The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 176 - Bass Reeves

Episode Date: May 26, 2016

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the first black lawman west of the Mississippi, Bass Reeves. SOURCESTOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

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from American history to my friend Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about put the mic thing on to that look we didn't say anything the mic was coming off it looked great it was very phallic and it's covered in fur is that from the floor or did you hear how well who else would it be from it's Jose why would you put it down for like one second it doesn't matter your house is filthy dude the carpet isn't made of him we'll be right back is it for fun a bunch of religious virgins go to mingle and do what frame so this this podcast is sponsored by a subscribers on patreon we want to

thank each and every one of you for giving it is awesome you get what you get eight podcasts a month if you give a buck that's like mathematically speaking that's $30 a podcast yeah and that's easy also we are on the all things comedy network there's a network of podcasts you can go check them out at all things comedy.com there's a bunch of good podcasts on there get on it 55 of them get on it girl all right did I do that right do what right say get on it girl I think I did no David July 1838 July oh July July 1838 I thought you said July 1838 I was like what year is it 1838 yeah I thought there was a comma

after the 18 so you thought that I was doing 18 July 18th 38 AD 38 p 38 p m Bass Reeves was born a slave in Crawford County he was the son of a woman owned by most most people are that is true well but it could have been the son of a man sure owned by William S Reeves who had served in the Tennessee legislature before moving to Arkansas he would eventually serve in both the Arkansas and Texas legislatures okay the dad with hot man around town dad slave owner slave yeah slash dad in your opinion dead beat the dad the dad guy master Papa owner dad you mean his papa when Bass was eight years old William

Reeves moved to North Texas their bass was a stablehand and a blacksmith's apprentice but he was black blacksmith he's just a Smith Bass then became William Reeves man servant and went wherever Reeves went okay I think that's a step up I don't know how yeah man yeah you can put that on a business card yeah now you got now you're building a resume and your slave pardon me man servant excuse me sir man servant I didn't spend four years in servantry school to be called slave servantry school mm-hmm William Reeves also allowed Bass to use his guns for hunting okay so there's okay a lot of

very trusting a lot of trust yeah that is a lot of trust very trusting of your slave very Django it quickly became apparent a bass was a very good shot and very quick this gave Bass self-confidence okay cool bass quickly surpassed his master who was a poor shot that's like a caddy shake you got to lose you got to lose the game gotta start shooting erently William Reeves was not even slightly concerned that his slave was so good with a gun instead he took pride in it and bragged about it and entered him in turkey shoots and other contests turkey shoots okay sure Bass was such a good marksman that he

was quickly banned from all gun competitions I mean I feel like part of that is cuz he's might have been yeah there's you just dude at you anyway it's like anyone can enter man was your black that black eyes too good sorry you didn't say he was good he's showing up the white ease you can't beat white man mm-hmm William Reeves joined the 11th Texas cavalry before the Civil War okay and Bass served with him in battle okay so wait cuz he's man servant so obviously he's gonna so is he just like telling him what to shoot like when he would shoot I assume it's almost like a video game well he's shoot he's fighting

like he's serving with a guy who's fighting to keep him a slave oh I didn't even think that's fucking cute what the fuck that's amazing it's so fucked he was like you're the good shot not me come with me and shoot the people are trying to free you I'm a little conflicted you keep hitting the tree I know I keep hitting the tree those guys should win must have slept funny Bass was at the battles of a Chickamauga Missionary Ridge and P Ridge in Arkansas sometime during the Civil War Bass was playing cards with William Reeves and they got into an argument so Bass punched Reeves in the face Jesus

which is generally not is that frowned upon I mean as far as me through the etiquette of this relationship what I know about the slave owner man servant what I know about the man servant owner relationship is that the man serve is not supposed to strike the owner something tells me that if you're a former slave who's turned into a man servant and you punch the man who used to own you he's still a slave oh he is yeah he's just a man it's just it's just he's he's new he's not like a field slave now right man servant slave oh so he got like upgrade upgraded in the terrible slave upgrade right okay the

