The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 139 -The Past Times with Mike O'Connell

Episode Date: August 22, 2025

Dave Anthony reads a paper to co-host Gareth Reynolds and funny man Andy Beckerman SOURCES OFFICIAL MERCH TOUR DATES   Mint Mobile Download Cash App - Code DOLLOP

I recently went to visit my buddy Phil in Ontario a little while ago, and he was like, oh, yeah, just come over, stay at my place. You know, and I was like, buddy, love you, but probably not going to do that. So I ended up booking an Airbnb in like the village of Chippewa right on the well land, I believe, canal. And yeah, it was awesome. I had like, there's like a little dock. There were big windows.

The whole nature meets city vibe. It was perfect. By day three, like Phil was like, can I crash here? And I was like, no, you have a home. But he did. And that's really when it hit me, that someone had to be hosting this place that they weren't even there. But they're making money while we're just sitting out on the dock, drinking coffee, watching geese. having a good laugh with each other.

So if you've got the space, it's a practical way to earn some extra cash to, you know, go towards whatever, car payments, cat food, groceries, whatever, without it taking over your life. It's flexible. It's on your schedule and it works around your lifestyle. Whether you're at home or you're off visiting your own fill in another city. So if you've ever thought about hosting your own place, this is your sign. Your home might be worth more than you think. find out how much at Airbnb.ca.ca slash host.

The dollop is brought to you by Squarespace. Oh, Dave. Our friends forever. We've been using Squarespace forever. We love their websites. They're crisp. They're clean. They're easy to use.

You don't have to update stuff. Look, we've said this over and over again. But if you want to know if we really do like Squarespace, go look at any website we're affiliated with. and it is square space. Oh, yeah. Look, they have flexible payments. You can just make the...

Flexible employees, too. Those people are... It's weird. You can make the whole checkout experience seamless, very simple, very powerful. They do credit cards. Apple pay, all the stuff. PayPal.

They do it all. You can sell content. You can sell your exclusive stuff right on their site, buy on the paywall. You can fill memberships. So courses, whatever. You can sell stuff.

I'm doing. a ropes course on my website. Is that what we're talking about? I feel like we shouldn't have you on this. Okay, keep going. And if you're a business, you can manage your clients and invoices, vetting, and receiving payment. Am I allowed to speak? Because I think that's a good point. No. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com slash dollup to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I'm going to say it again. Go to Squarespace.com for free trial. When you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com to sell up to save 10% of your first purchase of a website or domain. All right, everybody.

Welcome to the Past Times podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I've never seen it before, and neither is our guest this week. The great Mike O'Connell. The greatest dog. Hi, Mike. How are you? How are you? Good. How are you?

All as well in the zoo. All as well in the zoo, as always. Dave, thoughts? I was stroking my beard. Yeah. It's looking good. I'm a chin. Thank you, sir.

Thank you. There'll be no side chemistry. We've known each other. Mike, have we known each other longer than I've known Gareth. Definitely. I like Gareth and you're reading in what. whatever year that was. No, that's not where I met you.

I thought that was where I met you. No. Oh, no, no, no, no. Different reading. Different reading. I apologize. I've been in so many readings. Yeah, you're a big reading guy.

I am. Not in the actual show. I'm just, I'm a good reader. A great reader. Yeah. You're an amazing reader. Mike, what is your album called? Do you have a title?

Yes, the title is a gaggle of red flags. And it's just, you know, a consortium of sad songs and introspective songs. Well, your last one was called sad songs to be sad to, right? Sad songs to get sad to, yeah. To get sad to. That is on all of the streaming services. Which is so good. Yeah.

I actually went to your first time you did all those, and I was kind of crying. It was very strange. I was like in the back alone, like, oh, my God. That's the goal. Mike is one of the funniest human beings, so you should go get his last one. And he can make you the saddest. Yeah. God, he's funny.

Once I made everyone laugh, I decided to make them cry. There's a clip of Mike when he did Kimmel back in the day. And his amp doesn't work when he's about to play his guitar. Oh, yeah. It is. What a, you rolled with a punch. so well. Yeah, I did. I mean, I'm not bragging, but I guess in that situation, you kind of have to. Oh, so fucking good. I'm like someone you really need to see in person if you get the chance.

Truly. Yes. Videos do not communicate it well. I agree. It can be communicated, but you see Mike live and you are like, it's quite confusing when it, when videoed. Well, Mike after shows, people, you know, people will be like, oh, you were funny, you were funny. And then like, like people would be like you're amazing and then like one out of every six people be like you're fucked up like I don't know about you go you're fucking crazy man and I was like well well that's a compliment they're like this is not a compliment sir no I legitimately want to get help for you right now I have I have some therapist friends and I know people at mental hospitals yeah that has happened it has happened and I always think it's charming and then it's not

And then... It is. There's so many people who are like... But you feel a little shitty when people think you're not pretending to be mentally ill. Well, Mike and I did a show once at San Jose, and I came out... I was hosting.

And the first thing I said was, San Jose is either pretty hot women or homeless people. And it, like, it was brutal. And Mike was like, dog, that's not a good way to start a show. He's like, they live here. I'm no MC myself, but I, feel like that might be a bad way to start a program. It was bad.

Where can people get the new album, Mike? It will be on all the streaming demons and, you know, Apple music and whatnot. The streamans. The streamings. And then you don't know when it'll be out necessarily. I think it'll be out the first week of September. Okay, great. All right.

And it's called a gaggle of red flags. Yes. All right. You got it. That's what I settled on. well it sounds like you're brimming with confidence as usual over your choices there's actually a song about lacking confidence on the album so this is worked out quite well there you are um okay mike so um the way this will happen at the beginning

is that we're going to guess what year this paper's from um Dave will you're going to win no matter what because Dave has I love victory yeah but it's not earned because Dave it's just how Dave is passive-aggressively doing stuff to me it's but anyway it doesn't even matter so but you guess first mike that's the best way to do this otherwise it's some weird stuff happens so it could be it could it could be 1700s probably going to be 1800s 1900s could be 2000s but it's up to you okay i'm going to go uh just a hundred years from my birth 1876 1876 it's interesting i like that a lot. Yeah. I'm going to say you're wrong.

Oh, go ahead. 1894. Your way off. The mic is much closer. It's 1858, July 27th. That's a legitimate win. You're off and wrong. It's just... Say I lost. See, Mike,

I have to do all that stuff before and now it seems strange that I did it, but I have to do it because of Dave. Dave has You're almost psychic and away because you've told it. Yes, I got that part right. Yeah. You suck, Dave.

