The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 182 - The Past Times with Nick Cody

Episode Date: July 10, 2026

Dave Anthony reads a paper to co-host Gareth Reynolds and comedian Nick CodySOURCESTOUR DATESOFFICIAL MERCHHIMSMint MobileRocketmoney See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to the past times. It's a podcast. Someone's finally doing it. You know what we do here each week. We go through a newspaper from a random date and history picked out by none other than Dave Anthony. Igarith Reynolds have never seen it. And neither has this week's guest. The great loose unit. Nick Cody. Nick, are you still loose? Hey. Very loose unit. I'm waiting for my four-year-old to get home from gymnastics. Very loose. What a loose unit I am. Gymnastics. Yeah. What?

I just didn't expect that. I think he'd have some sort of thing where they'd be running into each other really hard. He tried that and then they were like, nah, they don't lock the beam. I'm sure he has his boys doing slap fights. Oh, his kids are definitely. Yeah. What are we doing with the boys, Nick? No, that's three kids?

I've got two boys. How are it just two? That's every day. No, two fight. Yeah, two boys. Every day is fighting. So it's good for them to do other activities as well. Now, speaking of fighting, you have a podcast called Mid Fight Brawl with the great Luke Heggy,

who is, I love. He's a great guy. And you guys do this show together and you talk about yourselves and each other and brawls on flights and things of that nature. And how did that start? And who came up with the title? And who's the fan favorite? Well, fan favorite would be Luke Heggy is the ultimate.

I'm just there. I'm like seafood extender. I'm just there to sort of fill out the fucking manifesto that he writes each week to get it longer than a few minutes and make sure that the feds don't take the door in. But, yeah, skyfights. They're happening all the time. Are you held up where I am? Yeah, we're both. Yeah, we're both.

We're both. We're American. So when you say things like seafood extender, it stops us in our tracks. Yeah, and we like that you use it as a shorthand, and we're excited to hear that what we think it is is what it is. What is it, Nick? Seafood extended that shitty crab meat that you can get from supermarkets that people will put in with other seafood dishes.

Just sort of fill it out, you know? So are we saying that people are mixing the fake crab meat in with the real crab meat, and it's just kind of a way to be like, hey. Yeah, it's like imitation crab. and people you use it. It's like in seafood, I don't know, do you get seafood sticks over there? I'm sorry, what did you just do?

Hopefully, hopefully that makes its way here sometime. We don't have seafood sticks. Oh, I think it's talking about fish sticks. Cres sticks. Oh, fish sticks. We call them fish sticks here. No, no fish, not fish fingers. This is like a crab stick.

This is like a fake crab stick, a deep fried crab stick, but with imitation crab. By the way, I didn't realize what we were doing at Outback Steakhouse was a better representation for you guys. That is a hard. That is a war crime. I can't. Outback Steakhouse is a disgrace, but crab steaks. Get around and next to our year in Australia.

I will not. No, we'll be on tour and it'll be important that we don't have diarrhea. You don't come on to an American show and talk shit about the bloom of an onion. You don't come on to an American show and gross us out with. fried food. That is not allowed. I don't even know that it shouldn't be possible. It should not. But you also, I've been to the U.S. maybe 15 times and I've never been to an Outback Steakhouse. Well, you're not allowed. We don't allow Ozzy's in there. I don't think I've ever been to one either. If an Ozzie went to an Outback Steakhouse, they'd be too mad. We can't have that happen.

Yeah, it's like, it's like when there's a time, a time travel movie and the two people are in the same blaze at the same time they can't they can't we would take Australians get tased and dragged out of there when they go in there we'll taste the shit This is an absolute fuck

and a bore out of this is an aberration Get them out of here We got a real one We got a real one table nine Preg steaks punching security Give me a fucking cremsteak steaks

And then you're show Crusher You're touring around Australia With Krusha Where can people get tickets an information on that. It's going very well. It's true.

All at the century, century.com.com. Crush is going everywhere. Nick, how do you have the time to put together a show when you have to get up at 4 a.m. or whatever? Yeah, it's a bit silly. Well, it took a few years.

I had a few years off proper touring. And then it got to the point where I was like, fuck this. I want to do it again. Was the plan? You've just got to do it and accept that I will die early. Yeah.

Was the plan that you were going to take, you were going to kind of not do it for a little while because of your family? Well, the show. He's got a, he's a radio show. Yeah, right. But was that sort of the plan? You were going to take time off. I'm standing.

I kept doing, I was doing spots all the time, just not a, just not a full hour. And to me, that's the, that's the most fun. Plus, touring means I'm away from everyone. Yeah. And then we know, we've seen you away. Oh, we've seen away. He's a, oh, you know, he's a... I watched him jump off a hotel roof into a pool.

He's like, he brings the... He's a good time. Cody's a fucking good time. That was six months ago, Dave. Leave him alone. Well, so people should go watch your show. Slow down. Yeah, I bet.

Please do. I definitely like Nick's the kind of guy when you come out. Pick our mid-fly brawl as well. We started mid-flight brawl at the start of 2020 and two months later, COVID kicked off. And then there were the most air rage incidents of all time. Like combined history,

there were more air rage incidents in two years. So we got there like start of the gold rush, you know? And what a fucking time. Well, they haven't stopped. I mean, they have not stopped. And you must be very thankful to have America as a resource

because we have, they're basically, I mean, it's really where people go to lose their shit. Well, we thought initially, when it started, that it would be a lot of Australia to Bali or Australia to Thailand flights, but weirdly, A lot coming out of North Carolina.

I don't know what's happening in North Carolina, but we've done 300 odd episodes, and I reckon a fifth are going to or from North Carolina. I don't know if it's a Rick Flair thing, but something's happening over there. A lot of the stuff I've been reading lately says it's a Rick Flair thing. So, I mean, I don't, that's a lot of signs seem to be going in that direction. But, and then, so you've got mid-flight brawl,

you've got your touring, you do morning fucking radio. I mean, that is just, it's too much, Nick. We're worried about. Yeah, slow down. No more kids. Are you thinking about getting a vasectomy? No, fuck no. The morning show, I work with a guy by the name of Brendan Favola,

who is real-life Kenny Powers. So any Americans listening, if you love Eastbound and Down, I work with the actual Kenny Powers. Yeah. Real, he's the real deal, Kenny Powers. That's funny. That's so funny. He got kicked out of Queensland and Ireland for drinking too much.

