dude, I realize you guys don't give a fuck about Mothman, but like literally this is

how Mothman started to... Really? I think people hadn't seen shit back then and sometimes there was a new bird. Yeah. Because even in her descriptions you can tell they have no reference points. It probably was a chicken. They're like, what did it sound like? Pots and pans?

That's because that's all that lady's ever owned. I mean to say it sounded like pots and pans. I know two sounds, my husband and pots and pans. And it wasn't at all my husband. It sounded like a wood saw. A wood saw going into a mold. I remember hearing one when I was a little girl, one time. We're trying to limit her sounds.

Although she did throw kangaroo in there. Where the fuck did that come from? I don't know. I've seen drawings of kangaroos. Like that's probably, cause people are, if you go to Australia, you're like, what the fuck? And you start drawing. She's like, it wasn't a kangaroo.

We know, lady. It had feathers. So it definitely wasn't a kangaroo if that's what you're thinking. I know what you guys are thinking. It's definitely an Australian marsupial in the middle of the New Jersey winter. But guys, it wasn't.

That's probably where it put all of its pots and pans in its little pouch. Yep. And I had an idea. He should join the revolving door company. They could expand. Pouches, pots, pans and doors. I seen him on the roof and he sounded like a bunch of pots

and pans on his hind legs and he was about two feet tall. I think it was a bus boy. Cross River too. Hoof Prince found in Philadelphia where we're inspecting. Is this whole goddamn paper just about this fucking bullshit? By person who examined the tracks in Woodbury, Gluester, and Westville so now someone's looking at all the cluster. Gloucester. They said that unquestionably the marks were made by the creature that on the east side of

the Delaware is called the Jersey Devil. Ooh, plot thickens. Mr. Oh, sorry, Dr. J.F. Zindel, no, he's a mister. Osteopathist living at, whatever, 21st Street, Philadelphia. An osteopath is about to weigh in on the prince. That's right. As a doctor, this is definitely a devil. Declared yesterday that he had found the trail

in his backyard on the top of his shed and roof of his house. Oh, so it's a real shed hopper. It's flop, flapping and flying around. Flapping and flopping and flying around two feet tall on its hind legs, shed hopping. Sounding like pots and pans. W.H. Cantrell, also in Philadelphia, led some reporters to his backyard and there are hoof prints on the south side of the house and run into directions as if the visitor

flew a little way and then began to walk again. Now, quote, now, now I have to talk about this. All the fellows at the office will be laughing at me but the tracks are there sure enough. I wager too that the thing that made the trail walked on two legs. I noticed the hoof prints on Monday and wondered at it then." Fascinating. It's fascinating. Stop talking for a while Dave. Mr. Cantrell's backyard has a high fence around it and the gate at the alley is always locked. Explain that, Reynolds. It's just a fucking,

there's just a whole bunch of bullshit. Someone got into the gate. That's your scientific. That was dynamite, Gareth. Just shitting on all of our theories all day long and that's what you came up with? Bunch of bullshit? It was a revolving door.

Bunch of bullshit. It was a revolving gate. That's pretty good. It was a revolving gate, that's pretty good. It's a revolving gate. Oh man. Burlington, really scared. From Burlington comes a dispatch to the effect that the devil's footprint's mystery has become a very real terror to that vicinity.

The devil's footprint mystery. I like how the paper just is getting more and more like, by the way, these things we were speculating, now facts. And this is in the same paper. It's not like four weeks later that they're like, now we're a little more nervous. And later in the paper, they're like, we're now convinced after reading the top of our paper.

I hope someone commits a murder soon so we can stop hearing about this. I have a bad feeling this is it. I have a bad feeling this whole evening edition is just this and ads. Has become a very real terror to that vicinity with the discovery that practically no part of the city and surrounding countryside has been immune to visits

of the uncanny creature of creatures, which have been stirring all over South Jersey. Old men who remember the days when the Leeds Devils scared lonely communities of the county believe this terror has returned. It took a long time off, but the devil's back. This is a common thing. People were so bored.

