The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 151 - The Past Times with Jenny Tian

Episode Date: November 14, 2025

Dave Anthony reads a paper to co-host Gareth Reynolds and comedian Jenny Tian SOURCES OFFICIAL MERCH TOUR DATES

I can't wait to see Vancouver this time of year. The brisk refreshing air, autumn leaves scattered across Stanley Park. I'll get to hang out at Granville Island Public Market and try the local delicacy, candied smoked salmon, and best of all, I get to see a crowd of adoring fans at the Rio Theater. While daydreaming of fall travel, I realize my home could be working for me. I'm talking about hosting my home on Airbnb. Might as well, right? Otherwise, it will just be sitting empty while I'm gone.

While you're off living your best life, your home could be bringing in some extra cash. Whether you're off for a work trip or a family vacation, why not make the most of it? Hosting on Airbnb is smart and a practical way to help cover travel costs. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.c.a. slash host. All fucking out. All right. Shut up. Welcome to the podcast. It's called The Past Times. You know how it is.

Listen, each week we go through a newspaper from a random date. in history, picked out by none other than Dave Anthony. I, Gareth Reynolds, have never seen it, and neither has this week's guest, the great. Jenny Tien. Jenny, thank you for being here. Oh, thank you for having me. I'm so excited. Well, we also, you're touring Australia.

I live in New York now, right? I live in New York now. I just moved here. It's been, I've been here for a month, and a new mayor has just been elected, so maybe it has something to do with that. Yeah, it might have been you. Well, we like you are grieving this dark turn that. Cuomo was the solution.

What a great guy. Here we are. Amazing, amazing man. Touched me. An amazing man who recently admitted that his solved to the Me Too issues that emerged for him was to not be left alone with a woman again. And I just think, God bless him. God bless him to treat women like alcohol to an alcoholic. It's just normal leadership stuff.

But where are you going to be in Australia? Where can people get to your tour dates and all that stuff? So I'm doing all of the festivals next year. So basically I have shows at the Sydney Opera House, which is very excited. The first time I'm ever doing the Sydney Opera House. That's fucking great. I'll also do Sydney Comedy Festival, Melbourne Comedy Festival,

Adelaide Fringe, Perth Comedy Festival, Brisbane Comedy Festival. So the whole shebang, I'm doing it all. and then I will eventually add dates to the U.S. as well. Where can people go? What's the best way to go find that information? The link in my bio. There you go.

Link in the bio. You had a question. I will be hitting you with a follow-up question. There's still time to pull out of Adelaide, Prane. I was going to say, what does it feel like in the same tour to be doing the Sydney Opera House and then going to Adelaide? What is that? That must be hard.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I think it really tells me how my career is going at the most. moment. Which one, which one are you doing first? I'm, so I'm doing opera house first and then Adelaide Fringe. So I'm doing, boy. I'm doing the opera house in like the most regal, beautiful theater. I think I've ever played in my life. And then I'm going straight into a tent for two weeks, just with all the carnival happening, the Ferris wheels around. People think when you say a tent, you mean a tent in Adelaide at the festival. What people don't know who've never been there,

Adelaide is a tent. It's just one big tent and it's just a tented nightmare. Yeah. I saw a gigantic bat there. If you finish a show at 10, don't try to eat. Yeah. You won't find it's impossible. There's no, I don't know, Adelaide.

It closes early. It's an early city. Yeah. And literally my favorite or one of my least favorite, I should say, parts about doing shows there is. It's so funny. So you're in the tent, which has no sound briefing at all. all, by the way. There's literally, if you look at the tent, you can see the cracks of people on rides outside having fun. And you'll be telling your jokes and occasionally you'll hear like,

woo, wow. Is that for me? Is that my premise? Because they're just having so much more fun outside than inside the room. Best festival in the world. What can I say? That's so bad. You know what you should do? You should just record your opera house set and play it on a monitor on stage just to show that what a real show is like. I've never heard a comedian come out of the LA Fringe would be like, that was great. I have a really good time. That's good.

Yeah, I feel better about myself. Yeah, it's just like filling time in between the next festival. Well, Jenny, that's exciting. Good for you. We love going over there to every city except for one. But the bats are too big. Pardon? The bats and Adelaide are way too fucking large.

No, that was. They're like eagle-sized. It's really upsetting. They're quite big. But I feel like that's like an Australian thing in general. Like in Sydney as well, there's an outdoor cinema called Moodlight with bats that size. And because it's an outdoor cinema, what will happen is the bats will fly across in a huge swarm and then they'll shit all over you. And by the end of the movie, you're covered in bat shit.

And you're like, what have I just paid for? That sounds bad. Yeah, it's not good. It's obviously terrible. And I think that what this is. What you've done is basically affirmed the stereotypes of Australia. Like, people, when I tell people, because we go there, I don't know, we go there like every couple years at this point. And I'll people be like, what about the spider?

And I'm like, no, it's not like that. It's okay. And then you're just like, you go see a movie, you get guanoed. It's like you get COVID and rabies when you go to the Sydney. Well, Jenny, that's exciting. Thank you for joining us. We're going to go through an old newspaper. sounds boring it is boring but we'll try to have fun with it we'll do our best great introduction um

you as the guest normally would get to guess the year of the paper but dave and i just did one of these and he didn't even let me guess okay so it's it's it's well i'm not going to bore you with this nightmare part of the game but you can guess any year from like 1641 up until today it just So go ahead and guess, and if you get, there's no prize, but go ahead, and I'm going to guess too. Go ahead, Jenny. In a year. I'm going to go, oh, 1792. 1898.

You were just a little bit over, so you lose. It is 1891. What the fuck, dude. So, yeah, Price is right rules. No. Yeah, I mean, that's what we set up beforehand. We said Price is right rules today. Whatever.

Congratulations, Jenny. Yes. Way to go. Yay. Yay. Yay. Again, Jenny, I want, I know you're celebrating. I want to point out, he caters the rules to make sure I lose every time.

It's not true. Yes, it is. It's like a weird. Now you're making stuff up. I don't, okay, it's October 24th, 1891. Now, I don't want to read this. What is that? It's an alternative title for America.

Go ahead, read that title. A fat man's association. No, no, no. The head, the name of the paper. Good. The Kootenay Herald. Kootenay. K-O-O-T-N-A-I. K-O-O-T-N-A-I. Kootenai.

I would think Kootenai, but it's also America, so it could be really anything. It is America. No, the T and the Ann are silent. It's Kuna-ha. Anyway. I did spoil the first article, but it's just such a great headline. Yeah, first headline. A Fat Man's Association.

Finally. I've considered doing a dollup on Fat Man's Association. What? This was a huge thing at this time. What? Just fat guys would get together. And they were all over the country, Fat Men's Associations. Wow.