He's an incredible man. I don't believe that's possible. How did he get kicked out of Ireland? Absolutely true. There used to be a thing called International Rules where Australia would play against Ireland in a hybrid game of Australian rules football and Gaelic football. And he went over there representing Australia

and went to the races one day in Galway, the horse races, got hammered and then fucking got a bartender in a headlock and got sent home. That happens. By the way, When you walk into Outback Steakhouse, that's what the bartenders and the people attending are doing. You also have the White House as your background today, Nick, and that is obviously an homage to the great fight that took place recently at the White House. You're showing respect to us, and we appreciate that.

Yeah. Did you, was your goal? Oh, UFC Freedom 250. Thank you. Was your goal, it's our great shame. Was your goal to be the Australian Rogan? that just happened. He mispronance Raygun, by the way.

Joe Raygun. Joe Raygun. No, that's Halloween next year, Nick. I got vaccinated, so. I'm sorry, guys. I've been back. Just once, though. Just once.

Just the one. You fell for it once. I forget if it was two or three. It was whatever amount it was so Australia would open pubs again. I got that amount. So I listened to science. so I could immediately stop following science. I'm back to sharing vapes.

Sharing vapes was when you knew we were back. You're like, we're open. We're sharing vapes again. I remember my first, I think my, maybe my second show back was in Hawaii. And you had to have like a negative COVID test. You had to have all this paperwork. And I got there and I was smoking a joint

with a bunch of people sharing a joint. And I was like, I didn't think this was going to happen again. I was like, this is fucking awesome. We're back, baby. Dear down the cheek. Well, I was on breakfast radio in Brisbane, but living in Melbourne at the time. And Melbourne, of course, world's longest lockdown, blah, blah, blah.

And I got an exemption to go to Queensland. You had to do two weeks in hotel quarantine and everything. And I came out in Queensland, they were compliant. Melbourne, you couldn't leave the house. And Queensland were like, you can only have 30 people at a house party. This place is fucked. It's North Korea. Two weeks in the hotel, how much weight did you put on on that stretch?

It had to be a good amount. I fucking blew out. That was a year not drinking. And I blew out. Oh, my God. That was fucking danger. All right. So we're going to go through this newspaper.

We're going to guess what year this newspaper is from. You're going to start. Okay. We don't, there's no context. It's just a guess. So you tell us what you think It could be 1800s, could be 1900s, could be 1700s, could be

2000s, no, fuck off. What are you doing, asshole? I'll go first. It's 19. No, Nick's gone first. 1923. Oh. What is it? It's 1929, he's right.

What the fuck? You held it up for him and didn't even see it. You tried to cheat, you, son of a bitch. God damn it. You were confused because he didn't say the right number. Yeah, well, I was confused because your expression was super bizarre. Yeah, well, that's called a poker player's face. By the way, it rolled off the tongue, didn't it? Look, I have the face of a psycho, so I would be really great at poker.

What the fuck is happening? I can do no emotion no matter what's happening. Yeah, no shit. Yeah, we've noticed. Yeah, so I'd be a great poker player. Yeah, we've noticed. I've gone on the road with you. No emotion?

No emotion. No emotion. I can shut it all down inside, Nick. Yeah, it's called growing up with an alcoholic parent. Yeah, it's called undone, a trauma that he'll never try to undo. Because of that, I'm a really good poker player. I did as well, but I've just grown up to try and become a better alcoholic than them. Yes.

I don't know if that's... No, that's one way to do it. No, you know what? The year off was a great move for you. It really showed... It showed you that you can do it forever. I just had another three months off before. I do it all the time.

But fuck, I just, I remember, I remember Dave years ago, like 10 years ago maybe. You were telling me about beers and you're like, mate, in a few years it's going to be hard to fucking drink beers and not blow out. I now, if I have three beers, my head, this is a fucking blimp. Right? Yeah. I told you. It was coming.

I just can't do it anymore. You will be Joe Rogan. Just drink eight beers. Nick, you'll be happy to know. I've switched to gin and tonics. It's really resulted in some strange behavior. That's a classy move. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is classy. But then he's on his third one and he's like, that fucking guy, the way that guy looked at me was fucking horseshit. I'm like, all right, buddy. Who's mixing those?

You? Who's making the G&Ts for you? Well, also, in America, the thing that's got me a few times, I forgot about the free pour. And you think, fuck, I've only had four whiskeys, but I'm fucked.

What's happened? Yeah, yeah. Wait, what do you mean the free port? I don't know what that is. Well, in Australia, it's all they measure 30. Oh, they've, yeah, they've got, yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, when my son just had his, his baseball banquet, they were doing free porous, and I didn't realize,

God, did I get shit face? You got to see Dave drunk on genotin. You're out. Yeah. All right, let's start this fucking thing. What's the paper? The Miami Herald. Oh, beautiful.

Thursday, August 8th, 1929. Okay. sending proxy to court costly Hmm It's got a cool little Dr. Sussian rhyme to it Okay Yeah Alleged alleged gambling operator

is fined $100 Attending court by proxy proved costly to him Yeah right Yeah Attending court by proxy proved costly to Harry Owens reputed operator of a gambling game yesterday

When he appeared before Judge WF Brown of the Court of Crimes to answer to second charge. The Court of Crimes? That's what we're going to start calling court. I mean, what, did they call it? What's the other court? I don't know.

Yeah. What would you call the other one? Court of... That's one guy eventually was like, well, they're all crimes. We should just call it court. There is civil court. Sure. A crime, though.

That's different. No, civil court, not a crime. Well, so... Yeah, what are your courts? Do you have... We've got like magistrates courts, Supreme Court. High Court, Family Court, where I'll end up.

We've got a lot of different courts. We got Greg Mathis, Judge Joe Brown. We got Judy. She comes on after that. The People's Court. That one's pretty good. That used to be Wapner. Now it's this other lady.

Steve Harvey had one for a little while. That didn't take. Did he? Yeah, but that's okay. He's focused on Family Feud, where we need his legal skills. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was weird.

Judge Judy is the one who overturned to divorce. He's also. Yeah. In many ways, it is a family court. It's probably my favorite game show. But really what they should do is at the end of family feud, someone should be thrown out of the family. If you're on the losing team, the guy is like,

something you keep in your handbag for emergencies. The guy's like, corn, corn, Steve. They're like, that's it. We've got to get rid of Uncle Eric. He is a fucking absolute anchor on this household. I think corn, Steve, because the woman goes to the picnic, she needs corn. And then people have to be like,

it's so fucking funny when someone says a bad answer and he just turns, looks at the audience and rolls his eyes. Yeah, he really lets him know. We have a small claims court where you can sue up to $10,000. And then we have regular civil court where you sue people. And then we have a criminal court for all the rapies and murderies. And then we have the state Supreme Court. And then we have the Supreme Court.

