The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 178 - The Past Times with Justin Martindale

Episode Date: June 13, 2026

Dave Anthony reads a paper to co-host Gareth Reynolds and comedian Justin MartindaleSOURCESTOUR DATESOFFICIAL MERCHHIMSMint MobileRocketmoney SquareSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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It's a podcast. Someone's finally doing it. You know what we do here each week. We go through a newspaper from a random date in history picked out by none other than Dave Anthony. I, Gareth Reynolds, have never seen it. And neither has this week's guest. the great Justin Martin Dale. Hello, Justin.

Hello, boys. Thanks for having me. Well, it sounds like I'm not trying to talk about off-camera, but it sounds like you've had a very busy morning already. So thank you for fitting us in. Of course, of course. Things are happening over there. Well, yeah, you know, it's, I mean, I think the town's on fire again.

So, yeah. No, yeah. I drove by a, like many trees burning on the freeway yesterday. It looked very fresh. And all of us were like, no, that's got to keep going. But bad, not good. Yeah. I mean, it is a Wednesday.

So if the town's not burning, what are we doing? That's right. And then isn't it strange as you continue to go through this business, you start wondering, should I be bothering? The business takes a while. Do we have two years to let things develop? You know what's so funny is that I saw this morning, there was some Instagram video of this woman being like, I guess there's like this radioactive field here in Los Angeles.

I was texting Dave about yesterday. Yeah. And I'm like, if that catches on fire, and I'm like, can I just, can I just have coffee first before like, onset panic sets in about, because I know my mom's going to hear that story. and it's going to be brutal the amount of like worry. Like get out.

Save yourself. You're getting mutate. Get out. Get out might not be the right move. Stay in. I know. Stay in. Yeah. I'm like,

if I get mutant powers, then maybe yes, it's worth it. But like, I like that for you. I've lived in northern L.A. County for like 10 years. And I want to say three times now,

they've been like, that radioactive place is going to burn down. This is the third time. Well, I guess, well, all right, look, let's not Monday morning quarterback, but the lesson might be, burying it is not the move.

No, no, it's good. And we got to go further if we're going to, maybe, I don't know, I don't have the salt. I have an idea. I have a solve. Set it on fire. Well, that's the,

that's God's, God's doing that. Speaking of God, Justin, you're mega and into religion. What, what can we promote for you? You have your,

I've been on your podcast. I don't know if you remembered on your podcast. I DMed Britney Spears. Never heard back. Yes, you did. Where can people listen to your podcast? How do you explain your podcast? It's kind of like a pop culture chat fest.

It's like a pop culture chat fest with like comics and people who are in the entertainment industry, friends of mine. And we just kind of sit and kind of go through pop culture today, pop culture yesterday, kind of topics that are circulating throughout our never-ending vicious news cycle. So it's just kind of like, you know, we have gay, straight, all of it. All too. And it's just kind of getting both. You refuse the buy community. Absolutely.

I do not stand with the buy community. Make a choice. You've always, and I'm ready to hear, you've called them wishy-washy. Do you stand by that? That was a quote taken out of context, okay? Okay. No, everyone, everyone, everyone is welcome. It's just fun to, like, sit down and, and chat with people who actually either know what I'm talking about or don't know what I'm talking about and then, like, informing them and on it.

So, yeah, we have a good time. It is a hilarious show. It's called Just A-in with Justin Martindale, yeah. Yeah, and I've not heard back from Brittany. If I do, we will update things there. You've got big Hollywood meetings But, Justin, you're not here to brag I think he is, no

Even though you are quite braggadocia We're going to go through an old stinky newspaper And Dave has it now Hold on a second Justin, Dave's done something to his finger Why are you medically taped there? Oh, you know what I did? I put together a little shed thing in my backyard

Dave put together a shed And my finger hurt afterwards I must have tweaked it somehow And then I tweet I looked at it last night and it was like it was like just swollen up. The tip of it was just like swollen. It could be that nuclear smoke.

It could be the, oh, I did go by and dip my You might be swear man. I dipped my middle finger in that. That's what it is. Able to tell people to fuck off. It's like the big fake hitchhiker thumb. You can see it now.

It's very clear. All right, Justin, so you will, we're going to guess what year this paper will be from. It doesn't really matter. There's no context. No real point to why we do this, honestly. but like we were alluding to earlier, there's no real point to anything. So why poke holes here?

Can I just say I stopped paying attention to celebrities because there are so many of them. I couldn't keep track anymore. Well, has anyone ever pitched you on coming on your podcast less, Justin? No, but I really at one point, I was just like, I can't keep track of everybody. Oh, yeah, no, no, no. It's a whole thing. It's interesting because I'll get people who were like, yeah, we want to come to your podcast. And I'm like, who?

Oh, the best. Who are you? That's the best. I've got seven. Yeah, you're the guy who cracked a watermelon in between his legs. All right. I had him on one of my podcasts. He's great.

But then, and then you'll be like, who the fuck is? And then you'll be like, 4.1 million five. Who is this? What's happening? Let's go. Yeah, that's right. You're on the show. We're still trying to get clavicular on.

Oh, what a jam that one is. We said the show's called paper maxing. Clivicular is clearly going to have a very long life. I think, yeah, clearly, yeah. He's doing real good. He's the hottest, he's the hottest person with mental illness, I think, that we've ever seen. I don't know.

You know what I mean? Well, I just, I don't see a downside to malleting your head regularly. No, it's fine. Well, and that's what blows my mind, too, about clavicular. It's just like what girl in their right mind was like, he took a hammering. to his face. I think there was one where he was like hammering a girl's fit.

I just, yeah, no, it's not good. That's what every dad wants to hear, you know? I mean, it's a strange day and age where like if you, if your partner shows up with a black guy and you say, I hit her with a hammer, that makes sense. Yeah, you're like, well, I want her to be pretty. She's going to be hot now. Yeah, I'm having.

Himmerder. Every Christmas, I would buy him a new hammer if I knew him. Yeah, proms next week. I make sure she's chiseled. We're ready to go. All right, Justin, you're going to guess what year this paper's from. Could be 1700s, could be 1800s, could be 1900s, could be 1900s. We did 2,000 once.

