The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 204 - The Real Crocodile Dundee (Live in Australia)

Episode Date: September 5, 2016

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynold are joined by Wil Anderson for a live episode recorded at the Anthenaeum Theater in Melbourne.  Modern Bushman and inspiration Rod Ansell is examined.  SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

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beautiful like a man who just built paradise. It's actually not Gary I don't know. Don't help. Don't help me please. Want to say a couple of things before we start. Sit down sir what the fuck. What the fucking unbelievable Jesus Christ. Did you guys not see the time on the ticket? So many beers look at my god I had to get nine beers. How the fuck is he holding him on one hand? I think we had to get 35 beers for the show. That's the most Australian thing I've ever seen. Five fucking beers he's like I don't need two fucking hands for this. He's got like the warrior bottle fingers. That was

insane. It's a deep cut. So the movie tickled here just opened. Yes so please go see it. It is fucking awesome. Relive episode three or whatever that was. It is so amazing. And then you guys I run the Los Angeles podcast festival and and you guys we do a live stream. So you here in Australia can watch the shows all weekend in your whatever you want to wear like sit there in your socks. Absolutely taking a turn. Completely completely just let it all hang out. All right well go to LApodfest.com and and you can put in the code dollop or TOEFA and I'll get you five bucks off. Trust me it's totally worth it. If I go home tonight and

there's no sales fuck you guys. Horrible. I'm a good salesman. Not terrible salesman. And then I want to announce this is for the people at home in America. We're going to US tour. Tickets will be for the Patreon people will go link will go out on Wednesday. Sure. Yeah absolutely. It's gonna be San Francisco Seattle and Portland. The only good cities in America. You guys have been there. The rest of this shit. Yeah. Those are my things. Great. Your things are fantastic. Ladies and gentlemen let's welcome our guest will Anderson that I love that first bit because that was the sound of a thousand people going how do we skip this. Yeah.

That's why people are like hey man when you come into Australia yesterday. How would I know that. Don't skip that part. Fair point. Yeah. We're also on Facebook. What the hell's happening. Are we just going to go through all the social media as well. I would like to thank Adam Bailey who did research for me for this episode. Just like it was so not natural. Like you guys were like I guess there's going to be a pause here. Well you didn't like you because there was a bit of a mystery behind it like we're like is it here. Yeah. And he's here and there'd be a spotlight. But there's an empty seat right there. Is that where Adam

was meant to be. That's another thing is he died. All right. So I guess I guess the sequence you went in is incorrect a little bit. Dedicated to. He was out on the street and there's a street car come by his channels were hanging out. And he got. Then there sister. Hi my name is Dave Anthony and you're listening to the dollop. This is a bi weekly. Yeah. American History Podcast. Each week I read a story from American History to my friend. Gareth Reynolds and Will Anderson who have no ideas what the topics are going to be about. Too many pluralizations probably. You could lose two S's on that. Didn't we didn't go great. Huh. We should

start over. I was going to say something else. I don't remember what it is. Flappers. Are you going to be at Flappers. Do you have a date coming up. I mean also by the way. Flappers just got a little chewed on their back and what fucking happened. Yes it's become a bit of a situation. Well. It's awkward now. Thank you sir though for fueling the fire. We all appreciate it over here at Flappers. October 1st 1954. In the small town. We're going to fuck this up right away. In the small town of Murgon. To Shay David. Queensland. It's actually. Is that one wrong. What do we just do. I don't know. I think Queensland. Have you guys ever read the fucking. Here we go.

Queensland. Queensland. Please let. You guys need to get the fuck over it. You're fucking. You know there's actually an article written in a paper that was like Austrians are weird about language. It was written by day. Everyone else people say something and you go yeah they're from another country. Not you guys. Well at least you guys didn't keep me on that island. It's actually Iceland. They're going to be sticklers. Georgian Eva Ansel had their third child. He was blond. Blue eyed and they named him Rodney William Ansel. Rodney was a smart child who spent most of his time barefoot. Sure. Doesn't seem that abnormal. Run around barefoot. It's the

50s. It was the pre shoe era. All Australian children used to wear no shoes and smoke cigarettes. It was the 50s man. I burned my feet again. He was not really school oriented. That's not his thing. He would often blow off his studies and instead collect boxes of silkworms and care for his many pet wallopies. I'm a fan. This guy's got it going on. That's not good. Rod left his family at the age of 15 still as far as I can tell. Classic Australian. And moved to the Northern Territory where he learned the skills of being a cattle catcher. Sure. Absolutely. Do you know what catching a cattle is? I mean a lot of

people think the catching bit's the hard bit but it's actually throwing it that is much more difficult. People don't appreciate it. Once it's in the air all you have to do to catch it is get under it. But actually getting a cow into the air that's the fucking tricky bit. But it's always the fucking cow catcher against all the fucking credit. Not the fucking cow pitcher. I mean I'm not gonna argue with any of that. I grew up in a farm. I got all these ones for it. Did you have shoes? Yeah it was the 70s. All right. Very progressive. Platforms but shoes. Catching cattle by hand is a rather difficult process that involves approaching the

animal and wrapping its tail around your hand then faking one way and another until the now angry animal tries to shake you off and trips over itself and falls down. There's got to be a better way. We did this thing in America called the lasso. Yeah. Wrap it up and you take it down but not here. He's down. There's gonna be a lot of trial and error with that too. We're like well okay if you just grab his tail that's not enough. My fucking head. He really trampled me. So Rod became very good at dealing with animals and he spent the next few years working as a cattle catcher on different cattle stations and

Aboriginal missions. What's a cattle station? It's just like a ranch? Yeah. That's where you put gas in them. What's a what? Yeah that's where you fill them up with milk. A lot of people don't know that. You have to actually fill the cows up first. If you want skim or regular. Yeah. Change the udders every thousand feet if you want longevity. That's the trick. You gotta rotate them. Yeah absolutely rotate the udders. In May of 1977, now living in Western Australia, Rod decided to take a fishing trip and told his girlfriend that he would quote, be back in a few months. Cool normal stuff. I mean that's... I mean he's it's a serious fishing trip. Yeah he's a lot of fishing. They call him Fishing Rod. You won. What a run. What a run. You won. Now everyone who knew Rod knew exactly what he was

actually up to. He was going to poach crocodiles, which is illegal and punishable by a $2,000 fine or six months in jail. Or getting eaten. Well then you don't have to worry about the jail part. It's true. Unless you're just like part of you. Like if part of you is gone, you still have to worry about it. We sentence your legs to death. No I mean your legs can't live on their own time. Like if your legs were gone, the rest of you would go to jail. You're going to get out no problem. You'll sneak out of those bars. You're like the little Asian guy in Ocean's Eleven. I mean I didn't know what you were talking about and then the way you brought it to life. Because I remember Ocean's Eleven, I remember there was a guy that kept shrugging. Dave, this guy. Dave, this guy. I'm in the box. Remember? So Rod prepared well for his journey.

