The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 212- Ned Kelly (Live in Perth)

Episode Date: October 16, 2016

Recorded live in Perth, Australia.  Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine Australian criminal Ned Kelly. SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

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helping what did he say Dave I've met Dave oh boy Dave's going through his Van Halen phase so hey oh look at that who needs a bra when you got Tim Tams those are bras for your belly please don't do that. Hi Perth I like your city you have a good dock with a lot of Pokemon unbelievable dock area any announcements we should say that we have a book coming out in the spring of 2017 which is your other season and so your spring 2017 no our spring 2017 would be your fall 2019 so fall fall 2019 we're gonna reach you with this book check it out the tour and what's the what's the country we live in oh yeah for those

people at home listening home we are going to be be doing a tour of America three cities that's how we do our tours three Seattle then Portland in San Francisco starting the day after Christmas Thanksgiving should I yell out the date 1842 well we got to say the intro shit we didn't do the intro well you're listening to the dollop this is a bi-weekly American History podcast each week I read a story from American history to my friend Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about sometimes sometimes 1818 40 right 1842 1842 I'm already off awesome

maybe maybe maybe we don't know for sure I might be right you may be crazy but it just may be a lunatic that I'm looking for John Kelly was brought to the prison colony on Van Diemen's land from a county well what a beginning we were all brought somewhere from a cunt weren't we I'm here this this went bad really fast from County Tipperary Ireland she's crime stealing two pigs it's not a crime but just taking one yeah why do you need they might have been brothers don't separate them true it's traumatic he did his time and was released six years later in 1848 in 1850 he married 18 year old Ellen and they settled in the

British colony of Victoria you know what the sneezing just needs to stop yeah a lot of people say it goes on tight I'm not I'm not I'm more realistic than that just need to stop it you can control it 20 Robins is a whole series on that so Ellen and John started making babies Edward Kelly was the third of their eight children they were Catholic and as some Edwards are he was called Ned I knew it I knew this was gonna be this one why did you because the whole time we've been on tour you've said I'll understand the posters and someone let it slip that this is some net guy some asshole this guy's name is someone let it slip you

mentioned it to you in an email with false like you were just like I'm not doing it no what no I don't know no no no no all I know is he's net and it ends up trust me I know you don't know any more than that I read the poster at this point in time 25% of Victoria's population was of Irish descent I like in America many members of the police were either Irish born or of Irish ancestry tried in that that's why this what it's tried in that some some forces were 80% Irish a fucking right there Ned Kelly was not a fan of the police he's Irish well yeah I mean his father's parents were Irish does he have an Irish

accent do you think I'm imagining that he does yes good fucking no it's good good fucking tack no he's fucking catch up a tryer I don't know what you're saying fucking Yankee he wrote quote these Irish police were the worst kind of traitor to this county ancestors and religion as they're all Catholics before the English yoke held sway the Irish cop is a lazy loafer who deserted the shamrock whoa the shamrock I mean come on he desert doesn't desert deserted he's saying they deserted the shamrock is right out of like leprechaun stereotype

books I'm sure you fork it bring up a shamrock so most of the Irish who migrated to Victoria then were from the one region around the area and which meant they had one general culture and a religion and they were also of the same social economic class the same age education skill and whatnot perfect yeah bunch of Irish went to the same we cannot throw potatoes the same distance oh fucking shut yeah perfect two kilometers or something like that probably fire notice I think about it because of this the Irish were alienated from the social structure of the colony wait were the

Irish ever embraced anywhere though everywhere they went they were like we brought fucking Ireland to you you cocksucker you live in Ireland now maybe that was it's that exact attitude while they weren't embraced yeah I don't know it seems a cervix we're here fuck you fuck you likes us yeah we fucking put Ireland inside of you you won't abandon the fucking shamrock we didn't land on shamrock shamrock landed on us that's a fucking Malcolm X quote but I guess he's not a big player here so Ned Ned was obviously one of these people he was not down with the way things were quote the pressure and tyrannism of the

English yoke and which has kept the Irish and poverty and starvation the convicts all of true bone and beauty were sent to Australia where many a blooming Irishman rather than subdued to the English were flocked to death and bravely died in chains true to the shamrock and a credit to Patty's land so he is a leprechaun back to the fucking rainbow he's a leprechaun that's that's where this ends and what did he say yoke yeah he used that word yoke a lot what is even I don't fucking know I wasn't gonna look that up I mean there are so many things in here I was what what did he say he I don't know if you know this

I didn't so this is he's saying egg apparently eggs have you okay I guess I don't know but I sir it's nice to have a scientist in the audience it's just are you a farmer how do you know so much so wait a minute yokes come from eggs I Dave look I'm hearing it too for the first time but I mean he you heard the man man I'm gonna yeah okay I'm just you know it's mine who's reading the story to who I mean honestly it's like you should come up here yeah with all your knowledge okay Ned's father John was one such Irishman in 1865 John was put in jail

for killing a neighbor's cow that's not a crime it wandered on to his property well let me come on it was from where I I don't know where you grew up but where I grew up if a cow comes on your property you can you can eat it yeah where I grew up for sure so I'm married the cow where I'm from okay I'm not I'm not from there you got to go to the bumble fucks John died shortly after his release from jail Ned's mother Ellen went bug fuck on the neighbor's wife yelling quote your Bible Thumper you witch are you happy now you got enough for your bloody heifer scared huh I wish you a widow soon like me so that's very that sounds like a

witch that sounds like something a witch would scream yeah of a curse well that means classic projection here a fucking witch you know it's like she's the witch she she doesn't recognize inside of herself she's the witch are you yawning Ned had gone to school up until the day's father died but now he was considered the undeclared head of the family how old is he 12 it's a good update I've taken over now don't worry I know enough about school I'm fucking ready I sleep in the bed with mom now yeah I know the fucking deal I'm taking on everything I'll kill the cows

the first thing the first thing we need to talk about are the yolks are you fucking yulking right now because honestly this is fuck off I love you the Kelly family was not on the good side of the law doesn't sound everybody was in jail from the Bonella's Farmers and Squatters Journal which was a that is a great which was a local local newspaper it's really good as for farmers and then people who just put down their shit on farmers land right for those two people those two kinds of people had their own paper awesome I'm sure a lot of it was really good October 16th 1869 quote Ned Kelly answered to a charge of highway

robbery from a Chinaman it was it's always amazing when you hear what was okay like we keep evolving with what we're allowed to say but like we learned about Chinese whispers on this trip which you guys are great bastard what the fuck it's impressive stuff clapping the police applied to detain him to gather evidence the Sydney Herald broke it down a bit more turns out Ned was accused of stealing 10 shillings from said Chinaman a sergeant came to arrest Ned but he took off his mother then quote let loose two ferocious dogs for the purpose of frightening the police frightening the policeman's horse they still caught Ned

