The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 192 - The Past Times with Corey Ryan Forrester

Episode Date: September 18, 2026

Dave Anthony reads a paper to co-host Gareth Reynolds and comedian Corey Ryan ForresterSOURCESTOUR DATESOFFICIAL MERCHSquareDownload Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/4cq1zeop #CashAppPodCash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Cash App Green features, Savings, Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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It's a podcast. Someone's finally doing it. You know what we do here. Each week, we go through a newspaper from a random. date and history picked out by none other than Dave Anthony. Igarath Reynolds have never seen it, and neither has this week's guest. He once again is overperforming the great Cory Ryan Forrester. Hello, Corey.

Hey, everybody. What does that mean overperforming? Am I not supposed to be funny? No, you're just, you make it very easy to do this show. Oh, well, I appreciate you guys, and that means a lot to me. But wait, we're going to, you have a, you've started to do a podcast on our Patreon, which we call the bullpen. I call the bullpen with our friend Alex Burns called Hollywood Hellscapes.

So if people want to listen to that, they can go to that. We can talk about that a little more in a second. But what did you just say before? Can you say what you just said before we started? Yeah, I recently switched medications. I'm on Zoloft now. And in order to make myself take it, I have to hide it in a chunk of cheese. What is that?

Well, you know, when you give a dog a pill. Yeah, but that's because a dog can't. fathom why you're putting something in its mouth that it doesn't want. That's the thing. See, I'm very forgetful. So what I do is I have all of these. This is an amazing answer already. I put them in random chunks of cheese when I'm, because I'm like manic sometimes and when I'm like, oh, I won't remember any of this later. Hide my pills and chunks of cheese. And then later, I'll never forget to take it because boom, chunk of cheese. Actually, all of that is a lie. It's just a bit. I haven't had cheese in about three or four months because my doctor told me,

My doctor told me, I swear to God, I went in and he gave me my numbers. He's like, your cholesterol was a little high last time. Let's see what your numbers are now. Did my blood work, came back in and this is, I swear to God, he looked at me. This is as serious as ever. He goes, I'm not kidding when I say that it is a miracle. You are not currently having a stroke or a heart attack. That's what he said.

That's not good. No, my cholesterol was 400. which yeah which as you get older you start to hear cholesterol numbers but I don't pay

that much attention but 400 I don't think you even need a frame of reference to know that that's right out of this galaxy did you live in the friar at raising canes

it's it's dude first off I wish are you pream alone if you I wish look one day that is the dream

as soon as I start If the Dalop Hollywood Hellscape's is successful and I start making some of that sweet, sweet Dave Anthony money, then yes, I will turn. You know, my long-time goal, which I've told you both before, I'm sure, is to build an extension of my house and recreate Elvis's Jungle Room. That is a true goal that I want to do. But also living in the friar at Raisin Cains would be fun. You could also call that room the Friars Club and just have a bunch of friars there. There you go. Before everybody worries, by the way, my doctor told me all this information like four or five months ago.

And I immediately, I actually took something serious that my doctor said for the first time of my life. Put the pills in the cheese. You took it seriously. And between the two visits, I lowered my cholesterol by 211 points. Which, again, is very a great number until you remember you started at 400. Yeah, that's the thing. Your cholesterol is not even. even supposed to be 200 and I lost 211.

Really. Good for you. That's awesome. Yeah. I didn't know 400 was a possibility. Well, you could tell, like I said, I saw you. You are dramatically skinnier than last time I say. I didn't realize you were over 200 points of cholesterol skinny.

Bro. I didn't either. But apparently I was. Like my blood is just, whatever the thickener they use to make fake McDonald's milkshakes, That's what's going in my blood. But you're a syrup-based being. Yeah, it's gravy. Yeah, they've got type B, type A, I'm type emulsified.

It's type G. It's gravy. It's gravy. It's great. It's gravy. Yeah. The doctor said legally change your name to gout. He's like, is it cool if you just go by gout?

Winning gout. That's me. I got it. I became convinced that I had high blood pressure to the doctor. They kept measuring going, it's fine. And I'd be like, no, my watch said. What did your doctor say when he saw your blood pressure, Corey?

He was like, my blood pressure's perfect. That's the crazy. I thought those things together. You would think. How do you have high cholesterol and? Does your doctor wear overalls? No, he's actually. You pay him in pig food?

No, let me tell. Is he in a motorhome? You would think that. But I actually, my doctor. Did he pronounce cholesterol with a chuh? He, cholesterol. You've got all of. the colist.

That's all I know. You've got colist all of it. No, he's actually a... Grab yourself a biscuit and some gravy. Get in here. Nurse, get me gravy.

Not for him. He's actually a Harvard-educated black man who dresses, he wears, okay, he wears those types of shirts that you have to be in, those linen like polos that if you're not in shape, you can't wear them. You know what I mean?

Like, like, so he's a very, well put together, black man sort of got a little huxable thing going because they're sort of like because he's a black doctor. Because you're racist.

No, no, no, because the prints of the shirts he wears are kind of exactly like Cosby's sweaters except for their... I don't know your doctor, but I bet he's not crazy about the Cosby cop. I haven't told him. You're basically saying he wears rape sweaters. Yeah, well, you know, it's funny. He told me that my... The doctor prescribed prohipanol again.

He told me that my cholesterol, And he just, he's from Philly. He went to Harvard. He told me, the first time we met, he goes, man, y'all've got a lot of this area. And remember, I'm in Marjorie to Tether Green's district. He said, y'all's area, y'all got a lot of sick people that they don't seem to want to do anything about it. And I was like, I hear you, right? So he told me, after my numbers came in, he told me, he said, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you have the highest cholesterol of any one of my patients.

Now, now listen. Now listen. Just so, oh, yeah, surely he's not. Just so everybody understands where we're, what context this is. I'm in Marjorie Taylor Green's district. This doctor's practice covers the area where we have the highest grossing golden corral in the entire country. Knowing that. How do you know that?

Premier League. I'm in the fucking premier. How many times have you gone to that golden corral? A infinite number of times. Now, do they still have the gravy tub you can get in? I haven't been there in a while since definitely since COVID. I haven't been there since COVID. Right.

But let me tell you. That's what COVID came from. I think a lot of people are saying. The Golden Corral where I live. Yes, absolutely. That golden corral is so successful that they bought the Shonis that was next door to them. Oh, no. And leveled it just for a parking lot.