He stocked an 18-foot boat with supplies, took along two dogs for company, and brought a 12-foot dingy in case of an emergency. Rod took off and went up the estuaries of the Fitzmoorys. You don't fucking care. On his fishing trip and looking forward to a few months of solitude and relaxation. Then he was thrown from his boat to quote, It was pretty quiet and something heaved up under the boat and threw me in the pups and all my stuff in the water. It is not known exactly what caused this incident, but Rob will later say it could only have been a whale. I reckon the dogs saw some shit they didn't like and threw him over the boat. Do you know what I mean? The two of them have just gone, fuck this guy. We can take this boat. There's two of us. There's one and a half and a dingy.

I mean it's pretty, you know, freshwater river whales are pretty common. That's the thing about a river whale is that there's not much room for them, so you're going to get knocked over. I mean it's essentially hitting a rock. So the boat was ruined and Rod retrieved his dingy, then grabbed a tin of powdered milk which he used to scoop the water from the dingy. He got a tin of powdered milk and emptied it out and used it to scoop the water out of the dingy so it could be in the dingy. For the next four days, Rod and his dogs floated in the dingy around the estuaries before finally paddling up an entrance to the river. So now Rod was stranded with only a swag, rifle, knife and a can of peas and a box of wet matches and his dogs. Cool. What else do you need?

That's how I would go in the first place. Yeah, wet those matches. I needed my peas, really. On the fifth day, he landed the dingy and made camp on the bank of the river. Rod found a nearby source of fresh water, but the very high temperatures were making him sweat quite a bit, which was depleting his body's needed salt. Doing as any person would do in this situation, Rod shot a wild cow and sucked blood from its neck. Absolutely. That's your plan A. It doesn't always come to fruition, but the first thing you want to do is vampire a cow neck. Suck it dry.

They're salty. Everyone knows that. All the salt's in there. You know it's weird when the dogs are like, what the fuck is he doing? I don't want to be with this guy. This can't end well. When I was a kid, we actually didn't have salt. We just had a cow on the back. You want some pepper? Cow blood? Like seasoning? There's nothing like fresh cow blood. He then shared the meat with his dogs, so he had, yeah, that was nice. He'd sit there to eat in front of them and go, fuck off. Get your own.

That was one of the dogs. You guys, I did tons of accents. Sorry. In this country, it's pronounced baaack. Fuck. You mean fook. Okay. I just want you to get it right. So he has food now. So he's eating a cow with his dogs.

He has food. He had water. And now he just needed to figure out his next move. I thought I'd sit it out there and wait until the wet came in October. Then I'd have a chance to follow the wet season water holes down to Vic, as long as I didn't get too weak. I built sort of a tree house. By tree house, he meant he threaded some saplings through the fork of a tree to create an elevated platform for sleeping.

Nice. It being Australia, a large tree snake also lived in the tree. It's fun. It's like the Jungle Book. Yeah. Good time. Did I sing it? The snake is really good to get him to lie in front of the door to prevent braces coming. Could you possibly?

The toilet's rocky. He's living like the Flintstones. It's really handy to have. My dishwasher's an octopus. Hi. Welcome to Cribs. Who controls the fish? Who controls the fish? Aquaman.

Aquaman controls the fish. Spoilers. You weren't on that episode of Tofa. No, but thanks for making me feel so left out. Occasionally, the snake would come down to check out Rodney's dogs, but for the most part, they stuck to their own parts of the tree. What? He's sharing a tree with a snake? It's Australia.

It's dangerous. Try to not do that living in a tree. That's fair. Now they're crocodiles. Also, the snake is living in the tree but not with them, so he's kind of like Kramer. He just pops over to cause a fucking mess. Rod, you're not going to believe what happened. Here we go, wacky snakes here.

All right, so there's crocodiles in the river, so Rod... There's crocodiles in the river. He's eating cow neck and his roommate's a snake and dogs. 100 million times. So he's constantly on the lookout, right? Every once in a while, crocodiles would come out of the water because they smelled the dogs, and Rod would have to climb up the tree with his dogs to stay safe. He began to vary his daily schedule to minimize the chances of crocodile learning his patterns.

That's sensible. Most crocodiles catch their prey off of patterns. I don't know what to think. He's eating dinner for breakfast. This guy is just... I don't know if we can attack this guy. His routine does no routine. He has no schedule.

Good God. Head off to him, though. He's an enigma. What a pickle this guy is. Unbelievable. Dogs smell good, though, huh? Ooh, man, did you get one of those doggies? Oh, man.

In the first week there, he shot four wild buffalo. Oh, yeah? Jesus. He could lick a whole thing. He skinned each animal before he cut strips of flesh off, and then would hang the meat in the sun to drive for several days. That'll keep the crocs alive. What is that? I smelt off.

Oh, I've just made a wall of meat. Now, remember, stick to your area. I'm gonna have brunch at 9 p.m. What is he doing? Is it possible that this is all just a lie because he went back like he took three months off and his girlfriend was like, where the fuck were you, Rod?

And he was like, honey, you won't believe it. I lived with crocodiles. I built a house of meat with dogs. And I want you to meet Bob, my snake. I'm kind of like a wacky Kramer type. So, right, so he'd hang the meat in the sun to drive for several days. This is what he ate either as it was

or by boiling it first. He also spent a lot of time foraging for wild foods. He found wild berries. One day, a 16-foot crocodile came after his dogs, and Rod was forced to shoot it, forced. The crocodile. The guy who was going crocodile hunting was forced to shoot it. To be honest, it feels weird.

Saying he was shooting everything else, he hadn't thought of shooting the crocodiles up until this point. I don't think they're bulletproof. He's trying to think these things have flesh. He did not want the smell of the crocodile to attract other crocodiles, so he disposed of the body. But like anyone would do, he kept the head as a souvenir. Oh, my God.

He doesn't want to leave. I mean, this is going fine. I mean, now he's got a crocodile head. I've got a crocodile head on the wall, and I took a little bit of their skin, and now I made my own shoes. It's the first pair of crocs. They're so comfortable.

It's like I'm barefoot. It's like my childhood, all over again. I wouldn't wear them out in public. They do look a little ridiculous. Even the dogs took their nose off a little bit. You know what? They're comfortable. I don't think they're going to leave. In one of his more dubious claims,

Rod said he tied cotton from his shirt to a bee that was flying close to his... Let me finish. It's a crazy beginning. Because when I read this, I wrote it and then I went back and went, that's not what... No, that's exactly what it said when I wrote it down. He tied cotton from his shirt to a bee

that was flying close to his dog's water and then followed the flying string to the beehive where he got honey. I mean, that did not happen. Why didn't he just grab the stinger and then make a weird move and make a trip over itself? That was always... Can you imagine when that bee got back to the hive?

He was like, it's really hard to fly to there. They're like, Tony, no! You fucking idiot! You let him write to us! Oh, shit! Oh, that's what that is. How is this possible? It's not, right? It's not actually possible.

So this isn't happening. That was a delusion. Copy that. What in a million? You never... I don't know if you guys have ever been to America, but we do a bee tying competition. And it's one of the best things. You've seen them.

