The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 148 - James Strang: Island Mormon

Episode Date: January 24, 2016

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the strange story of Mormon James Strang. SOURCESTOUR DATESREDBUBBLE MERCH  

When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun your home might be worth more than you think find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host you are listening to the dollop this is a bi-weekly American History podcast each week I David Shawn Anthony Shawn read a

story from American history not German or all the other ideas you guys sent me it's an American history podcast I say it every week mer- American I read story to my friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is about but knows that it's not gonna be German. I get him every every week I get one from another country just they keep coming. Is it German people or it's no they're from all people sent them from all countries all over the world like this thing with this one is great you're like I know but up top I say American history that is a story I don't think a lot of people have heard

people have not heard it not in Iran anyway it's it's interesting it was a weird time it's super weird. God do you want to look who to do? I'll do one bottle. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gareth. Stay okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is not gonna come to tickling podcast. Okay. You are queen fakie of made-up town. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle and do what? Pray. Hi Gary. No. Is he done my friend? No. March 21st, 1813. We should have him as a guest on a podcast. We should. 1813? Yeah. Okay. James Jesse Strang was born to Clemente and Abigail Strang in Cipriko,

New York. All normal sounding. His childhood was full of sickness and suffering. Oh God. At one point it was thought he was dead and the family started to make preparations for his burial. He was just really deep in asleep. But he wasn't. He was just dying. They thought he was dead. Yeah he was really sick and they're like that's it for this one. They might have just been like we're done. He's always. Let's see if we can bury him before he wakes up. Yeah. I'm not dead yet. Strang said all of his early memories were painful. Okay. He described his childhood quote, I learned from many sources that in childhood I

exhibited extraordinarily mental imbecility. Okay. He just called himself an extraordinary idiot. Yeah. Yeah. Well it's nice. That's perspective. Indeed all who knew me except my parents thought me scarcely more than idiotic. It sounds like he came out of it. I well remember that school teachers not unfrequently turned me off with little or no attention as though I was too stupid to learn and too dull to feel neglect. Wow. And my fellows and my school fellows did not forget to add their plight. I remember myself as little disposed to play seldom cheerful and scarcely ever taking the slightest

interest in the plays of others. Long weary days I sat upon the floor thinking thinking thinking occasionally asking a strange uninfantile question and never getting an answer. So. Wow. He was basically treated like a canned ham. Well listen I mean most kids most kids like to play he liked to think think think sitting and thinking. That's fun huh. Yeah. So he had a great child. Just gonna go to that floor and have a fathom real quick. Often when kids have a child like that they turn out great. That's true. Yeah. Okay. Because I feel like ideal well adjusted people. Okay. Because I. Okay. Go ahead. Yeah. In 1816 the family

moved to Hanover New York. The Strangs were living in what was known as the burned over district. I'm hoping that that's one word and it's a last. We've talked about it before. Damn it. As we have stated before it says right here in my. I don't get I don't get to look at that. This is basically like the Wild West area of religion with no organization in place people were moving in rapidly and crazy religions popped up left and right. So people are filling the void by starting their own religion. Yeah. Well I'm close to doing that. Yeah. Gearchology is actually a very interesting religion. I'd love to have you be a part of it.

He's just doing sit ups. Don't worry about that is the craziest thing I've ever seen. He just did a sit up. He gets pretty weird in that chair. Look at that. Yoga. When when James is 15 he had an affair with a woman named Nancy Crawford. She was 20. His father then sent him because of this to the camp to a Fredonia male Academy where he remained for three years. He had some pretty grand ideas for his future which he wrote in his diary at the time. Okay. Quote I am 19 years old and am yet no more than a common farmer. Tis too bad. I ought to have been a member of the Assembly or Brigadier General before this time if I

am ever to rival Caesar or Napoleon which I've sworn to. They're pretty big names. You know what I mean. I don't know if you want to have a goal. Yeah. I mean but I mean look everybody we all got a dream to achieve. That is true. That is true. It's big. Those are big ones. Dreaming big. I am sometimes almost discouraged as to the great matters that have so long occupied my mind and have this winter seriously thought of marrying a young lady of moderate fortune and settling in private life. But the dreams of Empire are so thoroughly imprinted on my mind as not to be easily erased. But I have discouragement from

the fact that I have never done one great thing. Well there's a there's a difference right there. Yeah. It's hard to face reality when you want to be an emperor. Yes. Right. Yeah. No. Dreaming to be an emperor. I mean it's tough. It is the bottom up to build an empire. A lot of people don't build an empire from a farm in New York. Yeah. Well and they also were doing things when they were children that maybe would inform things like that as opposed to just sitting on a floor and staring and every now and then asking a really weird question. More from the diary. June 1832. I spent the day trying to contrive some plan of

marrying the hare to the English crown. The heir to the English crown. Not the hare. Sorry. The hare that's dangling on the crown. I'm going to marry that one hare in the crown. It's yeah. It's another spell. Correction. The heir to the English crown. Well that's a good way to spend your day. Look how can I get this done. Yeah. For sure. For sure. Pining to marry a princess. It is difficult business for me but I shall try if there is at least a chance. So so far he wants to be Napoleon and marry a princess. Yeah. This might be. How old is he. He's not four. This might be what happens when you let a kid sit on the floor and don't

talk to him. Get him a chair. My mind has always been filled with dreams of royalty and power. Well it's so is everybody's. No but this is a kid who is completely neglected so he's like I'm going to be an emperor. So yeah it is kind of spite filled huh. Yeah well it's it's a reaction to being ignored and called an idiot. Yeah. So now he wants to be the most powerful thing on earth. So he's a villain. Indeed I not know what to do. Sometimes I have almost a mind to become a priest but that is too small business for me. Boy he really won't be caged. In August.