So like a club. Like a club. Yeah. And they were just big boys. And they're like, hey, you want to get to be the other big boys? Yeah. I bet you had to be a certain way. Yeah.

Real bad. Everything's a needle. But back then, fat guys were like, what now is like normal? Like, fat guys weren't fat guys. Yeah, yeah, right. No. They were like, oh, he's a whopping two ten. A Texas.

has a fat man's association. Texas is a fat man's association. Yeah, absolutely. Texas has a fat man's association, the initiation fee of which is a cent a pound. A cent a pound? Oh, you got paid. It's like there was a restaurant when I was a kid.

You've probably never heard of this restaurant. I don't know if you've ever. It was called the ground round. I've heard of the ground, right? And you'd pay what you'd weigh. So you'd get on a scale. And when you were a kid, if you were like under 10,

you'd pay what you'd weigh. So you'd like, you'd get. on the scale and if you weighed like whatever they would charge you like 50 pounds yeah you're paying 50 cents yes but the parents are like two what say 200 pounds well you wouldn't do it for the parents oh you wouldn't do for the parents no it's kids only oh yeah it was kids only but but so this is charging you a cent a pound that is that the most american thing you've heard yet i i i've never heard of that in my life i'm a bit like wouldn't you just like Here's what, like, we would do, like my parents would do, is like, you know, whatever age you actually are, even when you're 16, your parents would try to be like, yeah, they're under 10.

Yeah, let's try and get them into the restaurant for free. Yeah. There's that, but I've never heard of, like, weighing for anything. They had a big scale. Yeah. That's really crazy. Yeah. And it was a big scale.

And then you could eat whatever you wanted? I think so. I'm pretty sure. I don't remember. I was real little, but I just remember getting on a. scale and be like let's go i mean the kids would love that right it was awesome imagine if you confused your memories and that was actually just you at a doctor's office checking your white i was horribly ill your parents your parents used to say that to you to make you feel

better right great yeah and now you can eat whatever you want i'm looking up how the why don't you keep reading i'm going to okay uh men who weigh less than 225 pounds are ineligible for membership. Okay. It was a, it applies to kids' meals on Tuesday only. Oh. So my parents would take me there. Oh, with the purchase of an adult entree.

So yeah, my parents would take me there on Tuesdays. So you see, not just bringing in the kid to eat and leaving. No. Which is what? He had to be under 12. Yeah. Which is what my parents would have done. Yeah.

Oh, it was definitely my, I thought it was every night because every time we went there, it must have been a Tuesday. I had no concept of what day it was. My dad would have been like, what kind of gin and tonic does he get for... Can you drink what you puke? Next headline. That's it. That's all there's that story.

It's a good one. Everything into cheese. I swear to God it's like he's reading my childhood. What is it? Gareth's from Wisconsin, which is our cheese state. Everything into cheese. Oh, okay. That's a cheese state.

Oh, my goodness. I mean, they really like that. their cheese there. Jenny, you know what? First of all. Like you trade it like French people? Like you keep them in barrels underground or are you talking like liquid cheese? I mean, it's pretty close to that.

Well. Have you heard of cheese curds? No. That is the correct face. That is the correct face. So. A cheese curd is the youngest cheese. Thank you.

And it comes from, it just comes out of the milk, right? Like it's like straight from the milk. Yeah. But it's cheese. You know, listen, we're, here's a. Here's our pitch. Why is it got to take so freaking long? Let's go with the cheese already.

So when it starts to curd, you just yank it out. You get kind of little cheesy fingers. And then they sell it in a bag and you just drive down the road. And the bag's wet. Eating your cheese with your fingers. Yeah. And the bag's wet. And they're little guys, little pieces of cheese.

Jenny, you know what? Jenny, that is the correct face. Jenny, you make that face. These are my people. They're bad people. They're great people. I'm trying not to be offensive right now. All that sounds absolutely delicious.

Yes. USA, you make crazy. You, let's do it. You. Come on, everybody. F you. Hey, what's your way? Pay what?

Come on, everybody. Gareth is a Green Bay Packers football fan, and they are the cheese heads, and sometimes they wear a cheese triangle. The fans will put a cheese triangle. On their head is a hat. Well, I'll do you one better, Jenny. this is no fucking joke.

Oh, here we go. There was a plane crash maybe 20 years ago and the only survivor was a guy... Don't worry. Oh, okay, no mind. Sorry, go ahead. Blah, blah, blah.

Zoran Mamdani. But there was a guy the only survivor of a plane crash was the guy who put a cheese who put a cheesehead in front of it. That can't be true. It's true. I don't normally Google.

I'm not normally the show's Jamie on Joe Rogan. This sounds like one of your AI stories. Yeah, well, this was, okay. All right, keep reading. I'll come back with my update. I guess it would be a good cushion to protect you from stuff coming from above. Yeah. But I doubt he lived because he had the cheese head on.

Yeah, like how amazing is this cheese device? Like, if it's like a helmet, okay, I could imagine that. But it's, a cheese is notoriously soft. But it's not a real, okay, all right, here we go. It's terrifying. When Frank Emmett Jr. of Superior Wisconsin realized the light airplane, he was about to crash on Sunday. It was just him, but it wasn't a good. commercial flight. He grabs something to protect himself, a cheesehead. The 36-year-old Green Bay Packer

fan isn't recommending the heavy foam wedge shape for Wisconsin's fanatics for every emergency, but he said it saved his face and arms, if not his life. So there you go. He shattered his right ankle. And here's the quote, and then we'll get back to the regular part of the show. I understand the quote, there were tons of cheeseheads there, he said, referring to the nickname given of the Wisconsin sports fans and he decided to wear it as a hat yeah here Dave's going to show you Jenny what we're dealing with here and he wore that and he wore that and he survived so there you go oh my goodness what can't it do yeah that is I'm not going to lie when you said like triangle I thought you met like a Dorado head but that's actually like that's huge that's commitment we'll send we'll get one to you

no problem don't even worry about I would love one I'll wear it for my next flight yeah yeah where it's It would probably work in Australia. Everybody in Australia right now is like, what the fuck? And everybody in America is like, yeah, cheesehead. No. Yeah. It's fine. Anyway, all right.

Anyway, so yeah, pay what you weigh. We wear cheese. We're fine. Fine childhood. Travelers in the land of sunny skies are authority for the statement that there is nothing in the shape of milk that the Italian peasant won't convert into cheese if he is given half a chance. Wow.

So you're like the, you're like the Italians of America. That's a compliment. Yeah. Every known animal is subject to his tax for this purpose, and it is said that a Genoese sailor, who was once cast away on a South Sea island, went insane from disappointment when, after months of experimenting, he discovered that the milk of the coconut had no cheese in it. Oh, we're still talking about cheese.

Wow. I'm right at home. And I will say it is tough. For those of us who have heard of coconut milk, why is there no cheese? It's not milk. Go ahead. No, I agree. Coconut milk is not milk.

