The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 186 - The Past Times with Chloe Radcliffe

Episode Date: August 7, 2026

Dave Anthony reads a paper to co-host Gareth Reynolds and comedian Chloe Radcliffe SOURCESTOUR DATESOFFICIAL MERCHNutrafol - Use code: DollopRocketmoney See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to the past times. It's a podcast. Someone's finally doing it. You know we do here each week. We go through a newspaper from a random date in history picked out by none other than Dave Anthony. I, Gareth Reynolds, have never seen it. And neither has this week's guest. The great Chloe Radcliffe. Hello, Chloe. Hello. That's me. Welcome. That's good. I'm fine. How am I? I'm okay. Chloe, there's a drone above your head. I don't want to freak you out, but there is a drone right above you. I honestly, at this point, take me out. I have we this is basically what our Patreon is at this point is us coming to terms with the future we knew was going to happen. But just being like, we're ready to die. Like now.

Oh, I don't want to wait long. I don't want to live long enough to see Waymo's with guns. I agree completely. Yes, that's where I'm at. Yes. And I do feel like smoking cigarettes for me is back on the table. Oh my God, really? Yeah.

I think it's definitely back on the table. Well, that's the thing. I have sort of... And I'm going to do menthols. What? Wow. Don't those cut up your lungs worse? That's what I'm saying.

Let's go. Yeah. Fuck it. Well, to me, it's that I have stopped preparing for the future because I assume that there will be no future. Like, when people are like, think about your health in your 60s and 70s, I'm like, I don't, whatever, if I'm alive in my 60s and 70s, I am going to be fighting a dog for Hewel.

I'm not going to be. living a version of the life that we understand it. Also, money-wise, this whole, like, how much money you need for, that's gone. We're talking 10, you need money for 10 years now. That's it. You just need a 10-year survival plan. This, like, 30, when I'm going to be 85, where will I? You're not going to be 85.

You're going to be holding a knife. You're not going to be 85. You're going to be jerky in the next 12 years. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's coming. through the next 10. Anyway,

speaking of which, Chloe, you have a show you're doing in New York that we're all very excited about. And it's within the next month, so we're all going to be alive for it. That's right. Plow month to month.

And I think it's important to find escapes, and your show could be one. Now, you're performing your show in New York City, I'm reading right here off of the clipboard. New York City. The Big Apple, is that the 18th and 19th?

19th and 20th. August 19th and 20th at 7 p.m. at Joe's pub. It is my solo show called Cheat about how I have a history of cheating in all of my relationships. You're the cheetah.

Are there rumors about me? Are people talking about me? Oh, people are talking, Chloe. People are talking, no. I want to be clear. I want to be clear. The show does not condone cheating. I think cheating is always bad.

I think cheating always hurt somebody. I just happen to be the only person who's willing to admit that I have done it. That's fair. Listen, it's a hug. There's a lot of people that cheat. Yeah. Oh, God.

I mean, Dave is an absolute gig. Serial cheater. Yeah, I'm the cheater. What about Dave? I can't stop. But you are currently in a relationship, correct? I'm currently in a relationship. I'm very happy.

What is that? That person must find that strange. What is it? He saw the show before we started dating. Oh. So he met you when you were a stripper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was like, I think she loves.

me. They do. And I was like, keep buying me dinner. Where can people get tickets? They can get tickets on Chloe Radcliffe.com. It's, yeah, it's going to be a Joe's Pub. It's this beautiful, beautiful, like, cabaret space that is attached to the public theater, which is this legendary theater in New York.

Oh, yeah. That's great. And I have, I've been developing the show by myself for a while, and I now have, a Broadway director on it, a guy named Oliver Butler, who did a show called What the Constitution means to me, which is an amazing show. I was reading, though, that you actually are, while you have your director locked in, you were also looking for other directors, that you were sort of seeing a couple other people to creatively help you with the show. I would really prefer if we could talk about that more privately.

Like, I'm not trying to blow up. I'm not trying to blow up my own spot here. No, no, no. So sorry. So sorry. But, I mean, I'm always, I'm always open to talking to other directors. You know, it can hurt to. Like you said, let's maybe do.

this off. Get her to chat. Yeah, let's do this off because I do feel like we're opening. Did you know that before COVID hit, I was working on a show for Australia called Dooms Dave? I didn't know that. And if I just got a year, one year before that, it would have been perfect timing.

Yeah, well, now you're just going to die like the rest of us, you idiot. Now, Chloe, I don't know if you've listened to this show and this is definitely the point right now where you would say, I have, I love it and you have it, so we'll keep going. But what we're going to do here is we're going to... It's my favorite. We're going to far too late. Good Lord.

We're going to go through a newspaper. And it's more exciting than it sounds. We're going to go through a newspaper from some random date. Just as a warm-up swing, you're going to try to guess what you're this paper is from with no context. I will do the same. Love it. Dave has some weird attitude with me, even though I do love his pants. Are those quints?

Oh, yes. I'm loving the pants. I do not like the man. man in the pants, but I love the pants. He's going to say that you win no matter what. It's a whole fucking thing. Then we'll get into the show. Okay.

God, you're such a baby. So, Chloe, a guess of a year could be 1700s. You're like the Argentina of podcast games. That's coming out later. That's right. Aggressive never gets punished. Gets away with dirty, dirty play. Yes.

And everybody loves me. No, everybody hates you. Yes. Most of the entire world is united against you. wrong. I'm the challenge. Argentina's like a Trump or a team. Literally you are the villain. We did great. Chloe, could be 1800s. Could be 1900s. Could be 1900s. Just take a guess of a random year carnival style.

Wait, I don't get any information? No. I don't get any hints. How dare you want information? Just pick a year. 172. Interesting. 1904. Oh, Chloe wins. It's November 6th, 1904. What the fuck? What the actual fuck? I got it right.

I got the year right. You didn't hit the month. Yeah, that means that Price's right rules, I win. I take prices right rules. I get both showcases. No, you don't because you didn't say November 6th. Whatever.

Let's just get into this fucking thing. Remember, remember the 6th of November when Garrett lost the bet. That's the same. No, that's it. That's why she wins. Chloe's the best Yeah, really

I'm going to get your capri pants bloodied I'm sort of the Spain of this podcast saves the America A horrible thing to say It's the St. Paul Globe St. Paul, Minnesota It's a Sunday Is that where you're from?

Minnesota I'm from Minnesota You are from Minnesota You are from Minnesota I help That was where we met You helped You help what?

