The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 177 - The Past Times with James Fritz

Episode Date: June 5, 2026

Dave Anthony reads a paper to co-host Gareth Reynolds and comedian James Fritz SOURCESTOUR DATESOFFICIAL MERCHDownload Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/4cq1zeop #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Someone's finally doing it. You know what we do here each week. We go through a newspaper from a random date in history picked out by none other than Dave Anthony. I, Gareth Reynolds, have never seen it. And neither has this week's guest. Dave Anthony Mixing it up I don't know

It's something to do James, thank you for being here Thank you for having me James Where can people listen to your album Why can people listen to your album And how can people listen to your album? Are you a cop?

I don't have to tell you that That's a lie Interesting Okay Yeah, that's fair Where can people listen to your stuff? Oh shit You can hear it

on the internet. You can buy it at a special thing records.com. Okay. You can request it on the Sebastian Manascalco XM channel. What is this whole Sebastian Manascalco request for you? You're in cahoots with Sebastian. You've decided you want to... You remind me of a young Sebastian.

You do a lot of the same stuff. Oh, man. I just thought about doing an act out in my back, A lot of people don't know this about Sebastian But he's Italian About who He doesn't really talk about it

But he's not people talk about how he might be The supremacist is a misrepresentation I thought it was a documentary I don't know what a documentary We're not a stereotype At the DMV Give me a letter a number

those are dephromatrix the funniest was one of the one of the rightish wing guys was on a podcast and he's just like so this thing where I guess comedians talk shit about other comedians now and I was like now

there's a lot of that there's a lot of that there's a lot of people now are like wait what wait we do this yeah it's something we've always done yeah yeah I'm sure that didn't happen when the mob ran comedy

I don't think everyone said idly by why Andrew Dice Clay was fucking cooking at Madison Square Garden. Well, James, thank you for being here. Thank you for having. We love you. We celebrate you. Thanks. And Dave's name. You know what we do here.

We're going to go through an old newspaper. Can we do another take where you sound a little more excited about? A little bit old newspaper is. Okay, great. and can we do one more and your Sebastian Menoskeliko real quick just so we have it.

I want to read the older newspaper. Great stuff. And, okay, so you're going to guess the year. Dave's going to say you win. You might win, you might not. The fans know the truth.

Dave's a delusional liar. But go ahead and guess the year here for us James, Jimmy James. I'm going to go with five. Just five as in just the number five? Yeah, the year five. You can stick to your guess.

I am going to tell you that, well, I am going to tell you that, you know, it's probably not going to be five just because that's so old. I guess. But age is just a number. Okay, five. I'll go with six. I'm going to guess 1897. Okay. And I won.

Oh, I was close, though. Yeah, you were very close. Yeah, way closer. You weren't. You were further away. Yeah, I mean, it depends how you think about time. I think of it like in reality. Yeah, well, I think, I think, what?

Some people are straight reality. Yeah. What are you talking about? Some alien species. You're a straight white guy too. Don't live in linear time and they exist in all time at once. That's right. Choke on that.

All right. Time, boy. Let's just start. Have you never watched Star Trek? Yeah, I've watched Star Trek. Okay. But I also enjoyed sex. For the time travelers?

Yeah, sex was fun too. Go ahead. Did you ever watch Sex Track? It's a spaceship with this guy's fucking. Sex track. Totally have watched. That would be like on real sex. Parents would go to bed and you'd be like, whoa, sex tracks.

It's got to be hot and the ugliest nerds you've ever seen come out. Captain's load, 6-9, 6-9. I've finally banged a green. A green. Green. I ear-fucked her, Captain. This is April 28, 1897. Cream me up, Scotte.

Go ahead, sorry. The Green Bay Gazette. Green Bay Gazette? Fuck yes, James. She's hometown. Are you from? Are you from? Yeah, he is. He's from the south. Nope. No. No.

Green. Where did you allegedly grow? But north and south, we can just do whatever. I'm having a good time, and I'm not going to be shamed. Where are you from? Kentucky. James from Kentucky. Alleged.

And then I lived in Chicago. So I'm a Bears fan. Go bears. Where'd you lose your virginity, James? Whoa, way back of a horse. Yeah. In the back of a horse. we can't be doing that.

All right. And we're back. How to find out fill a bottle of common glass with urine and let it stand 24 hours. A sediment or settling indicates an unhealthy condition of the kidneys. Wow. What in the fuck just happened? We just found out some doctor stuff that's important. By the way, this is a Green Bay paper and IP in bottles.

This is awesome. going to be something we're going to need in five years. Yeah, this is going to be. This is American health care. When we run out of GoFund me funders. That's a better suggestion than anything RFK Jr. has suggested. Oh, my God.

Well, RFK's the Jr. is that you drink it. Yeah. And then you should. I like that they have to say, like, leave it alone for 24. There's a, don't touch my piss bottle, neighbors. Imagine being able to let it sit there for 24 hours.

