The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 140 - The Past Times with Corey Ryan Forrester

Episode Date: August 29, 2025

Dave Anthony reads a paper to co-host Gareth Reynolds and comedian Corey Ryan Forrester   Mint Mobile

Yeah, the dollop is brought to you by mood, not just like moods. Yep. Moods don't have sponsors. We're talking about mood. Correct. Online cannabis company, revolutionizing how we deal with life's challenges. You know, you got sleepless nights, can't sleep a little bit. You got stress-filled days, you're a little bit freaking out on edge.

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Big fan. Big fan. Totally. You got sleepy time gommies that'll put you. Sleepy time gommies are so helpful. Yeah. I can't.

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You're not just going to find gummies like this in a dispensary or really anywhere, for that matter. Special stuff. And they have gummies for literally everything. I mean, support, menopause relief, PMS symptoms, mental clarity, sexual arousal. Oh, boy. But you can get that from just listening to my voice. And each one is crafted using federally legal cannabis grown on small family owned American farms. no pesticides, no BS, and they can ship to most states in the U.S.

Best of all, not only does Mood stand behind everything with an industry-leading 100-day satisfaction guarantee, but listeners get 20% off their first order with code dollop. Head to Mood.com, browse their amazing selection of functional gummies, and find the perfect gummy for whatever you're dealing with, and remember to use promo code Dullop at checkout to save 20% on your first order. I recently went to visit my buddy Phil in Ontario a little while ago, and he was like, oh, yeah, just come over, stay at my place.

You know, and I was like, buddy, love you, but probably not going to do that. So I ended up booking an Airbnb in like the village of Chippewa right on the well land, I believe, canal. And, yeah, it was awesome. I had like, there was like a little dock. There were big windows. The whole nature meets city vibe. It was perfect.

By day three, like Phil was like, can I crash here? And I was like, no, you have a home. But he did. And that's really when it hit me, that someone had to be hosting this place that they weren't even there. But they're making money while we're just sitting out on the dock, drinking coffee, watching geese. having a good laugh with each other. So if you've got the space, it's a practical way to earn some extra cash to go towards whatever, car payments, cat food, groceries, whatever. Without it taking over your life. It's flexible. It's on your schedule. And it works around your lifestyle.

Whether you're at home or you're off visiting your own fill in another city. So if you've ever thought about hosting your own place, this is your sign. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca.com slash host. All right, everybody, welcome to the pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date and history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I've never seen it before, and neither is our guest this week's The Great. Maybe you're our Tom Hinks of S&L host of The Past Time. King of the fart memos

Corey Ryan Forrester Hello bad news by the way Dave may have heard because he popped in the studio as I was sitting here alone

going through my phone the fart files have been lost This is Epstein This is yeah Some are saying that there never were Fart Files Were you in them? If I was

was um so was clinton you know what i mean so you were i think on this show we have heard you in them well i don't know what to tell you i just looked at my i think you are the fart files well you know many people are saying this but i looked on my phone and uh it's my phone that i actually curate everything and i'm in charge of and there's no fart files so i don't know what to tell you your wife got a hold of it and deleted them i would love it if my wife was that tricky you know I feel like, I feel like women that court that type of deceit are into anal and she's not. Jesus Christ. Well, you know what I mean.

Tricksters. No, I don't know. Tricksters. What do you mean tricksters? Well, you know women? What do they hide grass over their anus and then you slip in? You know those type of women who like when you're asleep, they'll put your phone in front of your face so it unlocks it so they can go into their phone? What are you talking about?

I've always just assumed that the tradeoff for being with that type of woman is some bear back hanky-panky. you know what I mean stanky pinky stanky your brain is broken it's not it doesn't work

the way it should work right I'm in the only career I'm in the only career path that accepts a person's brain to be broken like mine

and frankly I'm not even doing that well in it so I don't know excuse me Facebook Reel would tell a different story okay bitter Also, I don't like that you said, Corey has never read this paper before.

You don't fucking know how many papers I read. What's with you today? Well, you just think because you've never been on the, nobody's ever been on this show more that you can just come in here, start doing your anal witchwife stuff and think you're going to get away with it. You know what it is? My therapist actually did tell me that I don't take compliments well. And I think when you were like, this guy's like, this guy's like the Tom Hanks of the show.

I'm like, burn it down. Alienate everyone. Just like Tom Hanks. Just like Tom Hanks. Well, Corey, what do you got, what are you promoting? Well, I mean, we're going to, I'm going to see you in Chattanooga next weekend. I know, and I'm so very excited for that. I will, I will be back at the in Chattanooga in September,

and you can get all the tickets at Corey Ryan Forster.com. I don't know when this comes out because I know that y'all like to. It's not coming up. Okay, good. Okay, here we go. Get ready, Dave. He's going to put a little mustard on something here. Go, Corey.

What are you going to say? Well, we what? Actually, I was just going to say it. He's pivoting live. I don't know when this is coming out, but I guess it's evergreen to say that I just want to show my great appreciation that two of the all-time podcast gods would not only have me on their show, but have me on multiple times and give me a moniker like the Tom Hanks of pastimes. Like I was actually getting emotional. I don't know what your problem is right now. I have a new podcast coming out called Public Domain Sleepy Time Theater, where I read you a bedtime story.

How in the fuck do you have another pot? You two. You two have problems. Well, what are you doing? Dave, we're filling the hole with pocket. I think that's fine. Yeah. Also, I need money.

So it's called public domain sleepy times. I honestly, honestly, I think Corey just says he has these so that it corroborates when he goes to his attic. So his wife thinks he's up there doing it when in reality is just drinking beers whacking off. I'm actually surprisingly sober for six weeks today. Can you believe that? Yeah. What's weird is you don't look better. I know.

dude that's what is it that's what i wanted to talk to you about i've noticed no benefits whatsoever i still feel better i mean what is better you know what i mean what is wake up clear-headed and like it uh yeah yes and no wake up clear-headed yes like it absolutely not um i hate being so aware of everything all the time like the the drunk yeah you know it gets harder as as everything really really twists and falls apart it gets a little harder to for me I just keep being like I mean what am I going to just start smoking cigarette I know again

what is like that's my doomsday clock and now too like for the past six weeks like every time I've had diarrhea like oh you earn that like that wasn't even something you can just blame on I had a couple with the boys like you just and I'm still eating Taco Bell which I thought was behavior of just a drunk man but it's

not like I'm just a piece of shit but I was in arguably more fun of a piece of shit when I was drunk So, like, and I didn't, I don't think I hit women. I mean, I blacked out every now and then, but I feel like I've got a phone call. What is going on right now? The start of this episode, Corey, I'll speak for the fans, has felt a lot of questionable behavior towards women, I would say. Well, all I wanted to see, how are you responding to those critics who for sure exist?