It's just water inside of a coconut. Yeah, exactly. Exactly, sir. And it's not any more nutritious or has no nutritional value over any other water. But would you go into? You hear that, Jenny? He's doing a lot of coconut shame in there. Go ahead. Would you go insane if you were on a cheeseless island? No, I'm not like, I can live without cheese. I have lived without cheese.

But if I was on a desert island and I found cheese, you better believe I'd be like, this place fucking kicks ass. I don't think I would want to be on an island without cheese if I'm being honest. I agree. I love cheese. I think I could live without cheese. Yeah, I fucking love cheese. You two, spoiled millennials. That's what you are. The parious. The food of our generation, yeah.

Yeah. But it's so good. Like, think about how versatile it is. Like, it's on pizza. You can have toasted cheese. Like, everything is better with a little bit of cheese. You just name the same style of cheese. No, you can put on a sandwich.

You can just eat it straight cheese with crackers. What are you, what's it called the pasty? What the hell is it called the chicken toasty? The toasty. Oh, yeah. Oh, those are delicious. You love those things. We love the toasties.

Yeah. It can be in a pie. Yeah. It can be in coffee, as we just saw the other day. Jenny, we're people in America are putting cheese in their coffee. It's really upsetting. Wait, that's a real thing. I thought you were joking.

Yeah. No. No, a woman, yeah. And then a guy that helps us with a lot of the stuff we do on tour, he did it. And he liked it. really. He liked it. Jenny, he dipped chips into the coffee cheese and he ate it like that, like a French onion. It's just, you put it in hot coffee, so it's just like, you know, it's gooey, it's gooey, melted cheese. It's not okay. No, it's bad. I'm saying it's okay.

But we're trying everything. Yeah, but I'm like, you know what? If people are liking it, I got to try it before I completely shame them for their decisions, you know? Will you try it? I think I would try it Because, you know, there's some, like, if you go to, like, a bubble tea shop, there's, like, the tea, and then they have cheese foam on top, which initially I judged. And I went, those people are disgusting. Why would you ever have cheese on it? And then I tried it, and I went, oh, no, this is, this is really good. I take all of my words back. So, you know, you can't look until you try it.

I would love for you to try it. The Australians are the snobiest coffee people. I mean, it's really tremendous. Dave's about to dig up. It's like Italian-level snobbing issue. about coffee yeah yeah like literally all all my friends here are like there's no good coffee here in america not a single city has good coffee yeah which is crazy because there are you get a small roasters hey luke we're on the past times right now our guest jennie tn's here she's thinking of trying

the cheese coffee on a scale of one to ten what would you recommend i like do you love it i would in terms of trying it i'd right give it a 10 wow there's no downside to knowing okay but do you have a recommendation on the kind of of cheese? I just not cream cheese because it doesn't melt, which apparently Do you have a recommendation on which cheese?

I would pick like a kind of a gooey cheese that's going to really melt in the thing. You want it like French onion soup consistency. So just don't do like a super hard cheese. Don't do a different form cheese, like a cream cheese. Jenny, this is a history show. A semi-sauce cheese.

Okay. Semy-suff. The Goudre. This is the start of the coffee cheese All right, we got to go. We got to go, buddy. We're out of here. You don't want to get him talking too much. But I would think if you went, if you went to Sydney and we're like going to a Sydney

coffee shop where people love their coffee and order a coffee and then just take cheese out of your bag and drop it in, what do you think people would do? Well, just wear a MAGA hat. It would be odd. But you know, you know what I've noticed since being here is that like Australian cafes are such a big brand in America, like Australian restaurants or coffee. Whereas in Australia, we have like American diners where they'll serve like black American coffee. They'll pour it out of a job. So you know what? If you took out some cheese and you put it in there, I don't think

anyone would bat an eye. Yeah. I could see it working over there. I really could. I took Jenny to a diner in Studio City in North Hollywood and she couldn't believe the menu. Really? She's like, what? She goes, I don't understand. It has every. So much. We are nightmares. No, we are nightmares. So much variety. And then I went to another diner that was like one of those 24-hour diners as well. And I thought that, you know, in Australia, they would have a very limited menu for that time slot. They still had everything. I was like, oh my God, this is amazing. This place is so great. The best thing about America is, and it's my favorite thing, breakfast all day. It's just. You can get breakfast. I'll give you two things. Our food culture is an absolute disaster nightmare.

Yeah. However, you can get it all. And also, air conditioning. We just... Yeah, we love it. We did good with air conditioning. That's it. Everything else is built on the world of genocide.

Everything else is not going well. Denial, a collapse, and just total calamity. And it's all coming for us. We're staring down the barrel of a self-made shotgun. But I'll tell you what. you want waffles at 4 p.m. It's not going to be an issue. Yeah.

I love it. I love it. You can have eggs anyway, anytime. It's so good. Any way, anytime. That's right. Uh-huh. Yeah.

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network as well as you get to keep phone number and your phone. Yes, that's exactly what I'm talking about. You could be saving money with Mint Mobile because I just lick my phone. I just lick my phone. How did it taste? Not like mint at all. I might be wrong about the phone.

Tasted like a hand. Maybe lick it again just to be sure. I'll do the front. Look, it's, it's present giving time. It's present giving time. Don't give people socks. Don't give them a picture of your feet. Mint Mobile plans,

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If you, but three times is when it happens because it's like candy man. Back or front. Candyman. Or under part. And I. think you're going to have to stop with the candy man references soon do you hear me you are at three in a week look the it's a limited time off tastes bad it tastes like hand it all tastes like

hand well i don't know maybe i was wrong so maybe the whole thing is it's just that you get great phone service and it's cheap i think that's what it is yeah i think i think it's like a mint deal that's the thing so look this is a limited time offer upfront payment of 45 dollars for three months $90 for six months or $180 for 12 months plan required $15 a month equivalent taxes and fees extra initial term only

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Yeah, I'm sharing my undies with several people at this point. You're not listening to what I'm saying. Me and my wife, I got a pair for me and you, me and your mom. I got a pair for my sons. This is a little bit of a strange way, but I bought a match. matching unis for for for me and my son's baseball coach so i think it's going to be a really weird but fun christmas i'm going to want you to it's all about matching let's talk off ad about that the thinking behind that little that we should dig into that you can get matching undies uh for your

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off. I can't wait to see Vancouver this time of year. The brisk refreshing air, autumn leaves scattered across Stanley Park. I'll get to hang out at Granville Island public market and try the local delicacy, candied smoked salmon. And best of all, I get to see a crowd of adoring fans at the Rio Theater. While daydreaming of fall travel, I realized my home could be working for me. I'm talking about hosting my home on Airbnb. Might as well, right?