though what a tactic but Ned story had a net a different story than the Chinese guy he said the Chinese guy came and asked for a drink of water from his sister and then his sister being a very nice Irish woman gave him creek water instead of water from a barrel no I'm not a scientist like some people here like Dr. Yoke but creek water is a bigger roll of the dice I would guess right seems like you could probably get diseases from I don't know so this Chinese man uh-huh maybe had a point yep okay good catch up and so the Chinese man then became angry why over the creek water please like I couldn't drink out of the fucking

creek I asked you for water aren't you the fucking like a gift horse in the mouth to you ungrateful Chinaman so then him and Ned got into it and Ned pushed the Chinese guy and now they had a little thing but that was it you mean they did briefly what they dated briefly or they dated there's pushing and then a little bit kissing fucking beautiful Ned Ned ended up avoiding a conviction on that charge okay probably because it was just like yeah yeah I mean that's we we we let we have Chinese people drink out of the creek I know what the problem is yeah a year later a year later Ned was hanging out with that law Harry power

power was a 50 year old highway robber Bushman and on May 6th Ned was caught by police the Sydney Herald quote the entrance of Ned Kelly into a banala was quite imposing the prisoner being surrounded by his captors and every now and then a smile passed over his face as he recognized someone he knew so they bring him into town he's like hey how you doing there Larry how you doing hi morning Ned hey Ned oh I'm getting arrested oh fuck bye Ned get his fucking say again the prisoner has grown since he was last in the dock it charged when he was charged with robbing a Chinaman I remember that when the cunning him of

himself and his mates got him off he is very pale and has learned to smoke while out at night with power it is well known that he wait he was he could learn to smoke at night yeah that's power what not the power is a guy he didn't get power right I thought this isn't about it this isn't a story about a this isn't a story about a leprechaun against powers which is where you seem to be heading well if we could maybe go my direction for a second I think we're abandoning the shamrock on May 13th people crowd in the court to see Ned and hear the charges the local paper said quote we are told that his language is hideous

shocker that's just he was said to have become more hardened by his bush rancher life even at the age of 16 he's 16 now yeah he's just getting started good god it's a boy he was dismissed on the charges of highway robbery as the witness couldn't identify him okay a few months later Ned was arrested for stealing a horse there's a pattern here he really he's a livestock thief so he also had a different story this time too Ned said he a friend and his uncle were cutting calves yes it's I looked it up it's a literal they were literally so you're excuse is no officer I was just murdering baby cows good look what kind

of a monster you take me for no so they're cutting calves just slicing them up just cutting them yeah you put them in pieces for what perp just for eating you can't grill a whole one we got a but why don't you go cow over calf soft softer ha ha ha the screams are sweeter whoa it's like angels dying well heaven it has I'm not a fan of this guy anymore now I'm sorry I think he's sociopathic it was the way of the fucking bush talk to me like that when Ned's friend wrapped a pair of calves testicles in a note I'm gonna have to stop you right there DA why why what what what what what does it note say when you put

balls in it hi hi how are you hey Ned hey hey dear Ned how are you here's bars love your man well the note was for a mrs. McCormick why is she getting nuts she was having difficult having a child so he sent her fucking cow balls yeah it was like a prank what the fuck they were like it was like saying you your husband can't get you pregnant here's some extra nuts that was just insinuated in this time oh the nerve don't take it personally Harold you're perfect start the stove cow nuts so Ned couldn't find her right so he gave the testicles and the note to a boy what is going nearby why as you will do why you've

ever been in this situation I've never been there and he gave the point he said you give these to mrs. McCormick what's inside a mr. just some testicles oh I'm too young to know what that is no you're not no their balls but the boy didn't give him to mrs. McCormick of course not he gave him to mr. McCormick who was super mad and then he said he was gonna have Ned arrested for taking his horse which Ned said they had just wandered off because they were busy killing his baby cows they weren't they weren't his baby cows they were just killing baby cows oh mr. McCormick said he could beat Ned or any member of his family and now

Ned was 16 but he was like all right so let's fight now as Ned got off his horse to fight mrs. McCormick hit his horse with a whip this is a quote from Ned it jumped forward and my fist came in collision with McCormick's nose that happened the whole horse left and then I was punching him in the face oh and then I beat and then I started strangling him because the horse was riled up smacking him across the face because it was right behind me it's crazy I was fucking headbutton for 45 minutes while the horse ran around and knocked me into him you never seen anything like it so Ned said then he then he took the time to tie up

his horse to finish the fight but hold on time out but then when when he finished doing that McCormick had ran off to the police Ned was arrested for assaulting mr. McCormick with quote grossly indecent conduct toward McCormick's wife that would be the testicles the ball the balls in the envelope yeah right that's what I figured the McCormick's testified as witnesses and Ned was testicle fight come on Dave what's that if you go back and Ned was found guilty and sentenced to three months for punching and three months for the testicle delivery what I mean what a

great like just a great trial though to like sit in on the two things he's guilty of oh I guess he didn't actually strangle that guy because the horse or punch that guy because the horse pushed him into him and he was the one who mailed those testicles so you should be able to mail testicles I don't care what year it is be male Ned was released after serving his time and then when he got out he immediately stole a horse was and was arrested again boy this guy really so the advantage is I mean you're just you just want as many horse you want fuck you horses you want like a lot it's like fuck you money you just want as

many horses you supposed to walk around I guess right to take a horse okay just if you if you're get guy get out of prison and and then and there's just a horse but if you keep tight up somewhere but you keep going back to jail for stealing horses you don't know whose horse that is you just take it right I think we're saying different around the different sides of the aisle here this time he was sentenced to three years Ned said false evidence was given against him his brother Dan also did time for assaulting a woman it's different while Ned was in prison his mother met George King a 23 year old California horse thief who hey

cool who oh yeah it's like crazy out there right now it's like the horses are totally different catching sick horses out here fucking 50 foot horses ride them you know man fucking delp it's doubt tip how he said delp it's fine that's like delp no crazy that if you think about it yeah all the intertwined did universe not religious spiritual okay that was released in 1973 and he got a job working at saw mills oh man but he was just like looking at horses like katroth yourself all right so he's trying to go straight and it lasted a while three years later he was the overseer of a mill at one point he caught