That was where we meant. I never lived in St. Paul, but my ex owned a house in St. Paul, and I functionally sold his house for him so that he could move to New York with me. It's August 19th and 20th. You got to go see it. I mean, listen to the ingredients. You helped himself his house, so he lived in New York, and then he cheated on. So that he could. He wanted to move to New York when I was moving to New York.

I, in retrospect, never wanted him to move to me. In retrospect, didn't really want to be in the relationship. How did you have that manifest itself? a panic attack. So crazy that rather than just tell someone how you feel, you're like, to New York we go. To New York we go. This is exactly what I would have done. Well, and that's a thing.

So then he was like, I guess I'm going to sell my house. And I had said, can you give me six months alone in New York to like get my feet on the ground? And he told his job like 10 months out. And he missed out on a promotion because he told the job. And I was like, do not tell your job until two weeks before you move. This is stupid. Don't tell your job. And I don't know if you really want to sell your house right now, but it was the top of the market.

And people have been like, well, did you feel? And then once I got to New York about a month or two and I broke up with him. And people have said, do you feel bad? Because he sold a thousand quit his job. And I It's like an unfortunate Series of events But I told him not to tell the job

And he made 80 grand On the sale of that house From when he got it And I go I didn't see a penny of that And that's fine $80,000 to have your heart Broken on the table right now

I take that money Yeah take the money 100% I'd be like yeah great Can we call Chloe a home wrecker Because that's kind of home wrecking She's a home builder It's kind of a home agent

It's okay. I can count builder, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I painted every fucking room in that fucking house. Artbreak real estate.

That's called pre-guilty is what that is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew I knew that I knew I was going to leave this, man. I might as well leave him. I'm leaving him in better condition than I found him. That's way better. There you go.

He's a foster man. You break up a little. You got money. You got cash. He's like a do-do video. Yeah. All right. All right.

Lives in family tomb and saves rent. Is this the guy you were talking about? This is where her X one, yeah. Lives in a tomb to save rent? He doesn't have house anymore. We're going to get back there. We're totally going back to this. This is a headline.

This is probably already happening from now. This is out of Massachusetts. Residents of this quiet little town is startled by smoke pouring through the ground from the top of the tomb in the old cemetery, found Pennyman Damon. Is Pennyman Damon? Is that his name or is Pennyman a title back then?

Most people had Boxer's names in the early 1900, so I think that would be what he is. But they discovered him by smoke coming out of a tube. Yeah, he was cooking. There's no way that this man survived. In 1904, if you see smoke coming out of a tube, tomb, you kill what's ever inside of it. Also, he was living, I was picturing like a mausoleum where it's like at least like a little

house. Like a home. But this sounds, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, not a house, but a home in the graveyard. That's what it says in the mausoleum. Yeah. Not just a mausoleum. But this boring out of the ground feels like he was just in a grave. Yeah, he's either cooking or being cooked in a grave.

And I like to think that he's like, I'm going to make some mac and cheese. Let me tell you something. And do you think the smoke? No, that's here. Have you ever had smoked pig out of a grave? I've never had pig grave grave. Oh, it's so good. It just falls off the bone.

Grave pig? No. And it all gets mixed in. Ew. A little, a little bone dust on top for some extra, for some added minerals. Oh, it's got a little granny in there. Mm. Ooh.

Do you think a little long pig with your short pig? Correct. Yes. Long pink. That's right. Do you think the, that's a saying. That's a term. 100%.

No doubt. It wasn't. It is now. Everybody's saying it. Do you think the smoke was from the fire that he was tending or from the passageway to hell that he had opened? Oh my God. Yeah. What if you opened some kind of hell mouth?

Well, that's for the people of Massachusetts to figure. I really think this guy's cooking. I really do. Yeah, I think he's cooking. I choose to believe, especially in Massachusetts. Or heating. Yeah, right, or heating Or lighting a little fire for himself

I mean, again, this is very relatable. I feel like we will get back to this where people are like, hey, that grave's got a pillow. Tunes are cold. Yeah, so yeah, exactly. Yeah, tombs are cold. Nobody thinks of a tomb is like, oh, I'm going to go in there and get warm. No, this is purely for sleeping purposes.

So what? A pennyman is an old regional term from Northern England for a worker who assisted urban butcher's with slaughtering, with slaughtering and dressing animals. He's definitely cooking. So he comes back, he comes from work covered in blood and gets into a tomb and starts cooking. This is, by the way, RFK's daily agenda.

This is an FK's dream right here. Yeah. Oh, perfect. Look, I wish, I wish that we could draw this family lineage to the Kennedys, but I would like to point out that this man lives in Massachusetts and has the last name of Damon. Yeah. Oh.

I think this is one of Matt Damon's ancestors. You like apples? How do you like apples? How do you like animals? I'm so excited to say it. Are you like that animals? I've got some apples for you. What do you like to see my apples?

That's what you hear coming from the tomb, but smoke pours out of the ground. I don't know what's going out of there. There's a lot of apple stuff. They found Pettyman Damon, Damon, seated beside a small fire in the center of the receptacle for the dead. Okay, so he's heating himself. What is he in, though? He's in a tomb? He's in a tomb?

Funny to call a tomb a receptacle for the dead. Yeah. Ficturing like a recycle shoot. Yeah. Citizens remonstrated with him only to be politely told to mind their own business. By him? Yeah. Mind your business.

Get your own to him. You like apples? I would think Affleck. This would be Affleck. The duck? I don't think this is an insurance stuff. I think instead of Damon, I would think it would be an Affleck. But why doesn't Ben Affleck just say his name like the Affleck duck?

That's the real question. Ben Affleck. Come on. It's right there. I know it's not good comedy. It's not. But it is a joke. It's a hard joke.

I think that's great. This is the burden of being a comedian. that if you grab the low-hanging fruit, everybody calls you a hack, but if you miss the low-hanging fruit, then everybody's like, how did you miss that? It was right there.

I would say my social media is a combination of those two. There's a lot of people. Because social media is mostly just people going, how did you not see that? Oh, you hear you. Hamilton? Ham sandwichelton. You're like, good, good stuff.

And that's what you get for catering to nerds. Yeah. If I... A tomb. if I had not if I had made myself unlikable at any point earlier in this podcast

now I have really sealed the deal the idea that any of your listeners are ever going to buy a ticket to my show they're like this cheating whore who broke her ex's heart and made him sell his house I'm sorry this cheating this cheating floozy

broke her ex his heart and now is insulting every listener of this podcast by calling them nerds Chloe Recliffe.com nerds Hey I'm not going to I'm gonna fuck you, but buy tickets to my fucking show. Come watch me talk about how I fucked everyone but the person I was with.

I promise, the show is actually more mean to myself than you could ever be. That's, see, you worked it in. That's good. It's good. Makes funny of good work. Well done. All right. So was this guy killed?

