The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 185 - Con Man Victor Lustig

Episode Date: June 26, 2016

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine Victor Lustig, one of the greatest conmen ever to live. SOURCESTOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

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week I read a story to my friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is gonna be about. Let's get that energy up Anthony. Come on. Come on buddy. Boom. Excuse me. What? I don't know how to get my energy up. What just happened? I'm tired. Never try to get your energy up again. I'm sorry I asked. Did you hear your boom-boom? So many boom-boom. Can we isolate that? I'd love that. It's my ring tone. Boom-boom. Do you want to look who to do? I'll do one bump. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gareth. Okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is not going to come to tickling podcasts. Okay. You are queen fakie of

made-up town. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle. And do what? Pray. Hi, Gary. No. Is he done, my friend? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This podcast is brought to you by our subscribers on Patreon. I want to thank each and every one of you. You guys are awesome. We also are on the All Things Comedy podcasting network. Yes. So check out all the other great podcasts on All Things Comedy. Yes. That's good stuff. January 4th. That happened because I was nervous. 1890. The 90s. Victor Lustig was born in the Austro-Hungarian Empire. His parents were, according to him, quote, poor peasant people who

struggled to survive in a grim house made of stone. Well, they were hungry. Also, that's a pretty intense description. Yeah. Well, that's kind of what I would picture Hungarians in the 1890s like. We live in Tum. Tum. Tum is home. Tum is where the heart is. Where I lay my head is Tum. His parents separated when he was eight. Jeez. That's a really crazy time for separation, right? I mean, like, yeah. That is gossip column shit. It really is. When Victor was 12 years old, his father bought him a violin and said he was going to be sent to Vienna to take lessons from the greatest masters in all of Austria. Okay. So Victor ran

away to Paris. More of an oboe guy. Where he hid for two months for spending time in a brothel. He was hiding in a brothel? Yeah. I know where to hide in a brothel. Oh, God. The police eventually found him and returned him to his father who smashed the violin over his head. Oh, oh, that is. And by the way, that's probably not one hard smash. No, that's a. That's an eight or nine-er. Yeah. That's an eight or nine-dinger. That is not an easy thing to break over. Yeah. Victor. Worth it. Victor took off and began a life of traveling. According to Victor in 1903, when he was 13, he was scavenging for food outside of a Budapest hotel. So

things are good. Yeah. He's loving it. When he saw a beautiful young woman in gold, a gold evening gown on a balcony, she was with an older man. At some point, the man handed the woman money and they left, leaving her their plates of food. Victor said this changed him forever. Quote, what I saw that night shattered my faith in women forever. Whoa. Little intense. Little intense. Yeah. That's your ease up. Yeah. They were big. I decided that anyone who could afford to leave plates of food while others starved did not deserve to keep their fortunes. I vowed to dedicate my life to the pursuit of cash and beautiful women. All right.

All right. Take it easy. All right, play it. All right, play it. Do you play it? Do you. Victor followed his brother, Emil, into crime. Wait a minute. A kid from Hungary is named Emil. Yep. That's got to get confusing. And your name? I'm Emil. I'm from Hungary. Well, normally when someone's hungry, you do give him a meal. Hello. Sit down, kid. He went for a pen handler to pickpocket, to burglar, and then to street hustler. Oh, that's quite a rise. He mastered every card trick known. Uh-huh. In 1908, Victor spent two months in a Prague prison for theft. Okay. That year he was arrested in Switzerland for, quote, false pretenses. Okay. And the next

April in Vienna, he was arrested for attempted false pretenses. I'm going to need to at some point get a little more specific. I don't know. I don't know. He had a plot to imagine. This is general trickery. It's the card stuff. Sure. He spent most of 1912 in prisons in Vienna, Prague and Zurich. Victor then began traveling first class on ships selling back and forth to America, fleecing businessmen. Okay. That's fun. On his fourth Atlantic crossing, Victor met Nicky Arnstein, a swindler who advised him, quote, you always, always let the sucker suggest the game. He must press you to get you to play. That's a good,

that's good advice. Yeah. Victor studied Arnstein and copied his dress manners and his swagger. So it's dirty rotten scoundrels. It is dirty rotten scoundrels. Yes. Which one? What was the Zackel Phenegas one? Was that dirty rotten scoundrels or was that just scoundrels? That's just scoundrels. I'm going to check out. World War One began. You may mentally check out. I just stopped my conversation. That's not how dialogue works. I asked you a question and then I halted the entire situation. Yeah. Then you got your answer and decided you were out. If I got my answer, I just decided that you got your answer. World War One

began and Victor dropped off the radar for four years. So no one knows where he was. Okay. When it ended. I hope he was taking violin lessons. I'm sure he was. When it ended in 1918, 28-year-old Victor went to New York. He wore the finest tan colored plaid suit, a silk shirt, camel hair topcoat, and carried a yellow cane and called himself Count Victor Lustig. I mean, that's how we do makeovers. That is exactly how we do makeovers. Also, I'm a count. Back then, you could just show up anywhere and say you were a count. I'm a count. Who's going to check? Yeah. I would estimate 40% of people were lying. Oh, yeah. Yeah, count. Yeah. I'm a duke.

