The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 198 - Henry Tufts

Episode Date: August 12, 2016

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine one of colonial America's first habitual criminals, Henry TuftsSOURCESTOUR DATESREDBUBBLE MERCH

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is a bi-weekly American History podcast. Each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American History to my friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Well it's gonna be about American History. Yes. Boom! Oh me a Coke. Oh me some cocaine. What's happening? You cop? Can you have it to your pockets please? You are a cop. Yeah, I'm a cop. This whole thing has been a sting. I don't have cocaine on me. Almost 200 episodes. You're good. All of it. You're like sting. You're Donnie Brasco of podcasting. Donnie broadcast. Okay. God, do you want to look who to do? I'll do one bottle. People say this is funny.

Not Gary Gareth. Dave, okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is not going to come to tickle you quite good. Okay. You are Queen Fakie of Haight-Up Town. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle. And do what? Pray. Hi, Gary. No. I see Doug, my friend. No. This is the kind of stuff I don't need on the... You don't like this part? No. This is not helpful. June 24th, 1748. Okay. I'm not... AD. I figured. Even I figured. You don't know? I figured. You don't know. Okay. Henry Tufts was born in New Market, New Hampshire. His father was a tailor. Okay. Right away. We know the guys from top, top, top quality people.

Sure. Yeah. Inseamers. He grew up in a town close by called Lee. All seemed normal until he hit the age of 14. Well, that's for most boys. That's when he, quote, exhibited numerous indications of a natural propensity to theft. Okay. Weird. So that's what... That's his adolescence? Yeah. At some point they were like, well, this kid shows all of the clear signs of being... His palms started itching in places they didn't before. I gotta touch that. I gotta take that. I gotta put that in my pocket. Yeah. I gotta put that in my pocket. Oh, yeah. What's going on with you? Nothing. I'm just reading. What's going on with you? Nothing. Why? Put these up in your pocket. Oh, God. These towels feel so good. Oh, everything I

touch. I want to take. Everything I touch. I want to take. I want this gum inside me. Henry stole... My pockets, I mean. What? And other... I'm reading. Okay. You're... I completely... Am I not in the bathroom? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Henry stole apples, pears, cucumbers, and other fruits. I like that. Look, you gotta stay healthy. I like that. He's a juicer. Sounds like he's juicing. He's totally juicing. You have a Vitamix? What's his deal? And he was successful, which just spurred him to steal more. Sure. The Aladdin complex. That's what I'm... How much that stopped you. You were willing to agree until you got halfway through it. I despise it. At some point, it didn't make any sense. Aladdin. You gotta keep one jump

ahead of the bread line. One swing ahead of my sword. I steal only what I can't afford. That's everything. That's racist. No, that's Disney. Are you saying that Arab steal? I'm saying that a la... I'm done. I'm checking out in this one. No more comments here. So one day, he was walking through a farmer's field when he saw a sickle. Okay. Yeah, who doesn't? I mean, sickles are... Sure. Yeah, they're being tossed around everywhere. Yeah. He grabbed it. One of the weirder tools. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Also used by a gentleman named Def. Right. Yep. So weird connotations, associations. Wait, did Def use a sickle? Doesn't he have a sickle? I thought he had a... Does he not have a sickle? I don't think he has a sickle. I think he has like a fucking...

He's got that... He's got like a tall blade. Oh, you're right. He doesn't have a sickle. Yeah, he could easily in his coat. I mean, nobody knows it's under there. Right. Never mind. I was wrong about Def. That's okay. Well... I apologize. A lot of people have said that. Hey, Def, I didn't mean it. I know who you are. I know the stuff you carry. I'll see you soon, Anthony. Show you a sickle, bitch. The worst ever you ever made. He's gonna shout your death date at you. God, that would be horrible. June 20th, 2051. What? I don't know when you're going. That's pretty good, right? So he grabs the sickle and then he hides it in some nearby bushes and then just keeps walking. So he's framing the bush for theft. Yeah, he's up to no good. Yeah. So he sees something instead of taking it. But I guess you can't walk down the street with a sickle back then. Tough thing to justify.

No, it's my sickle. Nobody else's. I found this. Well, you just hold two of them and you're like, it's a bicycle. I did see a guy when I left your house the other day, a guy riding as fast as he could holding a second bike, which is just a beautiful LA moment. My neighborhood. We should have tripwires in my neighborhood just to knock the hipsters over, hipwires. So he hides it in the bushes and then the owner realized the sickle was missing and he immediately thought of Henry, who he had seen walking by the farm. Okay, interesting tactic. He was furious and he stormed over to the Tufts house and confronted Henry's father, accusing Henry of stealing his sickle. Okay. These are just good times. Yeah. Henry, of course, denied it. And everyone argued for some time. But in the end, there was no proof.

And eventually the farmer left and Henry walked away with no punishment. See, theft can be a pretty vicious sickle. Okay. He then waited a year and went and got the sickle out of the bushes. What? The slow play. The fucking crazy slow. He sat on that shit. He sat on it. He bussed a sickle for a year for so long. Yeah, pining in his bed. That's what we call patient. That's what we call patients here on the dollar. Bushing a sickle. Oh yeah. Bush sickling. You know what? Why don't you just bush your sickle for a little bit? Hey, you know, you're coming off a little spicy. Can you just push the sickle for me? Hey, guys, guys, separate. Bush your sickles, your best friends. Look, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna push a sickle here for a little while. Smart, dude.

