The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 144 - The Fight Over Anesthesia

Episode Date: January 11, 2016

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the discovery of anesthesia and the men who said they came up with it. SOURCESTOUR DATESREDBUBBLE MERCH  

When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. You are listening to the dollop. I'm Dave Anthony. This is a Bye Weekly American

History podcast. Each week I read a story from American history to my friend Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is gonna be about. Why did you have to move the mic from your face after you said that? I wasn't sure if I was gonna scream. Do you want to look who to do? I'll do one bottle. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gareth. Dave okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is not gonna come to Tickly Podcast. You are Queen Fakie of made-up town. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle and do a thing. Hi Gavie. No. Is he done my friend? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I want to thank and say this podcast is brought to you by our subscribers on

Patreon. We appreciate it very much. Oh also January 21st. 1850. Oh well done. That's a good move Dave. Thank you. That is a good one. Pretty happy. Wait January 21st what year? You was so good that I'm 1815. All right. Year of the dragon was okay. Horace Wells was born in Vermont to Horace and Betsy Wells. He was born to himself. Yeah. In 1820 Horace Wells a senior opened a grist mill. I love a good grist mill. Right. From an ad he placed in a local paper in 1821. Hey Dave, what's a grist mill? It does gristing. Oh yeah. In a mill form? Yep. Okay. This is from the ad. The first smut mill machine in the area cleanses the grain not only from smut but from

cockles, seeds of weeds and other foul matter. I mean, we're talking porno, right? I believe so. It's very close to porn terminology. I think he's making porn. Cockles, smut, foul matter. I mean. Oh, I'm about to foul matter. I believe a grist mill separates basically the dirt and shit from the grains. Okay. Smut is like hardcore porn. Well, it's there's different different definitions but it can be like little particles of dirt but also like a greasy stainy type thing. I think that's where the term smut came from. Yeah. Boy, am I the only one real turned on right now? A little bit. We're gonna turn this off and we'll be back in

a little bit. Wait, no, I'm not saying. Horace went to private schools until 1829 when his father died. Okay. Always happens. Yeah, and then you go to public. He was 14. His mom remarried fairly quickly and Horace became a teacher specializing in penmanship which he taught in several schools. Okay. Then he decided to study dentistry. Oh boy. He wrote to his parents, knew dad but parents. Sure. Quote, dear parents. Amazing start. Very simple. It is my desire to do as much good as possible and I hope and pray that no selfish motive may ever influence me to go contrary to this principle. Okay. It was 1834. He was

19. There were no dentistry schools then so he went to Boston where he became a dentist apprentice. That's how you did it. A dentist. A dent print. Yeah. Two years later this appeared in the Connecticut Courant. Dr. H. Wells offers himself as a professional dentist in Hartford. He has embraced the new and much improved style of inserting teeth. Ladies and gentlemen, I respectfully invited to call and examine his method of inserting mineral teeth on gold plate. Particular attention paid to the preservation of natural teeth by a process of cleansing and filling with gold. Okay. So this is the, this is the

first fill, this is fillings. This is when filling started or he's actually putting new teeth in the mouth. Well he's putting teeth in the mouth. We already know about that. How does, remember George Washington, that was the thing back then. Oh but it's that, that is how he's, it's not like you're actually jamming teeth into gums. You're coming up with fake apparatus. Yeah I believe so. And then, but then also he's saving the teeth by filling them with gold. So he's the guy who's filling, okay. He's filling teeth with gold. Right, okay. Horace saw a dentist's profession that was very vulnerable to the abuses of quackery. Oh

boy. That's like how Fox News is always worried about the news getting involved and ruining the party. A friend said Horace was quote, honest himself, he could not think of others as dishonest and he was just, he would not tolerate injustice. Okay. So he's a pretty straight up fella. Sure. He wrote to his sister and said he was very happy working on teeth, making anywhere from five to twenty dollars a day. He also bought an accordion which he played in his home and his pet birds would sing to. I mean what? Ace Ventura by night. He's just enjoying life. Dave honestly, it sounds like he's enjoying life. The idea of playing a goddamn

accordion having birds sing around you, I mean it doesn't sound like a bad time. No, it is not. But just playing musical instruments for birds wasn't enough. He wanted a lady. He wanted a lady. Oh man, come on. Yeah, he's got it. How much you want out of life? You got an accordion. But I can't fuck these birds. Well fuck fucking accordion. I would like a sexual intercourse. Oh Jesus. So he invented a bird you can fuck. He wrote to a lady, one who was a complete stranger. Dear lady stranger. Miss Wells, we are strangers and I am resolved to ask, would it be in accordance with your wishes to become more familiar, familiarly acquainted with me? Whatever

the answer may be, you must excuse me for being so explicit. She said yes. Wait a minute, Dave, they invented Tinder. I mean, I think they knew who each other, they knew who each other were through, you know, circles, but they didn't know each other. I mean, they knew of each other. That's close. And he's like, can I, may I? I am ready to put stuff in people. So hello, dear miss, I hate to be so forward. My penis is hard. Can you fix this? It's lonely and I only have birds. Swipe this letter to the left if yes. She said yes. All right. And he suggested they hang out for 30 minutes every Tuesday evening. So what is he? What is he? So he's just a

psycho. And five months later they were married. Oh my god. What? 30 minutes every Tuesday. It sounds, it's like, okay. I don't know. I don't know. It sounds insane. Yeah. Is what it sounds like. Okay. Horace wrote a letter to his parents. Dear parents. I'm starting every email, dear parents. He writes everyone, he writes dear sister, dear wife, but he writes his wife, it's hilarious. Dear lady, I'll see for 30 minutes every Tuesday and Wednesday eventually. Dear parents, I have been married for 11 or 12 weeks. And with this short experience in the marriage state, I can truly say that I have bettered my condition. Wife sends much love and

