The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 163 - Syphilis in America

Episode Date: March 27, 2016

Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine Syphilis in America. Where it came from, how it was handled and, oh, man how it was handled. SOURCESTOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. You're listening to the dollop. This is a bi-weekly American History podcast each

week. I read a story from American History to my friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Oh you have notes. It was what? Almost luxury and devoid of humanity. What are you taught? Have you listened to yourself on this before just because you did one normal last episode doesn't mean that now you know how to do it. I'm like an angel. Nobody agrees with that. I'm an angelic podcast. Nobody agrees with that. Except the Angel Podcast for the Union of America. Yeah really I'd love to see some paperwork on that. I'd love to see some paperwork on that. A business card just one email some

proof of its existence would be nice. Do you want to look who to do? I'll do one bottle. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gera. Dave okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is not gonna become a tickly podcast. Okay. You are queen fakie of made-up town. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle and do what? What the fuck did you just say? What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say?

What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say?

What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say?

What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say? What the fuck did you say? Yeah, you know, it really, if you've got to find a scapegoat or escape genital, I mean, look no further than the ladies. Yeah, there's no way the sailors are bad. It's not the sailors.

No, not the sailors. Not the sailors. Sailors are the best. The women are the only ones spreading it. They're giving it to the men. So the governor of Louisiana, his solution was to send all the syphilitic useless women into the middle of a country where they could infect the Native Americans. What?

What is his plan? His plan is to get their weapons now? His plan is to just send like fembots into the middle of the fucking country to fuck Native Americans to syphilis deaths? Yeah. I don't hate it. I mean, it's not a bad idea. The only drawback is that's where syphilis came from.

So they're probably already far more immune. Yeah. Talk to Chief NoMouth. He will see if your plan works for us. Venereal diseases got much worse when the Revolutionary War began. After the Battle of New York, General George Washington complained about how many of his men were unfit for duty because of syphilis. It's so funny to think that one of the founding fathers had to be like,

these men have fucked too much. I mean, we were not taught that. No, it turns out we weren't taught a lot about George Washington. The Continental Congress in 1778 voted to find every soldier $4 who was hospitalized with venereal disease. Great plan. That's how you that's that'll fix it. Yeah, find them.

When Lewis and Clark made their famous journey across America in 1804, they brought three different mercury treatments for syphilis. Liquid pills and an ointment. The men on the expedition had a lot of sex with Native American women, but they already had syphilis and no one is sure who gave it to whom. How great would it be if somebody could invent some sort of thing to put around your dick? Like a like a lady? Bingo.

Oh wait, that's actually you're right. We're already doing that. I've invented a woman. Look at her. Fits right around it too. Yeah, I don't know when condoms came along, but you know, the first condoms were made of sheep's blood, so I don't think that that doesn't prevent anything.

No. That's very permeable. Still. Fun to fuck. You gotta have latex. Yeah. And latex is very far off. Or something.

I mean, there's there's could be something. What? I mean. A burlap sack? Like, yeah, I'm sort of I'm sort of picturing, you know, maybe one of those things you drink meat out of. Yeah, those lamb things. Things you drink meat out of.

What is it called the thing? Well, I've never heard of drinking meat out of anything. The thing you have wrapped around your neck, it's like a fucking like hairy canteen. You're making less sense. I'm not talking about testicles. A hairy canteen that you drink meat out of? Meed.

Meed. Not meat. Meed. Not meat. Meat. No, I'm not talking about like some random meat drink. You know, a gravy bag. You know, for those long jaunts,

you get real thirsty in the hot, hot sun. You want to treat yourself to some hot gravy bag? Clark, where's my gravy bag? Bring me the gravy. I've got quite a thirst to quench. I'll tell you, sometimes I think that gravy's making me thirstier. I am parched.

Sorry to think it was a bad idea to fill these up with gravy instead of water. Anyone with me? Gentlemen? Uh, I'm drinking meat. All our tube. Yeah, shit. Um, okay, so where were we?

