The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 170 - The Past Times with Andrea More

Episode Date: April 17, 2026

Dave Anthony reads a paper to co-host Gareth Reynolds and comedian Andrea More SOURCESTOUR DATESOFFICIAL MERCHHIMSSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Each week we go through a newspaper from a random date and history picked out by none other than Dave Anthony. I Gerith Reynolds have never seen it. And neither has this week's guest. Andrea Moore, who is alive? Allegedly. Allegedly. Hi, Andrea.

Hi. How are you? Andrea, most of our guests... Wow, this is... Yeah, no, feel free to talk over me, Dave. Go ahead, yeah. Do your thing. Yeah.

Most of our guests have been wondering why you put your dogs in so many clothes. Yeah. What an attack. And that's an interesting way of saying that you only have one listener of your show. It's just you. She's accusing me of...

Dave would prefer my dogs not be in the nude, which I think is lurid. I mean, you would rather them not even have collars, which if they get lost. What is your deal? She puts, she. Let her, and by the way, it's not her. She's listening to her dogs as a good parent. She's body shaming her dogs. Your body, your clothes shaming her dog.

She's constantly, she's, she puts shoes on her dog. Don't fat shame them, but you just, we're winning the audience over. I'm saying it's a good thing. They're fat. I love they're fat. Her dogs also make out sometimes. Do your dogs make out? No, well, one of them licks the other one's ear.

Oh, and there's been... That's fine. That's fine. What was that beep? I totally... Are you hearing things now? It totally knocked me off my game. There's going to be a beep every minute so you know the show's continuing.

Andrea, the one thing I know about her is anytime there's a beep. She just shuts down. Yeah, that dog's going to get putting a bed out for tonight. I actually, I have what's called functioning schizophrenia, high functioning. So I just hear a beep. And I go, that's actually fine, kind of annoying, though. But let's keep up. It's a really mild case from what I know about it.

Is that the only thing? You just hear a beep once in a while? The doctor comes over and it's like, it's your smoke detector. No, I also have ADHD. And I'm a writer. Triple Throat. Oh. So your W-G-A-D-A-A-A.

H.D. Good for you. I'm trying really hard to scab, but no one will let me. Because they say we don't actually eat me right now. No, that's true. Well, the truth is, I'm in the guild and I'm trying to scab for the guild, so it's not easy. Andrew, uh, dog outfits, where can people see these on your Instagram? Don't get angry at me helping you promote your Instagram.

Where can people, what is your Instagram? Thank you. It's A. Moore underscore. or less, kind of some fun wordplay if you think about it. Yeah, it's going to take a lot of thinking, but I think it's there. I mean, that's fun. People figure it out. I bet seeing it's helpful.

Yeah. Yeah, taking out a piece of paper and kind of writing it down on that type of learner. I don't know about you guys. I'm not a learner. I do a podcast with Dave, and that's pretty much tapping me out as far as learning goes. A lot of people are like that. A single threat. Yeah.

Half threat. Half threat. Half threat. Okay, Andrew. Well, we're going to go through. Hey, come on now. Half man. Half, nothing. That's just half man. Yeah. She was right. He's a half man. No, no, we do it through AI. Keeping all the failures in. What if I told you he was a half man? And that's it. A real weak man. I'm a real glass half man type of girl. Yeah, that's nice. You should listen to the Take Your Shoes Off podcast. That's a real Rick Glassman. I'm sorry about that.

Andrea, will you pick a year that you think this newspaper is going to be from for us? I really screwed up last time. Do you want me to go first? No. You seem nervous. No, this is actually how I self-soothed by coming off as nervous. Okay. I am going to choose the year, wait, the day.

Dave boys is like, this is the year 1866. That's my guess. 1866? Mm-hmm. Beep. I heard it. It's weird.

I heard it that time, too. 1902. It is 1934. Who wins? No winner. No winner this time. It's the only way to make it fair,

Gareth. I just thought you were going to win. I got to be honest, there's a half man, half nothing. I'm pretty happy with this outcome. Well, now, Andrew's the winner. You're a real fucking asshole. Because it went into too much complaining. I didn't complain?

I was celebrating your decision, sir. The game is also about a vibe. Dave, can I just say how great it is that you do that? Well, now the ass kissing is weird. You just lost the next one we do. That sucks for you. Automatic forfeit. Yeah.

You forfeited the next podcast game. It is June 3rd, 1934, the Los Angeles Times. Are you from Los Angeles? No, I'm from Wisconsin. Where'd you grow up, Andrea? I grew up in Palo Alto. Same thing. Yeah.

Palo Alto. That's where all the problems are coming out of. Yeah, it's where all the problems are coming from. And that where you guys made Sam Oatman and a Petri Dish? No, Peter Thiel was my mother and father. Oh. Oh, that's nice. That's awesome.

That makes sense. No wonder he's secreting so much. He's both. It's a greeting? Yeah. Why do you say that? Because whenever I see him, and whenever I see him, he's pretty shiny. And I don't like shiny guys.

What just happened? Because whenever I see Peter Thiel, I think of you. Thank you. I don't know how to teal about that. Go ahead, Andrew. Go ahead. Oh, I'm more of a thinker than a talker, so you guys keep going. Some people say you're Andrea more than a thinker.

Who said that? That's my... You tell me. It's the beeping. Poison plot in chewing gum found. That is, yeah. A woman finds sample on home steps deadly enough to kill dozen persons. Wow, so someone just left poison gum.

