The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 156 - The Marblehead Smallpox Riots

Episode Date: March 2, 2016

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the Marblehead Smallpox Riots of the 1800's. SOURCESTOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

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week I read a story to my friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. I feel like we nailed that one. I'm working on projecting. I feel like we nailed that one. Nailed it. Nailed it. Alright. Do you want to look who to do? I'll do one bottle. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gareth. Stay okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is not going to become the tickly podcast. Okay. You are queen fakie of made-up town. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle and do my frame. Hi, Gary. No. Is he done, my friend? No. No.

Alright. This is good talking to you. We will see you next week. No. I think you forgot about the podcast. Oh. There's that part we got to do. Remember? Yeah. 1520. Whoa. It's a ways. Wow. You've purged. The Spaniards came across the Atlantic and invaded Mexico. They brought with them the wonderful disease called smallpox. Better than bigpox. Go ahead. It killed over half of the Mexican population. It spread across North America and Native Americans found themselves victims of wave after wave of the disease. So far, it's a good start. We're jumping right in. So far, it's great. Okay. By the time

Jamestown was settled in 1607, American Indians had become accustomed to outbreaks of the dreaded disease. Smallpox is very, very infectious. It was the most feared disease of the American colonies. It was called the speckled monster. But it is a disgusting disease. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm going to go through what happens. It's going to be great. It's going to be great. This is where you just had your breakfast, right? Yeah. It really did. Okay. Get ready. Killed because up to 30% of people who get it, right? Okay. Survivors could be blinded and scarred. First, the victim would come down with a temperature of 103

or higher. A quick pulse and intense headaches. Then vomiting and pain in the loins. And the loins are just... That's where your meaty parts are. Okay. That's where the happy stuff is. Sorry. Oh, it's your pee pee. And your back would be an agonizing pain. And that would last about three days. And then on the third or the fourth day, skin eruptions would begin on the forehead and then spread all over your body. And they're just little like pustules of... Yeah, they're little pustules. Disease, right? Yeah. Yeah. They're little pustules of disease. If I ever get skin eruptions, just can you kill me? Oh, dude, once I start vomiting, my

head hurts. It'd be like, take me out back and put a bullet in me like old Yeller. Go ahead and shoot me. Yeah. I'll be like, I'll be like, no, no, it's day three. I'm not waiting for the box. The eruptions would leave scars all over your body. So you would just be... If you're lucky. That's why it was called the Speckled Monster. Yeah. They would leave... Yeah. If you're lucky. Yeah. Or you could be blind. And if you're blind at that time, no one helps you. You just walk around bumping in. Hello. Excuse me. Hello. I think I just heard someone say, don't say anything. Whoever's shushing, please stop. I'm blind and I'm trying to

find my way. If there's any bread or... I heard someone shush. Because he's still shushing. My fucking skin's erupting. No, you would already, it would already have erupted. Ah, there you are. Come here, sir. Found you, fucker. In 1780, an English woman was in Turkey when she witnessed a smallpox party. Wait, a what? Smallpox party? An SPP? Yeah. Fucking... You know me? Get out the fucking rave. Yeah, it's like burning skin. But with smallpox. Right. Yeah, burning skin. An old woman came in to a room full of guests and she scratched open a cut with a needle on one of the guests' arms. Then she pulled a nutshell out. Inside was pus from an

open smallpox pustule. She dipped the needle in pus, then put it in the cut. Sorry. Smallpox party? Smallpox party? Who is this party crasher who just walks in and starts picking pox? She's the lady who fucking... She's like the DJ at a rave. She just comes in and she just... She... Okay, what the fuck? They cut someone's arm. She just walks into a smallpox party, which I just found out about. And everyone's like, alright, let's do this. So that she cuts their arm and then she takes a little needle of pus and dips it into their arm. And removes pus? No, she puts the pus in. Why is she... Who is wanting more pus? Everyone who