I still don't remember. We were solving the contraceptive problems of the 1400s. In 1812, the U.S. War Office declared that no one would get their pay while being treated for syphilis. You know, it really is very like similar, like it's just like similar tactics always. It's just like, find them.

It's like, no, help them. Yeah, help them. Wars always seemed to increase the number of prostitutes and the spread of syphilis. By 1850, there were 6,000 prostitutes in New York City, over 500 brothels in Chicago. The civil war increased prostitute numbers in all major cities.

Sex workers often did laundry work and hung around near military posts. Hot. Yeah, right? Yeah. I'm watching these clothes. You want to fuck? Oh my God, more than anything.

I'm rubbing, I'm rubbing these sheets. Quit rubbing those sheets and start rubbing this cock. Okay. Alrighty. When the Union Army took over Nashville and Memphis in 1864, they legalized prostitution. The sex workers were licensed and given weekly medical exams. If they were infected,

they were sent to a special hospital for treatment. Each prostitute was taxed 50 cents a week to cover the costs. What a terrible idea. I know. Foolish way to handle that. So the only time we ever did everything right was in 1864 in Memphis and Nashville. Yep, just like we all thought.

Of course, mercury continued to be used as the main treatment. Oh, well, sorry girls. After the war was over, they got rid of that. But people believe syphilis was spread not just from sexual contact. They thought you'd get it from kissing, public drinking fountains, towels, linens, and many other ways. Okay. Like AIDS in the 80s.

Right, yeah. In July of 1870. They didn't have a Nancy Reagan there for them. They did not. She was so great as we all knew. Very helpful. Really helpful. In July of 1870, the St. Louis City Council enacted what was called the quote,

Social Laws. Social evil ordinance. Whoa, what? It is funny because it's like now we put like such a shine on these laws that are meant to fuck people. Like the no child left behind act is like, but back then they would just be like, what's marketing? Anyway, let's just call it everyone's evil.

You're all bad. Okay. The ordinance appointed six doctors to license and inspect registered prostitutes. It was, if it was discovered as sex worker or syphilis, she would be sent to what was called the social evil hospital. Why would you? Where are you headed? Social evil.

Yeah, I don't know. I got the SIF. Janitals are really fucked up. Janitals are fucked up. Guess what? That means I'm evil. My ear dropped off, so I have to go get punished. The woman would remain there until she was certified as cured.

The social evil ordinance was- But when you were getting cured, you were getting cured through like what methods? Through mercury? Yeah, mercury. So just sometimes it's just you're walking that fine line between poisoning yourself and curses. But it would go away, like the symptoms would go away after a while and then you have it, but you're not showing anything for a while and then they come back and they're worse.

Right. Then your shit's falling off, you know. So there's a period where you look okay. Okay, right. The social evil ordinance was in place for four years until the state legislature got rid of it. Though doctors continue to argue this was the best way to stop the spread of syphilis. In 1880, the American Public Health Association appointed a committee on the prevention of venereal disease.

What a great committee. There's nothing better than when you got to get like older, serious people together for something about like a penis. I call to order the first committee on the prevention of venereal disease. Yes, I actually have. I would love to be able to tweak the name. I think you actually probably have a lot to say. I don't understand.

Oh, because I have very good. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Right. Anyway, when I was- Where's your nose? Right here.

Baby's got your nose. Not falling for that again. Okay. Okay. I'll sit down because obviously- Okay. Thank you. Don't leave any parts of you when you get up.

Okay. I was- I think I was told this is something different than what it is. Okay. Well, this is the committee on prevention of venereal disease. And the main way we do that is by mocking and making fun of people. Okay. Great.