Yeah, well, and now we're stepping it up where we're just killing them by the millions, too. Whatever. Yeah, either way, it's a win-win. We had a bee holocaust in South Carolina. A hive-a-cost. They were spraying to kill all the mosquitoes because Zeke is not there.

And they were supposed to spray at night when the bees were asleep, but they did it in the morning. So they killed bees. Probably to keep the crocodiles guessing on their schedule. You know, South Carolina, I don't know if you guys know what that's like, but they're fucking idiots. So Rod lived his way for several weeks.

Even though he was eating a great diet of meat, berries, and honey, he still became weaker and weaker. Now, seven weeks in, he was only able to catch one buffalo. During the eighth week, he heard that... First of all, if I catch one buffalo, I'm gonna feel like a fucking demon. I don't know what the fuck he's doing. He's just like, I only like the rump roast.

Fuck the rest of it. I like the wings. That's my favorite part. Hard to find that bone on him, too, I'll tell ya. So during his eighth week, he heard the sound of horse bells in the distance. He stumbled towards the sound and came across a group of people on horseback.

They were on a trip to visit the group member's aboriginal homeland, and they rescued Rod. Though he'd lost weight and was a bit weaker, Rod was in decent health after his ordeal. He went home but didn't talk about the experience because he didn't want to worry his mother. What are you thinking about, Rod?

Nothing. I sucked a cow's fucking neck. What? Nothing. Literally, he killed one cow and like five buffalo and one crocodile. And he was only awake for eight weeks.

Eight weeks? Did he even get through all that food? He should've come home with fucking leftovers. He should've put on so much weight. Rod, where were you? I was stranded. I ate like a cake. I ate 800 pounds of buffalo in eight weeks.

I was eating eight meals a day to fucking throw the crocodiles off. What is he doing? Oh, God. A quote from Rod. Quote, all the blokes up in this country who work with cattle, ringers, stockmen, bullcatchers, whatever,

all of them have really narrow shaves all the time. But they never talk about it. I think the opinion is that if you come through in one piece and you're still alive, then nothing else really matters. It's like going out to shoot a kangaroo. You don't come back and say you missed by half an inch. You either got them or you didn't.

So that is how he looked at it. Until the paper got ahold of the story. And that changed a lot of things. Yep, word was out. The story of his ordeal was written about at length in the local paper, and Rod's life would never be the same. He became a celebrity overnight.

The media were calling him a modern-day Robinson Crusoe. Rod was thinking the attention would fade away pretty quick, but that did not happen. Rod, the man who survived in the bush, remained in the public consciousness. Then in 1979, Rod was asked to participate in a documentary film

about his eight-week adventure. So I think that's what's called a reenactment, but he's in his own reenactment. You are the best. When you make the real person act it out. Oh, that's those are the best. Hello 9-1-1, or sorry. Hello 0-0-0.

That's going to be weird if you have an emergency in the states, though. The operator's like, what do you need? Hello, what do you need? You're just calling three operators. Anyway, let's keep moving. Come on, we don't have time for this. It's weird to see someone's brain when they know they're failing in the middle. Doesn't happen a lot.

So Rod agreed to do this and went out reliving his experiences on film in what was released as a movie to fight the wild. The incredible story of Rod Ansel starring Rod Ansel as Rod Ansel. In a Rod Ansel film edited by Rod Ansel.

Starring Larry The Bee. It was a fascinating role and I really wanted to do something like this. Starring Bill Hunter as The Bee. He was a popular Australian actor at the time. And he'd be a fucking great bee. And then, oh, fucking Buzz, fucking Buzz! Fucking Buzz, fucking Buzz!

Who's this fucking cunt on my tail? Fucking Buzz! Bill, you've got string attached to you! Fuck that, my fucking bullshit, fucking Bill! That's a very uncanny impression. And this snake is like, how do they not get cast? You're too big, man.

We wanted to go ethnic. You know how the deal is now. We have to... And then there was a 1980 book with the same title that was released. The book was supposedly written by Rod. But, yes, come on. The once rather secluded Rod

was now loving his celebrity. And of course, he had to tell his tale of survival over and over and over. And nearly every time he did, the details would become more incredible. But the public couldn't get enough of this charismatic bushman. In 1981, he was flown to Sydney

to be on Michael Parkinson's talk show. Of course, he tried to board the plane barefooted. The ground crew requested that he put on some sort of footwear, so Rod reluctantly put on a pair of thongs. And I had to add a crocodile.

Wait, he put on a pair of what? Flip flops, flip flops. Okay. I thought that was a situation like, you got to wear shoes. He's like, how about really small underpants? Get on board, Rod! I translated... I don't know what we were thinking!

I translated into Australian. Flip flops. Well, I was lost, Dave. Yes, you were. If Cisco's taught me one thing, it's that thongs are things that go in bottoms. In bottoms? Yeah. You're not doing them, right?

They don't go in your bottom. I'm not doing that. They don't go in your bottom. Yeah, they're in between. That's taken by in your bottoms. That's in your bottom. I'm not saying they're inserted in you. Yeah.

Oh, you mean the underpants you put in your intestines? Man, I love those. Okay, so say you're in prison. And a guy puts his penis in your butt crap. Are you like, well, you're in my bottom? Because then he'll be like, no, I'm going to show you what's in it. No, but I would be arguing. No, no, that'll do. You're in my bottom.

That's good. Swipe it like a credit card a bunch of times. Swipe it like a debit card. There you go. This is how they do it. Have the credit card in there. Just don't enter the zone. Just have as much. You don't want to go in there. That's gross. Come on. You can't go in there. We're married! Shut up.

That's a poster of Rita Hayworth. Don't go through there. Don't look behind it. It's a prison junk. I'm like, sure, Shank, it's the most popular baby in the world. Fuckin' look it up. And then... So, Rod put on some thongs. But as soon as he got on the ramp, he threw them away. He was also barefoot on the talk show

and the audience ate it up. What a fun and crazy guy he was. He entertained them with a story of how a bed was too soft which led it to sleep on the floor in his sleeping bag. He talked about not understanding what the bidet in the hotel was for. He's not a fucking caveman.

He's like, your beds are too comfortable for my wild body. I can't adapt. I need to sleep on rope with crocodiles that I'm confusing. The problem with this is, for a while I've had a suspicion where this was going. Now you know. But now I fucking know.

Now you know. When do you think he'll figure it out soon? Yep. Wait a minute. So... So he's doing... He talked about not understanding what the bidet in the hotel was.

The audience ate it up. When Michael Parkinson asked Rod how he passed the time in the remote bush, he fell to the floor and did one-handed push-ups with a five-cent coin between his teeth. Why? Was he going to Hades? Why did he have... That's what he did when he was out in the bush.

That's what everybody does out there. You got... I mean... We didn't have Netflix back then. You want to come over and do one-armed push-ups with a nickel in your mouth and chill? Yeah. During his media tour,

Rod met Joanne Van Oes. She was a 22-year-old radio operator who was working in a remote, Aboriginal community. Joanne said it was love at first sight. Rod was nothing like anyone she'd ever known. Well... That's not hard to...