was... Everyone got infected. And everyone... Wait, what did she do? She walked into a party and she just started... She found... She picked a smallpox. She had pus in a nutshell. She just had a nutshell full of pus? Yeah, that's how she rolls. Well, I guess there's my question, Mark. So she comes in and she gives... She basically infects everyone. And everyone's like, alright. Hey, cool. She brought a shell of pus. We're gonna get so sick tonight. And then she just infected everybody with smallpox with a syringe. And then they're all fucking high, basically. Everyone who was infected came down with a mild version of smallpox, which left most of

them immune from the much harsher version of smallpox. So basically... So we're talking about... This is a vaccination. The vaccine. The English woman went back to England and performed the procedure on her son. And more and more people began inoculating, though many were not convinced that this worked. Of course. Because like you, when you first heard it, it sounded fucking insane. Right. Everyone was in... So everyone who was infected comes down with a mild version, right? Inoculation against smallpox first occurred in the American colonies in 1721. Cotton Mather. Keep going. That's just his name. Someone named their child that. Yeah. Was

a Puritan minister who had briefly studied medicine. One of his slaves told him of an inoculation procedure that was performed in Africa. And he asked other slaves about it and then wrote... Okay, but try and read this the same way he wrote it. That in their country, Grandie Mandy... Wait, wait, sorry. That in their country, Grandie Mandy die of the smallpox. But now they learn this way. People take juice of the smallpox and cutty skin and put in a drop. Then bind by a little sticky sick. Then very few things like smallpox and nobody die of it and nobody have smallpox anymore. So he's an idiot. He's... That's an idiot, right? I wish I

could show you how it was written because none of the words are words. He's adorable. What is he? Three? Sicky, Sicky. Sicky, Sicky, Sicky. Yeah. So he's a moron. But Boston was hit with a smallpox epidemic the same year that inoculation was begun in the colonies and he decided to bring it up with the Council of Physicians in Boston. Okay. They were like, no, that's a terrible idea. Why would you give people smallpox? Right. They believe it would just spread smallpox instead of preventing it and in some cases it did, though the number of survivors would greatly improve. Plus, the way it was done with the needle and the

pus could lead to other diseases being spread so you could give someone syphilis by doing that. Also fun. Syphilis is great. Fun. Both fun rides. William Douglas, Boston's only physician with university training, led the movement against inoculation. Only one doctor of all the doctors thought it was a good idea and as it seemed everyone did, he tried it out first on his child. Oh, Jesus. What is with these people? That's how you prove it, though. Right. Hey, Bobby! What about you? Yeah. What about you and yourself? Yeah. How about yourself? No. Or someone else's kid. I need to be here to observe. Or just bring in some guy

off the street and be like, this is nothing. My son's ready. Okay. Six-year-old Thomas Bolston. Right there. That's why you're son. He's six. Yeah. Hey, buddy. Hey, dummy. Hey. Your odds of making it to 10 are slim anyway. Get over here. Sniff this shell. Drink this pus shell. No, that's a horrible. Put this pus shell in my poke needle. Take a shot. But also you have to go around and be like, excuse me, can I have some of your pus? Yeah. Like you have to get the pus. From a small poxy. Yeah. You got to go into a dude who's got small poxy. Hey, bud. Hey, bro. Can I get a hit? Hey, buddy. I'm just gonna take a little piece off your leg here.

Thank you. Don't mind me. Oh, you're screaming. That's weird. This is, looks really itchy. All right. Gonna get moving. Mind if I take that? I'll bring the shell back. Shell's coming back. So Thomas Bolston is the first person inoculated in the new world, which is America, if you don't know. I've read about this place. Anyway, there were a lot of strong feelings about Cotton Mather's suggestion and it led to someone throwing a firebomb through the window of his house. Smart. Some people weren't, a lot of people weren't down with the inoculate. Well, but if you throw a firebomb, then the idea is that your house eventually won't fully catch on

fire. It's like a vaccine. Thank you. Yeah. But the bomb hit the window casing, which disarmed it. That made it much easier for Cotton to read the note. There's attached to the bomb. Okay. So this person's plan. Okay, go ahead. Not good. Do you see? Yes. This person's plan was to throw a firebomb. You don't, you throw a brick with a note on it through a window. Thank you. You don't throw a firebomb with a note on it anywhere. Right. Because you're gonna lose him one of the categories. Either he's not gonna get the information. Right. Or your firebomb's not gonna work. Right. Right. This guy's a terrible firebomber. Yeah.