Well, great tactics. The committee issued a report saying that syphilis could quote, lurk and even affect pure women and spotless children. If venereal diseases were restricted to those who sought illicit sexual gratification it might be better to let the guilty suffer and die. There are also many innocent victims because you could get it from towels and drinking and whatnot. So they're saying-

So they're validating the towel theory. The committee on the prevention of venereal diseases. Is dumber than anyone else. It says that everyone that everyone who has it should die because- Because they're sinners. They can send it to kids. Right. But it's also that pure women and spotless children.

Spotless children. Children without spots. Oh, they're clean as hell. They're spotless. Cleaned them up this morning, man. Almost everyone in America believed that immigrants arriving in the country were syphilitic. Boy, just- It is just the same shit different day all the fucking time.

I mean, the fact that everyone here came from somewhere else and it's just the 1800s, it's not that far off from when everyone fucking arrived. Yeah. And now everyone who comes on a boat has syphilis. No, I just guarantee you there's like Irish people who have been there for like a year like, gotta keep these fucking immigrants out. They're fucking itchy genitals. Anti-genitals?

Itchy. Oh. Auntie. Fucking wax out of your ears. So that belief persisted even though all immigrants were given a medical exam. Out of 11,000 immigrants arriving at Ellis Island in July 1921, only 43 had a venereal disease. Jesus.

An Italian doctor who came in 1920 said he had to fight wild accusations that syphilis was common among arriving Italians. Yeah. Well. What are you talking about? Hey, it's just a spicy meatball. Hey. I'm sorry, it's spicy meatballs.

Two of them. And of course- I got a both. And of course, Americans had to combine their syphilitic fears with racism. Of course. Black people- Black people give it to you by thinking. They look at you weird and you have syphilis.

Exactly. Black people in the early 1900s were called, quote, a notorious syphilis-soaked race. And, mind you, they probably had like the lowest numbers of syphilis. They actually had high numbers. You know, in my opinion, that number's probably pretty high for them too. And they had an ever-increasing low standard of sexual morality, according to. From a medical journal, quote,

the Negro springs from a southern race and as such, his sexual appetite is strong. Virginity is rare in a Negro girl over 18. This is the reason for the high rate of syphilitics until some curb is placed on the promiscuous sexual communication in the class of these people, or until proper therapeutic measures are forced upon them. Syphilis will want to rife among them and threaten those with whom they come in contact. It really is- That's a medical journal.

It really is amazing how you'll never be comfortable with the way that they would talk about Black. It's fucking remarkable. It really, I mean, it sounds like when you watch a nature documentary and- Yeah. The cheetah travels in packs because it's like- Yeah. The Negro is known for its outlandish behavior. Yeah.

Don't look the Negro in the eye. Maybe the Black people have a higher rate of syphilis because they don't have good medical care. Well, I would also think that if, like, hearing what you're talking about, like syphilis came from White people. So- Indians. Or it, yeah, but then it was almost like after that it was White people. So, I mean, it's like they was probably introduced into slave culture via fucking

White bigots. Right. All right. Who were hot for fucking. Who liked, who liked the naughty fuck. The naughty fuck. Yeah, you know, one you weren't supposed to do. And don't say it out loud because Quentin Tarantino will make it into a movie.

That's true. In 1910, the Rockefeller Institute for Medical Research started studying syphilis to find better treatments. One researcher was using an inactive solution of syphilis, but he was using it on children without the parents' consent. Who is this hero? What? He would inject them with the inactive form of syphilis to use them as a control.

But people are obviously furious when they found out about it, but the DA's office decided not to prosecute. A guy was giving kids syphilis. Well, inactive syphilis. Regardless. Regardless. He's giving them off the clock syphilis. I don't know if that's the actual term.

And parents, rightfully so, are livid. I would be upset if they gave my child inactive syphilis. I think you would too. I think you'd still be thinking about the triple play, but then right after you'd be like, God damn it. Yeah, it's not cool. He's got syphilis. And the DA is like, well, it's just not easy.