This feels like something they would tell you about trick-or-treating when I was a boy. That's actually not about it. It just scatter poison gum around if you want to kill a group of people. What a crazy thing to say and just like, look. What a crazy thing to say and then look at a crazy thing to say and then look to me to be like, right? I have a place. I was thinking a country

where we could scatter it. I swear to God, if you're, if you, if you say Palestine, you are so canceled. Jesus Christ. It's a gumicide. You can see Andrew thinking.

What's going on in this big head of mine? There you go. There you go. Shaking around. Sacramento, what authorities believed to be a plot to poison an entire neighborhood was discovered by police tonight

when four sample sticks of chewing gum left at the home. This guy was going to kill. Oh, okay. Of Miss Georgia McKenzie were found to contain a deadly poison. Yeah, she was, you knew her. I just want to say right now.

I like how they are still, the use of passive voice seems to transcend time. I guess it's always been a thing. Like, yeah, it is. Like, dumb was found, is believed. Believe by who? Yeah, who believes it?

No, they do a very good job. If you found gum on the ground, Andrea, eating it? I'm trying to think of us. I'm trying to think of a situation where I wouldn't. Okay, Dave. I'm coming up short. I will eat anything edible that's on the ground. All right, let's play a quick game.

My mother. Oh. Yeah, I mean, yeah. What about a sleeping guy? I would eat a sleeping guy. Yeah, yeah. Let's play a game. Did my mother take this home and want to cook it?

Lettuce that she found on the street, but it was opened but in a bag. Absolutely took it home and wanted to cook. Andrea? Wait, this is something real that happened. Well, did it? That's the question. I'm making it up or is it real? Yes, it is real, but I'm just, for some reason, having a hard time imagining Wisconsin having lettuce.

It feels like a cheese. She's, wow. She's English. This might have happened in California if it happened. Oh, then yes. Okay, then yeah, definitely. This is recent? Yeah, this is probably in the last five or six years.

Okay, well, yeah, the way you're talking about it, really. And we made her throw it out. Can I say something else? You said cook it? Well, she wanted to use it for dinner. Okay. Yeah. She wasn't going to cook the lettuce.

I mean, the only way to get the street off it. You've got to boil it. That's the English. That's like the Mary Popin solution for cooking in England. You've just. Boil it, it'll get all the flavor out. Just boil it. Your kids there will not chow.

Yeah, you're done. Yeah, I get why you're the way you are now. It's all making sense. Right? What do you mean by that? No, she's right. I don't know. What does that mean?

I was hoping someone of ice might. It's just you and Dave. I would just like to say, we don't know exactly what she meant, but she also nailed it. It's weird. It feels like that. It's what I didn't mean. That's right. What's going on between the notes?

Shit, I got to keep that in the back pocket. It's like jazz. I'm going to say that a lot. Similar sticks of gum were found on the steps of adjoining houses, but an analysis for poison. Someone definitely ate. Someone definitely chewed the gum. And then we'll not, wait a minute.

Who's the Great Depression? They couldn't afford it on their own. And also, what? Are we pretending like the gum fairy doesn't exist? What? who throws gum on your doorstep in the morgue? You wake up and there's gum on your doorstep. The gum fairy was doing a nice thing.

I don't think so. I don't know about that fairy. Similar sticks of gum. Wait until you hear this. Similar sticks of gum on the steps of adjoining houses were found on the gyps of adjoining houses. But an analysis for poison in them will not be completed until tomorrow. So did they not do any analysis on this gum? There's a chance that this neighborhood just turned its nose up at free gum.

We don't know yet. Thank you. Why are they going with the poison gum headline before we even know what the hell's happening? Miss McKenzie, a divorcee, said she found the gum. This feels like a Trump, like something he'd be saying in a rally, like trying to, like, convey. And none of them chewed the gum. By this time this comes out, Trump could be done. Yeah, I think he's gone.

I said, I meant to say gum. No, but Trump chewing his gun is awesome. Because that literally could happen. That's how it ends. That's where he's at brainwise. The president passed away from accidentally killing himself while trying to chew a gum. A gun.

Okay. Burr T. Snyder, city chemist, completed an analysis of the chewing gum and announced each of the four sticks in the sample packages contained enough poison to kill a dozen people. Okay. How big are these people, though? Yeah, he overpoisoned.

And how big is the gum? That's a weird question. The poison, a white powder, so this is like on Wrigley's... So you just put it on there? On Wrigley's gum, there's like a little white powder. You gotta put, you gotta get, you gotta cover the poison tracks. You know, just sprinkle a little poison on the gum and then be like, there we go. You've got to dust it.

I'm dipping it. Some gum has a little white powdery outside on it. Yeah, like Wrigley's. Yeah. Which is popular at this time. Yeah. I'm saying someone just put Rigglies down and they decided it was poisoned. Where have you been?

this whole episode. I've been right here. I'm glad you spoke up. The poison of white powder had been carefully spread over the gum and then covered with the powdered sugar that is usually found on gum. That's what I was saying before I let you get it out. This isn't

poison. This is just gum. That's what he said too before he tried to poison this neighborhood. I like that you're bringing out that that's what he said. That's what he said. I just came up with that. Also, I I find it interesting that it's time.

Time's up for this guy also. Can I say that? That's what he said. Uh-huh. You know, that's right. So he's trying to poison an entire neighborhood, but they're only talking about four pieces of gum. So this is how bad, this is how dire things were,

is that they were splitting the gum up? Or is this a neighborhood of four? Or did some of the people die, and we just don't know yet? Also, is this the kind of neighborhood where when you find a dead person, you look in their mouth, take the gum out that they've been chewing

and put it in your mouth. It's cool that you took what she said and made it psychotic. Good work. Good punch up. The package in which the gum was contained was a small brown envelope on which the word sample had been typewritten.

