The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 172 - The Past Times with Katie Boyle

Episode Date: May 1, 2026

Dave Anthony reads a paper to co-host Gareth Reynolds and comedian Katie BoyleSOURCESTOUR DATESOFFICIAL MERCHHIMSSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to the past times. It's a podcast. Someone's finally doing it. You know what we do here each week. We go through a newspaper from a random date and history picked out by none other than Dave Anthony. I, Gareth Reynolds, have never seen it. And neither has this week's guest. The great Katie Boyle. Hi, Katie. Hi. How are you? I'm good. You just ran from the subway we heard. Yeah, from the Boston, Edinburgh. So, you're in Edinburgh. Yeah, we can't do this anymore. We don't work with people who are... How's it going? It's going good. I just hope that the guy that's also here doesn't like walk into the kitchen

and be middle of us. Who's he? You don't know. Yeah, my brother's roommate, but I've done before, but he's probably going to be like, what's going on? I'll be honest. You have great energy always, but I felt like something was a little off when you started.

Like, we did talk about gunpoint being maybe happening, but you're just afraid someone's going to walk in and you're ashamed of podcasting, as you should be. Yeah. Yeah, fair. No, but I also tried in the room and it wouldn't work, so I sent Alex a picture of it, but I think it was just a Wi-Fi. I don't know.

I feel like I'm in my 20s again, you know. Like weird Wi-Fi. I only have one plate. What is your, what's the show you're doing called? Where can people get tickets? We have a huge Edinburgh following. Oh, great. I don't mean that.

Oh, shit. But I'm sure we have a couple. I don't expect that. You guys. Yeah, we're doing great. I know. Yeah, but you have listeners so they can watch my special.

Called therapy. Yeah, but no, I'm in a monkey barrel. It's called Roevy Wade versus Katie. So that's an abortion, right? Classic. Well, we probably shouldn't get into that because we probably don't see Idaho. Dave and I are

well we're really happy with the way things shook out we're finally we finally repealed that awful awful law well that's great well good for you Katie well how long are you there the whole month just spire tree days

but yeah the whole time good Lord well good for you and then where and then where do you go after that back to the States yeah I've got shows mistakes and then one do you think you'll be getting

arrested at the border or what do you think you think you're going to make it through? He's a glass half full kind of guy just so you know maybe maybe when they hear about my shows about it I'm kind of at a tease do you get a little nervous when you cross the border now I got nervous when I was crossing the border 10 years ago

yeah that's right I'm bringing my friends as well Yeah, right. Yeah, so I love my path of destruction. Oh, that's wild. All right, well, look, Katie, what time is it there? It's probably supper time.

Yeah, well, so we'll let you get to your supper soon. Okay, so we're going to go, you've been here before, but we're going to go through this newspaper. It's going to be old, and we'll try to have some fun. So as the guest, you're allowed to guess what year you think this paper will be from. Remember, it's old. So go ahead. Then I'll guess.

And then you'll win. Sounds stupid, but we're doing it. 1880. Great guess. 1906. Dave? It is 1947. Whoa.

So a tie. Yeah. I won. It was a tie that. No, Katie. Katie won. It was the first person who says it wins. I mean, that was the rule.

It's not the rule. God damn. Congratulations to Kate. It is the Concord Monitor from Concord, New Hampshire, July 1st, 1947. Okay. Big day in American history. Sure. What happened, Gareth, on that day?

It's the day they made the best jam. That's right. Construction workers fight on scaffold. Oh, so John Wickean. It is. That's awesome. That is the best thing to see walking down the street ever. And I'm including the Beatles playing on top of that building in London.

I'm surprised someone hasn't turned this into an actual sport with pay-per-view and all that. Scaffled scuffles. Yeah. Scuffled. Yeah, they were Irish. They got to be, right? Have to be. Two Baltimore construction workers were recuperating today after a struggle on a scaffold

four stories above the ground before hundreds of onlookers. I mean, can I be honest? I'm let down by the story level. You were hoping for something better. Like 35. 35 stories. Four stories is not enough. No.

They can still die four stories. They can die for sure. They definitely could die. But I want the like Superman stakes. They could close them on the way down as well, you know. Yeah, there's just a lot of banging in the building they could do. The higher, the better. I've always said though.

But then then the viewers below can't see it as well. So you do have to have a happy medium. Okay, you might be right. I might have overshot storywise. I want 22. I want to be able to see it. I think it's like eight, honestly. I'm fine with eight.

four you're not happy with at all four i'm happy i'm happy i'm greedy i want to i want to be like oh my god these guys are going to die katy what's your what's your number i know i'm upset by that too if i'm being totally honest okay what's your number what's your floor number four's good all right because my eyesight you know i want to see okay yeah garrett doesn't care about gareth is like Gareth is a eugenesis he wants just perfect people and he doesn't care about eyesight or anything

Look By the way We keep my beliefs I'm genetic Off air And we always have Show us your jeans Show us your jeans

I'm not pulling the Sydney Sweeney No I'm not going to send me By the way That is what that That as that happened That was one of those things Where I like

heard it and ignored For like three days Until I was like What the hell is going on? And I like finally looked it up and I was like what? I was like, who cares? Like it's just a jeans ad. But I did I did like that out of that we found out that she's a right wing lunatic.