Run it through. Now that shows real control. Strain it through a dead cat and then drink it. Cheryl, hand me the sediment. That's how I got sober from piss. I filled a bottle and I just looked at it for 24 hours. Man, it would be so great to be able to know exactly everything he's done. If I had one dream of, I want to know everything RFK.

I mean, it would just be crazy. I gave myself worms to know what it felt like to scoot like a dog on carpet. RFK. I think he's on a third penis eating story that we know of. He said it was three. Well, once you start. Penises. They're like little popcorn shrimp.

They really are. A wreck. He took a raccoon penis home to study. I mean, that is just this man is in charge of a lot of stuff. And he took a wreck. He was like, oh, this will be great. I'm going to take this into the lab. Dad?

Hold on. It's in the lab. This is unbelievable. Oh. When you're in stains linnon, it is positive evidence of kidney trouble. I love the idea that you have to pour your sedimented piss on your blankets. No, you can just pee on the, you can just pee on the, you can just pee on the fabric. I think you just pee on the metal man.

It's like a pregnancy test. You need to pee on your dress. Sally. Why'd you pee on my dress? I'm making sure my organs are good. Okay. This is a great time for the piss fetishists. Hey, one clear blue line.

What does that mean? I got a bad kidney or I'm okay? Too frequent desire to urinate or pain in the back is also convincing proof that the kidneys and bladder are out of order. Sure. Oh, they're out of order. You're out of order. This whole body's out of order. You have chlamydia.

Yeah. All right. Yeah. But what are you going to do? He's like, oh, these are returns. What do you do? Boy, this milk is bad. Hey, these are returns.

What are you doing in 1897? You're just fucked. I mean, no. Like you said, health care is coming full circle. Yeah. You just got to find a couple, two, three raccoon penises. Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

I love raccoon penises. In three years, there's going to be, you're going to go into a gas station. It's going to be a bag of raccoon penises. RFK, RFK Jr.'s raccoon dogs. You try the dill? The dill ones? The dill was nice. Cool cheddar.

No, these are bad. But I can't stop eating them. Doctor said I had to get off pork rinds. So I'm on raccoon penises. RFCA style. I make sure that every one of these has been in my mouth. That's what it says on the bag with a little cartoon to him. He's just got one to come out of his mouth on the picture.

Try to blow them up like balloons before you eat them. Cheryl. Oh, poor Cheryl. Cheryl flavored. She's a murderer also. Come on. I'm a poor in spirit. Poor in integrity.

Yeah. Oh, fuck. Just running after him alone was the funniest. Oh, the fucking greatest thing ever. It made the whole assassination attempt worth it. Oh, the whole, that was so fucking, the way that she was like, heels trying to step it off a stage during a

assassination. She's getting left. Eight guys at RFK. She probably went backstage and they were probably like, Cheryl, get the fuck out of here. Nobody protected me. Cheryl, please leave us alone. Like anybody gives a fuck about him. Yeah.

We had talked about it on the Chalup, which is our thing on Patreon that we do when we talk about topical stuff. And I was completely wrong because I was like, I was like, hey, what happened there? Like the guy just like ran through a place where there was no metal detector or people. Like he must have just, I was just in my mind, envisioning. I never thought, which is the most obvious thing, that there is a metal detector.

And then just a bunch of cops and dudes standing around not looking at anything. Yeah. It's just like look at the ground. Didn't one guy take the detector down like right before he ran in or one of them? Well, he was like, he was definitely fucking with something off to the side of the It is remarkable to see a, first of all, stop calling him the Secret Service. Now, we all know about it because of all the failures. But for those failures to be so enormous that Trump is like, I need a nuclear-proof ballroom.

And you're like, what if you just started training these guys again? Like, remember when you just trained? Like for a long time, they just were always trained. I mean, a guy, one guy put his finger in his ear. Yeah, they're not doing the finger ear. They're not doing the sleeve chat. Yeah. I mean, he was literally running down a hallway with a shotgun before he got to the

metal detector. No one looked up. Who the fuck is that guy? He was assembling, like, outside while a canine cop was staring at him. And the dog was like, leaning towards the outside. And the cop was like, oh, dogs probably being a ghost or something. It is. Probably wants to go eat more poop.

Yeah. Like RFK Jr. Come on. Yeah. Oh, he smells the RFK on you. Oh, he's smelling your raccoon penis. He just lets the dog in his mouth sniff and lick. I, yeah, he'll like that.

He can actually, they say that RFK Jr. can smell a raccoon penis from two miles away. Oh, yeah. He's just on a hike with Cheryl. And he's like, I must dissent over yonder. there's two coondongs It's time to get licking I don't know She leaves a trail of him

When he gets lost Or can find his way home Through binoculars Just like seeing him Mow the crotch of a living raccoon Is the human Is the health and services Director

Eating out a raccoon Ask not what happened Of my throat Blah blah blah Oh yeah I'm the Unkillable Kennedy I think that's what he's doing

You all wanted us to live longer. Look what you got. 50 is when we're supposed to go. This is what happens to all of us if we age past 50. You should fear 80. He's in a raccoon costume sucking his own dick. Oh, that's nice. Oh, my God.