All right. Now, I was thinking they were like they had great discernment. By the way, great gum. Discernment. That could be good. All right, I'll hang in there and keep going. But also, that's not how you poison people.

You don't put gum in a brown envelope. Sample. Sample. Just from the bushes, just from the bushes, just watching. They seem to be suspicious again. Every house here is pretty suspicious. Honey, this sample gum out on the doorstep again. Just eat it this time.

It's clearly from Rigglies. It's got a handwritten sample on the outside. It's from Mr. Riggly himself. Another letter from Don Wrigley. Is there a Mr. Tray? These try my new gum. This is not poison. Chew it a bunch. Make sure your neighbors do too. Signed Donald Wrigley. Identical envelops were found at two other houses on the same block.

I mean, it's not poison. All the other houses have it too. Clearly, Don Wrigley just went around the neighborhood, gifting us with his new sample. A warning to beware of similar sample packages of gum was broadcast. over the radio by police. Wanting. Wanting. They might be gum. Do not eat gum. Wanting.

Well, yeah, you're supposed to chew it. Yeah, that's true. Well, although I would eat it when I, I ate it for a long time. I ate a lot of gum when I was a kid. And then, like, one of my teachers was like, it's crazy. And then I thought, for forever, I thought it's crazy. And then eventually I'm kind of back to like, I don't care. It doesn't matter if he'd gum.

I mean, we are literally, this is the point Dave makes to me on the road all the time. Here we go. I'm making your point. Get ready. So. Box. He will, I'll be like, I'm gonna, it'll be like, why are you doing all this working out? It's all ending soon anyway and I'll be like, no, that's tough.

I don't say that. You say stuff like that. I know I don't. Don't you want it to end more pleasantly, like with a boom rather than a prolonged ah? That's a good point. It's a weird way to ask such a profound question. It's kind of the point that I've been making. It is a profound question.

I just am really scared. I took a CPR first aid class because they offer them for free. And I was like, this will be an easy thing to do that will make me feel good. Okay, now you're taking out your phone. You're like, phone time. No, I put my phone down. Oh, you were locking in. I'm locking in.

Anyway, we learned how to identify a stroke victim, like if someone's having a stroke. And afterwards, I became so convinced that I was having a stroke. Like, I would wake up in the middle of the night and be like, I can't feel my arm. And so now my boyfriend says I'm not allowed to take any more classes for a while. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I can't sleep. I definitely have a stroke. Have you ever done competitive CPR? Oh, yeah.

That's great. Yeah. They're trying to get into the Olympics. Come on, hurry. I need this. Divorce in odd affair weds again. Oh. We're done with the gum story?

Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Wow. You wanted more? I felt like very completely. I wanted to know what neighborhood it was in. Oh, yeah, they should have said that. Hmm.

I know if they're still alive or not. Someone definitely ate the gum. Some of the neighbors still there. Definitely. For instance, it's Luke who helps us on our show. Oh, I know Luke. Or I've heard of Luke. My friend was just hanging out with him.

Yeah. What do you mean hanging out with him? Go on. My friend's in town and she's like, oh, I'm going to meet my old friend Luke. And then, and she was like, he, he, he, he, He hangs out with Dave and Gareth, and I did a spit take. I went, uh, nice. That's what you do it.

How does your friend know Luke through what? They went to Emerson together. Garrett, did you go to Emerson? Who's your friend? I went to, yeah, I went to Emerson. Who's your friend? You know her, Zeff, Elizabeth Zephyrene McDonough. Yeah, I know Elizabeth Zephyrne McDonough.

Oh, great. Well, she's in town. It doesn't seem like she wants to hang out with me. She wants to hang out. Weird Luke, who opens fish cans in the van. Go ahead. What type of fit? The worst Swedish fish.

Everyone online is like, don't open this inside. It's like the greatest thing that I'm right. Is it coming in all? No, but Dave does. I just want to say it and be very explicit about this. Zeph does not want to see you when she's out here in the West Coast. She does not. Absolutely does.

Dave locked himself into the bathroom for a half hour. Go ahead. What do you mean? Why? Are you okay? The door knob came off. It might be a stroke. So I was stuck in there because it was.

Is that a sign of a stroke? When I put it back out, it was just stripped. Based on my understanding, everything is a stroke. That's exactly right. That's exactly right. But anyway, I was trying to make the point that that's why I try to take care of my bodies because I really don't want the rest of my life to be as a stroke victim. My father had a stroke.

Really? Yeah, it feels like you're attacking my dad and me. I'm sorry. I didn't even know you had one of those. A dad? Yeah. Everybody has a dad. I don't.

Some more than others. Dave has a dad. Dave's dad. My dad was killed. My dad was killed. My dad was murdered. I have you on. I showed it to you yesterday.

I put it on Instagram. You saying you killed my father. I put it on Instagram. He faked his dad. He killed my father. Dave's father for insurance money. Hold on. On video.

We got to stick to the podcast. I put it on Instagram. You admitted it. We have to stick to the podcast. What did I read? right back. I don't remember. I don't listen to your lives.

But what happened was Dave's dad faked his own deaths for insurance money. And now he's in, now he's living in Michigan. And he started a landscaping company. He's never looked better. He stopped drinking. He wants to meet back up with Dave.

But Dave keeps doing this whole thing about how I killed his dad. It's so stupid and none of the fans think that it's... You said quiet loser. Yeah. That's what you answered me. Totally real. How did they get the insurance money? Wait, wait, wait.

They call me, come out swinging, Anthony. You know what they call it your dad? Come out swinging. My father's dad. I know. Believe me. Yeah, you killed him. I know.