wishes to see you very much. By the way, I think you would be pleased with her. Come and see. Oh my gosh. Come and see. These are just better times. The two had a kid in 1839. Dear child. Charles Thomas Wells was born. Horace was also into inventing. He was issued a patent for an improved coal ash sifter and he invented or approved on on his own dental instruments, but he did not get patents for his inventions. Okay. That's never good. The dentistry inventions. And due to the pain involved in removing teeth, he became interested in finding something that would allow tooth removal to happen without pain. Oh boy. People at this time

were rightfully terrified of a trip to the dentist. Yeah, which had been going on forever in the 1700s as a way to advertise. They like they were tooth pullers. That's what they were called. Uh huh. So these practitioners hung rows of rotten teeth outside their shops. So why were people intimidated to go in them? Because they just hung haunted teeth outside of their place of business. In 1727, the poet John Gay wrote a poem. His pull with Pewter Basin's hung a black rotting teeth in order strung rang cups that in the window stood lined with red rags to look like blood. Oh, did well. His threefold trade explain who shaved

a drew teeth and breathed a vein. So they just it looked like Halloween every day. So they would hang. They were like the way to get people in here is to terrify them. It's the craziest thing ever. You know, I'm thinking we need more bloody rags. No one's coming in. People won't want to come in here unless I hang horrific rotting teeth and what looks like blood coming off of them. I think it's important to show them worst case scenario and get them in. Case scenario. No need to have a conversation. Let the hanging teeth do that. It's the most terrifying. Also, they probably smelled the whole thing. Yeah, everything was

awful. Why would you go to the dentist? Honestly, no, I'd rather be in the pain. I can't imagine living in this time. No, horrific. I can't imagine. Horrific. The tooth key was invented in 1742, which made the process quicker. It was attached. The tooth key was attached to the tooth and then there was some pulling and twisting and cranking and hopefully the tooth would just pop out. It's like opening champagne. Yeah, but usually the tooth just shattered into pieces. Well, you know. Because it was already a fucked up tooth to start with. So they basically you put it like in a vise essentially. Yeah, and then crank it. That would see what

the pressure does. Yeah. Opium was used in various parts of the world and of course alcohol. Dentists like Horus would be rated according to how fast they could remove the tooth. Good. That's where it needs to be. So many people prefer to just have a mouth of rotting teeth instead of having them pulled. Oh, right. Yeah. Progress was slow in the world of dentistry. It wasn't until 1832 that someone invented the declining dent, the reclining dental chair. So up until 1832, they were just like, All right, sit in that chair. It's hard to say. Lay down or the guy laid out and they get on top of you.

Fuck. It wasn't until the time we were now discussing with Horus Wells practicing that Alabama passed the first Dental Regulation Act in the United States. Okay. In 1843, Horus created Horus created a new gold plating technique. He wrote his wife about it. Dear wife. Dear wife. Oh, God. We have succeeded in getting the certificate of the most celebrated chemist and geologist in the country in relation to my new gold plating technique. His name is Dr. C.T. Jackson, which you have undoubtedly heard of before. He spent three days analyzing the gold. Any statement coming from such an eminent man should have a

wonderful effect on our business. Things sound good. So he was rolling along. Now William T.G. Morton was born in Charlton, Massachusetts on August 9th, 1819. Okay. He was the son of a farmer. William bounced around from job to job as a young man working as a cleric, a printer and a salesman. Then he entered the newly created and first school of dentistry in the U.S. in 1840, the Baltimore College of Dental Surgery. Okay. By 1841, he had made a name for himself by creating a new process to solder false teeth onto gold plates. Okay. So they're playing in the same space. They are. I guess thinking he was

hot shit at that point. Morton left the college before getting a degree. He opted instead to go the old route working with a dentist to learn the trade. That dentist was Horace Wells. Alrighty. All right. But the two dentists sharing patience and profits turned out to be a bad idea. After a very brief time, Horace dissolved the partnership writing to Morton. Dear asshole. Dear man. We can both see, we can both of us see at a glance that it is madness for us to go ahead under present circumstances for the reason that our receipts will barely pay the costs of materials used. I wish you to understand that I have not the

least fault to find with you. I have the utmost confidence in you as a gentleman. Horace then helped Morton start up a dentist's office in Boston and continue to instruct him in dentistry. Okay. That's interesting. It's very amicable. Yep. On December 10th, 1844, an ad ran in the Hartford Corrant. A grand exhibition on the effects of inhaling nitrous oxide or exhilarating or laughing gas. Such a fucker in the union hall tomorrow night. 74 gallons of gas will be made so that all in the audience who wish can have the opportunity to take it. 12 stout men will stand on the stage to prevent those who take the gas from injuring themselves or

others. Bouncers. The lecture is scientific to those who make it scientific presented by Mr. Gardner Q. Colton. Colton was on tour of the country. He would lecture about nitrous oxide then invite people up on stage to give it a go. God, I mean, I would go to go to that show. Oh, fuck. Time travel to that show. Amazing. Horace and his wife went to the laughing gas X exhibition. Nitrous oxide. Gascon. Gascon, yeah. Nitrous oxide had been discovered in 7072 in England and that led to self experimentation and nitrous parties. But they're in there. There had to be a time where somebody tried it first and was

trying to explain to someone how much it worked while it was affecting him. The person was like what? He's like, I know it seems like. Bats, bats, bats, bats. Do you hear the helicopters? This is actually an amazing breakthrough. We'll be able, we'll be able to help people experience less pain. Oh, my fucking sides hurt. One person who took nitrous wrote quote the atmosphere of the highest of all possible heaven is composed of this gas. I felt like the sound of a harp. I wish you could. I've never I've done a lot of drugs. I've never said anything quite that heaven is made up of this gas. So good times are being had and it was especially being had at medical schools where the students used it. Yeah, at the grand exhibition. Horace was one of the men who