Just give me just give me a few moments. I'll push my sickle too. Okay. So yeah, so a year and then he sells it. At that point, no one's even thinking about it. And plus now it's probably kind of a shitty rusty sickle. But anyway, he sells it. Okay. I mean, this is this kid's sure it's not a fucking joke. Maybe a mastermind. Perhaps. Henry's next crime, he committed with partners. He and two friends came up with a plan to rip off some cheese and a loaf of bread from a farmer named Stevens. Do you need three brains for that? I would just assume it's really that's probably worse. Look, it's a different time. Right? Yeah, it's the 17 we need numbers. It's the 1700s. So you're the stuff you're stealing is mostly apparently food items. Yeah. And then and then most people are probably

watching over their food pretty good. Right. So you probably need conspirators. Okay. So all right, let me see their plan and then I'll evaluate after they were done. Let me push my sickle for a minute. They planned after they were done with that amazing crime. Should they go to the farmer's fields and take his cucumbers? Wait, the plan is just right. Go ahead. Do they know about grocery stores? Their plan is to take the bread and cheese, bread and cheese first, and then go get cucumbers. Okay. And they're going to do this to in tandem. They're all three of them will be going together. It's a three man plot. Okay. It's like holding up a bank. Okay, gotcha. So this is going to be quite the caper, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Imagine when they go steal the capers. It's on their way over one of

the other kids chickened out and said they could just go to his house and get bread and cheese from his dad. Great, great solution. Can't wait for this one to wrap up right now. But Henry and the other guy were apparently in it for the rush of the crime because they went to the farmer's field and stole as many cucumbers as they could hold. Okay, right. It's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot of cucumbers. Eight. Probably near there. So then all the guys met up again. They met up with the guy who chickened out and they had their cucumbers and he brought the bread and cheese he got from his dad. Okay, so he stole it from home and they stole the farmer's cucumbers. Or he just asked his dad and said, yeah, yeah, we got tons of bread and cheese. For sure. We got a bunch of cucumbers too. We're

bread and cheese family. But but then Henry came up with a new plan, which was to steal from his partners. Ah, the inception plot as they were all sitting there enjoying their. I don't know what do you call it? Just deserts. They're loot. He picked up a small rock and threw it at one of the guys backs. And that guy jumped up freaked out yelling, they're coming, they're coming for us. And then they all ran off all three of them sprinted off leaving the bread and the cheese and the Henry to Henry to and the cucumbers. And they all ran to their different houses. And then Henry doubled back. I was going to set up for a minute. I thought he was like, they are. Yeah, now he Henry himself. Yeah. Oh man, I can't believe they're shooting at you. And he grabbed all the

food and he hid it somewhere else. Okay, sure. He sickled it. The next day, Henry explained to his friends that he had been captured by the farmer. And the farmer was now forcing him to work three days to make up for it. Okay. Then his partners, the other two kids said that they in turn would work for Henry for one day to share in their part of the crime. Okay, like work for him just as like an assistant. Yeah, obviously. Okay, that's yeah, I mean, I guess that's a part of the story I couldn't understand because he's a boy. He's a teenager. But he so he got so they were going to work fairly in these fields, his dad's crops or some sort of he couldn't have them go pull like a day for the farmer because that's all bullshit. So he's just like, right, putting them

out for like, he so he had them do he made them day labor. So yeah, he made them day labor. Right. And he got all the cucumbers in the bread. And I told you he's a mastermind. It's great. I don't think I don't think this is exaggeration when I say this was a simpler time. Yeah, yep. Yeah. So the great cucumber heist, Henry, never forgotten, never forgotten. No. So Henry was clearly a bad boy and could not be trusted. Right. So when he turned 20, he asked his father for a bit of his inheritance. Interesting. I gotta do that. He said it was time for him to strike out on his own. Okay. And his father said no. Interesting. And he told Henry that there was no inheritance, that he planned on giving everything to Henry's oldest brother and everything was just their

family home, their land. Okay. And Henry was devastated. Because his whole idea was to take his inheritance, which didn't exist in right off into the sunset. Right. In actuality, all his father had was a tiny plot of land and he figured if he split it up between all the kids, then all the peace would be worthless. Right. Yeah. Because they're so small. So just give it to one. Yeah. Yeah. Henry's livid. It took it very hard. He had no education and didn't see any future for himself without an inheritance. I'm shocked about this education bit. It seems like he's highly educated. Henry wrote quote, it is written as to said in the Hebrew annuals that the man who gave his neither property education nor trade brought him up to be a thief. The truth of this was verified