And then we have the Court of Appeals and the state Supreme Court. Court of public opinion. Quite a public opinion. You are a big fan of it. You are a big fan of a food. Like, I feel everyone over there has a lawyer ready at all times. I'm being sued right now. Walmart or something.

I've sued. I sued Dave two months ago. And I didn't even remember doing it. And we're doing that a lot over here. I'm being sued right now for $2 million. Yep. Dave's being sued right now for $2 million. No, you're not.

By who? Some lady. What? How the fuck has this not come up? Because nothing's going to happen. Because my mother-in-law was driving. You're probably being sued as well, Garrett. Yeah, you don't even know that.

You're part of the lawsuit. Oh, my God. My mother-in-law was driving. Oh, you told me this. And she tapped the back of a car. The only damage to both cars is the license plate frame. So it's like total damage is like $80. And she's suing me, my wife.

Two million. Yeah, sorry. Excuse me, sir. Me, my wife. and my mother-in-law for $2 million. Well, yeah. Nick, if you're worried about the state of consciousness in America, don't be. We're doing fine.

The lawyer that is representing her has changed his name four times. And by the way, I will now be going as Shacles. That's the lawyer you want. Who am I this week? also you I do I do miss America the billboard lawyer

there's a lot of billboard lawyers that's not it's not no it's crazy no and if you actually yeah if you drive through America you do start going like

wow they're getting crazier like eventually some guys just biting the head off a chicken like I'll fuck the judge and you're like whoa what the hell what's going on over here all right

I like this guy I am the fucking law I ate my own poop. Wow, I don't know. Seems to be doing pretty well. That's the eighth billboard for that guy's seen.

Oh, God, Agile, in your place. Cash back, guarantee. I live with you. Your wife's a bitch. Whoa, what the fuck? Okay. Back to Harry Owens. Okay.

Owens was arrested on Northeast First Street and gave his name as Harold Roland. Yeah, that's fine to do. That's how you do. Close. When the case was called, he sent a friend to answer to his name and pay whatever fine was imposed. It's fine. So far, what's the problem with this?

No issue. Right? No issue. Different name, send a different guy. If you can get away with it. Yeah, good, a good path. Yeah. That's the time to do it as well.

1929. Absolutely. Yeah. You swear to God? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Judge Brown, true. admission from him that he did not appear the first day. He was fined $100 and costs and five days in

jail and an additional 25 days if he was unable to pay. So they caught him. So it didn't work. Okay. That's the story. That's a really bad first story. That's a bad first story. And Preston, shame on you. Yeah. Go ahead. Tell him. Preston, son of a bitch. Yeah. Preston, you know what? We're going to find you $100. Yeah. By the way, we're suing you for $2 million. you fucking asshole. Nick's part of the lawsuit. Nick is going to see the lawsuit. Not much going on in Miami before they're cocaine and the gun running.

They were dying for Scarface. Oh my God. They were like, yeah, Miami, they were like, it's just a lot of sand. They'd cocaine and they were like, oh shit, things have changed. You blokes will not be surprised to know I had a Scarface poster when I was 16. Nick, Nick does not at all surprise me. Nick, I don't mean to sound rude, but we know. Yeah, you're ashamed.

We knew that one. Well, you know, what's very funny. And also, as a 16-year-old being like, oh, love Skyface. Fucking Skyface. I'm going to drink so many bees. I can relate to it. In the Western suburb.

Yeah, yeah, that's right. It's a look like more paper wrap. On the Scarface in the mail. Gareth had a big poster of Crocodile Dundee. Yeah, they did. No, it's your guy. Yeah, there's a big guy. Oh, we're all learning from each other's cultures.

Yeah. And I had Yahoo! Serious. Man, you know what we got to do next time we tore us? We've got to try to get Yahoo! Oh, my God. I mean, he won't do it. He's like a recluse now, right?

Nick, you probably know. Nobody knows who he is. Yes. Yeah, I believe, yeah. He, not in hiding, but he's like, he doesn't have a lot going. on. He's like, I'm Bill serious. Yeah, I don't think it's a, I don't think it's a self-imposed recluse. I think it's a, like, everyone's like, that's a tough one.

They're like, wow, he really, he's a bit of a record. Apparently, he was squatting somewhere last year. Yeah. What? Like in a, in a very rich suburb in Sydney. That's a movie. Now we got a movie. I don't think we want to make that movie. It's very depressing. We'll get purple pingers to produce it with us. Garrett, the pastimes is brought to you by Mint Mobile. I get a little wary when we do these.

I love the product. They're the best, but. Smooth it all out. Look, Mint Mobile, of course, a great mobile phone service. I use it. Garrett uses it. It's just as good as the other ones. It's just a lot cheaper.

Take your phone, take your phone numbers, same towers. It's just cheaper. That's the only, that's the only quote unquote problem. Why would you want to spend more for wireless? They're sick. They're just, they're just sticking it to people. The wireless companies are sticking it to people. You got a sick thing where you like losing money?

And Mint mobiles, wireless plans, no gimmicks, no gotches, high speed data, reliable coverage on the T-Mobile 5G network. So they're on that. And right now plans are just $15 a month, even the unlimited. And there's the only knock against them at all is they, you know, the phone taste on like mint, that whole thing's been debunked. No, it doesn't. It does.

It does. It does. No, it does not. No, it does not. No. So I've tasted every part of it. I tasted yours. You can even bring your phone or your phone number.

You can choose between three, six, 12 month plans. And then your monthly bill's gone. It's, trust me, this is the way to go. It just is. This is the way to go. And if you just lick the top of your phone, just the top, that's what I've been told. I definitely lick the top over the time. So it's not.

That's where the mint comes out. There's no way. You give that a shot while I read this. To get your- I'm not just right on the ridge at the top? Just right the very top. That's what they said. That's why it has been tasting like mint.

Can I run my finger on it and then put my finger on my mouth? With the tongue. With the tongue. Go ahead and lick that bad boy. They trust me, they said that. That's what you guys have been doing wrong because I had a whole meeting with them. Why don't you? Why can I see you lick yours?

My phone's in the other room. To get your new wireless plan. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com. It tastes like garbage. It tastes crap. Take crap. It's weird. It tastes crap again.

I'm not looking at the phone again after that. That's Mittmobile.com slash pastimes. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at Mittmobile.com slash pastimes. That's it. There's no catch, upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for $12 for $12.00 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy includes up to 200 gigabyte hotspot capable device required, availability, speed, and coverage very C-MintMobile.com. How's that taste, though?

Good. Nice minty. It's bad. It tastes like a regular phone. In a horrible way. Like a spirit. Yeah, I get it, experiment. All right.

What? The pastime is also brought to you by Hymsexual health. We're talking about ED. Look. You're talking about my penis? Yeah, I'm talking about your penis. We're talking about my penis? Look, there's a moment where you notice that something's wrong and it sticks with you.