a wild bull wait but just a wild bull was coming home from work or whatever it okay just given his track record it feels like that might be bullshit no he was probably just coming home and there was a wild bull mm trotting down the road mm-hmm and he wrangled it yep all righty and he gave the bull to a farmer who sold the bull to a pub who killed it for meat which is the way of the land mm-hmm mm-hmm at that point a guy named James James Woody said net net stole the bull really yeah our Ned from earlier who stole all the horses yeah stole the bull yeah that's what James Woody said but James Woody had all the best land

in the area and other people had to pay the banks to graze openly you know an open land mm-hmm which made it hard for poor people to keep livestock and if a horse was left outside then James Woody would impound it who are we rooting for is there a hero okay no not really I mean they didn't know there is they've read the poster too huh there they're right now they're feeling weird like this isn't the story that I know around this time Ned's older sister Annie died from giving birth to an illegitimate daughter it happens sure yeah there was a local dirty cop constable flood it was a constable flood apparently the

father yeah okay the flood would steal horses and sell them and he was good at it he stole and sold the same horse four times that is baller what do you mean it's gone oh that's fucking crazy do you want to buy a horse here's this good's gone boy he's got a track record for this I swear so he's a bad he's a bad cop I just remember he's a cop yeah he's a cop he also wasn't the only horse stealing cop Farrell the policeman stole a horse from Ned's now stepfather George the horse was being kept in James Witte's padlock so Ned and George went and took all the horses rebranded them and sold them to what turned out to be undercover cops okay

all right huh how do you rebrand a horse you can't you can't possibly like it had you had if it's like so let's say it's like from ranch circle and then you put like a like a little like a little accent a goo or something on the fucker and you're like no that's a omelot like those are sweet those are Swedish ones that actually would be the best way to do it what are you talking about those are the Swedes horse Swedish horse got the nerve of you you're stealing from us how are you removing the omelots tricky postards so now they're wanted now these two gentlemen are wanted on February 22nd 1878 a constable Fitzpatrick was on

his way to work when he came across Dan Kelly on a road Dan also had a war now so the constable arrested him Dan gave up and said he'd go to jail but asked if he could go to his mom's house first to get something to eat just like O.J. exactly O.J. and the constable was like yeah that's no problem absolutely why shouldn't you go home you know what I got you know what they say you don't want to swim or go to prison on an empty stomach so absolutely fucking time for a snack yeah absolutely so they walked into Ellen's house and the constable was surprised to see Ned who was supposed to have been on the run and far away okay

shit went crazy fast always a good beginning someone shot a gun and then a horse probably ran into that person and then Ellen Kelly hit the constable with a shovel on the head wait that really happens yeah okay and then Ned shot him in the wrist oh what is their technique here to make sure he could point them out with one hand I think just stop him uh-huh take the rest when he came to take that when he came to all the Kelly's started attacking him again except morning bitch except except Ned held them off Ned then dug the bullet out of the constable's wrist and told them he could leave the constable was

like what's happening constable Fitzpatrick's recovery was long and slow three of the Kelly's were arrested including Ned's mom Ellen Ned Dan and friends Joe Bearn and Steve Hart went on the run Joe beard burn burn burn Melbourne yeah Melbourne but then now we're nervous to say any point any way of I'm terrified of any vowel in this guy and then his friend right him and his pal uh-huh and meh step step dad George had already run out on the family six months before Melbourne weekly times basically called Constable Fitzpatrick a moron quote you mean a moron quote if Constable Fitzpatrick did not know what

the Kelly that the Kelly's were so armed he ought to have known the constable's wound is not dangerous but a man with a bullet in his wrist is certainly still a casualty of battle we've learned that Constable Fitzpatrick although a plucky fellow is an inexperienced policeman it is also stated that he cut the bullet out of his own wrist we should have thought it be better to have carried his honors with him instead of in his pocket what just happened they're just dicks what do they they call them a plucky fellow yep what is he's feathery no he's like plucky yeah hey how you doing like that kind of guy what is that

even what he's got he's popping and locking yeah what's up why are you doing little guys how you don't have a plucky little fella it's like that okay so to someone listening what is a plucky person no he shakes his shoulders and he moves about okay hello how are you doing there okay sure thing that I'm plucky we're right that was a very plucky you didn't move enough I don't know what the fuck it is hey I'm plucky how you doing there it's not very different now Ned of course had a different story from the constable he said that when the constable and Dan arrived Ellen told Dan he didn't have

to go if the constable did not have a warrant which caused the constable to pull out his pistol and yell I will blow your brains out if you interfere at Ellen then Dan said there's Ned coming now as a joke but then there was a fight and the constable was was not shot who that's why there was no bullet in his wrist because he made it up and and Ned wasn't there that's what Ned said so they're different there's a bit of a cousin between I mean I you can't I you there's no way that there's any time in history when the police have overreacted and said stuff like that and acted like that so between these two scenarios you're

taking the second one I'm just saying okay so you're taking the one where the constable wasn't shot no I'm just I'm making a comparison to our nation where we live wherever all the cops are shooting people ever heard about it in May Ned robbed a boy near the town of Oxley taking his horse a watch and 14 pounds it was also believe he stuck up a young girl and you know took her stuff he's taking candy from babies yeah he's basically how old is he at this point he's like six 17 maybe he's 17 yeah he's yeah he's just he's just gonna get his GED soon he's gonna get on the right track yeah he'll think he'll

figure this out yeah now I think he's a little bit older because he's been in prison yeah he's probably got to be like 20 20 yeah he's in his 20s 20s better than this makes sense I forgot I forgot I've got to be in a jail for three years yeah you had three years in jail so now the police are on his trail nine police in different groups were searching for the what is now known as the Kelly gang they were in a in mountain ranges quote infested with a brotherhood of Kelly's Lloyd's Quinn's and other in interconnected Irish families does that mean

interconnected well yeah I'm sure there was some of that sounds a little but they're but they're all the families are marrying each other and but eventually they met yeah yeah eventually accidentally you have no choice yeah it's a sister or cousin or something oh we've all been there oh you're my brother hi I've loved you since the day that you were my baby cousin members so the members of these families have been marrying each other for years and years one of the police parties decided to camp out in the open thinking Ned was a long ways off the laman split up with two of them going

down to the creek to look around Constable McIntyre was assigned to cook that day and that's what he was doing when he heard a noise mm-hmm he went out to look around didn't see anybody this sounds like Friday the 13th already like he's just out there well he goes out you didn't see anybody and then he shot two parrots huh rock you got the wrong ones at 5 p.m. he was with officer a Lonergan when they heard bail up throw up your arms they looked at the four man three with guns and one holding two rifles that was Ned McIntyre was unarmed so he put his hands up Lonergan ran for