in me. So he's blaming his dad. Yeah, he's got daddy issues. He's blaming his dad for not giving him inheritance. Why became a thief? Yeah, well, he didn't give him anything. Well, he just gave him life. Why didn't he just go out and fucking do it himself? True. So Henry decided to be a thief. Okay. Which wasn't a big leap since he was already a thief. Oh, yeah. He was like, you know what? I'm going to be a thief. The thing I've been doing. You know, I'm going to do what I've been doing. The only day I have a ball announcement like a winner was the day I had bread and cheese and 19 cucumbers. Yeah. It's like Liberace being like, I'm gay. We know. Yes, we get it. We get it. You've lived this for 20 years. We get it. At the same time, he thought his father owed him

because of all the work he had done while growing up on the family land. He's really got entitlement title title title title. So at that point, Henry stole his father's only horse and rode it to a nearby town where he sold it for $30. Oh my god. Yeah. It's a prick. He's a total prick. Then he hit the road. Sure. Got to. But it turns out $30 not last that long. Okay. So he roamed around. He would do different jobs trying to keep things going. But finally, he just ran out of cash. So with not any other possibilities, he just went back to his dad and gave him what little money he had left and said, here, I took your horse in here. So here's eight cents. Here's eight cents. There's no horse. Missed me. I missed you daddy. Missed me. His father was naturally furious

but still took him in. Now, this is when things started looking up. Okay. Henry was 22 and he met and married a woman named Lydia Bickford, who was from Durham, New Hampshire. Okay. So maybe he's on the road to a decent life. I doubt it. I highly doubt it. Okay. Yeah, you're right. Very soon after getting married, Henry's accused of stealing two bags of rye. Are you noticing a pattern? A very strong pattern. Very strong pattern. He goes, he thinks very short term. He's not an investor. At no point did he steal cucumber seeds. Okay, but wait. In this case, he was actually innocent and was acquitted of the charges. So he didn't steal the rye. So he didn't steal the rye. But in the community, it was just one more black mark against Henry Tufts.

So the boy who cried wolf, the boy, but they were like, look, you're fucking the boy who cried Q you got away with it, but you clearly stole the rye. Right. You know, so it's like when they convicted OJ of the stuff in Vegas, they were like, we'll take what we can get. What did OJ do? He broke a lot of great football records. Thank you. So in the local community, he's now just the fucking right menace, right? Combined with his previous crimes, his reputation is destroyed. He cannot get any credit anywhere. And his young family went into poverty. He has kids. Yeah, now he's had a popped out a couple or whatever. Oh, boy, I didn't actually look up. But I remember reading yet kids, right? But they I didn't, whatever.

Yeah, okay. Obviously, this is a shit situation. And Henry Tufts being Henry Tufts, decided he'd be much better off if he just took off on his own to start anew without the whole family being a burden thing. Okay, it feels again, it feels like he thinks very quickly. Very short term thinker. He's he's making you know what he's going. This is a guy who's been led by his heart, right? I don't know if that's true. But if he's being he's he's he's doing he lives in the moment might be selfish. This is that they say live in the moment to feel free and to be happy might be self focused. He's living in the moment. I don't know. At this moment, after he closed the door, he no longer had a family. Right, right. True. That's the moment he's living right. Yeah. So I guess a lot of

people just didn't know that was an option. You could just leave. I'm done. Well, back then you could literally just fucking walk out. I'm out of here. Goodbye. No, you were again. So I've been thinking I'm done. It was great to meet you. And have a good life, Hank. Have a good have a fun time with the little ones. Good luck. Whoever whoever they are. They seem crazy. There's a cucumber in the bush. Take care. There's a cute. Ta ta. In the bush. That's what got him into this child problem in the first place. So so off he goes he heads east and he finds himself in sicko main, where he got a job clearing land and tending livestock. Right. All good. Well yeah. I'm just gonna start all over again. I don't know if all good to be sweet. I don't know. He seems to be around stuff.

Which is a problem job. Yeah, but he's it's where he's on land, which is an issue He's working with a guy named James Dennis Okay, and they became friends and Henry explained to him about he was how he was unable to support his family the one He had abandoned I just left him. I don't know if he told him that part. I put him in a bush and I'm gonna come back in a year When I'm good with them again so Dennis came up with this perfect way to get out of the situation. I can't wait. They were rob a store Okay, I mean dare. I say I think this is smarter

They're then stealing food. Well, then just like nickel and like go for a score. Okay. All right You know what I mean shoot a three. Yeah, go higher. Yeah, I get it So the store was owned by mr. Pickard and was in the same town they worked in so it's a great plan It's a great plan. Henry said he's in sure no questions But this is a pretty big jump from his previous crimes, right? He's really stepping up. Yeah He's used to stealing tools and vegetables that he can carry right. This is a move a sickler cucumber sure exactly anything That starts with a C Well sickled starts the point is

They broke into the store in the middle of the night Dennis went in while Henry was the lookout guy That's my favorite thing. It is a great in this time They they needed a lookout guy, but it's also great to be like well one of us has to just chill The other has to do it, right? I guess I'll just keep an eye on your crime I will stay outside while you do the crime. Yeah, you always want to be the getaway driver But Dennis looked around and couldn't find much cash then he made a couple of bags For both of them then bring home So he just packed a couple of bags with a bunch of shit from the store. They're the stuff was worth about 200 bucks