Oh, my God. And in that area, I have. have the highest cholesterol. Jesus Christ. That is really, that may, you may as well get that printed on to like champions belt. That's right.

I mean, that is, that is some next level stuff. It's unbelievable. Well, that's very proud of you for all that. I, it's,

you know, the bucky, you know, Buckees is now like they're not going to build in, in blue states. They're not. Really? It's so funny.

That, it's very funny. Yeah. I mean, you know what, I mean, walking into it, the Buckees now.

I've never walked into one. I've just driven by, Dude, you walk into Buckees now and you're like, this was a bad idea. Unless you want pulled pork from a gas station. The one I saw in Arizona had just opened and it was like a hundred gas pumps. They're Walmarting them. They're like a, yeah. It's also as big as it looks on the outside.

It is somehow bigger on the inside. You're gassed when you leave. It's like a doctor who, like it's like a retardist. Like you go inside and it's bigger. I'm sorry you'll have to edit that out. That is so funny. But it really is. You walk in and you're like, did I walk into a gas station?

They're like, hello, hello. It's somehow bigger on the inside. It's absolutely insane. And for the record, unsurprisingly, this is how my cholesterol. This is how my cholesterol got so high. The Bucky Nuggets, you know, those gimmicks? The little, oh. So they're just little snacks.

They're called Bucky Nuggets. I used to get them and take them home. When I was coming back home from doing shows, I'd stop at the the Buckeys, I would get four bags. One was for my family, and the other three was for me because I would eat them as cereal. I would pour them in a bowl and put milk in them like cereal. Wait, but what are they? They're like, I mean, honestly, they're like a little bigger than like what a corn pop would be, but a similar thing, then they're coated with caramel and sugar. They taste very similar to waffle crisp when you're eating them in serial fashion, but they have

more of the texture of like a corn pop with a caramel outside that has been like bruleade almost like it's crisp, you know? Oh, unreal. Unreal. It sounds like you were trying to be the Sammy Sosa of cholesterol, but who knows? That's correct.

Corey, listen, obviously we could talk to you endlessly. People should go check out Hollywood Hellscapes on the Dalit Patreon. You and Burns do it. I hope you do. It really is great. Can I say this? Yeah, it's good. Very good.

I just wanted to say before we got started that I... We've started. Oh, okay. Listen, I saw, I got to see Garris movie in Nashville and y'all, what an absolute treat. It was such an honor. He even let me do a Q&A. I'm sure that y'all promoted that, but I, they did not pay me to say this. They would never pay me for anything.

They would never do anything for me ever, probably. It's devolving. Yeah. It's such a great movie. It was such a good time. There's only, in my opinion, two movies that have been made about the world of stand-up comedy that actually got it right. And it's Gareth's new movie and Sleepwalk with Me by Mike Barbiglia. In my opinion, those are like the two.

And so you go see it. High praise, Corey. And thank you very much. And thank you, Dave. Can't stand Burbiglia. Okay. Dave's back. Oh, Corey, I love you.

Thank you. Hollywood Hellscape's. Follow Corey online. He is one of the best follows. But now to the paper podcast. Corey? I think that's called a newspaper. Not necessarily.

That is actually true. You know what we do. You're going to guess a year. Dave's probably going to say you won. Now, Dave, what are the rules for this one? Because you keep changing them and you keep saying. So what are we going for here? Closes?

I actually can't tell you. Now that's crazy. What do you mean? That's crazy. Well, because it'll give it away too much. Corey, go ahead and guess a year. Okay. I'm going to guess

this, I'm going to guess 1860 because that was the year that William Jennings Bryan was born and for some reason I have a feeling that I remind Dave of a young William Jennings Brian. I've often been told this. It's true. And you win because...

What? And this is why... No, no, no. It was the first person who guessed would win. No! Yes. And so that's why I couldn't tell you ahead of time. Bucky Nuggett, no!

It's, yeah, so that's... What year is this one from? It's 1917. Okay. December 11th. Oh, that's the sister year of 1860, culturally. Yes. Corey.

You're better than... He's not, you are better than this. But he won. Even though you would come home and get three bags of bucky nuggets for yourself and put them in milk. But I think the reason, if I'm really searching inside of myself, I think the reason that he won is I like him so much more than you. Okay.

Well, that's what it, yeah, that'd be the guess. That'd be the guess. As a person. That'd be the guess. He's vulnerable. He tells stories about his terrible medical conditions. Which are all essentially self-inflicted. Like, he's the most American American that I know.

He's put the most American comedian. Like if he was in 1995 Russia, you'd be like, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. I would be their Yakoff Smirnoff. Yeah. Jackoff Smearnoff. Which is what actually when you masturbate drunk on vodka. That's my diet, yeah.

He's our slowest suicide. Well, I think now the compliments. That means a lot. I don't think you should. No. Genuinely, everything you just said means so much to me. It's a little difficult right now to hear you're the most American American because that could mean many things. But I personally take it.

I have. in that. Yeah, yeah. He loves his country. He sure does. Only one I got. That takes the shine off it. Only one I got. You got a dance for the lady that brouchy.

Are we in a Georgia paper date? We're in the Atlanta Constitution. Oh, he's not for them. Ex-employer. Sure. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Fired him.

Cut him. on this show. They were concerned that he would have a stroke. And so they let him go. Of genius, not of the pen. This might be tough for you to remain unbiased, considering they did fire you. Well, this is actually the Atlanta Constitution. What you don't understand is this is before they merged.

There was the Atlanta Constitution and there was the Atlanta Journal. One was more left-leaning, one was more right-leaning. And then yada-a-da-a-a-a-the-economy, they merged. So technically I don't know if these people were ever my employer. I was only there post-merger. Okay. So, yeah, I think you can remain unbiased. Yeah.

About it. December 11th, 1717. It's a Tuesday. That's a birthday. Oh, there you go. That's weird. I feel like we already heard the date. And then, and then he heard it was birthday.

We just heard 1917. Did I say the whole day? I thought I heard December 11th. Maybe I'm wrong. Well, maybe he was just so excited. But happy birthday. We're the same sign, Corey. Yeah.

We are. Look at us. L. Like a loser. No, we're Sagittarius boys, which if you know anything about horoscopes means we can't be friends. Yeah, and yet, here we are. Yeah. Yeah.

But we love each other. Very much. No, I didn't mean me and you can't be friends. I mean, if you know anything about horoscopes, I can't be friends with you because that's malarkey. Yeah. Yeah. What's happening? I don't know.