I now solemnly confirm to be a priest a lawyer a conqueror and a legislator unless I find better business. Well I mean you better tell the business card people to get the slashes ready. Yeah there's gonna be a lot of slashes. A lot of titles. November. Admit all the evils of the disturbances of our national affairs there is one consolation. That is if our government is overthrown some master spirit may form another. May I be the one. Oh boy. I tremble when I write. Oh boy. But it is true. Oh boy. Oh no no no no no no no.

Overthrow huh. So he has some goals some big ideas and stuff. He's got big ideas. Big ideas. Big ideas. Dreamer. While he continued to plot he studied law and was admitted to the New York state bar at the age of 23. He didn't think much of it quote I should rather be the best hunter in an Indian tribe than a common place member of the New York bar. Okay. I am sorry I have not made more improvement in preparing for my great designs. True I have done nothing in all my life and am a fool yet. So wherever he is he just wants to be

somewhere else. He just wants to be bigger and better. He's studying to be a lawyer. He wants to be an emperor. Yeah. What the fuck is passing the bar gonna do. Baby steps. Baby steps. I mean he's already 23 how is he not an emperor or a brigadier general. Jump into a throne. How is he not a brigadier general. Get a goddamn degree. He became so disgusted with himself. For not being an emperor. Then he grew a thick brown beard to hide his face and quote ease the pain of what he saw in the mirror.

I've done that. Been there. He became a postmaster publisher and editor of a local paper. In 1836 he married the daughter of a Baptist minister Mary Pierce. They had four children Mariette, Mary, William and Hattie. In 1843 he was fired from his postmaster job and moved the family to Burlington Wisconsin. Oh boy. Where he practiced law. Did he open the coat factory. I hope so. And he might not have been isn't that Burlington in Vermont the coat factory.

Listen the point is we have one in Wisconsin. You're from Wisconsin. Listen a coat factory is a fucking coat factory. No your place. And he and he might not have been the best lawyer. At one point he sued on behalf of a client because he claimed a neighbor's bees had stolen honey from his client's bee farm. Well but in his defense that's really easy to prove. You just got to get the bees to testify. Oh man when I get those bees up there and cross-examine them this is gonna be fucking nuts.

They're incriminating themselves all over the hive look at them. The judge was impressed with the arguments he made and how he explored the law to find new ways to make his case even though it was ridiculous. Yeah. But above all Strang was a great magnetic speaker. He spoke with great emotion and energy. He was a small man with red hair and a reddish beard. He had dark piercing eyes. They were very close together and he had what was described as a massive forehead.

This made it seem like his features were grouped together in the middle of his head. Sorry so he's got... He's got scrunch face. He's got scrunch face. Have you ever seen anybody with their face all scrunched up? Yeah I don't know if I've ever seen anybody that looks like their features are connected to a magnetic nose though. I'm gonna pull the picture here for you. Of him? Or of scrunch face? Scrunch face look at him. Oh wow yeah that okay I get that. I mean it's all down in the middle.

Well he there's a lot of things he's not getting any favors from the top or the bottom of his face. Okay that's why you got to be an emperor. Yep. James's brother-in-law Benjamin became a member of the newly formed Mormon Church. In 1844 a highly ranked member of the church visited Burlington and James Strang was persuaded by his message. James went to the largest

Mormon settlement in Anavu Illinois where he was baptized by Joseph Smith the founder of the Mormon Church. Listen I mean if you're gonna get it done. If you're like if you're an emperor the top dog's gonna baptize you right. They definitely have the same guy who found golden plates in his yard. Hey now. What? What? Joseph Smith asked Strang. What the hell's wrong with me? To find land near Burlington Wisconsin for a new settlement and off James went and he kept busy. Over an eight-week period he traveled

3,860 miles. Wow. Attended five conferences, preached 81 sermons and made converts to the cause. But then tragedy struck. People realize Mormonism was crazy. What? No. Just four months after James was baptized Joseph Smith was murdered in Illinois. Now leaderless several Mormons tried to claim they should lead the group. One of those men was of course James Strang. Wow okay. Strang said that he had been ordained by angels

at the exact same time that Joseph Smith was killed. Well I mean do we need to hear from the other candidates? I feel like we've got our winner. We know who's accurate. The dude who had the angel party. Even though he was 200 miles away at the time and didn't know about Joseph Smith's death. So he was like what are you doing here angel? That's one of those things too where like if you're running against him you can I mean it's really just who can pretend the best.

So you could just be like ah but unfortunately I talked to the real angels and they said those were devil angels in disguise. It's it's hard to not it's hard to not to prove a guy didn't see an angel and talk to it. Yeah right. It is it's hard. It's hard but it's equally as hard to prove that he did. Okay fair. But Strang then produced a letter of appointment from Joseph Smith. It had a Navu Illinois postmark and was dated June 18th

1844 nine days before Smith's murder. Interesting. So nine days before he was killed Joseph Smith mailed a letter saying you're number you're after me bro. After me but I'll be here for ages. The signature was most probably most probably forged. The what? Yeah. How? Yeah. Did the angels let him know? But the letter was good enough for some Mormons. Well listen it's always been hard to make a you know you got to make a really

good case to convince them. Others thought not so much. The letter wasn't written in Joseph Smith's usual style and those in power excommunicated Strang from the Mormon church for his blatant power grab. Brigham Young then took over the Mormons and took most of Joseph Smith's followers to Utah. Another guy Rigdon led a smaller group to Pennsylvania and then there was Strang. He now had a flock of thousands. Okay. So thousands of people were like I'm on board with this shit. Hey man I believe

you when you said that group of angels partied. They became known as the Strangites. Strangites? Yeah it was Strang. Strangite. Sure yeah it's catchy. Many of them joined him because he was against polygamy. Well can I. The other two were for polygamy he's against it. Okay so so there's a bunch of this is what I'll say. Okay. Now if you're going to if you're going to buy into a version of the religion. Yeah.