It's gonna be not gonna be easy. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? They got it now. Well, come on, what are you gonna do? In 1916, they discovered a different researcher was puncturing the brains of patients to see if there was

any active syphilis bacteria in their brains. Also not getting consent. Okay, let's just keep going. But there was a medical breakthrough in 1922. Getting a malaria inoculation when suffering from late-stage syphilis would suppress the disease in 50% of people. Interesting. So that's when you're already fucked, though.

Right, but what would it... So it makes you not die or go crazy, like it halts the... But you're still... I mean, you still got some issues. Yeah, nobody's gonna want to help you spread it. That's correct. Late-stage syphilis was a bit of a nightmare. It would affect the spinal cord,

which affected the legs, bladder, and anus. Blindness and deafness were common, and then there was peresis, a progressive mental degeneration. The victim would slowly head toward gibbering idiocy, which would finally end in death. On the journey, they'd have delusions and often act violently, and due to this, they had to be put in asylums.

That's how I want to go. Why not? Just gibberish, talking psychopath alone in a room. Yeah, from fucking. From fucking. During World War I, Secretary of War Newton Baker said a radius of 10 miles around a base where prostitution and selling alcohol to soldiers was illegal.

Okay, somehow I still think they can get access to syphilis. And official Army Bulletin read, quote, sexual intercourse is not necessary for good health, and complete abstinence is possible. Wow. Okay. I mean, it almost seems like there was... There's more abstinence today than there was back then.

I mean, come on. There's no one fucking practiced abstinence ever. Well, there's people now who do. Really? Well, there are, yeah. Yeah. I mean, they're not the people we should... The rates of anal amongst those girls who signed...

Dude, anal doesn't count. Fair. Fair. God doesn't pay attention to the back door. He's just a front door man. Fair enough. I clearly don't have an argument. Yeah. So, what was known as the American plan was created.

It would provide wholesome activities for soldiers and teach them about VD, and remind troops that prostitution was illegal. You boys don't need fucking. Let's play dodgeball. And don't... And also those ladies are illegal. They're illegal.

Giving them money is illegal. Now, this is a Frisbee. Once you throw this, you're not going to want to have sex again. The first time I threw a Frisbee, I didn't fuck my wife for a year. I'll do the talking, Colonel. And when I did, I put it in her bottle. Colonel, Colonel. Because the vagina...

Colonel, you were warned... ...was no longer something that I was interested in. Colonel, Colonel. This Frisbee... Colonel. ...turned me into what is known as an ass man. Colonel, please, silence, Colonel. Anyway, I think you'll have a lot of fun

throwing the disc around today, boys. Colonel, a word? I've never come so hard. Colonel! Some of the wholesome activities included swimming pools, church-sponsored picnics, concerts, parades, chaperone dances, and beach parties. You know, I think in a way, a parade would make you never want to fuck again.

It would be great if you could get syphilis from swimming, though. And then they were like, God damn it, we can't even swim. How great would that be? No swimming. So the red light districts of San Francisco were closed, which just meant hundreds of sex workers moved to dance halls in the city streets. Okay.

In San Diego, they solicited soldiers in cafes, hotel dining rooms, bars, and on the streets. Okay. So they just made it worse. Yeah, they just set like an army of whores out. The War Department then concluded closing red light districts, just moved sex workers to other areas. So they tried other options.

First, they tried to get the women jobs in war work. You can help build tanks. That's right. Instead of fucking. The War Department believed that the women could quote, adopt middle class behavior and proper standards of behavior. But soon they were detaining women suspected of prostitution or being loose. I was doing it for free.

Still. They reasoned that they were protecting soldiers from syphilis and gonorrhea. Okay. In 1918, President Wilson appropriated $250,000 to create detention homes for delinquent women. Okay. 18,000 women of whom 15,520 had VD were committed to institutions between 1918 and 1920. Wow. Staggering number.

Yeah. Each woman was held for an average of 10 weeks. Many were committed without trial or due process. Well, encouraged by the War Department, local and state governments passed laws requiring medical examination of citizens reasonably suspected of being infected with syphilis. So a almost a genital Gestapo? Yeah. That's about right.