went on stage and hailed the laughing gas. His wife said he acted quite the fool. Of course. Horace then sat down and watched his friend Sam Cooley and hailed it. Sam ran around the hall knocking over chairs and ended up cutting and bruising his knees. I keep going. When Horace asked him if he was okay, Sam said he didn't feel a thing and the light bulb went off. It's time. Horace immediately thought that operations could be performed without pain if people inhaled laughing gas. They then would wake up and all would be good. It was this. It was everything the medical and dental profession had been looking for. So he

asked Gardner Colton if he could take a bag of nitrous oxide so that he could have a tooth pulled. Okay. And he invited Colton and others to watch. At this time, if a doctor wanted to try something new, it was pretty standard that he'd have it done to himself. Love that. Love that. That should be everything. Sure enough, Horace's tooth was pulled and he felt no pain. So he started on patients and they raved about not feeling a thing. People were having several teeth taken at once without the usual screaming and wanting to die. So this is the beginning of the tooth boom. Yeah, tooth boom. Right. Horace saw this is a

great discovery and wanted other dentists and physicians to try it. He wasn't looking for a monetary reward. He wanted to end suffering. Quote, on making the discovery, I was so much elated that I spent my money freely and devoted my whole time for several weeks in order to present it to those who were best qualified to investigate and decide upon its merits. Not asking or expecting anything from my services. Well assured that it was a valuable discovery. I was desirous that it should be as free as the air we breathe. I wish it was the air we breathe. Right? Oh my God. Holy moly. That'd be fun. Ether had been around for a

while. Of course. Ether had been discovered in 1275 and had been used to treat things like scurvy and other ailments. I mean, how else would you treat scurvy? I know, but just the idea of having to do a bunch of ether to get rid of scurvy. It's like, oh, just someone shoot. Yeah, but it didn't work. No. Ether has nothing to do with scurvy. No. It would just knock you out. Yeah. Well, that's the end. I felt better when I was asleep. Ether very strong. Very all or nothing. In the US in the early 1800s, Ether was a party drug. Kids would inhale ether. Oh my God. A Dr. P. A. Wilhite wrote in an article called Ether

Frolix in a medical journal. Great band. Great band. God, that should be a band name. Ether Frolix. He wrote about how one kid had been given too much ether by friends and the doctor had to throw water on his face and slap him to wake him up. Boy, what a pleasure to be that child. They would have like quilting parties. Beat the ether out of him. The parents would have quilting parties and the kids would do ether. And then. They're like teenage kids, I assume, or kids, you know, middle school, but they would be doing ether while the parents are quilting. It's just good times. I mean, you thought whippets were fucked up. Others

said ether was a fine thing to do. In an 18th, you know, I remember my mom used to bring home whipped cream and be like, why doesn't this whipped cream can't work from the store because the employees are doing whippets. Oh, when I worked in a store, we did tons of whippets. I thought you were going this way because this is my impression of my mother every time she had whipped cream in my house. Well, this one's bad, too. Whipped cream just sort of like drips out of it. Just like a leaky crepe. None of these are working. All of them. Someone's open both. Huh? I don't know. Maybe go back and get a bunch more. Get a case. Get a case. Oh, yeah. No,

I worked in a grocery store. We used to just annihilate all that. It is one of those things. I mean, it's so stupid and it just murders your brain. Terrible for you. But man, you're a teenager there. It's the law. I've done one of my 30s for sure. Another doctor in an article reassured readers that Ether was benign saying there was, quote, scarcely a school or community in our country where the boys and girls have not inhaled ether to produce gaiety. College boys and factory girls inhale ether with the utmost freedom without any ill effects on their health. All right, doctors pro ether. Awesome. I'm selling some. It helps

their gaiety. Now back off. So Horace and some colleagues looked into ether as an aesthetic agent along with a doctor rigs and a doctor or Marcy Horace experimented with ether. They had success just as they had with nitrous, but they found it would be more difficult than nitrous because it was harder to inhale and it wasn't as safe. People's tongues could easily block their breathing, etc. They all believed nitrous to be more safe and superior. Yes. Agreed, right? Yeah. Yeah. Horace, they made a big move. He went to Boston to show what he had learned to doctors at Massachusetts General Hospital. The Boston Teeth Party.

Yeah. Keep going. Okay. If successful, nitrous would change surgery. While he was there, he told Morton and Dr. Charles Jackson about nitrous. Jackson's the guy who helped him, the geologists who made the gold stuff, the gold composite. Neither have heard of it and Dr. Jackson ridiculed the idea. Just being a great friend. Foolish. It sounds fucking stupid. Stupid. You're an idiot. Dummy. At the hospital, there was a man who was due to have his leg amputated and Horace was to demonstrate the power of nitrous on him. So just to sum up, there's a guy who's about to have his leg cut off and they're like, you want to try this new

thing? Hey, guinea pig. I mean, Jeff. What happens if it doesn't work? Just me. You'll be screaming. You'll be screaming because they'll be cutting off your leg and you'll be feeling it. If it doesn't work, the good news is we'll know right away. Because you'll be screaming. Because it's really, really going to be bad. Oh, man. You know what's bad? A knife through your bones. So they were, I mean, and they're, like, obviously, there was just, there were many times when you would, to amputate something, I mean, someone would just drink fucking booze and you just saw their fucking leg off. I guess so. Because this is when there wasn't

anything to knock you out. So you were awake during your leg getting cut off. No, I think it was booze. All it was, I mean, it was. Or opium. Yeah, but I mean, I mean, losing a leg. I mean, now, I mean, not that today it's a pleasure to lose a leg, but at least you're able to say goodbye and then you wake up and you're like, new life started instead of that horrible in between phase. But for some reason, the leg amputation was postponed. So Horace was invited to remove a tooth in front of the medical class. The guy who's getting his leg removed, they're like, we're going to do a tooth instead. If that's cool. I understand. It's