I'm a count. I'm a king. I'm Jerry. Are you serious? Yeah, I guess. I don't know. He said he was a political exile from the Balkans who had been tossed out of his castles in a revolution. You've heard it a million times. Lost all my castles. I'm a Balkan prince and I got thrown out of my castle. Hello. Here I am wearing camel. Victor was first arrested in Kansas City for running a found wallet scam. It's where you find a wall with another guy and then you go, hey, they'll give us money if we blobby. Blah. I'm sorry. I'm not familiar with this wallet scam. Jump bail. Wait, what is the wallet scam? Am I

going to give away all the fucking secrets? Wait, what do you do? You're just like, I found a wallet. Give me your wallet. You drop a wallet on the ground and then there's another guy there and you go, hey, man, there's a wallet here and then you pick it up and you go, we should return it to the owner. And then you do some sort of scam when you go to the owner. The owner is also in on it and you do some sort of, hey, you know what, fellas, let's play the ponies with this money. Oh, okay. Or the owner is like, $60 is missing. You each owe me $30. That's my wallet scam. It's a side scam. It's a terrible one. When mine, nobody's in on it.

I'm losing a lot of money buying all these wallet decoys. At a party in Kansas City, Victor met Roberta Nort. She had come to the party with a date but ended up leaving with Victor. That's a love it game. Love it. I did that once. That's some game. That's game. There you go. Roberta was a small town girl from a poor Kansas family. Victor took her to Paris immediately, bought her a ivory chiffon dress with gold lame and told her she was a vision of an angel. They were married in New York on November 3rd, 1919. Okay. She felt insecure in a new role as Count Vister Lustig's wife and wanted to impress. Oh, don't worry. I'm full of shit. Oh, no. You

don't have to feel anything because I'm just fucking. I'm gonna call you Queen Victoria. You know, they should call me Count talking out of my asshole. Count talk you up. She brought, she bought books on conversations, meals on ships, fashions, anything that would help her live this new life. Book on conversation. Could you imagine? If you're reading this, you're a social butterfly. I mean, just a book on conversation. Ask him how he's doing. Have you read any good books lately? What do you think of the sky? Huh? I'm not good at conversation. Jesus, this was terrible. I have a robe. What? I have to go read my book. Oh, god. You know what?

I'm only a freshman at the conversation. I'm only on chapter four, which is when you learn how to talk about the sky. Nice sky, huh? Chapter four, the sky. Nice sky, huh? You could never go wrong by pointing out that there is a sky. You noticed there was a sky today? Hi. Yeah, I did. Yeah, it's, it's up in the sky. I'm peeing. I'm peeing all down my legs. Gotta go. I did too. Victor told his wife, quote, I want you to know that my work is different from any you have known. So on our next trip to Paris, I'll have to be away from you quite a bit because of my work. She never asked where he was going or what he was doing. After the trip,

Victor explained what the deal was, quote, my work is not illegal. I simply find people who are doing illegal things already and I merely assist them to further their illegal acts. Yeah, okay. I'm an illegal helper. Yeah, I help illegals. Is that not illegal? What? No, it's not illegal to help people doing illegal stuff. It's not illegal if they were already planning on doing it and it was illegal. Thank you. Then it's illegal. By the way, what's law? I do not know. Hey, how about that sky? No, honey, honey. Did you um... Fairy blue. Did you look at the sky when you were out today, honey? Honey, stop reading that book. Don't be

worried about me. I noticed that, oh boy, I'm going down my legs again. Roberta just told him that if he was going to do something illegal, just tell her and she would protect him. On another trip to Europe, they traveled as Mr. and Mrs. Eric von Kessler. Victor also kept money in lock boxes in every major city in the U.S. and Roberta kept the keys, like it. In 1919, Victor used his European connections to import high-end booze to the U.S. during prohibition. He teamed up with Jack Legs Diamond, a famous Irish-American gangster. Legs? Legs. Who had a great set of games. Well, he had giant legs and then his torso was

about a foot high. Get on my back, we can run there. I like how I got ostrich. They used to call me Jack ostrich diamonds. But then I told them to stop. Here, quick, put your head in the sand. They won't know where we are. Victor realized it was easier to sell bathtub gym with counterfeit labels. Bath tub what? Bath, you know, just gin you make. Oh, bathtub gym. Okay, right. He faked whiskey stickers and government stamps with a face value of three million and sold them. But he was shut down by the Secret Service. Two gangsters were pulling stickups on Wall Street, taking liberty bonds at gunpoint, so Victor then became