Man, I'm glad we have smartphones. While black settlements of the area... Here we go. ...said the marks of those of what they term flying death. Interesting. So the people who are not white have also a description for it. They even agree, right? Yeah. Yeah. I do like the twist. They're like, no, that's just death, honey. It's like, that's all that is.

We don't have to compare it to a dog or a kangaroo. Death is huge. No. But I also think that they probably were like, you know what? If white people are seeing a devil, we've been seeing it for a while too. Let's just agree with them. They're like, you know, we've seen a terrible devil. He's got no moral compass and will do anything to punish. And they were like, yep. Right. We saw that.

Yeah. We saw that. Up in White City? It's the one telling us about the devil. Yeah. Up in White City? Death. You're talking about death?

Did yours look like a kangaroo but without feathers? Sure. Whatever you want me to say. Whatever gets you out of here fastest. Undoubtedly, the Beast Bird that made the tracks were numerous as they vary in different spots from the size of the horse's hoof, but two inches in diameter. Even the largest, however, lead through fence holes less than two feet high. Wow. Wow.

I love how it has to go through the fence. This fucking, the devil is like, I can almost fit through here. We learned a lot. Did we? Yeah, we did, we learned a lot. I feel very scholarly. I mean, basically you just took a science course.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. I mean, basically, you just took a science course. Yep. Gareth, I need you to believe in science more. I am feeling relief that we might be done with this part of the dumbest paper we've so far had. I listen to a couple of episodes, and you say that every episode. I don't think you should think that's a theme. You're like, this paper is stupid. Yeah.

Yeah. They don't know shit. No, I know. And that's stupid to me. Yeah. They're out there bloodletting to get over the blues. Also stupid. I agree.

It is more interesting though than like, you know, whatever's going on in my town right now. I bet if I brought it in my town's newspaper right now, you, Gareth, would be like, our papers from back in the day are better. I agree. It's not that they're not entertaining, but they are insanely stupid. Yeah, those go hand in hand a lot in this country. It's good to know that that is might be our culture going back to at least 1909. Stupid people being verbose. I was thinking about how I know I'm biased. I do wish this was in a southern town just so our voices could have been but I would I would have loved to gone with the wind.

I did do a southern voice earlier. It's a yeah, it was stupid and your prejudice. So that's what you did. I don't know. That's right. You're like a dumbass. Let me's a... Well, yeah, it was stupid and you're prejudiced. So that's what you did on it. That's right. You're like, a dumbass? Doesn't make him sound like Drew. Oh, okay. It's Drew's people.

Yeah. Yeah. In New Jersey. It's okay. You guys have it. In 1909. You guys know how famously there were so many Southerners in New Jersey in 1909? Walking around talking to newspaper reporters.

This map was weird back then. Stop. Jersey was basically South. And then Mason Nixon weighed in on the controversy. Oh, it's the guy they named it after. Have you guys considered not being dipshits? Yeah. Who thought Dave was going to come to my rescue, Drew?

It would've been a little irritating. rescue. He was afraid I was gonna think of his dumb ass, you know, his brain. People really can hang on to that, whoever this. It would be a little irritating, right, to live in a place in the country where everyone's just like, this is the voice for dummies. Even the Simpsons has that character where they're like, all of a sudden there's this other guy. Everyone has that character. I have that that everyone does. That's what's funny about Corey, like roaming around the forest near his house, like being like, let me tell y'all why the Republicans have fully shit the bed again. And here's like, easy, Corey.

You're easy now, boy. You don't want to be forest liberling. Maybe it was just Corey jumping around the woods in New Jersey. Drunk. Yeah. After doing four podcasts. It looked like a kangaroo. Yeah, he's just like, I raised $4,000 for homeless people last night.

I don't even remember doing it. I think it was the kangaroo because he kept pulling stuff out of his stomach area and drinking it. Just got a fucking sandwich under his shirt. Cory is a kangaroo, the Southern kangaroo. Secret marriage of none revealed. Ooh. I'm in, I'm so in.