All I wanted to say was that I have a new podcast called Public Domain Sleepy Time Theater, where I read you a bedtime story. This first season is The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. No, I don't say it. I don't say it. I don't say the word because I feel like that's a, you know, when you're trying to sleep, you don't want to hear the hard R. So I changed it to a slightly less racist slur each chapter. I just pick a different one.

And you can get that at we love cori.com. That is my bonus site where I have all sorts of stuff. And coming soon, my new podcast, I swear to God, sorry, Dave, four score and seven beers. It's a history podcast. and I'll probably start drinking again. So, okay. It's awesome.

Yeah. It's, you are the buckshot of broadcasting. You are, you're like Dick Cheney hunting with podcasts. That's right. It's just blast them. And I need a metal heart.

Oh, look at you with the LaCroix. Well, it's lemon shell. I don't know, but this, it's almost like there's La Croy and then there's Limoncello, Lecroy. What is that? What? What is that? What do you mean? Well, I was getting a fecal transplant the other day and my poop and my poop and my poopologist suggested that I. Dave, how real is what he just said? Scale of one to know.

Do you, you, you cut out there, what? How real do you believe what he just said about a fecal transplant? I don't think he got a fecal transplant, but I just think he is. I think he recently heard about them and he's into the idea. Ding, ding, ding, Dave Anthony calling me out. Could be a new podcast. Yeah. We know a comedian who had a fecal transplant.

We do? Go ahead. Yeah, I'll tell you later off. Yes, we know we, we, or at least I do. I think you would know who she is. What is the upside? You get someone, some people's poop hits harder and helps your belly more so you get their part of, no.

Yeah, right, as you get their, their good bacteria. She was close to. Oh, gross, it was a lady. Yeah, Corey, Corey, listen, the numbers of our female listeners have been cut in half by you before we even got to the part of the show that's premise space. Do you know how impossible that is to do? She was close to death, so I don't remember why, but yeah, she almost died in the fetus fecal transplant like saved her life. Man, if I recall correctly. Man, it must be an honor to have your poop be the donor poop.

Man, how relieved was the doctor that invented fecal transplants when it worked out? Because, you know, before that, they were like, what do you think? I was thinking, we got to get her some different poop. You know what I mean? But how about that pitch where they're like, hey, Dave, can we actually, can we talk to you over here? What's going on with you lately? I'm fine. So your wife left and then, well, yeah, she's going.

I'm telling you, this good action. work i think you could just we're not going to shove someone else's poop in a different person's ass that's good saying i'm so sorry for my existence it does something to your stomach in your and your and your digestive system yeah i enjoy it yeah i enjoy the look i just can't believe like the first doctor that uh that came up with washing hands they put in an insane asylum where he was eventually murdered. And I can't believe that didn't happen in the guy who was like,

let's put shit in people's stomachs. I can't believe we're not exhuming that guy stuffing him and putting him in the Oval Off. All right, Corey, this is your 44th appearance. So, you know the deal. We want you to guess what year this paper's from. I'm also going to guess. There's going to be no context.

You're going to win. It's really become so stupid. Go ahead. I'm going to go. All right. Well, thanks for, oh. Oh, God, you're so quick, Garris. Well, stop.

I wish it translated to, like, digital media, you know. But in person, it's great. Yeah. We're all trying to find a way. Imagine being me. It's a real disappointing nightmare. I'm going to go with 1932. Oh, wow.

No. 1899. Oh, Corey wins. It's 1892. September 3rd. The Philadelphia Times, Philadelphia Petson fame. You know what I don't care for? The showboating of Corey just accepting the non-reality of you.

That's right. He won. I won. All right, anyway, Philadelphia. When a white man tells you you've won, you don't question it. You win and you move on. Oh, Christ. Thank you.

I am going to storm the capital over this. should uh it is the philadelphia times from uh philadelphia pennsylvania you drunk a little bit uh and let's just get into this uh philadelphia has a current illiteracy rate of over 60 percent so i can't imagine how stupid they were yeah it's nuts look it up if i'm wrong which i probably am you know what that's cori's new Podcasts, stuff I'm assuming. Yep. Are they,

have they started picking up the trash there? In Philly, no. Oh, that's fucking great. Okay. By the way, I was there not too long ago, and it was one of the Smellier City's pre-N-Trash pick. And I bet you no one read to you. Not a person.

Dave is upset. Corey, how come you're not facing the camp? It's a choice. I don't like my, I, you know how you never see the Simpsons face on, because they're more profiled characters. My profile looks so much better than me face on. And I don't like...

Let's see a face on real quick. Nope. Can't do it. Come on. Give us again. Not good. And this side of my face is no good. Is that?

Oh, my God. That's why they call you Corey the Moon. Yes, that is why they do. They do. My, as my grandpa used to say, that pie-faced Vietnamese-looking boy that has my last name. It's what he would say. All right. Dave.

That's wonderful. What a great Oh my God Dave who's left listener wise Nobody It's bad It's just the guys who get upset When we're just like man

Trump sucks I thought I knew you I've been listening to this show For 15 years I've listened from the beginning And this is the first time I heard politics ejected into this By the way

Someone posted There's a high school in Georgia That built a A stadium football stadium that's larger than like a lot of high school of a lot of college stadiums as they should and i just put and i just put under it as a comment the teacher salary the average teacher salary in that district and uh people are going eapshit well you know until 400 people show up to watch you do math under the lights on friday night you can suck my dick okay that's exactly what the comments are i know i made them you can pay the teachers well and build this state la la la la la la la la la what are you talking about a historical heifer

this is a story from london apparently new cori podcast out of London the heifer which attacked and knocked down Mr. Gladstone in the park at Hawarden on Wednesday evening last so everyone's like oh yeah that quickly they already know everybody already knows about this cow in this one cow town everybody does

yeah although dead having been pursued and killed when Mr. Gladstone gave the alarm has acquired a high market at value. So a cow a cow knocked down a man in a park and killed him. And now is the, and now is a bank

Oh no, just attack. Just attacked. The Mr. Glass is not dead, but he got knocked down. And then they, he screamed out, oh my God, the cow it. And then people chased the cow down and killed it. And now it's worth a lot of money. Soon after the heifer was shot, a local

speculator procured the hide for five pounds and sent his purchase he has been offered as high as 50 pounds for the hide but has steadfastly refused to be tempted to part with his prize. So this is like their crypto. That's because 50 pounds in Philadelphia in whenever you said, I just know I won.

That's like 10 million. You don't even remember the goddamn year. Oh, right on. This happened in London. London. Even better. Okay. well of course they're saying i don't know why in my brain i was like i didn't know

philadelphia used pounds back in the day but yeah yeah yeah i it was a good catch it's funnier that it's a it's funnier that it's a funny that it's an english person it's way funnier violence against the english is always funnier especially in this time just monocles and caps dropping out of them oh also i bet you the cow did not attack this british I bet the cow was just being a cow and the British person was in the area of the cow being a cow. And also, because cows don't, I've been around a lot of cows. This is bullish behavior, not cow. Yeah.