the middleman for the sale of the bonds. Nothing illegal there. Nope, just helping out illegals. Just helping a guy doing something illegal with another guy wants to do something illegal. What am I doing? I'm just helping a couple. I'm introducing a couple of illegal guys. What I'm doing is post-illegal. All right. On February 13, 1922, Victor and Roberta had a baby girl, Betty Jean. But Victor called her a skeezix. What? That was his nickname for her. Skeezix? S-K-E-E-Z-I-X. How's my little skeezix? Did she make dubstep? That's the worst nickname ever. What is he doing? She was scarred for life. Yeah. This is my little shit fuck. This is skeezits. Did she say

skeezits? No. That would be crazy. This is my daughter's skeezits. Oh god, okay. Keep her away from me. He looked at the sky today? No. Victor traveled under many aliases. Von Kessler was his favorite. He was often Count Von Kessler. He was also C.H. Baxter, a Rudolph Habagar, Victor Gross, Frank Gardner, Herman Keller, Helmut Strode, Monsignor Andre Dupree, and Pierre Duvall. I gotta say, I think every time I've heard aliases in the dollop, they've always been dynamite. They're always great. There's always one or two that are just amazing. Peter Fire hydrant. His count status helped him to get in places. He rubbed elbows with

celebrities, movie stars, Rudolph Valentino, Marion Davies, and Sophia Tucker, Sophie Tucker were all his friends. Once Victor and Roberta were attending a John Barrymore play and Victor went backstage afterwards to talk to him. Barrymore was removing his makeup and Victor picked up a beard that Barrymore had worn and he put it on. Barrymore then made Victor up giving him bushy eyebrows and sideburns. Victor wore the disguise to a party. Oh boy. No one recognized him. Oh boy. He walked past Roberta twice before she said, Vic, is that you? Yeah. And a light bulb that hadn't been invented yet went off. That's not happening, baby.

From that day forward, he often used disguises to elude the law. He dresses a Jewish rabbi, a priest, a clown, a bell-ha, a clown. A clown. Just a guy walking around as a clown. Hurry. That's not suspicious. No. Want to buy drugs? Whatever disguised to the occasion, he would use. He had 12 trunks, many filled with makeup and disguises. The trunks went wherever he went. Victor then came up with one of his most successful scams. It was a device called the Romanian Money Box. No, it's not Romanian. It's Romanian. Romanian? R-U-M-A-N-I-N. Okay. So it's not. Is it just the place that has rum? I don't know. Okay. He had a

craftsman. That's where Captain Morgan's from. I don't want to talk anymore. He had a craftsman make a few wooden boxes, two feet in length, nine inches wide, and a foot deep with a few dials on the front. Victor, he had a couple boxes. He had some boxes made. With dials on them. Yep. He got 50,000 and freshly minted a hundred dollar bills with serial numbers in sequential order. Boy, this is exciting. Then he scraped off the last four digits of each serial number and he put the same last number on each bill. So he had a bunch of identical serial numbers on bills. The hell was happening? He told Marx the story of a man who was supposed

to have been in on the plot assassination of Archduke Francis. He was then captured, taken to Berlin, and put in a lab and told to make a foolproof method of duplicating foreign currency. And this man came up with the box. Okay. So the bullshit is the story. Yep. Really? He just had boxes. He just had boxes with dials. Yep. And okay. And these are now counterfeiting machines. He would fiddle with the knobs while he told the people the story of the inventor and come up with a, he told them that the inventor had come up with a chemical method of duplication. After the war, the inventor had escaped and sought asylum with

Victor's father. And then after he died, Victor found the box and the chemical formula. So Victor would put... That is some heavy bullshit. Just so fucking stupid. That is grade A tasty bullshit. It's just like nine pounds of fucking garbage. That is great. So Victor would put a real bill into the top of the box and then he would put a blank piece of currency paper. Oh my god. And he would turn the crank. Here we go. Stand back now. It can be pretty powerful. And then a bill would come out. Uh-huh. And if he did again, the same bill would come out. Uh-huh. There is a catch. Wasn't that they were just boxes? No, it was very time-sensitive. Oh, that's right.

That is true. After you created a bill, you had to leave it alone for 18 hours before turning the crank again to get another bill. When he performed the demonstration, Victor used the identical clone notes that he doctored at home. Right? So the idea there being that you can't really, like you're not going to find out how shit it is for a couple, like for a little bit of time. Okay, right. Mark's always saw a bill being duplicated and then they would go to a bank together with him and cash it in. And of course it would be taken because it really was a bill. Right. And the 18 hour window gave Victor time to skip town after the

mark bought the box. Sometimes he would even load the machine with a few bills so that give him more time. Oh my god. But one time Mark saw Victor in Chicago and ran up to him. I've done something terrible, something terrible. What did you do as Victor? I didn't wait the 18 hours you told me. I waited to, I waited the 16 and then I cranked it. Why you fool, you've destroyed the machine, Victor said. You'll have to pay me $25,000 for another. No, no. And he did. Oh, no. Oh man, I waited 18 hours this time. Boy, I'm hoping he's not full of it. I bought two of these counterfeiting machines. Why did I just wait two more

hours? Can you, when he sees him, that confrontation? Victor, sir, sir, sir, I have something very important to talk to you about. What, what, what, what? I think I broke my counterfeiting machine. Oh, I used it too early. I can't, they're very expensive. I agree. I messed up royally. Boy, am I glad to run into you. I'm sorry I'm laughing. Oh, please, believe me. I've been through all the emotions. I know. I feel good. Here I was sitting there for weeks, months, pining for a new one. Thinking to myself I'd spoiled my only opportunity. Here I am. I mean, I don't have the money for this. But here I am now. I have another one. Oh, boy. You're great. You're great.