terrible smelling. I think we'll go for the back molar. Open up. It's purple. Shut up. The tooth removal didn't go as well as expected. The nitrous oxide was removed too soon and the patient woke up and started screaming. Oh, they must be screaming gas. Very different. The audience of doctors were not impressed and booed. Oh, you seen the Nick? Yeah. So just imagine that exact scenario. A bunch of guys boo, but they didn't just boo. They also humbug. Yeah, they had home phone phone fingers too. Humbug, grumble, grumble, grumble, grumble, grumble, grumble, grumble. And the procedure was denounced. Horace offered to have another go, but

they were not interested. Humbug. This is a humbug. Still grumbling and humbuggery. Later, the patient said he felt no pain, but was more freaked out about coming to and seeing the bloody tooth. Hey, buddy, so there's a time to bring that up and it's right after that happens. So he just lost it. They just picked a bad patient. Well, but I came to you once when my teeth are being pulled. Yeah. And you're, you, you, it takes a while to, it's like when you wake up in a weird place. I got it. It takes a while for you to grasp what's happening. Your brain isn't, so you just see that and you start freaking out. I said blood

squirting out of my mouth and I was just like, I'm the devil. And then they knocked me back out. But if you come to in a procedure, you're. I came to during, I had to have a fucking scope put down my throat. Oh, God. And I woke up during it. And your adrenaline is so much that you, I couldn't be put back out. They had to take it out. They had to like pull it like, like a tug of war. They had to start pulling scope out. Jesus Christ. Anyway, I hope everyone's enjoying their oatmeal. Did you, did you say thanks to the anesthesiologist? Yeah, it's like big, big wood up on that. When I got my wisdom teeth removed, I didn't get knocked out

either because it was like 500 bucks and I had no insurance. So I stayed awake for it. Oh, Jesus. What? Yeah, it reminds me of this because it is, it was graphic. Oh, God. It was and you don't feel it. So you hear it, right? You not only hear it, like they're one of them was impacted. So the dude was like the with the pliers in my fucking tooth, like shake with some of my heads like going back and forth. Oh my God. And I'm like, do you golfer? Is that you and your friend golfing over there? Oh, God. Oh, Gareth, Gareth and his, I don't have insurance, 1800s medical situations. I'm from English people. Okay, we think about teeth on the fly. But

unfortunately, the patient saying he felt no pain was far too late. The doctors had already decided. What was he doing right after? He was like, oh, people, they, he's not like he woke up when I didn't feel anything. They just all booed and they stormed out. He's like, like he didn't know. Horace was discredited in the medical community. He became very depressed. And then that led to illness. His business suffered and he ended up giving up his dentistry business. It's always a feel good story on the dollop. Yep. But at the same time, his friend Sam Cooley, who the guy that did the nitrous oxide with him and ran

into the chairs. Yeah. He had started doing nitrous exhibitions. I, and, and Horace encouraged him to keep at it. Okay. And Morton's interest had been peaked by the laughing gas. He visited Horace twice to ask about how to prepare nitrous oxide for gas, nitrous oxide gas for use. Horace told him to go see Dr. Charles Jackson to prepare it because Jackson was a chemist. Okay. What does he want it for? What? What does he, what does he want the nitrous? Morton? Yeah. Well, he's a dentist too, right? He's the guy that, he's the guy that trained with him. They're not exhibitions. He's. No, Morton, Morton's a dentist. But so if it's been

so discredited. But Morton saw it working and he believes it. They just know it works. It's just, it's just doctors. But some dent, like Morton as a dentist is like, oh, this works. Right. But for the most part, everyone's like, ah, it's bullshit. Right. Okay. With his dentistry business over, Horace turned to other pursuits. And this is always a good, this is always a good time. What did you, wrestle alligators? Oh, it's so close. On June 2nd, 1845, an ad appeared in the Hartford current for Wells' Panorama of Nature. Oh boy. He was going to give a lecture on birds and Nature Hamilton's brass band would play tickets for 25 cents.

What? I think you just read three separate ads. He's going to go do a lecture on birds. Yeah. And then the, and these are going to have Hamilton's brass band play. And a band's going to play while he is dead. Well, they might play before or else they could make the birds. Even in this day and age, 25 cents seems a little steep. Honey, there's a man talking about birds tonight. Oh, no, but I told you I wanted to go see music today. There's a band also. There's a band and then we'll hear something about birds. You're telling me that at the same bill,

a man is talking about birds, your favorite thing. Yes. And at the same time, a band will be playing my favorite thing. Music, yes. Well, let's go to this magical show. Oh, well, there are only two of us here. How much will it cost? 50 cents. No, practically giving it away. So obviously things are going awesome for, for Horace. Things are good. He's, he's singing in a bird show. The next year, Horace attempted to patent a shower bath. But another guy, Colonel Thomas Roberts, claimed he had already invented the shower bath. They decided to partner up. Roberts made the shower baths and Horace traveled around New England selling them.

Shower bath being. It's a shower. A shower. That didn't imagine people trying to convince people to use a shower as a bath, a fucking nightmare. What a nightmare. Now it comes down from the top. Why would I? Why would I not? I could sit in it though. I'm used to sitting in it. Right. But this way it comes down over you and you. I don't want anything coming down over me. Okay. I would rather sit inside of it. Good day, sir. Get out of here with your future rain machine. Okay. Thank you. Hey, I got another question for you. Yes.