Yep. Hangs in there. Most guys, they leave it. They let it have fester too long. let it go on too long. They don't jump on it. No, they treat it like an uncle on the Adams family. They just,

it's fester. Hymns makes it simple to actually do something about it with real treatment options. It's 100% online. So the whole deal is online. You don't got to go anywhere. And look, these are issues every guy has. Performance issues, getting older.

Most guys have it. It's more treatable than you think. It just is. most guys go through this at some point I know Gareth has been in some situations been in a real what I call a bone slump and so they connect you with Hymns connects you with licensed health care providers online

It's like God gave me the wrong dong You get simple eating treatments right from home you'd have to go to an appointment and you'd have to go to a pharmacy online intake talk to your provider they determine what's right for you and then it gets shipped right to your door and it's

and there's not a big package on the side that says E-D like it's it's it's not the only place there's not a big package they hide it that's what I'm saying so him's up to 95% off brand name brand name

so this is the way to go straightforward transparent take care of you to get simple online access to personalized affordable care for ED and more, visit Hems.com slash dollops. That's H-I-M-S.com slash dollop. Hems.com slash dollop, not available

on all 50 states. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information. Sildenafil is the generic version of Viagra. Viagra is a registered trademark of Viatris specialty LLC. HIMS is not affiliated with or endorsed by Viatris.

Mine's been dulled down. The past time is also brought to you by Rocket Money. Oh, David. It's a Rocket. I did a Rocket. They have a slogan. They don't want the, they don't need that. They got the jingle.

Was that true? Yeah, there's the Jingle at the end. I don't think that's true. Yeah. Look, Rocket Money is going to save you some sweet. No, there's no jingle. There's a jingle. Rocket Money is going to save you some sweet, sweet cash.

That's what Rocket Money does. It can track subscriptions, and it has the ability to cancel on one. wanted ones within the app that you're using there. A few taps, they've saved people over 880 million and canceled subscriptions. We have both had several subscriptions. There I am, drunk with Steve Berg, trying to show him my special. And he doesn't have an Apple TV, so I download a program to show it off my phone. 9.95 a month it is.

And I'm drunk, and I go, yeah, okay. and then three weeks later, before it renews, Rocket money saves me from paying for, and it didn't even work for a screen mirroring thing that didn't even work. There's a lot of people out there.

A lot of people out there doing drunk and subscribing. It's a piece of thing. Oh, yeah. It's a big bottle. So, yeah, it can also keep track of your spending across accounts with customizable categories and everything.

It's really good. It saved me a bunch of money. It's a good. money. It's a money saver. Got an alcohol problem. I have a problem with alcohol. So we both recommend it and yeah, it saved my, it cut 300 bucks off my internet every year.

Save my marriage. Yeah, saved his marriage. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. We're going to do it. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Try for $0 at RocketMoney.com slash stop. That's ragamone.com slash dollop.

Rugamoney.com slash dollop. All right, girls, whenever you're ready. Oh, Rocky money, rocket money, rocket money, go ahead and save yourself some Pockamone. Survey shows women cause few accidents. Come on. What are we doing right now? We're having a hang.

Why do we... Come on. What are you doing, guy? Come on. I was having a good read. And what are we doing? Here we go. Here's a shock for men drivers.

A recent survey conducted in 30 states showed that only 5% of all accidents were due to women driving cars. By the way, they didn't let them drive. So that's why. That's what I was just thinking. Yeah. They weren't letting them drive.

So they're like, that was a shocking statistic. This is like 10 years ago saying that Saudi Arabia. Women have caused no cars. For some reason, women are the safest driver out here. Don't know what it is. That is, according to a sales executive, the AC Spark Plug Company. Hello. It was also found that on an average more...

Oh, no, it's a big plug. The big plug, yep. It was also found that on an average, more women drivers bring in their cars at regular intervals for mechanical checkup, which includes brake inspection. You know what? I'm a little sick of being responsibility shamed. Okay? Let us handle.

The guys got this. Yeah. I'm so sick of this. And again, this is leading to they get the spark plugs replaced more often. This is all big spark plug. We can't trust this survey. It's big, it's big, yeah. It's spark face, which I believe was one of your heroes growing up, right, Nick?

In Miami, they had spark face? It's very exciting. What are you just done? Say hello First you get the inspection Then you get the The employers Then you get the women

Yeah Say hello Do my head mechanic I don't know if I can show Nick this But this is I mean this is a picture What are you going to show him That

Try to show him If he can't show you Nick And for those listening I'll just say Picture an old chubby white Oh yeah There you go It just went off, but it was exactly who I picked it.

You said an old chubby white, you nailed it. Yep, thank you. This guy's got a real guess who head. Oh, man. Remember guess who, Nick, how guess who made you a, like, sexist? Because you'd be like, ah, fuck, I got a woman. Because there'd be like five women on the original board that I had. It was like, fine.

So you'd be like, are you a woman? And you'd be like, oh, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. You'd knock them all down. You'd be like, are you Julia? Yeah, you've got to ask it in a nicer way. Did they only cause 5% of accidents in 1929? Did they have to fight for the right to vote? Did your character have to fight for the right to vote?

Eyesite recovered with sun treatment. Huh? What's going on here? It's not. Here we go. Whatever the story is, it's absolute bullshit. Okay. It's got to be.

Yeah. Yeah. This could be the news now. That's what's terrifying. Yeah. This is an RFK Jr. Story. Well,

let me tell you something. Declaring that he is living... He's just drinking the reflecting pool. Robert, no. Oh, a lot of that's not slipping down properly, but you want that. Declaring that he is living in a new world, A.D. Williams, 60-year-old apartment house owner, discussed the recovery of...

his sight after years of partial blindness as the greatest event of his life. Well, yeah, what? How do you get it? Yeah, you get your sight back. That's a pretty big deal. Yeah. I ate a scorpion. Now I could see him, yeah.

I sat in a shit pool. I drank a lot of seawater. I ate a rotting whale. I ate my wife. Now I gained her eyes. Robert. Robert. Maybe he went to sleep instead of the cucumbers on the eyes.

He had the Trump coins that were for sale. That'll do it. The UFC Freedom 250. That will do it. That will do it. You're going to wake up able to see, Robert. Did he sell, did he sell, did they sell coins? They paid the fighters in coins or in crypto, right?

They paid the fighters in crypto? In a type of cryptocurrency, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bonuses were given in crypto. Yeah. Truth Social got a plug, which is my favorite one, Favorite announcement from Bruce Buffer yet?