I just know. I know we don't get along. because you're a Sagittarius. What? Christ. But Dave's sign is stop. They changed it, though. So for like two years, me and you were something different.

We were sort of like, yeah, they did a Pluto thing. Like, they were like, actually we're adding a sign, and all the Sagittarius has became something for two years. And then they went back and they were like, never mind. So we were like sort of the Pluto sign for a run in on that conversation. Most Sagittarius didn't know, which is very Sagittarius. That true. So us.

So nice. Okay. All right. Go ahead. City not responsible for dynamited house. Yep. That sounds like an L.A. headline. Yep.

This is 100% of Los Angeles headline right here. No one was blaming the city. They just had to get out in front of it. Remember when they blew up all those houses in South Central because they had? Yeah. And they were just like, oopsie. Well, that's the end of that. It's fucking craziest.

The suit of Miss Sorry, the suit of Mrs. J.E. Gilbert Against the city of Atlanta, which grew out of the destruction of her home At 332 East North Avenue. We don't get the address for a blown up house. We do, though. It's everywhere.

I mean, it doesn't exist. Yeah, it's all over. There's probably pieces. Yeah, there's a three. I would like to go look at a dynamited house and see the foundation and the little. My living room is down the corner. the dining rooms down the block

we got blown up by dynamite Life's a fucking cock That was a popular song that came out right after this Yeah Yeah People were a little A Hickey Angel People were a little thrown by the last

Yeah Yeah the last line I think the label flagged But either way That's a beautiful voice Didn't get on the radio Beautiful voice Someone's in my backyard Something's in Dave's backyard

Maybe someone dynamite. That was the second verse. Something's in my backyard. On May 21st at the home of the Atlanta fire was thrown out of the Fulton Superior Court yesterday morning when Judge J.T. Pendleton sustained a demuror. What is it demuror? What he's like sort of soft.

Demirer, like I thought that was a state of being like to play down. Like his demure was sweaty. I thought demure was to sort of play it off a little bit. Demure. Like if I were to be like, I think where Corey lives, it's actually what you see your reflection in. That's how my uncle talks.

Yeah, I was going to say, that's how my uncle talks. Like, if you want to see what's on your face, go look in demure. You got something in your teeth. Go look in demure. It's really devolved. Demered. Sorry. It is a.

Apologize to him. A demure. is a legal pleading that asks the court to dismiss a case because the opposing party's claims are legally insufficient even if all their stated facts are true. Well, we got rid of that. Okay, so, wait. So all the facts are true. But there's not enough legal information.

Oh, but it's not legally right. Information to actually proceed. Your Honor, we moved to demure. It is true that your house was blown up by dynamite, but what we're trying to tell you is, That's all fine and dandy. Yeah. That's all good. Don't worry.

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Cash App, a Block, Incorporated brand. Visit Cash app. Give us at Cash.com. App slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. That's where we hide them all. The past times is also brought to you by Square. Look, Square. It's a platform behind the scenes of tons of businesses that you already know and you love, like your shoe guy, the guy who.

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No, we're not ejecting any cats from rooftops. We store cats for work. What kind of work? Cats can do a ton of work. I mean, mainly we build chariots. chariots, chariots pulled by cats. Cat pulled chariots. Are the cats building the chariots as well?

No. Okay, sorry. No, that's the men, the Romans are building the chariots. The cats are pulling the chariots. I got you. So, yeah, so that's just another example of how Square can work for you. This isn't just a point of sale. Square includes hardware that works in person and on the go, software for managing stuff,

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We use Square. Gotcha. But we're out of them right now. We put them up for sale intermittently and we're way behind and a lot of people haven't gotten them. That's nothing to do with Square. The Square is working for us in every way. But the other parts of the business have been precarious.

Bryce has given me a sort of cutthroat signal. So why don't you just go ahead? Is Bryce a cat? Bryce a cat, yep. Yeah, Bryce is two cats and a cat suit. Sure. So if you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools, Square helps you sell, manage, and grow without slowing down.

Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com slash go slash dollop. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E.com slash G-O-S-Dollop. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. Mrs. Gilbert claimed that Mayor Chandler and Chief Cody of the fire department ordered her home dynamited. Wow.

In order to prevent the spread of fire, which did not entirely reach her house. Wait, can you imagine seeing your house like surviving a fire and then the cops blow it up? Because they're like, it's a concern. We're trying to stop fire. So please excuse this fireball. Look, we thought we had heard that somebody was going to blow up your house with dynamite, and we thought we'd get out ahead of it,

and we'd just go ahead and blow it up with dynamite, because when we blow it up with dynamite, we know exactly how to blow it up with dynamite. The fear is you're going to lose your house to fire. Now we're going to make fire to lose your house. We're fighting dynamite with fire here. We're going to either way. Yeah, whatever, we're fighting fire with dynamite.

You have to excuse my partner. He's new here. We're firemited it. We're firemoting. Hey, look at this guy. Where'd you come from? This is my son. She's got the gene.

She sued the city for five. On what ground! 541. I demand $500. For personal belongings, which were destroyed or damaged by the dynamite. Wow. The city claimed that the chief and mayor were without authority. from being from the city

wait the city claimed that the chief and mayor were without authority from the city to order the dynamiting and that this authority is vested in the city council which must by a majority vote decide the question of dynamite

hold on no that's true they're saying they're saying you can't sue the city because what the fire chief and mayor did wasn't the legal procedure to dynamite house. You can, and there is a proceed.

You can just, so hold on. If I run for city council, one day I could go, hey, guys, slow week, I'd just like to bring a motion to the table. I was thinking the other day, what if we dynamited Fred's house? Yeah. Here, here. Do I have a second? Here, okay, let's do it. Wait a minute.

But the problem here being that, there's no problem here. They did it because there was a fire coming towards the house, so they blew it up as a stopgap. Well, it was worried your house might be lost to flood, so we put hoses in it. And ruined it. But they had to... And ended up flooding it and losing it. They wanted a stopgap, right? So they blew it up.

The fear was the magma would hit your home, so we dropped it via helicopter. Although the fire never got to the house. So you wouldn't have time to go to the city council, because that's like a... Well, wait for the next meeting. but the fire's coming. Okay. You know what? Allow me to judge.

Enough hole poking. These men are heroes. Go ahead, Corey. Poke a hole. Look, I'm not a, I don't have a map, but could they have dynamited in front of her house? Like, they just need a hole, right? Like, they need a hole to stop. Also, did they try water first?

