The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 182 - Street Dentist Painless Parker

Episode Date: June 16, 2016

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine Painless Parker, an American dental pioneer and semi creep. SOURCESTOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

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It's an American History podcast. Each week I read a story from American history to my friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Don't like that money sir sir sir sir. America don't matter no more. You're not gonna be lighting currency on my table sir. Jesus Christ. Have you never smoked ones before? I'm dying. Do you want to look who to do? I'll do one bottle. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gareth. Dave okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is not gonna come to tickling podcasts. You are queen Fakie of Haight-Up Town. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville! A bunch of religious

virgins go to mingle and do what? Pray. Hi, Gary. No, I see it done my friend. So first of all this podcast is on the All Things Comedy Network. Go to AllThingsComedy.com. You can see a lot of great podcasts there like Bill Burr. What is Jose doing? Was he just scratching at the door like he was getting out of here? No, he scratches at the wall. Scratches at the wall. Dude, we just went through this the last episode. Can you be good? You know he's a cat right? Yeah, but he's normally he can normally have one where he's chilled out. Maybe he's tired of you fucking running away all the time. Here we go. And then you come back and okay

you said he gets scratched the chair. Yeah, but it's gonna be loud. That's a green light scratch. People don't care. I didn't realize you were a cat lawyer. See now he left of his own volition. You know what? I am a cat lawyer. Yeah. Come on, we just got out of brocourt. So we want to thank all of our subscribers on Patreon. You guys are awesome. We appreciate it very much. Just like you know you just go over there you give eight podcasts a month you give a buck that's like $4 each. It's very exciting. That joke I'm never gonna stop doing that. Yeah. Because it's the greatest the math thing. Why would I stop?

March 22nd, 1872. Okay. Edgar Randolph Parker was born in New Brunswick, Canada. When he was nine he decided to become a chicken farmer. It's very ambitious. Why? It's early. Well, but they started early back still. He bought a hen and 13 eggs. Okay. From from Mrs. Frazier an elder elderly lady in the neighborhood. Okay. She's the one who worked and tossed salad and scrambled eggs. That's her. Okay. That didn't work out. His next business venture was selling Dulce. Dulce. That's a kind of edible seaweed. Boy, he's really he's popping. That didn't work either. He spent his teenage years

working as a peddler and a seaman. A peddler in a seaman. What is? That's a loud Jose. He does actually need a mic. He does need a mic. He's very loud. Yeah. And then when he was 17 he considered becoming a doctor. Okay, sure. Once you cash on the seaweed biz. Quote, it seemed to me that all the doctors did was to stroll around in white coats with great dignity and look cool. Is he wrong? Is he wrong? I can't really. Honestly, after after working on the book, the one thing I think you realize is that it for a long time it took nothing more than just kind of just taking the jump. But it's almost like being an actor. Yeah, you

could just be like, I'm an actor now. Let's do this. Yeah. Yeah. I had an audition. I'm an actor. I looked at a guy's arm. I'm a doctor. That's exactly what it was. It, quote, he's still quoting, it didn't appear that they had to work very hard. They just looked scholarly and mysterious and prescribed sales. It looked like a good life. I knew I could look as mysterious and all knowing as the next guy, if I had one of those white coats on. Wow, he really was just like, it's all disguise based. It is a jacket based industry. Yeah, it's a coat based job. Really is. His mother. You could be a captain if you get a

sailor's hat. But his mother was a Christian scientist. Okay. And the idea of her son being a doctor was horrifying to her. Well, did she understand that he was just going to be putting on a white coat? I yeah, I don't think she did. Okay. So, Edgar decided against becoming a doctor and went and saw a phrenologist. Okay. In the 1800s, phrenology was pretty common. That is the study of a head, right? Yeah. Bumps out your head. What they would do is analyze the bumps on your skull and figure out your character and what you should do. So they just kind of braille you into an occupation? Like an

employment counselor. Right. Well, you've got a lot of bumps here. You should work in. You should be a car driver. Oh, you should definitely work with cars. Have you heard of Uber? You should definitely do Uber. Actually, you've got so many bumps, you might be more lift. This was not considered bizarre at the time and was as respected as much as psychiatry. So God, that was just be a great gig. Talk about I mean easier than putting on a lab coat. Fucking. Oh, yeah. Feel the guy's head. That's it. Oh, you need to fish. You need to fish. You do. It's an injustice if you're not fishing. Feel your bumps. Look at this one right here.