R.FK. This is a natural ending. I'm going to barrel roll down a hill sucking my own. own raccoon penis. Honey. Honey. Which Super Mario is that? Oh, fuck. You know, they have fresh refrigerated raccoon dogs? I don't want that. All the enzymes are gone. You have to keep it in the sun. It has the sun dry like a tomato. Oh, yeah. No, no. No. Fuck. Okay.

All right. Are you a raccoon penis in this paper? There's more. That'll be more. My God. Just tearing the fur out of a raccoon with his mouth. You've got to find the good penis. The good penises are deep inside.

God damn it, this one has a vagina. Yucky. I eat everything but the tail. That I put in my ass I shake my little shit around for Cheryl That he does try to fly like Mario If I get enough speed and I have the tail coming out of my ass I can fly

Like in the third one Honey come to bed You don't understand me Eating garbage The trash made me strong again Cheryl Honey sit down Sit down. I hate it all.

That way we don't have to take it out. Just the recyclables. Honey, sit down. I wash my little hands in water in the dog bowl. Oh, that's good. Here, take some of my urine. Put it on so you can't find yourself. Honey, honey, honey.

You're so worked up. You're so worked up. You can use my tail as a cap. Cheryl. Cheryl. Oh, God. Imagine like the, the next day, like, I had a very

strange dream last night. You're like, oh, fuck, here we go. Oh, boy. Here we go. Here we go. You know how big a whale's dog is? I beat up of moyle and ate his briefcases of four skins. Honey.

Honey. There's a human shape outline through the doggy door. Oh, I think you got out last night. Oh, I ran out really late. Yeah. I know how to stop psoriasis. I ate Robert's car. What?

I ate the neighbor's car. Oh, my God. All serious. And like moonlight on his face. Am I truck a sorres? Honey, sit down. Honey, sit down.

Honey, come to bed and sit down. Sorry, I haven't had a raccoon penis in a while. Here, eat a raccoon penis and calm down. She takes it out of an orange pill bottle. Take two. Vermon's Valium. Can we go out tomorrow and look for roadkill? I think you should probably take the weekend and stay inside.

Kid Rock texted me. Do not read that. Do not read that. Am I trachosaurus? Oh, no. It's time for a human food day, honey. Oh, God. Oh, God.

I hate him. human food, dad. I can eat a human. No. No, no, no, no. I'm gonna get diarrhea again. No, no, no, honey. No, your stomach, remember what the doctor said?

You can't do this five days in a row. Can I put roadkill between bread? I'm gonna go drink that bad creek water. Honey. No. Face down for an hour. I will get gills. I cut gills in my neck again.

That doesn't make you a fish, hon. I am fish, man. Again, he thinks he's a different Mario every day. Yeah. He's just taking out the pieces of shrimp and only eating the tails. Oh, yeah. God, it hurts, but it's so good for you. Oh, that's good.

That's the only way to it your asshole. That's where you get vitamin C. That's perfect. Oh. That hurts. Pistano. Him on DoorDash. Jesus Christ, this order is crazy.

This guy just ordered 90 sides of jalapinos. No substitutions. No. This guy just checked no substitution. In the notes, he wrote no substitutions. If they're hot of frog eyes, cancel the order. In the special instructions, it just said, come up and eat it with me.

What the hell? Sorry about the smell of death. Meet me on the roof. You and I will eat above the chimney. With the gods. I need the beef pink. Anyway, I'm going to dig up dad and eat him.

That's what all this training's been for. Time to eat dad. Honey, honey, sit down. You're so worked up. The most dangerous game. Father.

He'll cure my dropsy. What is dropsy? It's like, I think it was any kind of pneumonia, probably, but like something. I thought it was poop. It sounds like it.

It's all poop related. Everything is poop related. That's why you have to stop doing it. What? You have to stop pooping. It's the only way. Oh, no, Robert. Oh, no, you can't.

Bobby. It's the only way. It can come out of every other hole just on the back one. No, Bobby. The back ones for hiding goods and services. Services? That's right. plug it hard enough

you'll secrete it I will not play I will not play the games I will not use the toilet that's not really games it's more what's the noise you're making I'm the color of pha

yes yes you're shit in years this explains everything hold on I must battle it to turn it into puke again make the shit come out of your pores and you're winning. The pores come out like an earthworm.

Over there, a raccoon. I mean, anything I read now is going to be. Literally a half hour. It's just R.K. Cheard your chokes. The pastimes is brought to you by Cash app. Have you ever noticed that on, let's just say, there's a certain social media site that has, like, ads from, like, scammers? Oh, yeah.

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That's SQU-A-R-E dot com slash geo-slash dollop. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. It can at least be said to the credit of our Green Bay burglars that they have burglars. That they have extremely modest ideas as to the amount of plunder to be carried away. You don't want to overdo it. Just straight a month.