Yeah, unless you fuck with the cow or fuck with the calf, then it'll fuck with you back. A cow will let you walk up to it and stick your arm up to the elbow in its ass without doing anything. Why would you do that? Why would you do that? Because it allows you. Yeah, it lets you. No, but that's not why we do. things because we're allowed that is a extremely anti-social behavior to do what you just said but

Dave did you hear you're allowed to do it you are allowed to do it right I you are like the cow will let you but again exactly all right you get it that's not why we do and don't do things Cory how can we break this down in a way where he stops talking well I'm for I'm really good friends with people who jack bulls off for a living and you actually do it up their ass not you don't stroke their winner you you hit the prostate uh which is which by the way is proof that god made us all gay and we all chose to be different i'm glad you talked to your wife about this i'm glad the gays have just left the podcast too i don't talk to my wife about anything no nothing we just it's hey how was bane today good awesome do you want to watch mr robot sure do honey okay

Mr. Robot. It's a good show. There's two seasons. Three. No, there's four. You didn't like it. I couldn't get past the, I couldn't get past the, I did the first, then it was out. Second, it's good.

It's a little weird. You couldn't get past the elbow up the cow's ass, which I think would also be a fair statement. Yeah. Okay. Another man who obtained possession of the heifer's head was declined to accept an offer of 10 pounds made for all the teeth. Which find a ready market at two pounds, six shillings each. That was definitely for it to replace it.

If you know, this cow's got lovely chompers. It's impossible to buy. I'll give you 10 quid to put those cows' teeth inside of my dome. Does that sound new? I've been having what we call nightmares chewing. Are these regular cow prices? Or do people just want parts of this? cow because it knocked the guy down.

No, these are not regular cow prices. We've always been obsessed with true crime. You've heard of the bull market. This is a cow market. This is a cow market, my guy. The only way I would pay 50 pounds for a dead cow is if it was literally the cow that jumped over the moon. That would be a cow worth having.

Yeah. I don't disagree with that at all. Although, you know, that also. feels like that's an easy one to just lie to a lie about some people say it never happened no well Dave you're the history the guy did that cow jump over the moon thoughts and let's let's maybe hang you did okay great yeah yeah that's where the what year was that well let me guess I was 17 17 the year 17 yeah that's right it was yeah I didn't even get a okay hmm Um, the magistrate was swindled.

For some time past, a skillful swindler has been plying his trade among the residents of the 15th ward, succeeding until yesterday in making handsome returns from the pocket books of his victims on the capital invested in a sheet of letter paper and envelope. Several times the police have been warned by those whose credit, I can't read that word. has lost them money, but efforts to entrap him have until yesterday proved futile. The man's method, the man's methods was to address a note to any person whom he thought could be worked, side with the name of and purporting to come from an intimate friend of the recipient. So he's forging a letter saying it's from a guy. But it's so great that, it's so great to be in an era where it's like, oh my God, that's Me! I know.

Added to the list of it's always great when British people get injured, I will add, love it when a magistrate gets swindled. I love it. It's awesome. It's set me down in front of the TV for some magistrate swindling. Allow me to ignore the shortcoming of specifics and turn over my pocketbook. My law. I do hate to break this to you guys, but this is Philadelphia.

Well, yeah, but it's still fun. Yeah. also you don't be I wanted to be an English person yes it could have been I still choose for it to be okay

okay you can do that there were London transplants to Philadelphia allow me to do a little backstory oh I've just come here

I can't believe my friends reached me that simply I've not even gotten my address from the postal union why here you are allow me to turn over

my pocketbook it says here some prints in Zimbabwe needs my money in order to be freed. Cricky, it sounds like long-term, this is a wise investor. I've always wanted to court favor with a Zimbabwean. I've just moved here a little while ago.

This is just the upstart of bloke like me's after. Allow me to turn over my pocketbook and its entire fillings. Here you are, friend. you tell this Zimbabwean acquaintance whose name escapes me that I can't wait for round two of this exciting endeavour. By the way, I've been a bit saddened lately. A friend of mine was attacked by a cow. So this is just the good news I've needed.

Shot the arm of good news, I say. Jolly good news. Allow me to turn over my pocketbook. And its contents entirely. I stopped listening a while ago, so just let me know. Bravo. Whenever. Well, there you are.

Now I'm off down the road for a bit of bubble and squeak and bourbon. And a pickled onion, if I have my druthers. Gareth, the pastime was brought to you by Mint Mobile. Whoa, Dave. You know what doesn't belong in your amazing summer plans, right? Well, hi bills with my phone. That's right. Getting burned by your wireless bill.

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You're a little bit freaking out on edge. How about a little mood, Gareth? Take it. Enjoy it. Mood.com has created an entire line of functional gummies that target specific health concerns with 100% federally legal THC blends to deliver them discreetly right to your doorstep.

That's right. Discreetly. Oh, yeah. You don't even know this person's been there. No, no one walks up and screams. There's stuff in here. Just there. It's like Santa.

That's right. And you can get 20% off your first order at Mood.com with promo code dollop. Yeah, they got gummies. They got everything. It's the stuff. It's the gummy. It's the way to go. Big fan.

Big fan. Totally. You got sleepy time gummies that'll put you. Sleepy time gummies are so helpful. Yeah. I can't. Many people struggle with sleep. Get a sleepy time gummy.

What makes these different is how they've paired THC and other cannabinoids, which is a word that people shouldn't. With herbs and adaptogens. You're not just going to find gummies like this in a dispensary or really anywhere, for that matter. Special stuff. And they have gummies for literally everything. I mean, support, menopause relief, PMS symptoms, mental clarity, sexual arousal. Oh, boy.

But you can get that from just listening to my voice. And each one is crafted using. federally legal cannabis grown on small family-owned American farms, no pesticides, no BS, and they can ship to most states in the U.S. Best of all, not only does Mood stand behind everything with an industry-leading 100-day satisfaction guarantee, but listeners get 20% off their first order with code Dallop. Head to Mood.com, browse their amazing selection of functional gummies, and find the perfect for whatever you're dealing with and remember to use promo code dollup at checkout to save 20%

on your first order. I recently went to visit my buddy Phil in Ontario a little while ago and he was like, oh yeah, just come over, stay at my place. You know, and I was like, buddy, love you, but probably not going to do that. So I ended up booking an Airbnb in like the village of Chippewa right on the well well land i believe canal and um yeah it was awesome i had like uh there's like a little dock there were big windows the whole nature meets city vibe it was perfect by day three like phil was like can i crash here and i was like no you have a home um but he did and uh

and that's really when it hit me that someone had to be hosting this place that they weren't even there but they're making money while we're just sitting out on the dock drinking coffee watching geese having a good laugh with each other so if you've got the space it's a practical way to earn some extra cash to you know go towards whatever uh car payments cat food groceries whatever without it taking over your life it's flexible it's on your schedule and it works around your lifestyle whether you're at home or you're off visiting your own fill in another city so if you've ever thought about hosting your own place, this is your sign. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca.com slash host. Yeah, the dollup is brought to you by

mood. Not just like moods. Yep. Moods don't have sponsors. We're talking about mood. Correct. Online cannabis company revolutionizing how we deal with life's challenges. You know, You got sleepless nights. You can't sleep a little bit. You got stress-filled days. You're a little bit freaking out on edge. How about a little mood, Gareth? Take it.