It's like you have horns. Crazy. So according to Edgar, the phrenologist said, quote, his chart shows he is outstanding along the medical lines and that he cares about people's health. So he's a doctor. He rates up well in other lines to scientific, commercial and professional. However, in the final analysis, it all points to one thing. He would make a good dentist. Oh, no. Worse. Why? Because I feel like as a doctor, you're just gonna like he was saying you're just sort of like prescribing things. Yeah. Now he's gonna have to actively be inside of the skin. Well, wait a minute. We've I mean, come

on. All the stuff we've heard about doctors, they're they go deep inside of skin. Yes, he doesn't. It didn't sound like he wanted to be that kind. Right. It didn't sound like he was the scalpel kind. It sounded like he just wanted to con it up. You can't con as a dentist to be like, well, I threw some sugar on your teeth. You'll be living forever now. So that was enough for Edgar. A man had felt the skull and clearly he was meant to work in teeth. In 1889, Edgar began attending the New York College of Dentistry. Many of the other students were learning and studying. Edgar was more of a go getter and decided to work

his way through dentistry as a dentist. Don't don't. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. He, what better way? Quote, I was getting enough to eat via, I was going, I was out getting enough to eat via door-to-door dentistry. I carried my tools with me. I'd put my foot in a door and give a spiel pattern after the one I gave as a peddler. If I sold some dentistry, I'd start with the cook's teeth. If I didn't kill the cook and he was lucky, I'd eventually wind up working on the teeth of the lady of the house. So it sounds like he had a very low bar. Yeah, if the cook didn't die, he was good. Basically, that's what he's

saying. And he's just giving like the same spiel. Yeah. Oh, God. But it didn't go door-to-door dentistry. That's the best kind. I bet you didn't know you had cavities, did you, ma'am? Just a knock on the door. Hello, ma'am. How are you? Mind if I go inside your head? But it didn't go as smooth as one would have hoped. Apparently, a few people asked questions about the guy who just showed up at their door wanting to work on their mouth. Good. They would ask if he was trained and he'd reveal he was currently studying, and they'd tell him to come back when he had studied enough to begin working on people. Fair. When the university learned

Edgar was out trying to make some bucks before he was ready, he was expelled from dentistry school. I think that that's not good for our story. You don't know that. I do. You don't know that at all. I know that a lot. Might be fine. Something tells me he just graduated in his mind. So, so he gets kicked out. Oh, boy. Where'd it go? Oh, gosh. Embarrassing. So, he goes back to New Brunswick and worked as a dentist. As a dentist. Sure. Of course. Why wouldn't you? A door-to-door dentist. Sure. Yep. Doing this, he made enough money to go to the Philadelphia Dental College of Hospital of Oral Surgery. He graduated with his class of

three other students in 1892. Okay. All right. So, he's so it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. I'm nervous. Now, he had a degree. He then returned to New Brunswick and opened up a dentist's office. He took what was known at the time as the ethical route. Okay. That meant he would not chase down or solicit for customers. Okay. At that time at Dentist School, they were taught that it was unethical to solicit work directly. So, no barking. No barking. No, yeah. Trying to get people in off the street or trying to put ads on papers. Ma'am, how are you? How are you, ma'am? Hey, lady. How are your teeth? How are your teeth, lady? Hey,

sir. How are your teeth doing? Sir, your insides just look like a huge work. Excuse me, ma'am. Let me help you with those molars. Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, the molars. Hey, let's get my fist in your mouth. Come on. Okay. So, none of that. They were also taught at school that it was acceptable to find work by joining clubs and to never decline an invitation to be seen at a public place. It really is like acting. Like they're talking about networking. It's completely insane. Go to the clubs. Go to all the hot clubs where all the dentists are hanging out, the A-list dentists. Unfortunately, this wasn't a time when people took care of their teeth.

Checkups were pretty rare and with other dentists already established in town, it was rough going. Okay. One problem Edgar had was he was still known for being a bit of a punk when he was younger. So, he thought joining his local church might help his reputation and get him some patience. Oh, gosh. But that didn't work right away. So, he then attended both Sunday services to appear to be even more into God. Jesus. He started sitting in the front pew at church and carrying a big Bible around. He started volunteering at the church, teaching Sunday school. Because he wants patience. Quote, I was determined to be ethical at all costs.