Like, was this the first, like, how many ideas did they have before they were just like, Fuck this bitch in her house? Before we knew fire was the enemy of water. And we did not know that water can stop it, so yes, we were spraying oil on it. By the way, that should be called the water department. Thank you. Think about it. That's true.

They don't bring fire. They don't bring fire. They're bringing something to fight fire, which is water. Your Honor, there's a confusing organization. You should call the fire department when you want something in your fireplace. The honor there's already a water department. They provide water to houses. Well, they should be called the bath situation.

The bath situation. They should be called the center for baths. The bath situation sounds like an A-24 film that would do numbers at cans. Yes, sir. Your Honor, there already is a bath department for the summer bathing. So we already have a bath department. Well, then I must recuse. myself of my demure.

Yes. Your Honor, are you washing? Yes. I'm trying to get a dingleberry. That's why I'm looking at demure. I'm trying to get a dingleberry. I'm not trying to get rid of one. I'm trying to acquire. I'm trying to get one. You know why? Because I'm not trying to acquire a dingleberry. In order to

get rid of a dingleberry, you must first have yourself a dingleberry. Everybody knows this. Those are my lady bucks. Supplying demands. Well, this part. Pie's delicious. What is that?

Those are dingle bears. Oh, my word. My God. That's a horrid answer. Them's my lady. We'll dingle my berry and call me demure. This is the best pie I've ever had. Dingleberry.

We nail it. The people should get credited for terms like Dingleberry. There should be someone who we should be able to trace it back to someone. Used to, Urban Dictionary was a thing. I used to submit things all the time. That does not surprise me. It's still on there, isn't it? It's still there.

Is it? Right on. I wonder if mine's still on there. I'm sure yours are all your terrible things that you see. Yeah, right on. Right on. Right on. Well, anyway, her house got blown up.

You're going to ask me what mine was that I submitted. Go ahead. Do you need us on the show? Great gravy blood? No, it was pickle dicklia, which was the medical term for when your dick smells, because you've been working out all day. It's the souring of the penis after you've been in shorts all day,

working out, pickle dicklia. there's a world where that didn't get said and that's what I'm wondering about there's a world where there's more than four people still listening to the podcast there's a quantum universe where Corey didn't say that and that's why I want to go you're a father correct pickle dicklia pickle dicklea yeah I thought it was a good one now I know why the urban dictionary the souring of the penis the souring of the penis now I know why it's gone the urban dictionary

Oh, my God. Are you, have you been labeled a terrorist for coming up with that term? Not for coming up with that term, but yes, I have been labeled a terrorist by many people in my town. Because I have depression, they combined it and they call me Sysis, you know, where I'm from. What does that mean? I'm like, but I'm also in the back of a Toyota like because I'm a terrorist because I'm a terrorist, because I'm, I, I love people and support health care. Cysis.

Yeah, it was, look, man, it was improv. It was on the spot. It wasn't that bad. No, it was good. I'm sorry, like most people listening, I'm still thinking about pickle dick, man. How to get away from it. Where what's known as reeling?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. This is tough. You said a lot of bad things. Al-Qaeda. Al-Qaeda.

You know what I mean? Okay. I don't know. This is going to be our shortest episode. We are going to, We're going to stop it here. This is one party. I'm very sorry.

I'm already fired from this show and Hollywood Hellscapes. It was a fun run. Yeah, it's wild. Wild to be fired from, yeah. It's crazy. Burns is the one who should be fired. All right, Dave. Let's keep going.

Yeah, it's tough. Anyway, they blew up that lady's house probably because she's black. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Well, I don't know. The fact that she had a house means that she might not have been black. I think she was renting because she's just doing for the, what was in I'm sorry. I'm fully on a pickle dickly a loop.

My bad. Yep. It's over. No gong for Decatur. No gong for Decatur. This is going to be racist, isn't it? I mean, it's definitely close. It seems now that there will be no gong in the clock in the DeKalb County Courthouse. Okay, no.

Because of China. Commissioner Freeman called the meaning. Monday of those interested, but only two or three citizens were present. The architects say it will cost not less than 5,000 to place a clock and chimes in the courthouse. And that being the case, it is clearly up to the citizens. The county cannot afford to spend that much money now. Mr. Freeman said after the hour for the meeting had passed. Plus, how are we going to hear it with all the dynamite?

Yeah, right. They said no one came to their meeting about the... Because they were being exploded. But you would think in 1917 that people... This would be a huge thing. People don't care. I think they used to. No, but look, I don't know if they ever did.

I think a lot of people just... I think when people are comfortable, they don't care. So we just had a... There was a city council meeting last night. And I went on to... Did you paint your chest again? I went on Zoom. I painted my chest. I always paint a number.

Yeah. And so... You got a foam finger that wags itself. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. You guys get it. Doing this with his foam finger. Hey.

He's got the two-beard helmet on. Mr. Anthony, please get to your point. Your Honor. And on the city... I'm not a judge. On the city subreddit, all these people are talking about a flock is terrible. Yeah.

The cameras, right? Yeah, a guy puts up there, he's like, hey. Not geese, yeah. No, sea goals. And a guy puts up there like, hey, there's a city council meeting. We should all attend online or in person. And then only three of us did. Right.

That's crazy. And they're all up in arms, but then three. And you're like, yeah, because everyone's just fucking comfortable. Like no one. Right. Well, that's what I was going to suggest. Like back in the day, I don't think they cared more. There was just less to do.

That's what I thought. People used to wave at. boats. You know what I mean? Yeah. I still wave at boats. Yeah, that's not waving a boat. If I see a boat, I'm going to wave. Yeah. Well, I mean, don't, go, don't let it be said. The only reason, you not let it be said that if I see a boat, I will not wave. I surely will. But I'm not driving down there just to wave at the boat. But they used to. But it's why you carry a handkerchief, like you said. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My family. My family. Corey's the only guy who's got a sham while within fist distance.

just so you know Corey's the only guy I know is hanging in there with the sham wow he's the only guy we know who uses the shamwow on his body yeah that's right yeah well that's how you get rid of pickled dicklia that's true it's the only way

the hamwhal of my wiener can only be clans what no no nope nope nope I'm gonna dynamite this house before the fire hits it you are not gonna start doing that

viscosity is not coming in the conversation okay I get it. But yeah, that's what my point was more that it was, you know, everyone went to every parade. There was less going on. Yeah, sure. I think you're right. By the way, flock isn't even the biggest worry anymore.