Jesus. How you doing, ma'am? I'm okay. Mind if I take a look under that dress? That gives us probable cause. Look at her badge. Look at her badge. In Virginia, health officials.

Hey, sir, how's your dick? It's good. Good. Can I see it? No. Can I put it in my hand? No. Rip his pants off.

Check out his D. Check out his D. In Virginia, health officials were given the green light to examine vagrants, prostitutes, and quote persons not of good fame. 32. So sorry. Anyone not famous? Yes.

This sounds like what they tried in Arizona a couple years ago with Mexicans. It's pretty similar. 32 states in the U.S. passed laws for mandatory examination and detention of prostitutes. Government officials said things like 90% of VD cases were the fault of women. That really is amazing. It's fucking incredible. I mean, especially when you're pulling numbers out of your ass and out of thin air to go with 90%. Fucking.

It's impossible. It would be eradicated almost if it was just 90% of women. Also, come on. It's men. It's total. Well, you can't say it's not both. I mean, it's everybody's fucking. Well, it's both, but let's be honest.

For sure. Men are much worse. And men are, yes. Men, men would be carriers, right? I mean, it's not like. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus.

90%. He's the government official said that men were more cautious and more were more likely to seek treatment and that prostitutes committed moral and social murder. We've always said that when it comes to sex, men are the ones who are way more responsible. Much more. And they don't think with their dicks. It's just a bunch of women thinking with their vaginas out there again. Thank you.

Thank you. You know. We're getting to the heart of it. Thank you. Cops and judges just assumed women exhibiting immoral behavior were diseased. Government pamphlets warned men to stay away from women quote willing to give you a good time. Well, that's the same, of course. That's the craziest pamphlet that's ever existed.

Well, it's called, it's basically like, hey, don't have fun. Here you go. Who wants to not have fun? I mean, who ever wants to fuck? But stay, stay away from women that look like they're a good time. The women who are going to put it out, you don't want them. Go with the loser, ladies. A poster claims 70% of all loose women had syphilis or gutteria.

70% of all, like they're a category. There is no reliable statistic to make that claim. No. At the facilities, treatment was done by force. They were given as many as 19 shots and mercury rubbings. Mercury rubbings? Like jail, the facilities were surrounded by barbed wire fences. Only female visitors and fathers were allowed.

If there was not separate housing for black women, the black women would be put in jail. Jesus Christ. For having syphilis. For having syphilis. Films were produced Films were produced of soldiers and civilians working in, four soldiers and civilians working in factories. The movie fit to fight.

Oh boy. Has a great plot about five soldiers and several prostitutes. The star of the film, Billy Hale, refused to have anything to do with the prostitutes. One of the other guys kisses a prostitute and then runs back to the base, where he grows a cancerous syphilitic lesion on his lip. So it's almost like reefer madness, but of syphilis. It's for syphilis. Right.

Amazing. The other three dudes get busy. One goes back to camp and quickly gets treatment for VD. The other two soldiers go back to the brothel and continue to have fun, and both get VD. At the same time, they all make fun of Billy for not banging prostitutes, and then Billy beats them up. That part is strange. It's a good story.

I mean, if you're thinking about the after, like, it all sounds like an after school special until your hero beats up the other guys. Yes. But he, because they were making fun of him, so they had to show that you can stand up and not deal with the peer pressure. Beat the shit out of anyone who tries to fuck near you. That's right. I would love to hear some of the dialogue from that back in the day.

It must be so. I'm sure we can still find that. Oh, it must be great. I feel like I've seen it over at my friend Josh's because we watch a lot of those. Excuse me. We watch a lot of those old-timey, moral sort of... I thought you were watching a lot of, like, VD stuff. We do a VD night.