That's not how ethics work. But six weeks into opening his office, he had not gotten one patient. And he was sick of God. One day, Edgar offered to make new dentures for a local sign painter and in return, he wanted a sign for his office. Seriously, now open. The painter said he wanted the dentures first. So, Edgar made the dentures. Sure, make the drop first. Right. So, Edgar made the dentures and the painter loved them. So, he made a huge sign with gold paint. Whoa. Edgar was so embarrassed by how enormous and flashy it was that he asked the painter to hang it up at night so no one would see it being installed. When he came to work the

next day, he was expecting a long line of people. Boy, this guy lived in a fun little world, huh? From the sign. He lived in a fun little fantasy land, huh? Holy moly, you see this guy's sign. Buddy, I wish he hadn't used so much gold. There's only so many hours in a day. But no one was there. Then the next day, when he came to work, the sign was gone. Boy, really? It's not working. Good run. That evening, he discovered his sign had been hung on the front of the train station's outhouse. Oh, God. Kids have always been funny. This was probably done by another dentist who was more ethical. No, he wasn't. He was mad at the big sign. No, those

aren't ethics. Well, it was then. That night, when it was dark, he went back and retrieved his sign and put it back on the front of his office. Oh, my God. And then it happened. Oh, dear. A customer came in. He was a tourist. He must have been so excited. And he needed a tooth pull pulled. Oh, gosh. Parker said it would cost $1. The tourist countered $0.75. Oh, my God. And he took it. Okay. In over three months in business, he brought in a total of $0.75. So that's not a lot of money. Don't mess this up. Act like you've been here before. So he needed money. He was hungry or, as he said, quote, just a plain old empty stomach that chattered

louder the arguments of dental associations of America made. So basically he's hungry. He's turning to turn against ethics. Okay. Edgar then wrote a sermon on the evils of neglecting one's mouth and he went to a nearby town to see how people would respond to it. So he stood in the town and he gave a lecture and he offered to extract teeth for 50 cents each and said he would give five bucks to anyone who felt pain. On the painless end, he had a tool that he called hydro cocaine. Oh, wow. If you ever put cocaine in your mouth, you will know this was very successful. So he would just squirt cocaine with a syringe into the

guy's mouth around the tooth and then yank it. That's a procedure you can take. You don't even need the tooth extraction. Just go town to town mouth numbing. He removed 33 teeth. Wow. 12 people and not one yelled out in pain. But they all wouldn't stop talking. Although apparently it was still painful for. He was called painless Parker after that. Oh boy. A nickname that stuck. But then a couple of weeks he was bringing in 50 bucks a day. Wow. What? Pulling teeth, baby. Gosh, that's supposed to be like a bad thing. It's like pulling teeth. He set out on the road yanking teeth. He would borrow a rocking chair in each town to

perform the yankings. Sometimes state laws wouldn't let him practice in specific states and other times the local dental authorities would thwart him because they didn't want the competition. For example, on his 21st birthday, he was arrested in Victoria, Canada for practicing without a dental license. But wait, didn't he have a license? He must not have one in Canada or maybe he just didn't have one in the town. Okay. Eventually he moved to New York City and started a practice that was very successful mostly because of the endless self-promotion and advertising. Sometimes he'd apparently feel bad about his way

of doing things and would try to work like a more ethical dentist. But then he would give it all up. Yeah. He wasn't going well and he fell upon hard times. By now he had a family and he didn't just have himself to think about. So he went full-bore into the Pamless Parker ways when he turned his career over to P.T. Barnum's former PR man, William Beebe. Whoa, that is... I mean, that's... Lean into it. That's... You know what I mean? Lean into it. He... Beebe used the autobiography of P.T. Barnum as his

guide and created ad campaigns and pure stunts to make a celebrity out of Pamless Parker. Parker's dental building in Brooklyn had huge signs all over it. They read, I am positively in painless dentistry. Yes, me, Pamless Parker. The it on the sign was over 10 feet tall. Oh my god. Another sign in front of the building. Pamless Parker, permanent par, excellent, positively painless perfection of practice and philanthropically predisposed to popular prices. Wow. That's crazy. Beebe had performers parading around in front of the office to bring in customers. At one point... What part of you would be like

this is where I want my mouth played with? Well, this seems great. It's like a circus. At one point a tight robe walker dressed in pink walked back and forth on a cable strung out front. Okay, so it's not a dentist's office. It is. It's just... How do you pick a dentist? Whoever has the most clowns. What about guys that were called human flies that would climb up the front of the building with their bare hands and feet? Isn't that how you pick a dentist? I won't go to a dentist unless there's a guy hanging on the front of the building. Excuse me and how many flies do you have? And do you take a lion's insurance? Human flies. Parker started