slave great he's still owned by another human okay well then my my guess is that you become a regular slave as soon as you punch it in the face you're no longer a man servant so how much you got to piss somebody off to like break that rule for a slave to punch you in the face you should be such a dick you have to be I mean that's really gotta well I'm killing myself you have to be running across the line so worth it yeah yeah so Bass ran off okay and he ran to Indian territory in March 1862 okay which is the state of Oklahoma okay Reeves lived with the creeks and the Seminoles and learn that you're gonna

say in the bloods and the bloods the creeks and the bloods and he learned to speak the muskogee language and the languages of other tribes so he okay so now he's living with another like a Native American linguist he's a Native American a lot a lot of slaves ran off and joined the Native American would probably probably where else would you go probably people you can have a little more understanding yeah hi we're both getting fucked I hate white people we hate white people oh yeah I hate them there's a poster over there I used to have that my room room barn I punched one get get in here come on come on get the

food get the maze so at some point Bass joined a unit of Union soldiers made up of blacks and Native Americans who fought the Confederate Allied tribes how is that not a movie right that would be that's awesome how it's not a movie because white people because it stars black yeah that's right Native American right no but it's got to be it how is that not a fucking you know it's not a movie because they fought other tribes they weren't fighting they weren't fighting the Confederate I don't think so me maybe they did but from what I read it sound like they were just well Hollywood it up a little Dave we'll do that post yep we

got that see on set after the Civil War Reeves who got got married okay right after went to Van Buren and he bought a farm I don't know I couldn't figure out how that happened I couldn't find out how he got the money to buy farm okay but after the war he went and bought a farm okay maybe maybe he won it maybe he won it he wanted to be a farmer and a horse breeder but that didn't work out okay his experience led him elsewhere and he ended up working as a tracker and a guide for US Marshals okay which makes sense because of Native American experience that he had he learned how to track and he knew the land right the Indian Terry

territory was at this point very very lawless criminals were pouring into the territory from all over the US and death was a constant possibility you could just lose your life over your hat your horse your gun your woman any damn thing the Indian territory was where the majority of deputy US Marshals had been killed in the line of duty in the history of the Marshall service over 130 were killed in the Indian territory and Indian policemen were getting killed as well some say it was the greatest battleground between crime and law in the history of the United States of America well that is quite a statement

and there were Native American police officers yeah they yeah so they had reservations so how many four no six the the Smiths are coming okay got you so in in in the territory there were fugitives and murders and bank robbers and bootleggers and castle officers pretty much any criminal one could think of was in the Indian territory okay well it sounds fun it was a play also place where criminals could go and just change their names just cut you just say hey I'm Rex Francis now hey hi nice to meet you Rex familiar oh yeah your names Rex yep yep how do you spell it are why I see some idea I you know what I left it

in the bank hi get over here hi hey hi I'm Rex no we did this oh I'm the same guy oh yeah oh sorry I'm Jeff what yep my name is Jeff I'm a poet okay gotta go wait gotta go I'm meeting Bobby over there that guy's name is not Bobby is now it is this is where we change names this is where children in the area had a song children oh what was your name in the states was it Johnson or Thompson or Bates did you kill your wife or fly for your life say what was your name in the States wow what's just a kid song just kiddies little kids saying about killing your wife and changing your identity because you did it regular kid

stuff kid shit federal court for the western district of Arkansas was moved to Fort Smith in 1871 Isaac C Parker was made the federal judge in 1875 his nickname was the hanging judge um before that was doesn't take a lot of shit judge hey short short trigger judge okay never saw a guy he didn't want to kill judge a lot of nicknames they seem to get clear that it was Bob wait a minute was it Rex before that it was Rex god damn it it's Rex again Parker ordered his chief marshal to hire 200 deputy marshals to cover the almost 75,000 square miles of Indian territory it's quite a large area it's big it's a bigger big bass had