Ooh, that is hot, that's hot. Pope Pius will be asked by Archbishop Miller to grant a special dispensation for Sister Adelia of the St. Francis Hospital Corps, who, in the disguise of a cook's garb, eloped last August with Jacob Walter, who was her patient. Oh, wow. Her patient? Yeah. Yeah.

That man knocked out like four fantasies in one night. He did, didn't he? He did. He had a one woman orgy. Tonight you're a nurse. Shit, now you're a nun. Oh God. The pub's watching us.

That one-legged bird flies by. The devil's here too. Oh my God. Mind if I join? That's a if I join. That's a lot of feathers. Curious if it lists his element in this story. Oh, the enlopement.

What was wrong with my boy? The enlopement has just leaked out early in the summer. Walter was taken ill and sent to the St. Francis hospitals. That's it. He's just taken ill. Sure. That's what happened back then. You got taken ill. Yeah. Took it. He's just taken ill. Sure. That's what happened back then you got taken ill. Yeah took everything. Yeah Their sister Adil attended him. Yeah

He fell in love with his nurse and his love was returned Walter left his bed one morning. It's gotta be great. Like is it crazy when you're like, I think the nun is giving vibes. Yeah. Like you'd have to be like, no way. Dude, this dude's game is immaculate. It's really amazing to be able to like, nun pull. Nun nurse pull. Nun nurse pull is shocking.

This is against many of her rules. You've got to like, she has to be making the first move. You can't. Yeah, she's into it. She's into breaking multiple. She's eating Chick-fil-A chicken in a gay Virginia hat. Yes. Yes. She gets it. She's off limits. Do you think she gave him a handy? Yeah, I think there had to be something. Yeah. She kissed his neck and then they had to get married because of the law. Yeah. She was like, I've betrayed the Lord. We're legally married now. Walter left his bed one morning and Sister Adalia did not go to early mass in the chapel.

Instead, she went into the kitchen and exchanged her uniform for the street clothes of one of the cooks. And she and Walter were married by justice of the peace. Buddy, she did what? She went into the kitchen and was just like, put on my nun outfit. Yeah, she just put a chef's hat on it. She was like, now I can escape. Chefs are allowed to leave. Are nuns not allowed to-

That's a much funnier visual. Thank you for that. But it definitely said traded, which means she just got a cook to give her the course. Excuse me. Would you like to be a nun for the day and I'll be a book? Okay. Hell yeah, dude. See, now I'm making the dumb ass Southern, but this guy's fun. So I like it. He's got a cigarette hanging out on one lip.

And then this fucking nurse came in here, just got undressed, dude. She was naked. She was like, give me your clothes. I gotta go marry this guy. I was like, what the fuck am I supposed to do? God wants me to do it. Pope Pius doesn't notice. Sister, can we bother you to come into the chapel

for a minute? He's got a full beard. I reckon I probably could figure it out. Come here. All right, all the nuns gather round. I ain't giving those sick dudes hand jobs like that last broad did. Easy now, sister.

That's not how a lady talks. All the nuns gather round. We've gotten some word that some of the patients are hitting on some of you. Please, no dipping in the chapel. So. Hell, man, you're the one calling me at this time of day.

What the fuck am I supposed to do, Pope? Language, sister. Good Lord. Well, also pies. Where's the pies at, dude? What the fuck am I supposed to do, Pope? Uh, language, sister. Good Lord. Well, also pies. Where's the pies at, dude? What the fuck are we doing in here? Um. It's much to learn, sister.

With a beard and a cigarette. Well, what I want to get back to is she did this. I was giving my boy a lot of credit, and he clearly had some game and or was gorgeous. But if she ran into the kitchen and that quickly got some of the she's the one pulling the gears. You see what I'm saying? He there's got to be tons of nuns who go in when they're super young and they're like, you know what? I would like to fuck. Yeah. Well, it's also not to make the to fuck. Yeah. Well, it's also not to make the man was probably like, get married.