So obviously, as we said beforehand, the loser needs to say I lost. So before we continue. I don't remember that part, but I, for the sake of the show, once again, I will just say, I lost. Oh, it's hard to say you lost in my. modern times because people oh no it's not it took a while i said it took you like 30 seconds 30 seconds come okay it took a while it was like it was hard to watch it was hard to watch all right let's just come on now let's get this show cooking the Detroit free press Detroit Michigan um Tuesday july 27th 1858 you're of our lord police court oh it's just a

a list of crimes. Oh, they good? John Faye stole the sheepskin, the property of the Michigan Central Railroad Company, and was sent up for 90 days. 90 days for stealing a sheepskin.

Yeah, they got you in the workhouse. And then you get out, and then they put you in the poor house. So that's probably 180 days. That hasn't changed. I don't know why he stole it, though. If memory serves back then, they were pretty sheep.

I like how it's the, it's the property of the, of the railroad. They're, they're just, they're just transporting the sheep. Yeah. Under the dark of night. No, it's how like a firehouse had a Dalmatian, you know, like a little mascot that the trains just had like a sheepskin that they're like, what do you think, Grace? Yeah. Ephraim Beecher stealing six chickens from Dan Coglin.

The complainant was unable to identify his chickens with exactness, and the defendant was given the benefit of a doubt and discharged. I mean, to be fair, asking someone to identify their chick, like, you'd be like, it's like a lineup. They bring them into the like lineup room, like, right, which four are yours? Like, they all look very similar. And I've never trusted. name ephraim you know i agree

dodge dodge city that name i agree i agree i would assume that they were like okay describe your chickens without them being there and he was like feathery uh beaks beaks uh claude there are there are only a certain amount of kinds of chickens so i guess three there's three what there's three you know that no what just happened i don't know

I'm just guessing. There's only three types of chicken and they all look the same. That's my album. I like it. It's ready to drop. Quicker than mine. Cheers will come out sometime in the next 10 years. Charles Watson and Henry Hamlock were tried for assault.

They were on a spree on Celebration Day and as a natural consequence, got drunk, drew pistols, etc. as a natural consequence in 1853 a natural consequence they got drunk so obviously there was guns they were tried on so they said to jail for 40 days 40 days so yeah it's it's just it's a longer sentence for the sheepskin yep yes cheapkins are the most egregious yeah you can run around with guns and you 40 days is all you get yep uh sheepskin you're they'll hang you Times have changed. The same fate as the sheepskin. Yeah.

That's it. That's it for the crime. And that's the start of the paper. It's a light day in Detroit. That's a light day in Detroit with three, it's just three like animal-based crimes. It's weird because- It's probably the same with the crimes listed up top.

So much more murder. Well, there was, let me see, I think there was a murder. Assault and battery. Assault and battery, fine for cost of suit and... For suit? Oh, no. This is just two guys.

Doc loafers were sent up for 30 days. So they were loafing on a dock. Docklovers? You don't hear it as much? You don't hear it as much these days, unfortunately. Well, if you do, it's like yacht rock attire. That is true. That is not wrong.

Thank you for putting that so diplomatically. Thank you for leaving me with a puzzle on whether or not I was right. Yes. It is so not wrong. It is a quandary. A woman's rights champion. A dilapidated female. She's a fixer-upper.

She's a, the insurance company's coming by later. We're going to assess her, but so far, I don't know. We might just have to tear her down and do a full rebuild. The editor was like, perfect word choice, perfect word choice. Yeah. Delapidated female. Holy shit. I haven't seen a woman like this since I drove past that house out in the prairie.

We're condemning her. She is done. A dilapidated female of a very uncertain age dressed in a dirty calicoan gown, Slip-Shod shoes, and a very limsy sunbonnet took our office by storm yesterday. Love a limsy sun-in-law. Yeah. They were attacked. They were attacked.

No wonder she's dilapidated. She looked very seedy and we need not add. Jesus, leave her alone. Wore no hoops. She wore no hoops. Oh, my God. I think the gall. The absolute disgusting.

Hoops are in dresses. Yeah, they're those big. She's wearing a dress. She's going hopless. By the way, I mean, the level. And the level of comfort, the difference in the comfort level of hoop and non. Seriously. Oh, just hell.

Just getting ready was hell. Or sitting, you can't sit down in a hoop dress, right? Like, how could you? Well, if you do, you sit like, it's like how, you know, it's like you've got to like lift it up like a hen. I mean, you've just got to like lift it all up and then kind of plant down and then drop it over yourself. But if you are attack, if you're attacking journalists, you just don't want those hoops in your way. you know you want to have like uh just a skirt yeah something you can sort of get a gallop going in at the detroit news yeah uh she said never a word but threw a small book at our head

and dodged out as quick as lightning okay that's the first compliment they gave her is that she's fast as fuck yeah don't you think she just tossed it on the desk and they're like DA was on our head. Just, why would she stick around? Everyone was like, God, so many problems. I guess it really matters what the book is. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I know. Astonished, we'd hurried to the door and caught a glimpse of her apron strings streaming out behind as she turned the corner at such speed that the thought was at once suggested that she must have taken us for policemen and been reminded thereby of sundry nights spent in the calaboose for vagrancy. A lot of, a lot of assumptions. She's also of an indeterminate age, but she's very fast.

So, yeah, it's hard to figure out. Well, we don't know how old she is, but we're not cops, but we don't know how old she is. We don't know much. She had an apron on and she's definitely been to jail, just judging by the way she was. Beautiful writing, poet poetic, with the strings flowing behind her. Yeah. I believe they just called her a prostitute. Oh, my God.

By saying she got spent nights in the Calibus for Vagerness, they're saying, for vagrancy, they're saying, yeah, no, she's a street. She's a street lady. And the Calibus is jail. Like, that was just a common phrase. No, no, you pay extra. You can put it in the Calibus. Gary?

No, another 15 bucks to let you go on that calibus. Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Trust me, boys. Contented with this explanation. Go ahead. God.

This contented with this explanation, we returned and incidentally picked up the book, which was found upon examination, to be an essay on women's rights, coached in the most emphatic and unmascern. I don't know what was her problem. Why was she so curious about women having rights? Seems like she's doing fine with society as currently constructed.

Yeah, the article seems like she might be right the ways they're talking shit about her for no fucking reason. Yeah. They're like, oh, yeah, I know what their problem was. She doesn't like the tiered system. Hoopless. You may as well have your legs open, woman. Honestly, no hoops. Running around, hoopless.