The pettiness of numerous robberies reported in the Gazette columns yesterday tends to discourage the current theory that professional burglars are at work. Expert burglars are not usually thus given to wasting their effort. So they're... Shaming and moderate burglars? Yeah, they're just, they're going in. I told you we could get inside a Tad's house.

Now let's get the fuck out of here. The pettiness of the robberies. So they're taking like little, little things. Weird little shit. Take his Apple TV remote. That'll fucking, that'll fucking fuck his brain up. He'll go nuts for that one. That would be pretty fun to break into people's houses.

Just take Apple TV remotes. By the way, because it's small enough to believe it's there still. Oh, yeah. So you'd always be like, I know it's in here. God damn it. It is way too small. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like an oily wafer. It is like an oily wafer. What are you saying? What would they call it Apple TV if you didn't, you weren't supposed to ingest the remote. Bobby. Now, use my tits. Use my tits to bring up Disney Plus.

There you go, Cheryl. Time to go to bed, put on your jeans. That's perfect. I'm going to put on my shirt jeans and my bottom jeans. I got to put my bed jeans on. Oh, yeah. Rabies at second hand. I'll try some.

A five months old baby has just been taken to the Pasteur Institute in New York. The child was bitten by a cat, which several months ago was bitten by a mad dog. Hello, I'm Dr. Pastori. Yes. Wait. The cat had fucking rabies. And then a mad cat, bit of a child? A bit of a baby.

But it was months later. That's the crazy thing. Yeah, so it's fine. What, what happens with rabies? What happened? What happened? You just, what, with rabies? You just phoned and die from infection?

Yeah, you did. The cat get the jab? James, we really have asked you to not do that on this. We know your VAC stuff. So, but honestly, please keep it off the show. Okay? That's for your, that's for your, that's for your. X.

The cure I won't talk to me anymore because I'm crazy. James. During COVID. Oh, boy. Wait a minute. Didn't you have a raccoon infest?

No, you had skunks. Oh, come on, man. That would just be great for RFK. That's the way to get. We let him under the house and he got rid of them. Oh, yeah. Give me your stinky bags.

Now your cats. I've been called for another skunk clear out. I took all your, I took all the skunk stinky bags and now they're kittens. The skunks are still there, but I took the penises. I took the virgins. The virgins come with me. They'll live in my cave. That wasn't the job we hired you for.

We didn't hire you to come under the house and just take the skunks' penises. Did you say come under the house? Okay. No, why do I know? No worry. So I fixed the problem. None of the skunks have penises anymore. I've got a big bag full of their penises.

You're so close. There you go. Remove the whole, okay, you see the thing around the penis, the skunk? No, no. The dill picker. Oh, the other parts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The useless part of fur around the penis.

What did you call it? That, we want you to get rid of all of it. The fur, the penis container. No. No, the penises are gone. Yeah, the penis is. What's a good way to frame the thing around? Yeah, but maybe walk me through what you're looking for because I got rid of all the

penises and I've taken them. Oh, I've got it. I've got it. Look down at your own body. Yes. Look down. Jeans. Okay.

Take your jeans on. Okay, another pair of jeans. And, uh, oh, shit. I didn't think how much, your multiple jeans. Do you need me to take these jeans off? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shit. The tighter.

set of jeans. Take three more jeans off. Are we there? Jeans. This is jeans. Hi, this is Cheryl. He actually had his skin removed and jeans put on. My bones are jeans.

Everything's jeans. Hey, why don't we all figure this out over a little bit of the skunk penis? Okay. So you're, look at your jeans penis episode title. Look at your jeans penis. Okay. It's the thing, it's the genes that, like, it's the thing that hangs from the other gene.

The middle. No way. Okay. Okay. Everything you're describing. You know how raccoons have a penis? Yes, raccoons have penis. I think he's thinking about your penis.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. You know the stuff you put in all the hundreds of other women that aren't me. Oh, right. Yeah. You know. Have you ever, have you ever looked closely at how many teeth I'm missing? It's pretty crazy.

I'm a Kennedy. And I have like four visible teeth missing. That should be a red flag. Did you hear him breathing at the congressional thing? That was like the funniest thing I ever fucking heard. In between questions, he was like, Really? He's mostly critter at this point.

He's what we call a critter now. Okay. All right. All right. Here we go. Come on. We can do another one. We can do another one.

I mean, I think we can do a podcast once a month with James where we just talk about our FK. Oh, God. Married 18 times. Yes. He was 99 years old when she died but was recently married. Oh, wow. This is a Michigan story.

The funeral of Christina Buna Cassell was held here Friday. She was 99 years old and was married 18 times. Wow. The last time, only a few months ago, to a young man. She was quite well off, but did a man's work. such as chopping wood and similar manual labor. Okay. So he married her for money, the last guy.

Sure. Right. 18 guys just waiting for this rich broad to die. Yeah. They didn't make it. That last guy just came in. Anna Nicole Smith. Did a month's work, boom.

Did a month's worth of work. Yeah. By the way, and at that point, I mean, there's very little. Anna Nicole did that for nothing because she never got any money. Well, but she thought she was going to get money. Yeah, she thought she was going to. It was also. Yeah, you're right.