But no context. Shot in the dark guess. Dave's going to say you win probably because he's, you know, he's mentally unstable. Hey, you need to calm down. Okay. Go ahead, Justin. I'll guess after you. So I'm throwing out a year of what this paper is from.

It's random. Random. It's a random. It's like, okay. The year that's coming to mind, I'm feeling 1863. It's a great guess. It's a great guess. I love the guess.

We'll see. I'll do 1908. Ooh, you're too close, so you lose. It is 1930. Oh. Justin wins. That was my next guest. Justin wins.

It was whoever was closer. loses. That was the rule. December 11th. I probably should tell the people that before they well part of it's the mystery of what the rules are. I don't think that's December 11th 1930 Los Angeles California. Golden age. Yeah. Hell yeah. The daily news. Wait, 1930s. So a tough time. It was two cents. This is when it was the MTV building. Two cents. Two cents. Yeah. Two cents a paper. Two cents a paper. Wow. Things are different. Yeah. How much is a paper now?

Do they even have them? It's a shocking. Can you buy a paper at like the, is there, are there paper stands? Like, I don't have. No, they, I think they're all gone. I think it's over. I think of it's over. That's fucking crazy.

Those newsstand guys, though, they needed a knockdown. Yeah, they were real cocky about it. It's not a library. Well, guess what? It's not now. Anything. Fucking asshole. Now it's a wall.

Yeah, now it's just a wall. White men's advent to be commemorated finally That was called January 6th Yeah I love that they're getting money Sounds familiar Justin you were at January 6 right You know what allegedly allegedly

Oh you still won't go on record Because there's a lot of pictures of you I've seen some stuff And you really There's someone who looks like you being quite active in the crowd well you know what I was like the lookout I was the one who kind of told the guy

like hey go take a shit in Nancy Pelosi's chair I didn't know he was actually gonna do it but it was just like at the time it was just something that I was more shopping you were a little bit of a whisperer for the whole group yeah I heard I heard they were proud boys and I was like oh I love Pride Month and it was totally different

totally different things yeah you were at a confusing it was a confusing event in many ways yeah yeah yeah yeah okay There was a whole group of people with pride flags over in the corner and they're like, what? Wait a minute. I don't understand. Yeah.

When's Kylie Enoe coming out? Yeah, we didn't know. We understand the elk guy. The rest, it's a little confusing. All right. In commemoration of the arrival of the first white man in Los Angeles. Wow. The first?

The first. The first. Why is he like Christopher Columbus of L.A.? Just the white culture is phenomenal. It's awesome. Just endlessly fascinating. It's a shame it's so damaging because it is quite hilarious. The daughters of the American colonists today will unveil a bronze marker at the North,

the North Broadway entrance to Elysian Park. Oh, God, I wish I was still there. It would be amazing if that was still there. Just a, I mean, we have statues of white guys all over, so. I mean, it's just. I mean, hello. Yeah. It's a marker.

So I think she's a plaque. They just have bailed a new one. Yeah. Yeah. No, but that one makes sense. That's a good one. Well, this, the one, the one, that was bronze, right? Yeah.

The new one is pure gold, pure, pure, the purest of gold. 100% gold. Beautiful gold. Like the phones. Yeah. And the crop. Big crotch, tight tints. Yeah.

Hot, hot ass. Hot ass statue. You're going to, they're going to need to build a wall around that to stop the groping because everybody wants a piece of that. Oh, I want to rub it. I want to punish it. Yeah. The ceremony is scheduled for 2 p.m. are to perpetuate the arrival of Gasper de Portola

and Father Crespi in 1769. Wow. Father Cresby. There's a Cresby High School. Is there a Cresby High School? In L.A. Yeah. That's weird. Really expensive.

Well, I mean, he was first. It's also not the tradition. I would expect like Bruce Anderson. But, uh... Yeah. There weren't a lot of Bruce Anderson, uh... Right. It was early.

Explorers. Right. There should have been. More, more father. A lot of father Cresby. A lot of, a little too many foreigners walk in the land at those times for my liking, to be honest. Give me a, give me a Jeff Tucker. You know what I mean?

Oh, I hear you. Instead, we got Nicolays and Crespeys. Yeah, let me finish. Nickel's? Making a very good point here. Where did Nicolays explore? The Nicolays, they were big. They were, well, river folk, Justin, you could jump in here whenever.

But they were river people. The Nicolays were big, river folk. Nicolay Valley, Nicolay Vineyard. The Vigley Vineyard is unbelievable. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. Get back into the thing.

Get back to this. Okay. We've flexed enough on it. I will go on to the next story. airport watchdog to stay on the job. Thank God. I really feels so far the, I mean, that feels very apropos today because they are now training, I read they were training less air traffic controllers.

I didn't read anything. Do we need less of those? I don't know. There was like the pitch was like, trust us. This is the right. Oh, because they're going to use AI. Good. That's good.

Everybody's good. Yeah. But back then, they were like, this. dog is going to make sure that everyone's okay. Yeah. No, there's a lot of that. Yeah. If you're flying, if you're flying in the 1930s, you have less to worry about with a dog making sure you're okay. That's right. Yeah. Not the, not, not, not, not the 10 can of a 1930s airplane flying through the sky, but. Well, it might be a better, we might be getting back there. It might be a better system that today. Did you see the guy who, uh, ran on the jetway and jumped through a jet engine,

I don't think you're supposed to do that. Yeah. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, I was, that's kind of jealous. Yeah, I kind of, what I like about that move is that you're like, to go out, like, being a delay on an airplane, I feel there's some nice, carmic justice. I mean, what if that became a thing, though? If that became a thing, that would be. That would be really something. Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to have to return to the gate.

Unfortunately, we've been larried. We've had another other guy jumped through the end of you. Did you imagine the dog's? I was just being like, not again, not again. Fuck. One on each side. What? How high?

Why does this keep happening to me? Good Lord. Now, the irony would have been if it was a spirit airlines, then that guy actually became a spirit. That would be. Oh, my God. If they only did it through spirit. I know. What if they think that that's how they get to happen?

It would like how younger people are storming Scientology, it would be very funny to pick out an airline that you only jump into their engines. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Just United. That's the first one I thought of. For sure, United. Although the engines are so rickety, you're probably just getting like a little, you get a Dave finger.