You see this cut here? Yeah. There's an evil troll living in there, right? That's why it smells funny. I gotta go. Alrighty. The shower business didn't go well and he decided to return to the one thing that made him money. Showering was rebuffed. Yes. He returned to dentistry in 1846. That was the shower game. Not good. Not good. Not good. One month later, he received a letter from Morton. Friend Wells, dear sir, I write to inform you that I have discovered a preparation by inhaling which a person is thrown into a sound sleep. While in this state,

the severe surgical or dental operations may be performed, the patient not experiencing the slightest pain. I have patented and am now about sending out agents to sell the right to use it. My object in writing you is to know if you would like to visit New York and other cities to sell rights as well. I've used the compound in more than 160 cases and extracting teeth and I have been invited to administer it to patients at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston and have succeeded in every case. For further particulars, I will refer you to excerpts from the daily journals of this city for which I forward to you. Respectfully yours, William T. G. Morton. Okay. So he's out there. He's doing it. It's happening. Yeah. Horace was obviously excited. He wrote back,

Dear Martin, sir, before you make any arrangements, whatever, I wish to see you. I think I will be in Boston the first of next weeks, probably Monday night. If the operation of administering gas is not attended with too much trouble and will produce the effect you state, it will undoubtedly be a fortune to you provided it is rightly managed in yours in haste, H. Wells. Horace quickly went to Boston and watched Morton administer his anesthesia to a few patients. He realized Morton had not discovered anything. He was just using one of Horace's discoveries and not very well. I discovered what you did. I discovered the thing you discovered before and I wrote you to say, Hey, I discovered what you discovered. It's called columbus-ing. Remember when I patented that thing

that you made? Hey, look at it. Now watch me use it poorly. Horace said to Morton, you will kill someone yet because Morton was using ether. Oh, shit. When Horace had sent Morton to Jackson to show him how to make the nitrous compound, Jackson thought it was too complicated. Remember Jackson laughed at the nitrous. Yeah. Jackson thought it was too complicated and just gave Morton ether. Even though Jackson knew that Horace had tried nitrous and ether and found ether to be more dangerous. Yeah. A Dr. Gould took care of Morton's patients after he administered the anesthesia. He wrote, quote, one was a state of very high excitement, almost a maniac. Some others vomited profusely. One or two were roused with great difficulty. Sure, sure, sure. Sure. Sounds

great, right? Great times. But Morton had success. He went to Massachusetts General Hospital like Horace had and put a patient out for major surgery. Unlike when Horace did it, the patient did not wake up and was considered an immediate success. It was instantly published in newspapers with Morton and Jackson named as the discoverers. Perfect. Jackson then fired off letters to Paris at which time Paris is considered to be the center of all things science. In the letters, he took all the credit and forgot to mention Morton. But at this point, it is ether. It's ether, but he had already tried ether. Yeah. But okay. So this isn't okay. And so now Jackson is trying to take all the credit in France. Right. Not talking about Morton.

Sure. Meanwhile, Morton patented it and called this new product a lithium. Nice. Jackson would get 10% of all the revenue, but it was just ether with orange scent added. Oh, that's amazing. It's like a successful soda. They're like now with orange. Fuck it. I don't know. Put some raspberry flavor in it. Fuck up. But patenting medical advances was a big no-no at the time. The medical profession was disgusted that someone would try to profit from a medical discovery. I mean, Dave, could you imagine what a world that would be? What a horrific world. I can't imagine that. If people, if people instead of just being for the general good, right, and mass consumption,

it was, it was, you'd put money ahead of it. I can't. It's disgusting to think about. It's disgusting. And I thank God we don't live in a world that that happens. No. And thank God we can't get medications from Canada. Right? Yeah. God bless you, Pfizer. The admitting physician at Massachusetts General wrote to Morton, I am very anxious to find a way of easing the sufferings of patients under surgical operations. If you can tell me the substance used, it would be a real blessing to humanity. Morton would not. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's called a lethion. And if you want it, you can pay, bitches. You can sucky on these balls. You know what? I need to make money, right? And you need guys to get their legs cut off, not in pain, right? So give me the money. Yeah, you are a prick. Yeah. Yeah. A rich prick. He's a terrible person. So Morton's patenting of a medical discovery caused people to speak out that Horace Wells had been the first to experiment with ether and nitrous. Right. So finally, the truthers. Dr. Marcy wrote the man who first discovered the fact that the inhalation of gaseous substance would render the body in sensible to pain under surgical operations should be entitled to all

the credit. The mere substitution of ether vapor or any other article for the gas no more entitles one to the claim of a discovery than the substitution of coal for wood and generating steam would be entitled to calling the discoverer of powers of steam. So that makes sense. Sure. The steam analogy is a little wonky, but outside of that. Yeah. Not great. A Connecticut senator took to the floor and stated Horace had shown Morton and Jackson the benefits of the gas a year and a half before Morton patented. Horace wrote the Hartford Cran and said he was the first to make the discovery and had shown it to both Jackson and Morton. Morton then wrote to Horace saying he could invalidate his claim word by word,

but wouldn't do it because they were friends. Yeah. Trumpian. Yep. But by this time, doctors around the country had come to realize Morton had just added orange scent to ether and began using just ether. Okay. So I mean, nobody's winning. Nobody's winning. Morton's patent. That orange scent is so fucking funny. Yeah. What about a little taste of orange? You know what I think will get us into this patent? Winner's circle is a hint of tangerine. Just a little Mandarin. But that's basically what pharmaceutical companies do. They create a pill and they patent it. And then when the patent's up, they change the shape or color of the pill. And that's different enough. And then they repatent it. Right. Yeah. I mean, we make so many pills

now that you just like they put out pills to cure one thing and they're like, actually, here's this other thing turns out. Yeah. It's like we're not. No. Okay. This is the opposite time. Just take it and see what happens. And this is for strep throat. Oh, your prostate's better. Oh, that's great. This is to help you quit smoking. Boy, you can run marathons. It's a marathon pill. So Morton petitioned Congress for $100,000 as compensation for lost patent revenue. So he's saying that he patent it. And he's saying that all these guys are working around his patent by using ether. So he's owed money because he came up with the idea and they're just switched. Don't hate capitalism. Okay. He believed that he should be compensated for a

sacrifice of time and money for something. But he did. I added orange that someone else invented and he just put orange. Come on. I put orange in it. What do you want from me? There's the thing I put orange on it. Give me my money. Horace couldn't take the bullshit and he started a new business. He would go to Paris and buy copies of famous paintings, then ship them to the US and put them in fancy frames and sell them at auctions. Boy, he really just he was a map jumper, huh? Really just love to get all over the fuck. Upon arriving in Paris, he found out that he had made a name for himself. There they called him a great man. So he was already known because of the stuff he had written about nitrous. He was already known in Paris. They thought he was this genius,