learned to track he knew the area he could speak the native languages and was good with a gun so he was perfect Parker hard bass Reeves making him one of the first if not the very first black deputy US Marshal west of the Mississippi this needs to be a movie fucking he's the first guy it's awesome yeah must be really weird though like cuz you can't get word out on that super easily like it won't spread that fast so like for the first time that a white person sees him as polite I'm sorry is this Halloween motherfucker what is this freaky frat is that what they call it freaky frat freaky frat a he was a bass was not

as good with a pistol as he was with a rifle so a marshal named Landon taught him the best way to handle a pistol and bass practiced every single day until his skill with a revolver matched his skill with his rifle Reeves would ride out into Indian territory with a pocket full of warrants a cook a chuck wagon and a single posse man for backup posse man posse man he used the skills he had learned from the Seminoles to track men while leaving no trail okay there was no calling for backup that back then obviously there was a radio hey boss come out buddy old Craig could you get some fellas down here there's nothing it wasn't

there no that was that time you might want to double check you had to deal with whatever came at you often marshals would be ambushed at night while they were sleeping and killed fun you know that's how I want to go yeah Reeves was illiterate so he had to memorize all the warrants before he left but that seems so much harder also like you had to keep them in order so you knew which one was which oh Jesus Christ like you can't it breezes your enemy I can learn to read oh you had a time you're spending memorizing all these fucking war why you learn how to read them shit I forgot all of them again shit hey I'm back so

we're more time where all your criminals I live that's a long story why was it a long story where the criminals you went out you've been out for fucking seven days can we run through the names again oh fuck back no no listen it's not what you think can't you just learn to read yeah oh my god I don't know why we keep you on haha okay the guns good the names please it's Bob Rex wait a minute wait a goddamn minute not only was it a dangerous place to be a laman but there were also jurisdictional complications like he could arrest a Native American who committed a crime against a white or a black but he couldn't arrest a Native

American who committed a crime against another Native American huh then that's what the Native American police would write that's out of your jurisdiction yeah but I'm right here and I saw it we're gonna need the chief of chief to come in Reeves wouldn't just track down people on the warrants he could also make on the spot arrest for serious serious crimes like murder assault arson rape robbery and incest fun last yeah and Marshalls were paid per arrest so there you go pretty good incentive yep no he was fucking his sister sure feels like it's still similar no this guy was fucking his sister I swear to God yeah I

saw him so can I get some money for this money for this sister fucker shut up they also got a per DM fee and money for feeding prisoners they were transporting they would go on 30-day journeys to make arrests this is a great job it's not a much of a life no it's horrible all right well this will take two years see you guys in two years I memorized the 12 names bass first kill came when he was arresting a bootlegger and his armed bodyguard they were selling whiskey from a horse-drawn wagon bass approached and the bootlegger raised his hands but the gunman was not happy that he was being arrested by a

black man that's the situation we all feared someone not respecting the badge right yeah quote a black badge don't mean a damn thing to me he swung his rifle towards bass but he didn't have time to connect as he swung the rifle bass fired two shots into his chest he was dead before he fell over from the driver's seat don't fuck with that it's hard to tell that for sure though gonna take the pulse on the way out well I think that there's a look in your eyes maybe a wink a wink you heard of the death wink no I didn't know people get shot in the chest right before they die they wink I think he was just being cute

no he's dead Charlie that's a death wink 80 miles west of Fort Smith there was a place known as the deadline when a deputy marshal from Fort Smith crossed the Missouri Kansas and Texas railroad tracks he was taking his life in his hands but on every trail it's always railroad tracks yeah even now yeah it's always other side of the tracks oh yeah it's still the same the fucking tracks they fucked everything up what happens on every trail there would be small cards posted warning particular deputies that if they crossed the deadline they would be killed can't say they weren't up front so there's just this