So that's good. Yeah, it's great. So tremendous. If people don't know, Sidney has been doing target shooting with two of the most horrendous, despicable cops, father-daughter team who have killed like four people, really just monsters.

But that's who she hangs out with. Anyway, the participants were, Edward Jones 41 who suddenly felt ill while chipping bricks on a downtown building yesterday and Warren Catherman 64 who swung himself up to the rescue on a boat swains chair. A boat swains chair? Wait, so they weren't having a fight, too, trying to save them. No, it's how one guy fell ill.

So maybe the same fight is. I thought the whole time it was... Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, it's really. This is how you do headlines, though, because I was like, oh, yeah, I want more. And I're like, wait, what? Like a senior citizen helped a sick guy on a beam?

Much different. When Catherine attempted to steady the dazed man on the wooden perch, Jones started frantically struggling. There we go. Catherine said he finally tried to knock Jones out to quiet him. That's the best. for her safety, I need to make this man go unconscious. I got to put him down. Yeah, I get it.

It has nothing to do with him texting my wife. Yeah, no. Completely unrelated. Just trying to beat a guy with a board. I'm doing this for your safety, Al. This is like all parents. Yeah, totally. You're for your own good, Kathleen.

and he needed the help of Jesse Walker 38 to hold him while firemen raised a ladder to take them all to the ground. Wow. It's a if this was like man, the setup off the headline like we were all ready to go. It was big. But the second I knew they both survived, I was kind of like, yeah.

We now finally have a sport that if you and I started, we could finally get on Rogan. Yeah, Dana White would be like, I'm interested. You can, yeah, you could have Connor McGregor do it and hopefully he falls. What are your thoughts on that? How popular is he in Ireland now? It feels like he's Trumpy. Is it pretty unified?

No, no, like it's a small minority. They just happen to be loud on it. X. But no, we don't, we don't like him. Okay. But it's okay because his Willie got released. So that's, they free Willie?

Yeah, but it looks, it looks gross. So that was great. That was great for the parish at home. Why does it look gross? What happened? I'll tell you right now, Dave. I'm looking it up.

It's wonky and he put weights on it. So it was a wonky, weighted Willie. Oh, whoa. What do you? What, who, why? Why would you, why would you, Wait up your dick.

Now wait. Are you seeing a bear penis? Yeah, yeah. It was on Reddit because he sent them to, what's her name, Alicia, something? And then she posted them. I sent it to a lady. Yeah, and then she posted them because he was being rude to her. You can't do both.

You can't send the dick and be a dick. You've got to, you're not all. You've got to be, once the dick sent, you've got to really lock it up. I don't put your head Don't put your head in there No head Never Oh oh

Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God Oh my fucking God This is What Now Okay hold

Oh my god It looks like It looks like a It looks like a rain stick Like they're trying to find water Now Oh my God Oh my God.

I can't unsee Connor McGregor's dick. Oh my God. Oh my God. Connor McGregor's dick is like a Muppet character. It looks like it's made for felt.

Are you seeing it? Now it's all blocked out where I'm looking. Dude, it looks like it's just very it's a decent size, but you're right. The curve is problematic.

And I won't get into it too much, but it's definitely, I don't know. You don't put your face on that one, as you said. You could send it, but you don't attach your face. They put their little, like, little weights on their dipples, you know. Ooh, look. So how do you know that he puts weights on his cock? It's in the picture. I don't see that.

There's like weights hanging up. care is just funny other dick picks and Connor McGregor I think I am oh no there's the weight one oh my God oh my God what is with him

oh the ads I'm you know you know you got a everybody has their own way to get a lady and he has his own special way you know he married

I mean she seems to give him quite a leash from uh yeah it seems to be she seems to just be willing to hang in there like a wait on a shlong through like court cases yeah through like rape and all and she's still like how i believe him oh god yeah he's in the closet with weights on his cock so he could do though he can wait who from your who from your country will play against him on the board in the sky. What's about scaffolding? Oh, who would be our,

who would fight Connor McGregor on the scaffold? I want to say I love the Irish term for a scaffold, which is bored in the sky. Board in the sky, by the way, that's being on the plane. Who is our best, who's our biggest dipshit? Who would go up there? You know it would be good.

Rogan would be good. It would also be good to send Joey Chess. not the hot dog eating champion up there and he could just take it down and won. Okay, but there's a new guy that my, he's not, he's an old guy, but my son, uh, showed me him yesterday and he's a guy who eats stuff, uh, like yeah, I watched him eat, uh, two cacti. So does he like a muckbanger? I don't know what that is, but, uh, he's a political party, he also put, he also put, uh,

milk out for a month and then drank it. So he just does stuff. he's called LA Beast and I would like him to take on Connor McGregor boy this really there's some guy who like leaves chicken outside for like a month and then

oh this guy yeah there's a bunch of guys to do this stuff yeah it's just it's we've crossed the Rubicon when it comes to like oh yeah information and like there's just been

too much information for too long so now people are like you don't need to poop Like there's just like a lot of like resistance to realities and and it's getting fun. We've got at that point where if you're like super weird and do whatever you want, that's cool. Like you're like, be you, but it's also someone to the other side where like you're like, I don't eat milk that's fresh. I wait until it's got.