franchising out. He opened up other clinics and hired other dentists. There were billboard ads, magazine ads, ads in newspapers, sandwich boards, and ads that he put on abandoned buildings. He called himself, quote, the greatest all-around dentist in this world or the next. Or the next. Hey, why not? It worked. He was incredibly popular and people mobbed his offices. But there were critics. People have said he was not dishing out decent dental care. Panless Parker responded, quote, regardless of what the Ethicals used to say about us, the materials and workmanship of what we produced was okay. Whoa, that's quite an endorsement from

the man. He couldn't even say great. Everything we did was just enough. This is just fine dentistry. Yep. Could be way worse. And he was nowhere near done. He had to get money out of all those people who wouldn't come to his offices. He started medicine shows with performers on the street. There were actors, singers, acrobats, jugglers, magicians, musicians, and tap dancers. At times there would be a couple dozen performers at one of his medicine shows at once. Oh my god. But the key was the marching band. Wherever he went, he'd have his marching band because when he started to pull the tooth, he'd tap his foot on the ground and the band

would start playing to hide the patient's screams. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh Jesus Christ. That's effective. And he was still hitting the road. He'd roll into a town with a parade and all of his performers. Now who wants me in your teeth? Painless Parker would be in a top coat in a carriage. So the carriage was on top of a car and it looked like a big two. So it almost looked like Mardi Gras was coming to town. Yes, basically. And instead he was there with like tools for your head. Sometimes he'd throw coins at the spectators. Then they'd do a show and at the end he would give a lecture about caring for your teeth. It almost

sounds like when the Joker went to downtown Gotham and threw the money out in the original Batman. Quote, my friends, I want to tell you that God hates a man who neglects his teeth. Oh god. He's lost all compass. I mean truly. I'm here to tell you whatever the fuck you want to hear to come get give me money. Finally he'd perform a painless tooth extraction. Then he would sell away. Now often the tooth extraction would be fake. The first one he would do it on the setup and have the tooth in his hand and right away and then people would let that hurt. Let me know when it starts, doctor. It's already over yet. Oh, somewhere in the

town he would have pre-arranged a temporary office where he would start the yanking in Poughkeepsie, New York. He pulled 357 teeth in one day. Oh god. He was sure it was a record. Yeah. Yeah. No, except for maybe when people did it at a battleground. Yeah, except for like, waterloo or like, yeah, you know, other than that, yeah. Parker later made a necklace out of those 357 teeth which he wore around. Did anybody feel troubled about his decision to wear a tooth necklace? Only Ed Gein. Right. Ed Gein was like, pump the brakes, pal. You're starting to look crazy. Good god. I mean, my nipple belt looks like nothing. I mean, honestly.

This wasn't a big jump from what he was already doing. Parker all this time had kept all the teeth he pulled in a bucket, which he lugged around with him from town to town. Oh, he's psychotic. They were thousands of teeth in the bucket. Oh god, thousands of teeth. Oh my god. I showed it to my wife. You showed what? The buckets of teeth? Yeah, there's a picture. You can still to this day go see. I'm out. What do you mean? Whatever the rest of your statement is, I'm out. I can't believe I'm about to see the bucket of teeth. Is that what's happening? I think so. Well, let's just continue. Shielded from Jose's eyes. Jose, I would never do this to you.

You're so sweet. Don't spoil those little eyeballs. Okay, so he has a bucket of teeth. Yeah, I remember. I'll show you right now. Oh, sweet. God. It's nice. Oh, God. It makes you like want to look at a dirty ashtray. That is so fucking gross. Dude, that is just oh my god. Oh, and I'm seeing pictures. Oh my god, the tooth necklace. Dude, these are not pretty teeth. Oh, they're horrible. Look at him with a necklace on. He's like, what's the problem? You guys think it's weird? Wow. Yeah, he wore like a big top hat and like a white. No, he definitely runs the mouth circus. He's out of his fucking mind. Of course, much like a terrible tooth. He's out of his mind. This all just greatly harms reputation for

some reason. I can't tell why the New York King's Denti County Dental Society called him a dentist gone bad. Maybe it's like it's like too hot for TV or girls gone wild. Dentist gone bad. But Payton Parker just loved it. He was a celebrity. And I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as bad press was the first about him. So he was just getting huge. There were other dentists that went around from town to town doing this, but not more popular. The guy that everybody he was the fucking guy. No, that's why like when like a company will make its number like eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight. That's exactly what he is. Like the most common one. He's eight, eight, eight. Yeah, eight, eight.