place mm-hmm where there's just cars like Marshall Frank Gibbons if you step over this line I shall kill you well that's gotta keep going right go do do do do bass Reeves had a dozen of these cards for him and he did not take them lightly smart yeah bass Reeves was said to be meaner he probably didn't know what they said no he was like look at these cute cars someone said my name again someone said my name again I think it's this tree's birthday too happy birthday dear bass Reeves the marshals an idiot the pass Reeves was said to be meaner than anyone he tried to catch that was pretty much standard for marshals back

then they were more frightening than the criminals they were hunting it's interesting that makes sense right who else would go fucking hunt a criminal they'd kill like a pass some of them had been outlawed themselves previously and now had a badge that's weird too yeah Frank I didn't know you were a marshal now yeah my name's Rex when are you gonna get the hell out of you Reeves had a reputation and was very respected by the Indian nations sometimes Reeves would haul back 15 prisoners at a time geez many of whom were murderers in one famous incident Reeves and another marshal put a stop to a race war in

Braggs Texas wow they arrested 25 men black and white who had taken part in the attacks that's gotta be so weak like I just thinking of the time like white people were prejudiced like the hell is he doing to us I mean the little race war I can't be arrested by a black man the whole point of a race war is that I don't get arrested by blacks I mean really he's like no you don't understand I don't respect you you can't arrest me I'm killing your kind I don't believe in your right I don't even think that you're a human sir I choose to wave that right did you just call him sir I'm very confused about our race war oh shit

another times Reeves rode into a lynch mob as they were hanging a prisoner that they had caught and he rode right into the middle of the angry mob took their prisoner and rode off without ever saying a word well people like what I guess is what just I guess this is happening did the black guy just take did a silent black man just come through here and take our prisoner I've been seeing a lot of them lately got him silent black man terrifying we should have a race war yeah Reeves was so about the law that he even arrested the minister who baptized him for selling illegal liquor sorry sir sorry father do I get it is

there like any get out of a free car shut up fuck your fucking son of a bitch mm-hmm classic basshole that you son of a bitch he was arrested he also arrested his own son what then who does that he arrests everybody and your son can pass Reeves take no shit Reeves that's hey just ground me you're under arrest fuck face I was a prank it's not his name on the war and fucking learn to read I can't believe we got him to arrest his own son he arrested his cat is an idiot I'm sorry mittens no seriously you're going downtown I told him to arrest a tree he did oh shit he brought it back this one didn't go easy boys so he rests his own

son who had been who had been his own son who had been charged with killing his wife his son was convicted and given life in prison at Leavenworth I guess I should have waited for the crime when he put it like that yeah all right the highest momentist career came against robber bob dozer dozier dozier had been a farmer who by choice left that profession to become a criminal interesting this is so boring with the corn and then the corn I hate security and then the corn and then the corn I want to rape and murder I'm off well mom I'm off I'm going to tend to rape and murder but you're a farmer I don't

think I don't think that goes with rape I'm going to town to commit some crime gonna have myself a real good time I'm gonna rape and I'm gonna murder I'm gonna have some fun I'm gonna do what I want to do till my days done just skipping stones a little bluebird lands on his finger hey criminal mascot so yeah so dozier did pretty much everything bank rob robbing cattle wrestling swindling holding up stagecoaches at wrestling cattle wrestling wrestling okay I was like wrestling is wrestling he also he wrestled horses and he was wanted for a long time Reeves and a posse tracked him and caught up with dozier in 1891 on a

steep thickly wooded ravine during a thunderstorm when they reached the bottom of the ravine there was a shotgun blast which whizzed past basses head everyone jumped off their horses and made for the trees bass saw a man slowly moving from tree to tree and shot him that man fell down but there was still one left now basses position had been given away but the gunshot so he jerked up right took a step away from the tree and fell to the ground as if he had been shot that's not like that it was quiet for several minutes and then dozier stepped out and laughed thinking bass was dead and the posse had run off okay can we have a time