I and again I don't agree with the tenets of said religion. Sure. And I don't believe that polygamy should be a thing but if you're under the umbrella of Mormonism why not go to the one where you you know you get a bunch of wives. Come on. Because I'm assuming that there are a lot of wives that are going yeah we're not going with a fucking polygamist. Sorry my one my first wife or my only wife she wants to be called has been a real see you next Thursday you know what I mean. She doesn't get it.

Okay so in a few months he has a few thousand followers. It's all going according to plan. Sure. Empire being built. Absolutely. Look at Napoleon. Now if you don't know how Mormonism kicked off. Joseph Smith had some visions and one night was visited by an angel who told him to dig up a book made of golden plates and other assorted stuff. He did and a religion was started. Yeah. I should add I don't think one religion deserves criticism over another. They are all that crazy on a level. Well what what is always the most

fascinating thing about religion is the arguing of total hypotheticals. Yes. So where you're just like my goodness what. You believe the Holy Ghost did what the Holy Ghost did nothing of this sort. My man he was tied up. Suddenly James Strang started having visions and revelations from God. Don't you just wish you could just yeah you didn't have the moral authority inside of yourself to just be like I don't want to lie to people.

Because then it would just be so easy to be like God just guys I just came from the bedroom had a cup of tea with God and whoa first of all big fan of me. Right. Big fan. He called me blowjob Jeff. So and I said does that mean I'm blowing people. Apparently no. I'm getting blown. All the time. All the time. All the time. He said if my cock's not in a mouth I'm sinning. Right. So the line is here and I'm just gonna take these off. That's all I can remember right now. He said he loved me. Give me your money

and the line is to the left. Exactly. Right. One of his visions and revelations was about plates. But these weren't golden plates. No. These were what he called the Vori plates. Right. Of course. Strang got a message from God telling him where to find these plates. Yes. In Vori near Burlington. So it's the idea that maybe God was moving and just lost a lot of plates. Yeah. Yeah. And then and then these ones he named after the place that they were. Yeah. Well listen. He's a very

this this all seeing all knowing powerful being is really uncreated when it comes to. Plus the plates are close to Strang's house. Listen. I'm sorry Dave are you being an asshole arguing that God's not making it too tough on him. Come on dude. He hooked him up. Actually you know there's some plates really near here you should probably dig up. Very close by. As a matter of fact it's a stone's throw. Other plates the plates were buried under an oak tree. When Strang brought his followers there

and they dug they found a case of slightly baked clay containing three plates of brass. They were metal plates that were also transcribed into the book of Mormon. How how like the idea of having to pretend like you're surprised that those plates. Oh my god he was right. Holy moly. He was being honest I've been surprised as you are. I thought it was maybe a prank prayer. I thought we might be digging for eggs. Look at this just like he said three plates on this area that is particularly

soily around this grassy area. They contain an unknown language. The plates. Fortunately Strang could translate them. Listen. What are you you're angry because the guy speaks gibberish. They contain the final testament of an ancient american ruler named Raja Manchao of Vorito. Yep. Strang published his translation of the plates in his church's newspaper The Vory Herald. Yep. It worked. A lot of Mormons thought the new plates were a sign that Strang was Smith's true successor.

Yeah no look. But why wouldn't they the first guy found plates if another guy found plates and a bunch of people saw it they're like this is another the next plate guy. It's simple it's just it's build I wish Joseph Smith was alive for that part. Because then you can't you can't call bullshit. Nope. You got to be like no I guess there were more plates. Uh fuck. I would like to talk to you behind closed doors for a second. Get in here. All right motherfucker I know you buried those plates. I did not I found them from. Yeah you did I buried my plates.

What? Or no I found God. I think you are the second coming as well. Thank you brother. Yes. Also does anyone know where God buried forks and napkins. We're looking to have a dinner. Cups and mugs would be great. Uh Smith then wrote about revelations he was having. One said that Brigham Young was inspired by Satan and that James Strang was the actual prophet. It's just. That's a convenient one. It's just amazing. Also God chose James to be a king and said he was the chief shepherd of the

whole flock of earth. Yeah. So now we're getting to what he was talking about earlier. Yep. Emperor. Now Mormons did not have the best reputation. Were not really wanted anywhere and were being persecuted. So Strang decided to find a suitable location for his kingdom. He took about 200 of his flock in 1848 and headed north to the beaver group of islands in Lake Michigan. Beaver Island itself was a 56 square mile that had been put up for settlement by the government.

It had lots of lumber and plenty of fishing and it was remote which was just what the Mormons wanted. Sorry. Go ahead. The one Mormon man against polygamy is moving everyone to Beaver Island. That is absolutely correct. Interesting. Well they thought about going to Pussy Island. Yeah. But it was taken. And we're not going to the archipelago of cock. Pussy Island it was just wall to wall dudes. Yeah. Who were like I thought it would be different. This is kind of shitty. Beaver Island was

sparsely inhabited at that time by some Native Americans and a few settlers who were mostly fishermen. Strang and his followers bought some land on the island and quickly set up a colony. It was supposed to be remote and isolated but that wasn't entirely true. On a nearby island Mackinac Island there was a large fishing community that was not pleased. They harassed the Strangites sometimes attacking them. Shopkeepers wouldn't sell to the Strangites and on Beaver Island

there were Gentiles already living there and a small trading post. Okay. The dislike of the Strangites was immediate. Those living on Mackinac Island didn't want another group coming in and taking their fishing area. The Strangites started to started a paper to counter the Mackinac Island's paper which was constantly calling out the Mormons for being assholes. Just started the other Mormons aren't assholes weekly paper. They had it back and forth with their newspapers. That's cool.