Damon said the tomb belonged to his family. It's mine. Well, yeah, then it's. Fucking Nepotum. And he had a right to it. Sing has how, this quote, saying as how their this is not supposed

oh it's going into how he talks seeing as how their rest are my kin's dead and laid away so the pitches every my family this is my family's tomb they're all gone

they're dead in here with me allow me to turn it into a hang pad yeah allow me to have a family reunion yeah exactly allow me to hang out with some of my people it's his property essentially don't you want to go home to your moms

Ah, it's the best. No. I do. No. Absolutely. No. But my plan is to keep everyone in my family who I currently love alive for as long as possible, even by stuffing. Go ahead.

Sometimes I'll just put my, when I talk to my mom, I'll put it on speakers so my son can listen. He's just like, what the fuck? You're back guy. Like, yeah, man, it's weird. Dave's dad passed away. Go ahead. Oh, it's, and what do you do when you talk to your dad? Well, he's in the grave, thank God.

my show would be my one man show would be going thank fucking God that asshole is dead his dad was awesome his dad you've never seen a guy

throw a tighter spiral than Dave's dad I mean this guy he was fucking awesome because he practiced with bottles yeah come on he insisted

that it was warm comfortable and large enough and he saved paying rent he is credited with being wealthy now I am now picturing a mausoleum

yeah it's got to be big Yeah, it's got to have a cooking area. It's a room. Yeah, yeah. It does not have a cooking area. It does. It does not have a separate cooking area.

There's a hot plate. It's just one big space. Have a toilet. You can have a fire. One of those saunas that I keep getting targeted. There's no sauna in a tomb, although we should make that happen. Yeah. Shouldn't every tomb have a bathroom?

A bath tomb? Stick around. That's the thing. Our fans are coming to your show now, Chloe. That's, uh, that's the word. Yeah, I mean, look, she, look, she did a show about her lack of morals at certain times, but bath to them. Do you know that pun? Come on.

How many? How many what? How many times have cheated? No, come on. I don't know. That's not a great answer either. Not a good question, not a great answer. I'm not going to lie to either.

No, I don't know. I don't know. That's all right. All right. You're young. It's over. I haven't a long time. She cheated on me.

Huh? Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And I don't remember. I don't remember either. Dave sold his house.

After this episode, Dave sells his house. I need to be closer to Chloe. I have to go to New York. I've gone to New York. The best pattern would be if she ever got ever got to sell their house and then she'd be the best pattern. That is like, people are like, there's no. no good comedies left, but if it is just like heartbreak real estate. She gets them to sell the house.

Or it's a dayline. I'll make you money. Yeah. Yeah. Another guy sold his house. Another man made enough money to pay off his student loans. Had I known, I probably would have gotten promoted. That is dumb to tell someone you're, why would you ever tell your job in leaving six months?

That was a crazy move. That was a crazy. That was a real. That was a, yeah. I told them not to. 10 months in advance. Yeah. Yeah, I told them not to.

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Yeah. Drunken Cripple draws life sentence. Fuck. This is precarious. Like for comedy. It's going to be good. Sentence to Minneapolis for an indefinite sentence to Minneapolis. That's tough.

It's not a great place. You got to live in Minneapolis. In the winter. One of the better cities, I would say. We love Minneapolis. An incredible city, but 10 miles away from St. Paul. Yeah. Yeah.

A drunken, presumably not able man has to make it from St. Paul to Minneapolis. That's not good. I'm going to say, that man is dying on the way. Oh, yeah. Well, it depends. November, too. I mean, this is not the summer. You know, if you had known that date ahead of time,

you might have won, but. I think I won. I got the year on the fucking nose. This guy just has an attitude problem because he hates his dad, and his dad was my best friend. He killed my dad. He never seen a tighter spiral. He killed my father.

His dad. Have you seen throw mama from the train? We set up this thing where I would kill his mom. He would kill my dad. He killed my dad. And then he was like, don't kill my mom. I don't know if the throw mama from the train reference is going to go over great. I'm not going to lie.

It sounds like a headline from 1904. I mean, I always forget how See, there was a time when Billy Crystal was a big star, but the rest of the world has been like, no, what did you guys do? And so all his movies, people are like, no, we didn't see that. We're not going to see that. I really want to read the art of car.

Throw Mama from the train. Oh, and you stupid poop. Is that old lady, was in like five movies? I've never heard of Throw Mama from the train. I'm going to tell you that right now. Oh, man, that woman. We get it. Look, I'm, I'm sorry.

74, so. Sentence to Minneapolis for an indefinite term was the fate imposed by Judge of Finehout yesterday in the municipal court upon James Blonde. Blonde is a cripple having had both legs amputated above the knees. Yeah, we get it, dude. That's, uh, also, somehow I don't, I don't think of a double amputee as counting, look, the word cripple is not good. It's not a, It's not a great look these days. No. But I don't think of that as applying to somebody who probably, like, served in a war and then was a double amputee. Yeah.

It seems like saw. It's like there's, yeah, it's not like a limp. Right. It's like this person has no legs. And they're like, this simple cripple. It's not like a kid that we want to make fun of at school. Right, right. But people, the limp, we like to mock like you're saying, Chloe.

Exactly. That's fine. August 1920. defect. Clayraycliffe.com. Claywrightcliffe.com. Cloywrightcliffe.com. Oh, boy.

I promise I'm not a mean person. Everything that I'm saying today feels like I'm just a meanest person. You do it well, though. You're all right. You're fine. It's not bad. You're smiling. For anyone listening, she's enjoying herself all she's doing.

You're going to be great as a rogue and regular. Trust me. Blot is a. cripple having had both legs amputated above the knees. Yeah, we remember. Yet he managed to shuffle about on his stumps. Oh, fuck. Loyal.

That's a lot worse. So let me, that's. Okay, that has to hurt a lot, right? I don't even know if it does. No, it's not like a fresh wound. Because, yeah, but like how much. You're saying hurting your hips? No, I think, I think all of it, but I think the, I think your bones are probably hitting the ground.

Look, I think in 1904, you're probably right. the procedure was not very thoughtful. Yeah, they just literally sawed it. Yeah, they're like, there you go. Yeah. Start a new life. Here's a wheel. Could you have, could you at least left a little skin to flap over?

Take care. You think he's also on his knuckles? Yeah. I'm going on my knuckles, if that's me. I'm knuckling it. That's the easiest way to go. Put your hands down. I don't think, I think I'm knuckling.