I can't tell if it's real. It's real. I feel like the insurance claims adjuster right now. I don't know if it's real or not. Dave, and let's just say this, Andrea. Dave will be seeing his dad again very soon. Jesus Christ Fuck this just took a turn

Really upsetting Andrew Which one of your dogs Would you Leave her dogs out of this If you had to kill and eat one Which one would you kill in? Oh definitely Sonia

But Why don't they just came into the picture? Look I'm just going to say A real A true dog on her Knows which dog they would kill and eat first Yeah I would eat and kill Sonia And without being

you know, made to. Yeah. Okay. That's, now that's a crime. That's a crime. Of passion. A passion.

Yeah, it is a crime of passion. And a hunger. Divorced. Yeah, you could just be hungry. There's no, there's no reason why you can't just eat your dog. There are many reasons. Laws. Or gum.

Principles. Yeah. What's the interesting to dog and gum? There's a thousand differences. I won't even start listening. One's more chewy, but I won't say which. Oh, my God. I think I know which.

And what is poisonous? Why? But I won't say which. The pastimes is brought to you by hymns. Oh, baby. If something has been off in the old bedroom, you're not the only one. You're not alone in this. A lot of guys end up waiting a little too long to take action.

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Does that make sense? Yeah, babe. That makes sense. Yeah, babe. Dvorcee in odd affair wedds again. Okay. Miss Gladys Baker Inman, who more than a year ago, divorced Reverend Sharon Inman. Is your dog stitching the old-fashioned way right now?

She has tap shoes on him. Are you doing some sort of folly work over there with dog paws? Okay, my dog's tail often functions as a metronome, and that's what was happening, but he's embarrassed him, so he's out of frame now. Good. Who the fuck shames a dog? That's the one I eat. That fucking loud tail one. He's just,

he's, that dog's just trying to mind his own business. He's coming through a tap shoes. That dog sounded like his paws were miced. A top hat. That dog could not have sounded fully and like eight miced more. Oh, no he wants to say hello again.

Oh, there he is. I've seen that face many times. That dog's all over Instagram. You'll get to know. Okay. Yeah. Showing tail?

I don't know. Showing tail. He shows tail. Miss Gladys Baker, I'mann, who more than a year ago, divorced Reverend Sharon Eman, Presbyterian pastor, after the failure of a gallantly modern attempt to preserve her home by inviting her husband's sweetheart to share it. Okay. So she invited another guy into the house.

No. I think she, I think she. I think she. I think she invited his mistress in. I think that this is a Polly situation. Oh. Is it three? The Holy Trinity?

Is it three Polly? Yeah. Is three Polly? No, three would just be. No, that's a party. Three could be Polly. Is it Polly? Yeah.

Okay. I don't know. I don't know that. I mean, Andrea has literally just left and gone to play with a dog. She's just gone. She's like, I'm going to play with my dog now. And off she goes. Yeah, it's Polly.

The door closes. What? Well, my Pollycule was waiting outside and I had to let them in. You know, I started Polly PollyPolly Market where you place bets on which couples are going to open their relationship up. Oh, that's a great idea. That was very funny and clever, Gareth. Dave's laughing really hard if you can see his game. Not on the inside or outside.

I'm in a polycule, but none of us have had sex in years. I think that's a friend group. The best poly relationships are the dead bed polychule. A dead bed polychule is the way to go. A dead bed polychule. Yeah, that's the way to go, yeah. Okay, so after the failure, yes, back to the news. So after the failure of an agalletly modern attempt to preserve her home by inviting her husband's sweetheart to share.

So is the Hail Mary? So, yeah, she's trying to keep the marriage together. By bringing the mistress in. Yeah. Yeah. That always works. Was married here today to Clifford Farmer of Willard, Missouri, 35-year-old farmer and newspaper. He's a farmer who's a farmer and newspaper magazine writer.

Okay. The strange situation in the Inman home was disclosed last spring when the preacher and the girl, Miss Pat Holdridge. Don't love the girl part. Left together. It's not a great way to say. Don't love that. Because it could, yeah. Would you rather it's a team?

I'm not going to answer your question. I think you should. That's an answer. The two. It's like a Chris Hanson question. Would you rather it have 17? Have you ever seen the one where Prince Hanson came in and this tennis like you, what are you doing here? And the guy's like, I would just meet the girl.

And it turns out the kid said he was older, but he was actually 16. He's who's meaning a girl is age. So that guy literally just went there for lemonade. I met Chris Hansen. I'm trying to get Chris Hansen on next we have so badly. Because he's still doing the show. I know. He's still doing the show just like on his own now and he's cooking.

He is good. Like people are watching it? Yes. He's still doing because the whole thing with that one was it was like, you know, well, there was some weird shit that happened, I think. There was some, but people were like, It's entrapment and all that with gum. But you were like, this is, we're okay with this.

It's entrapment, but I'm okay with that entrapment. I don't want to like start pulling the threads on law. But as an older male, there's not a lot you could do except maybe put a gun to my head or kill my child to make me go to fucking. The show cops ruined a generation of people's brains on law on cops. Yeah, it did. But this, I'm okay with this one. I'm okay with this one.

And I'm, and no, cops is really bad. And also when that guy just sits there and houses a pizza, that's one of the greatest moments in television history. Chris Hanson's like, so you came here to meet a 14 year old? The guy's just like, eats an entire pizza. What would you do? That's the last pizza you're going to have for a long time. He must have known.

He was like, if I present calm, they're not going to arrest me. So I'll do what any man in this situation does. I'll eat an extra large pizza alone in 20 minutes. I could do that. Andrew, you've gone quiet. What's going on? She was on. I think someone has to take the other side just for it to be an interesting conversation.