That's how you do it. That's how it starts. Yeah. If you can't get your propaganda through far enough just start a paper. The Strangites were also thrown by how different Beaver Island was from how they were told it would be by Strang. Well by the way he's going off of God's words. Right. So maybe God's the liar. Thank you. Or maybe this is a prank. Why don't you read the plates? You know what I'm saying? I'll translate him again guys. I'll translate him again. It says go to vagina island. Oh God. This was a pure hardship. This was the wild. They came from

settled farmland and now we're in nature starting from scratch. So at what point if you're one of the guys who followed him are you like this is really fucking down. Oh for me. For me as well. This next thing. This next thing I'm about to read. For me it would be this next thing. Okay go. Strang was then coronated king. Okay. They were about 300 people in attendance. He wore a bright red flannel robe topped by a white collar with black speckles. He had a breastplate and carried a wooden scepter.

And of course a crown described as quote a shiny metal ring with a cluster of glass stars in front. Oh my God. I mean like you got to be sitting there going like I mean we had a really nice light. What the fuck is happening. This guy holy shit. Look at his fucking crown. Joseph Smith this wasn't a thing. I'll tell you one thing. It takes a lot for me to miss Joseph Smith bullshit. Strang got a traveling Shakespearean actor named George Allen to help him with the pump and circumstance of the event. Adams placed the crown on Strang's head

anointing him King James the first. All right by the power of bullshit. You're the king. And as an actor. This goes on the head. And with all the power of pretending to be others. I bestow upon the head of V the crown made earlier today. What the sorry who's paying me for this shit. There's somebody. At the ceremony Strang anointed his followers with a quote. Holy oil that had a queer smell. The mixture the mixture was olive oil and phosphorus. When he threw it on them

it lit up their heads and everyone was very excited. Wow doesn't take much. Days before Strang had told one of his followers to get a couple of bottles of phosphorus dress up in a long white robe and stand on the highest hill on Beaver Island. When he broke the bottles of phosphorus blew a trumpet and and then he vanished. That made it seem like an angel had visited. Oh my god excitement was all around. So then and then there's other people on Beaver Island too right like you said there's some settlers

who are probably just like sweet. What in the fuck is happening right now? An angel. Yeah well your angel just fucking fell over a rock. He's walking down the back of the hill. The angel. Not very well either. He looks very scared of falling. Your angel. Strang returned the favor to Adams the actor and made him prime minister. Hey if I want to thank you for helping out with the king ceremony. How would you like to be prime minister? I'm sorry? Would you like to be prime minister of Beaver Island? Well I don't. I mean I've never worked in government.

Don't worry about it. You were an actor right? Yeah. So act like a prime minister. I am in. I'm obsessed. Yes let's yeah. Yeah let's do it. Yeah great. Let's do it. Great. What's up Primey? Hey Prezi. A king but sorry. Sorry. Let's get that straight. Line. But some found this all a bit strange as not all the people who had come were Mormons. Some were just. Realists. Convinced by Strangites that this was a great place to start a new life and so they followed. They didn't find out they'd be living under a king until they got there.

A king. And many didn't even know what Strangites were until they were living amongst them. Right. One of the people who was not a Mormon was James Strang's wife. Uh so she's uncomfortable. She didn't believe in James teachings. They had been married before he converted and she'd not got along with the whole thing. She actually probably buried the fucking plates. She's like you know I'm just gonna stay uh Protestant if that's cool. No. I'm gonna stay

um yeah I'm just gonna be a Protestant. No. I don't know what this is. You're you're saying you found plates. Yeah. God told me where they're put the place for. Yeah but God doesn't talk to you. Yeah I did. When you went out to go get those eggs. Jimmy. Jimmy. Don't call me Jimmy. Jimmy how long have you been married? I don't know. I wasn't listening. God didn't just start talking to you. Yeah he did. He did. When you went out and got those eggs. Listen. Okay. Would I lie? Okay. Listen. What about this sounds crazy. You know what.

Listen baby. Shut the fuck up. Listen to me. Okay that's. Listen. When you went out to get those eggs. Yeah I went out to get eggs. You were gone for what 20-25 minutes. Yeah. And then while you were gone. Right. God popped in. No he didn't. Talk to me. Taught me a Martian language. Buried some plates made of bronze out pretty close and then he didn't want to see you. He doesn't like you I guess. He wanted to be gone by the time he got back. He said he didn't want to be. He didn't want to be that guy is what he kept

saying. He goes I don't want to be that guy. Jimmy. When we met you were like I want to be emperor and I was like well that's fun. I know and isn't it crazy how you can manifest a dream if you really believe in yourself. That's like a funny thing that he'll get over and he'll get a real job. And he'll become. Get a real job. Well you'll work in a newspaper. And support the family. Of course I'm supporting the family. Okay God is my best friend. Okay I'm gonna go for a walk. Okay but while you're gone don't be surprised if you come back and God's

been chatting to me again. Okay. Okay. Okay Jimmy. Good pal. One neighbor told the new arrival quote I have no faith in straying at all. I fear he is misleading those people and I'm afraid they will cause us lots of trouble before long but my husband thinks they're well-meaning people. So there is the smartest person there. We have invested considerable money which I feel we shall regret. Yes. Yep. Next the followers were told to work on building Strang's giant king house. This was another revelation from God.

Well listen yeah you know I mean look. So I got a new one last night God wants me to have like a really big pad like a super big house. We're all very hungry. Yeah but here's the thing God said he'll give you food after I get a house. Can I ask you a fair quote why does God like you so much more than us? I don't know. God it would be great to eat. I don't know man I don't know I don't know what's going on I just know God's like 19 rooms. But after we build you the kingdom then yep we can have we can have some pudding or whatever yeah. Is it pudding?

Yeah but good old God. We need sustenance. God putting. That sounds weird. He said if they built the house they would get quote extraordinary endowment of heavy illumination protecting them from all the shafts of Satan. Yeah careful too because Satan's everywhere. But they weren't protected from winter. Oh well couldn't God just put it on a hole? In 1849 sickness hit the Strangites. Food was hard to come by and they didn't have any money. They did not know how to fish and they

had come too late to plant crops. Their clothing was not made for cold northern weather. The Strangites began showing up at Gentile's homes looking for food. Strang was no help because he was gone. He left before winter hit to recruit more Mormons down south where it was warmer. It had done vacation in the south now that I have a bunch of money. See you guys I will be back in a bit. Okay. Just a couple of months or whatever. Just you guys live through this. I'll be back with reinforcements.