Otherwise, it will just be sitting empty while I'm gone. While you're off living your best life, your home could be bringing in some extra cash. Whether you're off for a work trip or a family vacation, why not make the most of it? Hosting on Airbnb is smart and a practical way to help cover travel costs. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. Take that, coach. Me and you.

What's your deal? Now you're coming at him? It's going to be a little aggressive with the best country on earth. Thank you. By the way, I told you, Jenny. Keep carrying your papers. Dakota's editors complaint. We greatly dislike to find fault with any of the customs of our

beautiful little city, says a Dakota editor. But I wonder which Dakota city this is. But they're all small. But we must nevertheless insist that people keep their swine out from under the office of this paper. Okay, well, this took a turn. Literal swine? Yeah, we're talking about pigs. Pigs?

Yeah, they're saying they're saying, please stop the pigs from going under our building. That's just a terrible. Sometimes you got to make it, you got to put it in the paper. What situation is not made better by a bunch of pigs? I agree. Well... They're the best. Yeah, pigs are pretty great.

The best. They're the best. Imagine taking a pig to work. Yeah. I love that. Jenny, don't. I just... I would love to have a little house pig.

Oh, buddy, I'll move in whenever. No, that's not... Yeah. What I was asking. Gladly. You want me to be a little house pig? Yeah, I'll be him. No, it's not what I'm talking about.

We already have a van pig. Yeah, we just called him. It's a strange diet. Yeah, like most pigs, he's just combining food groups. While engaged at our desk writing our leader on the stability of our territorial institutions for our paper this week, one of Senator McBride's razor-backed hogs jumped, sorry, humped. up its spine and began scratching its back on the beams under the floor, jarring the whole building and making it necessary. Well, then you don't have a, you're not a building.

If a pig backscratching shakes your building, you are a shanty. You're a shack, sir. You ain't a building. Why is there space for pigs to go under your office? Listen, there's just, nature's, nature's finding a way. as it should. It's like an opposite story to the three little pigs where instead of the wolf taking down a house,

it's just a pig going, let's get in there. Like the wolf's like, I don't even think I need to get over there. I don't even think I need to get involved. I didn't do anything. This is fine. Jarring the whole building

and making it necessary for us to stop by work on the editorial, crawl under our office, and welt the critter along the side with a column rule. Don't love it. This interrupted our train of thought, and the editorial is not what we could wish. Excuse me.

This man is saying that the animal abuse made him lose his momentum. That's right. Sometimes a pig will make you fuck up your train of thought and just ruin your editorial writing. You know, here's the superhero I want, I want animal abuser man or woman. I mean, the name is terrible. Anytime there's animal abuse I want a superhero beats the person who abused the animal

So what's the name of the guy? It's not animal Anti-animal abuse man Yeah you said that And I went oh that's a bad guy That's an evil guy No no no no sorry I'm not pitching him right He's abused

There needs to be a superhero to take down the animals No no no You're like this guy's a real fucking weirdo Hey, what you wait? We need a guy who's killing the animals more. Let's get Mr. Pig Hater in here. How are you? I'm going to beat this swine.

Excuse me, who called him? Just a guy in a cape with a paddle. Jesus Christ, this guy sucks. Is there a robbery? I'm going to hit this dog. Sir! Feels like it couldn't hurt. I need a name.

You want him named? I will name him revenge beater. Okay. It's not specific to animals, though. Like, it's got to be, it's got to be animal, it's got to be an animal name. Animal revenge beater. That's just not good. Rab.

Oh, no, animal, arb. Pigman. I mean, it's closer, but now I'm thinking a guy that has, like, as we're going to get this episode. That's like an actual, back to the iPad. He has a snout. He looks for treffles. That's all I'm, that's all envisioning now. Sounds like a fucking winner to me.

Pig lover? Nope. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Why is he here? Don't mind me. Lightning struck me

And now I have an insatiable cure for pig sex Christ I can't help it I can go please what do you want me to do He's not angry Okay this This next story is really long Yeah it looks crazy

But the title is spectacular A victim of cocaine In there Yeah gives his experience with the fascinating drug, nursed back to health. Oh, this is the era where cocaine was used for, yeah. Health purposes.

Health purposes. Let's get back there. Yeah, we had a whole, this particular of the 1890s was like, that was the cocaine time. Oh, what a time. Dr. Charles Bradley's name first came into undesirable prominence in November, 1885, when he was arrested,

charged with being insane through excessive, indulgence in morphine and cocaine. Well, he's having a good time. Let him cook. Yeah, I'm like... Yeah, it sounds like a very similar headline to today, actually. Something's never changed.

Just having a party. Yeah. Can a guy have a good time? Yes. He was taken before Judge Pentegrast, was declared to be insane and given a sentence of three months in the Washingtonian house. Oh, you're insane for three months. Yeah.

That's basically what they're saying. It doesn't make any sense. And then he's queued, boom. Yeah, yeah. Sounds like a great psychiatric ward. All right, get out of here. You're fine now. I'm still hearing the voices.

Get out of here. We need the bed. After a fortnight stay at the house of Dr. Bradley, went to Canada, his old home, where he gave himself up entirely to the demands of the drug, the fascinations of which completely enthralled him. He was into it.

It's cocaine. This is the, this is cocaine. Yeah, it's doing, it's just doing it. Sorry, everybody. This is the deal. He was enthralled? What? Yeah, what?

He was telling stories? What? From a drug? Smoking cigarettes? Huh? Practice and home were gone, and he gave free reign to his vice. He returned to Chicago and sent, and was sent to the insane asylum where a complete cure was affected, and he resumed his practice, only to find himself deserted by his

clients and his reputation impaired. Well, yeah, he was on. Yeah. I mean, yeah, that's what happens when you do tons of cocaine. All right, cool. So, yeah, you're good to go. Yeah. Hey, what do you think about?

Just starts chatting to that. You ever thought about this? Like, what about a bike, but you don't need to use your feet, just your hands? Do you think that would work? The physician went to the gutter and a year ago was begging for cocaine at drugstores or securing it by fictitious orders on drugists. Can you speak? Bear some cocaine. So he's now using false prescriptions.

Yeah. So he's gone through all the... Just the idea that you could go to a pharmacy and get cocaine. Let's get back there. It is time. I mean, if you're at the guy's like, I'm going to write you actually the generic cocaine. Yeah, okay. I guess I can do that.

It's a big party, but yeah. Can't get that premium stuff too pricey. No. Yeah. Well, the insurance company won't cover. the premiums. Oh, my God. Generic.

Imagine. Shit, man. I can't get my cocaine this month. Then he disappeared. He was occasionally heard from in Canada and the east until last fall when the newspapers recorded his arrest in New York City for endeavoring to obtain a supply of cocaine by representing himself as a messenger sent from one physician to another. Hello.