It is, yeah. Because the UFC, they'll take anything, they'll take any money to advertise anything for a fight. So you'll hear Bruce Buffer go, the fight brought you by the Equalizer 12, Jason Statham in cinemas. You always hear just the weirdest shit. That is so funny.

But it's so funny. That's awesome. The only place when you're going to get real observational, I mean, it's, I have a, I have a trump coin. No far off. When he made peace with North Korea, I have, I bought the coin. That was the best thing he ever did. And I'm not kidding, as president.

He went over there. The guy gave him a letter and he was like, he's a cutie pie. Leave him alone. He's my friend. Everyone's like, okay, whatever, what happened over there? He sent Trump and Dennis Roddenova. literally did like the celebrity apprentice and he came back and he was like

I don't think he's going to nuke us and we were like okay I guess thank you all the liberals were mad you can't talk to him and it's like yeah he can't what he did he came back and he was like they were so chill yeah it's just like that's when you were genuine

I was like maybe there's something to this and then Trump 2.0 he's like this fucking cock's we're gonna show him okay How about no gas? How about no gas? Okay, several years ago, Mr. Williams, who was a builder, began to suffer from headaches and found his eyesight greatly impaired.

He was fitted with glasses, which gave temporary relief, but later headaches returned. His new glasses failed to correct his defects of vision. He became nearly blind and was unable to perceive details of objects. He only could see the form of objects. and distinguished light from dark objects. So impaired was his eyesight. He has dog eyes. I,

the thing is, is I got more racist. My eyes got racist. Black. Robert, no, no, I'm just saying. Fat, black. Fat, white. Sir. What?

These are my exercises. He was unable to continuous business and was forced to give up reading. Fat white, business. Skinny black. In my house. Stop it. Tiny white.

Also tiny black. Thinking over his affliction, Mr. Williams recalled that one night while seated in Elser pier on the bay, he heard a man say it, it is not necessary to wear glasses and that people should be, should be able to live to 150 years old. Wow. I mean, okay, yeah. They're all good points. Yeah. Why stop at 150?

These are, this is what happens when you're on a dock. Yeah. Stay on the dock long enough, you'll hear some shit like that. You know, if a man had gills, we wouldn't need the oceans. Excuse me? Are you talking to me? My daughter's missing. What?

Fat, black. Are there any, are there any sports in L.A.? where you see like there's a river near my place called the Maribonong River and there's no fucking way you would eat fish out of that that you see a little fishing there and you're like the L.A. River. This is a mental health thing or...

No, I saw a guy fishing the L.A. River there. I was like, what are you doing? It's like fishing for oil. You may as well fish in a toilet. Like literally may as well put a worm on a hook and drop it in a porta potty and be like, ooh, they got some nice food, that nice stuff down there. But there's no... If I'm in L.A., there's no seafood of the day.

fresh from the LA River. I've never seen that on a menu. Judging by your seafood standards, I think you'll be fine eating from the LA River. You can get your little fucking crab sticks, okay? This is the problem with Australia. We got the best food in the world and the worst food in the world.

Yeah, we do too. I kind of think that's here too. I mean, here you can get the best things ever and then also people... Just shit. Yeah, you'll just be like, you realize you're eating pink slime that's deep fried.

and then like, that's delicious. I know, but it's good. So good. I mean, you walk, but no, my- You do beat us. You do beat us. We, I'm not trying to pull rank, but we are absolute. I mean, we are a trash fire.

But my friend Burns used to manage this building that had a coy pond, and he was out on his balcony one day at, like, this third floor or whatever, and he saw some guy sneak into the building and start throwing coy fish into a bag. And he was like, hey, hey! And the guy was like, whoa. It like ran out. He's like, what the fuck? Guys are going to go eat the coy fish from our apartment pond?

Those are worth like $5,000. But man, are they tasty? That tastes so good. Yeah, I think everything about coy fish is good luck until you ate them. Then it's bad luck. You've had a run of bad luck. Imagine hearing that after you ate one. Wait, what?

Yeah, just don't eat them. Then you're cursed. Oh. Oh. Okay. Oh, dear. Hmm. No.

Well, here in L.A. we have the ocean, so that's where we get any fresh. There's no freshwater fish that we're getting here that we're enjoying. I'm a little out on the ocean for a little while, too. I'm a little concerned. Ocean's a little red. Ocean's a little flaggy at this point. Yeah, a few years ago, and they're like, by the way, you get tons of mercury if you eat tuna. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Okay. Thinking over his affliction, Mr. Williams recalled that one night, while seated in Elser Pier on the bay. Yeah, the guy was... He heard a man say it's not necessarily with glasses and the people should live to be 150 years old. If you jerk me off, you can be 150 to get the vision. Go ahead, go ahead and put your mouth on it.

Come on. Hey, who's not taking that risk? You've got to roll the dice. The next day you wake up with bad vision. God damn it. What's a matter, Grandpa? I just jerked a guy up for no reason. Deathbed.

Your ladies is going blind. Fuck, I couldn't... But to be on your deathbed, going, who knows? One hand job, but I could be another 70 years. You'd rather do it than pass it up. Because if you do it, you go, that guy fucking got a free hand job. But if you didn't, you'd be like, I might have just, I might have not jacked off a wizard.

What did they do out there? But then also explaining, explaining to your great, great, great, great grandkids at your 140th birthday, how you've lived so old. And everyone else has died. What's the secret, grandpa? I don't really want to get into it. it. All right, I got some cod oil. Is it diet? No, nothing to, no. I don't want to get, don't

fish at that pier unless you're really sick. There's a man on that dog. There's a guy, he's got some weird, I don't know what's going on. He's got a life-giving cock! There's a sick, sick wizard down there. He's got some potions. I don't know what he's doing. He's got a weird, anyway. So he began the search for some remedy for his increasing blindness. Intuitively, he turned to the sun. as a curative agent.

That's right. Oh, that. I feel like I'm picked on. Gareth, you may be the same. Oh, Dave, similarly complexion as well. People may go, you need the sun. And I'm like, no, I keep getting shit cut out of me. I think I need to be inside.

Yeah, no, you don't need the sun. Yeah, the sun is a less thing. Those recommendations are surely put out there for some reason, but any dermatologist will be like, but not you. No. No. No. You're a night guy

You go out at night, my little ghost Uh So it was a theory of Yeah, that's a breakfast radio and stand up comedy Oh yeah It's the only time I'm out of the house That's so fucking funny Nick after before breakfast radio

After the clubs he's just out on the pier You want to get you vision back Is that your vape Mr. Cody? No So it was It was a theory from a wizard. I've borrowed this.