It was love. She loved that. She had a tough Tough last few years Santa Colesmith Yeah, that didn't go well It didn't go well. It became

And E was like, let's film it Yeah, it was pretty much Pretty great Pretty great Let's see what it's like When Valium has a dog Ha ha ha ha We're a good society

I think Oh yeah Yeah She was the best of us Yeah she was She was the future Stole a Fortune. A Georgia bank cashier misappropriates $45,000. Good work. Private speculation causes the

downfall of an Atlanta man. His friends and relatives make good the amount. No rest is made. What? A sensation was created today when it was announced that Harry Kassan, a cashier of the Georgia loan savings and bank company, had misappropriated $45,000 in funds of the institution. private speculation is alleged to be the cause there will be no prosecution as friends and relatives has made good on the shortage i like how they did a headline that told the whole story and then they told the story so they made good that's how that's how it works if you got rich friends yeah yeah get away with it yeah yeah yeah it's gonna be fine oh we can cover it we can cover it yeah we got that jimmy yeah yeah we're like good to go i wonder how much that is in uh we're We're, by the way, we're like in a good zone.

What was it? This is how much? It was 45,000. Corey Ryan Forrester swears that he can tell you he can do the calculation for any. In his head? Yes. No, he's out of his fucking tree. Has he ever met himself?

It's the craziest thing he's ever said. Who? It's always worth. Cory Wright. I'm going to call him real quick and see if he, 45. In what year? 45,000. In five.

Year five? Year five. It's 1897. Okay. And then you'll check his mouth because he said this on something the other day. Okay. What's up, buddy? Hey, dude, we're recording a pastimes, and you can do the calculation of a price, like $45,000.

You can tell us what it would be in today's money if I give you the year, right? I'm usually pretty good at that, yeah. Okay. Let's try it. Dave, what year? 1897. 1897. $197, $45,000.

I would say $2.9 million. $2.9 million. You're only off by a million. Pretty good, though. 1.9? 1.9? 1.8 million. Okay.

Yeah. All right. That's not too awful. It's pretty bad. Actually, it's pretty bad. It's off by a million. It's pretty bad. To the IRS.

I'm not worried about it. It's nothing. Hey, I hope you both got. I love you. Bye. I do it. Okay, I'm a fan. You know him?

He's the fucking greatest. So fucking funny. But he said that the other day and I was like, really? He's like, oh, yeah. Well, he was wrong. Ravies at secondhand. Oh, no, we already did that. Oh, I was going to say.

That's RFK's order at Chili's. I don't want to suck it right out of the dick. I'm a Kennedy. Worse than disease. Woes of a Dutch physician who built a hygiene house. Okay. Is that hygiene or is that I can't? Oh, hygienic.

I think it's hygienic house. Whatever. Hard to read. What is called a hygienic house, yes, that's what it is. What is called the hygienic house has just been built by a Dutch physician and illustrates rather forcibly the possibility of preventative measures being worse to undergo

than several maladies, says the New York Times. Wow. So they're saying cleaning. Clean is the new saying. Cleaning is bad. Rub-d-durned it. God. What a phase. That's what I've been saying. Honestly. He's the guy who's swimming like that

poop creek and he was like, here, here. He took his grandkids to it. Yeah, he took his grandkids to it. He's like, get nice of poopy now. Go poopie for grandpappy. Call me grand poopy. Just swimming and poop. Swimming and poop. And he's like, literally like.

And they're swimming in poop. Let me tell you how to stop measles. Sorry, sir. Didn't you swim and poop a week ago? I did, yes. You have to make the body so unattractive. Even measles don't want to get inside. The only way to get this color is,

a living poop for a little while. Now put your jeans on. We're going in the water. Cheryl, get me my swimming jeans. The walls of this extremely modern and scientific dwelling are made of parallel plates of ground glass several inches apart or salts of soda between them.

What? What? Okay. You're walking around on glass plates? No, I think it's the walls. The wall. Glass walls. Okay, my bad. The walls.

Glass floor is stupid. Glass walls makes no sense, yeah. These plates are... No one throws a stone at this house. Especially those inside. Yeah. These plates are fixed in metal frames by which they are built together. The roof is not translucent and is made of materials which are impervious to heat,

thus keeping out the sunshine and holding in the warmth of the rooms. Ooh. I'm starting to come around a little on this. The house is to be entered by a lot. an underground door to which a stair leads the air also

This is crazy We are mold people He just goes in like a looney tune Jesus Christ He's spot like a top Oh he's a critter all right Yeah I don't go hunt

You know what they say about that new Kennedy boy? That dog will hunt. That dog will hunt. The air also enters underground. The air also enters underground and passes through a microbe filter of cotton wool and glycerin. What the hell is happening? Well, filters, that's good. He's ahead of shit with the filter.