Do you want to hang out? She was like, it's the only way we just made out a little bit. And that's a morphine. And she's like, finally, my true calling you. I don't know. I think growing up in the part of the South that I did, I kind of understand what happens with kids at 19 and they've been waiting to fuck, but God won't let them in their brain. I think as soon as she was like, he was like,

yeah, I'll wear a wedding ring, a hat. I'll wear your clothes. I'll do whatever you want. We can get tattoos as long as you let me bust, sister. Yeah. Yeah. And then getting married. That was in the, that was in the Cardi wrote her.

As long as you let me bust sister. As long as you let me, I didn't know Hallmark made one of these. As long as you let me bust. I mean, I would also like the justice of the piece was like, and do you standard cook, take this man to be your take this patient, take this man and his OR scrubs. He's coughing. Yeah, he's just kind of hospice.

He's still got TB. You get the rope split in the back. Yeah. This is a strange ceremony, obviously. After the excitement of the wedding had somewhat subdued, the pair began to think their separation from the church. They began to think of their separation from the church. They appealed to Father Schmidt of Saint Aban. I can't read that. And it was through his intervention that Archbishop Miller has appealed to the pope

to give his consent to a church wedding. Oh, they just want the Pope. Oh, they want to make the wedding. Oh, they want to make it. They want it to be legit. They want it to be Catholic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, I still want to be Catholic. I just didn't want to be a nun. That feels fair. Yeah. It is interesting. This is news. Yeah, okay. Well, a rogue nun, feels I guess in small town. Like a movie. Again, evening news too. It's the problem of the evening news. It's like a film you'd see on TV. I guess it's just embarrassing for them. I feel like. Yeah. Yeah.

Or maybe they did it themselves. Maybe this is part of the ploy to get back in the church. Maybe they got a PR guy, you know guy in their team. I like the cook still hanging out as a nun this whole time. You know these wafers could be a little tastier. Quiet, sister! What do you know about Flavor Profiles? That's not a wafer.

That's an opium pill. That's for the patients. Goddamn, man. He starts getting feelings for one of the patients. Goddamn, man. Mom starts getting feelings for one of the patients. Sister, we found the actual sister. Well, I don't know what you're talking about. Well, she's come forward and said she took the cook's clothes and went off and got married. You mean that lady cook that's always lying on me? You mean that fivin' lady cook that's always lying on me? You mean that favorite lady cook?

Who are you gonna believe? Her, you're hot as none. Her, actually, yeah. Oh. But we need you to stay on. You're the only one who can lift Fat George. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha But you've been so helpful in the crucifix cleaning. Judge, she's a fabricator said prisoner to the court. Judge, she's a fabricator said Henry Martin to Justice Harris in the central police court this morning,

luring his wife's charges of, luring, that can't be the right word. Oh, during his wife's charges of non-support. Hmm. Martin was- I already know who I believe. Yeah. Martin, who was arrested by patrolman Saul in the second District Tuesday, denied every

charge made against him. His wife claimed that he had not given her a penny towards support of their eight-year-old boy for four months and that he had not even been home in that time. Well, yeah, he's... Yeah. They asked him. Yeah, he's not there. See, this is what you're trying to avoid, Drew, but just go live.

Just go live? Just go live. Yep. It's fine. I don't think I could beat the charges. I mean, I do have a criminal law background. Actually, I used to be an attorney. I think I'd do better than judge. She's a fabricator, you know, I'd at least like come in with some fake receipts. Like look at this Venmo picture,

judge. I thought I've been mode this bitch. Look, it says it right there for whatever. I feel like you shouldn't say I've, I feel like I've been mode this bitch. Yeah, I know that was kind of the memo. I feel like you shouldn't say I've I feel like I've been mode this bitch. Yeah, I know that was kind of the memo. I feel like the judge wouldn't. Like that. I think you should leave it to me, you know, one of us with the law school. Yeah, Dave, he's a fucking ex lawyer. Leave it.