Enjoy it. Mood.com has created an entire line of functional gummies that target specific health concerns with 100% federally legal THC blends. They'll deliver them discreetly right to your doorstep. That's right. Discreetly. Oh, yeah. You don't even know this person's been there.

No, no one wants. walks up and screams. There's stuff in here. Just there. It's like Santa. That's right. And you can get 20% off your first order at Mood. Dot com with promo code dollop.

Yeah, they got gummies. They got everything. It's the stuff. It's the gummy. It's the way to go. Big fan. Big fan. Totally.

You got sleepy time gummies that'll put you. Sleepy time gummies are so helpful. Yeah. I can't. Many people struggle with sleep. Get a sleepy time gummy. What makes these different is how they've paired THC and are their canna benoids, which is a word that people shouldn't.

With herbs and adaptogens. You're not just going to find gummies like this in a dispensary or really anywhere, for that matter. Special stuff. And they have gummies for literally everything. I mean, support, menopause relief, PMS symptoms, mental clarity, sexual arousal. Oh, boy. But you can get that from just listening to my voice. and each one is crafted using federally legal cannabis grown on small family-owned American farms.

No pesticides, no BS, and they can ship to most states in the U.S. Best of all, not only does Mood stand behind everything with an industry-leading 100-day satisfaction guarantee, but listeners get 20% off their first order with code Dallop. Head to Mood.com, browse their amazing select. of functional gommies and find the perfect gummy for whatever you're dealing with. And remember to use promo code dollop at checkout to save 20% on your first order. I recently went to visit my buddy Phil in Ontario a little while ago. And he was like, oh yeah, just come over, stay at my place.

You know, and I was like, buddy, love you, but probably not going to do that. So I ended up booking an Airbnb in like the village of Chippewa right on the well land, I believe, canal. And yeah, it was awesome. I had like, there was like a little dock, there were big windows, the whole nature meets city vibe. It was perfect. By day three, like Phil was like, can I crash here? And I was like, no, you have a home. Um, but he did. And, uh, and that's really when it hit me that someone had to be hosting this place that they weren't even there, but they're making money while we're just sitting out on the dock, drinking coffee, watching geese, having a good laugh with each other. So if you've got the space, it's a practical way to earn some extra cash to, you know, go towards whatever, uh, car payments, cat food, groceries, whatever, um, without it taking over your life. It's flexible. It's on your schedule.

and it works around your lifestyle, whether you're at home or you're off visiting your own fill in another city. So if you've ever thought about hosting your own place, this is your sign. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca. I'm working on a character, and he's a guy who he has really funny quips,

but he always has them like too late when the conversations moved on. Can I give you an example? Yeah. Boy, that must have been a mad cow. I mean, you know what? This is what I like him. And I also think we should each, every guest and the host should be allowed what we call one circle back. Retroactive, yeah.

Where we go back and go, hey, here's one I just thought of, my yacht pun. Yeah, exactly. The letters were badly written and the spelling was not above reproach. Told you. Philadelphia fucking told you. Can't read. They're right. Vindicated, bitch.

Oh, my God. So we got a Southern guy who finally found a place that has illiteracy at a high rate. And racism. And racism. Not bad. It's good news for. Why do you think the Fresh Prince left? I didn't even know.

I don't know anything about the Fresh Prince's background. He was from West Philadelphia, born and raised. Born and raised. On a playground is where he spent most of his. days. Chilling out, Max and Relaxing on Cool. He was shooting from Zeebao. He said the N word near my old school.

Yeah. Where they didn't teach reading. Where they didn't teach reading. Go ahead, Dave. Yeah, but the victims seem not to have considered that until too late. He overreached himself, however, when yesterday he

sent a letter to Alexander McCoy, a groceryman requesting $10. The note was signed with his daughter's name and that fact aroused his suspicions as Miss McCoy was not in the city. So he decided to lay a trap for the man

and accordingly placed a $10 bill in an envelope and gave it to the boy who delivered the request and then started out himself to find a police. Was it tied to a fishing line and he was just somewhere else? There you are, boys. It's just doing that real out to the ocean noise. And then he just, the pole rips out of his hands.

Air, an enormous floor. Before the boy got out of sight, the amateur detective found... What are their names? The dog's names are Larry Pablo and Maple. Aw. I love that. And now they're going to behave. That's how it works.

We're about to hear a gunshot. So... What if there was just like a dead blue... leading bird on the floor that Dave never told us about. The dogs are just freaking out. Dave's just like sitting there as they're just chewing on raven brains. It's not great when a cat brings a bird in, but when a dog brings a bird in, it's a lot worse. I can tell you that right now.

You ever had a bird bring a dog in? That's a tough day. Tell you what? I did see a video the other day of a hawk like getting a yorky, like someone was walking with their yorky and a hawk just like, and it was. sad like but it's still fucking hilarious it's one of there is that intersection where you're like oh that's the saddest thing i've ever seen and comedically timed out as well as unreal to be quite honest unreal yeah um so he finds a cop and uh policeman bates bates followed the boy

and as soon as he delivered the letter to a man in logan square he arrested him the man gave his name as thomas kelly and after a visit to the station house Kelly was taken to Magistrate O'Brien's office for a hearing. And while the hearing was in progress, the letter asking for $10 was handed to the magistrate, who then saw the writing, reached down in his desk, brought out one of exactly the same kind. The magistrate himself had been swindled.

Kelly was placed under $1,000 bail for a further hearing this morning. That's a big bail for that time. That is a huge. that is a huge bail and that's a huge fuck up bringing out the same matching letter you're like well uh yeah yeah yeah I did it man I feel like I mean I'm a different type of cat I'd be so embarrassed to be that magistrate that I would not have brought that up I would have just let that one go yeah yeah because you'd be embarrassed to say you got swindled right and you would just and you could just hit him with the the huge bail and be like you son of him You'll get him for the one swindling without making yourself look like a dumbass. Because I, too, am a huge dumbass. Yeah, a swindle-e. But again, this is a magistrate probably with no education because it's Philadelphia.