He was now rolling around town with seven and a half carat diamond ring and a four and a half carat diamond tie stud with the necklace of teeth. All the teeth in the necklace have been yanked in that one day. When he was 34 years old, he decided it was time to leave New York City and make his way to California. When he headed to California, he had several million dollars, six railroad boxcars, full of furniture, seven race horses, a model 15 peerless automobile, which is the top end car at the time. He landed in San Francisco to set up shop, but the 1906 earthquake hit. So he went to Los Angeles. Pretty soon he bought a shitty dentist's office in a bad part of LA. Now that he had the money he went

bigger with his advertising. I was just going to say it sounded like he started too small. He started hiring blimps. Wow. And airplanes with the banners on the back. Oh my God. He put ads in newspapers. One read, a drifter never gets to the headwaters of a stream. If I have been content to be a dental drifter, thousands would never have known painless Parker tooth comfort. I aggressive. I just kept reading his ads in old newspapers. And you were like, eventually you're like, what if any of these meant he would he would roll into a town and just do like a write up a big article for himself in the paper and has like a it was just fucking crazy. Other dentists loathed him and his methods and probably

hated him because on top of that he was famous. Yeah. The American Dental Association declared him quote a menace to the dignity of the profession, which he loved fucking loved. He was then hit with lawsuits for fraud and malpractice. Painless Parker claimed he never paid out a penny in damages. I mean, even that has alliteration to it. I just wrote that I just realized I did that. Yeah, okay. You're infected with the painless Parker. Quote, I have been sued over a hundred times and only appeared in court once. And he went on the offense against what he called the dental trust. So the dental trust are the old dentist, the ethical dentist. Right. We're looking at him going naysayers. Don't go around pulling people.

Hater's got hate. Okay. Hater's got hate. They were trying to rein in his insane activities. And sometimes they had an effect. Painless Parker would occasionally try to leave his ways behind and work within known guidelines. He'd stop his public demonstrations, but he just couldn't give it up. So as far as like what he as far as like the rules that he was breaking in their in their minds, it was he was too big of a showman, but was he was like he was capable of dentistry. He was like removing teeth. It was just that he was actually a decent dentist. He was a decent dentist. He was just maybe looking for profit over a profit and celebrity. Right. Basically, this is the Drew Pinsky of and of right. Yeah. Right.

So he is competent. They just are like, God damn this guy. Totally. Right. Okay. Yeah. So he couldn't give it up. He needed to be a showman. He needed to be in front of a crowd like most dentists. Sure. Yeah. Mine's always like that. He'd start over again, buy a new car, put a dental platform on top and cruise around the streets pitching to the masses. Oh my God. Then in 1913, he went completely over the top. What? He bought a circus. Oh God. Wait. Soon. He's not. Okay. Sorry. I heard the first word. Let's keep going. Soon animals and acrobats were jumping through hoops in front of every office office he opened. When did they switch to magazines? He opened a lot. At one time, he had 28 dental offices

and 78 dentists working for him in California, Washington, Oregon, and Canada. What? He's like the McDonald's. What? I mean, the McDonald's. He bought a circus. He's like the McDonald's of dentistry, but with lions. Who would have ever thought dentistry and a circus? Oh God. You know, they're worried about my ethics. I'm going to bring lions into the equation. How about a bear on a ball? Uh-huh. Dental associations continued to try to take them down. They got politicians on their side. And in 1915, the California legislature passed a law forcing dentists to practice using their legal name. Can you change your name legally? And they passed a law saying one could not make baseless claims or it was fraud. Well,

they're undercutting his whole business. There was really no one else out there. This law was for only Payless Parker, who immediately changed his name legally to Payless Parker. There we go. There's your solution. Like could not have fucked them more. Yeah. They're totally fucked now. It's actually probably something you should have done a long time ago. A long time ago. But it took him four months to get the name changed. That was it. Now he wasn't committing fraud since it was a legal name. They also passed laws against street dentistry. Well, I think that was a long time coming also. That's a little rough. It'd be so great if there was still street dentistry. Oh my

god. Chris, you're just walking down the street and a guy's pulling a guy's tooth. How you doing? Hey, man, I get you next for 10. You want 10? I take one out. Actually, yeah, yeah. I'd love to get my wisdom teeth removed right now on the street. Five minutes when I'm done with this guy. Perfect. That's awesome. Don't mind it. You got a napkin or something? No, but I don't care. Okay, good. I'm going to shower anyway. Get that thing right out of there. Yeah, yeah. In Oakland, he countered a anti-street dentistry law by proposing a law which would allow anyone to speak between the hours of 6 p.m. and 10 30 p.m. Quote. Prime dentistry hours on 9th, 10th and 11th streets from Franklin to Clay Streets and on 15th