The whole thing, I'm into the whole thing, but it does sound like if a three-year-old designed a house. It circulates through the rooms by means of gratings and escapes under the roof. The house is heated by the sun, except when a stove is found to be necessary. Okay, so sometimes it can't do it. Yeah, because it's, you know, raining over. I like this. The salt solution between the panes absorb the heat by day and give it forth by night.

So they really are trying, yeah, this is a solar. Not a bad, yeah. Or a murder house. Or a murder house. Yeah, it could be a murder house. But that's the same thing, solar house murder house. The screens will not pass through the water. walls.

Impervious to screams. Blood just runs off the glass. We'll see about that. In summer, the air is cooled by its passage underground and tempers the tropical warmth of the climate. The illumination inside is diffused from all parts of the walls, but there are no windows out of which the inhabitants can look, and it is difficult to see how they will be able to endure life in a place so horribly wholesome endole.

So this is like a mish home. It's a madness box. I mean, they're trying. Yeah. They're trying to make something better. No windows. Yes. No windows is crazy.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't hate it. I mean, by the way. Yeah, I've lived in a place from the windows before. I was going to say, our studio is a windowless box. Do you remember when that guy, that billionaire, like last year? It's a content home.

It's all green screens. Do you remember when that billionaire came up with that idea for cheaper dorms at colleges, and it was like two-thirds of the rooms didn't have windows? And everyone was like, no, bad? It's a good idea. It's like Ryanair. Like the way they keep testing it. And no, saying Ryanair went out of business, you're like, yeah.

No, spirit. Spirit air. I was saying spirit went out of business. It's like, yeah, they were, the stories are legendary. It's crazy. Yeah. By the way, front. went out of business before, and it was better than Spirit Airlines.

Yeah. But Frontier right now is like, Halloween was better. Oh, shit. Yeah, Frontier. They're like for next, yeah. Spirit Halloween Airlines. By the way, that would have been the nice Hail Mary to just be like costumes only. Like best costume gets first class.

The pilot is a vampire. You show up as the pilot. Right here. sir. No, I meant, okay. Every time you open the bathroom door. God out of jail. Okay. Three prisoners escape from the county.

God out of jail. Yeah, God's out. God's out of jail. And I'm fucking pissed. Three prisoners escape from the county Bastille. Three prisoners escaped from the county jail Saturday night. their name is being Thomas Dupre, Charles Anderson, and Martin Nellon. By an ingenious contrivance made of a piece of wire and a broomstick,

they succeeded in opening the steel cage in which they were confirmed. A section of heavy ventilating pipe was uncovered from its place, and with this, for a lever, two bars were broken from an outside window, and they escaped down a rope made from their blankets. It's classic. Classic. Early stuff there. Yeah.

Their escape was discovered at daylight Sunday morning, and Sheriff Scherer and his assistants were making every possible effort to apprehend the fellows. The two men were arrested at Pembine yesterday on suspicion, but they were not the persons wanted. So much easier to escape back then, just like a dream. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Like once you got out, you basically won like it was over. Yeah, he was over. You really just need a fake mustache. you're good to go. Yeah. But I mean, you would just, they would, the bar,

I'm sure you could just get out so fucking easily. Yeah. It's like, the prisons we see now have over time got like this. Yeah. You used to just be like,

stay in this room. Shit. Prey is from Depeer and was a waiting trial for a highway robbery and Anderson was serving a sentence for breaking out of jail several months ago.

My man. And Nellon, was awaiting trial in Milwaukee for selling liquor to Indians. You can't be doing that. No. Yeah. Wait, what? You went to jail?

Can't do that. Yep. Yeah. They're not allowed to have that. The way we treated people who sold liquor to Indians in this country is just deplored. Disgusting. Disgusting. What this otherwise highly favored town needs is a jail that will hold prisoners.

Sheriff Shower has... You need those words. Sheriff Shower has a... a right to wash his hands of responsibility for safekeeping of his jailbirds until a place of safe keeping is provided. So it's a shitty jail. Yeah. I'm all for it. I am too.

You know what they need? You know what that jail needs to be? A box with no windows. Yes. That's what, yeah, that's obvious. Underground entrance. Thank you. Yes. And salt. Perfect. Don't worry. Eventually, this country will correct

the errors of early prison technology. Oh, yeah, it's the only thing will correct. Now eventually we'll have detention centers that run on screams. Don't you worry. And it'll be economic. And our blueest, the goal will be the economy. And two fires.

Yes. Yeah, that sounds great. Yes. Don't you worry. Detects death. Yes. Professor Friedrich, a German scientist, claims to have made a discovery. Well, never good.

Professor and Friedrich, yeah. I figured out how to take the bones out of a live human. Yeah. To become a professor in Germany back then was like, that's not good. He has a major in acid. While studying the Runtgen, rontogen rays that has caused considerable comment in scientific circles. This discovery, he has communicated to the Vienna Imperial Academy of Science.

He has given it the name Critic Rays, which and believes they are, sorry, given the name of critic rays and believes they reveal with absolute reliability the entrance of death into the body. Whoa. Okay. Sure. So he thinks death enters the body. But this is a way to keep it out maybe.