You and your buddy Josh could just get together VD time. Still, this plan didn't work that great. During World War I, VD was the second most common reason for disability and absence of duty. It led to 7 million lost person days and the discharge of more than 10,000 soldiers. It almost, like, the tactic almost sounds like the war on drugs a little bit because it's like when you criminalize something that people are automatically going to do, you just get overwhelmed with the numbers and you don't actually solve anything, you just create another symptom.

Right. Yeah. After the war, the Federal Public Health Service took over fighting VD. But now the religions got busy. The religions? Religions. Oh, fuck. Funding?

Hold a snake and your genitals will come back. That's exactly right. We're about to get to that. Oh, good. Funding? Funding was cut 4 million from 4 million in 1920 to under $60,000 in 1926. Wow. The film fit to fight was declared obscene by the New York State Board of Sensor.

The Pennsylvania Board of Sensors banned any film that used the term venereal disease. So the angle now is to de-educate? To just stop talking about it. That's right. Because syphilis only comes around. Your genitals only burn when syphilis' ears are burning. That's right. If you can hear the word syphilis, you can get it.

Syphilis is like Betelgeuse. If you say it three times, it appears on your cock. Thank you. The Catholic Church objected to fit to fight because men in it cleansed their genitals after sex to prevent syphilis. But the whole point was it didn't work, but they did do that in the film. So the church takes issue with basically just like a scene that could have been cut? Yeah, okay.

Smart. The rate of syphilis in the 1930s was between 5 and 10%. Fuck. How fucking crazy is that? You're in a restaurant. Someone in there has syphilis. Yeah. Maybe two.

Yeah. In November 1934, the incoming director of Public Health Service was supposed to give a speech on CBS radio about public health needs. But CBS objected to him saying syphilis. He wouldn't change the speech and left without giving it. The Health Commission of New York objected to the censorship on radio. The president of NBC wrote, quote, radio broadcasts had to be careful about what they allow on the air because they receive a good deal of criticism from parents who believe

that their children should not hear information on certain topics no matter how important they seem. Well, that's the craziest thing to say. Shit. They shouldn't hear about it no matter how important it is. That's basically what he's saying. Political correctness over society's well-being. Yes. Crazy medical cures flourished.

One man said he had a machine that could diagnose syphilis from a person's autograph. Can we? Oh, fuck. Why can't we talk to him? Damn it. That's the greatest man ever. Yeah, no. No, go ahead and put your autograph right down there.

You're good. Yeah, looks fine. Looks OK. I got bad news about your friend, though. Look at your signature. It looks very syphilis. See that giant loop there? That loop says that you have a big ego and your dick will fall off.

You have AIDS. You don't know what it is yet. You're gonna. It's the Instagram. A New York clinic offered treatment. A patient would sit naked on a toilet seat type thing. By the way, I already love this one. He's back against a metal plate and his scrotum suspended in a pool of water.

They're waterboarding nuts. The metal plate would then be shocked with electricity. What? Wait, wait. They would put him on an electric chair toilet, put his balls in water, and then zap him? Yeah. What does the balls in water do? Oh, it's cure syphilis.

It's just better if it's in the water. Oh, my God, that is just a spitball session gone wrong. Imagine the first guy it did. He's like, sorry, what's going on? I mean, it sounds like we just put your balls in the water. Sounds reasonable. All right, all right, all right, patient one, are you ready? Oh, no.

Zap him. Oh, my God, my balls. That's right. Am I cured? Yep. There's blood coming out of my penis. Oh, my God, my balls. Um, yep, there's blood coming out of my penis.

Hold on, no talking for a minute. Oh, fuck. There's blood coming out of my penis. One reason that these crazy cures did well was that early symptoms of syphilis vanished, so it looked like the cure was working. But that's just the dormancy you were speaking. Well, but in truth, those people were spreading the disease. Right, because they thought they were like, I can fuck again.

I'm good again. Again. Because they sat in a toilet where their balls were when swimming. In 1938, FDR signed a bill giving $15 million for the National Venereal Disease Control Act. Okay. This would set up more diagnosis and treatment centers. And to get the word out, there was a play written called a spirochet. Spirochet is the bacterial family syphilis is part of.