So that's kind of what I'm doing. Yeah, no, I get it. Someone's got to stand up for the guys trying to fuck teens. The little guy. Yeah. One guy killed himself. I didn't want to mention it. But you know what?

Okay. You went to fuck a 15-year-old. Fuck off. Andrea, counterpoint? I don't understand why they always have to do it in the kitchen. Right. It should be in the bedroom. Okay, we're back to the paper.

Go, Dave. Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. Hurry.

Read anything. I'll make up a headline. That's a writer's mind over there. I'll literally make up a headline. right now if you don't start reading. Man eat cigarettes for charity. Come on. Let's go. Two young women attended the Southwest Missouri State Teachers College together

while Ms. Holdridge lived in the Inman home. Jesus Christ, next article. We're doing that. It's definitely bad. After the Edmund divorce, Mr. Inman and Ms. Holdred were married. So this is a happy story. Everyone got married to other people. The original wife is now married and happy.

And the young, whatever she is, 13. married the other guy. You don't know. Why would you say 13? Oh shit. Ms. Farmer has two children. She was mature for her age, though. She was actually closer to 15.

Thank you. Oh, my God. Ms. Farmer has two children. Lowell Inman 12 and Danis Inman 8. Question. Mr. Farmer has one son. Why did they name them that? Go ahead.

How did this become a story? Like, was there a neighbor who was like, this is what I think is happening? Can you publish it? or did a member of the polycule, this LA polycule, leak the story to a reporter? Like, how did this very... I think it's gossip. I think it's gossip, yeah.

Although it seems like we have confirmation. So maybe they were like, yeah, this is what we're doing. Yeah, this is a non-story. That's what they're saying to the reporter. This is a non-story. Yeah, this is a non-story. This is called inclusivity. And I'm here for it.

The interesting part of the story to me is when the wife is being cheated on, she goes, well, just invite her to live here then. And then he does. I mean, you probably just don't want to pack up boxes. He wasn't great with like sarcasm. Yeah. Like I think she said it like, well, why don't you invite her over? So I talk to my wife.

This actually went a lot better than I thought it would. She took it pretty good. Yeah. So do you want to come live with them? this? What she do? Oh yeah, of course I was serious. Why don't we just bring her into the bedroom? Come to find out, she just has kind of like a speech thing where she sounds like that and she was being earnest this whole time. Yeah. Why don't you rail her and I'll go down on your bum? Okay.

Oh, no. I can't believe I've married the only man who's deaf to Now I got to do it. He was from the war. God, he doesn't understand hyperbole. Well, you did say you would eat my ass, Gladys. Oh, Jesus. Robinson has appendix still. Okay.

Physician attending. Robinson. Oh, okay. As in Caruso. Physicians attending William Albert Robinson. American writer and explorer stricken by appendicitis while on a honeymoon voyage in the remote Galapagos Island. Honeymoon voyage is where you're hunting for a wife, just so you know. Yeah.

In the remote Galapagos Island. Yeah, my wife, I married the most giant beautiful turtle. She'll outlive me, but that's okay. She looks incredible for 186. She's a beauty. Oh, she's got a hook on her foot. Oh, you got to take it there. No one here wanted to envision a turtle with a hook in his foot.

But then you take it out. I was already envisioning it. I was already envisioning it, so it was sort of like a hat on top of a hat. That's a, it makes me miss Dave's complaint. A lot of people miss my complaint. A lot of people are calling me new Dave. Yeah, I saw that. Old Dave faked his death for the insurance money.

Yeah. Now he's living with his dad on a farm. In Michigan. shirtless giving each other belly high fives. That's where they run into each other's tummies in the air. It's to stay warm. Hey, can you not do the weird incest stuff with me and my dad? It's platonic.

It's not incest. You guys are celebrating bailing hay. Look, a dad, a dad, two adult father's son combo rubbing their tummies together is inherently inherently sexual. Running and jumping like it's top. It has something to do with the automobile bringing that industry back.

You're in Michigan. It's not sexual. That's exactly. The fuck does that do it? Bringing the automobile industry back. You're hoping it'll attract kind of like cool carmakers. Hold on. By running around with our stomachs out.

Dave, Dave, Dave. Hey, buddy. You're not running around. No. Let me talk to you. You guys just fixed the hot rod. You're excited about it. That weekend, you're going out of the.

the town to meet chicks together. In a purely celebratory jump belly bounce, you guys, you've had your shirts off, you're all oiled up, you run towards each other, and you make eye contact, and you know this is not a high-five situation. This is a mid-air one of those. And you guys do one of those. I guess my problem is that you have us coming.

Yeah, well, how would you not? Dave, you need this win. Dave, Dave, Dave, this is a huge win for you, Dave. That doesn't even make sense. Dave, you're down and out. You need this more than you know. You know what you two say after the belly come? Tell him.

You look at each other and you go, we needed this. Yeah, that is exactly right. That is exactly right. Go ahead. But that is exactly what's going on. I just said this. And then your dad puts his arm around you and then he musses up your hair. But we're behind you for this shot.

Son's kind of coming down and he musses up your hair and you kind of shake it off. But then you kind of go back into him a little. We know you guys are having a good time. When you get in the house, when you get in the house, you're having more fun. He's being a writer and an actor on a TV show. Yeah. Well, you're fucking, yeah, that's what she means. You're down and out.

Things are terrible now. Okay, so. That's awesome. Doctors disclosed today They had not been able to remove his diseased appendix. Oh, right. So it would be a bad honeymoon.