Street from Washington to Jefferson without a permit. My guess is that that correlates somehow to his business. I would assume so. I love how specific it is. Yeah, just there. Just those two blocks. So he blamed the trust dentistry for making the law and said that his painless dentistry was as good as theirs. And he said the reason he could not lecture on the street was because the trust didn't want people learning anything about the dentistry that the trust didn't want them to know. Yeah. So they're like magicians. They don't want right. People are in the tricks. Yeah, that's what. Yeah, right. Painless Parker also said the mayor was wrong and claiming it was unsightly for him to pull teeth on the street. Well,

the mayor's always been an asshole. He said many had been watching him. Quote. I never heard people say they did not like to see anyone eat a rare beef steak, but I have never heard of any mayor proposing to prohibit restaurants from serving beef steak rare because it was unsightly. Wait, it's a rough one. I mean, that is a long. I mean, it was a rough analogy. I mean, it was not a great comparison. He had a hard. He's nothing without his peas. He had a hard time with that one. Yeah. Well, if the apparently the mayor is now outlawing the salmon. So if you think about it, someone who's going to swim upstream is going to be a salmon. Thank you. They're not careful. All right. Which leads me to mouths. The laws

were send it as fools. It's a lot like if the mayor tried to outlaw drinking water. Thank you. What? And then you got a pool installed. You got a got a drink. You can't outlaw peanut butter jelly without there being a little bit of without the teeth. Exactly. Teeth. Thank you. Hashtag teeth. In the end, Payless Barker's crime was bringing dentistry to the masses cheaply. Payless Barker found a new way to get PR in 1925, when he and three other yachts held the race from San Francisco to Tahiti. What? Well, how? That was almost like I broke you. Well, I just don't even like it. That's one of those things where it's just like we just do anything to get attention. It but it just how how how many nights of drunken

talking until you were fine. Like, are we doing the mouth or got it or not? We're going on a boat to an island in the Pacific out dentistry. Okay, so the four yachts left on June 20th 1925. Payless was on his boat, the Idailya. Tell me they had too much weight and he had to throw his necklace overboard. The idea made it to Tahiti and finished second. Okay. But things didn't go well after that. The crew just bailed and he had to find a new crew. Okay. He got four Tahitians, only one of whom who had any experience on a boat. Well, in his defense, the experience isn't necessarily something you need to rise to the top. This is a good point. A few days out from Hawaii,

the ship's cook revealed he had gone on a bender and forgot to buy more food when they were in the island. Well, I'm not gonna lie. This is a devastating conversation we're having. Anyone for tooth soup? Oh, fuck. So they started rationing instead of turning around and this didn't make the Tahitians happy. The Tahitians plotted to throw a painless overboard and take the ship. Whoa, this is quite a turn. But a painless held them at gunpoint, locked up the leader and forced the others to work. What? But they hit a storm and the sails were torn up. They sat idle for 11 days because they couldn't get the auxiliary motor going because they had no gas because the cook hadn't bought. Because the cook got drunk once. And

there was no wind. So they just sat there. They went 29 days without a full meal and were almost starving to death when a rescue ship found them and told them to San Francisco. PR success! What? Pan this Parker kept up his dentistry for the masses all the way through the 1920s and 1930s. But the resistance was strong. Finally, they were able to suspend his license to practice in the state in 1929. Here's not. I mean, right the year when you're probably going to need him most. That's true. He was not able to practice for five years in the state. Eventually, he came to be accepted and a bit respected. He died in 1952 at the age of 60. Besides making money, Parker always believed in bringing oral education and affordable

dentistry to all people. He believed in bringing the dentist to the people cheaply. Much of what he championed, patient advocacy, increased access to dental care, and advertising has come to pass in the US. Parker's tooth necklace and bucket of teeth can be seen at the dental museum in the hall of nightmares of the Temple University School of Dentistry. Jesus Christ. It just never ends. It just never ends. He was like the lobotomy guy. He is the lobotomy guy of, yeah. Yeah. Every country needs one. Well, we've got a lot. Yeah. We've overloaded. I'm scared. All right. Great. Yeah. Great. You feel good? Good. Good. Good. Teeth heart. We signed cars. Later.