Okay, pretty large some okay, right? So they really they really tore through the store sure Now after the crime they went to Wells, Maine where a friend of Dennis's lived Okay, the friend's name is Richard Dutton. All right They celebrated their score and had a drink or two right so they're partying Yeah, and the next day Dennis and Dutton went into the town not good Don't leave him alone some of the hall. Don't leave him alone. What's gonna happen here? Don't leave him alone But they tried to sell it for way too cheap Right not good at this people immediately suspected

That the goods had been stolen a local magistrate was called and or told them they didn't have Uh-huh. Yeah, but a little a local magistrate was alerted and then two the two guys were arrested. Okay, Dennis and Right leaving Henry immediately squeals great and said he knew about the stolen goods And that on top of that he said that some of it was still at his house Where where Henry was telling our hero is yeah So he's a huge narc. He's like a colonial narc, right, but maybe the first colonial mark, right? Dennis was the next to fall He was interrogated admitted to his role in everything and also told them about Henry

So the local magistrate went to Dutton's house to arrest Henry and when they got there They found Henry in bed having sex with Dutton's wife amazing putting the cucumber in the bush Sickle in the bush more like that is amazing. He's a man of all trades I would imagine police in this time would probably be like let him finish What you're done, sir, we would like to have a word hurry up pump faster, please So they arrested him and they threw him in jail at fall mouth Which today's Portland City of Portland?

He was left in the prison for a couple of months in a cell with Dutton. Oh Oh now I assume they didn't talk about the wife screwing or It was the most awkward self. There's no way, but I couldn't find any information about there's no way Something that happened. No, he was just like cool. She sound yeah I mean look it sounds like you guys have a good thing going the foundation strong. Yeah. Yeah, that's what matters. Yeah Yeah, you know pretty great. Also try doggy style. What's that? It sounds like you guys have a good foundation, right? And you know, I think you guys have trust and that is so important in a relationship to build upon that trust

And I think she likes it from behind probably which will probably open things up for you a little bit What yeah in a sort of sexual way. Well, I don't know. I don't we don't need sir I still call you sir as you should I don't need opening. We don't I our relationship is fantastic And what I'm saying is I agree with you. I agree with you Just try it on all fours a couple times see what happens. Why would I because she wants it you can tell I'd love to meet her Excuse me. You can tell you did meet her. You were at my house. I did didn't I so weird. That's right Yeah, that's right. That's right when the cops came. I was there with her. Yeah, I was there with her and Yeah, I don't even God. I just had such a great time talking to

to her and Yeah, I just like you guys have a great thing and I don't I love it. I think you guys are great. I Can't believe this is the first day. We're in this jail together. I know give me a long couple of who knows how long we'll be in here At some point they couldn't take prison anymore, so they decided to escape Isn't that everyone now? They lit a fire in their cell. I just missed this era We were like and it sounds like it would mess stuff up But well, they assumed that it would burn the wall down

And then they would go out a log cabin jail hole in the Jail, what is the jail made of wood? I'm sure it's wood back then wood jail Okay, but the fire had other ideas and it spread very quickly and was soon out of control in the cell part of the thing with fire Right. It's sort of just can do its own thing. Yeah, but the wall you think it would go wall to wall to wall, right? And what did it do it went wall to ceiling? It went why it sounds like it went to wall to everything wall to everything interesting Well, where's move so Henry wall to Henry Henry and Dutton just started screaming at the top of their lungs as The fire just burned their entire cell by the time they were let out They had nearly suffocated to death good plan the local authorities then battled the fire for three hours

Finally putting it out, but the jail could no longer hold anyone So authorities decided to move them to the old York jail But it was bad timing because Thanksgiving was near. Okay, and with this in mind the authorities put Henry and and Dutton under guard with a mister Mowley and his family until after the holiday wait they what? They gave Go ahead

So it's Thanksgiving's coming up. I'm aware so they don't want to take them over to the take that the trip that would probably take the time to Sure miss Thanksgiving. Yeah, you don't want to miss the cranberries. So they they They put him in with a guy in town. They said you guys stay with him stay in a man's house Yeah with his family for Thanksgiving. Well, that's the cool thing is that yeah, he He they had Thanksgiving at this house. I okay, there's it's a different time. Yeah, it is a different time It's a terrible plan and not to mention putting them around food It's just like talk about I mean this is just this is what Henry must have been like. Oh my god This is a test quote

Here gratitude obliges me to give testimonial to the humanity and benevolence of that gentleman to whom is due my peculiar thanks for using us While left in his family as well as I have a sense of fared in any part of America So he had a nice holiday. Mm-hmm. They had they had a great holiday Sure, then back to jail once it's over and then the day after they're taken, you know escorted to the old York Jail well one of it. Okay, because as they're being taken to jail Let me let me guess got out of his irons and took off. Oh, I was gonna guess Henry booked it. So now that he's escaped Right, they're gonna take it out on Henry and when they got Henry to the new jail