Yeah, but I'm sorry to get why he's an ex lawyer as opposed to still lawyer. Does that make sense? Wait a minute. This isn't Dave. This is just a cook in a Dave outfit. I knew it. His wife claimed he had not given her a penny towards the support of their eight-year-old boy for four months.

That's allowed back then. And they did not even at home. She further stated that when he was living with her, He's kids age, why's he still living at home? Why's he going to the revolving door company? Get to the mine, get to the revolving door front lines. When he was living with her, he pawned everything in the house

from her shoes to the silver knives and forks in the drawer to buy- I'm gonna go on a limb here. Is this guy drunk? To buy alcohol, that's correct. Honey, where are the knives? We don't need those. We're drinking it.

I'm as bad as you are. You can't cut whiskey. Someone are you telling me someone to get rid of your shoes and your forks? That's crazy. And we're not going to leave here until we find out which son of a fucking bitch did it. The woman said that the trouble started. Imagine having no knives or forks. Just go into the bar. That'll be 275. How many forks is there? Let me call my manager. Hey, take four forks and a fifth.

I'm gonna be here for a while. Are these your boys forks? Last time you came in here and you gave me a growing fork. These are grown man forks. Okay. Here's a couple knives and forks. And these are my these are my heels. These are my heels to if I could just have a little bit more whiskey inside of that glass

The woman said that the trouble started in the West where they went to live about three years ago And after standing the abuse as long as she could she Came to the city and secured a position and later they were reunited and lived together for about eight months Yeah, so why wouldn't you take him back? Yeah Within eight months. He's so he's hawking your forks Martin claimed that after the reunion He worked in the Willits pottery drawing from that firm for the eight months about seven hundred dollars of which he gave his wife

The greater share he showed the court a book with entries of his earnings during his employment in the pottery and also said That his wife had bought a lot at heart and Morris Avenue with this money Okay, so she brought a Venmo receipt like I fucking said Dave does he has a fucking receipt now That's you want to say you're sorry to drew Dave No Dave what is that? Is that a winged bird? I is that a hoofed bird? I have some Jersey Devils in the house Miss Martin admitted that she owned the lot But said that her money had bought it.

Okay. So she owns property. The woman told the court that she- Yeah, she's doing well and this guy's just a piece of shit. The woman told the court that she owned four lots in Wilbur that were in her own name and not a penny in her husband's money had helped pay for them. He was definitely at the bar trying to trade a lot though for like gin. I don't know.

I'm turning a corner here. She's got four lots. She's coming at my man for even more. How'd she get four lots if he didn't give her any money in 1909? Yeah, this is weird. You see right now, anyone listening, this is what toxic masculinity sounds like. I'm gonna do something. Uh-huh. Ah! Overseer of the poor Dearden was the complainant, Miss Martin having gone before him, asking that she have help either from her husband

or from the city, and Martin was remanded further until further evidence can be secured. Another woman holding a good man down with the help of the forked fork. That's right, he seems like a fine man. I really wish I'd, when I started dating my girlfriend, I just started stealing her forks. Is it too late? What's the cutoff? Am I okay to just? It's never too late to start stealing forks. Just start a pinch or not. Or cutlery.

As your attorney, I recommend you steal forks tonight. It just would be so great to just, like, imagine being in a relationship and started to be like, yeah, there's more forks missing, but we're both baffled. And when she takes you to fork court, this will be admissible because this is protected by our attorney client privilege. Fork court is, please, please show me Fork Court. Now entering the Fork Court. Jack is still in bad. Jack Maureen is still drinking and still visiting the police stations. This time he is taking his meals at the second district

He was arrested this morning on Broad Street by Patrolman McGuire for being drunk and disorderly He will be given a hearing tonight before judge ruse Stop feeding him Jack still at it. Yeah I think the food is good. I think if you're just showing up to I mean, I think at some point it's like his jack in the box. Like he would just get hammered and be like, that's where that's actually where it came from. He kept going into the box and that's how blame mice for this fire mice gnawing on matches are supposed to have started the fire which occurred