some trees while he reached for his gun and he was shot in the temple he fell and yelled oh Christ I'm shot Jesus and then he died oh my god those are just can't believe they will say yeah honestly right through the temple ah shit my brains I don't think it's good it's a hell of a brain yeah that's unlike the chicken brain it's impressive yeah to have like the end to be able to have last words after being shot that sure you could have chosen them better be nice to each other you know let's still it's get nice to get something out I mean it's better than like fuck my temple what about a stop killing parrots they

didn't do it they didn't do it hey you want the one-armed bird Ned said quote what a pity what made that fool run Ned well you guys with your guns it but it seems that he doesn't own a lot of his mistakes I feel like he didn't make a mistake that the guy running made the mistake I mean someone comes up and goes don't move crazy stance but if someone comes up and goes don't move and you're like I'm running now can't take the side of the dude shooting people in the temple I'm not sure I mean I'm sure he's got a lot of redeeming qualities too the Kelly gang then took what they wanted from the tent and both

cops guns Ned told McIntyre it was stupid to look for him in the ranges and he said it was a shame to see a fine big strapping of fellows like you in a lazy loafing job like a policeman so yeah backhanded yep he asked where the other two men were there was some discussion about what would happen to them Ned said he wouldn't shoot men who had their arms up and he just wanted a decent night's sleep and will let them go in the morning the gang then made tea and drank it with McIntyre not iced tea I can tell you that they they all drank tea together may tea before the other two yep what else you can do I guess you

drink tea in that situation yeah yeah we have a nice combo sure you know fishing for topics the whole time what else what else boy you are fucking crazy what did I want to say this is lovely lovely tea have I told you the one about the cows nuts whoo yeah I remember that one whoo this is nice yeah who's just nice to hang out with somebody yeah you know it's nice to see somebody yeah it's good to yeah whoo what are those parrots ah yeah those are dead yeah pirates they didn't they won't speak anymore don't you worry about cash just nice to have a glass of tea whoo just lovely hidden it catch up be friend I love what you've

done in here this is is this do I live here is this where you live this view yeah no I love what I've done in here it's just unbelievable isn't it unreal what I've done in here it's a tent yeah it's a great point unbelievable point it is just a tent so what am I even who am I even say I'm not even I shouldn't even be talking about it you know just hang out and yeah so that's yeah no it's just nice inside here because you know it's a tent and obviously yeah what a day I remember 20 minutes ago yeah yeah yeah right it's temple yeah right right yeah that was you yeah no that happened for sure no but I don't even you know

whatever either way it's just nice to be with friends and you are a friend can I say that you're a pal okay I don't I don't know you that well no no you're right you know I move fast it might be a little nervous but you're right absolutely I shouldn't have said that you're right again obviously you just it when are you wrong that's my question oh man I am this is really going to my head to this is what is this English breakfast yeah it's one real that's a very oh shake it over here don't know why nothing to do with you has to do with a T for sure gosh would you look at this unbelievable in here in that it's just

nice place to get away every now and then oh yeah absolutely have you tried have you tried not talking oh hey let me beat you to that I'm done talking absolutely yeah I don't want yeah a lot of times what I do my thing if my wife is all over me about this one I just well chat chat chat a lot of times when people say stop out you know and I keep going but that is a point well taken I just wanted to say to you that you know everything everything is fine and you know either way so let's just silent game begins now and it's not a game it's just a couple of guys doing it and you don't have to do it I'll do it you can

talk if you want to talk and if you want me to answer I'll answer but what I'll stop doing is being the only one talking okay that I'll cut out because I'll tell you what it's awkward and it's a bad habit and bad habits don't break fucking easy do they and I should break this one right now and I will say T's unbelievable love what I done with this place you've done nothing wrong great to fucking be here I'll stop talking start it now do you live around here when the other two cops came back Mac entire told them to surrender okay they thought it was a joke weird weird would be weird timing for that yeah one reach for his

gun and immediately shot and was immediately shot at but missed so he gave up the other one ran for a tree with a Spencer rifle and he was shot and killed the second guy should not have run yeah but you need your individual wake-up call but the first guy you were you were that's when you were like no he should have run but now this guy shouldn't have run no because the guy the shot happened you're like oh shit he's not joking he thought he was joking I mean this isn't balls in an envelope it's not a prank this is real shit Mac entire took this moment to jump on a horse and take off down the creek like

his move feel like you're very inconsistent I like his eye does he get away yeah I like his move what about the back that he's being a total coward and leaving his other cops well fair but the one guy's dead so how many other cops are there's just two are dead now and now there's one one yeah and he he's yeah he's listen bad news bro got a family but he's talking the whole way it was great to meet you I'm saying take off oh boy get some of this water for a China man Macintyre went to the police station to report what had happened but there were only two guns at the police station he's a cop right yeah okay they're

all cops two of them aren't cops anymore mm-hmm well they're not they're not they're not part of zombie PD the police went to the campsite and found the bodies the tent was burned and everything else was stolen or destroyed they could not find Sergeant Kennedy 200 pounds was offered as a reward for the gang they knew who the Kellys were but the two other members of the gang had not been identified Macintyre's descriptions were as follows quote first man 21 5 feet high slight build very fair complexion whiskers beard and mustache thin mild expression of features he had it all second man does

that help anyone on finding somebody a mild expression of features everything is just so vague he had a mild expression of features like the guy the artist is like what was mild yeah like he had facial expressions but not big yes you'll know him when you see him okay look at look at me they're like this okay like this mild like this they keep changing they're mild like this I'll do a cartoon strip for this I think that'll be their mild like this you fucking asshole I put that up on Instagram huge I knew you're such a prick you just I could tell you what you think I was doing holding it weird but I was like he's

recording something or poor there was like a canatcha pin behind me and you were Pokemoning or some shit there's not a lot of good Pokemon around here okay too real honestly that was like a rogue laugh the second man 19 stout build only a few straggling hairs on his face and a sinister expression sure now let me ask you this could he change that expression if need be oh no it's very sinister he had a frozen expression on his face always no not frozen sinister right but he never changed he my point is he could probably change the expression right you're just saying what you saw him as I mean it was very

sinister face right understood totally what I'm saying is could he smile are you drawn like a like an active face like is it it is it like a jiff I've been trying to meme my biggest sin the stir is my face it says it's not good it's in the early it's not a good meme yet no no it's not I've got other pitches and when we when we get computers it's gonna be something you think those rumors are true yeah Trump's gonna be president you know on November 1st 1878 it was reported Sergeant Kennedy's body was found it appeared he had tried to escape on foot but he couldn't escape on horse because McIntyre had taken his