I think you had wheelchairs in 19. Yeah, I think they had those. I think what it really speaks to is how lucky we are to have the blade legs. The blade legs was where they went from being like, by the way, now people who have been double amputated are faster than you. How about that, motherfucker? And can kill you. And then Pistorius went like, he just made the whole thing.

It was like, finally, we got a hero and then he fucking shot his wife through a bathroom door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that was the guy. Yeah. Do you think... Go ahead. I'm written... Give it a shot.

We'll cut it out if we have to. Go ahead. I think we'll let the editor decide. I think we have to cut that. I think please cut that. I think, I think, editor, please cut that. Cut that, Preston. I'm glad you went there, though.

We're finally allowed. All right. And we're back. Trump's America. Yeah, I don't know. I would imagine there were the first. The wheelchair was invented in AD 525. Yeah.

Well, but come on. That was stone wheels. But the self-propelled was 1655. So, yeah. But then the really lightweight one didn't come around until like 1930. Until like 1902, 1903. So he probably. Four, you can say it.

It's not, you don't have to steer clear of 1904 just because I guess the fucking is right. I bet it was very, I bet it was very expensive. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yes. So a lot of guys would just...

And this guy had a lot of money, but he spent it on booze. Yeah, because he's a partier. There's nothing wrong with that. Oh, my money on boots. But when he was found... But when he was found on Jackson Street Friday night, he was quite unable to remain upright. He was thoroughly drug as a policeman testified. It's honest to God.

I'm not fucking kidding. One time I was in Minneapolis. And there was... You know the little scooter... If you hurt one leg and you got the little scooter thing now instead of the crutch, there was a guy at the bar in Minnesota in Minneapolis who had the scooter thing. And he got so drunk that he couldn't operate his leggy scooter. It was one of the craziest things I've ever done.

And I was like, I was watching him like, this guy can't. He's going to get an SWI. Yeah, he was. He was scooting while intoxicated. Yeah. And everyone was like, Jesus Christ. I was like, oh, this guy, really, this is terrible. What do you do?

Take it off? I have video of it. It is posted on my Instagram, watching the guy. You got to put him into an Uber, right? You can't. I get, but even then he's got to get home. Uber doesn't do Kerry. There's Uber carry.

I wish there was. Yeah, well, you're right. I'm trying to picture him drunkenly scooting. Yeah, so am I. And I guess it's that you think you can lean on the scoot. And you can't. Yeah, you're right. It was bad.

And you either tip over or you're just not moving forward. Yeah. He was falling over. Sideways? Sideways. Sideways falling over. Yeah. So you're right.

And like three people, a bigger guy, three people being like, come on, Tommy. Get it together. I wonder if Tommy was like this a lot. Was what? I wonder if this was Tommy's thing. If he just would get really ripped and not be able to sleep. Probably how he hurt his leg, to be honest with you. I didn't get to talk.

talk to him as much as I wish I had. You think if they carry him on their shoulders, then somebody else gets to scoot? Yeah. Yeah, someone has to. Someone has to scoot at home. By the way, yeah. It's all upside for the guy. He looks like he won the Super Bowl.

He just got too drunk to use his scooter. I think it's not all upside for the guy because he's on a scooter. Elitist West Coast talk. I can't believe. I get it. We get it. But you know why we get it? It's because it turns out we're both.

a little mean. You took a video of this man and posted it publicly. That's right. It's right. Don't think that you can drag me down. I'm just, I just want to say this for the listeners, for any listeners who are like, this lady is a, is a, is a, has it blackness in her soul. This one of your favorite, one of your best friends who you listen to every single week also has blackness in his soul. And so we, I am, I am no worse than. Don't you tell these nerds that. Don't you talk to these nerds like that. Listen to that He's being mean to you Stop it

Chloe you just came in You're on fire so you just grab me Yeah yeah yeah yeah This is a drowning never trust a drowning man She's an unobjective observer There's a scooter floating next to the drowning man That's bad I just film it

That's awesome content The court offered to impose no punishment For drunkenness If blonde would go immediately to Minneapolis Wow Wow. Wow. Just go to a different city. Yeah.

Just go be drunk somewhere else. That is the same. I mean, that's the equivalent of a bar just kicking you out. Yeah, right, except a city being like, you go there. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay in St. Paul. Exactly. Exactly. The cripple answered,

All right, Judge. Then he added gloomily, and I'll stay there too. The judge is like, yeah. No, that's the whole idea. The character voices and dialogue that feature in these. newspaper articles. I know. The fact that the journalists are writing in like colloquialisms so that you really get the sense

of this person's voice. Should we tell her? Tell her what? So at one point, I thought that maybe they had a key on a typewriter back then with two E's because when they would do Chinese people. Oh, come on. She doesn't need to know this. Let her live her life.

They would phonetically put it out. So like Chinese guy, like they would. Dave eventually realized that it wasn't. Add ease on? Yeah. Like. Wait, but where did they add ease? What?

Like they're like, do the voice. No. Nice try. Nice try. That's a trap-down stepped in twice. There won't be a third. Nice try. Right into the micromb, right into the big, big microphone.

By the way, a special title, do the voice would be fun. Look, I'm not via one. I do want to do want to do a bit about how racist took doing accents from us. About how do it's such a bummer because doing a voice that doesn't sound like your own is one of the most like pure sources of joy in the world. Yeah. There's no way to divorce it from racism. And that's so unfortunate. That's why I'll white.

I'll do white, any accent white, but we have come across people who have told us to stop doing it. I won't. Really? Yeah. I'm mad about his Irish accent. It's encroaching. 20 years when Earth doesn't exist anymore, I'll be canceled. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They'll look back and you'll say, you'll say, it was a different time. Yeah. I'm sorry that I was trying to do RFK. Yeah, right. That was RFK phobic. Yeah. We see him now. Yes, we accept him.

Sense Conspiracy in Butter Contest. This is some Minneapolis. stuff. This is the good. Secretary W.W. Hall of the State Dollary and Food Commission yesterday expressed himself as dissatisfied with the manner in which the awards had been

made in the National Buttermakers Contest. Sometimes the headline makes you really miss the past and you're like this is nice. Does it make you miss Dairy Country, Gareth? I do miss Dairy

Country. We did a dollup about the Margarine wars, and I was like, boy, these people lost their fucking minds with butter and margarine. But simple stuff like this, like where it's like, who will get the blue ribbon for the tastiest butter? I do miss that. What about you? It takes me back. Oh, I miss Derry Country every day. Have you ever seen, have you, Dave, I don't know where you're from.

Where'd you grow up? Northern California. Okay. This doesn't apply to you. Gareth, do you know that at the Minnesota State Fair, the top 12th? Great State Fair. one of the best day fairs, arguably the best day of fair. There's a pageant for girls who either grew up on a dairy farm or worked on a dairy farm.