Really bad. Well, you need a hook. It's like Connor McGregor's erect penis. There's a hook that you have to have a hook. and if everyone has a hook it's like the liver king like that guy you're like what anyway anyway anyway this isn't about the liver king or connor mcgregor's cock that he lifts weights with this is about two legends yeah hero the hero the old man is saved by he's my own isn't what do you say he was he was wow hey what he what how old was he oh yeah the guy the hero

He was a 64-year-old guy, 61-year-old guy, yeah. It's pretty old for, to be up there doing a brickwork on a scaffold, that's pretty old. Yeah. But in America, you work, they die, so that's... That's the point. In America, he'll die in four years. We've got a really good plan set up. Work till you get sick and you can't afford to fix it.

Missing. Yep. Yeah, well. Missing. Missing Girl found alive in Park area. I don't think they look too hard, but okay. Little Greta Mary Gale, Missing Since Sunday, was found alive today.

It feels like a fairy, like a nursery rhyme. Read it again even though it doesn't rhyme. Little Greta Mary Gale. Missing since Sunday. Had a Kai-she couldn't sail. Yeah, okay. Was found alive today in brush of the rugged, park area, a searching group informed the family.

The two and a half year old Greta, that's pretty young to just be on your own. Yeah. Yeah. She's lucky she didn't get eaten by a bear or a squirrel, even a squirrel. I don't think you know how parks or animals are working, but other than that, everything is says valid. Squirrels, if squirrels see a child, they will descend upon it. Sure.

Tony, to her family, dropped from sight Sunday while on vacation camping trip. Tony? How did you get the Tony with that first name? Greta. Greta, Mary Gail. Well, the name is complicated. A.k.a. Tony, A.k.a. Tony meatballs. She's Italian.

A.k.a.a. the Calzone kid. Also, you don't just go, you don't just go missing. She dropped from sight. They weren't paying attention. She wandered off. A two and a half year old doesn't drop from. She fell in a looney, tune hole. As so many kids, the epidemic.

Her grandfather, former U.S. Congressman John Tolan, 70, died from a heart attack last night, apparently induced by the shock and excitement. Oh, my God. So she killed her grandfather. He sacrificed himself. He made a deal with that guy who's a death, the death guy, you know, with the hood. And he came from Mary. Yeah, the Reaper.

The Reaper. The Reaper. And then. The death guy with the hood. He was a big. That's also Connor McGregor's penis. Okay, if we're going to get into it, the uncircumcised nature of the penis was also strange.

It did look like a worm trying to like molt. It was every part of it was tough. But the guy, you made a deal with death and saved the granddaughter's life. Well, you've got to like, I guess when you think about it, And like you have to be very careful with your, your emotional news with the elderly. You've got to be like, so something has, you can't be like, they found her. You have to be like, pop, pop. So there's an update.

And I want you to sit down and breathe a little bit. Yeah. And never mind, nothing. She's still missing. Where's Tony? The little girl was found by Jim Gaither. she was on a ridge about a mile from the cabin. Wow, just terrible parenting.

It's really about to do you say? It was the 40s. Yeah, exactly. It's just it was a simpler time. Found innocent. Walter Pettis was found innocent on a charge of was found innocent on a charge of passing a red light

and was ordered discharged following a hearing before Justice Stevens. This is an article in the paper about a guy going through a red light. They've had a good start, though. As far as papers we go through, this is at a good start. There's been like good stuff. I mean, they're reporting a Connor McGregor's penis in the 40s. This article is ahead of its time. Periodical.

But it's crazy that, like, imagine if you go through. through red light. And then just everyone's giving you shit about it. The paper? The paper? Like it's just insane. I read about what you did. Hey, stay away from my kid. Yeah, disgusting. Stay the fuck away from my kid. What did you do with telling me?

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It's a terrible name. Yeah, either way, it's a loss. I think it's actually, I think it's wittier. Whittier of Bethlehem handed the mock session a treat with an exhibition of rope twirling. All right, boys. Get ready to shit your pants with joy. Woo! This is...

This is... This is... This is... This is a different... This was a different time in Congress. Roep twirling. I didn't understand any of this. Who did the twirls?

Who did the treats? What happened? A congressman from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, in front of Congress, did rope twirling to entertain... And Congress is like, whoa. Whoa. Look at you.

And that's where the... That's where the congressional whip comes. from. Dave? Yeah, better. Have you heard the phrase DTM? He learned the business while serving in the armed forces on the Alaskan highway in Canada during the war with long hours and evenings on his hands and nothing else to do.

Wow. Don't even know what Roald-Thralin is. I think it's like lassoing and stuff like that. probably right Dave like oh okay okay I don't think you know the the postings what's it called Shanghai or you know the poster girl and she's with all the sheets like silky rope sheets and the legs are spread whoa all right now I'm back let's talk yeah right that's what I was thinking about you was up there with like satin sheets you know that sort of twirling I just went to look something up and I got to say Connor

McGregor's penis isn't far too many of my windows. I think it's literally you're just, you're just doing tricks with a rope and that's it. In a lap, yeah, you've seen it right and you can like jump through the row. You can jump through the lasso part. That's what I mean.

That's lassoing. I mean, I guess it's lasso. There's a lasso. To me means you're going and getting like a, it's the manipulating of a rope to create various shapes and movements often for entertainment or for performance. Yeah, it's lassoes.

It's lassoes and twirling and all that. You know, you're going through it a little bit. It's, it's very stupid. I mean, you're dark. Yeah, you're dark. Yeah, it's very stupid. The Australian Flying Fox is a wire and pulley device, which moves bananas to the packing sheds at four miles an hour.