They put him in heavy irons and locked him in the most secure part of the jail, which is the the basement And he stayed like that for 19 days So he's just locked in this terrible place, right then mr. Pickard who owned the store the Henry of Robb Yeah, came to the jail And he explained that if Henry agreed to serve on his brother's ship to the West Indies Hey, I have a crazy proposition. Well, this is when they're Shanghai and dudes, right? Yeah, it wasn't uncommon to To you know trade a prison term for time on a ship. Okay, right? So he says that and of course Henry's like yeah, I'll fucking get on your brother sure and go to the West Indies

And then the charges will be dropped. So sure enough Voyage supposed to be three months. Oh, how long is he supposed to be in jail? Well, that's just it. He didn't know how long he was gonna be just because he what he hasn't been convicted yet He's still waiting for his trial. So he's sitting there leg irons and he's like, yeah, let's do it. Let's do it Let's support it. So he's immediately released and he and mr. Pickard walked off to put Henry on the ship I can imagine we're wrapping things up right now headed to the ship now Pickard was a moron Because he decided as they were walking and he needed a drink and he stopped at a tavern what

And he told Henry to go ahead without him and he catch up Why doesn't he just tie him to like the horse thing in front? Henry then made a right instead of a left and that's the last time he ever saw a pick. Well, that is unbelievable That is a shock you not trust a man's word. How much do you need to drink? You know what? You promise you promise promise you swear to God you'll go there. I swear to God. I'm going to the ship Why would I do anything else? That's what I'm saying. Thank you. I mean you got me out of jail That's why you better not screw me on this. Why would I do that sir? Good wonderful wonderful person turn right? Yes? to the ship yes

All right. Have a good three months. I see it it all right Heard something at the end. Nope Sort of bye Bye-bye Right not left So Henry Of course goes back to his wife and family his wife. Okay in Lee. Okay Good news, honey

But once again, he found pretty much everyone in the town thought he was garbage, right? Yeah His reputation was far worse than when he had left previously because he abandoned his family when he previously left because his reputation was bad Yeah, so now he's back like hey double worse. Yeah So the gossip of all of the activity since he left has reached the town and then things got really bad One night a group of super drunk soldiers were passing by his house Never a good start and they decided to quote pull his house apart Now it's a different time pull it apart. Yeah, they're just gonna tear it down find a loose string and yank it He tried to hold them off by waving his musket, but they kept at it. So he shot

Okay, but nothing came out. Okay, it quote snapped in the pan But that was enough to scare off the soldiers and they ran away without knocking down his house God Now like any quality individual Henry decided this was another reason not to be saddled with the family and took off again Right seems like he's not really invested in the family. I mean this but talk about the go the kids are like dad I love you. I'm back guys. Oh some soldiers try to came by. I know we were scared, but you just got back I know I love you. I love you. Okay. I'll be outside

forever Outside's big wait. He's gone. Yeah, I heard him say yeah As he wrote around the countryside he met a man named James Smith together that seems a little normal name Together they formed a crime duo. They stole finally hens turkeys sheep and other food from farmers So they wouldn't starve to death. So they're just stealing living there. I mean live stock. Yeah, okay. That's all there was That's great though. I'm sure they're a can all right. Let's go grab this sheep and get out of here They're probably they probably had a You know when they it's called we like can pairs. It's in a jar with a little top

They probably had that kind of oh, you mean there's I would imagine maybe they didn't but There had to been I mean, I'm sure they had dried meats and stuff. Yeah, they had some stuff Right. I just kind of like the idea that they have like a pet for a little while. They had a pet for a little while Yay, they were able to live like this for quite some time problem was their clothes started to fall apart and they needed other basic necessities If you're okay. Yeah, you need it's time to make a trip. Thank you. The clothes are falling apart. Thank yeah They're chipping off of me. That's when you do something different. Yeah Now one of Smith's friends told him that they could just break into a local store and rob it. He knows that Since robbing a store at Gunswell for Henry the first time he was in of course and so they did

They broke in through a window that the friend had told them about Uh-huh, and they took clothes money pieces of silver and other goods that would help them with their new nomadic lifestyle Okay They gave a cut of the goods to Smith's friend who had told them about the store and how to get in right Then they got the hell out of town heading towards Massachusetts. Okay, when they got there they started selling what they had stolen Okay But what they did not know was that the two store owners Gilman and Chapman were pretty pissed off and were in pursuit Oh boy, and they caught up to Henry and Smith in a town and surprised them and they were easily easily able to have them arrested

Right. It turns out Smith's friend The guy who told him to rob the store and had a rob the store and who had given they'd given a cut to For not really doing shit. Yeah had gone all snitch and just tipped off the owners about this is before bitches got snitches Stitches way before right got stitches. Okay So Henry and Smith were put in jail in Exeter Because of his reputation Henry was considered a more hardened criminal and was placed in so he's like the Henry is like the 1760s version of The head of the Mexican Mafia. Yeah, what's his name?