Hey, I'm the Coke boy. I'm the, yeah, I'm in between cocaine. I'm the mule. I take the cocaine from one guy to another. I'll get it over to him. Don't worry. You don't need to seal the bag. That's fine.

I'll do that in the war. In the police report, the gaunt emaciated ragged man told his story of want and woe and the causes which brought them about. At that time, he was using six grams of, six grains of cocaine a day.

Six grains. What's a grain? What is? It might be a rock. I just, maybe. I don't know the measurement. A grain, yeah. He was, like a tiny little size.

Yeah, it's got to be like a pill-sized thing, right? Let's see. Keep going. He was sent to Bellevue to die. Okay. You're dying here. Okay, dokey. So I'm going to check you in the hospital to die.

What? Ready? And this is where you'll die, obviously. There he was found by the manager of the Christian home, where he was nursed back to mental and physical vigor. Dr. Bradley was reluctant to dwell on the episode. thus briefly given, but conversed freely on the other circumstances of his life. Quote, until 1885, there was nothing to dim my prospects. It was in that year that cocaine was first brought to notice through a German physician,

but it was only known as a practical anesthetic in operation by a col. Occult? I can't read that. I think it says a cult. No, a col? I don't know what that word is. there was no method known for using it for other purposes. I was the first man to discover that it could be otherwise used.

No, you weren't. So a grain is 64 milligrams, which results too well under an ounce. So I don't know. It must not have been a lot. You're like a five ounce? How much is a gram? I don't think I brought. How much is a gram in ounces?

Oh, you fucking ask. Because we always, in America, we always sold our cocaine in the metric system, but then we do everything else by... So it's 0.001 grams. That is not a lot. Wow, that's tiny. This guy was hooked on so little. I know. It's like, if you're going to do it.

Who has that ability to be the cope has been bad? Yeah, yeah. Or really good. Or real good. Oh, man, that'd be fun. Uh, I was the first man to discover it. In fact, to take place of ether or chloroform. Oh, so he's saying he was the first guy to find that it could be used instead of ether or chloroform.

Jesus, what a time. What did they use chloroform for before what we know it for, which is just to knock out someone in an alley if you need them to not die? I think they would like sniff it and get high. Oh, that's pretty good. But you'd just pass out. You're just like, I bet she could go out on the street and buy it. What neighborhood are you in? I mean, Greenpoint.

Oh, great. Oh, you could go out on the street and find some chloro for him. Well, now that Momdani's in, I mean, it's all over. It's just like, people don't understand. There are going to be grocery stores that it's not really expensive. That aren't expensive for poor people. It's just disgusting what he's doing. It's terrible.

What? It's fixing the cost of living. It's horrible. What an asshole. Cuomo would have grabbed women. And I don't think people understood. Greenpoint's a good neighborhood. You picked right.

Yeah, it is a good spot. That discovery, so important to the world, that most unfortunate for me, when I announced my discovery, physicians laughed and declared I was crazy. I wrote a letter to Mayor Harrison asking him to appoint a medical commission to inquire into the value of my discovery.

So he wrote the mayor, and he's like, hey, man, I found a cocaine. pretty awesome. So the mayor's like, cool, that's great. So I want to set up like a group where I just do it. So how long were we doing cocaine like in this way? A while. I mean, it went on, it went on for a couple decades. We were just like, it's really helpful. But I feel like. And then eventually people are like, we can't do. This is crazy. But I just doesn't, the timing's weird because I think he's just full of shit. Like, I think people were doing it before. I still can't get over

Oh sorry I said I still can't get over the fact that he wrote a letter to the mayor oh my goodness I imagine writing to anyone now like look at my discovery of the person in the government must know about this and his properties Okay Mr. Mayor

I got some fucking news dude Holy fucking shit dude There's this stuff I literally just snort it I know it sounds weird because you probably used to injecting shit No more, Mr. Mayor. I'm thinking I'm thinking I go on like a commission. You imagine trying to lick an envelope with Coke mouth?

It's like, I got to use water. It's crazy. I got no saliva in here. So asking the mayor to appoint a medical commission to inquire into the value of my discovery, which was then the administration of cocaine hypodermically. Hypodermically? So injecting Coke? Yeah, right?

I first utilized my discovery. Oh, you're going to love this. I first utilized my discovery by testing it on a cat. Oh, my goodness. I wonder what the cat did afterwards. I just... How do you think... Chetty, where do we land on this?

How do you think your cat, Jose, would be on cocaine? Not fucking good, dude. This morning, he was going bonkers. Yeah. Well, maybe don't even them out. I don't... Yeah, that's like, good pitch. Part of me thinks.

we should know the answer to what a cat is like on cocaine, but also the other part of me is like, I'm the guy who just pitched that we need a superhero to stop animal abuse. Yeah. I don't know. Jenny, thoughts? Yeah. I think, you know, um, when cats are, do you guys say zoomies here? My cat's got zoomies?

Yeah. I reckon, I reckon that times 10. I reckon it'll just be moving so quickly around the room. It's a blur. That's what I think. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, you're not going to like this part.

Hmm. I dissected a leg of the cat. Oh, my God. What's that going to do with anything? Why did he do that for the experiment? Sometimes she's got to cut a cat on. Jenny, I just want to point out how I'm exactly right the question you just asked us. It's weird.

It's very much a cocaine thought. Why? What's going on? No. Well, I cut open the cat's leg. Do you know what a regular cat's leg looks like? No. So, Mayor, I wanted to show you.

I've been really working hard. Oh, you're the Coke letter guy. Yeah. The envelope wasn't sealed when you said it over here. So I opened the cat up. Sorry? I opened the cat up. Why?

Just to like, yeah, look at the bones and the whatever's going on. Because of the cocaine? And, you know, it's... What did it look like? What? Huh? Which thing? Which is the cat alive?

Yeah, it's alive, but it's open now. What the leg is? The leg's still on the cat? I just need a little bit more just to, you know, figure this out. You give me two more bumps. I can get that cat's leg back to normal by tomorrow. need a couple grains Exposing tissues and muscle

And kept the animal on my desk for hours Watching the circulation So he dissected a live cat's leg Jeffrey Dahmer's shit Yeah And then he just watched the blood go through it The cat's like, I fucking trusted you Yeah

There was no pain There was no pain I do you know there's no pain Trust me the cat was into it The jug exercising a soothing effect. Are you talking about for you or the cat? Me. The cat's dead.

Next, I began experimenting on myself. Well, that I like better. So I cut my own leg open. And then I put the cat's leg inside of my leg and very little changed. I found that the anesthetic influence of cocaine is limited. Turns out it hurt. Turns out it wasn't a good idea to cut my leg open. Turns out the cat was not okay that whole time, actually.