Honestly did not understand that either. What's happening? What's the innovation? So Australia's come up with a banana moving device? They gave it a nickname like they do in Australia. They call it the Flying Fox. It's a flying fox. It's a banana mover.

Yeah, it moves. Yeah, it moves bananas. They put them on the thing and it takes them across to the packing area or whatever. That's what we're talking about. But it's not a real animal. No, it's not an animal at all. No. It would be great if it was an animal.

It feels like Australians innovate for problems that don't exist. Like nobody was ever like, these bananas are so slow. And then Australia's, we've figured it out. Now you can get one there in four miles an hour. It'll be far faster. So it's going really, really slow. And they're like, oh, it's like a flying fox. That's exactly what this reminds me of.

Wait, this was in an American newspaper Yes That's right About Australian bananas But was bananas even in America At this point Because they were in America Oh yeah

Oh yeah Oh yeah Oh fuck yeah You kidding In England In England In England To like the 70s

I don't know Are you shitting me right now Are you kidding Yeah Because my dad is born in 64 And he remembers He had a banana What?

Really It was a poor country Yeah Yeah Yeah I just saw a picture Of an Irish Countryman

with a banana of yours. I mean, we haven't now. Always. That sounds more like an oppressed country than a poor country. That sounds like they're keeping the bananas from you. Well, it was oppressed.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm sure the Brits are in the church. Yeah, and I'm sure the Brits were pounded bananas, that for years before. Yeah. And then the Catholic Church wouldn't give the bananas because of the sexual nature of it. Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck. That would be amazing. It would be the best. No, it says bananas were actually in America before Americans were in America. I don't know how that happened, because I'm pretty sure that this land was up for grabs. The first banana to reach Britain was in 1940.

So there you go. So it was oppression. They became common. Oh, that can't be right. The first Brit eating a banana must have been the most horrifying sound ever. Oh, God. Yeah,

those shark teeth just delicately like, it's quite tangy. Married and single men will play baseball Friday. So men will play. a baseball game will be played between the married men and the single men of Pembroke Friday I thought they're excluding divorce men oh the divorce dad

have we fucked up damn it's so great if they did yeah the divorce dads are just like why go out what's the point she moved on I know my two why should I hit I thought I was going to get a lot more

All right. On my money on the married guys. No, really? Singles 100%. The married guys are tired. They have kids and they're taking... Singles are out there doing too much stuff. They're partying too hard.

That might be true. That might be true. The marids need this. Marys do need it. Horace Blackmar and Emery Chickering will be in charge of the married man and Shiburn chickering of the single man. All interested in by...

Okay, hold on. Can we talk about mom, pa-chickering and what's going on? What was this? What are the names of the children? Emery is clearly the dad. Emery-chickering. And it's Sheburne-chickering. She-burned. The son. We can't eat because of my wife. She-burned chicken. Enjoy it, Dave. Well, DTM. Eva Braun reported in Italy securing funds. Wait a minute. So, Did Eva Braun have like an Elvis sort of lore about her after? I think they both did.

Really? I think they both. I think people are like, I saw Hitler. Hitler's lady. Peace. Side piece. Action. She ate cyanide.

Weren't they like asexual or some weird shit? I don't know. Allied officials today were investigating recurrent rumors that Eva Braun. Adolf Hitler's mistress had appeared on various occasions recently in the Alto Adige area of northern Italy. In Rome, Allied press officers

denied several days ago that there was any truth through reports but said they would investigate. It's not true. We're looking into it. She was in a park under some bramble. Reports circulating here today said a woman resembling Eva Braun

and speaking with a German accent So a German woman was there and they were like, we think I were found a Hitler's wife. That's it. That's all it is. Okay. She went to a savings bank at Afondo in the Trent district last week to cash a 50,000 lear check, which is about $135.

Wow. So she's, yeah, on hard times. She was reported to have displayed papers at Innsbruck and inscribed with the name Ava Braun. Oh, so she's banking under her own name. Yeah. That's what you do. Seems a bit strange.

For the bank of Hitler. Jitterbug contest. A jitterbug contest will be among the features of the 12th annual Field Day program, marking the 4th of July at the state prison. Like a fucking minute. Well, that got weird. That was sounded fine.

A jitterbug dance competition at the prison? Attractive programs in red. Yeah, I know. A lot of words, right? By the time I'm processing jitterberg or whatever. Jitterbug was, how did the jitterbug go, David? Do you even know? I don't know.

I honestly don't know how that. Yeah, it's a dance, but I don't know what kind of dance. You probably jitter and then you bug, right? Good stuff, sir. Like what you do that. Yeah, no, it's supposed to be withdrawals. Well, Jitterbug also eventually became a phone for the elderly here with big numbers. Okay, it's a bit of a rock and rolly dance.

Okay. Attractive. Yeah, that's great. It's where you hold each other and you kind of, you rock. Seems like it's every dance now that I'm looking at the still images. Okay. I think I know what it is now. You really explained it.

Attractive programs in red, white, and blue colors were distributed today to friends of the inmates and the prison personnel. There will be pie and cracker eating contests, a fat man race for inmates weighing. Guess how much? It's got to be like 180 pounds. It's 190. 190 was fat. That's like below average now. Oh, a fat.