Right. As I've learned from. 100%. That's why it's called a hearing and not a reading. They can hear fine. You see, their ears work. Their eyes don't. Yep.

I'll hear all day, folks. Send all your comments on Twitter to Corey. Lizzie Borden in jail. Oh, no. Fall River. That sounds like a cow's name, Lizzie Borden, you know? No. Well, it's a lot worse.

Yeah. She's a, was she a murderer? Oh. I think that she, I think that she didn't do it but there's like a whole like song or poem about how she killed her parents

yeah right so Miss Lizzie board was taken not so funny now is it Corey I mean I'd have to hear her out you know what the parents did because like I don't know if you've seen the recent Menendez stuff but like free them you know what I mean

what does that mean I think free one of them just for comedy let them out their parents sucked why they just they sucked well Dave do you need to any other reason, especially you being you and that they were wealthy. You know, I know

you, I've seen your post, you want all of them to die. No one should have any money and they had some and therefore they should die. I love. This truly is like, there was this guy the other day who commented on some post like he goes, yeah, it was like somebody in my post like some Trump

thing and he was like, whatever, you know, anti-Trump. And I was like I commented something anti-Trump as well and this guy goes, you're not allowed to have an opinion. You and Dave were cucks for Biden and I was like hilarious what I go name one show me proof of one time where we were cucks for Biden he goes oh it was in a comment on a post I couldn't I couldn't find it because Dave blocked me out of the files are gone let me say this right now I've never met a person

who hates Joe Biden even on the Republican side more than probably Dave so like that is so stupid there's certainly nobody from with Dave's bad background. I mean, Dave said Biden is the worst president of his lifetime repeatedly. I know. I listen to the show. In the face of listeners, we're like, Dave, stop it. I, listen, I do I think Dave is responsible for Trump winning the last election? Absolutely. But he was just saying what we were all thinking, you know. Yes. Look, this is the democratic model. Yes, we all know this. But shut the fuck up. But shut up. How about just, shh.

Yeah. Shut up. It really does seem to be that way. And Dave... Those are January 21st problems, you idiots. Yeah. And Dave's just a fucking loud mouth, and I love it. Now we can't have Mark Hamill on the show because of Dave Anthony.

And now because of Biden, we have a Trump of fascist too. Here we go. There it is. Here it is. Okay. Here's the rhyme. Lizzie Borden took an act. She gave her mother 40 wax.

When she saw what she had done, she gave her father 41. But she was, I believe she was not convicted. Dave, I've heard enough. She did it. Okay. Miss Lizzie Board was taken from the Central Station at 1 o'clock this afternoon to the 129 train for taunton. She will remain there in the county jail until... She will be going to town for some taunton.

People there will have their way with her, make fun of her, and then she'll be taken back to prison. Until the sitting grand jury in November. She was accompanied by Marshall Hilliard. detective seber and reverend buck there was a large and curious crowd at the depot why was the reverend there were they filming a british mystery or something where they're like we have a detective but we need a vicar jesus christ one train ride with these people and no murder what a wasted opportunity lizzie you're the red herring in the whole fuck me there was a large and curious crowd at the depot she was not disturbed in the least by the gaze of a hundred spectators and if

anything she looked firmer and more contented than she has appeared since the hearing was open fan of the gays so i don't know i mean the gays really showed up for her a hundred gays looking upon her what happened she was a gay i think you're saying she was a gay yes you said she was a fan of the gays looking at her by the way so did i say gays i think so yeah um lizzie borden was But you kind of shouted it. Like, yeah, there was some... The gays! Yeah, you did it like that.

It was just like shitty. That's the only way you can say. The gays! I don't know another way to do it. Nope. Three-year-old John Calvin was taken to Pennsylvania hospital. That is a hilarious sentence. You never think of someone named John Calvin being three years old.

Hello, John Calvin, three-year-old. Nice to meet you. Now, before we get... into anything too deeply. Who is everybody here? Let's do, let's go around the room. Names, occupations, favorite food. Also, I have just shit myself and I will need someone to take care of that, hint sweet. Hence sweet's not worth.

Also, if I'm short with anyone, it's because I'm a little crabby. I didn't have a nap today and I didn't sleep too good either because of gas. Now, let's get to the bottom of this, boys. Three-year-old John Calvin was taken to Pennsylvania Hospital last evening. with a fish bone in his throat. Up to a late hour, up to a late hour, the bone had not been extracted.

What the doctor's like, if my instincts are right, which they normally are, he'll pass this bone with his intestinal tract. And it'll come out slowly looking like a tail. I'm a snake doctor,

and I do believe the special enzymes inside of this boy's throat will allow him to take this bone, right through him. I mean, maybe it's going to work itself out, right? I think it will for sure. Like a sliver.

Absolutely. Who is just, who is giving their three-year-old debone, non-deboned fish? Like, is three-year-old John Calvin's just sitting there eating a fish that still got the eyeballs on it just with his little baby fork? Sometimes you've got to get it in there.

Yeah. Like, I can't even give my son a lollipop. I should point out. John's a bear So he's a cub We were down by the river Not a case of cholera

Okay good Joseph Atunis Whom D Dr. Beck reported last night As a cholera suspect is not infected The pest You're under arrest

possession of cholera His illness is due to overfeeding After being nearly starved in Russia From which country he recently came He was all right this morning For dinner yesterday Itinez ate almost two pounds of corned beef A small mountain of cabbage

And two he's not okay No And two watermelons There you go He's guilty of being at a deli Dude fuck God for that really It's like you're gonna die You haven't eaten anything

Okay, let me eat a bunch of stuff. You're going to die. You've eaten too many watermelons. Like, can God not just hush? I don't think it's the watermelons that took the poor guy down. Did you hear about the other ingredients? I usually hear of ponds of corned beef. Well, I usually hear watermelon and forget everything before.

But, yeah, pounds of corned beef, you say? Pounds. Sorry, my wife had just texted me that apparently Bain heard me say lollipops and is now running around the house going, Lollipops, lollipops, lollipops. Dave, thoughts? I don't know. It's the whole, his, his family situation is upsetting.

Me? Mine? Okay. Yeah. Why? Yeah, he's talking to you. Yeah. Why is a good question, Dave? I'm fine.

A room full of dogs. I don't, I don't have any. Okay. You don't care to get into it. No. That's okay. I don't want to. I think he and his whole family and the Lolley,

It's a wonderful thing. I think most people would think that, yeah. How old is Bain? Two and a half. Two and a half. He's at the lollipop age. Yeah. Does he know what a lollip is?

He's about prime age for getting a fish bone stuck in his neck. You know what I mean? Just let him take that lulley down, stick and all. Yeah. Calist drivers censured. The coroner's jury yesterday censured. Con Rogers and Samuel Haynes. Well, they should have seen Con Rogers coming.