That's all you get. Yeah. That's actually what happened near her finger. You're just stuck it in the engine. Right in the airplane. Teague, faithful guardian of the Los Angeles airport, will be kept on the job as an assistant to the night watchman, even if he does not eat hamburger eggs and milk to the extent of, 9.52 monthly city council has decided.

What does that mean? What does that mean? Who's eating the hamburger? The milk? The dog? We had to know stuff coming into the story and we don't know it. Yeah. It sounds like the dog.

Is eating. It's herrs. He's eating hamburgers and milk. But I don't know why the 9.52 monthly is there. Oh, here we go. The dog became of some significance recently when the interstate company presented a bill for 952 covering a month supply of food. for the animal. Oh, that's what it was.

They were like, this dog eats $952 worth of food a month? That's actually, no, $9. I think it's $9.502. Yeah, sorry, I should have. Good work. Good work. Yeah. That's why you're here. Not a 900. That's now. Those are grocery prices now for dog food.

That's the farmer's dog. Every time I see the farmer's dog, I'm like, I can eat that. 100% I can eat that bag of dog food. Farmer's dog? Yeah. What is that? It's like, it's rich person dog food. Oh.

It's where you open a bag and it looks basically like, yeah, it looks like you. If you added like broth, you could make a soup. My dogs get the low low level. Yeah. Yeah, it looks strony. It's kind of split-peish. It looks British. Yeah, I don't know why.

I don't know why your animal would want that, maybe. Well, live longer. That's the. Because I just took my dog to the vet and they were like, this thing looks great. I don't sound like a good vet. It doesn't sound like a good vet. Well, they look at the inside. You don't sound like a good vet.

You know, and they don't sound like good vets. When they take the dog and pull it inside out to look at the inside? Come on. Come on. Oh, I'm thinking of an x-ray. Never mind. That's after these fires. Did I tell you what happened that I took my dog to the vent?

You just did. Yeah, you forget that? Yesterday, because it was like yelping and shaking, and I was like, oh, God, what's happening? You're dog was yelping? It was like, do not go to this vet. This guy's the worst. At a sore neck, $750. The dog had a sore neck.

Sorenck, $750. Jesus. Imagine that price of 1930. Go ahead. $7.50. Exactly. Mystery Man at Chinese Theater, very sensational. That's not.

That means racist. 1930s sensational was racist. 100% racist. He was a sensational tirade. He did the eyes and everything. Or maybe it's talking about the weird Batman guy that hangs out down there. Have you ever seen that documentary on those people? I almost got to fight with him.

Yeah. You have? The Superman guy? Yeah. Yeah. I remember that guy. I do too. Poor though.

Yeah. You do feel bad, but there are a couple of moments when Superman in that documentary. Superman was nice when Batman almost got into a fight with me. Well, that's, how did you almost fight Batman? We were shooting something on the street for this talk show I was working on. And the guy, the Batman guy wouldn't get out of the way. And I was like, we can't. He was aggressive.

We can't have you in the back because then. it's Batman, so it's a thing. Right. And then he's like, well, he'd give me $20. And I'm like, you shouldn't be an extortioned Batman. I'm like, what are you doing? And then he wouldn't move. And I was just like, I don't have, I can't. I can't give me $20 to fucking move.

I'm on Batman's side. Are you? Yeah. Yeah. Justin? I mean, I'm always on the, the superheroes of Hollywood Boulevard's side. Yeah.

It's justice. And I feel like they are now in that era of like, social media where it's like, oh, all you got to do is just like be Hollywood Batman and just have a following. Listen to me very clearly. If one of those people gets more followers than me, I will jump through a jet engine. Do you understand? Sure, sure, sure.

No. Same. Same. Okay. What about what if? Jump through a jet engine. I will. That is how.

You will know. You will know. Just go check. And if Hulk has like a thousand more followers than me, you'll know where this came from. They used to drink at a bar right around the corner. I think they still do. Do they really? It was really sad if you went in there.

Oh, for sure. Yeah. The frolic room? It's probably the frolic room. I was going to say the powerhouse, but it might be the frolic room. It didn't even really have a name. It was just right next to this crappy Chinese restaurant. Like, because across the street from.

You're being sensational. The one right there on Highland. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I know exactly which one you're trying to. Really? Yeah. That's where the, I'm not even, not even trying to be an asshole, but that's where mini Mr. T's staying out. And that guy was a fucking party animal.

That guy was a fucking party animal. That guy was a good hang. That guy had a good sense of humor. All the Mr. T. They all do. But the tiny Mr. T walking around, I mean, the fact that I was like in my life, I was like, yeah, like he would want to arm wrestle. And he was just having a good time. Yeah.

He had the attitude of the problem. We love Mr. We love Mr. lowercase T. Yeah. The pastimes is brought to you by Kim's Sexual E. E.D, baby, look. Yep. A lot of people, a lot of people, man, you know,

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mint, which I think is really important. I agree with everything you've said so far, but I will jump in. I don't know if you remember, we've tried that on the show. Yeah. And it doesn't actually do that, but that's not a big deal because there's so much good with it. So I talked to our, I talked to our mint mobile concierge

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It's meant. I'm really I've looked at the phone. I've looked. Are you suggesting it's like a Straw? No, it's not like a straw, but you just got to leave it, let it rest there for a sec. Just do it right now. And then, uh, I really, well, I'm going to read the thing. You're going to do that part. To get your new wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash dob. That's mintmobile.com slash doll. I mean, it just tastes like metal. Yeah, it's fine. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month. It does that date like mint. That's like mint. At mintmobile.com slash

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Gareth, how did it taste? Not like Mint. So whoever your concierge is, I would like to have a word with them. Because so far, this is the 25th time I've tried this, and it's never tasted like mint. I don't even know how they do it. I think it's you.

I think that's maybe true at this point. I should probably be. I taste it all the time. I always taste them. Can I see you taste it? Oh, it's like peppermint. And the mints change. Sometimes it's spearmint.

Sometimes it's peppermint. There's a lot of different mints. Yeah, that was awesome. What? Really good. Really. Yeah. We are also brought to you by Square.