Notemaker. The note read, Cotton Mather, you dog, damn you, I'll inoculate you with this and a pox to you. So that guy, you could write. Definitely. Not sure how they got. Me go, cotton, cotton on your skinny skin. There were legitimate reasons to be against inoculation. Inoculies were contagious for several days, and they often didn't quarantine themselves. So they would have small pox and just go shopping? Basically. Inoculated people also tend to be wealthy, which meant poor people were likely to catch it from them. This led to class anger. So basically, rich people would get inoculated, and then not give a flying fuck about the

poor people and just go cruise around. Man, I don't see a time like that ever coming again. You know who to stop this, Trump? I'm gonna give you the best small pox we've ever inoculated people with. I know the best scientists on earth, we're gonna inoculate everybody, and then all the poor will cough their way off the map. I know small pox. You don't know small pox. I know the Chinese got a great pox, okay? I know the Chinese. They're gonna pay for it. They're building a robot small pox. Robox. Even with all the people against it, Dr. Bolston still ended up inoculating 246 people in Boston. Mortality from small pox in those

people dropped from 15% to 1 to 2%. Okay? Although it would have been 30%, so that's not right. But still, between April and December 1721, 5,889 Bostonians got small pox, and 884 died from it. Those are the people who did not get the vaccination. One Marblehead resident who was inoculated was Edward Holyoke. He was the president of Harvard College and pastor of the Second Church of Marblehead. Kind of a big deal in town, so when he did it, it was a big deal to get inoculated. Then that epidemic died down, and a few years passed. Then nothing. May 1730, the people of Marblehead heard that small pox was once again raging in

Boston. Marblehead pretty much lost it. They voted to build a fence around the town. Oh no. Across the road into town, they put a lock gate and stationed four guards 24-7. It's gonna be the biggest fence you've ever seen. They had orders to stop all strangers coming from Boston. So this is obviously this working. Who are you? Uh, chef, where are you from? Chicago? Enter! Yeah. God, you've been there for two months. Blacks, American Indians, and slaves were given a nine o'clock curfew. I don't know how that works in with small pox. I think they were just like, hey, hey, I know, hey, check it out.

If we're making rules. While we're making rules, let's uh, no black people outside at night. Come on. Who's with me? Just pat it in there. You know how we can stop small pox? Just listen to me. Just listen. I've got an idea. You know how we can stop small pox? Keep the, keep the, anyone with brown skin in, skin in at night, right? Are you with me? Are you with me? No black people out past 9 p.m. Can everybody put your hands in? Put your hands in. Put your hands in guys. Nooo black at night! Um, so, uh, the blockade was not successful. How was the blackade? Very successful. That's still kind of going on. Okay. Yeah. In October, Hannah Waters, a young marble

head woman, came down with small pox. Edward Holyoke, who had received the inoculation in 1721, encouraged people to get inoculated. And so did the other influential parishioners, Judge Richard Dana, fancy merchant. Oh, I thought that dude's name was fancy merchant for a second. That's got that had to have been. Somebody had to be named that. No, I mean probably, but this also is clearly one of those auto-corrects, because there's no way it's fancy merchant. That's what it says the name is? It says fancy merchant, but there's no way. I would have noticed it the first time. Let's, let's just for fun, for the fuck of it, it's fancy merchant. Okay, so fancy

merchant Stephen Minnow. Hello! Hi there! Fancy bag anything? Would you like some feathers? Merchant John Tasker and trader Joseph Blaney. But the townspeople were still not into the idea and didn't want to hear it from the town's leaders. They were Calvinists, and they believed that God should decide who lives and who dies. Yep, smart. That's a fun game. Inoculations were interfering with God's plan. Yes. You're right. Absolutely. Yes, thank you. He planned all this. He's very weird. Benjamin Walker, shopkeeper, called inoculation quote, a wicked practice among Christians. It's just, it really is just the same shit different