It's called Princess K of the Milky Way and the top 12 finalists in Princess K of the Milky Way get their heads carved in butter at the Minnesota State Fair. The top 12? Top 12. And one of my friends made it to the top 12 and we went to watch and they sit in this giant rotating. glassed in refrigerated room and the and there's a butter carver and there's the princess k finalist and both of them are sitting in snowmobile suits with only their heads exposed and the butter carver is carving her face with a little crown in a giant block of butter and then you get the butter to take home at the end of the fair what the fuck that that i'm not kidding and i'm i'm not

being hyperbalt that might be the best thing i've ever heard it's the sweetest it's minnesota is the greatest state in the union. I will stay. It is a great state. Have you heard of Oklahoma? No, it is a great state, but we really, shout out to Nick Shirley friend of show. We really, we love what you're doing. You're uncovering a lot of bad stuff.

We're going to make Minnesota better. Thank you, Nick Shirley. You can buy math at a Circle K in Oklahoma. Okay. Let's get back to the, it feels like you're, yeah. Just saying. Everyone's got their positive. Is there, is there, can the men enter anything? Can I

Prince The contestants? Yeah. Is there any way to get my head in butter? It's a possible. I'm sure you can pay someone. You just stick your head in a big vat. Okay.

Thank you so much, Chloe. I'm sure you can pay someone to make your head. Drown you in butter. Okay. Now what's going on now? Now that feels weaponized. That feels very specific. Imagine. That's how I want to go.

It's a fun death. It's a fun death in an action movie. And an action movie is set in the, in the, the nefarious world of the butter industry? I've got a title, Butter off dead. Whoa. Come on.

Let's go. Let's party. Who's in? Butter late than never? Very good. Very good too. Also very good. It's using butter again.

I just, I did basically the same pun, but with a different sentence. It works. It's not bad. Does that count? Dave definitely liked yours more than mine, which is just shows the bias that we're

dealing with here. I thought it was better. Okay. Go ahead. Get back to the water. Okay. This is in St. Louis recently, which resulted in awarding the championship banner to New York. Minnesota had 158 entries, he said, whereas New York only had 11 of the Minnesota entries. 34 average 95 and better, and the total average was 92. Yeah, 92. No way, 9290. the New York average for 11 I trees was 93.45 resulting in that state's carrying the

championship banner. They're just ratings? Yeah, the ratings. Out of 100. The butter rating. Yeah, the how what's your scale? I don't know. Chloe's fact was so awesome that it has thrown me off the rest of the article. I'm going to be honest. You'll get your fucking butterhead in the game. Yeah, all right. Thank you, sir. Thank you.

Minnesota received the championship cup. A margarine. Minnesota received the championship cup for the highest individual average, 95.8, made by H.C. Hansen during the six months test. Six months. That's crazy. The gold medal was won by... Well, you got to spread it out. Chloe, I'm going to not ask you to leave. I'm going to ask you to replace me. Please. This is rare. Begging. Shut up. The gold medal was won by L.S. Taylor of Glenville on the highest individual score, 98.8.8.

five with this showing Minnesota should have been awarded the ban. Oh, he's complaining. I do not mean to say that the rewarding awarding was not rightly made according to the regulations, but it sent strongly of a conspiracy. So he's saying that there weren't enough New York entries. They shouldn't win, basically. Again, I'm not. New York went. So Minnesota went with. quantity and New York went with quality and this guy's mad at it. It seems like Minnesota has a lot more to offer. Yes.

And has on across the board, I don't know, it's not on average because those were the averages, but some other math term. So what you should do is if New York has 11 entries, then you should take the top 11 Minnesota entries. Yes. Yes. Yes. I've solved it.

Well, look, if we ever. do get access to time travel. Yeah. I know where we're going. Right here. We're going back to kill the New York butter entries. We're going to go back a couple months before this. We're going to live in a Kennedy tomb.

Mm-hmm. Or sorry, a Damon tomb. A Kennedy tomb is full of dead animals. My supper. And their dead family members. My supper. How long until RFK eats JFK? That's the question.

It already happened. Okay. Do you guys think that JFK was killed by the CIA? I'll jump out. Yeah, pretty much. Great. Awesome. Yeah.

Moving on. You? I would say he was definitely not killed by the narrative that we all are told. It was definitely something else. But I don't know if it was the mob or CIA, but he was definitely killed by somebody else. I think there was a second head. How about that? What?

That. I don't know. That would be a bad. I'm just trying to get on Rogan. That would be the best conspiracy to start that there was a second head. There's a second head in the car. They weren't even in Dallas. My son was like, he was like, what?

He goes, for the Charlie Kirk thing. And then I read about it. And it's a bullet theory they haven't had since JFK was shot. A magical one. And then I read him what happened with the JFK bullet. He was just like. But I do believe. But I'm not trying to be controversial.

Any bullet that went into Charlie Kirk was magic. After. After. It came out full of Jesus. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't burrow that deep into Charlie Kirk's neck without touching something beyond. Just, yeah.

Chloe. That's where they keep the. Where do you think he speaks from? His vocal cords, it's right there. His vocal cords are. I'm going to fucking. I'm going to get choked up like my man did that day. Yeah.

Communing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, your man did get choked up. Yeah, we got choked up. That's the first time he got choked up. You remember when you couldn't joke about it and now, and now you can choke about it.

We'll be right back, but thank you for that. 1904. He's still with us. He's still with us, just paved over. Children in court. Yeah, finally. More of this. Several boys were arraigned in the municipal court yesterday before Judge Feinthout,

acting as judge of the children's court. Oh, what a show. Mike Costello, aged nine years. Yeah, what's up? Was accused of petite larceny. The whole system's out of fucking order. Haven't stolen, it was said, a copy of a newspaper. Oh, fuck off.

Yeah, he stole newspapers. Yeah, whatever. I was just trying to get informed. He's fucking nine. That's awesome. He was, no, I bet he was going to go resell that newspaper on the corner and make, make money off of stolen goods. Fine. If you will stand for crime in children, we must nip this in the...

Quiet lady! Quiet lady! Whatever! Let him sell his papers. Yeah. Yesterday's paper. I'm just going to say it's for today. That's a real Gareth strategy.

And then he claims that he's gotten it right, but he hasn't. I did get it right. All right. That's it. There will be no more talk about how... You shut up. She nailed you. Shut up.

Nailed you. Everyone shut up. For the record, I think that a kid should be able to steal a newspaper and it's fine. It's not a big deal. Yes. Honestly, this is what's very strange. In the time that we've been doing these shows, I do now go, I would rather live in these times. Even with all the issues, whatever it is, the fact that they're like kids are getting brought up on charges of stealing newspaper.