No hoops, women's rights. Perusing this, we found that our friend of the CD arrelement is a reformer on a grand scale. She proposes nothing less than a colonization of the female race, independent of any such useless appendages as men. The book is headed, Mental and Psychological Phenomena, or the Wife's Or? revelations a written verse upon the cover mutilates four lines of the sublime exposition of hafed in the fire worshippers as follows and then so there's a little quote they're really mad yes i am of that impious race i am of that outcast few who hail use everlasting place where love sweet empire reigns tis heaven okay

And then it goes on to list the stuff she wants. Here we go. Get ready. I mean. Buckle up for this bullshit. We want a track of land and some good gentlemen who will be honest enough to pay us when we work. So that what a fucking monster. Okay.

Thank you. Over the edge. Thank you. Over enough. Okay. Okay. Holy shit. You know, women are just not comfortable.

with you promising a wage. They actually want follow-through, which is just... Disgusting. Disgusting. They're calling for gentlemen as well, which is, you know, they're probably not a lot.

Not a lot of nice dudes back then. No, fuck no. Are you kidding me? The idea, imagine finding like a guy where you were like, I think... Like, they would probably get together and be like, don't worry. Tom is actually nice.

He pays money for work. I swear. He pays for work. he gets it down with all the wicked and brutal propagandism of the human race by organized and systematic frauds for the enslavement of the sex why may not every guileless daughter of adam and eve uh daughter of adam go out as eve did and cultivate a garden instead of starving and rotting in the vile attics and basements or swelling and hooped flounced puppetry good this is that back to the paper comments. Good. We second that last suggestion. It sounds spunky.

How the words change over time. We should like to see them plowing and mowing in the hot sun with a thermometer at 98 or carrying bags of wheat weighing 200, cleaning out the barn and butchering fat porkers and making themselves generally useful by shining, shitting up a pole, a slippery pole to the top of a haystack and sliding onto the pig sty. We go in for the all women, no man reformation,

wonder how many generations will survive to perpetuate the names of the founders. Good God. They're just like, can we get paid for our work in the skies? Yeah, why don't you lift a giant sack of feed? Your jabs to go into the bones. and clean out the porkers god

I mean it's shocking it's so similar to Twitter you just can't I can barely breathe it's just so similar it's like something you'd see under like a thing where I was like

for real all right listen to me your job is pretty straightforward clean out porkers and shut the fuck up porkers the guy is just like using kind of

very esoteric language to talk about pigs. Yeah, yeah. Clean out the porkers. Well, I mean, justified in throwing the book and running away. Like, my God. And then she said, she said like a hoop based, you know, she talked about the hoops in her treatise.

She said that it's just hoops are fucking ridiculous. Yeah. And she was, she was exactly right. She hated hoops and wanted to be. paid for work, and these guys are like, this is disgusting. Oh, that is a bridge too far. A bridge too far.

Excuse me. Well, I hope it worked out for her. It didn't. No. She went back to the caboodle or wherever. Yeah, she was back to the caboole. They sent her straight back to the capica. Oh, boom, boom, boom.

Yeah. She would have been one of the first ladies in town to wear pants, and they would have lost their minds. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the pastimes is brought to you by Cash App, which we both use. Sometimes we send each other money. Sometimes we'll do it if we don't even need to. It's how much we like Cash App.

It's how much we like Cash App. It's fun to swap around. We'll just send the money back in your course. But I will say we, on the road, when we have merch, more and more people are using Cash App. And you could see more and more people are paying through that. More people are scanning that QR code. Well, because it's more secure And not to bring up anything else

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Like there's so many scams going on. There are. There's a ton of scams out there and you're and you don't know if it's real. and you and you it's so easy to like wake up and click on something and it's like oh man hey you you know 65 bucks on this and your brain's not working yet and you just click and send it well cash apple got your back on that yeah whereas other places are like well you screwed up yeah and everyone's fishing do the voice the other places again screwed up yeah but everyone's fishing everyone's trying to get ways for you to click on the thing and accidentally send money

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Being able to turn off your card is awesome. Yeah, yeah. For a limited time, new cash app customers can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For real, we're not getting around, just download cash app, use our exclusive referral code dollup in your profile and send $5 to a friend within 14 days

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Here's mine. You ready? Looking for an easy tap? Yeah, that's Cash App. I think I feel like we just lost another You're spoiled by how good these are That's your problem You're eating fillet every night

So you don't even care I recently went to visit my buddy Phil In Ontario a little while ago And he was like Oh yeah just come over Stay at my place You know and I was like Buddy love you

But probably not going to do that So I ended up up booking an Airbnb in like the village of Chippewa, right on the well land, I believe, canal. And yeah, it was awesome. I had like, there's like a little dock, there were big windows, the whole nature meets city vibe. It was perfect. By day three, like Phil was like, can I crash here? And I was like, no, you have a home. But he did. And that's really when it hit me, that someone had to be hosting this place that they weren't even there, but they're making money while we're just sitting out on the dock, drinking coffee, watching geese, having a good laugh with each other. So if you've got the space, it's a practical way to earn some extra cash to go towards whatever, car payments, cat food, groceries, whatever, without it taken over your life.

If it's flexible, it's on your schedule, and it works around your lifestyle. Whether you're at home or you're off visiting your own fill in another city. So if you've ever thought about hosting your own place, this is your sign. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca.ca. The dollop is brought to you by Squarespace. Oh, Dave. Of course, our friends forever.

We've been using Squarespace forever. We love there. websites, they're crisp, they're clean, they're easy to use. You don't have to update stuff. Look, we've said this over and over again, but if you want to know if we really do like Squarespace, go look at any website we're affiliated with, and it is Squarespace. Oh, yeah. Look, they have flexible payments. You can just make the- flexible employees, too. Those people are... It's weird. You can make the whole checkout experience seamless, very simple, very powerful.

they do credit cards, Apple pay, all the stuff, PayPal, they do it all. You can sell content, you can sell your exclusive stuff right on their site, buy on the paywall, you can sell memberships, sell courses, whatever. You can sell stuff. I'm doing a ropes course on my website. Is that what we're talking about? I feel like we shouldn't have you on this. Okay, keep going.

And if you're a business, you can manage your clients and invoices, vetting and receiving payment. Am I allowed to speak? Because I think that's a good point. No. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com slash dollup to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I'm going to say it again. Go to Squarespace.com for free trial.