day. It's whatever, whatever the other is. Let's not stop it. Could you get, so if you had smallpox, you could then, you could still get the vaccine when you had it, you could get inoculated. No, then you were fucked. You're fucked. Right. Okay. Because if that was true, then everyone would have got it. I thought that's what you were saying before. Okay. So many writers at the time were also against inoculation. One writing quote, inoculation is unlawful because disease is a mysterious work of God, not to be inflicted by human hands. So it makes sense. Like if you, basically what they're saying is, is if you get smallpox

is because you're a sinner. You've sinned and God's like, I'm taking you out, bitch. He's a very quirky. Here's what, here's. He is. That's in, that's in the Bible. If it wasn't for the contagious factor. Right. You, we should just never fight the people who say stuff like that. Be like, all right. Well, sniff the blanket. Okay. So yeah, no, no vaccinations for you, I guess. Here you go. Sniff the blanket. Sniff the blanket. Sniff the blanket. Come on. Take a rip off this blanky. Take a good pull now. Sniff, sniff, pass. I just want to make sure I understand this. Yeah. So dude walks in with a bunch of blankets. Yeah. And

throws them on the floor and says, Hey, sniff the blanket. One blanket. And he treats it like a joint at a hippie party. Pass it around in church. It's sniff, sniff, pass. Hey, if you believe in the blanket, if you believe in God, this won't do anything. Sniff the blanket. Sniff the blanket. You believe in God. The body of Christ, the blood of Christ. Sniff the blanket. There you take a good pull now. Not too much. Here you go. Rub it on your eyes. Perfect. Next. Next. Also, inoculations were expensive. The town didn't have the money to cover the cost. I don't know why they were expensive, right? You're just taking pus, putting it

in a shell, and then different needle. Shell pus. It doesn't seem like it'd be that expensive, but maybe the guy who had it. The shell guy is the expensive guy. The pus gathering or whatever, or... It's a shell guy. It's the shell guy? He's just an upseller. Yeah. Entrepreneurial. So the town had a meeting on October 12th, 1730, and voted that if everyone couldn't be inoculated, then they would ban inoculation. Smart, because it's a smart policy to have. Right. That makes a lot of sense. All or none. Yes, completely. We all die or we don't. Jesus. Being rational has always been frustrating. Then the rumor mill kicked in. People started

hearing that Stephen Minow, the fancy merchant, was going to defy the ban and get himself an inoculation. Of course, some people stirred shit up and soon a mob formed and threatened to burn down the homes of Minow and Judge Dana. It seems you really... Mob forming was pretty easy for a long time in our history. Super easy. First of all, there was just nothing to do. People didn't have cars. Yeah. You're kind of already in a mob when you're walking around on the streets anyway. You're pissed in general. It's hot. You got to wear weird hats. All you do is you just walk in the middle of the street instead of on the sidewalk. Yeah.

And then you're like, hey, now we're in a mob. Are you guys crossing the street? No, we're mobbing! The mob was quelled before any serious damage was done and somewhere arrested. Because public opinion was largely in favor of the rioters, the punishments were minimal. Of course, none of this helped stop the spread of the smallpox. Oh, right. That thing. It spread across the town, afflicting almost every family. Business is closed, the ferry to Salem stopped running, and people fled the town of Marblehead. All loose dogs were killed. Excuse me. Pardon? Why are you bringing loose dogs into this? Again, I think that

this is just another one of the things like when they said black people can't go after nine, I think they were just like, all right, I can kill the dogs. Hey, guys, I got another addendum. What's up? Any dog that doesn't have an owner, we kill. Right. And then also, obviously, no black people out past nine. Right. Yeah. And you can't turn around during the day physically. All right, I'm gonna get out of here. Did that just happen? Thanks, guys. I gotta sniff the blanky. Was that a rule? Go to sniff the blanket down a church. Samuel Rhodes wrote, quote, the disease continued its fearful ravages till late in the summer of 1731 and gathered its