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One of the most curious performers in the atmospheric prologue to Morocco at the Chinese theater is Haji Ali, mystery man of the East. Oh, boy. He's getting racist. Yeah, we're dipping our toe in the pool. You can smell it. Yeah. Ali, who has received international attention from medical men and purveyors of strange phenomena newspaper columns, represents all the mysterious control of mind over body known to science. He can drink gallons of water and caracine.

Yeah. Why do I lead with water? I don't need water on the list. It's actually, anybody can drink water. Gallons of caracine. That's a lot of carousine. That's not good. Because I would be like, why, you drink a cup of carcine?

That's amazing. A shot to me is impressive. I don't need. gallons is no. Gallons is a lot. Ali says that he was born and raised in Cairo, Egypt. sure. As opposed to the other Cairo's. His...

Cairo, Pennsylvania. Yeah. Oh, right. His first... Where'd we go? His first... He first discovered his own particular powers when riding horseback on long desert tracks.

So far, it's not a power. Do you know when you're on like a long desert trek through the desert? Do I? And you bring a canteen full of kerosene? Yeah. And you just hit that? Yeah. Yeah.

sure on these rights he found that he could drink enough water in the morning to last him all day what the fuck just happened i guess this is before hydration was invented this is called big human yeah big liquid iv was in a real big liquid iv guy yeah are you oh yeah love it i take it over a regular IV that's good sugar free come on is it sugar free they make one they make one they make one there's up there's options i I hate the green, the green powder one. You can't say that. They've been a sponsor on and off.

Well, they should not make that one. Jesus Christ. Taking money out of my mouth. Liquid IV. Yeah. Liquid IV, if you're listening, caracine. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. He has never known a day's illness in his life and enjoys any type of food. The only thing that's impressive is that he drinks Teresine. Yeah, and they're ignoring that. Yeah, this is just someone's Tinder profile.

He's a foodie. So far, he's just like a foodie. This is how we get girls. Yeah. He is unusually. I like to drink water and eat. And go on long rides. I'm crazy.

Yeah. He is a huge. A big, I love to drink water and eat food. I'm wild. Oh, I'm listening. He is unusually strong. and can break a diamond two pieces with his teeth. All right, now we're talking.

Okay, that's a thing. Now we're moving. But is he just biting it, or is he biting it and then pulling? Did you say it either way? Like the coin? Yeah, either way, I'm in. And by the way, that dime was worth $1,000 back then. So it's quite wasteful.

But I think also that's a parlor trick. I think that was a thing. You think it's fake? Yeah. You call them fake. Yeah, you just go to the Hollywood Toy and Magic Company across the street and get a little fake dime. That bends.

Is that mini Mr. T real? That feels like same area. Yeah. Is that a big guy and a little guy suit? Is that possible? Am I talking? Big Mr. T would do a half dollar and little Mr. G does the dime. Fine with me.

Fair enough. He has received recent correspondence from John Hopkins Medical School in Baltimore asking him to will his body to science by death. Wow. You know what? That is a life well-lit. when they're saying, can we have your body? It's a weird letter.

I would love to receive that. If I receive that, that would be nothing but price. So if I write you a letter saying... No, not you. An actual, an accredited... What if Justin writes you a letter? And it's like, can I have your body when you're dead? Honestly...

That's for a different reason. Yeah. Honestly, yeah. Yes. And the answer, Justin is yes. So... Yes, yeah. It would be a...

When it's that intimate of, like, pen to paper... Yeah. When it's quilled, sign. Can I please have you all by me? Honestly, a DM I would be like, Chair, it's fine. Take it. Yeah. Have it.

I don't care. Take it now. Like frankly. Let's go. Let's go. That's how I arrive. It was the easiest way to package him. We save money on the box by putting him like that.

By the way, a lot of cracks. But also vacuum sealed. Vacuum sealed. Sorry, we couldn't shut the eyes. Yeah, yeah. That's. His legs behind his head, eyes wide open. Good luck.

You're from science? I am, yeah, I'm from science, absolutely. Thank you very much. Whole open, eyes opened, perfection. And I open like a Casper mattress. You just hear me rehydrating. I get my fat back. You just pour a little kerosy name.

Yeah, yeah. Who knew he was memory foam? I had no idea. I have no idea. I cough a little. Did he cough? I don't love that. Like the guy in the movie seven.

Good old sloth reference. The best. However, with true Eastern superstition, he feels that the medical man might conspired to bring about a premature demise if he were to consent. I get that. I get that. Fair enough. I've heard that about that.

We all heard that. urban legend potentially, whereas if you were donating your organs on your license and the ambulance people saw that, EMTs, I believe they're called, they would not try to revive you as much because now they can sell you for parts. You ever hear that one? And now it's just if you pick the wrong Tinder date. Sure. You wind up in a hotel room.

No, it made me think about it. Did it? No. It's just a podcast. Something to say. Something to say. get out in the air. Might be a clip.

Could be a clip. Daddy return only gift girl of 13 desires. That is, uh, I don't want to know more. How about that? Yeah. 13? She's, this girl's 13 and has many desires. Potentially, or she has 13 desires.

Or she has one desire. I'm worried she's 13. Daddy return it. You weird angle to take. Well, that's, I'm just gone with the thing. Yeah. Why is this one in your notes file? She sounds like a real piece of shit, doesn't she?

Stop. Enough. Maybe it should have gone to Santa Claus, but Mary Ida Kennedy's letter came to the Daily News yesterday. Well, this is suspicious. It's thirsty. What 13-old mails a letter to the daily news when she wants it to go to sign? I agree.

This is, this is, yeah. Justin. He's making a good point. No, you've got, stop. Come on now. He's 19-30. I just want to be in moving. this Mr. DeMille.

Yeah. This is how it all starts. How it all starts. I'll do whatever it takes. Oh, it's so lonely on the farm. Come on. It's true. It's like half the girls in America at that time.

Stop it. This is like, he's right. Oh, no. I feel like I was just transported to the 30s. That's what happened. I'll do anything.