So I guess the cat was just super chill because it fucking hurt like shit. I experimented on myself again and again to see just how far. Is this to the mayor? I don't know if this is to the mayor. I was thinking that as well. I'm like, is he still reporting all of this to the mayor? This is so much intricate detail of I failed. Yeah.

So then I kept experimenting, the mayor's like, buddy, you are a co-cat. Uh, to see just how far this limited, this, this limit extended and learned just where and when and how to give injections. I'm like a man of fucking science. So, uh, I don't know. Physicians then believe that the effect of the drug were similar to those of morphine. To disprove this, I tried actual, uh, cottery by applying it to my body red hot irons. What? Oh, my God.

So he's burning himself. Sure. But I felt no pain. He's doing cocaine and burning himself. Hey, buddy, so we're going to cut you off, you know what I mean? Why? It seems like the experiments are getting really weird. I'm just getting warmed up.

I'm going to take my eye out. Watch me do this line and fall in fire. For three, wait, oh no. I felt no pain. and there was not the slightest sensation as the flesh withered under the heated irons. For three months, every... Dear mayor!

For three months, every day for a half an hour, I experimented with the drug and often passed several hours of the night in its study before a mirror watching its effects on myself. Wow. So he's doing blow and staring at himself in a mirror. Wow.

Wow. This is... This is how you do it. This is how you do drugs. Now we know to do cocaine off the mirror. But I never realized that it was obtaining a mastery over me. It's fascinating. Wow, that happened a long time ago, my friend.

It was weird. All of a sudden I started to think, maybe I'm doing a little too much. It's fascinating powers were unknown to the profession. I was thunderstruck when I found. found that the drug was absolutely necessary to my mind and body. I believe I could have conquered the habit then, were it not for a misunderstanding with the man from whom I rented my home. Wait, what?

He's saying he's now addicted and he could have overcome the addiction, but there was a misunderstanding. Some guy was like, hey, I saw you cut open a cat's like, you need to get the fuck out of here. He's like, no, it's not what it looks like. It was very important. I was running to the mayor. No, no, no, this is all an experiment. The mayor has asked me to do this.

I did not. Okay. Let's all just settle down. We're all getting somewhere medically. The cat's dead. Look, it's all, by the way, if I could just get like a couple more weeks on the rent, like, you know, I'm not, I don't have it yet. I didn't realize that you didn't want me looking in the mirror naked, coked up after I cut open a cat's leg on. It's like, you tell me, I'm listening.

That should be in the lease. Yeah. I didn't know. This is all new to us. He wanted his house, and when I refused to vacate it, my weakness was made a point by which I was dragged into an insane court. He's a crazy, he's a full-on addict. And the guy's like, you've got to move out, man. You're not paying rent.

No. Can I pay you in cat legs? How about, no. I'm going to stay here. persecution and publicity drove me to desperate extremes at the Washington home no one knew how to treat my disease everybody knows the rest how I went to the gutter and lost everything with all your experience with cocaine how do you now regard it asked the reporter it was fucking awesome awesome it was so cool it was the best thing ever worst thing I did was write a letter to the fucking mayor made me feel real weird And if I'd just close those blinds, I'd still have that apartment. I think it is a grand drug with remarkable properties and destined to take the place of ether and chloroform. It can be used without danger of death.

It produces no nausea or prostration. It is a great specific for nervous diseases, for certain diseases of the spine, for paralysis, for tetanitis, for hydrophobia, and other convulsions. How dare you say cocaine cures puralic? It's insane. I've seen paralyzed men jog after a bump. It will unite with other anti-spasmodics and intensify their action. I think I know more about cocaine than most men, but I have no comprehensive ideas of its possibilities. Scientists are the only, are only in the experimental stage with it. He's like, and I am a scientist.

And I do the experiments. I'm ready. I tried every single experiment. It's just in a lab with a bunch of equipment, just like doing it off his hand, like, cool. We love it. Men in STEM. Fantastic.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Man in STEM. Well, that was good. That was worth the, you're right. It was long, but that's how you do it. A foot race for a bride.

Oh, I think that means she's not into it. This is how it works here. You challenge a guy to a race, and if you win, you get to marry the lady. That would not surprise me if that's how it worked. Yeah. All right, if you want a hand, beat her in a race. A novel foot race took place at Chattanooga, the prize being nothing less than the hand of a mountain maid, Polly Andrews. What do you think about Mountain Maid?

Well, let's see what Pornhub thinks of a mountain maid. I wonder if he typed him out and made into porn home. I'm not going to find out. The last time I went on porn home. Yeah, the last time I went on porn home, I was like, I'm going to have a seizure. What is happening?

It's like, buddy. Gotten pretty weird. Yeah, it's like, you can't like tease me a little bit. It's Christ. It's just like, I don't need the whole menu. I want to earn it. I hear you. Tom Mitchell.

When I was a boy, men left magazines in forests. They did. Tom Mitchell and John Van Liette sued for her favor and she was unable to decide between them. They, being in earnest, proposed a duel to which the girl demurred, realizing that if one were killed and the other a fugitive, she would lose both. As the crucial test. Do you understand why men should not be in charge of society? Like, simply listen to what was pitched And then she was like

Or you could race each other Oh, okay, yeah, I guess that's pretty good too We plan on killing each other Well, then one of you would go to jail Right, right, right. Oh, just jog for me. Okay. As the crucial test, she decided upon a foot race

From the Tennessee River to Fairmount on the summit of Walden's Ridge, a matter of 10 miles. Well, that's fucking much of it a steep climb. Well, this is actually a nightmare. I like this. You do? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, this is, look, you got an issue with mountain-made logic, my guy. Jenny, how would you pick your spouse? Would this be the way? You know what? I reckon it's still better than Hinge right now, you know? 100. Okay.

100. Okay. You know, the song, I will walk 100 miles? You know, this is not 100. It's 10, which is pretty close. It's a lot. I have even worse news for you, Jenny. It is 500 miles, the proclaimers are talking about it.

Oh, you're so right. See, okay, so 500. There we go. So that's a pretty far distance. Them doing 10 miles, at least they're doing something, you know? Yeah. I think with today's, you know, you know, hinge and apps and whatever where you do like such minimal effort, I would prefer someone.

climbing some kind of mountain and me being like the maid at the very top, that feels more romantic to me than swiping. I'm for it. How great would it be if you got to the top of the mountain and it's just like a nerdy teenager? He's like, I made up that I was a mountain maid. What? Sorry, I was just fucking around a line and then I started to develop weird feelings for you. Do I do cocaine with my cat?

Jesus Christ. The other guy's behind. Oh, man, she got her fur. What? she's not even real dude I'm Terry what how are you

I'd still like to pursue something imagine if the mountain maid just didn't like that person and then they just pushed every guy that they didn't like off that mountain perfect there's just a pile of bodies feels like it's been 10 miles the men started at 2 p.m.

and at 510 Van Liet reached the goal a country post office his rival came in a bad second to 15 minutes later. The beaten man accepted the situation and Ms. Polly accepted the winner. Wow. Okay.