You're great. I mean, I'm sorry you did that, but you're a great guy. Thank you. Yeah, no, I just. We'll get you to the one. I'm sorry. Boy, I tell you. I'll tell you one thing. I am lucky. Yes, you are. Yeah. Holy shit. Well, unfortunately, I have to start working because Frank put a lot of money into fake boxes that he thought were counterfeiting machines. Why did he buy two? I didn't wait the 18 hours the con man told me to. Jesus Christ. Another took the box apart to see how to fix it and couldn't figure out how to put it back together again. I'm just thinking it's an empty box. He told Victor said it couldn't be repaired and sold him a new

one. Wow, I can't believe the amount of people that buy it so much they think they're broken. No, two owners of a pool hall in Montana paid him $43,000 for a money box. He sold one to two merchants in Chicago for $10,000. Another to a Kansas businessman for $25,000. A gambling syndicate in New York for $46,000. A banker in California paid $100,000. I mean, he's better not hear about these people who paid $10,000. Oh my God. God, he's good. Most of these people would not go to police because they would have to admit their involvement in counterfeiting. Especially the guy who bought two. No, I take this to the grave. Take the

wood from them and put me in it, build a coffin out of it. I'm not telling anyone about these things. Victor was only arrested once for the box scam when he was using the alias Charles Gruber in San Francisco. He wasn't convicted and probably bribed his way out because Victor always wore a suit with $15,000 sewn into it. Or he was just like, boy, officers, I understand. You know, it'd be nice if you guys had a counterfeiting machine for the station, don't you think? Yeah, just over there on the quarter. Well, wait a minute. Isn't that what you got the other guys for? Yeah, you want one? Oh, it's real. Let me show

you. Okay. Put up your hands. We did it. We used it at 17 hours. We were too anxious. Please put up your hands. We used it in 17 hours. Yeah, that's them going back and getting him. When he was arrested in Indiana in 1925 for finnally for swindling a real estate man for $10,000, he escaped most likely a bribe. His daughter, Betty, grew up used to this life as a child. It was a life of packing, running, hiding, using numerous names. Could you imagine his kid having to remember what name your name is? Yeah, especially when your nickname is Skeezix. Skeezix. She went to 37 different schools. Oh my god. Military

brat. No, my dad's a psycho. Yeah. She'd be dressed. You could call me the Duchess of Cheese. She'd be dressed in the middle of night to made to be run, to run. She just got used to it. Betty was taught from an early age never to talk about her father. If someone asked where he was, she was always to say, I don't know. He taught her Morse code. They would tap messages to each other on the palms of their hands. He would tap do not talk or go to your room of people around. And he was worried. One night, she was dressed in packed in the middle of the night. And when she woke up in the morning, she was on a train. When she

looked at the window, she saw the families made in a nurses outfit, pushing Victor in a wheelchair. His leg was in a cast. His arm in a sling. His head was down his chest with a felt hat pulled down his ears. He was then lifted on the train. At which point, he took off his disguise. Then he grabbed Betty and said, how's my little skeezing? I'm crazy, dad. I'm out of my fucking mind. Oh my god. Oh, I didn't realize we'd moved to the train and dad was pretending his leg was broken. Sorry. In one year, in one year, they were in New York, Chicago, Detroit, Kansas City, Montreal, Boston, Paris, Cherbourg, Berlin, Munich, Naples, Spain,

and Italy as Victor ran from the law. For some strange reason, Roberta couldn't hang with his life plus with his constant womanizing and she divorced him at the end of 1925. Well, to be fair, I mean, he wasn't cheating on her. His aliases were. Thank you. Yeah. It wasn't me. It was Count von Klesser. And by the way, he's got a really, he's got a wandering eye. That one. Shit. Can he fuck? Yeah. Oh, shit. Can that man fuck? Don't be mad at me. Be mad at King Chuck. You know what? Y'all have the passport over there. Come on. Your beef is not with me. It's with the rabbi. No, you cannot. You cannot talk to Van