Do anything. Whatever are you saying? Name a thing. I'll do it. Dear Father Christmas. Mary Ida, who's 13 and lives at 211.9 Northwest Avenue in Chicago. That's good if we want to head around. So, Justin, we have to tell everybody this, but in old newspapers, up until I want to say the 70s,

whoever you were, whether you were a victim or a criminal, they would put your address in the paper. Especially the woman. She's a year. Yeah, yeah. Especially the woman. A 13 year old child. A 13 year old child. And nothing ever happened because of that.

Nope. It was a strange thing they did. And her parents were like, oh, thanks for putting our address in the paper, honey. And she's like, oh, thanks, Mom and Dad. If a caller comes, I don't know. I'll do anything. God. What a weird time. You're not okay. She is asking for one thing for Christmas, the return of her father, Earl Kennedy, a carpenter. You two should feel pretty bad.

All she wants from Santa is her daddy. Yeah, but Justin was right. She has daddy issues. Now, come on. Stop nodding. I just want my dad in and returns from the war, Santa Claus. Well, what are you going to do for me? Oh, okay. See, it can go that way, too.

You know? I don't. It's true. You want to make in this town or not. Yeah. Mommy, Santa wrote back. Yeah. Yeah.

It's weird handwriting, but they wrote back. Maybe we should come. A little peppermint cane in there. Maybe you should come visit the pole sometime. He left us nine years ago. That is a sad... He had a chromosome!

He transported me! That is a sad letter to write to the fucking paper. It is a sad letter. He left us nine years ago, Mary Ida wrote. And if I can only see my daddy once more, it will make my Christmas happy. Please help me find him. Jesus Christ.

He's in a ditch, little girl. We found your daddy, but you ain't going to love it. Yeah, so she's fucking four years old. looking the last time she saw her dad and she writes the paper thinking it's santa that part's a little fudgy no no no no no what this is this is the mom's doing this is gypsy rose this is the mom being like yes let's throw the address in there so then mommy gives new gentlemen callers that know where she lives you know what's fucking crazy is how much i like this theory yeah when you're four in Hollywood, do you actually remember?

I don't know. Do you like know your dad at 4? Yes. No. Yes, you do. Now I'm back. No, but I do think potentially veiled suitor request is very possible. Very possible.

Oh, my mother's just, my mother's so lonely in that bedroom every night. I hear moaning. I just want my daddy to come home. So mom is now auditioning callers to play the new dad. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

All right. Back in. Yeah. It is a gig. You're with me. You know what? You know what? I'm a sucker for a Gypsy Rose pitch. I really am. I've been hurt by her too much that I'm just, I'm ready to go. I'll jump into action at any time. I love just a good moonshaelze in my proxy. Sweet little, give me a Munchaus at any day of the week. That's my favorite proxy, by the way. I'm number one proxy without question. Gypsy Rose is the one that's out of Missouri or whatever, right? Is that the problem? Probably, yeah.

So we had a listener. Let's say, yeah. We had a listener, a big Red Sox fan, very early out on the dollup, and he lived right near that. And before it broke nationwide, he sent it to him. And he was like, dude, this is crazy. And it was just like, look, we could have broken it. We totally, I totally fucked up.

I totally fucked up. God, damn it. You idiot. Now look at us. We're in a box in the middle of nowhere. Losing athletic greens as a sponsor. sir. Not athletic greens.

No. No, athletic greens. Please take us back. No, I like athletic greens. Oh, I thought you were saying you didn't. No, I don't like the liquid with the green stuff in it. Oh, well, AG1. We'd love to work with you again.

Keep them separate. I love AG1. Yeah. Justin, we're in the middle of our pitch, so we're not going to allow you to. Sure, sure, sure. You're going to go ahead. Take your time. Thanks, kindly.

So the Daily News is doing what it can. can for their one little girl's Christmas present. It's up to her daddy now. The find a fucking dad? He's dead. No, no, no. They're literally just printing it so the dad will come forward. Oh, is that what they think happened?

Yes, that's what they're extended what they're doing. Oh, I thought he was dead. No. Oh, no. Justin, all right. You saw it. Yes. So sometimes our editor and producer, uh, who helps us on the show Preston, who I'm

sure sent you a very annoying email. By the way, side note, we got a little heat because, um, Preston, the first time I met him, he was opening for me in Fort Collins at the Comedy Fort. And I just heard something about it. And I go, what has that? And Preston had said that if the Denver Nuggets won the championship, he was going to post a picture of his asshole on Twitter, and he did. Anyway, that's just some context for who he is. What's the, what? I'm on it, right? What is it? What's the handle? I think it's Preston, Tom, you can find. it. I'll send it to you. I got a bunch of them. It's actually

wall art I have at my place. But sometimes he will find the update on the article and he's done a great job here because this is the follow-up to Christmas Daddy. Yeah, it says a few days later here. Christmas Daddy Trail Uncovered. Which is also what Preston said right before he posted the picture of his whole. I believe that was the caption. Christmas Daddy Trail Uncovered. Efforts.

Oh, I love. That's the great movie. I love that movie. Oh, so good. So good. Christmas hole? Christmas hole? Christmas hole.

Yeah, that was the fourth city slickers. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It was after Curley's Gold. Yeah. It's in the shape of a peppermint, yeah. It's Christmas hole. Yeah.

It's like red and white strikes. You know what? Yeah, yeah. We're going to get to it, but let's just all say the anus is very pepperminty. Looks, it has the illusion. the appearance. Okay. Efforts of the Daily News yesterday to locate the father of a little Chicago girl as a Christmas

present received lots of cooperation but proved only partially effective. The girl is Mary Ida Kennedy 13. Kennedy was learned is somewhere in Southern California, probably in San Diego, while Mary is living at 2119 Westworth Avenue. Remember where the fuck she lived? They're like one more time. Go over there, bang the mom a little bit. Second floor.

Yeah. Window open. Go check it out. Go check it out. Just put it through the hole. Mom will do the rest. So that's it. We learned he's in San Diego.

Oh, that's all we know. That's all we know. Oh, so nothing. So that's kind of bullshit. So Mary Ida still has no dad. And yeah, she's not gonna. And she's, you know. Tough update.

There are dad issues. That's Hollywood, kids. Well, sorry. Now you're in the big pictures. Yeah. Anyway, Mary, let's put you in a porno. Excuse me? I don't know. I've been listening a little bit. Yeah, I don't know. She's talking a lot. Let's give her a lobotomy.