It would be. But you got to see the turtles. You know, she was probably like, you've been really in a bad mood the whole time. He's like, let's go do the rock climbing thing today. Firebelly. Can I say something?

Yeah. Sorry if this sounds like anti-science. Seems like removing an appendix, one of the easier things to do as a doctor. Yeah. How do you know that? Well, I mean, the year is 1933.

1933 feels like they would know. Andy, what is dabbling in being a doctor mean exactly? That's what RFK is doing. Being like a CNA or something. So you, okay. she dabbles in it. I think that's fair. Do you think that's fair?

Yeah, a lot of people are dabbling now, and we've never had more measles. Okay. So you're welcome. That doesn't sound like it backs it up. I like going into a place being like, can I touch the surfaces? That's exciting.

Life's exciting again. You go into a crowded room and you go, wow, should I be breathing? That's awesome. But you're not going to get measles if you're vaccinated against measles, right? True. That's why I've got a vaccine.

You're revealing something right now. No, it's that I took a vaccine to get rid of the vaccine. Oh, yeah. Cash Patel sells it on his website. You could get the vaccine to take the measles vax out of you. I would, but it's like you have to spend $49 to get free shipping, so I haven't done it yet. Yeah. So worth it, though.

But the unvax is really good. It's, oh, my God, de vaxing. Naval officers who flew from the canal zone to the islands. I call it a vaccident. Ha! Go ahead. That should trend though. Sorry, I was reading. No, I know, but that was a good joke.

I needed to get it out. That was really great. I know, but the joke was working. No one knows how to spell it. We'll fix it in post. Go ahead, babe. Naval officers who flew from the canal zone to the islands where Robinson lay aboard

his tiny honeymoon catch merely made an incision to drain off the poison. It was explained. Wow. Wait, so it just leaks poison in there? Yeah, that's what it is. But I knew, but I thought it just leaked poison when it broke.

Yeah. Oh, that's what I thought happened. Oh, so maybe it's broken. I think it's, yeah, I think it broke. Don't you die fast when you're a panic's bursts? Yeah, it's not great. So they just went in there like, all right, let's make a hole. Yeah.

And then they were like, oh, shit. And then they pulled it out. Yeah, you got to hurry. This guy's, this guy had to have died. Well, eventually it was 1933. So that would be a hundred. Definitely no longer with us. 33.

Definitely no longer with us. I heard that he, I mean, I heard that he actually died of a broken heart. the appendix. Oh, shit. Really? That's crazy. That's what they say Dave's dad died from the first time,

even though it was fake. So. Heartbroken. It's not funny. I mean, you snickered. Or that or your daughter was running or something. It's like one of those things

where you laugh through your nose. You're like... Do it again? Between 1928 and 1931. He circumnavigated the world. Who did? This guy. This guy did?

Later on the same ship, he sailed to the Galapagos Islands to shoot a nature film, but suffered a perforated appendix on the spot. While recuperating, he lost his yacht to Ecuador. He settled in Tahiti. Wow, that is a life. Wow. That's awesome. Settling in Tahiti is the end.

He lived. I love that Ecuador is like, yeah, we're going to take that. If you settle in Tahiti, no problem. Where is Tahiti? Anyone know? Is it real? Is it like Atlanta? Dave, your thoughts.

I think it's right next to Haiti. That's a good point. It's fair. Farmer loses Ford suit for lifetime job. Filo M. Farmer loses Ford suit. Ford suit. Like a Henry Ford cost.

Why didn't you say so? Yeah. That's my point. Philo M. Lossing, a 85-year-old Calcosca County farmer. Calca used to be the better Sam's Club back then. Go ahead. Farmer who said he sold two prize oxen to Henry Ford at a bargain price in return for a lifetime job for caring for them.

Today lost his suit for 25,000, which he claimed for back wages. Okay. But Henry Ford could afford. this so he should just give it. I'm sorry, Henry Ford could, what? Henry Ford could afford to give away that money, so he should. So I don't really care if this guy is lying. Does have a Hamilton cadence.

Also, he wasn't, he was like an actual antiques, could afford. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are we doing right now? The great Henry Ford, come on. Henry Ford? The car, we're talking about the carmaker, Henry Ford.

He was a good guy. Yeah. That's better. What the fuck just happened? You're thinking of Pontiac. He's thinking of John Pontiac. Yeah. John Pontiac was the anti-Semite.

I tell you what. If you're going to make a car, if you're going to make cars that nice, it's okay to be a little. Pontiacs, I agree. Nazi-ish. Pontiac is a luxury automobile. How do we get Volkswagen? How do we get BMW? Do they make Ponyaks still?

They don't make them. I'm making Ponniacs. I feel like all cars should be named after Native American people. Completely agree. Yeah, I hear they eat every part of the car. Oh, that's it. Thanks, everybody. That's the episode.

That's the episode, everybody. I said I heard it. I didn't say I saw it. That's the end of this one. Jamie, is that true? I'm looking up right now. Run it through AI? AI says, that's an excellent point.

Amazing job. Great job. Andrea. Well done. Well, right. It's official. Okay, so I don't really understand this. He sold his oxen to Henry Ford.

Yeah, and Henry Ford said he was going to give him. Give him a job to take care of him. Yeah. It's just a weird transaction. Well, it's like, you know, it would be. Yes. Henry Ford buys them, and then the guy's like, the only differences, they're yours. I'll still take care of him.

And Harry Ford was like, okay. And he's like, yeah. and you'll pay me. Yeah, and he was like, yep. And he's like, idiot, old man. Lawson said he was promised. Why does Henry Ford want or need oxen? Did his car break down?