I mean, he's clearly, but not in a good way. You know, you're the second guy I've dated that's sucked cow blood from a neck. Yeah, but what about tying a scarf to a bee? Yeah, no. Actually, my ex-fiancé he tied a scarf to a bee. Yeah.

Okay, what about having... What about just cruising around with a crocodile head? Two, actually. Two of my exes... Yes. Yeah. It's very common. What about... Not... Having like a snake buddy?

You're the first. Well, never a snake that big, right? Oh, the others felt like worms. You know what I mean? Joanne was born in Sydney and raised in Melbourne. The oldest of... I love that you've almost gone too fucking tired on that now.

Like in Melbourne. You've got a... We fear the second half of it. I'm terrified of you people. You try and live in the fear that I live in. She was the oldest of six kids. Before becoming a radio operator she had been working as a laboratory technician.

So, his lifestyle was completely alien to hers and she found that attractive. They were quickly married and soon had two sons, Caleb and Sean. They spent their early years together living, quote, under a canvas sheet out in the bush. With no electricity or water

they cooked using campfire and communicated over radio. Between media appearances, Rob made a living hunting wild buffalo. Then, in 1985 Rob combined his savings with money he borrowed and invested in a pastoral lease. That's a lease for land

on which you will raise animals. One will, not me. No, you will. I will not do that. I can't demand that I go raise animals. Actually, I will do it. For just under $16,000 a year he got the rights to

60,000 acres of land next to the... oh fuck. Cacodoo? Cacodoo? Cacodoo. National Park. Rodmo the Darned. Rodmo the Darned.

Rodmo with his family there and they had a homestead on which they raised their two sons. Filled with wild buffalo this place was perfection to Rod. His plan was to capture and domesticate the wild animals creating a big herd he could sustainably farm and sell.

So it's all fucking working out. Yep, yep. But then everything changed in 1986. Really? So weird. The end. Well that was the year Crocodile Dundee was released. What? I did.

What a feeling. Well that's not a snike. Then he doesn't fly. No Rod! It's alright. If you just do that with your ass, not a bike. Rod, it's a fucking bike. It's no carpet.

It's carpet. It's not a door. This is hell. It's no hell. Do you remember the 42 minutes scene? Do you remember the 42 minutes scene in Crocodile Dundee when he was trying to tie a thread on a bee?

You mean Crocodile Dundee? Well that was the actual famous scene. They cleared it all up where he was like, that's not a bee. And he was pointing at a dog. That's like a lot more said. Actually Rod the Dementia is really said again. That's not my wife. It's not my childhood.

It was. That was your childhood. Paul Hogan and other producers became aware of Rod when they saw him on Michael Parkinson's show. Hogan's character was clearly based on Rod, but producers insisted Mick Dundee was an original character. Though they admitted that Rod's story of survival

may have had some influence, especially his Bushman in the Big City antics on Parkinson's. You mean the plot of the movie. Rod heard a radio interview in which his influence was stated and he saw an opportunity. He and Joanne expanded the homestead, added two guest rooms with fans,

running water and even an indoor toilet. An indoor toilet. Wow. Imagine that. The cement floor common room was decorated with an alligator skull, buffalo horns, a punching bag,

and the variety of cassette music tapes ranging from ravel to meatloaf. Ravel? Is that what's ravel? Ravel? What the fuck is Ravel? Classical music. Oh, shit.

Yeah, I know you're supposed to be cultured and stuff, but fuck that. I think it's rough. How old is he, this guy? What was he from the 1700s? Yeah, fuck it. Why would I listen to the 1800s music? Yeah, if there's one thing we know about you,

you have no interest in history. History. I have a story. That's gonna sound great on the podcast. Alright, so, so he's listening to classical music and meatloaf. Roger Klan was offered towards the opportunity

to stay on the homestead and spend some time with the real crocodile Dundee. Oh fuck, so this actually is like Silent Valley. It's like when the real Crave has started doing bus tours. But then if you're Paul Hogan, you don't have a leg to stand on, right? You're like, fuck. Really? Yeah, because

then he contacted Paul Hogan's office. That happens too much. In Sydney as a courtesy and soon received a letter back. Stop being you. Sorry, mate, read the letter from Hogan's business partner from these lawyers.

Might, might, might. Here, I might, might, might, might. Respectfully, might. Sorry, mate, but you cannot use the name crocodile Dundee in any advertising either in Australia or the USA. Lawyers would descend on you from a great height. Yeah, but he lived under snakes.

Scared of lawyers. It's actually very similar. Rod was stunned by the letter. He thought about what to do, and then just decided to put the real crocodile Dundee in the brochure anyway. Quote. I mean, it's not like ho, ho, hoa hoogs,

they call them hoogs. It's not like hoogs ever called me up and said Hey, Rod, mind if I use bits and pieces of your story? story. When I asked, I thought he'd say, yeah, sure, mate, go ahead. The business started slow, but soon they had their first customers. Sam's a couple who spent five days at Rod's homestead on their honeymoon. The honeymoon. Oh my God. I mean, you've come all that way, and then that's what you've done. Yeah. Baby, I love you. Let's go stay in a place with an indoor toilet, buffalo heads in a punching bag. Do you like meatloaf? Not the food,

the cassette. I like Ravel. Ravel. Uh, don't you correct me on how to pronounce that one. And your back. The honeymoon. The honeymoon couple described the visit as quote, like going back 100 years. So it wasn't the best way to, it wasn't the best way to start his bed and breakfast career, but Rod wasn't all that worried. He still had the Buffalo farming plan to fall back on and saw it as the main way to secure his family's future. In 1989, to the world's great pleasure, Crocodile Dundee 2 was released. The Northern Territory Government awarded Rod as Territorian of the Year. Guy's just making shit up, huh? Territorian of the year. Yeah. Each of our states and territories each year nominate somebody to be the person

of the year. We have the Australian of the year and then we have the state people of the year. You have Victorian of the year. You have Territorian of the year. It's fair to say the pool that they choose from is a little deeper in Victoria than it is in the Territory. It's basically just him. What do we want to do? Him again? I don't know. What do we think? The snake one had lost you. Just an honor to be nominated. So he wanted for inspiring Crocodile Dundee and inspiring thousands of new tourists to visit the Northern Territory and Australian outback. Right after that, the Northern Territory Government told Rod that he'd be able to kill all his Buffalo. What? They didn't just come to that decision

for the hell of it. Tuberculosis was widespread in the wild Buffalo populations of the Northern Territory and the government was determined to wipe out the threat to livestock. They mandated that all pastoral leaseholders, including Rod, had to wipe out their feral Buffalo populations living on their land and replace them with domestic herds. Yep, got sad, didn't it? He was just one Territorian in the year. Rod was livid because he thought it was a waste of good stock. He said the money spent on the government program would be better spent on AIDS research and that they were letting meat rod that could have been sent to feed starving children in Africa. Hey, you got a clear point, make it. It feels like he's