I'm going so I okay I get I like basses thinking that's I like that thinking I always like that sort but this if there's no gunshot there was did he shoot his gun when he did it I think that I think that yeah he shot the other guy he shot the guy but then when he fell and pretended to get shot did anyone shoot dozier might have thought the gunshot was oh for bass okay I'm assuming okay either way pretty quick thinking yeah for sure he's doing that I'm missing flights right yeah smart so dozier then started to approach bass when he got close bass rose up and told them to drop his gun dozier thought for a

moment then dropped into a crouch and tried to shoot bass pulled the trigger and shot dozier in the neck killing him instantly what if he just thought he misheard him I said drop your gun no don't drop and shoot you stop shooting that's crazy yeah that's bad ass fucking joke that's what I like to call badass okay he also always had a deal rate racism one time a group of marshals were transporting a group of federal prisoners to a pent entry one man watching took exception to a black man with a gun issuing orders to white folks even though they're criminal yeah yeah well these are days when that

doesn't matter and the bystander was very vocal about it then a local police officer agreed with him interesting the cop pulled his gun and pointed it at bass and then bass pulled his gun they were ready to shoot each other when his senior deputy Marshall stepped in in between them to prevent the two lawmen from killing each other or at least from bass killing the white cop yeah how great would that have been if they'd fucking show that's so that but like that's what I so I guess I mean I guess the idea is that you just it'll like everything else it'll get more normal but this is like he's the Jackie Robinson

of black cops yeah basically right Reeves reputation grew so much that criminals had nightmares about him there's a story in a Texas newspaper about a man who had tried to set his fiance on fire well I mean you know how stressful weddings can be oh my god just everything was just the flowers and we gotta have you know with my brother in law has to be there inside all his kids and you know you can't invite all your friends how many groomsmen are you gonna have that's it Shelley I'm gonna set you on fire that is such a crazy way to try to kill the crime is tried to set her on fire yeah I forgot the matches so he

wasn't good at it how do you how are you how can you be bad at it I don't know so the guy is wanted and he went to sleep that evening he had a nightmare that basteries had shot him while he was trying to escape and he went to the jail and turned himself in so just his existence was making criminals stop like Sheriff Freddy Krueger just strutting around the pink color it's it's a red bandana dude he's a blood in 1884 the Bunter brothers were terrorizing the Indian territory they were thieves and caught one another cake mother fuckers I don't know we made you a pound cake baby it's fine you can just leave it

here are you enjoying your cakes from the Bunter brothers yeah they're good can you just oh are they well thank you we'll be back another sucker come on brother yeah it's very good cake exactly enjoy it I don't think these guys hey eat it with some milk bitch yeah okay we're the bunners thank you but okay we make fun and pound cake okay yeah I love that we might yeah we make but mainly buns all right there were thieves and cop killers bass came across them one day on a trail the brothers pointed their guns at him and ordered him off his horse as he stepped close they could see the badge on his coat the oldest brother

asked bass what he was doing there and bass replied well I've come to arrest you got the warrant right here calm the weird casualness that freaks criminals out yeah yeah I'm here to get get you guys but we're pointing where the most badass motherfuckers in the whole you know area where the most badass there's three of us super badass oh there's three yeah super bad to see the Thunder triplets bass then took out the warrant and handed it to the eldest can you read that yeah what does it say your name I got them all mixed up in the this says Clemens damn it what about this one Rex the brothers looked at the

warrant and the long list of crimes of which they were accused while they were doing that bass pulled out his colt 45 and fired two shots just Adam yes he hold he handed to him and they started reading it hey I don't remember the Larsen he shot two of them he shot two of them yeah right in the chest in the chest two of the bunter brothers fell dead the older pointed this gun at bass but before he could pull the trigger bass grabbed the gun pushed it into the air and then pistol whipped him with his own gun until he was knocked out oh hmm it was the end of the bunter brother hmm that was fast that was good no

more cakes another famous outlaw was Jim Webb who was an arsonist and a murderer bass caught up to him at a ranch house web pulled a loaded revolver and bass just smacked it away then he put web and a chokehold was left hand and drew his gun with his right hand which he pointed at web's face so like noogies with a gun noogies with a gun that's actually the name of the movie right noogies with a gun guys the title is not testing well it's his name noogies no no noogies is what you know like a crazy uncle gives a nephew it's set because it sounds like his name is noogies noogies with a gun no no and