The whole winter the Strangites kept crying. Oh if only our king was here as they starved to death. Oh God. The non the Strangites started burying their food so they wouldn't have to share it with the Strangites. You know that's amazing that they're actually burying the things of value after the plate incident. No the non the the non Strangites yeah they're burying stuff yeah that the people who are burying things of value are the ones who don't buy the bullshit. Those who knew how to fish began to teach the Strangites how and put out nets to catch fish

for them but several still died. Strang came back in the spring when it was warmer. How was your winter? Hey guys. You guys fair. Oh my god I am wearing shorts. I have had quite the hot or the religious recruitment. He was his usual commonser himself. He went from house to house and everyone was so thrilled to see him again that they seemed to forget their horrific winter. He visited one non Mormon family and they told him of all the suffering that had occurred and he responded quote oh they must get used to island life and expect to have some hardships.

What a prick. More Mormons that Strang had recruited began arriving. God the more. Yeah. Can you I mean can you we were just we we really are just from such idiots. Yeah. Just so stupid. Yeah I don't know how you you're living somewhere and some guy comes down. This is what I can never understand. So you're somewhere and a dude comes and tells you about a new God and you buy it and then you go there like I can never get that. There's just no like with no evidence

with no evidence. But you've been living this whole life and all sudden you're like oh really. Well God said it. Plates and are under a thing. You promise God said that. The new arrival seemed to have a better understanding of farming and taking care of themselves. Each family gave 10 percent of their earnings to the king. The king. He then implemented his own rules. There would be no alcohol. Baptisms for the dead. What? Well that's what a lot of Mormons do. They baptized the dead.

Yeah it's a thing. Animal sacrifices tobacco coffee and tea were not allowed. Okay. Oh no animal sacrifices were allowed. He had animal sacrifices. Yeah that's what I thought. But tobacco coffee and tea were not allowed. Cool. Some were even more strange. One was to build and maintain island roads. So that's a weird. Well that's a weird revelation. Yeah. Build and maintain roads. He also said roads. He said we need some roads. He was really. God and I can be very specific. He told me we need some roads up in this bitch. I mean this is like real life

sims. He forbid marrying dwarves hunchbacks and other deformed persons. I think that's I mean listen. You really have to tell people. I mean I feel like people in this time are already kind of like nah but you have to be like none of them. Hold on now everybody no hunchbacks. Put me hunchbacks married dwarves sir. Maybe. Ah fuck. I got to talk to you. Fine but nobody watched them fornicate. I got to talk to God about that one. That's very specific. He also forbid fashionably narrow shoes. Boy this God honestly sounds like he's like a cast member of fashion 911.

The Council of Apostles was formed. They made laws and punished strangites who disobeyed. Some were now being excommunicated and thrown off the island. Dr. H.D. McCullough was excommunicated for drunkenness. Others like Thomas Bedford were flogged for adultery. That is something Thomas Bedford never forgot. When the non then the non Mormon fishing men were taxed. How did they take that? Ten dollars per boat. Made the king quite a bit of money.

Wait they accepted that? Yeah well they were making so outnumbered. They were making so much money from fishing and they were outnumbered that they didn't really cause a lot of. Well that's terrible. However nothing strange did please the non strangites on Mackinac Island. They continued to harass and tensions between the groups continued to build. Okay. Strang also had new revelations when he returned from his winter journey. You mean new bullshit. Revelations. God talked to him again.

He's out there for months. God just lay it all out there once. God and chat. They like he likes to be one at a time. Lay him out. It sounds like he doesn't really know the future as much as he would think and all saying all knowing all you know. If you do them all once people forget stuff. Well just get right him on some fucking plates and bury him. First he said that God wanted strangites to take what they needed from the Gentiles. Oh my god. Boy this is God, huh? It was their

privilege to take. Not cool. To take from them. Not cool. Suddenly the non strangites on Beaver Island felt very insecure about their living situation. Yeah as they fucking should. The effect was immediate. The strangites started taking from the non strangites. Suddenly the peaceful coexistence between the two people were gone. Peoples were gone. Mr. Peter McKinley suffered considerably as strangites took his cattle and butchered them. A Mormon boy who worked for McKinley told

him that the strangites were doing this and for that the boy was given 50 lashes by his fellow strangites. Jesus. Don't be a snitch bro. Yeah but. Don't be a snitch bro. Right but. Snitches get lashes. Snitches get lashes. From a memoir. Quote we were styled one morning to hear several boats and nets had been taken by the Mormons along with many barrels of fish from the store houses near the lighthouse. Some Ohio fishermen had stored their fish and other property expecting to come back in the spring

leaving a man to look after the property. The Mormons took everything to the harbor. Our people saw them passing very early in the morning they were all well armed and ready to resist any interference from the Gentiles. Yeah but the joke's kind of on them because if you leave fish frozen for that long the flavor's really basically gone. It's not good. It's going to be dry. I mean you can't make sushi that's for sure. Yeah it's just I mean it'll you know it'll do but. Dry it out but it's just for sustenance at that point. You want to go you want to go you know

water to table mainly so this is kind of like. Right. Yeah. There's not really a winner in this. It's a bad idea. Yeah. So anything on the island no matter who's it was was now strangites. The kings. Yeah. Sure. Beaver Island started to get a bad name with ships. Mm-hmm. Between 1849 and 1851 three ships that stopped there were never heard from again. There's nothing more and more like a ghost island. So they would attack the ships at night.