What's the dude's name? He's the best. Yeah, they're just like you will not break god damn it. He's gone gone again so I'll chop over so he's put in solitary confinement in a dungeon in the prison Heavily shackled again both hands and feet which were then attached to the floor. Oh, it's just a nightmare The home is completely. I mean the home the room is completely dark. He made it a home. He did make it home And there's I put up a poster and there is like zero interaction. Oh god I want to put up the poster of the cat that's just hanging there. He's holding on to a brand something motivational Also, could someone itch my ass, please for the love of God, please

So he's not even convicted yet. This is just waiting for the trial fun There's a horrible odor in the room along with rats that bit at his toes. Sure hardly any decent food Oh, that I mean that really rats. Yeah, that's a tough one for me to think of the rat rats biting your toes and only And just having to be like go to your happy place, Henry So do your happy place just remember when you stole the sickle Henry go back there Just pretend those rights are eating your cheese foot think about the cucumbers and me mother rats like Mm-hmm. Hey guys, I don't think this dude can do shit. No, no, no, just okay sickle in a bush So he's having a hard time sleeping. Why he was left like that for three months

Yeah, at which point he was brought into the courtroom for his trial and the two men were very quickly found guilty They both got 35 lashes. Okay, it should be done by another prisoner. That's how they did it back then Oh, so it was sort of like a equally angry, right? So you've got to impress you've got like it's almost like you're you're a good prisoner if you lash them well Yeah, I assume so yeah some sort of They were ordered to pay restitution if they could not pay the restitution They would then be sold into servitude. Oh shit. It's fucked up. Jesus. She's fucked up Meanwhile slaves are like and

What else? So they both got 31 days in prison But this time Henry's put into a regular cell for his run, okay, so that's not too bad, right? But said Henry didn't like prison He showed about Henry so instead of waiting the entire month. He decided to escape good Get the fire Somehow he got friends to smuggle him in tools I mean obviously hot dogs and birthday cakes. That's what I'm talking about. It's his birthday again. Yep four days in a row

That's right Happy birthday. Here you go Henry. This one is shaped like a sludge hammer. I know he loves tools loves tools. Oh my god What do you guys use for batter so Henry used Henry drilled a hole in the wall now Smith was in the cell so some serious tools Yeah, Smith is in the cell directly beneath Henry and he asked Henry if he could you know take him on the escape, right? And Henry agreed So the next night in the middle of the night Henry told Smith That to get out they would have to take off all their clothes. Oh turn them inside. I've fallen for this one and toss them out the window

Um what? Okay Oh Why they did it and then Henry crawled through the hole he had made picked up his clothes and Smith's clothes and ran away Hey Henry those are actually my shorts Henry those are much Henry Henry. Oh, this is gonna look bad. I feel like it's gonna be some explaining Why am I naked? Hi, can I tell you a crazy story? Oh, it's just have you heard of jail clothes fairies? So They're around my clothes That's hot. It's hot. It's hot and I decided

To take off all my clothes because I was hot like I said before yeah Yeah, through them down to the ground Say what's in Henry? I'm cold I'm called now Once again, Henry's on the move this time. He ended up in Portsmouth, but couldn't get a prick couldn't get anything Why didn't he just say no now you can't come with me just fucking amazing? Well, remember the last place they robbed they robbed because they needed clothes, right?

He's now thinking at all just get some extra clothes But I Really that dude left behind was like it's gonna be really weird dude. Don't do this So he headed for a town called Stratham and in the middle of the night he's walking and he gets really hungry Eat the clothes and for every reason he assumed Fruit was being stored on someone's property close by in a root cellar. He saw this thing and he thought that's a root cellar There's got to be fruit in there, right? That's what happens at root. He thought it was a fruit cellar. We'll root fruit roots Huh fruit roots. Oh, I love fruit lives. So he felt around in the dark

He broke in he felt around the dark and found a box and then he found another box And at some point in the pitch black he realized that they were coffins and then he'd broken into a crypt instead of a root cellar Get out Uh, no, yeah inside. There's actually a grandmother and her daughter. He was Terrified but he got the hell out of there. Okay, good. I thought we were maybe gonna take a weird turn where he's like, maybe I'll just grab an arm Yeah, so since things didn't seem to be going great on his own he partnered up with another criminal Mastermind cool Ebenezer Hubbard. Thank you. This this was not the best. Thank you. I'm duo's. Thank you They weren't having any success trying to steal things. So finally Henry was like I'm going my own way

This isn't fucking working and Hubbard talked him into one last One last near miss They were gonna break into a mill and steal some milled cloth. It'll be the last caper and they did it Okay, they fucking did it but as soon as the crime was discovered authorities immediately thought Henry Henry and Hubbard, right They were brought in in question and in no time as you would expect Hubbard immediately Caved it spilled the beach sure. Yep snitched. Yep told them everything great Henry was brought back to Henry needs a better vetting process. It's just a fucking cheese not good So Henry's brought back to Exeter jail. He was given 20 lashes and locked up for 20 days

He was also ordered to pay back the victim the rats were like good news Boys guess who's back in town. Hey to friend. Mmm. I'm numb numb numb numb So he's already payback convenient victim, but he has no money, which meant he would be put into servitude Okay, but lucky for him No one came forward to claim his servitude which meant he was allowed to leave like no one bit No one everyone's like I don't want that guy. He looks shitty and like he's not good at stuff Once out of jail he went right back to burglary perfect He got burglary tools like auger saws and false keys and these he put he put the tools in different locations around town