What are those, what is the new one that? Avon, I think it's called Avon. Yeah, Avon calling. That one's cool because that one is owned by an Israeli company and they have also come up with a feature. They've already outflokped. They can use AI to. They made flock the car phone of spy tech. They use, they can use AI to alter the video.

so they can just fake videos. So it's the premise of the show, the capture. It's the premise of the show The Capture. It's just already happening now in real life. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I don't know the capture, but yeah. Well, they had to do something because they had to be getting real scared on how unifying fuck the flock cameras was.

Yeah. Like we had to, not since Luigi, have I seen a moment where I was like, hey now, a lot of people that are very different are showing up at the same point. saying the same things and they're going to have something to say there's something's going to have to be done about this and it's so now it's fucking cg i to give you a traffic ticket yeah now they've got pixar cams i actually made one of the city council woman there's one woman on the city council i actually made her go what during my i was when you did that when you took your shirt off and yeah i took my shirt off and this is my number it was zero yeah you'd been your whole chest was like

Think about that. Yeah. You had a zero omitted. Yeah. I want to go to a city council meeting because I've always wanted to say, listen up here, lady, and it be in like context. And I think you can do it at a city council meeting. You know what I mean? Like, if you have a true grievance and it's a councilwoman, if you have a true grievance, you can say, listen up here, lady.

And everybody has to for a second. I'm not so sure. I think he's right. He doesn't even know what they're talking about. Hey, listen up here, lady. Yes? Yeah. All right. Thank you so much.

There you go. I would like to have a Picklediclia entered into the record. Is they're grabbing your arms? Get your hand off me. Get your hand off me. Get your hand. Everyone get the heads. Pickledicular.

It's called the souring of the peaties. You used to get it on a coffee mug at urban dictionary.com. I don't know if they ever sold them, but. I'm getting word they didn't. That's excellent. The first three speakers at the meeting, and this is so great. The first guy goes up and does a three-minute poem about how climate change isn't real.

Oh, good. And then the next guy goes up with an interpreter because he only spoke Armenian, and he said his rent was being raised, and he couldn't afford it. And you? And then the third guy... All right, Mr. Anthony?

This is a tough act to follow, Congresswoman. The third guy went up and he was mad that he thought some of the city council members had laughed while the guy was reciting his poem. And he said, he said, don't start the clock yet because I want to make this comment first. And they talked for like a minute and a half. Untime down. And they were like, we don't do that. Like the clock already started. and then his next

his last minute, 30, which is screaming that they've taken his time away. That's amazing. That is so fucking awesome. Now, hold on. I want to get to my point, but before I do,

I want to, the clock needs to be put on trial. 50 seconds. I want, no, I want 60, I want 80 seconds because you're not allowed to

40 seconds. No, you're not going to do 40. Get it back up to, at least take me back to 60 when I started this rant here. 30. You're not going to do 30.

Okay. So the whole, well, first of all, the way the people were giggling at his poem, first of all. That man's poem was 20. No, not 20. Not 20. 10.

Shut the fuck up. All right. Let it close it. All right. Hold on. My house was blown up because of a fire. Your time's up. Picklediclia. There's no way. I don't know what the poem about. Because if you said it was about climate change not being real, right? Yeah, yeah.

That is so, like, I don't even have to read the poem for that to be a hilarious thing because people who deny climate change, poetry is at the very bottom of ways they communicate. So that's already hilarious. The Venn diagram of that. It was incredible. Yeah. Because he started doing a poet. I'm like, oh, he's doing, he's like an artistie guy doing a poem about how things are bad. And then I was listening to it. I was like, no, this is like saying climate change doesn't exist.

Also to be confused. Well, are you pro or anti? Did it rhyme or was it one of those bullshit poems that some people ride? It rhymed. By the way, I agree, Corey. Poems have to rhyme. Sorry. I do too. Poems have to rhyme.

I don't want to hear non-rhyming poetry. That's called the fucking story. Yep. That's a tirade. Well, then sometimes they'll do it where it's like, it's like they, not only do they not rhyme, but the way that they've spaced them out on the fucking page, it's like, this one line has, this one line of text here has, has. two words, then the next one has four.

And I'm not talking about haikus. I understand what haikus are. But the way it looks on the page, and it's all this fucking wasted space and wasted trees from a person who you know cares about the fucking trees, this pretentious piece of shit. Write a goddamn story or make it rhyme. This is me with two roads diverge in a yellowwood, Robert Frost. Two roads diverged in the yellow wood.

And I took the one less travel, but I'd be like, why not just say the one that looked good? Bobby, baby Right there You're gonna get the masses There was a playboy That had been rained on On this road So I went down that one

Now Corey I'm gonna have to ask you to leave Bobby and I are working on some stuff here That's okay my bad Borg pages of the playboy Was still good to Jack to Cory not now Oh boy weren't they

Because what would happen was Sometimes the page It would get a little stuck together You'd pull them apart And then you'd get the girls titty The actual girls tities And then like a nunny from another one that had been stuck from the other page.

So it looked like a three-nippled lady. And I was a bit, you know, big into sci-fi. Well, and pigs. No, he's right, he's right. Go ahead. It's definitely time to move on. And pigs. And pigs.

Attempt to blackmail, pretty bride, charged H.T. Skelton indicted. Uh-huh. I know. H.T. Skelton. Somebody just heard blackmail and started cocking their shotgun. How you spell in mail.

How you spell in Skelton? How you spelled it? How do you spell? By the way, I don't know which one's which I should point that out after asking my question. Either one fills me with fear and racism. Impotently. Why don't they call it white male? That's what coupons are.

That white mail. That's the coupons. H.T. Skelton was indicted. Scratch here and you could win a Toyota. I got some white mail. I got white mail. Cranberry's two for the price of four. White male.

H.T. Skelton was indicted by the Fulton grand jury yesterday afternoon on the charge of attempting to blackmail the pretty seventh-year-old wife of an Atlanta man. Oh, boy. The pretty 72-year-old wife? 17 year old. Oh, I got that way off. Okay. Honestly, pretty progressive for back then.

17 year old wife? Yeah, no. Let's not hand out gold medals at the Perv Olympics just yet. The thing is, the 1917 was also known as the year of Seinfelding. Yeah, 1917, he's like, oh, man, almost legal. Well, dude, no, I mean, in Georgia, the age, god damn it, don't say, don't, don't, don't say that you know what it is. Be that guy. Be that guy.