And then. And take everything off it and then scuttle the ship. Right. And many items from the ships were later found in the possession of the strangites. That's really crazy. At the same time James Strang sent out apostles to travel the country to bring new converts to the island and they came. Of course they did. They heard about the abundance. Yeah. The non-strangites on the island were now very much fearing the strangites. The strangites started carrying knives and guns. So they're getting

getting shady. Yeah shit's getting real. They would just come to a home enter without knocking and demand a meal. Wow that is some bold shit right there. Yeah feed us. Hi I'm gonna need some uh no not this I would like something better. Maybe a stew. What is your best food. Make that. Sometimes they would spend the night. We're gonna go to your bed for a sleep. They're Goldilocksing this place. It's full on Goldilocks. In 1850 the local fishermen had had it with the strangites. They planned a

Fourth of July celebration at Beaver Island which was to end in the forcible expulsion of the strangites. Awesome. So they got good and drunk and then headed for the island to do their work. Well can I say that's a flaw. Well you gotta start getting a little lubed up get ready for the party. Might want to go sober. Yeah no shit no girl you gotta go in a party. I'm a boy. Okay uh so they get drunk they head there but as they arrived strang fired a cannon he had secretly purchased at them

and all of the terrified fishermen took off. Listen God. God had a yeah God said God was like get a cannon. God was like hey bro get a big gun. But also there I mean these guys are pussies obviously. Now when you're shooting okay so when they're shooting when he's shooting a cannon I mean is he shooting a cannon ball. Yeah. So what the fuck just. I know you gotta reload it you gotta do a whole thing it seems like yeah you don't quit after one maybe three if you're like. But they didn't know how many had when he shoots the one. Listen I think if I was

back then I would have fucking been like you're gonna tear that shit up. Yeah. I'd be like he's gotta reload. One of the biggest reasons many Mormons followed strang after Joseph Smith died. Because they're idiots. As I said before was polygamy and strang being against it. This has he's marrying more written all over. He didn't stop those who had more than one wife but he did say no more wives could be taken. But now suddenly he was given a new revelation. Excuse me it's God again. Polygamy. Fuck them all.

Fuck them all is what he said. What? He wrote it on this bullshit I mean on this plate. And he did this with his fist. He was like fuck around. He was very graphic. He said anal is fine. Yes so polygamy now must be practiced. Cool well listen. Of course all of his followers were blindsided by this revelation. It's a different revelation. This was the complete opposite of what he'd been saying the entire time. But he had a good theory. He said that polygamy would liberate and elevate the women by allowing

them to choose the best possible mate even if he was already married. So they wouldn't have to pick from a bunch of leftover shitty dudes. They could go to the top. No they could go to the taken ones. Yeah. Yeah way better. Yeah that's better. That's better. Why have a bad meal to yourself when you can have a taste of a good one. Thank you. Yeah. He kicked it all off by taking a second wife for himself. And you know what I'm gonna start the party off. Nancy I've had my own fucking for a while. What up girl? God said you were ready to go.

Then the original Mrs. Strang. Was cool. Not a Mormon. Packed her shit. Took the three kids and split. Well somebody is selfish and not listening to word of God. Wow somebody's not into God at all. Lord. But the second wife wasn't as flashy as you'd expect. Strang had her dress in men's clothes and they travel around trying to convert people like a couple of bros. He called her Charles Douglas. Okay so I'm sorry. Can we just uh Cuz okay. I don't know. Okay well here's the thing right is that

you understand why he's doing all of this up until now. Like you get it it's coming from a selfish greedy place. Yeah. We took a left turn. Why is he now turning his second wife into a boy and going to. Hey shit just got weird. Yeah. What's happening? It's a pretty weird call. And what is he calling? Charles Douglas. But my name's Betty. Easy. Easy Chuck. Come on Chuck. Shut up. Come on Chuck. Oh man. I can't wait to get you out of that three piece suit when we get home.

So then he took three more wives. Very young and uh VZ allowed to dress like women which was cool. Oh that's cool. Wait the other one wasn't even allowed to dress like a woman. No she was she had to dress like a dude all the time. Oh my god. That's fucking crazy. It's very straight. I would understand that if that's wife three and you're like hey just for a change up. But right out of the gate to be like the next wife you're your only wife for a minute just like a boy. Okay so your wife too bro. So God told me some more crazy stuff. He wants

my new wife to be a boy. Anyway. With a vagina. I'm starting to wonder if it's just some dude with a megaphone or something. God actually said vagina boy. Yeah he did. He said a vagina boy. This is Mary Henderson's story. I spoke with my husband about the polygamy doctrine and he said have no fears. Strength can never make me bring another wife into our home. On the eighth anniversary of our wedding my husband said to me I shall not be home to dinner as there is some very important business to be done at the temple.

I followed him to the door saying now remember this is our anniversary. Just as the clock struck five I heard the gate click and our faithful dog gave a low growl. I hurried to the door. My husband was coming up the path with a woman holding it onto his arm. Before I had time to move or speak they stepped past me into the house. My husband said to me Mary let me introduce you to my wife to whom I have just been sealed in this spirit this day and I hope you will welcome her and show her the respect which is her due from you. Happy anniversary.