Batman race of like regular looking, this is a race. It's like guys with dad bots, that's all it is. Yeah, yeah. Or more, and a special race for inmates 50 years or more. Wow. The 50 old man, the old man race. There will also be long races open to all inmates, although the course will naturally be restricted to the confining brick walls of the prison.

That was the mistake they made at the prison. Yeah, boys, right as far. Boy, it's really taking a while to come around that corner, huh, Hank? Oh, sweet mother of God, you idiot. Oh, shit. That sounds like that makes prison sound fairly fun. Yeah, there's like pie and dancing and Fat Man races. We have such a weird, like you're always supposed to be suffering in prison as opposed to just like, well, you're locked away.

So you're suffering already. That's the, that's the whole part. And so many countries treated as rehabilitative. And America's like, this is a punishment. Well, it's not even that. It's a matter of, it's profitable. Yes. As we're saying now more and more.

Yeah, that's right. It's profit. But they, like, murderers in, like, Denmark, they're like, we're teaching him to understand what he did wrong. And the guy's like, so now I have baked bread. And that's really teaching me. And like, he'll be out in 17 years after he learned his lesson. He's like, what? Jaywalking gets you beaten here.

No, now you can out of American bread. and, well, you learn how to do credit card fraud while you're in there and you get out and you're like, well, now to make a lot of money. Yeah, it's awesome. What are you going to say, Katie? Well, two things. I guess those other prisons also sell

to help them when they're out. I think in the American system, there's no help when they're out, but there is a prison in America that has, they give them cats and then that teaches them empathy. And if they're really good, they get to keep their cat. And if they, if they're really good,

good as a cat, they get special presents for the cats. I feel like I've heard of this. There's also one that they have them. It's great idea. They have them train dogs for the blind. So they get a dog and then they train it to. It would just be so much better. Then they have to let it go, which is bad.

But they get a dog for a little while. Yeah, but you'd rather than be fostering than fostering rage at the system. No, our system here is based on recidivism. It's important that they return as soon as possible. You know, because who's going to be our firefighters and telemarketers? So. Firefighters. Yeah.

They're all grill cooks. Denny's needs workers. It's what's happening right now with the like America really didn't think through. Anything? Thank you. Boys turn on fire hydrants. Get suspended sentence of 60 days. Wow.

Turning. Guess how, so boys. Boys, guess how old they are? Five. Five and eight. Turning on three fire hydrants on North Penbrook Road last night,

resulted in 60-day house correction sentences for two youths. Oscar Drew 18 and Leslie Ash 19 were apprehended by police. Boys. After the hydrants were found turned on and the used to pleaded guilty. Just boys. That's what we used to also be like, well, they're young. Yeah. No, I remember when I was like a kid and they were like,

they're trying an 11 year old as an adult. And I was like, I don't think you're allowed to do that to a kid. Isn't the whole? Can't fight an age war against the child? You're a man. you're a man now you're not a man justice Stevens suspended sentence upon

condition of good behavior after testimony by the pair that they would leave immediately to take jobs offered them at a summer resort all right well okay so they got yeah okay sure still claim landlord set fire claim a back in Boston a back bay landlord

faced district court arraignment today on a charge of setting a fire as a means of evicting a tenant against whom he had been unsuccessful. That's a great way to do it. But then you don't have a... No, that's short-sided. You're right.

There's a part when you... They finally left. They're like, well, you're not going to be able to rent it for years. Like, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Shit. That was, damn it. Oh, but you'd be surprised at Landlords.

You know, they'll rent you a burnt town. Yeah. Oh, yeah. In New York, they'd be like, this lovely charred-themed room is going to go for $2,300 a month. Utilities included once they're back up and running. God, it's just gorgeous. Arrested by state police, the man was booked as Fred Chirwinski. I'd like to be booked under the name Fred Chirwinski.

State police, Lieutenant Theodore Johnson, attached to the state fire marshal's office, said, Scherwinski entered the apartment of a Miss Lena Klingman on Sunday and set fire to a bedroom. It caused 2,000 damage. I kind of love it. I mean, I do kind of love it. A little bit. I love being at that level of wits end. Just be like, fuck it, I'm burning her bed.

Yeah, he must have been really trying to get her out because if you get to the point of the moment. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, in the moment, it's one of those, like... In the moment. As soon as it starts, you're like, oh, shit. But while you're doing it, you're like, this is truly, I will show her.

It just, it really goes to show how bad landlords are, though. I think we can all agree. Even just the 40s. Yeah. Yeah, always. Well, I remember when I moved into this place in Studio City and, uh, the woman next door was, like, deranged. And the building manager, I was like, is the woman next door crazy? He was like, yeah.

And I was like, cool, awesome. And he's like, we can't get her out. I was like, what? And it was like they legally had to repaint her apartment every like eight years or something. It was some law. So they could get her out for like three days. And I remember I just walking by one day got a glimpse of the inside. And it was chaos.

And she had a skeleton hang. And I was like, oh. That was her old roommate. Yeah, right. Yeah, that's the person from before. So I would have liked it if they let her bet on fire. Anvil Chorus Venture Failure Failure in Boston. The Boston Symphony Orchestra's hopes of approaching the noise made by this city

Anvil chorus of 1872 fell short by a lot of sound last night. Hmm. So... Explain? I don't know what's happening. Okay. I don't understand that either. But at least we're all aligned in not being sure what this is.