Kessler. He's not here right now. Oh, I'm sorry that wrinkles. The clown is upset you, but he's not here. I'm not him. So she actually quickly remarried and Betty ended up being putting in a put in a boarding school near Pittsburgh. One day, Victor, now that she was in Kansas City, one day, Victor went to Kansas City to claim his visiting rights and see his daughter. But then instead of taking Betty out for ice cream and the merry-go-round, as he said, he took her to Europe, hired her, made it, put them

in a Paris hotel. Wow. Upgrade. Upgrade. In Paris, Victor met with a Chicago criminal named Dapper Dan Collins. Perfect. As they sat at a sidewalk cafe, Victor noticed a front page editorial about the increasing costs to repair the Eiffel Tower. The Parisian design community filed a petition against it, quote, passionate devotees of the untouched beauty of Paris protest with all our strength in the name of the threatened art and history of France against the erection right in the heart of our

capital of the useless and monstrous Eiffel Tower. So they actually didn't like it. Interesting. Yeah. Victor had an idea, though. He commissioned stationery with the official letterhead of the Ministry of Post and Telegraph. Oh boy. And then he invited six major scrap metal dealers to discuss a potential matter in his hotel room. This matter. No. This matter, he wrote, was too hush-hush to be discussed within the official office. When they gathered, Victor began his pitch in

perfect French. He told them the government was going to scrap the Eiffel Tower, but they couldn't do it immediately and the government was waiting on bids for the more than 700, more 7,000 tons of quality scrap iron of the Eiffel Tower. After Vic chose one of the men to be his mark, he met with him alone. Victor explained he wasn't paid enough by the government and the guy got the gist and a bribe was agreed upon. And then that guy bought the Eiffel Tower with a bribe tossed into

Buddha. Oh my god. I love that it wasn't enough just to sell the Eiffel Tower. He had to get the guy to give him a bribe to sell the Eiffel Tower. That is some real good scam. I mean that makes your counter-fitting box look like nothing. That's child's play. He just sold the dude the Eiffel Tower and made him feel like he was privileged. I'm lucky I got that thing. That was close. Shut up the next day. Okay. All right guys. Excuse me. Can we all get off of their place? This is mine now.

Take this down. I'm uh I've fallen into a little bit of uh a good situation one could say. Yeah. Uh yes you may see my receipt. Yes right here you'll see at the top. What do you mean he doesn't exist? Pardon? Boy the only way that I'm going to be able to get out of it is by one of those counter-fitting machines. This is awkward. Sir sir are you telling me I don't own the Eiffel Tower? You have any idea how crazy you sound? When I was done he and uh Victor and

Dapper Dan Collins got the hell out of town and went to Austria. They checked into a fancy hotel and waited for the story to hit the news. But two weeks later he did not hit the news. Victor realized that he had pulled off the perfect con. The mark was so ashamed that he remained silent. Wow. So he turned to Collins and said we're going to sell the Eiffel Tower again. No! And he sold it one more time. What the f- are you serious? How do you not root for this guy? If you can't it's fucking amazing.

He sold it again. Why would you not root? He's the best. I mean I've just got that letterhead burning a hole in my briefcase. One more run. And he came back to America by ship. He sent uh oh wait I think I jumped oh right. Victor returned to the states where he and Roberta were remarried and moved to Detroit so he got back together with Roberta. Okay. She could not she loved the action too. Yeah no I mean you like this guy that clue has a lot of charm. And exciting too. Yeah and sometimes I

fuck you like the count. Yeah and then you settle down with Dale the accountant and you're like you know I didn't mind being married to a priest rabbi clown combo. Right. On December 11, 1928 Victor lured a mark named Thomas Kearns into a scam requiring sixteen thousand dollars. But when they were at Kearns home Victor distracted him and just stole the money. Kearns immediately went to the cops and Victor fled to Europe. I don't like that one. I don't know why he did that. Sloppy.

Yeah maybe he needed the money fast but he. Sell him the son. Maybe he's getting worried it wasn't going to happen but he stole it. I don't like it. Sell him the son. Sell him the son. Thank you. Yeah. Have someone finally said it. Yeah at least his wife then would have something to talk about. Right. Do you like this guy? I own the son. Really? Oh that's not in the book. Hold on. So he was there in Europe for a bit when he came back by ship he sent a wire to the Secret Service and two agents came to his first class cabin. He explained to them the

misunderstanding he had had with Kearns and then he said he had information about counterfeiting. When they left the ship a police detective tried to arrest Victor but the Secret Service told them that he was now theirs. Victor then gave the Secret Service tons of information about people counterfeiting in Paris. Names, addresses, what they were up to, the whole thing. Victor was then released as a free man and went right back to his old ways. Wow. Just Kearns everybody. Yeah.

In July of 1929 he was in Paris when two French detectives quote seized a large number of forged documents including passports and a counterfeiting machine. You can tell it is a counterfeiting machine because it has all the dials. It makes a money. And like he says you can use it unless you have 18 hours in between. Uh yes. Uh wee wee. Excuse me? Yeah, wee wee. Okay. So we're talking English but Zava? Yeah, wee wee.