Unbelievable. Worst anniversary ever. Unbelievable. I stood still. I could not move. I could not speak. My tongue would not move in my mouth. That's crazy. On the anniversary. And just to go to town. I'll be back in a bit. Oh such a fucking thing. Here's a woman who'll be living with us. Look what I found. She's also a wife. The women of the island are becoming more and more upset as their husbands brought home new wives. Don't they respect God? Yeah that's what I'm thinking. I mean

what about God? Yeah he wants them all to get that. Be a little more selfish. Yeah honestly. Several women went to speak to the king as a group and begged him not to do this. Strang said he did not propose to be ruled by a lot of weak whining women. Also you right there come here you're a wife now. The women were sent off the island away from their families. Oh wow Jesus Christ. What? Well that's what do you mean what? Hardball bro. Yeah no that is hardball. Word of what was called the Michigan Mormon

trouble finally reached president Millard Fillmore. Well king outdoes president. Well that's what I think. He told the attorney general to begin prosecution of Strang for federal charges including treason, delaying the mail, cutting timber from public lands, tax irregularities and counterfeiting. I just grabbed a bunch. Okay. It made me laugh to go from treason to delaying the mail. Jame Strang and a hundred of his followers were taken aboard the U.S. Naval Gunboat Michigan and brought to Detroit in May of

1851. It was sorry was King Strang taken? Yeah. That has got to be such a fucking awkward boat ride. Oh. So why are we going here if you're the king right? So why are we going maybe be prosecuted? What did God say about any of this? He said do it. He was like get in there. Get in there. Get be good. He likes the idea. Yeah he's totally down. Okay. Just seems like. Is that your wife or is that? I don't have any more questions. Okay cool. We're good talking to you.

Yeah I don't want to. Yeah. All right. Cool. Catch you around. You met Charles? Yeah you mean your man wife? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway um this has been a good trip overall um so boy I hope you're right otherwise it kind of feels like my life was wasted. What do you tell you? No hang in there. All right it's just there's a lot of punches we're rolling with over here. God gave me revelation last night and it was a cat hanging from a tree branch and he said hang in there. That sounds like God.

Having been trained as a lawyer Strang acted as his own defense attorney and won the case. Oh my god. This made him a national celebrity and got him positive coverage by the Michigan press. He was now a well-liked celebrity. Oh my god. Didn't go the way you thought I would did it. Nope. No. Well that's because this is what God wanted. Yeah right for sure. Strang then ran and won a seat in the 1853 Michigan state legislature where he no no no no no served two terms. No no no no no no no no.

This is he still a king? Yeah. So now a king is working in the government. Little fucking side work. Seems a little below him. The king needs to know what the people are doing. Sure. The same magnetism and speaking skills that made him a cult leader were at work here. His fellow legislatures became big fans and they now figured everyone who had been talking shit about him on the island were nuts. Yeah they're crazy. But while in the legislature he also fought against people being able to sell or trade alcohol

to Native Americans this really pissed off people who sold alcohol to Native Americans. Right. Meanwhile the Strangites on Beaver Island were being torn apart by Strang's revelations particularly polygamy. But those who wanted to leave had no way to get off the island and no ideas what to do when they did get off. Yeah. Because they'd sold their farms. And yeah. I mean you have no you believed you were going to a promised land. Yeah. And so you don't have a second you don't have a plan B when you're going to

a fucking promised land. No if you're going into paradise why would you have a plan B. You don't go like and where's case scenario we go back to Michigan. Yeah we'll save a little nest egg in case. Just in case he's not the king and God didn't write those plates to him. Just in case. Just in case. I'll work in a paper. And things grew worse with the Gentiles. The Bennett family came back to their home from fishing one afternoon and were confronted by two Strangites demanding fishing tax money. Mr. Bennett asked to see the king

before he paid the tax. He was then shot seven times. So things are heating up. Yeah. No it doesn't seem very pious. When they heard about this on Mackinac Island they wanted justice and revenge. A sheriff from Mackinac Island was sent with a posse and 32 Native Americans. They came into the Mormon village around midnight and yelled some sort of Irish we're here to fuck up your shit war cry and the Strangites fled shoeless into the woods and the swamp.

The sheriff's men then plundered the village and took what they wanted. It it says a lot when you are uniting white authoritative figures and Native Americans in a cause. Oh yeah for sure. I mean you really are dealing with some real BS. You're a super asshole. But the women on the island were then in for something worse. What? Strang made a decree that for health reasons women should wear only loose fitting knee length bloomers as opposed to anything that quote pinches or compresses the body or limbs.

There was an uproar. Sorry. What what does he he wants them to wear bloomers and because it doesn't show their body. I don't know why they just didn't like it. He's just making them wear underpants. No bloomers aren't underpants they're I think they're like a big puffy pant. Oh I'm picturing like undergarment. So he's just making them wear hammer pants. Yeah I think so. I think that's what a bloomer is. Okay. Whatever it is it's crazy no matter what. Are you looking up bloomers? Well do you

want me to? Yeah I'm pretty sure a bloomer is just like a fat bloomers definition. It's a women's loose fitting knee length underpants. Now you're right. Yeah the what I'm picturing like it is it's like puffy like no no historical women and girls loose fitting trousers gathered at the knee or originally the ankle. Yeah. So so it's not underpants it's back then it's but it's still very loose trousers but it is not something a woman would like it would never a woman would never wear that out.

That's not what a woman would okay all right. Well I don't know if it's a good island wear. It's not good island wear but it's also not like low I mean it makes no sense I guess is the point. Unless unless he unless he did want them to wear underwear. Well Mormons do wear magic underwear. Yeah maybe he maybe in this in I couldn't find any more information about it but maybe in this case he was demanding that the women wear underwear. But it's not like lingerie it's like wear that puffy no it's a big puffy yeah yeah it's like puffy pirate underwear.

I mean let's let's hope for the sake of let's pretend for the sake of the story since we don't know one way or the other that he demanded a bunch of women wear underwear. I think that is what he demanded. So he said wear bloomers as opposed to anything that pinches or compresses the body or limbs so there's an uproar. Some wives refused to wear bloomers and Strang had their husbands flogged. Jesus. The bloomer issue was the final straw. By now so many wanted Strang dead that his followers begged him to use body guards

and he refused. Oh boy. Though many of the Gentiles had already left Beaver Island by now things got worse when Strang sent word that those remaining had to come to the harbor and be baptized into the church of Zion or leave the island in 10 days. That was it. They all fled. That's gonna be awkward when he's like so where are they are the. Oh we said what did we said for right we said for yeah we said for why aren't you in bloomers. Yeah that's a very good question. There were now

too many stories about Strang forcibly taking property and revenue on the island reaching the government and the non-Strangites from nearby communities were lashing out and attacking whenever possible. The USS Michigan was sent to the island to handle the tensions between the Strangites and the non-Strangites. The captain asked for Strang to join him. On June 16th 1856 as Strang walked down to the dock two disgruntled Mormons Alexander Wentworth and

Thomas Bedford walked up behind Strang and shot him in the back. All of this was done in the view of officers on the ship. No one yelled to warn him. Now I remember Bedford was a guy who got flogged for something yeah. But that is amazing that they're like keep trying. Yeah they're just like I'll check this out. Oh my god they have guns. Oh you want me to coke? Three bullets hit Strang. One graced his head. The other went into his cheek and the last into his spine.