Be that guy. Be that guy. Be that guy. Be that guy. By the way, if you really want to know the age of consent in every state, download the Delia app. The Delia app shows you the age of consent in every state. So that you can figure out the wiggle room around the legal system.

But even then, don't forget, Snapchat's don't delete themselves. Dude, that fucking clip. The realization on his face when that set in is one of, it's the most, when the first person that clipped it and put the, the curb your enthusiasm music to it. That was Andy Warhol-level pop art genius. When DeLea is like, yeah, but Snapchat deletes automatically. And then this woman on the show is like, no, you could save him.

And he's like, really, truly, one of the best moments in comedy, I think. Check out the Chris Delea problem, Kyle Anderson. And he's still doing fine. Oh, yeah, theaters. Everyone's like, and the best thing, Dave and I were talking about this the other day, but it's like the way that they're like, I got canceled. It's like, no, this is not a word debate. We aren't mad at you for like using gay when it, you know what I mean?

This is literally committed sex crimes. I saw an article around when this thing was going on. I saw an article, right, and it was talking about cancel culture, and it had a picture of Harvey Weinstein. Wow, that guy. That's unfortunate the way they came back. Right. Harvey Weinstein, Louis C.K. and then Aziz Ansari, right? Aziz was like, please take me off of this Mount Rushmore.

I know, Assiz was like, all Aziz's was that he was a little weird on a date. That's right. And it was in the same picture as Harvey Weinstein. Yes. It was unbelievable journalistic malpractice. Oh, that's insane. That's insane. That is tough.

Well, we were, we on the Chalup, we were watching this clip of Jimmy Carr talking about how, you know, they came for Louis C.K. And he was basically like, you know, and he came for them. Yeah. Louis came against them. That's right. If you're not coming with me,

you're coming against me. You thought mistletoe was the creepiest thing in the doorway. Louis, why does your penis smell? Do you have a condition? No, no, no, no. No, Corey.

Quit trying to move merch. He's trying to bring awareness. No. No. You try to move bugs. Dickle Dickley and Dickhole Catfish need to be talked about more. All right. You know what?

We're not even doing the stop. Okay. Next episode. Next article. Any guy who says, any guy who said what Louis did is no big deal. You should have to lock him in a room and like just pick any guy we want. And that guy just jerks off on his step.

You know, that's really if I ever see Jimmy Carr in a green room, I'm just going to start jacking off at him. They'd be like, aren't I Mark Twain? Aren't I Mark Twain? Aren't I Mark Twain? They came for me. That's hilarious. Aren't I Mark Twain?

Soured penis in hand. Just, no. Corey. Come on, man. I'll leave. Something Louis never said. Then they transfers. Them the smell transfers to the hand.

But what do you call the hand? Oh, that's never thought about it that far. And episode reveal your answer. Okay. Okay, so we'll just start over again. H.T. Skelton was... You mean from the beginning of the show? Yeah, was indicted by the Fulton grand jury yesterday afternoon

on the charge of attempting to blackmail the pretty 70-year-old wife of an Atlanta man. Evidence presented to the grand jury was to the effect that Skelton, in the effort to force the young bride to pay him fire. $500 threatened to tell her husband facts about her, which would cause him to sue for divorce. Is $500 the only amount of money people knew about in Atlanta? That's the top. Until like 1985. That's the highest they could count.

The final be $500, the extortion will be $500. Your rent is $500. The economy of the GDP is $500. dollars. Am I the only one that finds it odd that they had to point out the pretty wife? Yeah, it's weird. You know what? I do think now they've gone through so many of these papers, I do think it's coded for white. I think that they would describe women who were white as pretty or whatever.

And then if you were a black woman, they wouldn't have any description in. What if he'd been married before and she was a real ugo? and they just didn't want it and to be confused. We need a third term. Yeah. Ugly whites. What do we call those? Oggos.

No, come on. Pickled dickle. Get out. You stop it now. Trademark. The indictment followed action taken by the husband against Skelton. It is also claimed that after she met him to learn what he intended to, Okay. It was also claimed that after she met him to learn what he intended to tell her husband

that he phoned her that he also had evidence against her husband, which would cause her to super divorce. I was like, I just am trying to lock in a divorce for you too. I just really. So it's that they both cheated on each other. This is how the song, if you like Pina Coladas, was written. Unknown fact. As a result, it is stated that she met him several times and that he threatened her if she did not give him $500. This guy was just like $500 would be really great. Now, I'd love it.

I'm really just looking for $500. And if you don't give it to me, I have evidence that your husband stole $500 from somebody. Which is a fine of $500? Yep. So how about this? I'll give you, you give me $500. The husband gives that guy $500.

Then he turns around and gives you back the $500. he owed you, Bim Bamb, and the Three Stooges. What do you say to that? I give you $500 to give him $500 that gives me $500, which we split three ways. Sir, I think you need to take a long, hard-looking demur. You absolutely right. Absolutely right.

We're done. You are done. Yep. Halifax is a city I've always wanted to properly explore. I'm talking about walking the waterfront with a coffee in hand, Finding whatever little seafood shack like Evans Fresh Seafoods over in Dartmouth, owned by a local fisherman family doling out, Acadian style fish and chips.

The kind of place the locals actually go to. That's my kind of trip. Here's where it gets practical, though. The second I start planning a trip like that, I think about my own home, just sitting empty when I'm gone. I could be listing it on Airbnb. Someone gets a real place to stay in in a real part of the city, a charming walkable neighborhood where you can experience the city at a slower pace.

Guests can explore the trails and scenic views of our nearby park, catch the glow of the city at sunset from the local observatory, or spend an afternoon wandering historic avenues, stopping into local shops, cafes, neighborhood favorites along the way. And I end up coming home with a little something extra to show for it. It's pretty hard to argue with. Honestly, once it clicks, it's hard to unclick. Whether it's a few days away or a couple of weeks,

listing your home on Airbnb can help earn you a little extra cash to fund more trips like this. Home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca. slash host. The dollop is brought to you by Quince. You know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself just wearing repeatedly over and over and over. The sweater, it goes with everything, right? The perfect pair of pants or the tea you somehow just grab first every time. Or let's say it's the corduroy jacket. or it's the kind of woolish short sleeve collared shirt.