It was his theory that by subjecting his eyes to the sun's rays, he would be benefited. His family opposed his theory, but he persisted, and for three days lay on a cot with his face uncovered staring at the sun. Well, that's, come on now. That's extreme. At the end of the third day, his face was swollen and blistered. It's working. It's working. What's Grandpa doing?

I think he's trying to roast himself, hon. Grappa looks sick. That should be the mascot for the Miami Heat. Oh, my God. A blistered old man. It's a big blistered head. Go heat. Go heat.

Let's go heat. Let's go heat. There's no one in there. Sir, there's not a game today. I can't see. Black! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, sir.

Stop. Consulting a friend, he was told that it is between noon and 3 p.m. That the sun rays burns. So he continued his treatments up to noon and after 3 p.m. And was rewarded with improved vision. So that was it. It was a time thing. Okay, sure.

He had setbacks in his recovery. Sure. But he kept adding to the sun treatments, various exercises and massage. And since December 1926, he has devoted 14 hours a day to the task of regaining his eyesight. Today he reads newspapers without glasses and sees distant objects clearly. I mean, this is, this is very, uh. This paper just took a real dive. This paper just, this paper just got a little strange.

He can finally see his reflection clearly, but it's a big blistered head. I look horrible! Why did you let me do that? Grandpa. Oh, my God! I'm burned! I'm horribly burned! Black!

Stop it, Grandpa! We're always told not to stare at things. Now I stare at everything I see. I read every sign I see, and I read the signs. Stop. Part of Mr. Williams. One way. Part of Mr. Williams.

35 MPH. No parking. No parking. Part of Mr. Williams' self-device treatment is a five-mile walk every day. All right, that's good. Yeah. No problem with that. Sure.

On it, he searches the roadside for signs to read. Oh, free lawyer will kill. judge. Hell yeah. Call the law terminator. Shit yeah. He never wears a hat.

No, of course not. Now again, I'm just picturing a positive Freddie Kruger. You know, he's the same head, but the speak is for good. No knife hands. He's not attacking in dreams.

Oh, Jesus Christ. That guy wearing a sweater. I cured my own vision. Excuse me? I cured vision. I sucked a wizard's dick on a bay. What? Hello.

Hi. It is possible in her gaining sight to have long or short sight, but he advises practice that will enable one to have both. Mr. Williams disclaims any wish to make money of his discovery. I am so happy over regaining my sight, I want everyone afflicted as I was to regain theirs. And if I can help them by telling about it, I will be glad. I guarantee you this year, more blind people died than the year before.

Yeah. But people went blind. Yeah. Blind people are like, here's the sun. He'd be on a podcast now. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. This guy, Rogan's like, Jamie, pull that up.

This guy cured his eyesight. Just like the David Goggins of vision. Oh, this is good. He is planning some experiments with children and believes that it will be possible to correct sight defects in three weeks and save them from the necessity of wearing glasses. Oh, boy. It's never good to hear I'm planning some experiments with children.

That's never good. I planted some experiments with children. Dave, you've got glasses. If you had to choose glasses or melanoma, what would you go with? Oh, fuck. That's a tough one. I'm going to go with living with glasses. Interesting.

It's an interesting call there. Took a while. Wow. Dave's out in the yard. It's a tough choice. It's cowardly. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a weak. It's a beta soy boy position. I'm a scared little boy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I did not science. Yeah.

I'm a big science denier. Yeah. Have we? Let's just take a group poll. Anyone here laid out in the sun? spread their butt cheeks? Dave? Nope.

Nick? No. Okay. All right. All right, that's the end of this round. Go ahead. You probably have. Go ahead.

You probably have. Go ahead. Are you one of those fucking guys? I was, I could finally see through it again. That was why I did it. I mean, being able to see it asshole would be the worst thing ever. Worst thing, are you out of your mind?

Imagine crawling. You'd be like, the advantage. It's like a periscope. Got him. It's like having a backup camera in your asshole. It'd be awesome. That's what I said about the backup camera. I was like, I don't want it.

I couldn't live without it. That's the same thing with having an eye in your ass. Do you put a little window in your pants? Honestly, at that point, I don't think I'm wearing pants. I'm not worried about anyone fucking with me. I'm crawling anywhere I want naked. Maybe that's what the assless chaps are. Maybe they just haven't told us.

of their powers. Well, you're going to have to spread, though. The problem is you're not, you know what I mean? It's like kind of a closed eye unless you kind of pull it apart. Yeah, you're going to want to kind of tape it up. Tape it open? Put a match stick. Match stick in there.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Clockwork orange. Clockwork orange. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. How's Gareth?

He's not doing great. It's not great. I hear you. Once he discovered. I see you talking about me. Once he found out. out that he could see out of his asshole and hear out of his penis. He's been really hard to be right.

There's some food over here. Yeah, there's a sandwich out on the table for you. This could be good. He's been handstand walking everywhere. Horrible sunburned. I'll outlive the lot of you. Yeah. The term is dog pops.

Oh, fuck. There's the filthy cyclops again. Hello! The dirty cyclops. Marvel presents. Oh, fuck. Pajama-clad Aviator on tour of country. There we go.

Clad in orange pajamas, Ronald Daly, Oklahoma Oilman, arrived here today from Tulsa by airplane. Is it a prisoner? Yeah. No, it's a regular film. Is this a regular gentleman? It's just a con air. It's just a rich guy.

That's what he sold everyone. Do you like my pajamas with a number on the chest? Beautiful. Are you, did you escape? No, I'm quite well off. I'm doing quite well, madam. How about a rich man pajama tour? Excuse me.

I'm a pilot, you fool. He announced he had started a pajama wearing air tour of the country. I think you're a prisoner. In the interest of... No, no, no. Quote, more sensible clothes for men. This is a new look for the man of the next century. That's it?

That's it. Wow, fuck me. He's a guy flying around in pajamas. I need attention. Yeah. Please. Hello. Gareth Adelip is brought to you by Squarespace.

Ah. All in one website, platforms that's going to help you stand out and succeed online. They do everything. We've been working with Squarespace for a long time. We never stopped. All of our websites over Squarespace. Why? Because it's super easy to use.

There's nothing updating. You get 24-7 support. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer your services and get paid from consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. You can get paid on time. You're in the game.