great man, let America nothing. It's like the dollop in Australia. It's like Bill Hicks. It's true. It's like a lot of fucking things, honestly. The scientific academies there credit him with the discovery. He lectured at the Academy of Sciences. The science. The medicine. The medicine. And a Parisian medical society. Parisian. He was invited to parties, balls and dinners. He was a big man about town. All right. So he's fucking rolling in it. Yeah. Back in the US, the battle over who discovered anesthesia was still on. While he's at a ball, he's like, I'm gonna give a fuck. Yeah. Why would you leave Paris? No, don't. The House of Representatives awarded Morton

as the man who'd come up with it. Okay. Good. Senator James Dixon of Connecticut protested. And now Dr. Jackson. Okay. He was asking Congress for $100,000 also. Why? What is he? He says he also helped invent it. He came up with it. Everybody's hearts in the right place. And then the guy who Horace had gone to the original nitrous demonstration with who had run around and smashed up his leg, Sam Cooley, wanted credit. He said he was the first one to suggest nitrous be used in dentistry. I mean, everyone's a con. Nobody's nobody's honest. Everyone's a monster. They're just fucking monsters. The whole the whole thing. People are all terrible. It's like a relative died and the wills being read. It's totally like

a relative died. Horace came back to the US in March 1847. Worst movie ever made. Stay in Paris. You're a fucking hero. Balls, dinners. Hot chicks, I assume. Parisian ladies. Listen, Dave. Dave. Come on. Dave, look at me. Dave, look at me. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. In May, the General Assembly of the state of Connecticut passed a resolution naming Wells as the discoverer of anesthesia. This is like Gore Bush election. It totally is. It totally is over anesthesia over anesthesia. This gave Horace hope. And in August, he was back at it. He was trying to prove nitrous was the way to go, not ether. He gave Dr. Marcy nitrous first surgery in which he removed a man's testicle. Now I am. Now I am hoping that that was that that man knew

what was happening and that he went in there for that. He didn't just walk into the doctor's office and say, I have a fever. He wakes up. Take this. I don't know. Doc, my tooth still hurts. My nuts are killing me, but my tooth hurts too. So that that was published in a journal. And then Horace kept that at an 1848 he gave nitrous to a guy having leg removed and a woman having a tumor taken off her shoulder. Both those are published in journals, but no one cared. He was just ignored. Ether was now the thing. You know why? Because. Right. Because. That's that's enough. Because. Horace continued with his painting framing business and then moved to New York City. In New York, he started working as a dentist again, advertising his painless services in the New York Herald.

He was also alone now because he just left his wife and child in Hartford. Okay. His close friend said he was changing. One said he was, quote, somewhat deranged when he left Hartford. His mind has been a great deal excited for some time past. And he has personally experimented to a great extent in gases prepared in different forms. Okay. So our hero now is a Batman villain. Gassing it up. He's the gas man. One of those gases. Oh, God was chloroform. Oh, shit. Now chloroform does not work like it does in the movies or cartoons. No, it does. Dave, you put it on a rag and someone passes out if you hold it up to their nose for three seconds. What's got to be so great is if it doesn't work like it does in the movies, there has to be in

the history of our civilization. Multiple times where men based off of movies have put it on rags and gone up to someone and put it over their face only to have the person be like, dude, get the fuck off of me. Totally. What are you doing? Hold on. Smell it more. You feel weird? Smell it. Pass out. Damn it. So yeah, you can't just put a cloth soaked in chloroform over someone's face. It takes about five minutes to render someone unconscious. You need to kill them. That's what's happening. You're just suffocating them. That's how you think that chloroform works like that. It takes a long fucking time. So you could huff it and get high without knocking yourself out. You created an exhilarating feeling. Sure. It was also considered a medicine to treat ailments.

So Horace started knocking it back in New York to treat his depression. Started knocking it back. You know, sniffing it, taking it. He's just ragging around town. He's ragging around. He's just sitting around taking whiffs of chloroform. You don't want to do business with a guy who's hooked on a rag. Or do you? You don't. He's like, come on in, man. You want to... Let's do this. Alrighty. Let's do this, bro. Yeah. Yeah. So he's taken that. He's sniffing chloroform. It's getting an exhilarating feeling. This went on for about a month. Okay. Okay. What wasn't known then is that chloroform damages the brain and makes one deranged. Good. The Daily Union, January 22nd, 1848. A fellow has just been captured here who,

for some nights past, has employed himself throwing sulfuric acid upon the dresses and persons of the unfortunate women who infest after dark the lower part of Broadway. Wrapping himself in a cloak, he would lounge along the sidewalk and, as one of them passed him, throw the liquid upon her from a bottle with a hole in the stopper. His name is Horace Wells, and he is a dentist at 120 Chamber Street. If you want to go in, he seems good. Some of the victims of this new moral reform have been quite severely burned. A young girl now lies in the city hospital dangerously ill. Six women testified to have been burnt by acid and their clothing destroyed between Monday and Friday nights. So

uh-oh. He's maybe now the worst guy? I mean, what? Look, chloroform, he was driven. This is a man who- He was driven to drugs. He's tried, ether. He basically figured out laughing, gaskin. But he's a man of justice, right? All he believes is justice is doing right, and he just wants to help people. And then some fucker stole his- I agree. Stole his thing and panned it. Now he's getting no credit. I agree. No one gives a shit. He's got a better way to do it. He's totally bummed out. You have me on- You have me on everything.

So he starts taking a little bit of fucking- Here's where I'm lost. He needs a pop. Here's where I'm lost. He takes a pop. Is when he's hitting the streets just throwing acid on women. Okay, well now here's the thing. Things get weird after you take a pop from- So too many pops and you're fucking throwing acid on women? Yeah, I mean, shit gets weird. Oh god. This is what we're talking about is the 1800s version of bath salts.