now that I'm thinking about it I think we might be dipping in some racial territory but it's a little sensitive right then webs partner Frank Smith shot at Reeves he missed him with both shots bass turned and shot Smith in the gut Smith died on the way back in the wagon web was given bail and of course bass tracked him down again this time when web saw him coming he immediately started shooting he shot bass's hat and the reins of his horse bass just jumped off his course horse and quickly put three bullets in web she's good lord right yeah yeah he's the fucking shiznet Reeves wasn't a perfect lawman though in

April 18 for 1884 Reeves shot his cook William Leach while he was out on patrol this goulash is so bad it's a crime that's crazy gets the staff in line wash so what happened here yeah goulash yeah yeah but like that so then the next time you're interviewing a cook so what the last what happened the last guy I killed him don't like goulash anyway cold soup go fuck itself I'm bass Reeves god damn it I don't like thick soup bass Reeves likes hot soup I don't like thick cold soups wounded Leach slowly died there was an inquest but bat bass avoided being charged but in two years later in 1886 the US Attorney's Office was filled

by a Democrat being the pro-slave party they were not big on black guys who had shot white guys so Reeves was then arrested for killing leach I mean here we go it's hard to pick a side here they're both bullshit his badge was taken away and he was charged with murder he sat in jail for three months awaiting trial there was different testimony one man said Reeves and leach had argued over a stray dog and that's why Reeves had shot him well I think we're all hoping that it's that one I think someone who wrote the movie Silverado read the bass Reeves story have you seen this puppy have you seen

Silverado no that's one of the storylines is that two guys used to ride together and they got into a fight over a stray dog what is the fight oh how do you what do you mean they do over whose dog it was well the one guy yeah they they picked up a dog whether committing crimes and it was like running with him and then then at some point such adorable criminal the dog got in like a horse's way and the guy shot him and then they they had a fight over and they stopped being partners she just trust me okay but Reeves and other witnesses said it was an accidental shooting that his rifle had gone off while Reeves was

trying to dig a faulty cartridge out of the chamber with a knife both both compelling if your gun is fucked up you fucking stab it with a knife yeah you kill it with a knife I'm gonna attack this gun with my knife because that's because there was just one guy that said it was a stray dog and everyone else said that they'd seen the knife thing he was acquitted of murder but he was financially ruined by the trial he had to sell his home to pay his legal fees the trial had clearly been racially motivated but Bass was not gonna back down from being a Marshall and picked up his career where it left off but the

push against black men working as Fort Smith employees was gaining steam the Confederates came back into power in the 1890s and Reeves was transferred to the federal court in Paris Texas to get away from the climate he retired from the Marshall service in 1907 and joined a police force in Muscogee, Oklahoma he died of Breitz disease January 10th January 1910 that's a kidney I thought it was when someone didn't close the blinds no too bright was really too bright okay those blinds killed a lot of black vampires vampires suffer from Breitz disease a lot he was written about in papers all of the country as a shining

example of law and order in the in the West today Reeves grave cannot be located he brought in over 3,000 criminals Wow and killed 14 der's career as a Marshall he was never shot except for in his hat where's his hat buried that did not make her that's crazy yeah there he should he should be a movie how is that not a movie how is Bass Reeves not a fucking movie that's just great yeah I mean it's a it is a lit like there there is there is just something gratifying about like in Django and chain just watching like a black man get revenge on yeah that's something delightful I can keep eating like a goulash like a

goulash yeah I love you hmm not you excuse me when I at the show Saturday night I got on stage and as soon as I got up there's silence and someone goes boy she pops and that it's like those are things that you don't like I mean that's what I said right away I was like oh that's great how are and then you're like there's a room full of people with the hell just yeah yeah yeah I got a weird fan hey they were very sweet all right we signed cards yeah