Professional on-brand invoices and online payment. With Squarespace, you're in the game. game, period. Garris website is with Squarespace. You can go there and check out the dates that he has coming up. Head to Squarespace.com slash dollop for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use offer code, dollop to save 10% of your first purchase of a website or domain. That's Squarespace.com slash dollop for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, use offer code dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And we're brought to you by Airbnb. Okay, Montreal is a city I've always wanted to properly. explore. If I were to go this summer, I'd want to do it right. I'm talking about wandering the plateau, grabbing a wood-fired bagel from Fairmont Bagel at 9 a.m., catching the jazz festival where some of the best musicians in the world are just playing outside for free in the middle of the city. Maybe sitting in Mount Royal Park with absolutely nothing on my schedule. That's my kind of trip. And here's where

my brain goes. If I'm daydreaming about wandering around in Montreal, that means my place back home is just sitting empty. And that's the thing that actually clicked for me. While I'm away, I could be listing MySpace on Airbnb. Someone else gets a real home and a real neighborhood, close to hiking trails, a great farmer's market, the kind of charming little main street where everything closes by 9 p.m. Somehow that's exactly the appeal. And I come back with a little extra cash towards the trip. The math works out pretty well for everyone. It's genuinely one of those moves that just makes sense. Whether it's a long weekend or a couple of weeks, your home doesn't have to sit there doing nothing. Listing on Airbnb while you're away is always a great way to

make your homework for you and fund the next adventure. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca.ca. slash host. Cubans consider calendar change. Oh, fuck. I would. Committee to study 13-month proposal. But why? This. Why would you do it? All right. What do we think?

No, opposed. I don't think you can do it because the whole sun, something. Planet. Look, I don't even know how we arrived at the calendar we have now, but we're in. It's based on the sun, basically. I mean, it started with. You don't need to tell me. I'm the dirty cyclops.

Well, at one point, they did time with just from sunset to sundown, and then they're like, why don't we parse this up into, and then they got minutes and everything and then it slowly turned into, everything turned into a calendar. Because they were like four seasons. Yeah, they were like, oh, this, this is how the sun works. Look, it has a rotation. The climate's about to go absolutely fucking crazy. So if we want to swap it now, that's fine. But when you arrive at something like that, it's like, that's like with the metric system. It's just like, what the fuck is with the U.S.? We were like, nah, nah, nah, nah, we got an idea. It was like, just go with the other one, you fucking

assholes. Now you've got to be confused. Or plugs when you go to another country. You're like, you couldn't just do the regular you couldn't have a fucking meeting and get together and be like, this is it. This is the plug for the world. Go ahead, Nick. I apologize. Well, there's some countries

of the other, they're running on other years. I was in Thailand the other week with our mate, Carl Chandler, woke up one morning, had a look. I was like, what date is it? And I had a look at the date on my phone. And it was like June 6th, 2569. and I was like, fucking, how much did I drink?

I've gone 500 years into the future. Wait, what was it? Am I the new Encino man? What do you mean? What was it doing? No, the current Thai year is 2569B, Buddhist era. But I just saw June 4, 2569. I'm like, ah, fuck.

That is what happened. The funniest fucking thing had to be like, oh my God. It happened to me. you're walking down the street. What year is this? Oh, this movie was out when I was alive. What's wrong with Nick? Your moped technology is quite similar to my time as well.

Do you still serve pad tie in this world? Beers are still $3? We're good. I just immediately forget that I'm 500 years in the future. You wake up the next day, do it again. Nick's combined waking up 500 years in the future at Groundhog Day. Oh my God!

500 years! Morning, Mr. Cody. Hello, Joyce. Ah! My name is Nick Cody. Committee to study 13-month proposal. Do you have crab stickers? I like fake crab fried.

Hello! Crab extender. I need a crab extender. I need a crab extender. I fell asleep in a different time. I'm the Sigourney Weaver of Thailand. Hello. I need to find a mate.

Jesus Christ. I mean, a lot of people that go to Thailand for that. A special commission was appointed today to study proposals for simplification of the calendar, in accordance with a resolution adopted by the six-penes. Pan American Conference here last year. The new calendar proposed in resolutions adopted by the League of Nations and upon which action of the Pan American Conference was based would give the year 13 months of 28 days each. Oh.

Oh, so we're shaving. But is that enough? No. Close. Close. Close. Close, but not enough. 65 dies.

No, actually, it would work. Well, you have some that are. Yeah, it would work because you're shaving two out of each one. That would work. Yeah. That's crazy. I like that pitch now. Yeah.

It's 365 days in a year. You can't divide that by 12 perfectly. So there's going to be a... Not perfect, but think of February or like, you know, summer 31 and 30. So you might have a little wonkiness. But if you took two out of every one, that would be 12. That would be 24 and you'd be shaving two out of each one. So you'd be close.

Maybe they're trying to solve the leap. leap day I swear, honest to God, I'm open to getting rid of leap day pitches at this point. Yeah, 100%

just because of anyone who's born on leap day Oh, the worst. I'm only nine. Leap day should be, what we should do is, and again,

I'm very anti-ice, okay? But leap day, we should have an ice-like group that goes around and everybody who's having a leap day birthday and bragging about it,

they go into a van and we're taking you somewhere and you might not see your loved one. Yeah. Bermatt. Yeah. And my birthday's already four years. Get in the van!

Get in the van! Cattle prodding, quiet. Nobody gives a fuck. I'm actually four. Shut up! Um... The Boeing Airplane Factory here is one of the most useful institutions in the country. Someday we'll be crashing.

And killing people. And killing people who talk about it. Do you know what whistleblowers are? Boeing will be killing them. Whistleblowers have. the highest suicide rate in the history of society. It's a very stressful. It's a very stressful thing to be a Boeing whistleblower.

It always ends the same, in a truck with a gun. Or a hammer to the head. Sometimes you've just got to tie your hands and feet behind your back and jump off a roof. You're so stressed. The most flexible employee base in the world, Boeing. I hogged up. myself to jump off a building.

Boeing. Yeah. He showed himself in the head three times. He was under a lot of pressure after the whistleblowing. Unbelievable that he could pull it off with his arms handcuffed behind his back, but he was great. It was amazing. It's what made him such a great ingenue. It builds swift pursuit planes for the Navy is building a dozen planes to carry 18

passenger each. Fuck, can you imagine? That's not a lot. That's not a lot. That's crazy. Oh, my God. I don't know Nick it's gotten I'd last time we were there or is that just a normal size plane now but they used to give you a lot more

well it's probably a smaller plane but still I remember flying there probably five or six years ago and you're like oh man there's actually some room in America's not every time you get on a plane in America it's the same thing it's someone some underpaid person is like this is in a completely full flight so hurry up you're like oh god yeah here we go pack and it's squeeze you I've flown Southwest a few times over there.

I'll give you a tip. If you want an aisle seat on South. No, but if you want an aisle seat, just walk towards the back. No one wants to do that in America. It's free. I'll seat to free, Rose 15 onwards. I do pretty much go to the back of the plane. But you know Southwest changed their boarding style.

Now they're just regular. They're going back. Are they? Yeah, everyone hated it so much. Oh, that's awesome. My favorite American plane fact. I love the show Air Crash Investigation. I think you call it May Day over there.