But there was clearly a record set in 1872 for how loud a concert was, maybe? But how can you judge that? It was just some guy. He was like, that's louder than the last one. Wow. That's how they... Wow. Really loud.

The idea was to obtain about 20,000 chorus singers who would raise voices loud enough with the beat of anvils to give off... I hate shit like this, where they're just like... I hate when they go to break records. Breaking records are so fucking when they're like, we're going to make the world's biggest enchilada. And you're like, it gives a fuck. Stop. What can an anvil as well? I don't know, okay.

No, the anvil's the Well, and cartoons and Anvil's a big weight. That's not what it. I don't think that's what it is. Could be. If you look up Anvil Orchestra. I'm just looking. Everything I Google comes up to Connor McGregor's cock. Yes, the cock wasn't loud enough for the sign barrier. No, it's kind of like the, it's kind of like the, it's kind of like the car.

Cartoonie Anvil a little bit. It's like a big block of metal. And I guess you play it. An Anvil orchestra has a group of musicians who perform live musical accompaniment to silent films. But I don't think there were silent films in 1872. No, I believe you're probably right. Could have just been some sort of vaudeville show.

Oh, no. It's okay. It's like an anvil though. It's an actual anvil. It's anvil has been used as a percussion instrument because it is. makes a fairly loud sound when hit by a hammer. So you're hitting it with a hammer and then people are singing. That sounds really dumb.

It sounds really loud, though. That's what matters. It's not supposed to be good. Okay, they're going to get 20,000 singers. So stupid. With the beat of Annvils to give off sound waves to compare with those of the World Peace Jubilee and International Music Festival three quarters of a century ago. That's really stupid.

Only, only 38 people registered for the chorus. Oh, what? So that's less than, that's less than 20,000. Yeah, a little bit. That's good, though. I like that. Stop these people from doing that stupid shit. Yeah.

We're going to scream the loudest ever together. Critics agreed, however, that the audience estimated by police at 34,000. Okay, now. Why not get some of them on the other side of this shit? have them sing. 34,000 people showed up to watch 38 people not get anywhere near breaking a record. Well, okay.

And conductor Arthur Fleedler's musicians made a brave try as voices were raised in rendition of the Anvil chorus from Verdi's opera, I'm not going to pronounce that, from Pendell's or, you know, Il Travator. Il travatore. But their efforts were described by the experts as nothing compared to the Jubilee event.

That festival had 20,000 choirs and red-shirted Boston Firemen beating 200 anvils. Okay, so you can't, but how, if you can't measure that because it's 18. Yeah, it's just some guy. Like how are you ever comparing it? No, you can't. Yeah, it's dumb. The whole thing is dumb. Well, you definitely can compare these two situations, though.

Because there's 40 versus 20,000 singles. That is true. Yeah, I think that's fair to say you're falling short. Yes. You look very proud, Katie. You're like, scientifically speaking. I believe I have returned with an answer. Just so you know.

Women eligible for jury duty. Well, this upsets me. Wow. This is not what it all went to hell. This is what your show's about, right, Katie? Sort of, loosely. What's Roe versus Wade? You know what?

I thought it was a fun title. That had to change court, the lawyers are like, can you fucking believe this shit? You know, we've got to talk to women. It's horrible. Women may now serve on New Hampshire juries, but it's easier said than done as far as conquered women are concerned. Jury service for the fair sex,

as provided by the Holden Act, passed by the 1947 legislature is voluntary, and women are required to register with town and ward voting officials if they wish to serve. The law went into effect on July 1st, but no machinery has been set up to take care of voluntary registration for jury service. No machinery. So it doesn't matter. Yeah, they didn't put anything in place.

So women are coming and going, I would like to serve on jury, and they're like, I don't know how to, what am I going to write your name? name down. I don't know what... Yeah, you could probably just write my name down and that would probably be... Yeah, I don't know. What are you going to do? Because we don't have a thing, we don't have a place for writing down. I'm going to take you to court over this. Okay. That's crazy to think. You know, the way they try to do juries as diverse as possible

in case, you know, whoever's... Yeah. Yeah, but then all that time before, if a woman is, you know, being tried for... Sorry, my voice is very high-pitched. I don't really done. for being tried against murdering her husband the jury's just men. They're always going to go for the dead husband. Always. So women were screwed before that. And since then, there's really no, it's just, yeah,

that's all it's been the entire time is just, go ahead, Dave. The only place that they do well is divorce court. Yeah, I guess so. I don't mean, I don't mean money-wise. I mean, like, they would always be like, yes, she can have the children. Yeah. That would always be the thing. That's the only time.

But I think the guy's secret, yeah, the guy's secret, it was like, that's fine. That makes, that makes more sense. Honestly, I'm an alcoholic who I threaten violence a lot against the family. That makes a lot of sense. Literally everywhere else, everywhere else they just get in the shaft. Ward supervisors and Concord haven't been notified what their duties are or how to handle prospective women jurors. How to handle that?

So women, um, welcome to courtroom. Um, I can see on the vacant looks. You are not understanding. What is this place? This is a judge. Judge. Judge. Judge women.

Okay. I don't think this is going to work. I feel like you guys are the guys shining at me That's the vibe we like on this show I'm the juror Yeah I also like the idea that it had to be voluntary The idea that jury duty used to be voluntary

So much fucking better When you used to have to be like I'd like to do it instead of now Like whenever I get a jury summons I'm always like Oh my God How am I going to pretend I never received this.