victims with an unsparing hand. Rich and poor, young and old, learned and the unlettered were like afflicted by this impartial agent of death. It's just an airborne, it's an airborne disease, right? But I can't believe it kills people who can't read as well as people who can't read. That is shocking. That can't be happening. I can read. Yeah. Smallpox is kind of braille of the body. Eventually, like all smallpox epidemics, it died down after killing many. Edward Holyoke, the big halfway in town, president of Harvard College, pastor of the Second Church of Marblehead, had a son in 1728, Edward Augustus Holyoke.

Well, he's a fancy. Yeah, he's a very fancy. Young Edward went into medicine learning as an apprentice until he opened his own practice in Salem. He became a big advocate of inoculations and went to Boston during an epidemic in 1764 and was inoculated against smallpox. He took careful notes on how to do the procedure. In June 1773, a small smallpox once again hit Marblehead. An old woman died of it, but when she was first ill, the townspeople did not know what she had. So many went to visit her. How do you? She's got the fever and she's got the aches and stuff, but she doesn't have the pustules yet. I don't know. You know

the deal. If anybody came down with a fever in this time and fucking walking away. Yeah. My wife, my child. Hey, good luck, man. Good luck to you. Honestly. I'm taking a fucking walk. Look, you're sick. Good luck. Yeah, good luck. Good luck. You know what? I'll see you in six days. Okay, maybe. Okay, spotty. Like, I just, there's no one. Hey, Margaret, sick. Would you like good to go down and touch it? Well, we're gonna go see Margaret. She's sick. We're gonna go rub her skin and make her feel better. I might lick her tummy. Yeah, I'll be sniffing a blanket. So, so she's sick for three days before they realize that 150 people visited her. Well, so first of all, was she a fucking

beetle? It's like a train station. 150 people at that time. Everybody's coming in. That's everybody. Yeah, everybody. It's just nuts. Someone be rational. So clearly, Smallpox spread in the town. Why? I can't figure out why. All the houses where people came down with Smallpox were closed and guarded. The town dogs were killed again. Yeah, of course. Don't kill the fucking dogs. You know, it's called the just cause clause. Those who did come down with the disease were moved to a house near the ferry. In August, the town had a meeting where they debated whether or not to open up a public inoculation hospital on islands in the heart on an island in the harbor. It was voted down, but they did authorize a private hospital to be built on Cat Island.

That's where all those dogs went. Yeah, probably with the exception that they would quote, be in no danger of infection they're from. Sorry. So Cat Island? Right. So they're billing. So now they they're not going to put public money to her, but they said, but they said if some private guys want to build a hospital, they can on Cat Island. That's the only rule is that no one can no infection can come from that hospital. And are you asking how that might be proven? No. Were there cats on the island? I don't know. Well, maybe it looked like a cat. Meow. I feel like we're getting off. Meow. That's why it makes that it makes that noise. Yeah, that's actually why.

Okay, so so basically they there's a there's a place where their test it's in the test market stage. So four men who were prominent citizens of Marblehead, John Glover, Jonathan Glover, brothers, Azor Orney, terrible name. Jesus. Azor Orney. Nobody's winning in the name department. And Elbridge Jerry brought they bought Cat Island on September 2nd. They quickly started building a hospital. The townspeople then became upset by the idea of the hospital that they had approved. Sure. So they held another meeting on September 19th and revoked permission to build the hospital that they were building, which was already being built. Right. Perfect. Well, it seems like they've got a handle on smallpox. What's next?