just throwing some hot topics at the table. Well, what about AIDS? Kids with cancer, babies are dying, old people have diseases. Think of our water. My God, the sky. Look up there. All the people who hate each other. We got guys, other guys. So many things we could do. Let me keep them. Wow. I mean, it was like, how many buffalo did you have? Do you know what the number was? You know, I never, I never got to find out, but it was a lot. Like hundreds, do you think? Yeah, I think it was very high. That is really crazy to be like, go kill a hundred of your best friends. Right. Like he's like, that is a hundred buffaloes. And he just chooses to kill them by sucking blood from their necks. Rod, you could shoot

them. Oh, good point. Hercules. I didn't even. Oh, but then you waste all that salt. No, it's the tuberculosis. You can really taste the TB. Well, but he had no choice if you wanted to keep his lease. So he spent his days catching and killing the buffalo living on a station. At the same time, nearby grazers were given large government loans, but Rod said he was never compensated for his loss. Now he had no money to maintain his property and invasive weeds began to take over invasive weeds. I mean, that is also the story of my career. Things were going well and then invasive weeds. Suddenly I'm doing a fucking podcast. Is it invasive weeds though? If you go buy it. The good shit. Yeah. In 1991, the couple

was forced to, I only found it because I attached a string to Gareth and Paulie. Oh, god dammit. How are we now? I will. I should have felt that. Dammit. Yes, I live in a hive. A hive. Sorry, it'd be better written down, but there was a J and then I chewed it. This is like a dog. That is good. No, it's your problem. So now they had no money to maintain the property, the weeds take over and in 1991 the couple was forced to sell the cattle station. Shortly after losing their station, Rodney and Joanne divorced. Depressed alone and with no source of income, Rodney did what anyone would do and started growing marijuana. But weed with weed. That's right. It's a great term. Very soon after Rod was... That's not a tomato

plant? No, no, no. We're from the government and we're saying that it is not and that's a problem for us. Very soon after Rod was convicted of stealing 30 cattle from a nearby station. He had the munchies. He forgot they weren't his. I mean, if he's already nicking cows without weed. Rod, are you inside the cow? I'm going to eat my way out. It's some good stinky shit over here. I'll tell you that. Good invasive weed. But he was not given a sentence. He was fined for assaulting the station manager who he had threatened with a meter long steel bar. Fine. Okay. Rod spent the next few years drifting, doing odd jobs and growing pot. He took a stab at suing the producers of crocodile dundee for

royalties. But they were like, that's not a knife. He's going to stab him. All right. In 1996, Rod put an advertisement in the paper asking for help to break in horses. The ad was answered by Sherry Houston, a 25-year-old with a Bachelor's of Applied Science who was a tour guide in the area. Sherry quote, I met him that day and went out to his camp and we stayed together. They were a very close couple attached to the hip. They lived together whenever we were together and started taking amphetamines together. And the weird thing is when Dice is attached to the hips, he literally attached himself to her at the hip. I'm not a metamine. You need a project. But besides, he's married couples. I love you.

They just started making, speaking, taking. Taking and making? Or just taking. Sherry described their perfect life. Quote, we were living underneath a trucking tarp on the edge of a billabong. Paradise. Luxury. They were living under a what? Billabong? I don't know, a billabong? What is a billabong? It's what you put your face of weed in. He says it as if every other... Okay. I put the weight in the fucking billabong and then we'll be fucking waltzing Matilda. I've got a fucking Jumbuck in me tucker bag and that'll get us... I didn't, I don't know if I arranged what you asked for. We might need to go through the list again. To get the billabong? Yeah. And then the evil what? So that's part... It's like a pond,

right? A pond? Like I'm like a pond, right? Like a little small pond. It's like a pond. So that, so they did that on the edge of the billabong there and... Wait, where we go? That's what we're all wondering. I just saw a billabong again. You know what, sometimes you try to throw it out for a few billabongs. Okay. So we were living underneath the trekking tarp at the edge of a billabong there and building trap yards. Country lyrics, Emma. And building trap yards? Sure. What's a trap yard? Well, I mean, if you can't build a yard of your own, you have to try. Where's our yard? He's got our yard! It was four-wheel drive access only. Rod realized that whenever Sherry's father came up in conversation, she would get

very angry. So Rod encouraged her to explore why that was happening. Sherry slowly uncovered long repressed memories. With Rod's support, she was finally able to confront the fact that she was the child of Freemasons. What is going on? I'll tell you what's going on. Infetamines. Let's just smoke some crack and figure out your past. You don't know how awesome moment. Let's just have some moment. Let's smoke some meth and figure out what your dad was like. Go back into your memories. I'm going to chew through this tree. I love you, baby. My dad is a Freemason. Well, let's smoke some more meth. Over many nights, Sherry revealed how Rod, okay, revealed to Rod how her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and parents were all Freemasons.

Yeah, sure. Even she had been initiated as a Freemason at the age of eight years old in a ceremony. At the kid's table of masonry? I always felt like that was an adult thing for a masonry, right? There's a handshake. How does a kid do a handshake? You can't silence a kid. Yeah. Well, they had her do it by drinking the blood of a human sacrifice in the Freemasons Hall of Waragall. Oh, see, this all makes a lot more sense now. Now that I've known that it was a... The thing I have in common is they're both fucking crazy. Yeah. Oh, all you did was drink blood? Oh, baby. What are you worried about? I chased a cow down and sucked it like Dracula. Later, she would recall, quote, we only had one initiation

ceremony, but when my grandfather died, I can remember two girls being taken out into the woods and sacrificed. They staked them out like a square out crucifix position. They tortured them and have a picnic in the woods. I mean, that's a weird... It's not weird. It's just picnicking. It's just a weird picnic vibe. I mean, it is. Look, I love sandwiches, but honestly, those girls were just fucking perfect. This is freaking me out. Like, I don't want to eat... I don't want to sit here and eat a sandwich right now. Come on, guys. Help yourself to some jams. We got crackers and marmalade. Don't be so down. When she was 15, Sherry said... I'm not against the sacrifices. I'm just saying we shouldn't combine the picnic

activities with the sacrifices. I'm just saying we keep them separate. We have a picnic, and then we have the sacrifices. I love... I love not even... We can have the... Okay, but not eating these cucumber sandwiches is not going to bring those girls back, so let's just make the most out of this, okay? Come on. We're all learning, guys. It's hard to eat cucumbers when they're screaming. I've always felt that way. I mean, why am I the bad guy? Seriously. You did the thing where you put them in the crucifix. Because her grandpa died. Oh, my God.