Right, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Horace was arrested and when he was no longer high on chloroform, he realized what he had done. My goodness, I can't tell you the hangover I have. Whoa, my- My dear sir, I apologize. Here is what he wrote to the paper. Oh god, dear reality. On Friday evening last, a young man with whom I had recently formed an acquaintance-

It's already so like polite. Went with me to my office on Chamber Street and while there, he said that a woman of bad character had spoiled a garment for him while walking in the streets by throwing something like sulfuric acid upon him and that he knew who it was and would pay her back in the same coin. As I had some acid in my office- Here we go. Which I was using for some chemical experiments, he requested the liberty of taking some of it for this purpose.

Okay. That's a good story so far. Really, really strong. Hard, hard to. So far it feels like he's trying to pin it on someone he's invented, but maybe not. No. Okay. He then said that he might get it upon his own clothes.

Oh my god. And I told him that I had an old cloak which could not be much injured by the acid as it was good for nothing. Okay. Okay, so it's all so far, this is great. So far it's very true. I can't find any holes in this. There's not a hole in it. There's not a hole in it.

By his request, I walked into the street with him, he wearing my old cloak. Uh-huh. We proceeded up Broadway. Okay, as friends do. And he said he saw the girl he was in pursuit of. So just happened to, she happened to be there. Look. So, so far a guy came to his office and said, hey, some girl threw acid on me.

I'd like to throw some acid back and he was like, okay, cool. Well, that's crazy, I have acid in this great acid cloak. Oh, do you want a great acid cloak? And then they walked down the street and bang, there she was. Any questions, judge? So, uh, the young man gave her shawl of sprinkling. Sprinkling, did he? We then turned down Broadway when my friend proposed to sprinkle some other girls.

Well, you know, Dave, once you've had one. I immediately objected and told him that what he had already done was not in accordance with my own feelings, although it was done in revenge. Oh, my God. So full of shit. I am opposed, although I get why it was done, good sir. I did not think it was good to do, but still I decided we'd go on a bit of an acid trip. When we arrived at Chamber Street, I took my acid vial and my cloak, and at the same time, two of his friends came up and I left him, supposing I had dissuaded him from doing the mischief he proposed, which is as foreign to my nature as light is opposed to darkness.

Oh, gosh. I then regretted. Uh-huh. I then... What did you regret, pal? I then regretted, exceedingly, that I had allowed in any manner the first act. On getting home, I found that my cloak apparently received the principal part of the acid, which had escaped from my vial as the wind was blowing towards us when the act was done. Oh, my God. Wind?

When you're bringing wind into this, you're full of it. On meeting with my acquaintance the next day, he went back to see the fellow. Sure, yeah. How was the acid throwing? You know, I've done a lot of thinking and soul searching since we burned that woman last night. Upon meeting my acquaintance the next day, he said that himself and two of his friends, whom I met the previous evening, had resolved to drive all the bad girls abroad by sprinkling them with acid. In vain, I reasoned with him against committing so much injury. Right, but he... Okay.

But he did it, right? Okay. Now, that obviously was a great explanation for the one lady. Yeah. Remember, it was more than one. A great explanation. It's a great explanation. That's what we're waiting for. Okay.

I'm with you. I'm with you. Why did you burn the others? That was the... You cannot find a hole in this explanation. No, unless you throw acid at the explanation. Solid. Solid. So what about the other woman?

He went on. I had, during the week, been in the constant practice of inhaling chloroform for the exhilarating effect produced by it. And on Friday morning, I lost all consciousness before I removed the inhaler from my mouth. How long I remained there, I do not know. But on coming out of this stupor, I was exhilarated beyond measure, exceeding anything which I have ever experienced before. And seeing the vial of acid standing on the mantle in my delirium, I seized it, rushed into the street, and threw it at two females. I may have thrusted at others, but I have no recollection further than this. Dave.

Yeah. I want this to be true so bad. I want to know. I want to know. I don't see how... You know, I don't see how he's at fault. You know what I mean? We're talking about an innocent man here. He's like the Afluenza kid.

He is like the Afluenza kid. So that's obviously a great, great, great, great explanation. On January 22nd, Horace was allowed by the jailers to go to his room to get some of his belongings. With his stuff, he took a shaving razor and a bottle of chloroform. Oh boy. And then he was taken back to his cell. Oh god, what? So the cops are just on top of shit here.

I mean, honestly. Yeah. Wait, what is that? Yeah, it's just a bottle of... Get in there! ...water. Three days later, he opened a vein in his leg and bled to death while enjoying some chloroform. The coroner ruled that he had committed the attacks due to an aberration of mine brought on by inhalants.

So it was true. Yeah, he did it. But he did it because he was just mad from chloroform? Or did he do it? He wrote a suicide note. He claimed he was innocent, but that he was now seen by the public as a miscreant. He pointed out that while he was in jail, other women had been sprinkled with acid. But that was...

It was actually something that people did all the time back then. Aha! So you're admitting it? Yeah, but that's what everybody... There's a second one! I know, but it's like saying... A copycat! It's like saying, I was playing football and got in trouble, and now that I'm not playing football,

other people have been playing football... They are? Okay, it's a bad example. My god, we've got to put a stop to that! That's a bad example. Everyone will think it's you! Okay, never mind. My god!

How deep does this go? He said the women had lied. They told police he was down there all the time, but Horace said he never went to Broadway. He then said his hand was unsteady and his brain was on fire. Oh, Jesus! So that's an interesting suicide note. I didn't do anything! I didn't touch these women!

Everyone thinks I'm a fucking monster now! Those women are liars! Also, my brain is on fire! My brain... My brain is on fire! Oh, god! That really is... That is sad!

To be able to say that! Yeah. There's not a lot of times when you're like, man, my brain niches. In a letter, nonetheless. My brain just feels a little weird. You're not even telling it to another person. You're writing in a letter. Anyway, my brain's on fire.