horse all right I feel bad good Lord now how do you say this the city waga waga yeah a normal person gilong gilong gilong like like the T gelong gelong seriously to ease gelong Dave we're just gonna you know fuck the other one that we're gonna do okay why why have why have letters Dave why haven't why have them all Dave Dave come on we're guests what's the what's the point of letters we're guests were you that angry we're guests we are gonna change them all why don't you why don't you do it we didn't get rid of the fucking queen keep

that shit to the curb and then I'll take that attitude a little more seriously but right now you still got that lady on your coin now oh you don't fucking start up okay according to the wait pronounce it gelong all right going to the gelong app by the way they had a great game last night yeah going to the gelong advertiser which went on went we went on to call McIntyre a coward there was clearly a gunfight between Kennedy and the gang and he seemed to have hid behind a tree until he ran out of ammunition he was shot in the side of the head which went out the front taking off part of his face oh his right ear was also cut off

cut off after yeah that'll happen in a gunfight no not I think before maybe or maybe after maybe they're like oh that looks good well let's take this part of him yeah but that is like a I feel like maybe your gesture I feel like maybe they were they were torturing him just cutting off so they were just reservoiring dog in this fucking dude and yeah then shot him in the temple then he ran because right I understand okay sorry yeah they didn't shoot him in the temple through the side of the head and then part of his face came off it's the temple but I you're right it's not the temple side of the head okay so the head

doesn't mean your temple no it doesn't could have been right here yeah I guess if your face gets shot off that's it if I was a medical examer that's what I would do it was written in the paper that Kennedy had a heroic ending and the paper said many men in Melbourne were comment commenting quote I should like to go up to attend that fine fellow's funeral open casket got to just roll him on his side like he's spooning someone that's how you do that if you work in the morgue no don't roll him over even if he snores I mean the nice thing is that's his good eye look at that and then they're just just be a

little pile of the rest of his face yeah yeah we're just trying to describe in detail you don't hear pile of face very much now now we've got to the open casket but where would you like the pile of face we're doing Phantom of the Operator this month so we'll just take it we could put it on top we could put it in a bouquet up on top if you just have a little pile of things something sort of avant-garde maybe put it on top of his head so we'll sort of like a hat like a little face hot a font and let's just close the casket now that we talk about it yeah that's fair that route yeah it's got a big part of his face missing so

that makes sense I didn't want to have to try to fix that perfect we'll take the we'll take that half but do you want to pile a face in there too no I'm being very clear we'll take that half of it wrote yeah close the casket we'll take the half we have we want to we have some stuff we want to do I'm sorry we want to take it you want to take what to half of the face that's off right what do you mean take it we're gonna we want it oh for a key bet for keepsies for keepsies exactly yeah yeah keepsies part of the face are you not collecting the rest of the body no it sounds disgusting we're not weird so just that half of the face

would be nice yeah okay we're gonna put it on a dog like a sweater oh that's fair yeah right through what one third one like through the way there's holes so I'm sorry hmm what did you say I didn't you said something at the end I said nothing I've not said anything I was thinking I haven't said anything for about 20 minutes so I know you said a lot have I yeah I'm just so oh just weeping over here but uh yeah just put it in the doggie bag to go don't want to dine in we're not eating it oh you forgot you know what you forgot you almost forgot your bag classic us anyway here's a dollar

next to Constable mehan went missing his horse was found miles away a search was made for him when he was found he said he had been cornered by one of the Kelly gang who followed him down a road mehan was unarmed so to escape capture he jumped off his horse and ran down the broken river everyone concluded mehan was full of shit it was he with one paper writing quote it is a stigma to force that one of its number should be capable of flying in a state of abject terror from a single pursuer okay so yeah they're calling him a giant pussy was he a giant pussy yeah I it sounds like he just made it up to try to get you

know a little tension right right cute they believe Ned had made for New South Wales and was probably they already that telegraph came saying Ned had robbed a man at oh fuck on the one noz well that's better than mispronouncing it they don't know what it is Bung-o but what that I don't want any part of this yeah at the stage sir oh nope hey oh what no sir yoke comes from eggs b-u-n-g-o-w-a-n-a-z-h a bung-o waza fair does anyone know it interesting isn't it a missing city Bung-o waza waza he was out to told Bung-o witness ah obviously Bung-o in his

eyes in North New South Wales Bung-o-waza the gang was seen by two farmers and they also robbed one George Munger near a lagoon they demanded provisions and held them for three hours until the paper until the provisions came yes the papers called Ned Kelly a most vindictive and bloodthirsty character they said he threatened what Bush Rangers called colonial law Ned was waiting to see if his mother was convicted if she was innocent he said he would give himself up but if she was convicted Ned said he was going to shoot every man that had anything to do with bringing about the conviction well Ellen

was convicted I was just gonna say on this podcast it's not normally and she got off and he retired yep he'd seen the air of his ways now the mom was out so he's going to kill everybody involved route that's that's the plan all right rumors swirl that the gang have been stocking up supplies in putting them in different places in the ranges so they could stay on the run for months they also had a lot of people that they were connected to by blood and marriage who would give them aid in the area meanwhile the police groups searching for the Kelly gang were not well-equipped one group of five policemen from Greta

had one rifle wait how many that they had borrowed how many people five policemen five people had one rifle yeah okay what is go ahead and shoot then I'll shoot just hand it off all right everybody grab your partner's hips we're making a conga line all right when we're ready to shoot top the person in front of you is thigh there we go saying up yeah saying bang because we don't have a gun all right the police were all complaining they didn't have enough rifle or rifles or ammo the government the government finally bought some as they were looking stupid at this point from a paper quote the government has

purchased about 30 double-barreled breach loading pieces which are stated to be very effective weapons and the most suitable kind for the use of those who are not trained marksmen wait yep they make guns for people with bad aim yeah they're basically saying the cops can't shoot for shit so they give them they they're giving them guns that are aimed part of the pun towards people who don't know how to aim they're guns for people who can't shoot very well okay dokey how do you make a gun they can't because right it's just shoot scattershot yeah all right an excellent spirit pervades the police force now and

men from all parts of the colony have volunteered for special service several constables went to Bungalowah Bungalowah Z where it was believed the Kelly gang would try to cross the river there was also now a large force along the border and every crossing was being watched a group of four men on horseback were arrested were arrested but they turned out to just be sheep shears how do you make that mistake yeah we've just got the cutty things how we do is just trim them which we trim the trim them all day it's all trim the sheep please no okay sometimes late at night things get a little weird look if look look look if