How don't? Victor told them he was a member of Al Capone's gang and this was all the loot he was going to dispose of in other countries not in France and they jailed him. That was he didn't work. That one didn't work out. Yeah. It was a bad scam. Right. I don't know what he was thinking. He probably wasn't thinking to me. He probably thought he was gonna be okay. I mean at that point you're trying to talk your way out of it. You just come up with some bullshit. Yeah and you're like no that didn't come out right. I'm having an off night.

So he was held in jail. Want to buy a submarine? Huh? Yeah. Wee wee. Hey. Uh Victor uh so he's put in jail and then returned to America to face charges of robbing Kearns and somehow he evaded prosecution again. In 1929 Victor met uh with he's just bribing people. It's mainly bribing? Yeah. Okay. With the with the law stuff? Yeah. In 1929 Victor met with William Watts a drug store clerk from Nebraska who was interested in making plates to counterfeit bills. They worked uh for a long time in an

apartment Victor rented on the Hudson River and ended up succeeding. They made two types of bills. Sloppy and rushed notes and very good notes. The worst ones were sold to low-end criminals and the others were for higher ups. Okay. They were considered to be the super notes of the era. A judge would later say Victor became quote like some other government issuing money in rivalry with the United States Treasury. It's hard to not like this guy. Dapper Dan Collins was the chief

distributor. He sold a hundred dollar bills for thirty dollars each. It is believed to up to fifty. That's a net loss though. Okay. Yeah. You don't do the math. I do the math. You do the selling. You know what I mean? But. Yep. Zip. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Fuck me. Nobody pulls one over on Dapper Dan. Okay. I think they do. Now. Yep. Hear me out. Hearing. We have hundred dollar bills. Right. If we need to make profit we got to sell them for one ten each. Okay. So how about I just shoot myself in the

face. No dude. No. You're not listening. I am listening and I would like to kill myself. We sell them for one hundred and thirty dollars. Then we're making profit. You see why they call me Dapper. I do. Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm thinking. Yes. You are not supposed to think. What does Dapper mean. Okay. I got to go. Okay. Here we look at the sky. Oh. Whoa. Really opens up on you. Done. It is believed that up to fifty percent of all fake currency at the time in America

was from Victor. Quite a percentage. And Victor continued with his scams across the U.S. traveling back and forth to Europe fighting extradition and sometimes deportation juggling a wife a child a high profile mistress hiding from a dozen detectives in multiple states and gambling. So he sounds a little stressful. He's busy. Sounds a little stressful. Sounds a little stressful. He likes to have everything in the air. He likes spinning plates. High profile mistress. Yep. H. P. M. He went to Latin America

to try to run some scams. And when he came back on February 27th 1931 he was arrested by Sheriff Q. R. Miller at the border. A local businessman had bought fifty thousand dollars worth of stocks from Victor that turned out to be toilet paper. Oh. Oh man. I mean. I can't believe they're selling rolls of stocks. They're good news. It's a new thing where there's stocks coming rolls. I'm telling you it's the whole it's what's happening now. Is that two ply stocks. Yes. Two ply stocks. Wow.

Yeah. You should get in on this one roll fifty K. Look at all these stocks. Yeah. No. I know. I feel like I'm kind of ripping you off. Okay. Yeah. Let's do it. Yeah. Yeah. Don't forget you can wipe your ass with those two. I'll catch you around buddy. Huh. Where'd he go. What a good guy. Jesus Christ. Victor ended up. I'm not an idiot. I figured out it was toilet paper. Victor ended up talking to the sheriff. It turned out the sheriff was thirty thousand dollars in debt. And he had taken money from the county.

Uh oh. So Victor sold him a money box. Oh Jesus Christ. For twenty five thousand dollars. Don't use it within eighteen hours though. And he walked free. Oh God. Geez. Terrible. When the sheriff realized he'd been duped he went to Chicago to find Victor and ended up holding him at gunpoint. Wow. Victor apologized. Victor sold him the Statue of Liberty. And he offered the sheriff fifty thousand dollars in cash. Okay. He gave the sheriff the money and crisp one hundred dollar bills. Uh oh. The sheriff was then arrested for

passing counterfeit bills. Oh Jesus. This guy's like boy I wish I never met Victor. Life was pretty good when I was just a cop. His income tax fraud was also exposed and then the sheriff was locked up in prison. Geez. The chief of the U.S. Treasury flew to interview the sheriff in jail. Victor jumped bail in so many countries that he couldn't go to large areas of the U.S. anymore. And is womanizing Cos Roberta to Roberta to leave again in 1931. She immediately married a man named Doug Conner.