When you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com slash dollop to save 10% of your first purchase of a website or domain. I recently went to visit my buddy Phil in Ontario a little while ago. And he was like, oh, yeah, just come over. stay at my place um you know and i was like buddy love you but probably not going to do that so um i ended up uh booking uh an air bn b in uh like the village of chippewa um right on the uh well well land i believe canal and um yeah it was awesome i had like uh there's like a little dock there were big windows the whole nature meets city vibe it was perfect. By day three, like Phil was like, can I crash here? And I was like, no, you have a

home. But he did. And, uh, and that's really when it hit me that someone had to be hosting this place that they weren't even there, but they're making money while we're just sitting out on the dock, drinking coffee, watching geese, having a good laugh with each other. So if you've got the space, it's a practical way to earn some extra cash to, you know, go towards whatever. Uh, the car payments, cat food, groceries, whatever, without it taking over your life, it's flexible, it's on your schedule, and it works around your lifestyle, whether you're at home or you're off visiting your own fill in another city. So if you've ever thought about hosting your own place, this is your sign. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at

Airbnb.c.ca. slash host. The dollop is brought to you by Squarespace. Oh, Dave. lawyers our friends forever uh we've we've been using square space forever we love their websites uh they're crisp they're clean they're easy to use you don't have to update stuff look we've said this over and over again but if you want to know if we really do like square space go look at any website we're affiliated with and it is square space uh yeah look they have uh they have flexible payments uh you can just make the flexible employees too those people are that's okay You can make the whole checkout experience seamless, very simple, very powerful. They do credit cards, Apple, all the stuff, PayPal, they do it all.

You can sell content, you can sell your exclusive stuff right on their site, buy on the paywall, you can sell memberships, you sell courses, whatever. You can sell stuff. I'm doing a ropes course on my website. Is that what we're talking about? I feel like we shouldn't have you on this. Okay, keep going. And if you're a business, you can manage your clients and invoices, vetting, and, you're

receiving payment. Am I allowed to speak? Because I think that's a good point. No. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com slash dollup to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I'm going to say it again.

Go to Squarespace.com for free trial. When you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace. com slash dollup to save 10% of your first purchase of a website or domain. Desperate fight, stabbing afraid. A man named George Sheldon, a runner for one of the omnibus lines, was stabbed at the Central Hotel yesterday in a very serious manner, receiving several bad wounds. That's not a serious man. It wasn't a joking fashion. It wasn't one of those mild stabbings that were used to in town.

But it's all good. Was it a legitimate stabbing or like a hoo-hoo-oing stabbing? It's a goofy one. He goofed him. He goofed pretty good in his gut. It was a bit of a lark, stab. It was cute. It was a cutie.

Although we know someone who could get stabbed in a goofy way, Luke. Like, if there's any human being on earth who will get stabbed and it would be like jokey joke. Well, he has stabbed himself. And yeah, there's a story about him like dropping us. That is pretty goofy. Yeah. He, like, dropped a sword on his foot and was like, oh, no. Oh, you know, and that's the.

The first part of that sentence is the most important. He had a fucking sword for no reason. Oh, yeah. No, like multiple. You're like, what? He was like the guy that watched the QVC sword fucking thing back in the day. Oh, yeah, totally. I need that.

I need that for sure. They're basically giving katana's away. That is crazy. It can't be that sharp if it's from QVC. It can't be that sharp. They may as well take that sword and slash those prices because this is a steal. I'll take six. I'll take six. I'm not an idiot.

Only five didn't cut my foot open. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so the manner in which the affair occurred was as follows. Sheldon found some of his clothes mutilated by being cut with a knife and repaired to the parlor, where he found... Imagine that order where you're like, my shirt's a bit torn. Sweet mother of mercy. I do believe I'll go to the smoking room. room to reflect on this time to go think about this where he found a dr james lewis whom he accused of having

done it the latter denied it and a fight ensued the parties using chairs at first well well you go to the you go to accuse the local doctor of stabbing you yeah there's going to be a fracas the one bridge to not burn when you've been stabbed like accuse someone else who use the doctor i love that then the first thing they went to was a chair fight yeah and the one guy's the one guy's stabbed right yeah yeah he's pleading out no he's not stabbed yet he his clothing was his clothing was just he was stabbed well that's who i turned to first no fucking doctor ripped my clothes apart yeah sorry yeah no he he he was out a hotel and he, in his room, he found his clothes had been cut up.

So some guy stabbed his out. So he's a dick because no one slices your clothes unless you're a dick. Oh, there's no way. If you're a pleasant human, no way. They finally grappled. And in the melee, the doctor used a knife with which he had previously

been cleaning his nails. Okay, well, that's a fucking crazy. No one since starting cleaning their nails with a knife. There's just like shards of clothing on the knife. He's like, oh, just for my nails, just for my nails. Is that corduroy under your nail? Are all your fingers bleeding?

Yeah, yeah. Well, you got to clean them. To be fair, though, I mean, imagine the under nail gunk that we were dealing with back then. I mean, it had to just be like, look like a badger claw. You needed a bowie knife just to clean the nails. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You needed a really, like a Rambo knife just to carry it around. Yeah, just to get under there.

My great grandpa, he just cut the tips of his fingers off. That's better. Those go back. That's a sound criminal right there. Yeah, that's easier. Even before, even before the fingerprints were available. You talk about Stubbs, Anthony? Yes.

You talk about him fondly a lot. I do. He was great. He almost seems imaginary, but I try. Almost to you. Yeah, not to us. We celebrate him here. So the doctor stabs Sheldon several times with it on the head,

shoulder inside. Oh, so he was going for a kill. Head, headshoulders, knees and toes. To go from like, you stabbed my clothes and then you'd be like, well, that was actually a better era considering you've knifed my head. Stabbing someone in the head is amazing. I do feel like this doctor is way too ready. with a knife.

I don't, well, I mean, he's a doctor, Michael. He's an operator. You never know when he stabbed him.

Amputate someone. Yeah. Well, he looked to the nurse and he goes, knife. There's a nurse in here? There's a nurse.

Yeah, she handed him the knife. Could I get the closed knife and then I'm going to take the stomach knife? Not the closed knife, stomach knife. How about,

give me the head blade. So he stabbed him multiple times. Yeah. Uh-huh. The knife was a common pocket knife and the blade was not of sufficient length to inflict a very deep wound. All right, so it's a little knife.

Yeah, okay. But there's still, you're not supposed to be punctured. No. Is that lessen your time in the who's cow when it's just a tiny knife? The cuts in the side are just below the- Your Honor. He hit him with a cutie. He got it at an amusement park for fucking throwing balls in the barrels.