Give me that any day over your Hormuzas, okay? All right. Was that, was that a mispronunciation of the straight of Hormuz? Yeah. Okay, great. Yeah. I, when you said Hormuzas, I truly was like, this is a new astrology thing. Hormuzes.

Hormuzes. Hormuzes. I heard Hormuzes. And I was like, what fucking Brooklyn witch? Ah, yes, yes, yes. And really, it's just your Hormusings. Is that not a good old title for your show? I'm on a show.

We both heard it at the same time You just watched my brain Like trying to get there And you got there first That's like the three Stooges just trying to walk into the room At the same time One of them pops out barely first

Incredible Wow That's really, you really win this No no, come on It's really good I want a headmate of butter. Whoever gets the headmate of butter wins. Mike Costel, age nine years, was accused of petite larceny having stolen.

Very cute. A copy of a newspaper. He was placed in charge of probation officer graves who will rearrange Mike's literary course. What? What the fuck? What just happened? I don't understand the punishment. They're going to make him read some shit.

By the way, if I was a nine-year-old in court, I'd be like, no, I didn't know. Anything else! I plead guilty! I plead guilty! Oh, please, anything else? Give me labor! When Howard Jordan aged 11 and three other boys

were charged with taking a hammer, a boxing glove, and other weapons from a house on Rini Street, the three companions, being more mature than Howard, trowed it all on de littlest kid, as he complained. Trout it all on the widowed his kid.

That's it. They were all bigger out of me and they're throwing it all on the widow is quid. No, he did it. Your Honor, he took the boxing glove and the hammer. He's the mastermind. They're throwing it on me. I didn't trod out of you. Quiet.

Your Honor, this is fucking crazy. Literally, what are we doing? Yeah, what are we doing? You're going to make me weed? I can't even weed. I've heard both arguments. And I've come to my decision. Office of slaves

I'm going to live in you one day Excuse me It's a callback to an early Oh the tomb thing Because for a minute I was like whoa okay I'm not gonna kill you But once you're dad

What Did you just say what to what you said Little boy? Are you? Did you self what little boy? I did Wait why What am I doing over here?

What am I talking about? I've gotten myself a witter-washed here. I wish I had a map. I don't know which way I'm going. No, I'm living in a lot. But I'm going to weed it anyway. I wouldn't be able to weed it anyway. Sometimes I can't weed.

Sometimes. Oh, no? Okay. Even by yesterday's paper? I haven't been able to sell it. In court? That's what you're on trial for. Ah, shit.

Because I fucked up. Anyone want to buy a paper? Yesterday's house. I'm trying to make a nickel. Dave's holding his hand up, please somebody. Somebody make this stop. This is your punishment, Dave. This is, if you were on trial and you were found guilty

and your punishment is not reading, your punishment is listening to me. This podcast. I absolutely did not deserve this. Judge Feinthout, frightened Howard by sentencing him to the state training school and then cheered the culprit with a suspension of sentence so long as Howard will report regularly to the probation officer.

Okay, so he suspended the sentence. He gave him. But he gave him, no. Nine years old. No, he sentenced him to a state training school and then he gave him probation. That's fucking crazy. You can't just let these kids run around willy-nilly. They're grabbing butter and their papers and it's a nightmare out there.

It sounds like chaos. The same moral, Mm-hmm. Dave, Dave, are you a soccer fan? Yes. See, this is, it's like calling, it's like a ref calling foul

on what is kind of a soft push on the keeper in the box during a corner, but it's like if you don't call it then, it's just going to become the meat wall that Arsenal has imposed upon the rest of the Premier League. And so you have to call the fouls when they're a little soft

so that you don't let everything go. Anyway, because then you get Arsenal winning a title. It's absolute fucking garbage. I've been thinking about doing a trip this August to properly explore Quebec City. Talking about wandering the cobblestone streets of the old city, grabbing a fresh-baked croissant before anyone else is awake, then wandering over to Marceau du Vueport, where locals grab maple butter and fresh cheese right by the train station.

That's my kind of trip. While planning a trip like this, I've been thinking about my own place, sitting empty while I'm off exploring another city. So now when I travel, I look into listing my space on Airbnb. Somebody else gets to experience everything that makes my city special for a few days, walking to neighborhood favorites for breakfast, catching a movie at the historic theater, spending golden hour at the nearby observatory, and discovering the kind of local spots you'd never find if you were just passing through. This is the kind of thing that just makes sense once you think about it.

It doesn't matter if you're gone four days or two weeks. Your home can be put to work while you're off exploring somewhere else, and you'll put some extra cash in your pocket. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.c.ca. Gareth, August. That's the perfect time to hit reset before the autumn rush begins. And look, I cannot think of a better way to start.

than my closet. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I love shopping at Quince. Quince is all about the fewer better prices. You know that. Their clothes are made with premium materials that they just last, and they're designed to become the ones you reach for it day after day, which you do.

Dave, my special coming out pretty soon, all quints on the road. We have a little closet rack in the back of the van that we use. You and I are rocking lots of quince things hanging. You cannot beat Quince. Cannot beat it. I was out in the heat all weekend at my kids' baseball games, and I was fully linened, all Quince-Linning. You were rocking that linen look the other day,

and we were talking about it unprompted. I had Quince pants on. That's how I do it. I'm a quince. Sexy Quince pants on. And look, Quince, it's the go-to for everything from hotel quality bedding and bath essentials to premium cookware and travel must-haves.

It's not just clothes. That's what I'm saying. They're doing everything. So look, upgrade your every day. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com slash dollop. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash dollop. Yeah.

It's absolute fucking garbage. Absolutely garbage. Gareth? This is good. You know, I like what you're both saying. It's perfect. Still, it kept Man City from winning, so there's justice. The same moral shower...

The same moral shower bath was given to George Bile, age 15, who had refused to pay... Gave him a bath? Who refused to obey his parents. And you all bathe. Moral shower bath. And this one I'll bathe. I'll take a bath with this one. The court owner is disbued to...

bathe with me. You will go to Juvie and go to probation and you'll come to my house. We'll take a bath. And you'll get in my tub. You'll get in my tub and we'll have a little bath and then you'll be free to go. You're sentenced to the tub, son.

Do you have anything to say? Is it nice and warm? Let's get in. If your kid doesn't want to take a bath, I'm going to make you take a bath of the judge. You don't want to take a bath of the judge, do you? No. Let me step out of this robe and get in the tub with you.