Yeah, Khan seemed pretty obvious. Con Rogers and Perp Johnson. Con Rogers sounds like somebody that Russell Crow would have boxed in Cinderella Man. Con Rogers, over here in the gold trunks. Khan Weak Chin Rogers, going down again. Good Lord, why did he start so early in this montage? I'll never know. Let's see if that South Paul works all the way up here in the north.

Cracky, he's down badly. Con Rogers and Samuel Haynes, two drivers whose horses ran away on Wednesday and killed Henry Bodkin, 65 years old. I got to be honest. I pine for a time when animal on human murders happen this frequently. Like considering how we're killing our ecosystem for fucking just constant expansion of roads and bridges, it's nice every now and then when just you hear something like, Camel killed owner. Yeah, and this, the horses ran away. Like, these were his horses that drove in places, right?

Because I, I, I, I, I, I, I'd always assumed I was like, you know, horse, like, being in a horse wagon, not as good as a car, but one good thing is, if you're in a horse wagon and the horse sees another horse coming, he'll go, oh, fuck, it's a horse, and he'll get out of the way, you know, whereas, like, we can't do that in car. But you're saying that this, this is like the Tesla of horse cars where he just, whatever fuck is computing and just ran and murdered people at like a like Mitch McConnell's cousin we don't we don't we don't talk bad about Tesla on this podcast that's right I'm sorry fans they are a sponsor cyber truck just came on board for 30 ads okay well we may as well do it now uh to our listeners we want to say uh if if you guys are having trouble uh getting anywhere uh get a cyber truck yeah uh it's good on sand it's good on rocky pathways, roads are its friend. Great in the rain. As far as great in the rain, as far as making U-turns, you're never going to have an easier switch to turn. The radius

is perfect. It could go over fences, no problem. Now, if you needed to perform... And the windows are extra-shatterable. Yeah, if you need it to perform as an actual truck, your shit out of luck. But other than that... Well, I think... No gravel. I mean, we're just pretty... I think everything else can haul real well, but no gravel, small rocks, tiny pebbles. Anything big? You can't... I don't know big stuff.

Yeah, I guess that would be the other knock on it. Nothing big will be good. But other than that... The door can cut your finger off if you want that. Oh, well, it's a raised... Everything's razor sharp. So don't touch any of the edges. But that's pretty standard with any vehicle.

You know, but it's the only car you can shave with. So that's exciting. That's exciting for people. And if you try to tow something, bumper will just come right off like a Lego thing. The only car fully designed on ketamine. back to horses back to horses the jury censure was due to the violation of ordinance by the drivers in not tying their horses while they went into a house to deliver goods emergency brides said rogerson haynes said they said they received no instructions to tie their horses and they thought they were perfectly gentle i don't know but isn't that given right who has to tell you to tie a horse I didn't know I had to put the car apart

when I got out of it. That's exactly what this is. They knew of no they knew of the existence of no ordinance bearing on the subject. They're like, I don't know how to tie. I didn't know I had to look left and right when crossing the road.

I was hit by a car. Yeah, this is like old people, old people always make the joke. Like they'll look at the side of a bottle of bleach and be like, look, it says don't drink the bleach, you know, that's made for this generation. We knew better. And it's like, no, your generation was the person that wasn't tying their horses up.

So you made the labels. You were, well, it didn't say I had to. Six of your siblings died in the crib. Yeah. Oh, man, good Lord. And by the way, you can drink bleach. You need to dilute it heavily. Sure.

I mean, I've had to pass a drug test. Yeah. Yeah, you can drink it. Do you see the, you ever seen the baby cages that they used to hang babies out of in New York? Hold on, Dave. Let's Corey finish. Go ahead. They were hanging babies and cages near ACs.

Go ahead. No, it wasn't near an AC. No, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, like out of the window, they were like, it's like a little, a little cateo sort of deal. Yeah, and they'd be like, this way the baby can nap with a breeze and they're on a fucking 40 level thing and the baby's just in the cage. While a pelican's just pulling on the soft part of the back of the head. Oh, my, no, no! And to their, in their defense, no one told them not to do it.

Yep, I agree Go ahead, Dave I just want to say Don't drink Don't drink bleach, please Yeah, that's a fine message Yeah, I think How about this?

Both of the people on the show Yeah, I agree I think it's important to have both sides So Dave, go ahead You don't think you should drink bleach And Corey and I are both going to say Quite simply, it's survivable Can do it

Mark Baldwin charged with rioting Mark Baldwin, the famous baseball pitcher, now playing with the Allegheny Club. He was a right-handed pitcher. He was a rioting. Was arrested. Oh, boy. Was arrested last night on a warrant. I actually have to leave this up a little early, guys.

Please. Was arrested last night on a warrant sworn out by Secretary Lovejoy of the Carnegie Steel Company, charging him with aggravated riot at Homestead on July 6th. He is accused of furnishing rifles to the strikers. His father, a well-known resident and former millworker of Homestead, furnished bail, and he was released to await the grand jury. I like that. That's a good baseball guy.

That is a great guy. Are you saying that a person that worked at a steel company is the one that issued a warrant? Yes, that's how that worked. I mean, I'm very aware that, like, corporations are technically more powerful than our government institutions, but, like, they actually could just draw up a warrant. Well, at least now we go through the bullshit process of, like, telling them to do the warranting, and, you know, then we are like, oh, that's cool that we actually, they've followed through on some law and order. Right, but this was just very out in the open. I mean, I actually kind of like this way a little bit better because at least it's all out in the open. No, I agree.

There's no veil. Yeah, there's, you know, Tim, Tim Wilson used to have a great bit about how he would respect congressmen more if when they went to Congress, they were all wearing jackets that had patches of like the NASCAR. Yeah, like the NASCAR thing. And I was like, yeah, I mean, I'd still hate them, but like, if people were more honest, at least we don't know. Yeah. Unfortunately, now you'd be like, wow, they're all just in the Israeli flag. Yeah. Super weird to see that.

Oh, you Biden cuck. We can laugh. Oh, well, no, it's funny now because a genocide has been committed. That's true. Well, is being committed. I think committed would mean it was done. And is happening. No, it's not done yet.

No. Nope. This is the next. I think Kirsta, Gillibrand is going to get us out of it. I don't know who that is, but I agree. She's the answer. That's the one.

This is the next story. Baldwin re-signs with Pittsburgh. This is about the same picture who just gave all the guns to the. Pitcher Mark Baldwin was re-signed today by the Pittsburgh Club. He may pitch tomorrow. Wow. What a 24 hours this fellow is having. It's been practicing throwing bricks. Yeah.