I always get kicked off the jury. I don't do it. I always get kicked off the jury. So I stopped, I stopped doing it because I got kicked off every time. Is you right? I'm just, yep.

Yes. No, because I always said how much, how much I hate cops. You hated other races? Oh. And they never want me on their jury, which is the truth.

So I was on, I was on a jury, a prospective jury once said the guy, the guy on the jury to get thrown off. He just goes, I don't believe in laws. And the judge is like, what?

And he was like, yeah, don't believe in law. And she was like, no, she like wasn't having it. And then eventually she was like, get out of here. And I was like, I cannot fucking believe that worked. He was like, he like doubled down. He's like, I don't believe in law.

She was like, you have to. He's like, no, she's like, you showed up to jury duty. You believe in some law. I don't believe in it. But I don't know it'll come after me. But personally, I don't believe in it. It was awesome. So several who have applied for jury service have been given.

given the brush off by their ward officials. In other words, officials are ready and waiting to take the names of women willing to serve on juries, but so far, nobody has bothered to apply. Wow. Oh, wow. It's so funny. Getting the right to do that and being like, actually sounds like a really shitty right. So, um, we're good.

Yeah. Yeah, imagine getting that right. Yeah, that's what men came back. You couldn't divorce your husband there. you were like in property you were like taxed yeah no but then they were like

women we've heard you you can sit through boring trials and weigh in you're welcome equality is here this is a little blurb in monkeys and apes the number of pairs of ribs

varies from 11 in some species to 15 in others that That's awesome Derek, I know you're a big animal guy Break it down first Well, I don't really know I just know that if you sent someone off

To go like research that And they came back and they were like There's a rib differential Katie What one of them is able to blow himself And the other can So the main advantage Is that the chimpanzee

Which has less ribs Is able to suck its own dick We call this the Manson breed. The other species has been known to try to pull his own ribs out. The other species is trying to train one of the head gorillas

to rip out the ribs of others so they can fillate themselves. Man. Yes, I'm a scientist. Thank you for asking. So let me tell you, there's a lot of monkeys with less ribs sucking their own dicks.

Ted, can we talk to you over here? Hold on. Let me just finish this TED talk. I've got a whole chart now of the animals I've discovered who can suck themselves. So lizards can't suck their own dicks unless you push their head really hard, which I was doing in the field a lot. A lot of these animals can suck their dicks if you really push it hard. The McGregor monkey has trouble getting it to its mouth because it's always pointing westward. But the other species use them as a combative.

when they need to go west. Yes, but he's also a weather vane. Carnival offers... He uses his cock to bring bananas faster to the place it's called a flying cock. He's also played a trick on some of the other apes where he put his dick in between a peeled banana skin and had that peel it only to see his weird de-hooded shaft.

It's called the Pervert Monkey. It's called the... Carnival offering $50 for funding Bob Hope. Oh my God. Speaking of monkeys that suck their own dicks. Is Bob Hope the artist? No, Bob Hope, you're thinking that's Bob Ross. Bob Hope was like a...

He was like a comedian entertainer in the 40s, 50s movie act. he would go on it. He started the U.S.O. Tours, but he was also a total rapy old creep who was a piece of shit. Racist piece of shit. Yeah. Yeah, he was like the number one comedian

back then. He was huge. A $50 reward was offered today for the capture of Bob Hope. A carnival, which played Claremont last week, wants him back and posted the reward after he was recaptured yesterday, but escaped again.

I tell you, boy. they finally caught me and put me back in the circus guy Bob Hope by the way is a monkey I knew it He could suck his own dick He converted on the rooftop of a north Street house and was lured into a cage bar Carnival employee but took advantage of his keeper's failure

To close the cage door and sped off again Man if it was the real Bob Hope This whole thing would be a lot better Oh my God it would be so much better. He was a real piece of shit. He really was. Troy Amnesia

victim queried. Woman, 35, carried Keene Bus ticket, bus ticket and Benson Trophy. Hmm. Keen police sought to determine

today if a woman amnesia victim who is being detained in a Troy, New York hospital, may be a resident of this vicinity. Unable to identify herself.

Why do we feel like amnesia stopped? Does it still happen? Yeah, every once in a lot, I see a story. But I think it felt more common back then because I think... I feel like back then there was tons of amnesia. Well, you could lie more. You could be like, yeah, I don't know. How could you not do that now?

It's so easy to do that. Because now with the internet and everything, you can't. They'll find out. It's easier to find out who someone is, I think, now. But you can still feign that you have it, though. Like I could still be like, I don't remember anything. Yeah, you can still faint. Yeah.

Where am I? You get amnesia. You're on a podcast. What is amnesia? They'll be so annoying to be around someone with the amnesia. Amnesia and they keep forgetting it's amnia. Yeah. Oh, man.

It's called a fork, Kathy. I don't think this is how it works. unable to identify herself when she arrived in Troy Monday night, the woman, about 35, carried a bus ticket of the Cheshire Transportation Company at Keene and a lucky piece from the Benson Wild Animal Farm at Hudson. That's two really weird things to have. Well, the bus ticket makes sense. Sure.