There were 32 performances of the play in Chicago. During an emission, you could get free blood tests for syphilis in the lobby. People went to this? Yep. A play was written about syphilis called spirochet. And at an emission, you could get a blood test. You can get the same thing at Hamilton. That's true, actually.

Yeah, you can. You can get tested for rap. In 1932, the Tuskegee Institute and the Public Health Service began a study in Macon County, Alabama. The goal of the study was to learn the effects of untreated syphilis. Macon County's population was 27,000, 22,000 of which were African Americans. Between 1932 and 1972, 399 low income African American men were given syphilis. No.

And told they were being given free medical care while being given no treatment for the disease. Oh my God. Most of the men had not been educated beyond the seventh grade. They were told they had a condition of bad blood. They were never told they were part of a study. They were never told they had syphilis. They were told nothing of the reality of the study. That's so crazy.

That's like concentration camps. No, no, we're fucking monsters. It's monstrous. That's crazy. Free health care. Prior to the U.S. entering World War II, the military held conferences on how to deal with gonorrhea and syphilis during the war. I would love to have been at one of those conferences.

Oh, God. What about not fucking? No. Ah, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Come on, you guys. I'd fuck you right now. I actually have a theory.

Go ahead. I think if you suspend a gentleman with ropes and bury his testicles in earthy soil that if you leave him there for a week after fully watering his underground genitals, I believe that that might get rid of what we're all worried about. Okay. Can we send him to the front lines? Thank you. So they grappled with whether or not.

Feels like this is a no. They grappled with whether or not they should let men with syphilis fight. At first, no infected men were allowed to fight the enemy in World War II. They shouldn't fuck the enemy. Right? Yeah, that's the move. Thank you. You should drop syphilitic men into Japan.

Yoo-hoo. As the war dragged on, though, the restrictions gave way and 200,000 men with VD fought against the Germans and Japanese. Wow. Films such as films known as Suzy Crotchrot films were shown to soldiers. I'm sorry? Films known as Suzy Crotchrot films were shown to soldiers. Suzy Crotchrot? Yeah.

See, you spend all this time like being like, don't say syphilis and now we're at the point where not only do say syphilis but name a character Crotchrot. I think that was just the nickname the soldiers gave. Pamphlets were given out. Training included info about VD. Quote, you can't beat the access with VD was a slogan. You can't beat the access? Oh, right.

Sorry. I was thinking access was spelled differently. Soldiers were given. I was thinking like that was saying like, you get better access with VD. Soldiers were given condoms with their equipment but religious groups protested saying it would just cause fucking. God. The Army Surgeon General disagreed and the condoms continued.

Good. Once again, another war brought a crackdown on sex workers. Social Protection Division and the Secretary of War led the effort. The Social Protection Division was headed by Elliott Ness. Wow. Whose nemesis Al Capone was now suffering from late stage syphilis. Ness Ness closed all the red light districts and brothels in 662 cities and towns. Rapid treatment centers and quarantine hospitals were created.

47 of them were opened by 1947 from Collier's magazine. When Army doctors discover a soldier has syphilis, he is questioned at length and lists of his contacts are made. The girls are rounded up for a check and if found out syphilis, they are taken to the hospital immediately. State police meet incoming buses. Unescorted girls who get off are questioned. If they are coming to meet their husbands, the troopers assist them.

But if they give unsatisfactory answers, they are politely informed that they must undergo examination. Suspect women were arrested and examined. They could be picked up for vagrancy, loitering, or just on suspicion. Well, so that's anything. Right. A married woman grabbed for vagrancy and was pressured to voluntary commit herself. This was because she had eaten lunch alone after leaving her job as a waitress.