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Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash dollop. Yep. I don't know. Santa Claus asked by child to find mother and sister. Oh, my God. As someone who dressed like Santa for work for many years,

that's, you don't know what to say to that one. Oh, how about a train? He's a private detective now. Sam Spade as Santa Claus. Of all the laps in all the world, you had to sit on mine. No. Santa. You okay?

Where was the last time you saw your mother alive? Santa, Santa. What? Do you have any of her blood? I've told you young. You're just supposed to deliver the gifts. I told you young as many times, but I had nothing to do with the disappearances of the women.

Oh my God. Forget about it, Jake. It's the North Pole. Don't worry about it. Santa. I come down that chimney with a sack full of gifts, and I leave with a... sackful, you know what I mean?

What? The ladies. Santa Claus. I mean, are we that far from finding out the Santa's doing sexual assaults? Excuse me. Santa's white. Santa's white. Excuse me. Excuse me, sorry. I want to just do it one more time.

Santa's white, okay? Facts are facts. Santa is a white man. Which statistically makes it more likely that he is a pedophile. Just so you're clear. That is a top five Fox News. moment there.

Santa is white. Went city. Elves are tiny. The tooth fairy's a bitch. And while we're at it, elves, we are fine with them being black for some reason, but Santa is... Elves can be black, but they're all very tiny. Santa is white. As long as they have pointy ears. Thank you. Are there women elves? Elfats. Yeah, there's got to be.

I don't remember ever saying, them in the cartoons. They're all dudes, aren't they? That's the sound of elves fucking. Sounds like turtle sex. Oh, my God. Let me come. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Call me Christmas, because I'm a common. It would be so funny if you lost your mind and just got locked into that right there. That's all you did. I have a recurring dream. We call it Pickled Dicklea. I have a recurring dream where I'm being fingered by the Pillsbury

doughboy. We're going to need to stop podcasting, not just this show, all shows. I gotta go. And when he does, you go, hey, uh-huh. That's actually the better way to test someone's cholesterol. How good are you at the doughboy giggle? Because that's pretty good. We have to watch a lot of cartoons, obviously, because I have a three and a half year old, and I do.

And now I have to stop doing these things because he's starting to repeat after me. But I've been having a lot of fun with like Mickey Mouse, like, you know, it's like, Oh, Goofy. It's a little deep in there. Well, y'all are you a little fuck your butt. You know, like, I just do that a lot. That's from an actual cartoon, is it not? Yeah, probably.

Oh. And so the youngster's now saying that? Yeah. He's at school. Is that my goofy fuck, Mickey? I'm not proud of this, but me and Amber we did realize, like, okay, he is starting to repeat. because this morning we went to McDonald's to get him breakfast because we'd run out. I normally cook him eggs, but we ran out of eggs and he was hungry, so I went to get him

the platter. And he was like, Dad, can I get a chocolate milkshake? And I was like, yeah, I'll get you one and you can eat, have it after your breakfast. And I go, yeah, so we'll take a small. We really want this cholesterol gene to be passed on, don't you? Hey. He's got 300 cholesterol at seven. Finish your McMuffin before you get breakfast dessert.

So I said, I said, hey, can I get a small chocolate milkshake? and they were like, yeah, sure. And then they go, they'll be sick. And they go, oh, we're sorry, sorry, sir. We were just informed that our ice cream machine is broken. And in the back, my son goes, God fucking damn it. Oh my God. I'm not proud.

I'm not proud. Yes, you are. Those are home words, and we're at McDonald's. I don't even know if you should have them as home. That's the funniest correction ever. Instead of being like, you know. don't say that, you're like, that's for the house. That's for the house. The car is not the house.

The car isn't the house. The car might be the house one day. In my neighborhood, for some people in my neighborhood, the car is the house. I'm about to be fired from three podcasts at once, so the car could be the house. Holy shit. That is so goddamn funny. All right. Back to Santa Claus asking. by a child to find mother and sister. Oh, right.

When city police, county police, private detectives, and amateur sleuths all fail to trace a missing woman and her baby. Only one man can help. Most people would give up in despair. When the police department and all private investigators failed, there's one port left to call. Ho, ho, ho! Santa Claus.

He's going to deck your halls. there's blood splattered all over the wall this was a bludgeoning Santa the kids are still here oh Miss H. W. Finkin and her... If you were to find a Santa I suppose I could repay you in a way that was

outside $500 my sack is pretty full and these billions of sugar plums ain't doing it no more if I'm being honest Hey, hey, hey, get back to work in there. Elves, we're fucking. I've done gone through every elf. Santa, Santa, Santa.

Cut. I need fresh elves or some sort of new crop. Fresh, fresh elves. So we've uncovered a very small, but a very dark grave. Bring me an elf with an unfucked butt to the North Pole now, where there will be No ties. I'm gonna need unfucked elves. Are this whole thing shutting down?

He's like Jimmy Saville now with elves. The more we uncovered what was going on at the North Pole, the more it made horrible sense. Call me Daddy! Get to work. Santa. Do you need Santa to put out another cigarette on your farm? Mrs. Claus is the Galane Maxwell of the North Pole.

Well, we'd love to hire you elves. I had no idea what I was in. for. Thinking about Santa hanging himself with tancel in his fucking cell. But he's just whacking off. Yeah, because it keeps breaking.

With the end of a candy cane, just... He's got a candy cane up his ass tinsle around his neck. Jesus Christ, Santa. Leave me a low. The only way Santa can come now! It's called Picklediclia! Okay, we have to stop. Yep. Not the episode, but this bit.

Sure. you think them Christmas trees get all white. Stop it. That's right. And it's come. Oh, God. Yeah, we really fucked that out. That's terrible.

I think we just broke the podcast. No doubt. If someone's still listening, God does you. Has anybody shaved with themselves right now? It's just Louis. Louis C.K. just turned it up. Yeah. Pretty good.

I never heard. I never thought about elves. Mrs. W.H. Finkin and her little girl disappeared from their home in Atlanta nearly two weeks. weeks ago and to date there has been no trace of them found. A woman's disappearance is a nine days wander to the general public and then it is forgotten. What the actual? What kind of adage is that? You get nine days on a missing mother and girl

and then it's like forget about it. You get a week and two days then they're dead. That's it. That is I love for women. Yeah, that's it. Men stay missing forever. Women are we stopped looking after nine days. we'll make another one don't worry out at the breath Jesus out at the

don't add to the elf care for a cigarette out at the Let me take the stocking off and flush it down the toilet Out at the breath home There is a different tale to tell Jesus Christ Out at the breath home there

though there is a different tale to tell. They're a father and two little girls sit night after night and think and plan ways and means to find out where the wife and mother they want back again so badly is gone. I do want to apologize for the amount of disgusting riffing going on

of this particular story. It was over 100 years ago, but I do agree. They would have been dead by now anyway. Oh yeah, nine days in 1917, you're not surviving that. No, no, I mean over 100 years for us to make fun of it. I'm not...