Sure, this way various pushes. He would have quick access to them when he needed them, right? And he was very very very proud of his false keys quote. What are those? I don't know just when judiciously fashioned are of such extensive application That one key will fit a great variety of locks. Okay, I am positive that with this assortment of keys I could have opened without violence almost any lock I ever saw this I am assured by experience, which is indeed the touchstone of truth It's just adorable that there was a time when we were like we have eight types of keys be honest, right? Yeah, that's what it was Yeah

Henry also got his hands on Corrosive liquids that could eat through iron So he's in business. Yeah, he's fucking but then Henry He had to deal with what he called a serious of false accusations against him for the crime of burglary Mm-hmm one of which landed him in Castle Island in Boston Harbor first Bell Castle Island Now where he man lives a prison. Yes He did his time and he got out and then immediately resumed his life of crime great Then it's like he's going to always go back to crime. It doesn't I don't think yeah

There's not a lot of reforming right. I mean his dad didn't hug him like he said Then in 1793 when he was living in Massachusetts, Henry bought a silver Table spoon and five teaspoons from a man named James John Stuart. Oh, not that one. Oh Stuart said he found them when he was clearing a cellar Okay How do you was using the spoons one day when a neighbor? recognized them Okay, I'm gonna repeat that

Henry was using his spoons and a name when someone recognized the spoon sure someone right now. I know those spoons I've seen those spoons. He's those spoons. I've been stolen from him. Okay. He reported Henry to the authorities in Court Henry explained how he had bought the spoons. I bought these spoons exactly what he did Stuart was then brought in for questioning. Oh, they were gonna get to the bottom of the spoon caper They were just starting to question Stuart when he just got up and ran out of the courtroom and was gone I a lot of people don't know that's an option But it is your legal right that if you are able to run out of the courtroom without being touched You are you are legally allowed to leave the courtroom. He was never seen again. Again. I mean just talk about

Can you repeat the Now it's believed that Stuart had helped from the sheriff who hated Henry anyway and now Henry had no witness About legally buying the spoons, right and Henry was committed to Salem jail to wait trial by the Supreme Court The child did try to not go a spoon trial. Yes Okay, without Stuart telling the court the Supreme Court used to not have a lot to do the they were dealing with Much smaller crimes, but very important to certain people spoons Well, the spoon community was up in arms. Obviously as they should be as they should I mean the spoon union the association of spoons

The spoon you the spoonion was over the I mean they were over the spoon about this So without we are the spoonion We are here for justice, sir. We want medical and we want to know what our spoons are We are the association of spoons Ah, yes, we're also very interested in spoons. We have medical if you need for German Spoon people, but the most of all we want justice So he was convicted of burglary over spoons that he bought of spoons The judge gave Henry a sentence of death. Oh my god

Well back then burglary was you could be killed for that I'm not crazy for freaking out when you say a man's dying for spoons Quote spoons. He must be carried from thence to the place of execution and they're hanged by the neck Intel dead The execution date was set for six weeks On August 14th 1793. So Henry sat in a cell in heavy chains waiting to die Over spoons he bought then one jurist who had been a holdout at first Start have second thoughts about sending a man to death for stealing spoons Mm-hmm. He had originally voted not guilty, but the other jurist had convinced him to switch

Mm-hmm. So the jurist went to the governor and The council and expressed his regret and his true belief He begged them to show Henry mercy at the same time Henry asked the governor to change his sentence To life in prison from death. Mm-hmm knock it down from five spoons to three. He yes, right? He asked others he knew to sign a petition asking the court to do the same sure a spoon petition Spanishin spinachin And then one day a doctor came to visit Henry, uh-huh quote

Who accosted me with an affability and good nature not always to be expected from a stranger? So this guy shows up. He's being super nice sure And they talked for a while and then the doctor explained why he was there He wanted Henry's skeleton. Oh God and offered a couple of guineas and other favors for it Oh, that's it takes an awkward because it's a doctor because that was the time with doctors bodies But apparently they were also going to the guys who are about to be killed me like I have your stuff It has been great to sit down and talk to you Henry you seem like a very sort of bright individual I just I'm really taken

anyway, um To the point of my visit. Yeah I'm willing to pay you guineas for your Skeleton Yeah, who's who what I'm gonna buy your some want to buy your skeleton. Oh, no I'm using for now, but you won't soon and when you don't want to come on No, don't be weird. Oh, don't be weird about this. You're fucking creep. I'm not Henry Henry

Are you enjoying your tea? Yeah, it's good. Isn't it? Yeah, it's English Imported only the best. Yeah now No, when your skin's off I Want the bones. I'm trying not to think about I want the bones. Jesus. Give me the bones out of here. Don't be weird Another guy came and offered Henry $75 For a license to publish Henry's life story Okay, you know, this is the

Colonies the two offers your fielding. This is like this is like the colonies version of Main Street, right? Henry said he wasn't in the best mindset to provide a narration of his life I'm kind of in a weird headspace because I'm gonna die and doctors are trying to buy my bones Yeah, things are weird here. It's not normal right now The guy said he already knew enough about him to write up his story Henry obviously didn't need money since he was going to die. So he said he'd think about it and get back to him Henry that spoke to someone else and he turned down the book offer and held on to ownership of his life story Coming very handy when he's dead. You don't know what's gonna happen, which he started writing