So the four guys who were building it said, all right, well, if you buy the materials that we bought to build the hospital, then we'll stop building it. If you if you cover our fucking ass, right? The town refused to buy the material. Are we building a spite hospital? Is that what's happening? The town refused to buy the materials and demanded that all the work be stopped. So the owners continued building the hospital. In a very short time, it was finished. This is pretty unheard of. Don't help hurt the helpers. Kill the helpers. Quick building something that will help us. Look a black guy and it's dark. We're building something that will help you go fuck yourself. Kill these dogs. Yes, kill the dogs. Kill the dogs. A large two-story building

was built. A prominent smallpox doctor was hired to run the hospital and inoculations were begun. While most people were treated successfully, a small number died. So there is a small percentage that get inoculated and died. Yes. But it's still better than what happens. Right. Far better. Yeah. Now the townspeople were furious. The hospital was nicknamed Castlepox. Well, come on. You got to hand it to the marketing department, right? That's not bad. Castlepox. Castlepox is great. In January, four men from Marblehead were caught stealing contaminated clothing from the hospital. It's assumed they were going to use the clothes to spread the epidemic and that the hospital will be blamed and shut down. Are you seeing a faulty logic here?

Very faulty logic. There's some guys sitting there. Their smear campaign involves spreading smallpox, which is a shocking tactic. Yeah, it's also they're going to get smallpox. Yeah. The whole plan is fucked up. So beyond belief, it's fucked up. You got it. Well, who? It's a terrible. There's no part of the plan. We're like, that's a good plan. There's not one part. Oh, I see what you were going for. Oh, you know what? You want to stop an epidemic. So the way to do it is to start one and then go they started the epidemic and then they'll shut down the place that helps stop the epidemic. Well, I think I do see what you guys are doing and I'm pretty impressed.

It didn't go well for the men. They were caught. They were tarred and feathered. Jesus. They were put in a cart and taken through the streets of Marblehead for all to see and probably throw shit out of them. You know, that was the time. After that great public display, they were taken to Salem while behind that's where you want to go to trial. Right. While behind them, men and boys marched to music with five drums and a fight parade. So it's a parade that's that turns into a tar and feather parade. It's yeah, some it's the only time where you could either in two seconds be on a mob or have a parade. Okay, there was then a smallpox outbreak of 22 cases.

The fault of the guys who stole the fucking. Well, you don't know that. Now the people are really furious with the men who had opened the hospital. So it's working. Right. Their plan is now working. Well, I think what they did was they played to the dummies. Yeah. This is probably a good time. I mentioned that inoculations were now being practiced in many places in the colonies without any of this. Right. Okay. Good job, Boston. Yeah. Anyway, the furious Marbleheaders were now openly threatening to lynch the owners of the hospital. That'll solve it. John Glovert put two small artillery pieces in the front room of his house. What? He put cannons in the front of his house. It's fine. It's fine. This is Boston.

But they probably still have that in Boston. Oh, yeah, they do. No, there's definitely cannon houses. That's Tommy's place. He's got the fucking cannons. That's Louie. He's got a fucking cannon. Fuck, kid. This is a big fucking cannon block. I don't have to tell you yet. A lot of fucking cannons. I don't fuck. I can't do it. The townspeople said it was the fucking cannon. We're gonna get fucking shit face. Shoot the cannon at Tommy. Come on, fire a fucking cannon at Tommy. In that town, too, cannons was just not a good, I mean, no question that 2am hammered people and loaded cannons. Without a doubt. Don't fucking shoot the cannon, my fucking bare ass in the fucking yard. Come on, kid.

The townspeople started rioting and it lasted for several days. By the way, almost every riot I read about, people would get hammered in that riot. There's no sober riot. Right, no shit face. You get, I mean, it really is like a bar. It's like when you get into a fight, like, you know, if you're drunk, it's the next day, like, whoa, that was weird. I can't believe I really overreacted. Yeah, to do a riot the next day, like, man, we really killed a bunch of guys, huh? Wow, we went crazy. So they blacken their faces, which was a common thing for rioters to do at the time. I think they think that hides there. They can't be out past nine. Right. Flaw. They torched a boat that brought supplies to the island hospital and they went