Good Lord. It barely broke the skin The cuts in the side Are just below the ribs And are very bad ones Well, yeah, this are Yeah, that's the part where you don't want to get stabbed Any cut seems pretty true

Yeah, I'm opposed to any stabbings personally Sheldon got away from him And went downstairs to the office His course being marked the whole length By a stream of blood So I can follow the trail At least I'll know where I started. Yeah.

the doctor immediately went out and bought a small pistol of a peddler this doctor is like doctor giggles or one of these horror doctors horror movie doctors doctor won't let it go now I'm going to shoot him and they could just that was just the time not that you can't walk into Walmart and get a gun but back then they're like yeah please take it take it

Yeah, the guy was like, there's a five-minute waiting period. And he was proceeding to load it when he was arrested by officers Whitman and Mahaney and lodged in jail. Boy, those cops got there fast. Yeah, they did. Way different. They were drinking at the same bar, probably. Yeah, probably, yeah. Oh, shit.

Here we go. The wounded man was taken upstairs and medical attendance was summoned. Hey, doc. No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm fine. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm good. No, I'm okay, I'm okay. He's the only fucking doctor in Ta-go. I think it's bad.

I'm feeling a bit better. I'll just put one of these, these brown towels on it. I think I'll feel a little bit better. This guy has killed half the population of this village. I don't, I don't care to see him. I don't care to see him. I really don't. I'll fix that.

I'll fix it. Nurse knife. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Take off the handcuffs. Take off the handcuffs. I'm ready to operate. I really need to get in there. I want to save this man from what's happening.

I just need my knife back. All right. Now I'm just going to delicately take the head off. There we are. You should be feeling a lot better. His wounds will probably not prove fatal unless those in his side are much worse than anticipated. So you don't know. So you don't know.

Can someone look? Yeah. These seem to have made by turning, made by turning the blade of the knife in the wound and maybe, oh my God, he stuck it in and twisted. He's stuck and twisted. He's just twisted as his knife. That's how you get away with a tiny knife. You know how to use it, you know? Yeah, you just poking all the way through.

There you go. I'm used to a larger knife, but I do adjust. All right, quick question. Would you rather be stabbed with a large knife without the twist or a time? anyone with two twists. Ooh. I don't know. Dr. Lewis is a traveling eye doctor

and would seem to have been a man of ungovernable passion if not a desperate character from the manner in which he used his knife. He inflicted several wounds upon himself during the fight, cutting his leg and hand with his own knife. I don't think is backwards.

He needs some knife lessons. I don't. know if they were available back then he goes to the knife range and just starts it's like you stab you just brings it closer to him no i'm afraid you stabbed yourself again god damn shit i don't know what's crazier the the fact that he he's stabbing with tidier knives or that there was an eye doctor in existence just a madman eye doctor just roaming the fucking roman in the country side. Yeah, it would just be like,

uh, here drink this. What's wrong with your eyes? I can't see Adam. All right. Here, we're going to give you the same pair of glasses every other feller gets. I can't see.

Well, yeah, I don't know. That's pretty much. That's it. It's all I got. The fact that he had to relocate to Detroit from Chicago for stabbing so any ophthalmologist patients. Well, my doctor, my doctor's new, but he had to leave the tree. He's, he's, he stabbed a guy a bunch.

He's great. He's one of the new, there's a new, uh, ophthalmologist. They're called cutters. Yeah, he's a cutting ophthalmologist. It's no different than the lasers of today. Today's, yeah. He would shave, he would shave part of your corny off just, you know, like, This is called knife lacing.

Shit, I over, I overcut. Oh, we'll shave your eyeballs until you can see right. Trust me, trust me. Don't worry. All right, I'm going to start and just say when. The eye doctor is, yeah, the eye doctor is like the old dentist where you're just like, I don't trust this motherfucker. No way.

With your eye then? Uh-uh. I'm going to put a series of needles in your eyes until they get better. And then a couple of leeches. Okay. Take care of the children. Yes. A small boat.

Yeah, thank you. I just, I just, I just completely agree with that. A small boat containing six youngsters was capsized, was capsized on Saturday in the river opposite the foot of Second Street through the carelessness or inexperienced. of its juvenile managers. There's a kid. Kids. Yeah, they sunk a boat. They're kids.

Yeah, you know, those kid captains, they can be problematic. They're not as, there's not as sharp on the deck. But counterpoint? Yeah. Very cheap. Very cheap.

Yeah. They're just explorers. You really think we'll be able to find a new passage to India? Oh, yeah. For sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We seem a bit lost, boys.

Do you know where we are still? Shut up! Yeah, shut your face. I'm drawing pictures. I'm drawing pictures with chalk. They should bring back that, though, is for people who drive cars, vehicle managers. Oh. Because I think that the boat manager is just, it's just a flower, too flowery for these journalists.

They were just trying to get their poetry in there. That's what I think. If you were able to get a young child driver for your car after you'd had a couple of drinks, I don't hate it. Uber Kid. You just get like a kid dropped off to drive your car home. You guys haven't done Uber Kid? Oh, they're great.

They're all over 10. Yeah. You want to go as high as you can go. You know, 17. It's probably best safest. But 10 is fun. They honk the horn so much. Like they love it.

Oh, they love it. The sunroofs always down. How are you doing, mister? I'm pretty drunk. You have a good time today? Yeah, it's all right. Today, he's day drinking. That's what he's telling.

You can only day drinking and get these kids to pick you up. There's something to think of the curfew. There's something to think about her that far as the curfew. I can't take you all the way because I got to be home by 845. You ready to go for him from? Yeah, yeah. What? They were fortunately discovered and all rescued by a yawl boat,

which was sent out from the shore to their relief. If parents will allow their children to play on the wharves and take sails upon the river under no proper care, they must not be astonished to receive from them, they must not be astonished to receive them home, stiff and cold, as their bodies may be taken from. from the water. It just capsized.

The y'all boat is the y'all boat, yeah. The y'all boat is pretty good. The captain. Hey, y'all, you're worried? You guys, you guys drowning or what? Y'all had a bit of a fix. Because I'm having some problems.

I'm here. I'm here for you. Don't worry. The y'all boat's here. So what's y'all's playing now? Y'all need me or should I just go on, y'all? What are we thinking? Do you need help? Should I get out of here? Where are y'all at? Don't worry. The y'all boats here.

Just the idea, well, you're just going to have a cold dead child if you keep letting your children misbehave. Yeah, I keep letting go on a boat on the river. In 1853, the idea that they're like, kids can't go on boats seems, again, it's one of those, I'm like, they had that line back then of like, no. It's Tom Sawyer. It was a. dream of a child to just escape on a boat. Oh, that is their whole thing. If a child's on a boat, he should have a slave. That is law. So, Lord.