With the rays. Yeah. Yeah. Airtight. Airtight. Not a note. These rays are directed out of a vacuum tube and can almost immediately penetrate the body. Yeah.

100%. This is what we use now. Yeah. So you're just shooting it through a vacuum. Do you want to live forever? Get over here. particular ray and vacuum. So I'm going to put vacuum on you.

Okay. I'm really scared of dying. Yeah, this is going to help. Yeah, this is. I got dropsy and dropsy. Oh, see, this is perfect. We've actually tried this on, we've actually tried this on nobody. So this would be really great.

Yeah. The three rabbits, dropsy, popsy, clopsy and propsy. where's dropsy I got all of them I got all three of the death rabbits you have like a leaf blower that can what can chase away death well ray a ray leaf blower

yeah hi no ray's my name you can blow me hi this is ray if you blow him you live forever he's gonna hold buddies while you do it I mean this German guy's making me do it I don't know just let his dick get sucked Jesus Christ Hold on

It's the only way to achieve immortality Let me get the camera There you are Fucks the death out of the man That's nice That's nice And now I'm going to eat a plate of shit

And then I'm going to eat him Oh gosh Jesus Christ Not him again Hello. I am become death. Eater of shit. I ate the Grim Reaper with Casey Masterpiece. Oh, my God.

What? Now what? I don't know. Nobody can calculate some of the moves you're pulling. I can consume anything. I mean everything. Why won't God let me die? I'm literally begging for death.

My God, I look like a tomato. I've been hammering my teeth You're watching me turn into leather And the color of a crayon they can't create Oh my god This guy is really creeping me out Oh okay They produce images on the photographic plate

Which are of a different character According as they are taken of a living Or dead subject So they're x-rays Oh, okay There you go. If the hand, for instance, appears as does the living hand under the rontogen raise, with all the bones clearly distinguished, then the person is alive.

No, that's absolutely not true. What the hell? Look, you can see. All your fingers are tears together. Everyone knows this. That's why everybody becomes a big pile of skin at death. So they invented X-rays and they came up with the craziest conclusion. That's the best.

That's the best. And he's like, this ray will, this ray will determine if someone's alive or not. Isn't it also just a way to see bones? Yeah, but they're like, you don't want that. Yeah, no, but what if a bone's broken? No, it says you're alive. Then you're alive. Here, let me break your bones.

If you scream, you're alive. See, there you go. See, you're alive. If bones, everyone knows that. I mean, not getting the proper patent. Not that either. I'm going to patent that to make it for seeing bones. Wait, what?

How are you? Great stuff. If, however, the hand has not yield its characteristic form, the person to whom it belongs is undoubtedly dead. What? He has made many experiments before arriving at this conclusion. If the professor is right, the new vacuum tubes will be of great assistance in conducting post-mortem examinations.

It's called tube maxing. This is when you need, like, trusted someone to, like, say maybe not. You know, this guy was not, no. Yeah. Yeah. Someone. We just need some position of authority. We're like, this guy's got it.

You did a great job building the X-ray machine. Don't get me wrong. Thank you. Yeah. But I don't think. Step inside. I don't want to. Wait, bones are good.

I want to go for a ride. Is that smashing pumpkins? That's right, yeah. What do you got? Despite all my rage. My race. Despite all my race. We are fun.

Children of Satan. Yes. No, James, it's an article. It's an article. Oh, I thought I was being summoned again by Dave, the grand one. Hey, what? I'm a grand. Yeah.

Wait a minute. Hold on a second. Reveal. Yeah, careful. Yeah. That's the problem with the KKK's wimsy names. Dungeons and Dragons is like, God, we got to be careful. We're one hood away from being a clan.

This guy's a real. Grand Dragon, if you know what I'm. No, no, no. I'm the head wizard. No, you're not. No, you're not. An English operatic company whose members recently returned to London after tour in Scotland had a curious experience in one of the inland towns where a performance was given. It was one of those places where among certain classes, the animus against theaters is almost as great as the consumption of whiskey. Oh, wow. So you hate theater and drink whiskey?

I think they're saying it goes together. It's a hell of a club. As it was the last halt in the tour, the members of the troop agreed to have themselves photographed and accordingly went to the local photographer and explained their intention. Very well, replied the Scotchman, I shall be very glad to a tour. take a year, I can't do. It's the way it's written. It's written in a kind of book.

Oh, really? It's got like all the apostrophies and stuff. Yeah, it's written this way, so it's hard to read. That's how train spotting's written. It's very tough reading. Oh, yeah, that's right. It is. So all those books are written like that. Yeah, it's very, yeah, it's difficult.

I shall be very glad to take your portraits for you seem a deuce and respect. You seem a deuce and a sports. Set alates and gentlemen. You want to try? Yeah, do you want to try? read that? Why don't you read the story? Since you're all fucking scotch. All right.