And there was a plane in the 40s or 50s in Texas that took off and stalled on takeoff and then crashed to the ground and they didn't know what had happened. And there'd been nothing wrong with the plane. And then they finally figured out that they hadn't adjusted. Sorry, it was a few decades later, but they hadn't adjusted the average American weight. Uh-oh. And you want to talk shit about how back your country is. So the plane is installed on takeover. because we're huskies.

Are you saying because we're husky? That is so funny for, like, some investigator like dusting for fingerprints and like, you know, Gabe, they're pretty fucking fat. It's true, isn't it? You know, it might have something to do it that these people are, how do I put this, getting fat as fuck.

I can't get fingerprints, because there's Cheeto dust on every one of these mitts. Oh my God, a missile. That's a finger, Ted. No, I thought there was foul play. Jesus Christ, this guy had a real sausage mitt. Speaking of sausages, this guy has a pocket full of them. Yeah, most of these people are just casings.

You know, I think Americans looked at their skin as casings. But in the long rows of 1,500 skilled mechanics turning out work that requires precision, concentration, and pride, good craftsmanship, you find no native-born Americans. There are Norwegians, Swedes, Scotchman, Englishmen, Belgians, Frenchmen that work, none American-born. Wow. Jesus. She'd find you calm down. Yeah. I don't need your bullshit.

I mean, it's true. Honestly, Dave. It seems weird that you're defending America. I kind of just had Europeans. I really listed a whole lot there. Yeah, no, there was a list. There was a list. Yeah, they really twisted that fucking knife.

Yeah. They really, yeah, they were like, they just went through every country. And certainly not Americans. I was watching this World War I documentary. And man, the, you have to do it. But man, the level of like, everything was pretty fucked.

But then America decided to enter the war. You're like, you're fucking good. Christ. We basically, we rolled in when everybody was dead. Yeah, we were, we rolled it. Honestly, that's what we did. We were, like, in a marathon and we walked it the whole time. And then, like, when people were, like, halfway through, we're like, I'm going to run.

And then when people were like, well, we're so much faster than all these losers. It was like, they're all dead. Yeah, we like to go. We won that one. There is, uh, there are people now that, uh, they run their Kokoda trail. Kokoda was a big thing in World War II. Um, in, like, like Southeast Asia, a lot of fighting took place on the Kokoda Trail, very dangerous,

a lot of deaths, blah, blah, blah. But now people will run it as like a charity fundraiser thing and just run the Kokoda Trail and be like, guys, I did it in three days. How incredible. It's like very different circumstances, I think. Last one. All right. A brilliant boy from this city, Wilbur Houston, son of Bishop Houston, selected as the brightest

American boy will be trained to succeed Thomas Edison. His kid needs his ass kicked so hard. I'm the brightest American boy. Did you hear where he? Yeah, he's going to fucking go after Edison. He's going to be trained to succeed Edison. I got something that'll succeed Edison right fucking here, you little nerd. Yeah?

You want to piece? I got two things that'll succeed Edison right here, huh? He will not succeed Edison, of course. Here's some science for you. Left front good night. Have you heard of the Cody theory? A new law of physics, two hits. I hit you, you hit the ground.

Hey, you like telescopes? I'm going to kick the shit out of you. The mere fact of his selection, the undeserving process of spoiling to which you would be subjected could make that impossible, even if he had Edison's genius. the boy will address large audiences on how it feels to be the brightest boy in America. Man, I swear to God, if I was my age right now and I was at that, I'd be like, I don't like this little kid. Oh, I'm kicking the shit out. The way did you have to do it?

It's pretty simple. He's got chalk. I'd be like, fuck that. I'm absolutely killing him. X is always consistently going to be the same number. Every 10 years or so where there's some kid that's like 13 that gets into Harvard. But then I'll never hear any follow-up stories about them. so I assume it doesn't end well.

No, it doesn't. It never ends well. You know who's done well? The guy who's got a podcast and thought Benjamin Franklin was a president. You don't hear about those kids, but we're out there too. Go ahead. Okay, so for every 13-year-old that goes to Harvard, there's some guy who smoked enough weed out of a diet Pepsi can

to not know what a president was. Go ahead. Weed out of a diet Pepsi can. You're making new chemicals. Oh, yeah. I certainly, I was like, I don't know if that weed's good or that can's awesome. I'll tell you what, my eyes hurt so much. I need to go lay in the sun for a few days.

That was not how Edison began. He thought about a telegraph instrument and how to send two messages over the same wire. He didn't listen to grown people praising Thomas Edison. Wow. Young Wilbur is a good boy to do. To the test question, what would you do if you had a million dollars? He answered that he would use it in a parish work for the church. Edison wouldn't have given that answer 70 years ago.

Okay. And then Preston did an update. Oh, we got an update. This kid has his ass kick. He went on to work for NASA and launched seven satellites. Oh, shit. So I guess he was actually smart. You know what else is smart?

Nighty and tidy. Wham, wham, wham. Wham, wham. Yeah. I'll launch you like a rocket, you little believe it. Huh? Oh, you like working with it? Yeah, you work with atomic stuff?

How about an atomic wedgy? That's where the underpants rip when I jam them so far up your taint. What you call that satellite? Cuck? But he was also working in a time. They couldn't really track it. They were just flinging shit into space. That's right.

You know? Probably the best time to be involved in satellite launching. Yeah. Well, I can't imagine a prodigy lying about what he's put up in space anymore, not in this day and age. Nick, thank you for joining us. People should listen to Midfight Brawl. Go watch your show, Crusher.

They can go to Century. Crusher. Is that where they go? Century Talent? Century.com.com. I've got a special out on YouTube. Check that out. unit. The delay boy.

Deli is killing me. You didn't have to put a few more satellites up. I know. You fought through it really well, truly. I think that's the best we've made the delay work just now. I mean, it is kind of amazing that you are on, you know, thousands of miles away and we're talking to you. I mean,

it is. Have you heard about optimistic Dave? I'm like, what's up with these two? Optimistic Dave pops out once every this guy. Once every six months, this fucking little sweetheart shows himself. Hey, you know, but Nick, it's back in the day, we would have had to get, we would have had to get a calling card from 7-11

and now we can talk through the TV. I mean, at the end of the day, I feel like you're being a little negative, my guy. Who the fuck is this guy? I'm sorry, I was thinking about Edison. I mean, when you think about it, Zoom is really a huge innovation. I mean, guys, look, it's pretty cool that we're able to do this. The sun will come up tomorrow. You don't even know the lyrics to it.

And that is? All right, Nick. Appreciate you, buddy.