you want to look look look look look look look look look look look look look look we're not gonna listen to me we're not gonna have sex with each other so you know we have some time and we will say that we these we know we each have one it's not like we're just like wife swapping okay we're not what do we what are we talking about huh we have one what are we talking about the back end have you guys not been having sex with a sheep no no me neither no none of the we're shears we're sheep shears for the last time get it through your thick skulls we're not crazy why are you

talking about this to the police I don't yeah yeah I'm happily married so unless I get a haul pass when the cats away the sheep are gay is that not an expression you know I'm dead talking this is off record it's not you're on move you're unbelievable investigators though Coleman the case you are quote police patrolling both banks of the Murray River were fired on last night by another party of police blue lives matter dude so the cops are shooting at the cops on accident saw other guys that look like look there's a group of guys over there right right some understanding should come so that the

various police and volunteer parties might recognize each other and so prevent such a dangerous mistake being repeated they should do that maybe what about a police hat something of that nature sure like a uniform that's amazing that's great so they were not in uniform so how did you know I just assumed I mean if they're saying they should there should be an understanding I don't know what kind of standing they would be you if you're in a group you're like we're not them we're not them like what else are you gonna fucking do I mean I think we've got our solution I think that we'd look no further than the we're not them

theme yeah we're not them we're also not them turns out that we're also not them gang was them they knew our code Ned said about the police quote I kept them in good employment and got them double pay and yet they're ungrateful that's fair I mean it's getting them extra money fucking work and they're like we want to kill you yeah right yeah that's pretty good on November 1st 1878 the Victorian Parliament raised the reward for the capture of the Kelly gang to 500 pounds and past the felons apprehension act okay the act which okay yeah it sounds like they made crime

illegal essentially yeah okay the act outlawed the Kelly gang and made it possible for anyone to shoot them wait okay so this is this is what Australia is done wait what it was there's some bad guys right and they made those bad guys the illegal and said anybody can anybody can kill them and then you wouldn't be a murder you can just anybody can just shoot them making it's it's a government solution I can't tell how I feel about that I think it's crazy yeah oh no it's but I also think that like in this era you're like all right all right all right

let's have a little fun murders legal it's the purge sort of just for four yeah there's four people purge the act also penalized anyone who quote Harvard gave aid shelter or sustenance to the gang or withheld or gave false information about them to authorities the sentence for some crimes would be in imprisonment with or without hard labor for such period not exceeding 15 years see if you just helped them out you get 15 game of possible hard labor yeah the deadline for the gang to voluntary very voluntarily surrender was set November 12th sorry it's a 12 days four of Ned's coven cousins turn themselves in to let

it be known they were not part of the Kelly gang at this point the llama knew who four of the members of the gang sorry the who at this point the cops had figured out who they all were that it was why did it sound like you said llama lawman law I said I said a lot lawmen lawman okay lawn men is that what you thought I heard llama oh yeah there's llamas well that's an interesting wrinkle is this the first we've heard of it or did I black out for a portion again we've been talking about llamas this entire time I know no I know I'm not an idiot you know I know I remember so the llamas the police llamas not the

criminal ones right thank you but now all llamas are criminals oh right Monday December 9th the Kelly gang rode onto a sheep ranch called the Faithful's Creek they took all the male employees and some railway laborers farmers and others hostage they held the ranch for two days two would watch while two slept the gang destroyed the telegraph lines a line repairer came out later that day and he was taken prisoner hmm tough job if you get that assignment to they've cut the telegraph feed go fix it fuck really yeah what if a what if a policeman goes you mean a llama the llama lawmen they then made their plan

they then made plans to rob the bank at a fuck is that nearby your yori yoria you you are away your Yoruba you guys went straight with that one huh that that time you're just gonna use all the letters Dave Dave we are guests in their nation Ned took a check from the ranch to took a what a check so he's at the ranch okay they're gonna go rob the bank so it takes a check from the ranch to take to the bank okay he's gonna use it well he's gonna use that as a way to get in right oh you couldn't get into the bank unless you were cashing there was like a bouncer there was a bank bouncer I gotta check and then they'd be like well

come on in stranger okay you're not just here for the free candy and pens come on in free candy and pens you know they have lollipops like you don't know a lot about old timey banking oh I think I do I think I know more about old timey banking out of the two of us what what kind of pens do you think they have the ones on the chain that you can't take but people take them off you know bring your own pen guys and that is a lesson that we should so when Ned got there it was after three and the bank was closed okay must have been a holiday okay that's it everybody home Ned knocked on the door and when a clerk opened it Ned said

he wanted to cash the check but they're closed and he was told it was close they're closed right yeah policy is a policy and they couldn't right so Ned pulled the gun and put it to the guy's head well and then pushed his way in and said I am Ned Kelly and they were all like oh hello a lot of people Rob banks to put money in them it's not it's not a real how much was the check for that's my lot I would have for a lot I wouldn't have taken I would just kept the check yeah smart so he's got this real check and he's in the bank no it's not let the check go I'll never let a check that's how we got in right but I hope he can't

as well the savings are checking I mean I think we all have questions where's he putting it I feel like we shouldn't have questions right okay Dan kept watch at the back door while Ned got the money he took about 2,000 pounds then was this check for that much it included the check money he cashed the check so the check was for less than 2,000 so now he's robbing yes well this is that's illegal and several knows then that went toward the private apartments where the bank manager's family was well that's quite a move right as well all right I'm going to your family let's get in there I'm gonna raise them like my own that's

what he does yeah all right I'm your daddy now here's gifts I just cashed a big check now the bank manager said later that he looked at Kelly and said Kelly if you go in there I will strike you whatever the consequences may be really death then Hart put a gun to the manager's head and they all went into the apartment the man and manager said his wife and kids are pretty calm so he decided not to strike net cuz they took it well yeah cuz they were like oh hi oh I thought you guys were gonna freak out this is okay can we set a place for one more I guess