He was sick of horsepower. Good job. We'll be right back on the bubblegum rapper joke podcast. Bubblegum joke rocker podcast has brought you a ragged money. Lawsing said he was promised a lifetime job caring for the two animals when he sold them to Ford for $300. The price he asserted was only the beef value while the oxen were valued highly as exhibition animals.

An 85-year-old man, he only paid me the beef value. That's for the meat part. But there's also the exhibition rate. They're looking oxen. The judge was just like, and we're done here. He only paid the beef wage. The beauties.

You're making fun of him. Meanwhile, his body is probably still warm. Wow. What do you mean? I don't know. Are you talking about the ox? Were you listening to the story or did you just say something you thought would save that at the end there? I feel like you're petting your dog and you just have like, are you making origami right now?

I feel like you have poetry magnets on the table and you're just like piecing them together and saying that whatever you come up with. You're just shaking them. It's a limerick. I don't believe it to be a limerick. There once was a limerick from Nantucket. That's how it starts. minute. No. No, no, that would be, what is the guy's name? Henry Ford. Yeah. Oh, that's it.

Minute makeups by VV. Always use a vivid lipstick with dark glasses. Colored glasses in the summer are apt to dominate your face and make it expressionless. Draw attention to your mouth with lipstick and you will find that your face has a mysterious, veiled appearance that is a peeling. That is ad is 100% written by a man. It's not an ad. It's just a lady's advice. No, that's the lead. It's 100% written by a man. Do you, Andrea, do you wear... Ladies, highlight your mouth. Don't be stupid. Get that mouth out there. Especially if you got the glasses on. The glasses are covering up your face. Let's see the mouth.

Do I wear babies? Maybe it's Maybeline. Of course I wear vivid. Do you wear vivid lipstick when you have on dark glasses? It depends on who I'm following that evening. That's fair. Do you? It's a wild. Yes. The darker the lipstick, the more vivid, the darker my glasses, the more vivid my lipstick. Like, I'll do like a fluorescent pink.

But the more darker the glasses. Fluorescent pink? Do you say you wear dark and you said fluorescent pink? If I have really dark glasses. It's a dark fluorescent. Pink, yeah. It's a dark fluorescent pink. Or a bright yellow.

You can barely tell. I might do a bright yellow lipstick. I look like I ate a glow stick at a rave. I don't want anyone to know what I'm up to. I'm starting to get into raves. Maybe go back to the paper. And you're big raver, right? Um, yes and no.

By the way, that's not an answer. Jelly cheese salad. Trying to eat healthy. Is that a former rapper turned country singer? Two tablespoons. granulated gelatin, four tablespoons cold water, one cupful water,

boiling. So far, okay. So far we're jello. One half cupful Adhor Creme cheese. That's where you lose me. One half cup of... Actually, I'm still in.

One half cupful genuine roquefort. Two... Roquefort? What's Roquefort? Cheese. Okay. Two tablespoons lemon juice. One half full teaspoonful...

One half full teaspoonful salt. one half teaspoon full of paprika, one cup full dice celery, two tablespoons chopped green peppers, two tablespoons chopped pimentos, one cupful whipped cream. Now bad.

It's bad. What the fuck are you doing with whipped cream on this? It was close. You know why I could never make this? Because I would see two tablespoons lemon juice and I'd accidentally do two teaspoons lemon juice. That's why,

that's what your, that's your bump in this? With everything I just listed, that's the thing? Not enough level. Well, I just, I always mess those up and I take the wrong spoonful. I do agree. I do agree. I often have to go, can't remember, this one's a tablespoon. Yeah, because everything's abbreviated. Yeah. I don't like it. They should come up with a completely different name for it.

It was the Great Depression. Get spoon out of there. They couldn't afford to spell out everything. So it was probably like, tipospoon. All right, let's play true or false. My mother brought a spoon home that she found on the ground. Yes. That was, it seems very reasonable because you just wash it and that way you can eat your lettuce. His mom's a hobo. She didn't, but she thought about it strongly.

She told you that. I haven't heard the word hobo in so long. I think we need to bring that back. My mother is a hobo. Your mom has a stick with the. Bindle stick. Yeah. She's all, yeah.

She tosses it into the train and she's like, whoo, go to keep up. So your mom can. came home from a walk and told you she saw a spoon and really thought about bringing it home. Yeah, that's a mouthful. And she didn't. And when she didn't, easy. And when she didn't, I said, good. Because you know who drops a spoon on the ground?

Hobo. Someone who's probably using heroin. And she went, oh, I hadn't thought of that. What if I'm sorry? So you don't want her getting free heroin. That stuff's expensive now. I don't want her getting spoons from the ground. And yeah, as a matter of fact, I don't want her on heroin.

I mean, you saw what Dave's fucking dad went through. Dave's dad had to fake his own death so that they could belly jump on a farm together. You're clearly not a raveer. In this podcast, we played where you admitted to killing my father. Your dad's alive, dickhead. He did a bad job killing him. He's never been better. He's doing clap pushups.

Five cent beer hopes dashed by Brewers. Is that a Fresno? Consumers would like to get their... You don't need to tell me. Beer for five cents of glass. Fresno has always been what it is now then as well. Even then Fresno is like... It's never stopped being Fresno.

Consumers would like to get their beer for five cents of glass and the brewers would like to be able to provide it at that price, but it can't be done. Okay. This is a weird story. It's not a story. Yeah, the story is like, no, do a fantasy. So nothing happened.