It's July. And looking at the temperatures, it's like the temperature of the water is like between 77 and 78. That's now. So it's probably five degrees cooler. But they wouldn't freeze. They'd just be swimming around. Yeah, all right.

It's all humid. It kind of feels nice. y'all need blankets it's like we got to capsize more we got to capsize more often friends y'all okay we meant to capsize to cool our to cool our brows I'm not come down no y'all need to get on the all boat this is crazy this is literally crazy right now here you go come on form a human chain link everybody hold each other's hands y'all are doing we're swimming no you're not you're coming out of that water you understand you understand Whether y'all like it or not.

All right. The y'all boat is not here to discuss. I'm here to enforce. Y'all get up on the y'all boat now. Now, should be ashamed of yourselves. Y'all out here doing stuff like that. Unbelievable. There is a great.

You can die. That water is as cold as mildly heated soup. It's like a bad soup. It's like a poorly made soup. This is like a bad soup. Somebody didn't stoke the fire under the mulligan stew. Y'all get up there now. You, the eldest, you should be ashamed of yourself.

You could boil yourself half the time. I'm refreshed. Shut up. No. You died, basically. Hey, y'all boat to shore. Y'all boat to shore. Yeah, we got them.

We got them. Y'all ain't going to believe what they were up. They're capsizing out here and they want to keep going. They look like they're in swimsuits. Yeah, it's not good. It was obviously a group suicide attempt. And what they're trying to do is they're all trying to go at once. The kids love that stuff.

They think they go to heaven in one boat then. You know how they do with the packs, with the packs, the different packs, the suicide packs. You know how y'all will be going around. They got the packs. They love a pack these kids. Kids now be packed them. When I was a boy, we didn't packed once. No.

You were on your own. We did it by ourselves. We did you made a self-pack. I became a blood brother to my other. hand. So I did it. I became a blood brother to my, I cut my one hand, I cut my other hand, I put them together and I said, a bond is forever formed between right and left.

That was how we did. You remember that? We were boys. Y'all remember. Anyway, these kids are just, yeah, go ahead. I remember we made fun of you when you did that. Well, I didn't need you back then. I had my right hand.

I didn't need y'all. Look, do you want the kids? Do you not want the kids? I'm not staying here for my freaking health, okay? Just leave them in the river. They're having fun. They are drowning the lot of them. They looked like they were drowning.

They were splashing at each other. They were splashing. They were screaming. It was simple hijinks upon reflection. No, I don't not agree. I do not agree. What looks like, they were losing their minds in there. And if anything, they were declaring hijinks after the fact.

During, they needed me. By the way, I fell in love with this group since I got them to shore. I just, I'll be honest with y'all. Like, I just, I've been hugging these kids. I just, they are incorrigible little scampy boys. We actually wanted to talk to y'all about that. I'm not doing anything. That's maritime law.

I can do what I want. I don't follow land law. It was in the middle of the river, handsforth, was there were no laws. There were no laws when I was out there when I had hugged them. And I must have their hair up. You, stop. It's become a pattern that you keep rescuing boys from the river and then hug them. They are drowning.

Y'all, you all didn't see them. They were drowning out there. God. Now, before we get them off, let's do one more group hug and then one individual hug with me and each one. No, sir. I can't step on shore, by the way, boys. There's some stuff happening. On a couple lists.

On a couple of lists. A couple lists that I don't want to talk about. That's why I live out here. River is my, river is my life. River is my home. River's my home. I got a water mansion. All right, I got to go.

All right, no, I'm going. No, no, no, I feel y'all want me to go. I'm going to get out of here. Yeah, I get out. I'm feeling the, I feel the energy. I'm sure there are more children to save. Go miss the hell out of these kids. All right.

That's it. Here we go. There is a great deal of this. It's hard to leave. I can't be honest. Nobody ever asked me questions about my yawboats. Y'all don't know what it's called that? No.

All right. There is a great deal of carelessness manifested by parents in regard to their children, and it is a growing evil. It is not unusual to see children of not more than three or four years of age straying in dangerous localities along. the wharves. On whose shoulders would the blame lie if they were drowned? I'll tell you who's. God damn it.

Yeah. The journalist is just following around three and four-year-olds just being like, oh, you're up to no good. I should push them in. She'll make a point. I should show them by pushing those boys in. Four-year-olds just rambling wandering like stray dogs. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what I picture of 1850. I picked, that's how I picture 1853. I don't picture someone like, that's dangerous. Oh, no, there's no, that's dangerous. That's why you have 11 kids. You'd be like, yeah, you're going to lose like four to drowning. Three to TB.

You boys, why don't you set the dock on fire while you're on it out there? Yeah. And if they escape a watery grave, who will save them from drowning in the lakes of moral depravity that are to be found along the streets and docks of this city? Parents, take care of your children. Wow. Don't live near the docks. Yeah.

Docks are. So little to do, though. It's so little to do. You stick to dirt mounds. You hear me? Trash and dirt mounds. Go collect the fish and hooks in your feet. Preferably in your feet.

Take all the hook. You boys are covered in hooks. You got 17 today in the foot. Yeah. Well done. Yeah. That's like six kinds of tetanus. A tetanus.

Impressive. Stolen property. Officer Port arrested a woman in Windsor yesterday having in her possession a quantity of red flannel and several dark-colored straw hatch, hats which were undoubtedly stolen. The owners needed to convict her by identifying the property. The owners need to evictor. Basically, they found a poor lady with stuff.

Yeah, they found a woman with a lot of stuff. They're like, where'd you get it? But a lot of Canadian stuff, which they were a lot of flannel. They're like, we can't have these men and women in America wearing flannel, like those Canucks. This woman's trying to start grunge again. And what, isn't Windsor? Windsor's not in Canada. It's not in Canada.

It's just right over the border, I guess. Yeah. Is it? I thought it was. Because I remember you could go to Windsor and get drunk if you were like 17 or 16. in the 80s Windsor is a charter township

in Eaton County, Michigan It's like unincorporated Yeah It is different from Windsor Ontario Which is a community city That's what I was thinking Yeah Yeah

I think a lot of kids died When they would drive up To get drunk in Canada I hope so Damn Well the t-totaler speaks up Yeah, that'd be awesome to go to that bar, like my age now, walk in there and be like, this place pretty cool, a lot of like 17-year-old kids, it's awesome.

You guys want to hear some stories about being an old man? It's like hard enough to go into a place with 28-year-olds. Yeah, 17-year-olds. Boy, they're getting younger and younger. This is crazy. So what's your favorite Pokemon? Any of you remember TRL? I was negative five when that was out.