There we are. Any regrets? I'm leaving the wing on. And the gavel. Order in the bath. Well, look at that. We're both hairless. Oh, Christ, that'll feel good.

Oh, dear. Sorry. Sorry, apologies. Some of my skins come off. Oh, dear. Bet you'll never sell an old newspaper again. What a way to stop bad behavior. I would work.

I mean, I swear if I was 15 in court, and you'll take a bath with you. I sentenced the three of you to a bath with me. I would stop overnight. And not together, one at a time. Full water exchanged, very little bubbles. No soap. No soap.

No change, though. It's clean water every time. We would be changing the water, yeah. Oh. No, as a matter of fact, no, no. The biggest criminal will go last in the filthy water. Okay. And I'll stay in it.

But you're in the filthy water the whole time. For me, this isn't about getting clean. That's something God can only do. How long are you in there, then? Hours. Hours. I get a sandwich with each boy. They're boys?

Yeah, you didn't know that? This is a children's guard. Yeah, they're all boys. I don't want to bathe with a man. Man. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

I should point out, part of my fetish is that I like the bath with the boys. I'm not. I'm not right. Yeah, I'm not a weirdo. I'm not going to bathe with an adult woman or man. We've changed from this being a sentence. Or a little girl.

It's just boys. Your fetish. No. You've said that. No. We're not putting words in your mouth. You're putting words in your own mouth. Uh, wait.

What? Hold on. Wait, wait. We can't even read it back because of all those extra ease. Welcome to fetish, Cort. All right. I see a fetish court. I sent you to lick my bear back.

Slowly. It's time for the pegging. All right. Put a frog in me and then you're free to go. What? Oh, sorry. We're still in court? I'm sorry.

I didn't realize. No, we're not court anymore. All right. We have to beach. I like a frog. So what? I will say, this is going to be a hot take. Speaking of, Chloe, this is unnecessary.

But hey, we're going to say. Here we go. Get ready to cut. Doing a straight woman. Yeah. Preston, get ready to have to pull this out. Finger hovers over space par. Go ahead.

A straight woman doing butt stuff to a man. Mm-hmm. You do sort of realize how men kill women. because what just happened keep going you're so you're so the man is so vulnerable in a way that women never like we never experience that kind of that kind of physical power never ever ever ever and the only time we ever get close to it is if we are doing butt stuff to a man and it's like pleasurable right like this is nice in a consensual sex situation but you but it is like oh the the feeling of power is intoxicating and I am like I guess

I kind of understand. If a man feels this over a woman all the time, like I understand how a lot of women just, or a lot of men just like let that run rampant. It's not good. Like, you should stay on top of it. But I do,

that is the closest I've ever understood to murder. You know. I'm stabbing flesh. So yeah. That's my take. Yeah, yeah. It's very soft.

Am I fucking wrong? Like I guess. I'll be honest. I don't, not, I don't, I don't, I wouldn't say never because,

you know, the mind wanders, but I don't think I've ever been like, killing seems like the next step when do you see what comes after Rayl? Shall I come to kill? For the record.

For the record. I'm just saying that like I get what you're saying. You're saying the guard is so down. You has to be. And for us we are used to having our guard down like that because we have to lower our guard like that anytime we're having even like consensual happy sex.

Yes. Yeah. But yeah, I get it. But that's it. But stuff's off the table when it comes to me now, now that I know what y'all are thinking. What are we thinking about? Yeah. Focus.

I think it's helpful for you guys to feel the vulnerability because it's the only time that men will ever come close to. Can I feel it without letting something go in my ass is my question. Is that possible? No, I don't think so. No, you got to put it in your ass. Well, finally a reason that I'm comfortable with. Yeah. It's empathy for feminism. Yeah.

So this makes sense. I want you to know what it's like to be a man. I mean, now it makes sense because it's. every time I've been pegged, the woman's like, I could snap your fucking neck. Yeah. Yeah. That's what's going on.

And you kind of liked it, Dave. And we, and that's, and they could sense it. I did sense it. I did sense it. You were very vulnerable. Is that a crazy take that I just said?

No, it isn't. It's interesting. It's fascinating, honestly versus crazy. Yeah. Well, when you said that,

because, you know, there's a lot of women that like to peg I was always like, what do they get out of it? And now I know what they could have. We never, there is a power dynamic that we never experience any other way. Yeah.

And I'll say as a man, very vulnerable, no doubt. Yeah. To be there like, how are you? Okay, whatever you're ready. That power dynamic you never experience. No, no, no, not as a straight. As a gay I have. Never is a straight.

Many, sweethearts. We've really covered a lot of important stuff on this episode. Is this podcast still going? That's great. I don't know. You know what? Let's record one. You know, I'm going to say for a lot of people, it's not.

Let's record one. I think you're going to get a lot more people. By the way, you're going to have a lot of weird men up front from this podcast appearance. A lot of solo tickets for just. Yeah. You got a lot of DMs. A lot of one guy's at one table like I had to buy a table. You don't want to go into a nerd podcast and be like, pegging.

Like, ooh, you just set off. A lot of these guys just ordered butter. It's natural. Chloe, I'm a big fan. I have the biggest block of butter you can possibly imagine. You know how when you can't get ketchup out of the bottle, how you do it? Please. What about getting pegged by butter?

Please. Yeah, butter peg? Hell yeah. What's that on your bad? You think your dad could have thrown the bottle of ketchup with such a perfect spiral that it could get into somebody? His ass? 100% Dave's dad.

Any bottle? Dave's dad could do anything he wanted to anyone. This guy walked on freaking water. What a king. Many sweethearts

greet her at Depot. Oh, boy. This is Wilkes Bar, Pennsylvania. I thought this is an excerpt of my show. Hello, Chloe. Edna Witts coming all the way from the western part of the state to wed Joseph Custman, the sweetheart of her girlhood,

whom she has not seen in many years, found when she arrived at the station at Auden Reed tonight. Grooming. A group of men holding a hat in one hand and a handkerchief in the other. Oh, my God. Hey, creeps. This is what dudes. This is what they did.

Yeah, dudes would just seriously show up and be like, how are you, man? May I marry you? You're off the train. There was an earlier news headline of Anna comes home to Wilkes Bar. Yeah, and a bunch of people like, well. And they read that newspaper and they were like, I'm going to go to the depot. Hello. How are you?

I'd love a shot. Or it was a train of women that arrived that was supposed to have a bunch of ladies on it. Sounds targeted. It sounds like it was after her. Maybe I'm kind of We did an episode where this one woman Because she was busty basically Right

Yeah, boops She just this busty woman Would get followed to work every day By thousands of men in New York Thousands were like How are you? And she was like excuse me Like I'm talking 10,000 men

10,000 men were like The streets The Look, I just want to say You would cheat too Are you That's Instagram Oh, well that happened.