Waitresses were already looked upon as suspicious. What? Well, I mean, you know. The woman tested negative and was released. Another woman is arrested for being drunk. She did not list an occupation on her intake form. She was probably drunk. She did not list an occupation on their intake form,

so the social worker just filled in prostitute. A whore. She's a whore. She doesn't have a job whore. The centers and hospitals were known as prostitution prison camps. Good. They had locked gates, barbed wire fences, and no visitors were allowed. This is 1947.

We're locking up waitresses. I mean, honestly, and you thought we did that at TGI Fridays? We should do it at TGI Fridays. We already do. Boom. The U.S. Army began using newly discovered penicillin to treat gonorrhea in 1943. Dr. John Mahoney then decided to take some and test it on syphilis. It worked.

The impact was huge. In June of 1944, the army adopted penicillin for syphilis treatment. Syphilis infection steadily declined. So obviously new infected people were needed to study. Oh, boy. Don't. From 1946 to 1948, U.S. public health doctors infected almost 700 Guatemalans with VD. They were prison inmates, mental patients, and soldiers.

Can I ask this? Why would you just land on a certain kind of people? Why did it have to be 700 Guatemalans? I think that they probably made some sort of deal with the Guatemalan government. And then they were like, let's do this here. Guinea pig them? Yeah. Okay.

So then they would give me syphilis. It was done the name of science to test how effective penicillin was. It was paid for with American tax dollars. The National Institutes of Health paid for syphilis infected sex workers to have sex with the prisoners, which you can, in Guatemala, prisoners could have sex with prostitutes. They would, sorry, say that again? So they would have syphilitic infected prostitutes. Come in.

Go into the prisons and fuck the prisoners. To give them syphilis. Yeah. Wow. But in some cases, the prostitutes did not infect the men. So the bacteria was poured into scrapes made on their penises, faces, or arms. What? What?

Yeah, have faces or arms. I know. Right? Like I'm, you're not asking for much. I know. Just don't scrape it into his. How about a little respect? A little.

Arm. Arm. It was even injected via spinal taps. Ah, fuck. When anyone came down with syphilis, they were given penicillin, unlike the Tuskegee victims. The Tuskegee victims were never given standard treatments by government doctors. They did not offer penicillin when it became the standard method of curing the disease.

Why? The study was finally ended in 1970 after it was leaked to the public. By then, perhaps as many as a hundred men had died from syphilis. The men that were still alive were then given treatment. In December of 1974, the US government agreed to pay $10 million in an out-of-court settlement or $37,000 per participant. Oh, well, that's fine. That's enough for the torture of almost dying from syphilis.

Where syphilis came from has been up for debate for a long time. Until the 20th century, it was believed syphilis was brought from America to the old world by Christopher Columbus. But then in the 1980s, studies came up with possible evidence supporting the hypothesis that syphilis was an old world disease which evolved. They said that 50 skeletons found there proved this to be true. But upon peer review, when the skeletons were looked at by experts, there was zero conclusive evidence that the skeletons had syphilis.

So current prevailing theory is that Columbus brought syphilis to the old world from America. Primary and secondary syphilis rates are today increasing. Good. Syphilis has been quietly evolving resistance to some antibiotics that we use to treat it, although penicillin is still effective and is the main way we treat it here in the United States. Jesus, penicillin? God bless the United States of America.

Okay, so can we say this if, okay, so Christopher Columbus found a land where people already lived and claimed he discovered it. So then he picked up an STD that people already had, but he brought it back as well. So Columbus also discovered syphilis. As much as he discovered America, he discovered syphilis. Yeah, that's true. So we need to figure out a way to rhyme that. Columbus discovered syphilis?

Yeah. He did. I mean, if this is true. 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And then... Also that year, it burned when he pissed because he brought back lots of syphilis. There we go. Boom.

Boom. Girl made up a song. Shit. Everybody feels weird. I do not. I'm not a proponent of syphilis just so that I'm on record. Oh, I am. I'm anti. I'm a big fan.

I'm anti. Big fan. Sorry, Guatemala. Love it. All right. Well, we signed cars. Thanks.