She's really yapping. Maybe we cut that frontal lobe and see what she can do. Okay, we're just going to put a little incision right in her cornea. There we are. All right. Cut the chatty part of this kid's head. This is my favorite sound in the world. Oh, my God. Listen for the snap. That means the thinking's about to slow down. Is there a little pop or something? You're not going to think about your dad in a little while.

Your worries are all about to go away. Mary, Ida, got a better thing to think about. All I can think about now is Santa Claus. That's right, Mary. Man, we're getting warmer. Keep popping away. It did definitely make a sound. He definitely was like, you listen for that click.

That sweet. Click. There we are. Doctor whipped by Beach Matron. Here we go. Fuck yeah. This is a Long Beach story.

Aroused over gossip. Wow, even before. Wow, the 1930s Long Beach is like the same Long Beach now. Okay, back then it's covered in oil wells. So you're at the beach, but behind you're just rigs. Yeah. Aroused over gossip, which she... I've been aroused over gossip.

I know you have. On your show. Oh, that's your whole show. That should have been the name of your show. On Monday morning, quarterback. A roused over gossip, which she attributed to Dr. Bernard Nelson 68, Miss Ernest Donahoo. Where the fuck did she live?

Today entered the office of the physician and beat him with a horse whip. Hell yeah. Holy fuck. Hell yeah. I'm into it. Hell yeah. Yes. Yes.

Good for her. We need more women. like this. And yeah, and it's time, enough with this doctor stuff. This is the RFK. This is the next progression. That's right. This is the actual times up when you just walk into a guy's office with a horse whip and

say enough. Yeah. Yeah, just eliminating the process in between. It's time to pay. Oh, seriously. Just take it to the streets, ladies. Grab a horse whip. I love a horse whip.

If Indiana Jones can do it, get out there. Seriously. you think any of these guys would be grabbing you when you got a horse whip throwing at them like get it go and on behalf of men I'll answer potentially yes maybe there's potentially still there will be more attempts but

I'm probably not going to stop grabbing until the skin is off my hand from the horsework that's a weird thing to say that's a weird ambition yeah we'll edit that part out by the way Justin we're trying to get to Chris DeLea we want to have them on the show you have an email

anything. Do you, we're really just, we've been trying to, we always call him friend of show. We just, you know, I just popped into my head for a second. Friend of show. We love the guy. We love what he does. We love everything about him. Every aspect's very good. You know, it's the only time when I bring out the Charlie Sheen winning when I'm talking about DeLea. It just feels right. I do the winning. So you can get eyes on him. Miss Donahoo employed by the doctor as a nurse before her marriage. was accompanied by her husband. Okay.

Oh, I like that too. Heating up. I like that. Get her, honey. Get him, honey. I do like that. Whip them. I like that.

That's supportive. The Donahoo's and Dr. Nelson appeared at police headquarters separately later in the day, but Dr. Nelson decided not to sign a complaint. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're guilty. Yes. If you got horse whipping, you're like, it's fine.

You did bad things. Completely agree. If you're like, I don't want to press charges. We don't know what he did, though, right? Oh, we do. He had to have hit on her or he did something. Yeah, grabbed her or whatever. Well, I think this sounds like he either like, yeah, made a move.

Yeah. And she went and like told somebody. And then the gossip of like, oh, no, she did this and that and that, da, da, da. And then she's like, no, that's my character being attacked. It's 1930. Like, it wasn't social media. It was all like hearsay. And they probably made her to be some sort of.

a loose woman. Yep. And then the husband was like, I'm not going to be with a loose woman. We need to go horsewhip the doctor. And they horse whipped him. But the doctor probably did something. If he's not pressing charges, my guess is, you know, he was doing, he was, you know, and it's very gray area with doctors that back then.

You're 100% pressing charges. How old was he? 68. 60s? 608. 68. Yeah. It's not great.

It doesn't say how old she is. We don't have her address her age. We're going to say she's younger than 68. I'm going to say 28. Yeah. 208. Something along those lines. Oh, this is a definite creeper.

I think so because they get old. The doctors get old enough. They start to, they, you know, they over time, they're starting to get more and more stuff. And, you know, eventually you're, you know, putting your semen in a pill and saying that it's an antibiotic. You know what I mean? No, I don't. Well, I'm saying it's, I think we're all saying the same thing. I don't know if we are.

But you're in that position of power long enough. Oh, no, hold on. You're in that position of power long enough in the next. And then they invent the gel caps that you can fill. And you're going, oh, we actually opened a pharmacy. Who invented the jail caps? Well, no, they existed. But then you're getting the plain ones or you're emptying something out of it.

And then the next thing you know, you've put some, whatever. I'm not even saying seminal fluid, but fluid. Some of your bodily fluid has gone into it. Yeah. And then you're putting that in a pill bottle and you're saying, hey, take this. it's called amoxicillin, you know, and then the next thing you know, someone opened,

the husband opens it and he goes, I know that smell. And then bam, then you're back there with a whole, potentially. I don't want to fill in all the gaps, but I'm just saying it's possible. Yeah,

you, I mean, it sounds like you could be in Trump's cabinet. That's really, really good. My knees will get sore, but I'd love to try to fit in it. I would love to give it a shot.

And there's so many other fluids you could have mentioned before. I know, right? I'm not limiting it. A lot of fluids could have been mentioned. No, but saliva. It's not going to be saliva.

If you're going to go to that, it's not going to be, trust me, it's not going to be saliva. If you're wasting your gel caps on that and you're going in the back and you're saying that you now have an in-house pharmacy, it's not going to be saliva. It's not going to be blood. I mean, you know, was this Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton, VMA's, you know, 1997? No, thank you. It's going to be seminal. It's going to be the big one. It's going to be the big one.

You're going to go with the big one. You're going with the hog sauce. and that's all there is to it. Sorry. I don't do this. I'm just saying the POV here. I'm not. You know what?

This is a fucking history show. Back in. Sorry. You had me at hog sauce. Thank you. Thank you. Which Guy Fieri is releasing soon, but I'm trying to get out there a little early.