Ned you're coming over for those four guys well I mean I they can share I don't know how many placemats do we have to a do we have enough silverware did you make enough is the question I'm hungry what why are you covering your microphone private conversation I don't want to have a microphone in the house huh why did you keep pretending like you have a microphone and baby what why do you keep pretending like we have a microphone in the house we don't have microphone we don't have we don't have my set one more place for four microphones haven't been invented then what am I doing okay it's fair all those at the bank were

taken over to faithful Creek's ranch though Stephen Hart stayed to have lunch at the local hotel that's a cool move basically I'm starving no one no one else in the town knew what happened so he's like I'm gonna grab a meal if that's cool you guys good but that as they prepared to leave the ranch Ned told the ranch overseer to hold everyone else prisoner for three hours Ned said quote if any of you leave before then we will find you out and make it hot for you make it hot make it hot it'll be fucking hot sorry just rain and lava to be clear yes are you threat you're threatening us right with heat the

hotness a lot of heat or just like a like a sauna will be put a very luxurious activity putting you in a steam bath I'd love a steam bath I might have it no we'll turn it up I love nice and warm that sounds terrific yeah no it'd be great yeah okay so so don't do it no I'm gonna say something I'd love a spa weekend it sounds like it's not a spa weekend it's gonna be really hot that sounds great it's good for your parts it's a nice no what it's too much people it's definitely coming off skin and whatnot and face parts oh murder super hot right you're gonna murder us I'm just gonna turn up the

heat well it sounds like a spa trip again I don't know it's not a spot it there's a there's a very big difference between killing a man and then making things hot for him it's not a spa it's more than a spa you coming on to me you take the money you are coming on to me I'm done robbing you I'll tell you that right now fuck off I can't stay mad at you then the Kelly gang left the overseer let the prisoners outside but didn't let them leave for three hours as instructed at four o'clock in the morning a party of troopers with a black tracker arrived what's a black tracker hey guys

what's a black tracker oh boy I'll tell you what I don't like the setup I don't want to know anybody want to say it why about one person yeah it's an indigenous person well they just well well well casually referred to as a black tracker okay well coming from a country like America we did not have racism and at least our terms were far more vicious just yes so they use the term black tracker why do okay just cut the paper that's straight out of the newspapers oh okay so it's a fact black factor three days 50 additional armed policemen and 50 of the garrison core

were sent to guard township banks some female clothing was found at the sheep ranch after the game what gang left well maybe a wizard turned a lady into a sheep ever thought about that no same there was a hat a veil etc other stuff Steve Hart a member of the gang was said to have a slender figure and a boyish face with general good looks again how do you like you could never find anybody oh damn so what I'm saying is if we were part of a crime do I would put you in a dress sorry and I was in town to get information that is absolutely true yes if that were to happen I would absolutely one point be like oh I don't

know my husband has never said anything about it so he he would dress up as a lady and then go into towns and spy and try to find an information great yeah some said he actually walked through the police station at Mansfield that's the one I use where we sit down for both my story checks out one day was when Steve was all dolled up did he look he looked good he was all dolled up and he was a few miles outside of Mansfield Mansfield when a group of people saw him and told her they were worried to see a woman riding alone oh that's a chair no no no I'm quite capable how you look strong but I'll be fine no need to

investigate this further I'm a lady for sure they asked if she was afraid of running into the Kelly gang oh no no I'm getting emotional I'll be fine oh go away she said no and said she wasn't afraid of the police either at that point she showed them her revolvers and then rode off that's testicles right oh do you think you're fucking with the group thought she was a very courageous woman so they still thought woman even at the wow what a lady she's really something huh oh look at her go whoa whoa she's got enough to quit and here it legs just how we like them reminds you of those sheep huh what

huh what did you say I didn't you said something I said nothing I've never been men yep yeah in February 1879 the gang made another raid this time in New South Wales they rode through fuck it's a popular town the road into gerildery they got it well very well the what I think he said yoke again I said yoking come on quit yoking around the township had a telegraph station a courthouse a lock-up several hotels and also a branch of the bank of New South Wales 200 people live there the gang gang entered the police station pulled their guns and locked the cops in their own jail gray move fuck that's got to be so

satisfying just go into the like the honestly first thing lock up them and then whatever well I did it well shit I didn't think of this they have the keys to fuck what are you in for well I'm a I'm an officer who small world indeed I to a man of the budge why are you talking like that I just always wanted to know would it be like on the other side well you know what's next what huh lunch lunch lunch is soon lunch lunch I thought she meant and then you know what's followed after that this dessert whether you're like it or not it's time for a nap we'll be exhausted we'll carb up what I heard get a nap but once you wake up from the

nap you know what happens in no I take off my trousers and piss in the toilet because it's right there you've seen it a million times but then when it gets dark why do you do you know what happens then I have a question why are you taking off your whole trousers to glue I'm five years old you know I like to drop them all the way down okay I didn't know I just love that but Japanese businessman sort of thing when it gets dark you know what huh no sleeping I think I sleep that's exactly yep nice night sleep okay you know how I'm gonna wake you up in the morning I'd rather not know pancakes

they deserve them how are you gonna make when we're in the jail after I have sex with you it's a clear chronology good to get away though isn't it vacation from ourselves so when they locked up the cops it was Saturday they then what they then wait that means they can't get out till Monday that's how well they waited until Monday that's the law and then they went to the telegraph office where they made the clerks cut the wires and then took them to jail they found the bank manager in his bath at home this is a surprise he and two clerks were taken to the Royal Hotel where a few townspeople were

already being held the bank was then the two clerks weren't in the bath area yeah they were yeah he he this bank manager everybody bathed together okay all right for a second the bank was that ransacked 2,000 pound was taken and deed securities and books etc were burned the rest of the day the gang controlled the town they made the townspeople cut down eight of the telegraph poles the gang had drinks at the Royal Hotel and Ned Kelly gave his manifesto to the manager of the bank and made him promised to have it published you promised now you know this you'll publish it absolutely this you'll make

sure it's published absolutely at my word save save like a you are making a deposit and I will make sure it's clear yes not a deposit you'll publish this I will publish it as a deposit and you're saying you're not understanding me understand completely you want to public I get it you want to publish your manifesto I could shoot you in the face right sign it on the back make sure you endorse it I'll deposit it okay I'm just gonna go ahead and kill I'm a bank manager and I I'm going to see things in bank managerial way I'm going to kill myself well that's it's gonna be an overdraft it'll be the end of it you get

charged for that the manifesto is 56 pages and had been trans 56 pages yep oh man and have lots of pictures probably and have been no and they tried transcribed by gang member Joe Byrne but it was not published as instructed the bank manager gave it to the police okay if I can kill that guy you're gonna kill that guy sorry sometimes I inhabit my characters I don't know if that was clear you were being a character you said I'm gonna kill that guy I'm pretty upset okay yeah but I have to make a time machine I'm gonna kill that guy Ned's manifesto was filled

with tidbits like quote but as for handcuffing sergeant Kennedy to a tree or cutting his ear off or brutally treating him any of them is a falsehood if Kennedy's ear was cut off it was not done by me and none of my mates was near him after he was shot I put his cloak over him and left him as well I could and where they my own brothers I could not have been more sorry for them this cannot be called willful murder for I was compelled to shoot them or lie down or let them shoot me there's no punctuation in the whole things all 56 pages so it's a run-up no punctuation so it's worse than murder it's worse than