Crazy. I mean. Crazy to be that torn. Like to have no opinion to the point where like whoever gets to the top of the mountain first. Right? It's like the pay what you weigh of marriages. I mean, if you like both guys

and maybe you're just like, well, the one that could get here first would be in better shape. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. People are obsess. with marathons now. You know, they want to win them. We think highly of them for some reason. So maybe that's the old marathon back in the day.

Might be. Yeah, it could be. I feel like we should go on hinge. I think we should go on hinge and make fake profiles that say, like, if you run 10 miles up this mountain, I will, I will. I got bad news for you, man. Most every guy's going to be like, well, fuck that. That's what I'm saying.

They're already like assholes. Yeah. Yeah. No one would do that nowadays. If someone gets to the top of the mountain, they're like, I'm in very much. vested in this whereas like if they show up now they're like uh yeah all right probably should get going yeah they're like yeah so we're splitting the bill on this one right yeah yeah okay see you've had a little bit more so yeah yeah so we've got to do it evenly

you had some dessert yeah i mean like for being fair like equality is so important to be that's why i won't hold the door open for a woman and insist on splitting every tab yeah yeah she's her own person she could do it herself yeah She's like, got it. I love that about women, though. Yeah. Hair grew after death. Oh, fucking.

It does. It does. Mine does. What? It's still growing. Hair braids 10 feet long found in a coffin 20 years buried. 10 feet. A prominent citizen of Warren Summit to New Hampshire recently caused the body of his mother

to be disinterred for the purpose of bearing it in another spot. when it was found that the coffin was completely enwrapped with the strains of the lady's hair. Wow. So she like... That is really awful. Yeah. That is horrifying.

That is horrifying. That's scary. You like exhum a body. To a corpse. Because you have to also cut the hair after. You know, I had to make sure it's good for the next grave. Oh, you're doing the spray at the end. You're having a mirror.

You want to make sure you like the back? There you go. That is crazy. The grave being filled with the silky masses, which had to be cut through before the coffin could be removed. That's fucking nuts. Upon opening the coffin,

the remains, with the exception of the head, were found to have perished. But the skull was... Just a hairy skull? But the skull was wonderfully preserved. What a fucking weirdo. And even the skin intact, and from this... Skin? 20 years?

Yeah, sure. If you take care of your skin... I'm alive. Of all people, you should know, your skin will hang around. I'll still be doing skin care in the grave. And from this had grown a quantity of hair such as no living person could carry. Wow. The lady had been dead nearly 20 years.

And at the time of her decease, her magnificent suit of hair had been clipped short. So there's no doubt of all that was found in the coffin having grown after death. Her son says, however, that his mother's hair was a beautiful, bright golden hue, whereas the post-mortem growth is of a pale, colorless tingey and coarse. Why are we digging her up? Though retaining a sort of vitality. Why are we digging her up? That's a great question. Have we gotten it?

Like, if you reached me for comment about my mother's, I would be like, hey, what are you doing? I think at 20 years, you dig them up just to see what's going on. By the way, if that's our blanket policy, I'm actually okay with it. Every 20 years you get dug up. Yeah, no, I can't go to the game anymore. It's my mom's 20. We're doing the exhuming. Check her out.

Exhuming, human. Wow, look, those toenails. Yeah. Oh, the embalment did a great job on this one. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's got really juiced or good. It had forced its way through the seams of the coffin

entwined about it like the tendrils of a vine and was so thick as to hide it completely while it filled the coffin entirely. That is so fucking crazy. It's horrifying. You just take, you open the coffin and it's just hair. A big mass of hair. Wow.

She's really growing. Scary. Yeah, it's really creepy. I think of fingernails also grow when you're all dead. Dead as well. That's scary, too. Yeah. That's horrible.

It was calculated. Like, you just open it. You're like, oh, my gosh, just nails and hair. Yeah, it's so gross. It was calculated that there was nearly 75 pounds. No. No, shut up. Have you not weighed hair?

Do you not weigh hair? That's how I know if I need a haircut. I'm like, well, it's seven pounds now. So what are we doing? Can you just take two pounds off the back? Like a deli counter. Just cut it thin and two pounds would be great. It's a little over.

That's fine. The strands are nearly 10 feet in length. The lady on whose head this grew died at the age of 27 and after an illness of only a few hours. Consequently, retaining her robust and full inhabited figure, which may possibly count for the extraordinary growth. She was a bucking lady. What the fuck is this guy saying? She was really put together, you know what I mean? Her hand kept growing, and her body was smoking hot when we opened it.

Guys, we got in there and the body was banging. She's a freaking ten, dude. Scholars 10, body tan. Here we go. Dude, I swear to God, if it blinked, I'd have hit it. We got in there to look at the ass, and yes. So the reason why we exhumed it was because we thought that your mom was still going to be a smoke show, and she still was fucking hot as shit, dude.

Hairy as hell, though. She grew a beard. When it was removed from about the coffin, the ladder fell apart, showing that it held together by the hair. Oh, the body, I think. I think the body fell apart. The body is... I don't think this should be in a paper. It's not as hot.

It's not as hot. So we gave your mom a head cut, and she just kind of, you know, that was it. So we shaved your mom's head and she shattered. fuck well that one was upsetting that's really that'll stick with me i'm not going to lie yeah it's a creep show that'll stick with me that was so visual the whole thing is horrible oh the wonderful skull the voluptuous body the 72 pounds it's so descriptive it's a horror movie yeah oh Jesus Christ we should be burned yeah the thumb ring it is taken a long while for the thumb ring to make any headway in New York, but it is very slowly

gaining ground. Can you imagine reading this paper and being ready to move on to the thumb ring article after what you just read about hair, juggling over a woman? Yeah, now it's time to talk about the thumb ring. All right, anyway, people are wearing rings on their thumbs. Wait, why did you dig up the woman? Anyway, shut up. People are putting rings on their thumbs. How crazy is that? Today, enough lifting news. All right, let's shift in gear. Men are piercing their ears. Mr. Dixie was the first man to wear a ring upon his thumb, and he has clung to it tenaciously for two years.

This is when there was so little happening. They were just like, did you hear about me? Did you hear about that? Oh, and he like walked into a bar, and they're like, like, what? Dixie, what's happening with this? Well, you can have a whiskey if you take that fucking ring off your thumb. You out of your mind?

He's like, no, the thumb, it stays here. It's the one thing. I have. You're disgusting. Look at what I can do on the bar. Huh? Tippity, tap, tap. That's with my thumb.

This guy. I hear that. I like what he's doing. Shut up. It is a plain gold band worn just below the joint, and it was placed there at first merely as a lark. She's a joke. Everyone, I'm playing a bit of a prank on you. I don't know if you've noticed, but I put a ring on my thumb.