Really? Like, that's very well, that's good branding. That's a really good idea. Hogs sauce. Thank you. Thank you. It would work. It would work.

While the husband looked on, Miss Donahoo rushed at the surprise doctor in his office and lashed him about the face and body. She broke the whip. Broke the whip on it. And he was harmed a little. A little. She broke the whip. Dr. Dr. Nelson was asserted to have reached for a gun which Donahue took away from him.

That is some fucking Indiana Jones shit. That really is. Wow. She's like a cat woman. Yeah, that's awesome. This story is so fucked because if there's ever a story, we need to know the background. We need to know what was said. I agree.

Just to give us an area. I agree. I agree. Yeah. But I mean, is that the end of the story? Yes. It's terrible. What?

It's terrible. Now I'm mad at Preston for what he's done. That's the end of the story so we don't know? No. No. No, we have a follow up on this little girl whose dad remained missing and nothing changed. and then the guy who's putting his fucking common gel caps. We got nothing on.

See, that was actually the part that you invented, which was shocking. You made that part up. It's very strongly. Shockingly specific. It's very strongly insinuated. No. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, anybody hears it. Yeah, it's very, it's really strongly inseminated. Yeah. They insensuated it. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

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Husband think up alibis for presents at raid. What a weird way of saying guy. No, husbands. Uh-huh. So what it's like a group of bank robbing married men. No, my guess is. there's dudes at like a brothel and then there's a raid. Oh.

That's what I'm guessing. Oh. Okay. 362 residents of Los Angeles, sad or wiser and poorer, some of them wearing black eyes were walking the streets of the city of today or attempting to explain to wives or sweethearts exactly what they were doing at a men-only show

on the roof of the Hollywood storage building. Men-only show means something very. I do like the title. I love this story. Now, that means men are only permitted to go to the show. Yes. Okay. Right.

Yes. I do like that. And it's on the top of where? On the roof. Yeah, on the roof. Exactly. Yeah. And then this is.

What a terrible decision raid-wise. This is one of, this is like the precursor to, because so there was a period before everybody had porn everywhere where some dudes would be like, where some dudes would be like, hey, man, you want to come over and watch porn. with me and then and it was it was it was it was definitely what it was I would be like we are not really excuse me I'm going to say this we had no other option I know but you back then but if you're sitting on a couch yeah it's not great watching porn you're less interested in the porn you're more interested the other dude I would assume no you would sit it was like a campfire watching porn there's no TVs then no true so this is their version of porn right would draw a picture

and be like how good would that be guys used to draw pictures and see how good good would that be? Check this. How good would that be? It was also the silent era, but but what the rooftop part is interesting. It's strange because it seems primed for a raid.

Rooftop is. Also, it's like, do we have an address on this building? I can tell you where a little girl is. Oh, good. That's weird. No, that's how I'm uncomfortable now. that's crazy and I feel like it's on the rooftop because clearly this must have been like a tall building at it at it at its time it's the Hollywood storage company so how yeah I mean maybe I feel like I feel like it's prepped for a raid that's what I feel like okay like they just invited a bunch of horny men to a roof and they were like yeah um four girls alleged to have danced before the assembled guests at salome as salome danced before Harad

And. Salome, Salam. People are going to be mad at me because I don't know what they're one of their little religious things. Shalom? S-A-L-O-M-E. I got nothing. Salami.

I would say salami. Salami. It's how I spell salami. It's like baloney. It's strange. All meats are odd. I know exactly where this building is. You do? This is, yes. So this is on Hollywood and Highland.

It's the Hollywood Storage Company right here. So it's this gigantic building right here. Oh, my God, that is a huge building. Yeah, and it's 14 stories high. Oh, fuck me. These guys were dead. Yeah. That was over.

It's easy. Wow. So they're having a... On December 7th, 150 police officers broke up a nearly 400-person stag party on the building's top floor. 366 individuals were arrested on morals charges. All but four of which were men. Ah, that's, well, the four were the dancers. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. Fuck me. A stag party. Yeah. Yeah, it's just, yeah, guys were just on the highest rooftop possible. It's a, it's a, it's a. And you had to pay.

You had to pay to get into this party. Oh, yeah. It's a pop-up strip show. I, listen. I mean, think of 1930. Yeah. I would have paid to go to this. Probably.

Without question. Yeah. I would have been moshing. $1. Yeah, I'd put it down. To get into this party, which was $19. and $27 in 2025. Well, the good news is with the Hormuz situation, we're getting closer back to it being an actual dollar, the exchange rate from time travel.

No kidding. Meanwhile, the city treasury. The city treasury was exactly $1,810 richer by reason of $362. by reason of 362 fines of $5 each on the guests. Wow. Hope it was worth it, you little perverts. That's $100. 100 bucks they had each.

So $5 was $100. Yeah. All of which resulted... Oh, my God. All of which resulted from a police raid on a, quote, fraternity smoker Friday night. Fraternity smoker? That's what they called it.

We should bring that back, should I think that's... I think that's what they're calling the... a fraternity smoker. So just like a group of men having a cigar. Smoking and watching the ladies dance. God damn. Oh, they were just, wait.

Yeah, they were watching. Were they up there? Yeah. Everyone was on the roof. Yeah, four women. By the way, the four women thing is, that's got to be scary. That's like USO numbers.

Yeah. Yeah, you better have guards. That's what it was. It was a formal men-only social gathering was called a smoker. Yeah. Wow. Shouldn't that come back?

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Me and the boys are having a smoker. It's a really great name. Well, it was like a, yeah, a frat party. They called him a smoker. I got a smoker coming up.

I got a smoker. We're going on the highest roof. Oh, bottles. Russian recruitment. Bottles, chairs, and glasses were hurled. And which jamms. Probably. I would do it at the cops.

And which Jamson. What is this, Morgan Wallin concert? My God. We're just throwing chairs off the balconies? This what's happening? Morgan Wallen. You'll see. Yeah, you'll see.

Just wait. Give it some time. I'm a time traveler. It jumps off the roof. Barry. Which jams the city jail to overflowing for 24 hours while... Oh, that energy in a jail, too. A bunch of boned up men.