Again, if you could just run us through what the connection between that was again, because he was so passionate about it at the meeting. He was like, he died. We have to sacrifice some girls, but we didn't quite... Listen, okay? Her grandpa died. Yeah. Right? Uh-huh. Then we hammered those two girls into the ground like Jesus, and now we're going to have some champagne and fruits, and I don't understand. You guys are being weird. You guys, unreal. I thought it was freemasonry. Lot of rules. Lot of rules. When she was 15, Sherry said that she'd angered the freemasons, so her parents tied her hands

behind her back, put a black hood over her head, and staked her out in the woods. Sherry was very grateful that Rod had helped her uncover these previously repressed memories. I got to thank Rod and Meph for this one. These are the two ingredients for my breakthrough. Quote. Yeah, that's it. That's just information that Rod and I have been putting together, working through. Seventeen flashbacks and stuff, and my memories and the memory recall because you suffer so much trauma, it comes in bits and pieces, and it's a matter of putting it together, and it's not like you, you know, you remember it all at once, and I know it sounds like manipulation or mind manipulation or whatever, but the memories are mine, and

the nightmares that come, well, nobody can give you nightmares, the quality and the clarity of what I had with, like, yeah, with, like, being out in the woods. So she stopped smoking meth, obviously. No, she's like, I have nightmares. I have not slept for three months, but I'm waking nightmares. In late July, 1999, Rod was at his camp when he saw three hunters nearby. The men were carrying bows, wearing camouflage gear, and happened, and appeared to have night vision goggles. Obviously, these were Freemasons coming to kill Sherry. Thank God.

Rod's son, Callum, was away from the camp at the time, and Rod obviously became concerned for his safety. Rod then sent Sean to look for Callum. Yep, Sean did not come back. It was obvious that the Freemasons had captured Sean and Callum, and were getting ready to come for Rod and Sherry. So Rod and Sherry decided to leave the camp and head into the nearby town to try and find Sean and Callum. First they stopped at their friends, the Barlows, in Humpty-Doo. Yeah, yeah, that sounded very good. Very close.

We told them that we had lost Sean. Well, listen, it's going to take me a second. Okay, I'm good. We told them we had lost Sean and Callum. We had seen Sean up to Darwin to get Callum. We sent Sean up to Darwin to get Callum and bring him back, but the people who were chasing me, the Freemasons, we thought had kidnapped them, and we asked Goldie if he would swap cars with us so they wouldn't recognize our vehicle. For some reason, weird reason, Goldie Barlow decided not to swap cars with them.

Weird. So they went to another nearby friend named Toy Man. It's a good place. Oh boy, and he was in Humpty-Doo? Yeah. Toy Man was in Humpty-Doo. Just want to make sure I got all the facts, that Toy Man lived in Humpty-Doo. Have you not? It's a good, it's a good one.

You know what, I'm so disappointed this wasn't the third Crocodile Dundee movie. I feel like this would have been he's better than the one where he was in LA. This is like a really fucking great story, like Mick starts doing meth, like Linda Koltslowski leaves him and he starts doing meth with some fucking random and then goes on crazy adventures because he's being chased by fucking Freemasons. That's a movie. That is a god damn movie. The third Crocodile Dundee.

That's not a knife. Crocodile Dundee, lost in his brain. So Toy Man also did not want to swap vehicles. After that they drove to- He just drove a little Tonka car. You guys won't fit in it. I don't fit in it. After that they drove to Milner to the house of Sean's girlfriend Tamra.

They thought Tamra's father was a Freemason. Oh god. The couple sat there and waited, keeping the house under surveillance until dawn. On Monday, the second of August, they knocked on the door and asked for Tamra. They were told she was not there, so they went into some bushes near the property and watched the house for the rest of the day. But nothing happened. So later in the afternoon-

The show's in the bush. There's nothing that you're watching. Who cares what's going on there? But how are they feeling their job? They're still not doing anything. I mean, I think we could smoke some meth. Still nothing. A little meth will make the time pass.

What do you think? A little more meth? Boy, these people are really in there. Do you want to smoke some meth? So later in the afternoon, Rod and Sherry drove out to the home of Stuart, a friend and doctor. Oh, this is a tough one. In Jingili?

Jingili. Jingili. Alright. Nobody was home, so of course Rod and Sherry broke in. Obviously. Yeah. They didn't think it was a problem to break in because they were used to being allowed in the house.

Absolutely. Yeah. No, that's how it works. If someone lets you into their house, you can go in whatever. Yeah. That's just- I think it's like going back so I can walk into any bank at any time. Absolutely.

Yeah. It's like when you invite a vampire in, then they can't always come in. Yeah. Once they've been invited in, they can come in whenever they want. So they didn't think it was a problem, but normally the Stuart's left them a key, just not this time. Inside, Sherry got some water out of the refrigerator, but something was off. She felt strange after drinking the water.

She concluded the water was drugged. Oh my God. What? They're like nine steps ahead? Then Rod- Also, looking at their lifestyle, wouldn't she be wrapped if it was drugged? Yeah. Like everything else says to be drugged.

Let's boil it into a rock and put it in the pipe. That's what she was noticing, that it wasn't drugs. Yeah. It was the first thing she consumed. What is that horrible take? It's no chemicals to it. It burns. Then Rod drank some milk.

Sure enough, he felt strange too. Oh yeah. This is their whole fridge is poisoned, baby. They poisoned everything on us. The milk had been poisoned. They started to inspect the house for other sinister signs. The whole couch is poisoned. And they found them.

The dog was locked in a shed. Photos were missing. The bed was unmade. The kitchen was unusually dirty. They tried to use the phone unsuccessfully. There was only one conclusion to reach. This was the work of the Freemasons. Bingo.

We're all making a mistake. The whole golden-haired child looking for bears. Rod and Sherry then borrowed two medical kits from Stewart's house. They thought they might find Sean and Callum before they were killed by the Freemasons, but they would definitely have been tortured. So they left that home and went to another couple they were friends with, Steve Robinson and Leanne Musgrave, who lived in a caravan. When they got there, they were disturbed to see a large gray van near the property.

Oh boy. Fucking Freemasons. That's Freemasons written all over it. I was just going to say. They went inside to warn their friends. Inside the caravan. You guys, this is going to sound crazy. We just drank poisoned milk and the Freemasons are trying to kill everyone.

We were in a bush-spoken mess for three days. We had the whole thing under surveillance. How are you guys? You guys good? What have you guys been doing? Inside the caravan, Steve and Leanne offered them food and they sat down with them. Then Sherry drank some Coke and got that old spinning feeling. Oh no.

Rod immediately realized this food and drink had been drugged. Oh my God. It's all been drugged. So he picked up his rifle. Oh no. That's insensible. And went out to check around the property. Rod then came back in and asked Steve to come outside with them.

He didn't want to talk inside because the caravan was probably bugged. Then he explained everything that had been going on. The Freemasons hunting party near the camp, how his sons had been kidnapped, weird conditions of Stuart's house and then Rod remembered something else. A man approached Rod at the station and said, if he ever wanted to see his kids again, then he would have to swap Sherry for them. Well, he just remembered that. Boy, a lot of breakthroughs with math.

Rod begged Steve and Leanne to flee before whoever was in the Grave van came for them. Steve seemed pretty shaken, but for some strange reason, Steve and Leanne decided to stay. We'll probably stay here. You guys run drugs, so post up here. Rod and Sherry then left. Quickly they started arguing about what to do. Steve wanted to go back and protect Steve and Leanne. Sherry was against that idea.

Then Rod jumped out of the car and ran back to the caravan. When they got there, he aimed and fired five shots at the home. What? At the house? Yeah, he shot at the caravan. There's a reason for it. What is the reason? He's like, I'll kill you before the Freemasons do it.