As it was the last halt in the tour, blah, blah, blah. Okay, I explained their intention. It's just a little one I've been looking at. Very well, replied the Scotchman. I said, I shall be very glad to take your portraits, for you seem

a deuce, unrespectable seolades and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen. And as we are artists, suggested the principal tenor. And there are lots of us, perhaps you'd see no objection and making some reduction from your usual prices. Ear test area, said the photographer.

Adinikine, what that may be. But what day ye day, may I spear? Oh, answered the tenor. Who fortunately understood the scotch language. Who fortunately understood the scot language? We are singers in the kirk, queried the camera manipulator. Oh, no, replied the other. we are the opera company who are performing at the theatre.

The Scotchman took a skip backwards, raised his arm in the air and cried, Awah, we, ye, awa, wee, ye are devils barns. Ye are, and I want not for grief. Ye for nothing, I mean, for only thing ye will offer me. No, not for, ah, the money, you take in a week for playing Satan's antics on the brood. artists ye car yourselves

ye are children of the devil ye are and he ordered them out and shut the door against them this is the reason why no authentic

photographer of that opera troupe will be handed down for posterity for next day the tour ended and the members dispersed to their

homes London Telegraph Oh my God fuck Hell yeah Dave you were gonna try to read all that Yeah, it was.

A bit of a tough, that would have a bit of a disaster. Yeah. That's a pretty well-written accent. Yeah, it is. Be yourselves. Trust the process, my tongue said. By the way, mine said that. Last one.

All right. He found him insane. Uh-oh. Nels Elfson, a resident of the west side. Sure. Nels Elfson. Nels Elfson. Was a judged insane today by Dr. Beck and Bartron

and was taken to the county asylum, it being thought that with proper care, he would recover in a short time. You'll be back in no time. Yeah, we're just taking one. You don't want to go to the county one, not the city one. No, we're going to take you to the place

where we chain you to the wall. You just need a week of wall chaining, and then your head's going to be right. It'll be very great. You'll be chained to a wall. There'll be tons of screaming. we come through You get a cheese sandwich at noon every day

A cheese sandwich at noon Now that'll be shoved down your throat Yeah that's gonna be pushed down you like Baby Bird style It's cheddar It's county cheddar County cheddar Well it's Wisconsin so we're gonna chat

It's Wisconsin County Cheddar We're not gonna go get cheese Yeah and it's a big thick piece of it too It's a thick piece of it too It's a thick piece of cheese The cheese is thick of the bread I think they might import bad cheese Just to be mean

Okay You know what I can tell that you're maybe gonna take a little bit longer than most projects. This is actually why you're chained to the wall. I'm being negative. You're chaining me to a wall. Well, first of all, we wouldn't have to change to the wall if you didn't have this attitude. Okay, dokey.

This is why you're a big attitude. Do you try walking around with the name Niels Elfskin? I'm Ruppelstilskine. Wait a minute. First of all, your name is Nels Elfson. Yeah, the name that Rumpel Stiltskin stays in hotels under. Yeah. Okay.

Now he's laughing. He's having a good time. Whatever it takes. According to you. I do like him. Why does mad mean insane and angry? It's so confusing. And then...

Are you still in character? Are we doing a bit? Or are you back to being James Fritz? I'm not doing well, guys. Oh, no. I think that's James Fritz. Yeah. Okay.

Now we know it's James. I am I He's that a good I suck all my money into squirrel penises This is James This is James Oh god I didn't think raccoon penises

Would be the way to go Yeah It really looked like it would be squirrel penises For a while But you know what it turns out too small Oh my God If he fucking started If RFK started a meme coin

That was squirrel penis My squirrel penis My squirrel penis Coin is live Um The examination was conducted before Judge Huntington, Elson is not in any way

disposed to be violent and at times his mind is evidently clear. He is unmistakably off. However, at intervals, but the physicians think he is not incurable. Wow. Professional I noticed us. Sir, you're off.

You're off. You're way off. And if you follow me to the off ward. I'd like a second opinion. Come in here, doctor. Oh yeah, this guy is I don't know, I'm a baby, a baby a little bit of a

He's also Pff, oh, James, you're an absolute pleasure. Oh, maybe, will you come on

one of our Chalup episodes? I'll just pull some RFK stuff and we'll have a little giggle on Patreon. That sounds great.

I'll just, we'll do some RFK files, the ones you don't want released. So James, where can people get your latest album? Give us the hard. You can get it on special thing,

records.com or net. Who knows? Try them both. You can follow me on Instagram at Fritz is dead. And I will be on Netflix is a joke. What are you doing there?

Protesting for Bobby? I'm protesting. That's so funny. I'm opening. I'm open. opening up for a what's his name pork chop or jelly roll I'm opening for jelly roll and a woman who's on a housewife show who's never performed live it's going to be fun that's cool I'm opening for the American Nazi party over there ain't no party oh shit oh my god that fucking

the idea of doing a 700 seat theater and being like I have no material I've never done Someone gets $500. Jesus Christ. You know what? Netflix is a joke. Yeah. All right, James. Love you.

Me too. Stay there.