Oh, yeah. But they're dead also after nine days. Santa can't help you. It's like how long the Coast Guard gives you, and that's women on land. On land in a city. On land in a city, nine days like... With a child.

Well, that's the end of that. Now what. Blowing up women's houses to stop fire after nine days, they are dead to us. Yes. And if they come back, we kill him. Yes, double jeopardy. That's right, double jeopardy. Thank you for yes, ending that. Not a problem.

You can't die from the same crime twice. That's true. And so little Louise Finch, the elder of the two children, has written a letter to the best friend children have. Her father had told her that this friend traveled all over the world, and so reasoned Louise, he must go to whatever place my mama is. and little sister are now. I'm just paying $2 an hour. So she wrote this letter. Dear Santa Claus, if you see my mama and little sister,

please send them home. We all want them for Christmas, your little girl, Louise Finch. Better hope that bitch is in Whoville. Stop. How about a slinky? It's like the pod stars meme. Best I can do is an orange.

And a sack of walnut. He puts a big, huge box under the tree. and it's just a sleek inside. It's just a box. I thought you can play in it. Turn it into a kitchen, little girl. Sorry.

Maybe she's in there. A human size of a box was all we had left. Apologies. Now in retrospect, I do understand how this was so misleading. Santa did find the mom and girl, but he forgot to put breathing holes in the box. They just opened it in their dead.

Oh, dear. Oh, gosh. It's my first year being Santa. Oh, dear. Oh, gosh. I used to play for the White Sox. Oh, gosh. boy.

Oh gosh. So now it is up to Santa to find the mother and little girl who I'm so strange that got away. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Okay. It's 100% on Santa. Once you make a magical quest, that's it.

That's true. I forgot about that. We are deputizing Santa this afternoon. I don't know if I should have a firearm. Shut up, Santa. You're about to go to some dangerous places. This is a bad idea because I feel like. I feel like I might be a sex criminal.

If you're the real Santa, smoke some of this angel dust. Oh, Santa feels wet. Push him off a bridge. If he sinks, he's not the real Santa. Okay?

We all know how this works. This is just... Bury me with my elves. And my boots on, sir. That's right. Let me out. There you go. You're gonna nut, you're gonna come?

Give me out of here. Sure. You like that? All elves are now. All elves are loud. Now Louis C.K. Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

There's a stench. You're not going. You're not going anyone? I got a gift for you. Jesus is great. You want to know what comes in a box? Me. How did you ruin elves?

Like the sweetest little thing. And by the way, I'm just jacking off. They literally just make toys for children. I got a toy for you. Hey, hey, check your boot. Stick you in it. Check your boot. Not in the snow, no one could tell.

Dave's closed the paper. This is over. It's over. It's ball game. I will never return. And as always, it's been a blessed. Any pitch on Pickledickley of the hand? Man.

Think about it. Next episode, we should have. I wanted, I was trying to do. something in my head with... It was hard. I was working on it, too. Foot mouth and hand disease. Is that what it's called? It's an odd disease. No, foot and mouth disease. Foot and mouth disease. I have that every day. No, I don't, I got nothing for pickledicklea of the hand. Well, we're all, we again encourage people to leave it in the comments. What is

Piccleticlia of the hand? Smelodermis? Smellodermis. Go off and work on it. Don't do that. Corey, Hollywood Health. What else can people, your substack? My substack, which is Corey writes for you.com, which is not behind a paywall. You can read and listen to everything for free, although there is an option to give me money, but whatever. You are prolific. Yes. Thank you.

I appreciate that. I do, I write essays. I do audio dramas. I've also created a fictional world called Chickaluki. It's like my own little Lake Wobagon. This past week, the essay that I put out was, it was a, it was a very, it was a very, actually an excerpt from the Chicka-Lookie Times Free Press written by our

editor-in-chief Stumpy Winslow about the time that Dolly Parton came to Chick-a-Luky. So people were really jazzed on that. The audio version will have dropped by the time you're listening to this. There's also a narrative fiction. I'm doing a murder mystery called Here We Rest.

Act 1 is available. Now I'm still working on Act 2. But yeah, Corey Wrights for You.com. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. I think. Absolutely. I think you're supposed to know the where it goes. This is the ramblings of a bad man.

Do you have it all worked out? Do you know who did it in the end? Yeah, I know how it ends. I just haven't written it yet. Yeah. And I also do like bonus podcasts and stuff. There's something that goes up almost at least every day. And I'd like to thank everybody.

This week I was number 16 in the comedy charts. And for reference, and for reference, Jay Moore was 17. So finally got him. Okay. Which also means that it's a broken system because there's no world in which I should be beating Jay Moore at anything. No.

Well, funny. Is that lamp on a chair? Yeah, yeah. Yep. The only place for it. Yeah, he's in Georgia, dude. Well, Corey, thank you for joining us. People should go listen to all of your fucking things.

You are the best. I mean, again, you're the author of the fucking the fart files. That's true. Yeah, like get involved with this guy. I'm prolific. You are prolific. And we're going to try to, we're going to try to, there's an HR meeting

where you try to replace Burns get you a better host Yeah we got we got some great people for you I'd like decent I like Burns but perhaps it's because this is the only

this is the only podcast I've ever done where I literally don't have to do anything like prepare anything and it's a hard work and it's great

yeah now I know how your life has been for years like it's tough fucking dream listen it's not easy to bring out the mind whatever. Thanks, Corey. Go fuck yourself. Stand up. You like that? I didn't know you like that. Go to Gareth Reynolds.com for tickets and

information because Syracuse, I'm coming to you September 17th. Vermont Comedy Club, September 18th and September 19th. Albany, September 20th. East Providence, Rhode Island, September 22nd, New York, sorry, Stanford at the New York Comedy Club, the most confusing thing of all time. The 24th. 25th. I'm in New York. in New York. Springfield, Massachusetts, September 26, two shows, Laugh Boston, two shows, September 27th. Go to Gareth Reynolds.com for tickets and information. See you there, Gareforce.