Pitcher Gambari was suspended for insubordination has been released. Wow. That guy was like, wait, you realize that guy gave like a militia arms. yeah unfortunately you're just you're out of line so we only care about one arm and that's the one attached to his fucking shoulder you know what i mean that's he's signing with the cowboys yeah the woman novelist booed corey corey corey most ladies prefer to read god damn it oh god god oh christ oh christ oh christ The ladies prefer to read a novel written by a woman

because she always pays particular attention to the dress of her heroin. I'm going to, I'm going to tell you this is a man writing and he just found the greatest angle of the times. So he's like, and there she was. Wearing her long dress. Her underpants went right up her couter. She was a woman for sure. A man will send his heroin on a long journey without changing her dress.

although she may have just come in from a horseback ride. The next day, wearing the exact same outfit, Sheila walked in. She demanded a conversation with Jefferson, whom she'd been awaiting to see. He was wearing a new outfit. He was respectable. This just in, men better at editing. That's what I'm hearing. I'm just saying, you know, you don't have to, we assume that they change clothes.

I agree, though, that, like, when you read things that a man has, when a man tries to write about a woman or sex, like, I'm not trying to be all woke here, but it does seem like a 4chan Reddard. Like, they're always like her breasts, we're breasting breastily underneath her neck, which was only there to accentuate the space between her face and her breast. Her cleavage was better than ever. Trust me. Real good stuff. I just whacked off. All right, anyway, I've been in real. I remember when I was in, like, rooms, like, trying to, like, pitch for women and then, like, some amazing female writer would pitch. And I'd be like, well, that's obviously, I'm incapable of that. Yeah. That was, that's very empathetic towards the plight of that character.

That seems like something a woman would do. Now, what if the fellow walks in? And furthermore, my favorite part of the latest James Bond movie was when he changed pants on the way to the meeting. The best. The best. That's cute. And these, James, are cackies. Your second pants.

I think you could wear them when you go to an outdoor event or something when it's a little bright. Match it with a white shirt, maybe a tie of a similar color, or something a bit more beige and yellow. What does it do? It goes to leave pretty much anything outside. You all look unbelievable. If you cut in at the knee, you will make shorts. Sorry, Dave. And they've got zippers that you can unzip, and they turn into shorts, James.

Cackay shorts. And there's poison in the button, you idiot. It's not just that. And I'm sure you're wondering, what if I have cargo that I must carry with me? Well, fret not. These parts of the pants are also pockets. Huge ones. all right Dave

Corey's smoking a box I am smoking a box yeah yeah yep dress to a woman is part of her personality in every shade of feeling and every new situation must have a dress to correspond I mean it says a lot

this is a loaded story I like that it started out kind of feminist like women are so much better at writing women And then it's just like, because we all know that women's personalities are completely attached to what they're wearing. Nobody can write dresses better than the ones we force into them all the time. Um, a typical Philadelphia dwelling at the Chicago exposition. Among the exhibits at the World's Fair will be a facsimile of a two-story model Philadelphia dwelling.

Wow. Miss E. that's very similar to what we have nobody in philly knew what he meant by fix simile for the record just so you know that's when you got a broken simile and someone comes over and repairs it i can you fix simile hell yeah yeah i can fix just about anything miss e p davis chairman of the social and economic committee of pennsylvania women's auxiliary who has charge of the matter has made the commissioners understand that she wanted to exhibit, not a model of what a home might be, but what it actually was.

The house is to be of brick with six rooms and bath. The interior finished exactly as the houses in Philadelphia are. So did they build it there or they did like the early version of the oversized load on wagons where you're like, my God, why is this guy moving his whole house? It sounds like they built it there. And they just built it. That's interesting. They built a house.

This is what it's like where we are. Yeah. No, it's, we're doing a very similar thing here, ma'am. Well, ours is different because it's a Philadelphia house. You don't have them like this. Well,

it's six rooms. No, yeah, it's a big house is what it is. We have those here. And a bath. And we don't have it in Philadelphia. That's for sure.

We are stinky, illiterate people and we are proud. It's just a. bucket. Look at that tub, huh? Luxury. The thing of which Philadelphia has a bona fide reason to be proud of

is their homes. Other cities have homes that are neat and pretty and comfortable. This one's a shithole. Look at it. It's filled with shards of glass. This Philadelphia home. How bad is this? These windows won't even open.

How cool is that? with a view to preservation of the health of their inmates, but no other city has so many of them. So, Philip, he just has more. What a boast. A lie. Why would you? Just such a lie.

We've got a bunch of these. Okay. I swear to God. Yeah. Don't go there. Are they erected at such little cost? In no other city are they open to so many people who were everywhere else would be called poor.

Hey, ma'am, this is the worst exhibit I've seen. It's a house. Yeah, yeah, I get that. You don't understand, but it's in Philadelphia. Oh. There are a lot of them in Philadelphia. Imagine a city full of abodes. Thank you.

Dwellings. People live in them. I don't know. I don't know what you're doing your city. Everyone's looking at me like I'm crazy. Let me walk you one more time through what I'm presenting. here. Inside of here, people live. Those are rooms. They live

in them, too. Okay? Uh-huh. I hate Chicago. And it's a house. Yeah, it's a house, you idiot. He's all over Philadelphia. They're all over Chicago, too. You can walk down the street here. Because I brought them. Because I brought them.

No. Yes. None of them have libraries. Jeez, this guy this guy's at every event lately. this guy's the worst we're reading we know we know of one particular person

from Philadelphia who is really stupid now he's just he's a guy who is so dumb he's so dumb yeah he's like the dumbest

Burnsian is what people call him I didn't know Barnes is in Philadelphia I love this oh yeah he's i'm gonna do my core impression for the rest oh yeah he's okay maybe it's because i'm so used to getting arrested that i'm always like this

you're in lockshot mode but they also do those front facing yeah oh they do i mean it makes yeah that's good i mean cori excuse me i'm uh i'll do the other profile sir but you're not getting a front facing you never arrested cori before he won't face the camera you called old side face forster He's been on the run for a long time.

Nobody's ever seen him front-wise. Well, he used to be called Moonboy. Oh, you're talking about Moonboy? Oh, yeah. Moonboy. A cow jumped over his head and then attacked a bishop. While Mr. George Keck was enjoying his afternoon smoke in his meat and produce store in Bridgeport yesterday. I was just sitting amongst all these carcasses banging a heap.

eater, and then my day took an uneventful strange twist. This meat is more expensive because it killed a guy in London. This is how I smoke meats. Hello? He was startled. He was startled by seeing a large tarantula make his appearance at the top of a large bunch of bananas. Sweet God, look at that pyramid of bananas.

There's a spider with hair upon it. This day's bending already. Dude, if I saw a tarantula, it would ruin my day. And even though I know that they're like, because they, well, because once I realized it was a tarantula, I would be fine. But people are always like, oh, you shouldn't be scared of tarantulas because they can't kill you. I'm like, when I first see a spider, I'm not all of a sudden Steve Irwin.