Yep. This is the declaration of M.M. Cone of San Francisco, Secretary of the California State Brewers Association, the present federal and state taxes of $5.62 a barrel and high cost of ingredients making it possible for brewers to sell beer at a price that will put it on the retail market for five cents a glass. Approximately 40 brewers attended the meeting. One of them, Jim. At which various problems of the industry, including standardization of, prices and other similar matters were discussed. Dave.

That was not a story. That was literally not a story. The only highlight is when Andrea whispered into the microphone with a sigh, I wish I could help. Softly to herself. You want to be able to help. What do you want to help them? You want to help these 1934 brewers get it down to five sets of glass? Who do you want to help?

Do you want to help the brewers? She don't even know if she just wants to be. She wants it to do. be inserted into the situation like some type of, just like some micklebe time traveler. Are you, are you upset that there's

called Miller time machine? Are you upset there's conflict and you want to solve it? Yeah, she feels bad for everyone. I love healthy competition and it hurts my heart when they can't give a consumer what they want, but they want to, but they can't.

We've talked about many awful things in this paper. This is the one that's got you. Beer's not five cents a glass? She's just unrazzling. There was a thruple with a teen. They all worked it out in the end. I don't think they did.

Well, that's not the story I heard from Dave. This one was the one that pulled at your heartstrings. I just wish I could get back there. I just think this one had really good intentions all around, and I want to see all my friends get along. Who are your friends in today's world? Are you talking about those friends that you don't have back then? My friends back then were are still my friends today

because I'm a day oneer. I'm a die-hard friend and fan of the show. Thanks for having me. You're welcome? You're welcome. What happened? You're welcome. It's great that you hear.

Let it cook. I'm actually going to take the ladle away. The cooking's over. The stove is off. There will be no more cooking. Well, I found a spoon and some lettuce on the ground, so I'm actually going to continue cooking. Who wants heroin cabbage? Ooh, I find a way to eat lettuce.

There we are. I'm rejecting my lettuce. That's nice. As I'd watch the lettuce crawl up her arm. I think you should have chopped that more. Oh, it's fine. I like it thick. Also, who's just throwing a bag of lettuce on the ground?

Someone definitely dropped it. Someone definitely dropped it. We don't know. You dropped loose? Who drops lettuce and doesn't notice they dropped lettuce? You ever see a shoe on the ground? Just a single shoe and you go? Yes.

How? Okay, I was joking. I've never seen that. God damn, you walked right into that. You did too, dickhead. I was playing with her and you were the victim. Super weird stuff from Dave over here. I prefer the term survivor, but yeah.

Thank you. Baby falls into lie. All right, do the paper. That was before Hemingway's baby shoes. It was kind of like a creative writing contest. Yes. And that was the runner up. This is, of stock.

It didn't quite make sense. This is a Stockton one. This is a Stockton story, of course, because. Now, Andrea, you're probably going to feel a lot of empathy for this one. Where else would it happen? We'll see. Falling into a barrel of boiling lie. Well, this isn't going to go.

So now remember, you just heard a story about people trying to get beer down at $5. said it tore your heart apart. This baby fell into boiling lie. I haven't heard a thing about you wanted to get back there. Hold on. It's not a baby. That baby was no angel. Thank you.

Yeah, what was the baby doing? Wait. Okay. So, keep reading. Let's see if this. Why was the baby dressed like that? What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? It was a topless. It was a topless baby. You don't know that. And also, don't call a baby without a shirt, topless ever again. You want me to call it a clothed baby and lie?

Just say it doesn't have a shirt on. You don't call babies topless. I do all the time because I go to a strip club called topless babies. Oh, Dave, your camera's back. Dave, we'll be with you in one sec. Sorry. Five minutes. But it's a different day.

It's a different day. It's next guest, Dave. What's happening? Also, hi, Dave. Don't you worry about it. Dave, it's been a whole. thing. Hi, Dave. I guess we should wrap this one up.

Yeah, we got it. That's our sign to leave, Andrea. Wow. That's how we do it here. We literally have the next person come in and you're just gone. You're out. Why don't you, Dave, you'll stick around for this story. Dave, tell Dave, tell Dave, other Dave, this story and Andrea. And Dave, you tell me if you have any empathy for this baby, as you should. And then I'll tell you that Andrea feels no empathy for this baby. Okay, the headline is, baby falls into lie.

Falling into a barrel of boiling lie, Erita Espinoza, four years of age, not a baby. Doesn't matter. At this point, now she's a fucking liar. Suffered probably fatal burns today. Probably. She fell into boiling lie. I'm just doing the math because if this was 1933,

that four-year-old is like 20 for 1933 age. She's right. So yeah, definitely not a baby. Not a baby. Dave? I'm going to actually call her a hussy, but go ahead, Dave. Other Dave. Wait.

I'm going to now summon my second self. Why? Yep. Why do you have no empathy for the baby? Exactly. Sounds like a son of a bitch. Am I wrong? Wait.

Me? That's pretty dark. I don't know. Garrett, that's what you said, right? That Andrea has no sympathy for this baby. Yeah, Andrea and Dave are roasting this baby. I see. Okay.

I well I'm with Dave um day I'm with Dave a that um it's like wrong Dave to align yourself with names um that it's not a baby it's a four year old which in 1933 is like 20 oh I see thank you I see it still doesn't it's still not okay yeah yeah yeah it's still not a baby for today's time or for 1933 time all right well Andrea listen it's um it's been a tough ending to a great episode. It's so hard to say goodbye. Thank you for joining us, Andrea, and Dave.

Thank you. And Dave, Ross, and Dave Anthony. Oh, no, how I got in here. But it's good to see you, Andrea. Yeah, it's good to see you, too. How's New York? It's great. I love it.

This whole thing's like chat roulette. Thank you, Andrea. Appreciate it.