In New York City agents from the Secret Service, the Treasury Department, officers from the New York Bomb Squad, I don't know why the New York Bomb Squad, hiring lawyers. He doesn't throw anything at them. And state troopers had a meeting to discuss Victor's counterfeiting. They had never seen bills this good. They were now after Victor as a special squad. The Secret Service had a tip that he was using a brothel as his headquarters. An agent hid in the building and typed up transcripts from the wiretaps. He sent copies to the

special squad and the squad in the Secret Service. One chief responded, quote, I'm not interested in the details of the prostitution business. In future reports, eliminate all material not having to do with the counterfeiting. Oh, there's got this one and she is busting out. Busting chief. I'm telling you, vah, vah, vah, boom. She's got legs that won't quit. I went up to her one day to talk and she smells like fresh raspberries. Okay, what about the bills? Uh, no bills there. Just Dames.

I met this other girl named Lucy. She's real sweet. You know, kind of one of those people that like is an injured dove. She's beautiful but she's got a broken wing and you want to fix it. You want to help her. I took her down to the field one day and she let me play with her hair. I forgot about everything. What about the bills? The place? Uh, yeah, yeah. I'm not gonna lie. I've been swamped with the whores. So, I forgot. That's fair. That's totally fair.

But I think if you go to page 98 of the report, you'll find some interesting stuff there. Okay. All right, thanks. So we're gonna take off this one. Good. I miss her. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You're fine. Okay. Published my report. Yep. It's going out. It's being published by the Penguin Books. Thank you. On May 10th, 1935, Victor was arrested. It was when I got pulled over one time and I thought it was because I was on my phone but it was because I ran a stop sign. Yeah. And then like when he pulled me over, I was so glad I didn't ask why.

Yeah. Or I was so glad that I wasn't like, you saw me on the phone, huh? Because he'd been like, what? But when he gets arrested, he must always just be like, why don't you tell me the crime? Uh, they let Victor know they wanted the plates to end the counterfeiting. It was implied that if Victor helped them, they would not be ungrateful. They were given a key to a locker at Times Square subway station. Inside the locker, agents found $50,000 in fake bills and 20 steel plates. But it was obvious these were not the plates cranking out the awesome bills.

So Victor offered to give those up if they let him go and they refused and suddenly Victor found himself in federal prison. Now he was there for three months and 22 days. And during that time, he tore bedsheets into strips, dipped them in water, and wove them together, making a rope. He then cut the mesh on his window and out he went. Wow. When people saw him climbing down, he pretended to be a window washer. Oh, wow. He then fell and dashed off, quote, like a deer. Wow.

To pretend you're washing windows. Oh, wait, no, it's not a convict. He's just washing the windows. In a convict outfit. That's fine. And rope. And he doesn't have the supplies to wash. He's washing with his hand. He's running. He's running. That was September 2, 1935. Victor moved regularly to evade detection, only going outside in disguise. The secret service was on his trail, once bursting into a seedy bedroom where they found his socks, bloody bandages, and a copy of American detective. Wow.

Victor had become a celebrity in true crime press where he was called the miracle man of crime. Wow. He had at least 32 arrests with no convictions over the years. That is crazy. The entire secret service looked for his counterfeiting house. During one interview, Victor said that William Watts, the plate engraver, needed morning sunlight to work. An agent Johnson remembered the exact words. He could look out the window at the Hudson River and watch the big ship dock. So they searched for that spot, ringing doorbells and talking to landlords. Other agents talked to chemical suppliers

and ink houses. Eventually, a lead pointed the agents to Watts' rooming house. After 26 days on the run, on September 28, 1935, Victor was spotted in Pittsburgh and chased in his car by the secret service. Agents rammed their car into his and locked their wheels together. The cars crash. Victor got out and said, quote, well, boys, here I am. Okay. The big reveal. Yeah. Back in New York, Victor wanted to know who had snitched on him. Turned out to be his mistress who was upset that he was cheating on her. The, I mean, amazing. I can't believe he's

seeing other women. The nerve. I thought he was a good fella besides me and his wife. Oh, and Victor had sold her $100,000 of fake stock. Wow. She was a well-known brothel owner and it cost her her business and her freedom. She was charged with tax fraud and got four years. Boy, he didn't give a fuck. Nope. At Victor's trial, it was revealed the two counterfeiters had put $2,340,000 of counterfeit money into circulation. Wow. Williams testified against Victor

and after listening to him for 15, Williams testified and after listening to him for 15 minutes, Victor said to his attorney, let's get it over with. All I wanted to see was whether the rat would really squeal on the stand. Victor then stood up and yelled, guilty. And he was of counterfeiting and a law created because of him. The Federal Escaped Act was written after Victor's escape. He was sentenced to 20 years in jail for counterfeiting and escaping and was sent to Alcatraz. I bet he was 13 years old.

Victor's fingerprints were sent to police departments all over the U.S. New victims came forward when his mug shot was on the front page of the New York America. Oh yeah, he sold me a time mission. He sold me all the houses? Yeah. Okay, if we're all being honest, I was convinced I was the president of the United States for a fortnight. Yeah. He told me that if I paid enough, I would run the country. Yeah. And you know, go ahead, we're all friends here.