I don't, I just know it's a big spider. Look at his eyes. Yeah. Like, I don't, I just fuck spiders, dude. There are. You just fuck them? There are. That was bad wording.

Yeah. That was very bad wording. I'm going to make web. There are places near us, very close to Gareth and I, where they, at a certain time of year, I guess they're breeding or migrating, but you can just go out and watch them just like cruise across the needles. Like, no, tons of them. It's awesome. Nope.

I don't ever see a tarantula in the wild. I'm like, oh, yes. Just more proof that God is truly punishing you sodomites out there because you just have. What are you talking about? Well, what are you talking about? Earthquakes, you got spiders just running around. Like, come on, you fucking filthy monsters. We also have plumbing.

Yeah. Well, you got us beat on that. Yeah. He called in Mr. Supply, who happened to be passing at the time. Hello. So he just called the guy from the street. Supply, get in here. There's a spider.

Oh, yeah. That sounds pretty. nice. I'm glad you boys called me in. Okay, go now. Please go now. A little warm for these shirts. What do you all say we have a layer off competition?

So you're what's happening right now. We're watching here because of a spider. So this is a house, right? That's what this is. What is this strange area? Excellent. No, it's my meat and produce store. Oh, I've got some meat that.

will produce for you. Right here. Rub it like a genie lamp and I'll give you as many wishes as you want, my guy. Jesus Christ, there's feral dogs in here. I'm still so. I'm still aroused. Oh. What do you say we cut some of these carcasses down and see who can fit in them?

Hey, put two on the ground. I'll titty fuck them. But not right. Not between one of their titty. you lay two side by side and you tit fuck the the left tit of one and the right tit of the you push them together so you're technically tit fucking two people at once we call bad news gentlemen we call gentlemen i'm leaving your store hey hold on wait a minute it's called marinating i do not want to be here yeah hey come on let me lock it another one more word and i sick these animals on you He will kill you. I'm busting.

I'm busting, boys. Jesus Christ. I'm busting. Woo. His tarantulaship was found hiding in a box. Is that the leader of the tarantulas? That's the leader. Your tarantulaship.

I want you to bring you a gift of webbing. Your tarantula ship, which is unbelievable. What an honor again. Yes, approach. Oh, God. Your tarantula ship. That's the dumbest, greatest thing I've ever heard, your tarantula ship. The tarantula ship.

That's so stupid. Yes, when you leave the room, don't turn your eyes on me. All of them. He was found hiding in a box of canned tomatoes. Mm-hmm. An old broomhole was procured. What an awesome situation for him. He was like, I'll tell you what.

Tomatoes are pretty delicious. Yeah, I was but say, I don't know if he was hiding. I think he just found some tomatoes. He didn't always be, yeah. Yeah, it was being, I don't know if he knew he was being looked for. Shit. An old broom handle was procured in one end of which was inserted a large needle, which was promptly run through the venomous spider.

This is like how Corey would handle. Yeah, well, I just hit him with the broom. Like, I don't know why you have to. The one needle? Yeah, like that seems like it took, like, by the time you did that, you could probably also find a way to just, like, get the tarantula. This is 1892. To McGiver.

Yeah, just throw the tomato can outside. He's in the, you know what I mean? No, no, no. We've got to figure out how to make this string, needle, and broom work in conjunction together. Yeah. As much as I hate spiders, if I could free them from my home instead of killing them, I would, and have. You can't. And I have.

I have. I'm just saying sometimes they get right in your face and you get scared. Right. Get right in your face. Yeah. They get right in your face. What's up, bitch? Your tarantulaship.

You're torrential ship. We're on a mission from our queen. The torrential. The insect, the insect was of light gray color and was eight inches long. Ooh, been there. After it had been exhibited, after it had been exhibited for some time, it was taken to March's packing house where it was cremated. Creamated.

What a nice shine they put on burning it alive. The ashes were given to its tarantula wife, and she will spread it where she must. What are you doing with that magnifying? glass. I'm just cremating ants, me lord. It's how they want to go. Dave yelling. That's it. That's it. Do jazz hands if you're going to do that. That's good. Okay. Well, uh, you know, uh, we learned very little. I don't think much was learned from this. Apropos of the people of Philadelphia. Yeah.

Yeah, it fools. So, Corey, remind us again where people can find you, your podcast. I understand you have an overall with Facebook. Yeah, I know. I wear overalls on Facebook. You had that backwards. But, yeah, Corey Ryanforcer.com, which is where you can find all the tickets to see me everywhere. And there's also a link to my bonus site, my hero, where you can find all my bonus podcasts.

I do the well-read podcast, putting on airs, public domain sleepy time. theater coming soon four score and seven beers but other than that i'm just a prolific guest on this wonderful podcast that is better than anything i could ever do wow dave that must make you feel good oh i write for the atlanta journal constitution too so please go read that so they'll keep paying me and are you working on a book uh no i did i'd already done that i mean i'm constantly kind of working on a book but no one's giving me money for it yet so i'm not doing it that hard i wait till they give me money to make you an offer okay i think we'd like to make you an offer okay i think we'd like to make an offer let's sidebar on that yeah yeah all right great um and it won't sell well in

philadelphia you know what i mean okay jesus christ we've really we're supposed to go there at some point it feels like that shows over oh i love illiterate people and i i know that where i'm from we can't read either i just happened to see this the other day that the people of philadelphia were a bunch of uh rock chew and dumbasses you know rock choosers Uh, nothing says that they couldn't, uh, Corey, uh, Corey, if we, uh, if anyone finds the fart files, where should they reach out to you on your Instagram? Yeah, or buttercream Corey at gmail.com, which is where I take all of my fan mail. You know what your new podcast should be? What's that?

Dave watches Corey talk. Yeah, that would be good. He's like, he just, just his face. He just reacts to. Yeah. It's nice because it's like, I, I get a lot of those looks. but I feel like pound for pound, you are rocking a lot of them today. Yep, so many. He's giving you a lot of nose. Every time I do this podcast, and I still feel this way right now, I go, they're not going to have me back. And then sure enough, someone cancels, and here I am.

No, not even cancels. No. Burns just says tomorrow, Corey, and Dave goes, not again. That's true. I did that. I specifically got Burns on my podcast team just so I would constantly have to be in y'all's lives. yeah no it's working uh well i'll see you next weekend and um and uh Dave any update on the dogs or should we just get out of here uh they're still life okay that's a strange way to put it thanks everybody

some of these days you'll miss me honey some of these days hey dollop fans I know you love the dollop you love listening to the dollop Do you want to watch the dollop? You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation, and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch a five-partner animation,

which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, I can't remember, of the Rube, you can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube. It really genuinely kicks ass, and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one, so go there and watch The Rube.