Oh, man. The latest from Utah. Oh. Uh-oh. The Mormons remain at Provo yet, not wishing to bring their females near the soldier boys. Jesus Christ. I just, I mean, on, on, Jesus Christ, not wanting to bring their females. Well, you get them around the soldier boys.

and then they get they're getting the six i take them to the park let them run the energy out this was like right before the civil war like what are the soldiers like there's just like what's going on oh they're fighting the soldier boys are just like fucking marching down the street and yeah don't let the ladies near them when was the mormon war i mean it's definitely they're definitely out there to fight native americans but uh that was that was a that was a war that went on for a while uh Utah War of 1857 to 1858. Oh, wow.

Bada Bing. What was that war all about? Between Mormon settlers and troops over them having their own territory. They're like, we found a fake Bible. They're like, no, you didn't. We're going to start some shit about this. You're coming up with fake Bibles. We're fucking attacking.

I mean, you got to. They found a fake Bible. And they're like, apparently we could take eight wives. No, no, no. The general's like, sounds a little dodgy, I'd say. It's on the front page of this one. No, no, you guys haven't read the found Bible. Once you read it, it'll totally be copacetic.

There's a whole thing. Wait do you read the part about anal? There's a whole section. Yeah. Well, one of the wives is for that. Oh, this is a long book, so you guys better just take some time to read it. didn't stop attacking us. Go to the diagram page.

I really didn't know there was a Mormon war that, like, exploded. I mean, it makes sense. It didn't. We tried to stamp out the Mormons a while ago. No, but they put them down. They put them down and just said, you guys can stay there. Yeah, that's right. Well, just be weird here.

They're like, oh, for fuck's sake, fine. Just stay there. Don't, do not leave. Just be weird here. Just be weird there with your little extra Bible. Awesome. the women were like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you guys were on the right track. Please, shut up and put your hoops on.

Kathy, you have some apologizing to do. They are living there, the majority at least, intense while their comfortable houses in this city remain vacant with all the doors and windows boarded up. Okay, so that, yeah, this must be when there's fighting going on. Right. None of the genteels can obtain house room either for dwellings or for store purposes. This is particularly hard on the merchants who have brought out large stocks of goods. Can we sell during the war? Sad.

You don't have any coax or sprites. It's kind of boring. I know. No. You got lame products. Flowers. Anyone want a flower? Do you like fantasy?

Anyone want to buy a woman? I've got nine. I've got nine. I've got nine. I've got nine women. We deserve rights, quiet. I wouldn't buy that one. She's a little yippie.

No reason is assigned by the Mormons for this dog in the manger policy, except as they say, they want first to see what the army will do and where it will locate. As yet, none have been. been able to procure sleeping apartments, except the governor, secretary, marshal, and commissioners. It's all the top guys. We have nice places. We're fine. That's cool.

And even most of them had for a while to sleep in their wagons, many of the merchants arrived in the city today. All right. What was the dog in the, in the, in the, yeah, dog in the manger. Dog in the manger. I don't know what that means. This isn't Jesus at all. In our Bible, Jesus is a dog. By the way, anal's, all systems go, nine wives.

It was a dog. He was born in April. Yeah. That's what it says in our Bibla. So we're going to do Christmas in April if that's cool with everyone for our dog, our dog. I mean, look, God is dog backwards. So I think that kind of tracks. That is when the army attack, they're like, no fucking way you're doing Christmas in April.

All right. We got to go kill him. They're doing a dog Jesus. This is just nuts. No. Oh, but it's a puppy. Good at him. It's very cute, but no.

Who's going to get worshipped? Who's a little good boy? Huh? All my dogs. All my dogs just were like, what? I mean, the fact that one of your dogs is, like, I love what animals sleep on pillows with their head. Oh, my God.

It's one of my favorite learned skills. And you're just, you're just interrupting. You're just in the way. Yeah, they're just like, he's doing that stupid shit again, talking to its imaginary friends. So a dog in the manger is someone. who selfishly prevents others from using or enjoying something, even though they cannot use it or enjoy it themselves.

Just, I mean, Oh, I can't have eight wives. I can't have eight wives. I'm going to go, I'm going to go stream with a guy with eight wives. All right, we got a real dog in the manger on this wife thing, getting a lot of pushback.

It's the party pooper of yesterday, I guess. This guy's fucking up our whole game, this dog in the manger. The army's pretty bad. They're nuts. They're saying one white. I think it would be, yeah, go on, sorry. A literal air castle.

What? No, this guy's like, and then it's an ad. Steiner, an aeronaut, has got a new idea in his head, which he proposes to put in practice on the occasion. He's the musk of their generation. He is. Of the New York State Fair at Syracuse this fall, he intends to have built a small house.

say about 10 square feet that's a really small house I mean it's very or are we calling it a shed or a house it's a dog house it's a house trust me it's a house if you're in the fucking sky

it's a house to you yeah okay yeah 10 feet in the sky okay and capable of containing in comfort four or five persons

No. No. No. No. Agreed. Agreed. All right. We're on the same page.

No way. Which, with its occupants, is to be slung beneath his large balloon. Star of the West and take it up to the clouds. Honestly, just absolute death. It's like a guy, a guy, he drank 14, 14 meads. And he was like, and then he read Jack and the Beanstalk. and he's like, Cloud House. Cloud House it is.

I was dying for an invention and the gods gave me one, Cloud House. Cloud House. You know, it's like I'm a drunk gulliver. Yeah. Drulliver. Yeah. How many people you think you can fit in here?

Oh, five people can fit there. And then obviously the balloon runs out. I mean, you live there for, what, 30 minutes? Yeah, it's just to tell. I mean, it's basically like a hot air balloon adventure, but instead, like, it would be like in the basket of the hot air balloon. You're like, you can fit 10 in here. Yeah.

It's like, let's have a quick dinner just to pretend like we live in a cloud. And then you're going up, you're like, how do we get down? He's like, I don't know. I can't believe you guys said, yeah. Oh, you can't. This is just an outhouse with a balloon. You can take off with the cloud house. But no one ever figured out how to land.

But no one ever figured out the landing. Oh, my God. This is a bad plan, sir. Yeah, I agree in retrospect. Well, that's our lives done. We have frequently heard of snakes visiting houses and of their sometimes having been found in and under beds, but we do not recollect ever having heard of as remarkable escape

as an awful death from a snake as the following. Wow. from Mr. T.W. Bliss, who was present. Oh, yeah. T.W. Bliss. Yeah, I'm sure that's your name. You fucking murdered somebody in some other town. And the snake took a knife.