The other one. Troy police turned their investigation into New Hampshire. Troy police also enlisted the aid of the keen sentinel which published a picture of the woman today in something to establish her identity okay

so that's it so there's just a lady who doesn't know who in the fuck she is that's fine that could be a lot of closure yeah hold up suspect killed New York. Hmm.

A suspected bandit fleeing from the scene of a $10,000 holdup in the Times Square area was shot to death by a patrolman in a crowded bus. Jesus. Wow.

What the fuck? Eric Adams' pornography. There is a video that I saw today of a Oklahoma cop and he's chasing someone in a

car on the highway for stealing a watermelon. Oh my God. And while he drives, he takes out his high-powered weapon and is shooting it as he drives down the highway. And you can see cars coming the other way. At some point, they just, like, at some point, they were just like, they, they just, it really is. they just became a different, the idea became different at some point.

Yeah, they can, they're literally people in our society who are like, oh, I can do whatever I want. Yeah, and they're just like if it doesn't matter, like there's just, there's, there's supposed to be a line for when you do that. It's like there's danger. You don't go like, yeah, we're going to get that watermelon back to its legal grocery store. And now there's all these stories of rural cops acting bad. And that's because when they get fired from city, they just go get a job out in the country. And so now they're like, we're having,

we're having issues with all these cops. They're like, yeah, you keep hiring the ones that are getting fired. They have all the time. What's it like in, what is the vibe in, were you there when Trump came to Scotland, Katie? Was it? I heard it on the news, but yeah, I go. Like in Ireland, the cops are, you know,

they just have sticks and stuff. No, I always think that. Like, there's even in most other countries, you're like, I mean, I don't love authority, but this is fine. Whereas in America, there's genuine danger in America. Yeah. I think the last time I left the country, I went to Italy for two weeks, and I didn't see a cop the whole time. No, there's just like, it's so much, people really do not, people in this country are a complete, out of their minds.

acceptance of what this is supposed to look like. Yeah, totally. It's fine. Well, I mean, why do you take the watermelon? Like literally people in the comments of videos like that are like, like, well, you shouldn't take a watermelon. Sorry, dude. This is what happens to take a watermelon.

Sorry, bro. Yeah. And these people who comment that are the same people who probably drunk drove or like some unconfessional sex thing. Always. And they're like, God forbid a watermelon. Yeah, no, always. The, this fully, they're like cancel culture.

Watermelon Moot Walk You know, as though, like, some of the cops are descendants of Irish people who fled the famine and fled a passion in Ireland, a lot of the people at that time were stealing, like, those of bread, just so they could feed themselves in Ireland. And if they got caught, they were sent

to prison islands in Australia. So it's ironic now that their descendants who just, like, didn't get caught for the bread but got to escape to America. I know, like, doing the same thing. It's not mad when they think about it. Like, a watermelon is the same as a local of bread being sent to a prison in the other side of the world for the rest of your life

is the same as a man driving there and shooting that yet. Like, it's no. Well, yeah, they really were excited. I mean, they, I mean, they were very excited to get people over to Australia. So everything that was being done, they're like, that, get out. You go here now. When I was in high school, I worked in a grocery store, and a guy stole a sandwich, and I chased him down and caught him and he's like, I'm hungry.

And I'm like, oh, okay, take the sandwich. As you were, sir, I didn't realize that's what it was. Oh, yeah, I wasn't thinking. Go ahead. Just go ahead. Yeah. The patrolman, his name was not immediately available, of course, was wounded in exchange of shots with the alleged holdup man.

40 persons were on the bus as the suspect chased a patrolman. chased by the patrolman darted into the front open door of the vehicle, which was halted a block east of Times Square. Police said they found on the dead man several articles of jewelry allegedly stolen from a nearby store, and then he had in his pocket a disabled veterans card. Oh, so he's a disabled veteran and a Florida driver's license bearing the name Joe Fernandez. Okay, so he's a vet. A lot of boxes checked here.

Came back for the war, can't find work. He, because he's disabled, tries to, you know, now he goes to crime and then, uh... He'd be great for the new show, scaffold scuffles. Get him up there. And then if you win, you win a watermelon. Yeah, you get a water, sweet, sweet, juicy watermelon. So, so what's better? Letting a guy get away with the jewels or just waiting until he comes off the bus or

scarring 40 people for life with PTSD seeing a man shot dead in front of them? Well, I mean, if I'll play devil's eva, I think of how awesome the cop felt. We never take into consideration how cool the cops feel beating the innocent or shooting people and scarring bystanders. It's important. And if you do hear, he's a vet, and like he fought in World War I.

you know you're kind of like oh you just keep the jury yeah you earned it well we have this obsession with like taking care of veterans like we need to help veterans and then it's like nobody does that and you're just like what about that part and we're like don't talk about that just support them support them and they go to war Katie thank you for joining us on the past times appreciate it people can go watch your special

therapy and I'm not doing go ahead Minus the H. Minus the H, exactly. And people should go to your show there. You guys will get an H. They'll get an H at some point over there. We're all rooting for you.

Yeah, we don't want your H's, no, we don't want your trumps. Wow. And we want to keep our windmills. It's Trump. You know. You're going to, yeah. You'll see that we're right.

They cause cancer. Well, thank you, Katie. Appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. Katie Boil comic. Go over. Watch it.

And then tell me that you watched it from here. Tell me much care if you can here. Great. And I don't know. Great. What? Shit. Thank you, Katie.