Guy well Well, I could tell you one thing I'm the guy who's been tracking the devil the hoof devil bird There's a hundred percent mouse fire The hoof devil bird is a hundred percent mouse fire. Listen, I may have done a bad bit earlier being an attorney on Venmo, but my limited time in the criminal defense world, figure out who got the insurance on this case. Mouse arson. I mean, that's, that's wildly, wildly beautiful for someone. Tough to prove.

It's still a lead. If the whole world believed mice can chew on matches and start a fire, I would own nothing but ashes right now and a big pile of fucking money. The technical name for it is Marson. Okay, that's not, no. Oh man. This goddamn kangaroo hopped in here with a bunch of matches in his pouch. I mean, literally every animal they saw was like potential criminal.

That bird was the devil. That bird is the devil? These mice are lighting house fires. I'm paying my lawyer and forks. And the nuns, the nuns are fucking giving hand jobs. The nuns are cooks and the cooks are jacking off. I don't know what's happening. Mice gnawing on matches are supposed to have started the fire, which

occurred in the cigar store of Thomas Terrell. It's a cigar store. So? So they let the cigar birdie. Yes, I agree with the same guy, the same drunk. Do the character, Gareth. He's hammered. He started the fire. No, you guys are showing up here with a head full of ideas, but let me just put some of them out of your mind right away. This is a hundred percent a mouse issue.

You look around here thinking, Oh, was I in here smoking cigars drunk? No, I don't even. Was I smoking a little bit? But then they tell you where this plot got a little bit thicker. All of a sudden, when a mouse came in here and they said they do it to put on their teeth, just make sure she gets like the teeth and babies and they buy the matchbooks next thing You know Bing Bang sulfur boom. That's what did it. I'm lucky to be alive

I think they did on purpose because we said you can't smoke in here. Oh, yeah Why I thought it kind of putting up that sign that says no mouse smoking that burned down but it was up there You better believe me with that. I seen it and I can read to third grade Hey, you guys didn't see nothing. Here you go fork for everybody. Everybody gets a fork You guys didn't see nothing The fire marshal's like I was gonna arrest him but he paid me off in a fork made me an offer I couldn't refuse pretty good. Yeah, the cops are just searching his place They lift up the mattress and it's just all forks. Jesus Christ.

Passersby noticed the flames and turn on in an alarm which was responded to by Chief Allen with engines two and three in truck one the flames were quickly extinguished the damage amount to do about $200 yeah i did it i did it and i do it again is that mice talking that's right i do it again i did it again that motherfucker told me i can't have a cigar i'm a croon that motherfucker mouse fuck that it just he rips off the mouse costume and it's a nun. Good Lord. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm quite lost. I don't know. $200. What was that back then?

It can't be that much. 10 grand? Yeah, maybe even less. I don't know. Not worth it. Trenton men make a ton tub for Taft. A ton tub for Taft. The JL Mott Company just completed a mammoth bathtub for President-elect William H. Taft. Mr. Taft will use it during his voyage on the battleship

North Carolina from Charleston to Cologne and return. The bathtub is now on exhibition at the main offices of The Mott Company in New York and is seven feet, one inch long, 41 inches wide, and weighs a ton. It will hold four men. And is the largest- And one taft. And is the largest ever manufactured,

The Mott Company says. He was 340 pounds, which is big, but so not big. It's not that big. Well, this is just like the $200. I think it's pretty big in 09. Yeah, what is that in today's weight, Dave? Yeah, I think the tubs were smaller then. It's the size of a mouse.

I mean, to be so big that they make a special tub for you is obviously embarrassing. This is boy math. You've heard of the girl math or whatever, like all that that the kids are talking about. This is boy math. Yeah. So fucking how many tubs? We got to get this lord ass. Just so the president could just be like, that's nice. That feels good.