to the owner's homes and shattered all the windows. Okay. Instead of dying and being killed, the owners agreed to close the hospital. But that apparently wasn't enough. Right. No, that's not. On January 25, 1774, 20 men in disguises snuck onto the island and burned down the hospital. They must have been dressed like cats. I hope so. We're cats. Let's go. Of all the men, only two suspects were arrested. The suspects were arrested on February 25 on a fishing vessel in Marblehead Harbor and taken into jail in Salem. A mob then formed in Marblehead. Sure. And they marched to Salem and surrounded the jail. They wanted their boys back. The mob broke through the doors, beat down the guards and freed the two

prisoners and went back to Marblehead. Now the sheriff in Salem was not down with the breakout of the guys and he got 500 men to join him and he marched to Marblehead. Oh boy. The Marbleheaders formed their own mob of equal size. So there's a big standoff when they get to Marblehead. That's a mob off. The owners of the hospital didn't want to see the whole fucking town destroyed by a thousand idiots fighting each other. So they came out and said they would back off the prosecuting of the two men and the sheriff left without a conflict. Really, it's hard to hate the hospital people, right? Seems like they're pretty rational. Yeah. A short time later, a man by the name of Clark, who had been one of the four guys who had stolen clothing from the hospital and been

tarred and feathered, right? Yeah, let me guess. He's holding the grudge. Went back and stole clothing from what was left of the what? What was left of the hospital? What? What? Well, I just, Clark is a man with integrity. Does he remember the tarring and feathering? I feel like the parade. I feel like there are not many deterrents that you can do to stop Clark from making his fucking point. Clark's going to go get more clothing. Clark's a fucking stubborn, clearly Irish, Boston son of a bitch. He's a good guy. Hearts in the right place. Might be drunk. Yeah, for sure. Dude, I'm going to go fucking take more fucking clothes. Come on, Clark. Listen, listen, the problem with the last time was that I got caught. Now, shut the fuck up. I'm going to go, this is the difference

this time. Okay, I'm going to go back to the hospital and I'm going to take clothing. That's what you did last time. Yeah, yeah. So he steals the clothing. And then when he got back to town, he was immediately caught. Fuck. It was a good play. Fuck. Fuck me. And he was ordered to take the clothes to the ferry building. When he came back, an angry mob had formed surprise. We're not sure what we're angry about. What were you doing? We're ready to freak. They were ready to beat the crap out of him, but the town selectman came and calmed everything down and sent the man home. But then at 11 p.m. 20 men went to Clark's house, took him from his bed and tied him to a public whipping post and brutally beat him. Jesus. That was the end of the smallpox riots

in Marblehead. A few years later, Edward Augustus Holyoke was put in charge of a smallpox hospital in Salem. He inoculated 600 patients and the disease never took hold in the town again. Anti-vax people are cool. Oh, is that? Oh, oh, I get it. Oh, so that's what you do to us, huh? You reel us in with a fun story and then tell us that we can prevent autism with needles? Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, snake oil salesman. Yeah. Anytime you've seen pictures of smallpox, I remember seeing a picture of when I was younger and I was very disturbed by what I see. I mean, it looks just like the chicken pox. That's an adorable kind of pox. Yeah, it's cute. This is this is that forever and it'll kill you. It's still in like three places and like, you know,

deep like we have it in like the wherever we keep all of our worst def con one fucking right ones. Wait, what do you mean? We have the disease or we have the worst diseases on the face of you? Yeah, we have smallpox is gone. Yeah, the worst diseases. So smallpox is sitting in a in a in a vial somewhere. Yeah, deep deep down. It's actually in a sweater in a room. It's in a sweater in a shed. Yeah. But yeah, but we have it. We still have it just in case. Well, do you know why keep it? That's it. But there are there are these like crazy like they're they're beating cancer and AIDS now sometimes and like with these with these diseases, like they're taking smallpox and they inject it and then they can't then smallpox eats the cancer. And then you just got maybe that's

when you let you just let go smallpox. It's the cutest of the box. Chicken's fun, but small, tiny pox. They're adorable at this age. We want to thank everybody who donates to Patreon. You guys are awesome. If you want to donate. If you enjoy the podcast, please go to patreon.com and do that. Yes. Yes, it's great. And we're signing cars. Thanks.