He wanted to scare his friends into leaving the house. Oh. So you shoot at it. Yeah. Kill them. That'll stop them. Use your fucking head. Yeah.

Yeah. Still at the car, Sherry heard Rod yell to her to run, so she took off, driving south to Acacia. There, she hitched a ride to Queensland. Neighbors heard the gunfire. One of them, David Hobden, climbed into his truck and drove to investigate the shots. Why would you not drive towards gunfire? Yeah, go towards that.

Well, I've been living out here for seven years, eight years, and there's been shooting out there over the years. You know, every once, every year or two. So when I heard the shots, I just thought I'd wave straight over, make sure everything was all right. But everything was really not all right. Oh, I don't know. Rod saw Hobden's truck coming and aimed.

When the truck stopped, he shot at it. The bullet smashed the windshield. The Hobden was showered with broken glass and now could not see. He stumbled out of his truck and crawled towards the house of neighbor Brian Williams. Williams saw this and ran out of his house, Adelaide. Williams saw this and ran out of his house to help Hobden get to cover. As Williams got close to Hobden, Rod started yelling at them. Quote from Hobden, this bloke was yelling out shit about free maces and child thieves.

Well, I mean, he's got a complex point to make fast. I mean, I really feel like Rod has really missed his calling in talkback radio. He would have been a great morning host. He really would have. He really would have. You're listening to WMETA, Rod Radio. This bloke was yelling shit about free maces and child thieves or something, child killers, and he wanted his boy back or something.

Rod then ran to Hobden's truck, climbed in, and tried to start it. At that point, Williams reached Hobden and saw his bloody mess of a face and he lost his shit. Williams picked up a baseball bat, which I'll help, like that. It's fucking weird that he had one because why wasn't it a cricket bat? Yeah, that is weird. Right. It's not America.

And plus, why is it just sitting there on his lawn or whatever? He probably threw it out. I thought, this is not good for cricket. So he picks up the baseball bat and runs through the truck. Williams, quote, yelling, you maggot, come on, you maggot, come on, you gutless maggot, show yourself. Williams got to the truck and swung the baseball bat at Rod. Rod reached over and picked up the double bear shotgun and the truck cabin.

He handed it and shot Williams' hand off. Whoa. Well, no more cricket or baseball. Shot his hand off. Yeah, I'm telling you, Krakernal Gundy IV is going to be fucking awesome. Krakernal Gundy. Well, this is like the Empire Strikes Back, where I get a bit dark and loose with his hand.

That's what's happening here. That's when the snake's like, Rod, I'm your fuck. Star Wars. Star Wars. Williams being Australian was not about to be stopped by just suddenly having one hand. Yeah, fucking I might still got a fucking NALA one. I'm just going to have a quick wank to see how it feels with this and that and then there will be a boy back to you.

They said sitting on it made it numb. I can't even feel this one. They would see my jerk off hand. Oh, it's back there at 90 feet. Oh, god. I'm going to go grab that. But when Williams tried to open the truck door, he found it was very hard to do without a hand.

So true. You don't think about the little things. So he ran. Oh, yeah, this is going to be an adjustment. By the way, I'm bleeding out. So Williams ran back into his house and hopped in with him. Rodney then just started shooting at the house, firing through the walls, the back door and the floor.

I'm trying to protect you. Yeah. But also the house was a pretty nice. Inside the house where Hopton wins his wife and their daughter, they tried to take cover as best as possible. Thankfully, no one was hit by a bullet and the shooting finally stopped. Rod tried to get the truck going, but couldn't because there was a secret lock on the handbrake. So he ran away on foot, taking his rifle and hopped in shotgun.

Police were then called and they set up roadblocks on the Stuart Highway and other nearby roads for 30 AM. At a roadblock, truck driver Andrew Cachel had pulled over to wait out the police action. After a half an hour, he felt his truck rock. He looked out the window into the darkness, but saw nothing. Then in his mirror, he saw a man in dark clothing standing on top of the fuel tank behind his truck cabin, swaying from side to side. Cachel found his wife whispering to her that what he had seen, and she called the police.

Why don't we just call the police? Hey, honey. Yeah? There's a man. Oh my God, there's a man? He's on the fuel tank and he's swaying. Oh my God. Back and forth.

Oh my God. How are you? What? Terrifying. How are you? You're very scared. What are you scared of? The man is swaying.

You're the man here. Take care of it. Have you ever played? What? No, no, don't finish your question. Have you ever played the game telephone? Can you call the police? There's a man here.

That's not how you even play telephone. We're not going to argue about the rules of telephone. That's not how it's played for the record. Okay, but can you call... Just call the goddamn cops. I need you to. I only had one dime. The use of my cell phone.

Honey. I'm on deck. I know. I know. I know. But you know my truck driver, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy on the...

The guy on the field tank might be a bat now. Okay. I'll... Honey, what do you know about free mason? Thank you. Can I just say, you said telephone there, and I may be mistaken. Maybe this was just a regional thing from where I'm from. But is telephone the game where kids will whisper one thing to each other?

Yeah. So this will be very, probably, reflect badly on our country, but... Wow. In Australia, that was a cool telephone. Oh, God. Let me guess, it was racist. Oh, Australia. That game was called...

It was racist. What? What? So this is the kind of thing where a teacher and a teacher... If they were in teacher and school, they'd be like, Hey, everybody, let's play Chinese whispers. Jesus. And some Chinese kid in class is like,

Wait, what? You guys don't communicate, right? It's fine. We're going to play and they'll read and they'll know. Portable people. Anyway. Chinese whispers. I don't...

I... I don't want to know. I mean, I know. I mean, I don't want to confirm. Nobody wants to know. Wow. It sounds like a perfume. It's okay.

We won't take you to the supermarket and let you know what the cheese is called. You know what? I had a big piece of coon today. But I want to try that cheese, too. What happened? What happened? There's a sense of man. Sorry, I mean, man.

The fact that you guys are out... Occasionally out-racisting America is tremendous. Number one. Yeah. Now when we get our president. Once we get our baby. By the way, whenever I come here,

coon cheese is never not shocking. Every time I see it, I'm like, Oh God, it's still there. Yeah. It's really tremendous. Yeah. I mean, the owner of coon cheese must be like 99, be like,

It's still a valid name. It's different. I'm 99. Is that okay? Um, so his wife, calls the police. The police went to the area and immediately swarmed over the truck.

And as this is happening, Koshel was sitting in his truck a little bit away, watching the police swarm all over the wrong truck. You know what they must have called a Chinese cop. Zero, zero, zero.

You bought the lemon chicken. You know. Spicy in here. So, uh, so then Koshel called the police headquarters, which he should have done in the first place, and told them they were at the wrong truck. And they were like,

Well, why'd you have your fucking wife call? At the same time, he saw the man slide down from the fuel tank by the time the police got, you know, he was like, I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. He was in the fuel tank by the time the police got to the right truck, the intruder had disappeared. It's so weird.

When you call your wife, it doesn't work out to tell him where. Anyway, police searched the area, but could find no sign of rod. But he was very close. Over the next few hours, he slowly and discreetly moved to a spot 20 meters away from the roadblock.