Well, that happened. I mean, if we I think we gotta end on that, don't we? Well, let's... That is as good as it gets. I got one more about this Wilts Bar headline. I'm just wondering if this is the first known historical record

of using the term running train. man we'd love to run a train you guys go one after another oh yeah okay that's what we all yeah that sounds good too we actually met the real train yeah but what you're saying is awesome I see no issues with your pitch on it man that's why we all brought these handkerchiefs

that's why we've all got our scarves Brooke Van Poppin told me that there is there was a thing where women would just get on trains and you'd go out and meet your guy that you'd wait what there was a peer member orphan trains but it's like that but for women women would just pop out and be like hello well they it was set up you just didn't know the guy oh like a blind date but with a train yeah a blind date to fuck well it's more marriage but you do your thing no but it could be

it was fucking it was just they had to pretend you took that to a place where ladies just coming trains went somewhere, got banged and came back? I mean, by the way. Awesome. I don't hate the bitch at all. I'm going to stop here. Just getting panged real quick. How are you, ma'am?

I live right around here. No need for going anywhere. I'm saying that sounds like something, you know, this is in the same era where women would go to the doctor and the doctor would be like, oh, you're hysterical and, like, use a vibrator on her, give her an orgasm, and then she'd go home. You know, I'm saying this train, this train operation, just go have sex and come back.

I didn't know that doctors were doing that. Women would just show up and they'd be like, you need to come real. I've never done that episode. No. Yeah, I got to do that one. God. I never wanted to be a doctor more in my life.

Gay dudes have subway fucks, which is when I was, I had a gay room in San Francisco and he comes back and he says, I just had the crazy subway fuck. And I'm like, what? And you would, you'd see a guy on the subway and you wouldn't say anything. And you'd both acknowledge, like, we want to do this. and they just go fuck and they wouldn't talk and then they'd park. And I was like, that's awesome.

Yeah, it's pretty good. But where is the fucking happening? At one of their house. He went to the other guy's apartment. Not on the train grinder, basically. Not on the train, no. No, they would you just follow up the other guy. Well, it's cruising, but it's that you have a machine doing the cruising for you.

Yeah. Yeah, it's like great cruising. You don't have to wander. No. You just literally like, I guess I'm going to go over there. cruising with an engine. Yeah, exactly. I really am picturing the doctor with the vibrator.

That just sounds great. Well, no, because you know, suddenly want to go into medicine. Yeah, without question. But, like, she's like, no, I have a rash on my arm and be like, here's what you need. I've got a vibrator. Let's see what that does, huh? No.

Honestly, everyone would be like, yeah, sure. Oh, yeah, they're like, I need to see the doctor again this week again. You're going to another doctor? Yeah, he's great, but he's not a rash guy. But he's great. He's unbelievable what he does. You got to see him. He's awesome.

He lays down a lot of the extra wax paper. We got to find out what he's going to do this. Well, she blew the lamp bulb. They bowed and smiled and waited for her to descend the steps of her car where she stood irresolute. The girl surveyed them with embarrassment, but presently sprang with a glad cry, into the arms of a man who was frowning, and the next minute he was laughing with her. He was Kurtman, so she picked the right guy.

But she knew who he was. Yeah, that seems so normal. But why were the other guys there? Have you seen The Odyssey? Think of the series. No, I haven't seen it. I mean, I've read it. I'll see it.

I don't like books, so. Yeah. It appears that when. The written word is bad. upsetting. It's a poem. Fuck that. Now I'm really mad.

It appears that when he finally induced his sweetheart to come on and marry him, he told her he would stand at the station with a hat in one hand and a handkerchief in the other so that she would recognize him. Then, in his happen, as he told a couple of friends, and they spread the news, and practical joggers couldn't resist the opportunity. It's a Sparticus. It's a love Spartacus. It's a hilarious prank.

A bunch of dudes showed up. to see if she would be able to recognize. I think so, yeah. Pretty cool. How many of them thought it was a funny joke and how many of them thought that it was, thought that like they maybe had a shot? Every man.

Every man was like, every man was like, ah, this is funny. But seriously, if she comes over here, I will take her home and do whatever. Yeah, that'd be awesome. That'd be amazing. I need to be pegged. Okay, Hank, why don't you just, come on now.

I'm desperate to feel the inversion of the power structure here in... I just want her to know what it's like to feel the power of murder. Hank. No! I'll be on all fours. She could do whatever she wants in that moment, and I want her to feel that uncontrollable power. Also, I don't hate it.

They don't hate it. Proustie. Gotta feel nice. Well, Chloe. thank you for being here. I really, I do think more people are going to show up for your show based on this appearance.

People can go to Chloeradcliff.com to see your show, the 19th and the 20th at Joe's Pub in New York City. And also, you're just a great follow and everything. You're fucking hysterical. You're funny. So go, and you have a bicycle built for two show as well. So people should just go do all that.

Yeah, check me out. I'm going to do that show once you get the apparatus on the backseat. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, just let me know when the tech is there. Anyway, thank you, Chloe. Appreciate it. Was that a joke about you riding a tandem bike with a dildo in your ass? The podcast is over.

Thanks, everybody. Chloe, that was so fucking funny. Thank you for doing it. That was amazing. That was so fun. And let's talk about when you can see my movie or come and see me do stand-up in the next couple months. This is exciting. So go to gareth-rennalds.com for ticket links and all that to all this stuff.

Just scroll down if you want to see my film, Give It Up, and just stay on the tour dates part if you want to see my stand-up. Let's start with Give It Up the film. If you want to see it, you can see it August 10th in San Diego, Santa Fe, New Mexico, August 12th, Denver, August 13th, Chicago, August 13th, Chicago, August 20th, New York City, August 23rd, Philly the 24th, Raleigh, August 20th. August 26th, Atlanta, and then Nashville, August 27th. And then if you'd like to see me do stand-up, August 13th, 14th, 15th, I'll be in Fort Collins, Colorado at the Comedy Fort. And then in September, you can go see me at the Syracuse Funny Bone on September 17th, Vermont Comedy Club, September 18th and 19th, Albany on September 20th, East Providence, Rhode Island, September 22nd, Stanford, Connecticut, September 24th, New York, New York, September 25th.

Springfield, Massachusetts, September 26th, Boston, September 27th, and then more dates coming soon. So go to Gareth Reynolds.com for tickets and information to all this stuff. Come check my movie out, give it up, and come see me on the road, Gareth Reynolds.com. Love you, dollheads.