Oh, so silly. Oh, my gosh. Stop it. Oh, my goodness, I can't stop laughing. But that night I went home, and I'd never felt more like myself. This is the real me. The laugh was that I had not been putting a ring on my thumb for all those years prior. It excited so much talk among the people who knew the burlesque actor that he has refused.

A male burlesque actor. I just stand up there and go ahead. at their ankles that he has refused to take the ring off and has worn it ever since actors always have a certain following among young men whose brains are not of dangerous weight we got to bring that back that is the greatest way to describe an idiot Joe Rogan his brain is not a dangerous I came up with I came up with the best one-two combo question for Trump if you could ever interview him this is what I would do the first one is I would say

how much higher is your IQ than Biden's and I'd let him cook for five minutes on how his IQ's better and then my follow-up would be what does IQ stand for yeah that would be pretty good you'd be like it doesn't stand for anything

a lot of people the small things have oh whose brains are not of dangerous weight and who are capable of devoting their energies to small things. Sure. The small things have taken the form of a thumb ring

and there is a very considerable portion of rather young men about town who are following Mr. Dixie's example. So it's a fad, but they're mad at it. I cannot imagine reading a thing about a woman enveloped in hair in a coffin and feeling okay to discuss thumb fashion. Yeah

Last one All right Yep Ladies riding man fashion An attempt made to induce the ladies to abandon the side saddle Oh Oh this They want them to stop riding side saddle

Now side saddle Just legs on one side Yeah you can't have the legs I know about this from Have you guys seen Princess Diaries to Jenny it is the great shame that on behalf of the show we've not a great question for us but no I'll tell you what if the greatest thing that would have ever happened

is if Dave was like yeah for sure I love that whole part how does it relate to the Princess Diaries too there's a scene in Princess Diaries too where because she's a royal she's meant to ride side saddle but she can't because it's really it feels really unnatural so what they do is they got her like a fake leg um to make it look like she was riding side saddle but then in the scene someone like somehow the leg drops off and then everyone's like what's happening so that's how i know about side saddle that's pretty good that is i i cannot so what is the logic there that it's unwomanly to it's literally just don't have your leg spread you know what's so fucking amazing is the What's so weird about dudes is the unbridled perversion, and yet, like, you would be like, yeah, okay. So, like, if you're a man in this area, you'd be like, yeah, open your legs, but instead they're just, like, decorum overdoes it where they're like, no, you're sinning. Yeah, if you have your, if you're writing, not writing side saddle, you're ruined.

Fucking, not to me, boys. Efforts have been made to introduce among ladies the fashion of riding astride their horses instead of using the less safe side saddle. Oh, because they're getting hurt all the time because they're riding it like a crazy person. It's a risk we're willing to take as men. Some have to die. Look, obviously, the numbers of death are too high, but what is the alternative? Them having their legs open?

I don't think so. The subject was... Yes, of course. It's just not okay. The subject was discussed a year ago in many of the papers, but as the ladies did not encourage it, the idea was dropped. Yeah, again, it is the fault of the women for... Yeah, it was clearly their fault in the 1890s for not screaming their wants. But it bobs up now and then, and it is possible it will finally be adopted.

The position is not an unnatural one. The women of half-civilized tribes in... This is shocking and not okay. Already. The Indians, the Cargis, the Tartars, et cetera, always ride astride. So do the Mexicans, Albanians, Romanians, and the people of some Austrian provinces. Stephen Miller's diary got opened. It was a general custom in Germany as late as the end of the 12th century.

12th century. I mean, yeah, everyone's like, look at it, going, what are you doing? Chestess. Oh, wait. This is the only way. Hi, I'm the guy who opened a cat's leg And let me tell you why women can't have their legs open But also, to do that, they would have to wear pants, right?

Yeah, but surely... There's no pants wearing at this time. Oh, that's what it is. I think you can still do it, according to Princess Diaries, when I watch this. Please. Yes. The documentary.

The history, yeah. Yeah, as we know, you can still do it with like a skirt, like a really long skirt. You can still do it that way as well. And then it's because the skirt's so long, it covers everything. And the fake leg. That's how you get the fake leg. The length of the dress to me would be very important into pulling the fake leg off.

Yeah. And not pulling it off. I'm fooling people with it. Because the last thing we want is that leg pulled off. That's right. Because everyone's aghast and the cat's out of the bag. Speaking of the cat being out of the bag, let's cut its leg open and do a line.

There is no doubt that such a mode of writing is both safer and more graceful. The costume, of course, complies with propriety, and models have already been given. The illustration shows the costume proposed, so it's just basically... It's a terrible drawing of a woman on a horse with her legs open. And she's got a top hat-looking thing on, and yeah, she's just... Oh, so it looks like almost like a skirt that is slit in the front so that they can put their... legs astride right okay we are very weird people yep um the body is made i think it's body

the body is made in the usual jacket shape and the loose skirt divided up the back and front but so provided with buttons as to be enclosed at will this is so fucking stupid yeah even during a sharp gallop, it covers the drapes, it covers and drapes the writer's limbs and by the most awkward mounting and dismounting is equally decent. Can't see the goods.

It's just crazy. I don't know what way. America is just so goddamn stupid. Beneath its fold come tight-fitting black tricots? Tricots?

No idea. Or if preferred, wide cloth or velvet trousers. The reform is in the hands of earnest women who are pushing it vigorously. It is not likely that it will again be dropped. Okay. So the women are trying and the men are like,

but it'll probably not do shit. What do they know? What do they know about how they feel? Yeah, dudes, yeah. Dudes are chill. Dudes are cool. Well, welcome to America, Jenny. Welcome to the party.

Wow, what a beautiful introduction to the history of this place. Wow. I really gave you a good crash course and what you're going through. It's going to be awesome. Australia is no less fucked up. I disagree. The history of Australia is pretty whack. It's not good history, but right now you'd rather be in Australia.

Giving the emergency hatch is a good thing. Although she just moved to America, so she disagrees. She's here to conquer America. Well, you can conquer America. and not drink the Kool-Aid. That's the key. Let's say how possible that is. Yeah.

Or in two years' time, I'll be like, bye, guys, actually. I'm back in Australia now. It was so much better. We'll be there with you, riding our legs on the side of a horse. Well, Jenny, we're all excited for you to go to Australia to tour and to tour here.

And when we put this episode out, we'll link to all your stuff. And people can follow you and find you. And enjoy the ride with their legs. open on the saddle if they want and cocaine and cocaine that's the way that's the way thank you for joining us we appreciate it thank you so much for having me this was so much fun yeah we'll do it again hey dollop fans i know you love the dollop you love listening to the dollop do you want to watch the dollop you're like gareth what are you talking about by the way it's not gary it's gareth well we have

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