He laid down in light scrub, his dark clothing blending in with the shadow of the trees. Between him and the road lay a low dirt ridge and a large water pipe. This is most impressive because he was high on math. It is hard to do a slow crawl on math.

I feel like I'm still going really fast. But just for the record, it's hard to do anything that is happening in this story without math. Swings around about, balances out, you know what I mean? I feel like meth has got us most of the way there. Meth is becoming problematic at this stage,

but it got us to this point. It's true. So, six hours later at 10.30 a.m., Jonathan Anthony's, it's like my name, but with a Z on the end, like some fucking animal. He was nine by a bay.

Jonathan Anthony's, a mover was chatting with two police at the roadblock. At this point, Jonathan Anthony Houston and Senior Constable James Joseph O'Brien were relaxed because it was six hours since the sighting of the police

believed the shooter had long since moved on. The officers were sitting on folding plastic chairs and O'Brien was no longer wearing his bulletproof vest. It's always a good thing to hear in a dollop. It feels like you don't say that unless there's a reason. Then came the totally unexpected Rod Ansel Ambush.

He opened fire. The first shot hit Anthony's, who dropped to the ground screaming. Officer O'Brien was trying to figure out where the shots came from, so he asked Anthony's, where were you hit? And Anthony's screamed that he had been

shot in the arse. But... I've got an extra hole, mate. You can't stick it in there either. The chase is enough! The chase is enough! Well, I'm going to need a whole new set of thongs. I need more coverage now. At that moment O'Brien

saw a scruffy-haired figure with a beard and a fluffy green jumper crawling up the nearby ridge. That's always a good sign. He could see the man's rifle barrel. O'Brien fired four or five shots at Rod, who then ducked down behind the ridge. I...

I just want to say at this point it would be so great if he was saying, that's not a knife. He was running down screaming, yelling, that's not... This would be the perfect time. No, it's a gun! Exactly!

Sergeant... I like the idea that he just lay there for ages studying when they ate. It's like, when is the perfect time to attack? I'll get him a fucking dinner. We know how this works. Your first mistake was eating lunch at noon! False!

Sergeant Houston fired his shotgun through the truck cab, shattering one of the car's windows as he did so. O'Brien continued shooting his pistol at Rod. Then Sergeant Houston spun around clutching his stomach and fell to the ground. O'Brien could not help his fellow officer because he was under fire.

He continued to return fire, as Anthony's, who had an ass wound, dragged him to safety. In the middle of all this madness, O'Brien focused and thought of the facts. Quote, acting on the assumption that the information about the gunman being armed with a 30... 30 lever action rifle,

I knew he would need between one, two, one and a half seconds to reload realign his sights and re-fire. The gunman fired another shot, and I immediately replied with three more shots. Saving as one remaining shotgun shell, O'Brien shot two more Glock rounds toward Rod. As he did so, he heard the whiz of one of Rod's bullets

passed by his head. Then other police arrived and quickly joined in the firefight. This gave O'Brien time to take aim. He focused, targeted Rod, and fired off three shots, and the shooting stopped. Rod Ansel was dead.

What? That is fucking crazy. Jonathan Anthony's survived. Sergeant Glenn Huiston died almost immediately. Selby years later, Sherry Hewson turned herself into police custody in Brisbane, eventually being released. Rod Ansel had 33 gunshot wounds.

Oh, meth. Wow. Meth. 30 entries. 33. 33. 30 entry wounds or grazes and three exit wounds. Final conclusion.

Hang on. Just hang on. 33 in and 3 out? 30 entry wounds. 30 in and 3 out. 30 grazes. 3 went through. Sergeant Glenn Huiston is 27,

just rattling around at Sergeant Glenn Huiston. Fuck. As he was Rod, that's how they could hear him. It sounded like a bag of change. This is from the coroner's report. The coroner. This was a real easy one for me to figure out.

When determining the reason for death, gunshots. And I'll tell you why. One could do worse than to use this matter as an illustration of the hazards of drugs. Ansel, after all, is a man who used to have a certain reputation in the territory, and even more widely,

the original crocodile Dundee. The contrast between, on the one hand, the healthy man who appeared in television and magazine articles, and on the other, the man who opened fire on August 3rd could hardly be more marked. By the instrumentality of his chosen drug of abuse, Ansel had rendered himself emaciated

53 kilograms at the time of his death, and so addled his mind as to believe fantasies that a child would dismiss with contempt. His pointless destructive actions caused immediate agony and permanent disablement, and suffering to the men he wounded and the man he killed. So, whatever reputation Ansel may have once had,

it is hard to believe that he will be remembered other than with execration for the losses suffered by his victims, their families and friends, and the entire territory community. Two years later, on April 18th, 2001, Crocodile Dundee 3... Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles was released. The budget was 25 million.

Worldwide, grosses with 39 million. The film has ranked 11% on Rotten Tomatoes. Mike Tyson appears in the movie as the character Mike, the man meditating in the park. I went to see... I went to see Crocodile Dundee 3 in LA. With a group of comedians at the... There was a little, like, a gold class cinema at Crown,

and it just opened when that came out, and Ross Noble, the comedian, invited he would take a bunch of us comedians, and we would hire out the whole gold class, and we would watch Crocodile Dundee in LA together. But, unfortunately, two people had already booked tickets, so it was a room for the comedians and a couple on a fucking date.

So, like, for a while, we all hold our tongue, because there's other people there, but after a while, we just can't fucking help ourselves, so it's all flying around the room. And there's a moment where Paul Hogan turns towards the screen and goes, well, I guess there'll never be another Crocodile Dundee. And without anyone talking about it, we've all just stood up and started clapping,

and everyone stands up, and then this couple who are on a date stand up. What the fuck? I mean, that was pretty fucking amazing. And also, it would have been a better third one. Honestly, it would have been. The problem was it was, like, four and a half days to, like, that movie would be four and a half days.

The third one would have such a great message. Yeah. Don't do drugs. Yeah. Or do it. Or if you want to be bulletproof, do drugs. Yeah. But Paul Hogan killed that man in a way.

Thank you. Fucking coming to this country and taking down our national fucking heroes, mate. Paul Hogan killed that fuck you, mate. Fuck you. Oh, what, Nick Kelly? Fuckin' start on Nick Kelly now, mate. If you fucking want to.

Or ya, who's serious? Is he fair gamer, or is he still? Uh, jury's still out. Jury's still out. That's it should be. Uh, you guys, thank you. Yes. Thank you very much for coming, everybody.

Thank you to Willa Anderson. We have posters for sale by the awesome James Fosdike out there. And, uh, we signed cars, but we can't sign them because of the next show, blah, blah, blah. So, uh, if you want your car signed, you come after the second show. Can you believe that's actually a thing? So guys, we can't sign cars after the first show.

I signed three cars last night. Same. And they didn't even want him signed. We're signing any fucking automobile we want to. Yeah, fuck you. We're fucking signing cars. Uh, ghosty tickled. Thank you very much for coming out.

We appreciate the show, Adam. You're the best. Thank you.