Okay, he also sold me an iceberg. Yeah. Go ahead, that's fine. I mean, Johnny got sold. This is the Victor Lustig group session. I should point out my name's Tim. Okay. Hi, Tim. I've been two and a half months since I was last swindled by Victor. Yeah. So it's getting easier. Well, it is now, but he might come back around. I'm willing to buy whatever he has. That guy's a lock. No, no, Tim, no. Tim, no. I gotta tell you guys, I just bought a money box last night. Oh yeah, I bought

money boxes last night. Yeah, me too. I was lying about the two and a half months. My 17th one. We've all been there. Anybody who hasn't bought 17, put your hand up. You can see there's just two or three of us. Yeah, so anyways. Hey guys, I own the White House. We're not in it. No, I'm pretty sure I own it. All right, I'll make you an offer for it. I'd like to buy your White House and I'll sell you two of my time machines at a kind of fitting machine for it. Okay. Ah, suckers.

Talk about a meeting where everyone's like, suckers. Stupid. The amount of times people must have left Victor's presence being like, what an idiot. I know. All the fucking time. What a fucking moron. I really took that day. Jesus. New complaints flooding in from all over. He was now wanted in Bocain as C. Baxter in Detroit as Chas Gromar in Nebraska as Robert Lamar and in New York as Robert Duvall. Oh, whoa. I know. After seven years in jail, a guard found several pieces of torn blanket in

Victor's cell. Of course. I'm going again. Of course. Roberta tried to bribe the director of prisons with $70,000. Well, she's back. But was told it wasn't enough. Wait, is that the wife or the daughter? That's the wife. Okay, that's what I thought. She can't stay away. She can't. She fucking loves it too much. She loves the action. Yeah. They hate. All right. You're definitely getting a little too turned on for me. Excuse me. On the morning of number 29th, 1946, Victor woke with a massive

swelling on the left side of his forehead. He was transferred to the Medical Center for Federal Prisoners at Springfield, Missouri. On in March of 1947, Betty visited and tapped I Love You Daddy in Morse code in Victor's hand before he died on March 11th, after 11 years in prison. The family kept Victor's death a secret for over two years. His brother finally revealed it in court, thinking it would help him get a release. Clearly, his brother was not the smart. Yeah. Not the smart one of the, my brother's dead. So, you know, isn't it

like a rule that only one guy can die in prison? The only one brother, you know, like in World War II, when they wouldn't send all guys from the same town. So, what I'm thinking is, since my brother died in a jail that I, then I go. Guilty. For sure. Okay. Then, but then I get to leave. Yeah. Because my brother died in prison, right? No. No. Okay. So, I go? No. To jail. Yeah. No. I, my brother died, right? That's good to know. Where'd I go home? Okay. Uh, that's going to adjourn the court.

Hey, Emil. Are you hungry? Yeah. Hey, serve it back to me. I'm loving every bite, baby. Uh, of course it didn't. What did happen was money started coming to Roberta and Betty unsigned or from someone, quote, whom your husband helped. It would come from many cities and areas. One letter had a type message fastened to the top of a $500 bill. It read, my father would want me to send you this. Vic helped him out and never would accept repayment. Another letter unsigned contained $10,000. So, he had it set up that when he

died, people would send him money. He would just send him money. And so, they just started getting fucking cash from everywhere. Wow. As soon as the announcement was made that he was dead. What did he die from? Uh, some sort of. Just like a brain, like. I bet it was a tumor or. Yeah. Okay. A massive swelling on the left side of that forehead. I don't know. That's fucking weird. Yeah. Because it doesn't usually happen overnight. Well, it's probably had too many ideas. His head was about to pop. Oh, right. They won it out. Yeah.

One day while sick, Roberta called Betty to make her promise to bury her besides Victor when she died. The next morning, Roberta took an overdose of barbiturates and died. Happy ending. Oh, geez. Everybody's dead. Yeah. That's how I want to go though. They're all dead except for the barbiturates. You want to go on? It's terrible. You can really, that doesn't usually work out, by the way. It's very painful. You swayed me. You wake up and you're like, oh, my kidneys and liver don't work anymore. That's cool. Okay. Heroin? You tell me. Heroin's great. You tell me.

Heroin's something you should do for a while before you die from it. Okay. I'm glad we did this. Have you ever thought about a hammer? You selling hammers? Yeah. You're selling me the first hammer. By a counterfeiting machine, obviously. That dude's awesome. Yep. That's Victor. I mean, I know he probably heard a lot of lives negatively, but this podcast doesn't really deal with the consequence. That's not our job. We just live in the now. We're just time travelers. Crazy. Crazy little fox. Crazy. I love that. The disguise. The second he puts a

beard on, he's like, Eureka. I'm a clown now. I'm a clown. What was his clown, what did his clown outfit do for him? The clown one. I cannot understand it all. Yeah. Badass. Oh, yeah. Badass. All right. Okay. What do we do? We say goodbye, but before we say goodbye, we tell people that we sign cars. That's the worst. What is your deal lately?