You know, my asshole hasn't been underwater in a decade. That's so nice. He's going to cologne. Is that where he was going? Yeah. So he wanted to smell good. Yeah. Is that where he was going? Yeah, so he wanted to smell good. Yeah, the bathtub is one half as large Again as the ordinary bathtub of the most ample proportions The ordinary bathtub weighs only 400 pounds the bathtub is to be fitted especially for mr Taft's comfort and if he should take a fancy to its pond like dimensions Wow, I mean, a fucking pond. This is the first hot tub. My man had a hot tub.

Yeah, he did. Yeah. On a boat to Cologne. Imagine being a dude who got a hot tub made for your boat to go to Cologne. And then you find out later, you weren't even the best William H. in American history. You were a solid second. You were like, no, what you did was incredible. We got a guy who beat you though, dude. He played a drunk in a way that we've never seen before.

And I saw my forks. Shameless. There's no reason why it should not be transferred from North Carolina into the White House with other personal baggage of Mr. Taft. This company is from North Carolina and this made the New Jersey paper? That's right. This is probably made. It probably made the country. This was a lot like I definitely thought this was like local boys made good. Like, can you believe they asked our tub makers to get this fat ass his own boat

tub? But it's it's just like, this is the news. Interesting. This is I'm not complaining. It's just like that surprised me. It's national news. is the news. Interesting. I'm not complaining. It's just like that surprised me. It's national news. Yeah. That's big. Manufacturers do not make Taft-sized bathtubs for the trade, and how to get one that should be of adequate proportions and luxurious white enamel was something of a problem. From Norfolk, an order for a bathtub Taft-sized came to New York with instructions to find one. The tub has been found, and it will be ready on the warship for Mr, Taft size, came to New York with instructions to find one. The tub has been found and it will be ready

on the warship for Mr. Taft thanks to Trenton Labor. Dude liked baths. And the story is that he got stuck in the bathtub at one point. Right. I mean, that was something that happened. So this might be right before this or he just got fatter. No, it's probably fake. And then this story hit the national news and someone ran with it and made it up. I don't think he actually got stuck. Oh, so people were shit talking to him.

And then so then they started doing bathtub stories on him. Yeah, it was like, yeah, it's tough. But again, he got his bath. I mean, if they're building up specific bathtub that that might be that's where you're like, you know what, I'm going to walk a little bit more. When my tub is making the news I Guess also and maybe this is ignorant of me and I'm apologize if it is folks listening

I think weighing 340 back then that takes some effort Yeah, well You know, it's well, no, it's a time when you're I mean he could have just been a naturally giant dude I think you're allowed there's not a lot of people that weigh that much back then. It's not like yeah That's what I'm saying. He was fucking hoarding the food. This isn't like a thyroid problem The motherfucker was rich and being a dick. I hope he drowns in the bathtub. You know what fuck you Gareth Well, you said you came in here to throw some haymakers, Drew, and you surely did. Thank you, the great Drew Morgan for joining us. People can go to drewmorgancomedy.com for your dates.

Yeah, you came in to fight and you fought. You fought well. I don't know if anyone's ever won the show, but I think you won the show Yeah, damn. That was my goal. Yeah better guess the Cory Hell yeah. Yeah. All right later. You Cory fuck both of you. Oh, Dave. You're still blurry Thank you. Fuck fat people in 1909, but not today not today, but in 1909 and also fuck nuns Not today, but in 1909 and also fuck nuns. Oh my god Christ all right. This is the pin the pastimes. We'll be right back with an all-new episode You'll miss me, honey, some of these days.

Hey, Dollop fans. I know you love the Dollop. You love listening to the Dollop. Do you want to watch the Dollop? You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes.

So if you want to go watch a five-part animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode I can't remember of the Rube you can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome Animation of the Rube it it really genuinely kicks ass and we're very proud of it And the more you share it the more you give it to people the more you follow, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one, so go there and watch the Rube.