Well, arrangements were made to have the men released. Girls deny guilt. The girls, all of whom pleaded not guilty, gave the names as Ruth Williams, 21 of 1347 North Toronto Street. You can't put their fucking... No. This is not... No.

I mean, now you're just like... They're hot too. Yeah. Right. This is just like, hey, there's easy ladies at these addresses. Like, this is crazy.

Yeah. Isabel Clemens 20 of 420, Federally Street, Dolores Moreno 19. Oh, Transient. And Ruth Scott, 22 of 12, 15, West 10th Street. I always want one of my old addresses

to pop up in here. Well, that's... That's crazy. Yeah, that is weird. And no, you don't. I do. That would be strange. 410, North Genesee.

It's like when you've got to, like, confirm a payment or something, and it's like, what address on this list of five seems familiar? You've got to answer any of those questions? Where's your dad right now? You're like, what? That's so weird. Which buffalo wild wings would you like the best? Car taker hunted as boy.

kidnapper. What? Yeah. Because he forgot to take a small boy out of it when he repossessed a car, C.K. Macqua, that is the craziest name. That can't be his real name. MCW. Macqua.

MCW. Macqua. Yeah. Macquah. That's not a name. That's no way that's a real name. They must have left off part. Employed by a used car dealer in Long Beach yesterday was being sought on kidnapping charges,

although the boy was safe and sounded home. McQuah was said to repossess a car purchased by Mrs. Andy Roseberger of Buena Park. Miss Roseberger had left the car containing her six-year-old Calvin at a curb on Anaheim Street while she went into a drugstore. That was super common back then. Yeah, you're supposed to leave a kid in a car. Yeah, you did that all the way up until the 90s. That was fine. Yeah.

That was fine. Yeah, windows up. Car running. Yeah, it's good. It's like a infrared sauna. That's right. Yeah. Yeah.

It's red light therapy, but without the red light. Yeah. Yeah. No, kids like that. Just give him a little kerosene hydrate up. Yeah, drink it up, kids. Yeah. McQuatt took the car containing the boy and dropped him off at his home before taking the machine.

That's nice. Into the used car lot, Ms. Rosenberg swore to kidnapping, complaining against McWaugh. No. Yeah, he was just trying to justify the car. Yeah, I mean, you get mad at repo people. So you're like, you took my boy. Yeah, no, he's fine.

He's, yeah, I mean, look, I don't like a car getting repoed. No. You know. I don't either. He didn't mean to take the kid. No, I agree. And you left your kid in the car. Like, what do we want?

Yeah. If you leave your kid in the car, it's open game. Yeah, no, that is anyone's child at that point. You're allowed to take whatever. By the way, here we go. Anyone who's saying that's not true, I have taken a boy from a car before, and I raised him. And I raised him. And he's a man now.

That's a real man. And now he's a real man. And now he's a man and he's doing really good. I have seven kids in my shed. Yeah. Now, that's different. No wonder your finger hurts. Yeah.

All right, let's do one more. Okay, go ahead. Nine years from now, nine years from now, that little kid you took is going to write a letter to Santa and be like, where's my real parents? That's right. That could be awesome. And then you got to kill him. Yeah. It's always how those stories end.

Yeah. Every time I take a boy, I'm always like, I think the only option here is the end. Oh, God. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. You're just natural, it's just in the moment, you're like, this is good. In the moment, it seems awesome. You're teaching them archery and how to make a, you know, how to make a little like vase and things like that, basket weaving.

And then you go, I think this kid's going to wrap me out. Yeah. Anyway, it doesn't matter. All right, let's do one more, Justin, and then you may go. Date spurned. Sure. Lady robs her adonis. Wow.

Tony Rapanich sent paid to a dock worker decided yesterday that it doesn't pay to spurn the advance. of a red-haired woman. Oh, and how? Now, it doesn't pay... You don't turn down a red-headed woman. No, if you turn down a red-headed woman, you are cursed. There we go.

Hell yeah. When approached by such a person in the Harbor City and invited to make Whoopi in the young lady's home, a repanage declined her invitation. What the fuck? Hang on.

Would you like to bang? I mean, that approach is pretty effective. Yeah, usually it works. That's a pretty effective approach. If a lady walks up to a guy and she's like, hey, do you want? And the guy's like, yeah. I mean, yeah. If it's, if you're like, I live there, it's going to be hard to be like,

I don't think so. Yeah. The male mind is quite easy to hack. Oh, my God, yeah. Easy. Okay. Let's go to a rooftop. No problem. My manager got so mad at me. Now we're talking. Yeah. Now we're cooking with Kerosene. I was at the end problem one time. And a girl looked at him and she goes, hey, you want to take

me home? And my manager's like, what are you doing? And I was like, yeah. And she goes, you don't even know her. I go, eh. That is a wild thing. Do you understand why I? Do you understand why I started doing stand-up for moments like this. Yeah. Yeah. This is it. That's the whole.

Yeah. That's the whole. It's going to cost you money just the same. Repentant. She told police the woman said, whereupon she pulled an automatic pistol from her purse. I'm still in. And took $18 from the hapless Adonis.

Wow. I'm a little confused now. She was going to rob him the whole time and he figured it out and then she pulled a gun and robbed him anyway. But I still want to go to her place. She wasn't going to fuck him. she was going to take him somewhere and rob him. I'm a little confused, but I'm still in. I don't understand.

I'd still like to see you again. Wow. Good for her. Yeah, good for her. Girl, getting it done. I don't agree. Justin, thank you for being here. Oh, you got it.

Thanks for having me, guys. That was so much fun. You're the best. Traveling back. Now, Justin, where could people find you on the internet? Are you at Justin Martindale? that where we can go? At Justin Margole on Instagram.

Yes, my podcast, just say with Justin Margo's on YouTube and iTunes and wherever you get your podcast. And yeah. You're the best. Easy, peasy. And I don't want to reveal too much. You have a Hollywood meeting and good luck to you on that. Say hi to the Discovery Channel.

Yes. I know. Isn't that funny how it all just comes full circle? I'm just like, I've got a big Hollywood meeting. Let's see. I'm going to have to show a hole and bend over. I'll do anything, Dr. Zazlov. Yeah.

Great of Santa Claus. Thank you, Justin. Appreciate it. You guys. Thank you. Have a good one.