About five weeks ago, two children of Jacob Schull were living about three and a half miles west from Washington, one age nine and one four. becoming weary from the excessive heat lay down on the bed shortly after dinner and we're soon fast to sleep sometime during the afternoon wait so dinner's lunch yeah no and then supper would be dinner

oh my god no I was just reading a book of the from that time and that's they're like dinner is at two o'clock supper I don't hate us insane now we call it keto that we call it starvation yeah

we could name these things anything we want I think that's the lesson here is that like what the fuck are we all calling it the same thing honestly yeah and how many for dinner oh our dinner's breakfast oh god

um mr shell and our informant who were working in a field were compelled to seek the house for shelter from a heavy shower. They'd scarcely entered when Mrs. Shell went to the bed to replace some of the covering

which had become displaced when a horrible sight met her eyes. The head of a huge rattlesnake projecting from between the children and its body in close proximity to theirs. That's actually not good. No. Yeah, no.

It's terrible. Or really good. Depending on. I don't agree. on your passion for your children. Yeah, I know. Correct. Oh, you'd be like, no, honey, honey, let him go.

Let him go. Let him finish this. Take the one on the left. Take the one on the lefty, lefty. Take the boy. Bite the boy. Hey, Hank, we put your head right near this. Put your head down by the front a little bit, would you?

If you hear a little bit of shaking, it's like a Maraca, just go close to the Maraca. He wants to hang out. He's ready to party. He likes that. Give him a big squeeze. Yeah. Try to dig his breakfast out of his stomach. Mrs. Shell was, of course, much frightened,

and there is not much doubt, but that it would have terminated fatally to at least one of the children had it not been for the providential arrival of the two men, who, with more presence of mind, quietly removed them from either side of the bed at the same time without alarming the snake. Wow, snake was...

What a lot of love. Lazy snake. I feel like a rattler would be honest. Yeah, the snake was just like, oh, that's cool. I get the bed to myself. I don't hate that. I thought I made two new friends, but here we go. Where are we all headed?

Hey, Timmy, can you get up? Listen, don't turn around, but just carefully slide off the bed. But don't turn around. Where are we going? That's fine. I'm just taking you off the bed really quietly. Okay. Okay, don't turn around.

Don't forget to take the snake. Uh, what? Where are we going, mom? And can we bring Steve in the snake? That's my fucking snake, mom. And now you're just strangling it. Okay, well, uh, and undoubtedly saving their lives. his snake ship

was then unceremoniously dispatched I mean, you're just making up words down. He's like, he's the ruler of the snakes. Yeah, I know he's like a lord snake. It proved to be a very large one with six rattles in its tail.

How it got there is a mystery. I don't know what the standard is, but that's hot. That's a lot of, yeah. I've seen a three rat. I've seen a three and a four rat. We had a six ratter here. Who the fuck? Bighton Maraca. Who is sleeping after that?

Oh, I'd sleep. You'd be able to sleep in the bed the next night? More than ever. Dave, you're forgetting this is how they live in Australia every day. Christ, you see the size of that spouta? Well, good night, Martha. And they dispatched, they dispatched the snake, so you're free. Yeah.

No, yeah. You're right on the next one. And so you got at least a week until the next Rattler shows up. Dispatched it. You go over there now. In Australia, in Australia, they're like, are there enough snakes in your bed? Yeah. You want a snike in your toilet.

It's what eats the sheep. It's a egg. Don't flash. Let the snike eat it all. All right. Last one. All right. The highest descent of Mount Blanc.

Mr. Walford, a Cambridge, England from England student, has made the highest ascent of Mount Blanc this year. He was determined, he said, to go higher than, I don't know what that is. What's M-L-L-E dot? well msse no

oh yeah maybe it's a my lord mal lord malol mili oh mademois

oh mademoiselle mademoiselle mademois yeah it would be strange to be like I'm going to go higher than any woman on this mountain

they're not allowed to climb it especially especially because it's named after a pen yes Penn Mountain All right, so... You've heard of the fountain pen.

Well, I got you one better. We'll see, mademoiselle. Mademoiselle de Augville, who went up last summer and therefore went on the summit, was lifted upon the shoulders of his guide, who, in like manner, was lifted upon the shoulders of his companions. No. Mr. W., in this manner,

succeed in mounting higher than any of the visitors to Mount Blanc. Oh, God. That is not a viable way to top a mountain. I agree. It's like, could I get on my, could I get on me friend? Can you imagine saying that to your Sherpa? All right, put me on your shoulders. All right, here we go.

Lift us both. I'm taking credit, I'm taking credit, but you're going to take me up there. Yeah. I gave you 35 cents. I gave you 35 cents, motherfucker. Lift me up. Toss me. Boys, on the count of three, we all jump.

I know there's no oxygen, but now's a good time to just put me up. on your shoulders. All right. I'm going to get on Ralph's shoulders. That does show some sort of entitlement there. Yeah, that guy had to be the one who's like, yeah. Thank you. Oh, Christ. Well, there you go, Michael. I don't know what to tell you. I mean, that's this is eight years. Thank you for knowing the supper arrangement more than any of our previous guests. Oh, yeah. It's a very bizarre situation. What book were you reading? I was reading ghost stories. sure and there's just a lot of ghost stories from the mid-1800s and they're always talking about I dressed for dinner and I supped with you know

Carolin Saint-Clair so and then there's a ghost and then there's a fucking ghost and then there was a ghost it was unsettling yeah of course well thank you don't Thank you for having me. You are the greatest. People can listen to a gaggle of red flags or sad songs to get sad to wherever people stream or get music. What is your preferred way people would get this?

Just buy the album? Is that number one? I guess buy the album, but that seems to be something from another time like these newspapers. Don't let them know. Don't let them know. Yes, it's only available for purchase. Don't be jerks.

Give my kids. Yes. Yeah, no, stream it so the artist doesn't make any money. It's pretty good. It all goes to a corporation. Do that. Oh, no, I think that that's for the best, and at least somebody heard it. Well, who's going to not build the parks if we don't give the corporations all the money?

Thank you. Thank you. You rest your case. Thank you, Michael. Appreciate you for having me. Thanks so much for letting me be on this. We love you. You'll come back.

Thank you, Doug. All right. And as we do with all of our guests. at the end you're fired thank you very much I look forward to that some of these days you'll miss me honey

some of these days hey dollop fans I know you love the dollop you love listening to the dollop do you want to watch the dollop you're like Gareth what are you talking about by the way it's not Gary it's Gareth well we have partnered with

Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch a five-partner animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, I can't remember, of the Rube, you can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube. It really genuinely kicks ass,

and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. already making a second one. So go there and watch the Rube.