I'm going to bleed out. Two days after his death, Massachusetts General Hospital released its annual report in which it stated Horace Wells' original public performance was a failure, and that because he went on to use nitrous instead of ether, his claim to be the one who discovered anesthesia was unfounded. Two days after his death.

Why? Jump right. Fuck this hole. Jump right on it. Four days later, the New York Evening Post reported that a policeman went to visit the prostitute who had been attacked by Horace with acid. Okay.

No one at the hospital had heard of her. Probably. The cop then went to Broadway to talk to another of the victims, but she said she didn't know anything about it and slammed the door in his face. She sounds like a bitch, first of all, but also this is interesting. In 1860, Gardner Colton,

so this is the guy who had originally put on the show that introduced everyone to nitrous. Right. He was now performing teeth distractions. Oh, God. He told the New York Times a few years later that he had given nitrous to over 3,000 patients. Colton's use of nitrous brought it back

and it began to be used by Dennis again. Morton spent the rest of his life trying to get recognition for discovering anesthesia and trying to get that money from Congress. But any time a bill was put in front of Congress, it would not pass. It happened over and over. Two sides in Congress were evenly split and hopelessly locked.

And Morton was now broke. His legal expenses to fight, to get credit, which also resulted in him neglecting his practice, left him in poverty. Morton slowly broke down physically. In July, 1868, he was suffering from fatigue, anxiety, and insomnia. A doctor wanted to put leeches on his temples,

and ice on his head, but Morton was not down with it. Well, you at least get a second opinion. Yeah, I'm thinking maybe we put some leeches on the temples and cut that back, cut that back up. He said he just needed to get out of New York City because it was so hot. It was in the middle of a heat wave. He took a buggy back to his hotel,

but before he got there, he jumped out near Central Park and ran to a lake. And he put his head underwater after yelling he needed to cool his burning brain. Oh, my God. The buggy driver got him back in and started off when Morton jumped out. Imagine being the buggy driver when he gets back in.

Oh, so still going there? Your head's still hot. What's the deal? Did your brain feel cooler after you jumped in the lake? How's that lake? You just put your head out of there, huh? I don't know if I should go or stay. You really just ran out without telling me what was happening. I was thinking I should get a temp or something. Yeah, no, keep going. Sorry, my brain's still on fire, but let's move.

Morton jumped out again, ran and leapt over a fence, and then collapsed. Oh, my God. He was taken to St. Luke's Hospital and died an hour later. Oh, my God. Probably had a stroke. He was 48. My brain is on fire.

I'm starting to think there's a connection between all the inhalants. Oh, I'd forgotten about those. In 1864, the American Dental Association honored Horace Wells as the discoverer of modern anesthesia. As did the American Medical Association of 1870. There we go. You could say from a thinking standpoint, his brain was on fire. Thank you.

Yeah, you're welcome. Everybody's welcome. Massachusetts General still celebrates Ether Day. On their website it reads, On October 16, 1846, Boston dentist William T.G. Martin revolutionized the practice of medicine when he held the first successful demonstration of Ether

as a surgical anesthetic. What are we going to do this year for Ether Day? That's a good question. We really should do some Ether. We should do an Ether Day. Did I say what day it is? October 16 is Ether Day. Let's do it.

Happy Ether Day. Ether Day. Today the most common modern. If it falls on a Sunday, you could call it Easter. Keep going. I don't know if we should. Yeah, you're right. Now that it's out in the open and we're able to weigh it.

Today the most common modern general anesthetics are mixtures of inhalable gases, inhalable gases, which include nitrous oxide and various derivatives of Ether. Because the drugs interfere with breathing, patients are often intubated. Like I was like you were. Meaning a plastic or rubber tube is inserted in the trachea to keep the airway open and on a medical ventilator.

Scientists aren't sure exactly how anesthetics work. Evidence now supports the idea that the drugs interfere with nerve signals by targeting specific protein molecules embedded in nerve cell membranes. But the precise mechanisms remain unknown. Ether and nitrous can be purchased on Amazon.com. Ether can be purchased on Amazon? Yeah.

What? How? Why? Is that not crazy? Yeah, it's crazy to me. But straight up by Ether. That sounds like nitrous. I know what I'm going to make someone for Ether Day.

What are you going to do for Nitrous Day? What the fuck do you think? Have my mom go to the store and buy some whipped cream for the Sunday party I'm going to have in my mouth. Another one's dead. I swear I think Reddy should be out of business. You have to wonder if it seems like every great invention seems to be followed by some asshole trying to do something

to follow up. Well, the truth is too. I think with patents and stuff, with many things, there's two kinds of people. There's the people who have their mind on solving the problem. And then there's the people who have their mind on getting rich off of a solved problem before the solver has the business sense to ratchet it up.

So you have, that's why the, I mean, it's the same thing with why we only have, why assholes are politicians. It's because, you know, I know. But no good people are like, I don't want to go through that. It sounds like a fucking mortal nightmare. But assholes are like, I think I could make some money. Convincing people, I want to help them.

You shouldn't be able to patent medical stuff. People say that if you couldn't patent it, then people wouldn't try to make it, which, I don't know. Yeah, but that's so stupid, right? Don't you think? No, there would be a lot less medical advances. The truth is a lot of medical advances actually come out of military technology, like stuff like scans and shit like that.

Right. That came from military spending. See, so there is a good side. Yeah, I mean, we need to fund. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying get the money out of medical. You've always seen like a bit of a war. Put it in the military.

Yeah. It's all about the military. No, yeah. No, you need to have patents because it drives everything, but they need to be changed. Yeah. And there's shit that shouldn't be fucking patented. Like if it's going to save someone's life, then Jesus Christ really.

Yeah. And you also shouldn't have ether, Davey, a thing. I don't know. And honest to God, we should try ether. I want to try chloroform now. If you want to, I'm down to try some ether if you want to try a little C form. Famous final conversations. We can periscope it.

What happened to that dollar podcast? Oh, you didn't hear? They died on ether day. All right. We're signing cars. We're signing cars.