He was paralyzed from the waist down. One of the men then walked up and brutally beat him with the pistol. The two shooters then calmly walked onto the ship and asked for a sanctuary. Hey can we come with you guys? Hey we're on your side yeah good. The shooters were taken to Mackinac Island and put in jail. They were there about a week. One night the door was unlocked and a man said to them ask no questions but hurry to the dock and go on board the steamboat that is there. They did and that was that. Wow.

Strang knew he was dying. He requested to be brought to his first wife's house. His first wife. Oh I liked her the best. Yeah welcome back. Oh now that I can't move I feel like I've made mistakes. You know I talked to God a little bit more. Stop with the God stuff. One of his apostles asked if he was going to name a successor. The king replied I do not want to talk about it. What a I mean this is a guy who has aligned to God and now he sounds like a 13-year-old. I don't know stop asking me about that.

No questions I pee-oed. He did that for several days. No. As he laid dying refused to pick a successor. No. He was then taken so he's in his first wife's home where this they keep asking him and then he died 11 days later. At this point there were around 2,600 followers on the island. Unbelievable. Right. Just how. Strang had told them many times that bullets could not pierce his skin and they believed it. Also a dumb thing to tell people. Yeah and also. I mean just for

fuck's sake you just be like well shoot him see what happens. I mean this is super awkward. Yeah. From a newspaper quote and now when they knew their king was killed and killed by a bullet they were paralyzed with sorrow. Many of them completely incapable of thinking or doing for themselves. They seemed like a people without a hope in the world. Many wrung their hands and wept with sad moaning saying our king is dead. Our king is dead. But on Mackinac Island a different atmosphere.

More like a party atmosphere. Yeah. Then the drunken hordes attacked Beaver Island as they saw this as the perfect time to rid the area of Strangites. Why why do they keep getting so drunk before they make these big moves? It's just a fucking party bro. Just go do make the move then have the party. Why? You know party then make the move. I don't know. Yeah you're off. I mean it's like a dream to have like an army of wasted people come up and be like wow we've got a couple of things to

decree your way. I don't feel so hot. I don't know if they're that drunk. I don't know if they're a cartoony drunk. Oh really? They could just be like an angry drunk guy. Like think about a fraternity attacking another fraternity. Yeah okay. So that's not great. Yeah well we all know how sober frat stay. Alright so they forcibly removed them. They robbed them. They beat them and then they dumped them on the docks. Then they were put on boats and the Strangites were

dropped off all around the edges of Lake Michigan in Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and Indiana in small groups so they couldn't find each other in regroup. They often had nothing but their clothes. They were complete total refugees without means. It worked. They were scattered all across the country. It is the best way to do. That is a fucking genius plan. That's the best way to do it. Whoever thought that up that's the winner. It's like when there's someone really evil and you cut them in like seven pieces and put each one of them on

a continent and bury it. You're like just so they don't form again. I feel like that's a weird analogy. Sure, sure. Have you done that? No but that happened in a movie I saw once I think. What movie? Huh? Air Bud? Mr. Smith goes to Washington. I think it was Air Bud. Some tried to keep the Church of Strang alive but it was difficult because he had refused to name a successor. Over those two weeks he was dying. Who? Who? Who is still clinging going like I think we were on to something.

Well the numbers do it a little quickly. Come on guys we were right there. We were just about to click. Later a man who had once been a leader of the Church said that Strang and Caleb Barnes, a former law partner of Strang's, had actually fabricated the Vori plates. They apparently made the plates out of an old tea kettle owned by Strang's brother-in-law and engraved them with an old saw file. After they put acid on them to crow them giving them an ancient appearance they bored a long slanting hole under a tree

and put the plates inside, tamping earth into the pole which left not a trace of their handiwork. I'm very shocked to hear that it was bullshit. Lorenzo Hickey, one of his apostles, stepped up as the leader until he died in 1897, but there was no true prophet as Strang's hadn't named one. Today they are divided into two groups. They both make claims to be rightful followers.

One was upset that the other one incorporated in the 60s. I'm Dave. What? You're talking about today? There are somewhere between 100 and 300 Strangites today. The date of King James Coronation, July 8th, is one of the two most important dates in the Strangite church here. That is so many people to still have. That is 100 to 300 too many. Do they have any? I've read interviews with them there.

It is the same. Again, I think your point earlier is accurate, which is that you should not really mincing words over which one of these groups is crazier because for the most part any very specific religion has to have a good amount of invention in it. Yeah, but what? Mormonism is really crazier than any other fucking religion. No, it really isn't ultimately, but it's really fucking crazy. Yeah, but they all are. They're all crazy.

I agree. I agree. Any religion where someone is telling you exactly what a man in the sky has said to do with life on earth is definitely a hint of bullshit. Yep, a little bit. Just a pinch. We're going to go through the Bible and read a lot of stuff that's like, that seems real. Well, come on now. Okay, sorry. Yeah, that book was written recently and still makes sense. Solid. Yeah, we came from a rib. Fuck. Come on, man. Someone buried a rib. Here we are. Anyway, that happened.

Wow, in the words of Yakov Shmirnov, America! Why the country? We're siding cars!