Okay, from which a lot of this information came for sure. Okay Then a month before Henry's to be killed an order came to transfer him to Castle Island in Boston Harbor. Okay, where he was to be confined for life. Oh, better better So they switched it up. The petition and the rogue jurist had worked All for spoons that he didn't. Mm-hmm steal. Mm-hmm. Although Historical records might not back up the claims of Henry that it was just about the spoons hmm During the tiny was arrested for stealing the spoons. Henry had been using the burglary tools to burgle

He had been breaking into businesses and houses and had also been accused of passing counterfeit currency a few of which he was arrested for So while he said he was innocent of stealing the spoons He was looking at multiple counts of theft and they were said to be dozens of witnesses ready to testify against him So the conviction of the spoons was just like look you're fucked. Yeah, we've got you on something It's like when they put away. Yeah, they would like now capone for like something stupid, right? Yeah Burglary was a capital crime, but it was only used for repeat offenders, which he certainly would have been If convicted of the other charges and also all the charges here, right? Yeah And he was at this point considered beyond reform as much as he repeatedly said he was imprisoned for life because of spoons

He didn't steal. He was actually in for spoons. I stole spoons, which I didn't steal spoons I'm in a city stealing spoon. I stole spoons After receiving his reprieve Henry's committed to Castle on a Boston Harbor Was this selly in there for like ladle theft he He described he described in details new setting. I'm in for pie cutters The castle was a strong fortress at the entrance into the harbor's mouth a company of soldiers was stationed there to guard the criminals Convicts were employed in making nails

Mm-hmm, and would be beaten for being too slow Okay, they didn't make their nails fast sounds fun The prisoners were always lying cheating fighting and stealing from each other, right at the end of each day Henry would sleep on the prison floor with a tattered rug or blanket for warmth The food contained quote Bollocks heads Bollocks heads. I gotta be bugs, right? Oh god. I meant to look it up, but then Bollocks heads It's one of those things you can't really find And he had difficult he had difficult times swallowing the food. Oh, then can I have a spoon?

No Love spoon when Henry when every broke his arm one day. No doctor came to help him. So he just let it heal as it was Sure, that's always actually a fair policy. Just let it set itself. Yeah, those always turn out normal. It'll fix itself Yep, but a summer of 1794 Henry had gained the trust of the guards He was able to move freely around the island and on the 4th of July. Oh boy He casually walked to the edge of the sun of a bitch whistling. I assume of course Covered his head one t-rexed arm covered his head with grass Go ahead tried to swim away

So people be like, what is that grass there? Look at that divot floating. There seems to be grass in the ocean Oh boy, but he was a mini island that he was seen by a soldier in a tower Getting into the water and they went and pulled him out awkward It's hey Hey, hi, what's up? Have you seen my new to pay? I was um, I Was I like water. Can I ask you guys a question about the rules? Am I allowed to swim out here if I have grass on my head? I felt like I was able to take a couple laps I saw that in the room. I thought in somewhere someone said something, but I I forgot to get the okay

Yeah, but I thought it was okay. Anyway, you know, it isn't it isn't okay. Jerry said this was okay Now that I know that it isn't okay I I'm not gonna happen again In 1798 the island was Transferred from the state to the federal government the convicts were moved and Henry found himself in the Salem jail He quickly found a problem with the wall of his cell and escaped beautiful He went back to his hometown of Lee and there found his family had no domain. No, no, Henry. No, no He tracked them down. No and was taken back in and

promised he would never steal again she she The family took him back in love is strong. His kid was like, what is your deal? I'm really damaged now. Daddy. I have a question. Are you fucking kidding me? No, son He learned that one of his old partners James Dennis had died while trying to escape from prison He had chains on his arms and legs and jumped into a river only to discover He couldn't swim with chains on his arms and legs Hmm. That's you learn you get to learn that once. Yep

in Maine Henry Tufts wrote and releases autobiography in which Called fuck you everyone said he was retired from his life of crime and that was the last anyone heard of Henry Tufts, how do you publish a book because he's still on the lamb? Yeah, but you can publish it. You can still publish a book. That's like hey, hey, hey. Yeah, why not? I mean, I think that he didn't say where he was probably so they just and So he just was all said it was out there as a book the government must have been like, god damn it Or they didn't fucking care at that point. They're like just get the fuck out of here, dude. Stop You such a tough stop. You're the worst

Tufts That's where such a Tufts came from. Ah, and is that what Tufts University is named after exactly what I thought so I thought it might be Story of Henry Tufts listen. I like his diet You know Life was different. Are you sure? It's all I'm gonna say, okay Crime was clearly different. We've we've improved our crime sure. Oh, yeah, we've done this one We've done wonders much better much better than Bush sickling. Yeah

Okay, so cars. Oh we sign Carrots hmm. We signed carrots interesting You're just vamping now so you can plug it in because we don't have an end yet. No, that's the end. Oh, it's done. Yeah, okay Like Oh, yeah, that was an hour