murder you're going to grammar jail mister the gang now I've been on the run for 18 months the reward was increased to 4,000 pounds Ned was constantly kept informed by his friends and relatives about the movements of the police while they told reporters and police false information to send them in the wrong direction on June 28th 1880 Aaron Sherrod was inside of his house when a German man who he knew called for him to come out sorry a cherry man German German cherry German cherry German very red German man excuse me a big red German came to get him big red German guy

a cherry with a German accent a German a German when he did call out can we please make a movie about a guy in australia it's me the fruity cherry one I'm ready to talk watch out when he did Kelly gang member Joe burn shot him through the head oh that's gonna leave a mark that guy's not real that's the that's guys fake turns out I'm not even a real person I was a figment of everyone's imagination well it's a real person but they're pretending to be him no what I'm saying is I'm actually real okay am I becoming Irish yep I think we all are inside inside the house there

was a group of policemen but they did not fire a shot they were framed from shooting because it was dark outside and there was a fire inside which meant they could not see the gang but the gang could see them if they moved the Kelly gang then shot through the house and eventually tried to burn it down the gang stayed outside until six o'clock in the morning when they finally rode off Sherrod had been a friend of the gang but at some point probably when he the reward hit 4k he started working with the police didn't work out well late june 1880 the station train master at the town of

Glen Rowan was awakened by a knock at the door at three in the morning Ned burst in and told them to come and take up the train tracks Ned waited while he got dressed so wait he broke wait that came into his house yeah and said we're gonna take up the train tracks get rid of the train oh get rid of the train tracks right but train tracks and trains are different things yeah but that's to stop the train obviously but yeah it's not gonna be great for the train well that's what i'm talking about

you need those tracks uh when the two men got to the tracks they saw eight other men Ned said now you direct those men how to raise some of the rails as we expect a special train very soon Ned told them not to signal the coming train a special train was on the way from Melbourne with an inspector and five black trackers i had to say again as well as a superintendent with eight troopers and their horses but word got to them that the Kelly gang had ripped up the tracks and were waiting for them so the

laman stopped the train and rushed out they ran into local policemen who said they just escaped from the Kelly's and that the gang was at the Jones hotel close to the train station all the men advanced on the hotel as they got near the gang came out on the veranda and started shooting the laman then shot four saddled horses out back well llamas hate horses bullets were flying everywhere hitting the station building and the train the shooting went on for about 15 minutes the whole time women who were hostages in the hotel were screaming then everything went quiet

no one could see anything because of all the smoke a loud scream came from the hotel it was the landlady mrs jones her son had been shot in the back she walked out of the hotel crying and wandered into the bush then she'd come back out of the bush and then go back into the bush and she kept doing that she was having sex no oh so she'd run into the bush so she was sort of running suicides at this point she's just freaking out in and out of the

bush it's australia what's her angle she's her sun shot she's not handling it well but you got to pick i mean at some point yeah you got to get in or out of the bush well they they grabbed her at some point said stop going in the bush what is the bush narnia what am i i don't know why no one stopped her but she kept going in and out and they were all like at some point you're like jesus god what is she doing

i'm inside it now i'm out of it i'm inside it finally now i'm out again it got her to cough summer salt in finally they got her to come back in my head's peaking out what am i doing uh finally one of the hostages helped her take her son out and they took her him to the next town for treatment and at dawn the kelly gang allowed the women and children in the hotel to leave each person was checked though because who knew if the gang would try to dress like a woman to get out

right yeah the laman state focused on the hotel believing the entire gang was in there that's when they were surprised when they were attacked from behind they turned around to see a man dressed in a long overcoat and wearing an iron mask here we go all he had was a revolver he calmly walked from tree to tree and took bullets from the police with indifference as he returned fire wait he's grabbing the bullet wait no they're just shooting wait what did you see he's iron man he is iron man they've taken with indifference

in other words they're not doing anything the shots just hit him and he's like whatever so he's doing that north hollywood move where he's made himself fucking bulletproof he's the original north hollywood shootout man okay he calmly walked from tree to tree and took the bullets the police kept firing but it seemed like he was bulletproof it was ned the shooting stopped momentarily and ned yelled quote come on you bastard the bloody police can't do any harm to us ned then stepped out he was wearing

armor of iron a quarter inch thick it was a long breastplate shoulder plates back guard and a helmet so i mean and nobody i mean this is the first time anyone has been like in the last yeah well not the i mean remember north hollywood i know but at this point like no this is the first time i ever put on fucking armor anybody made themselves bulletproof yeah the first like the watch in the cop's face is still like what's uh send a new llama um the helmet looked like a nail can with a crown and had a long slit through it

so you can look through it like a little yeah like a revealing but the armor suit was believed to have been made by two men who lived in nearby towns the iron was stolen from farmers plows it turns out thefts from farmers plows had become common in the area as of late weird yeah do you think there was a connection nope me neither the police suspected the thefts were leading up to something ned's armor weighed 97 pounds or 44 kilograms well i bulletproof you will outrun this this is oh bad idea talk talk give you some bullets for a little water it is not

cold in here so i just still then realized ned was encased in armor so he shot at his legs which were not covered in he didn't cover the legs i mean no so you're just gonna like slowly was a small flaw in the suit of armor i mean when you hear a shoot the legs are like uh what no no no legs legs off limits i that's not way stop way stop hi hi hi oh my fucking legs shit they're just regular fuck as fuck shut the head sorry to steal shot at his legs

ned staggered a second shot dropped him and now yet ned yelled out i'm done i'm done yeah that'll do that's good all right that's it uncle i'm done his wounds uh or two on the right arm several on the right leg one on the left foot one on the right hand and two near the groin there were five bullets so wait he like again halfway to genius but he left the groin legs and the arms exposed i mean yeah the groin's a weird call yeah i would have the arms and the legs i would have tons of metal there very well you always do

whenever we travel you i i care i have a 19 pound groin without the metal once you metal up it gets heavy that's before yeah that's pretty metal on i put the metal on it it's about 44 pounds yeah that's why they call me a four to four pound balls oh that is why yeah oh i thought it was a and then your dad was called that or something there were five bullet marks on the helmet okay three on the breastplate

and nine on the back plate and one on the shoulder plate a witness quote the police thought he was a fiend seeing their rifle bullets were sliding off him like hail they were firing into him at about 10 yards in the grim light of the morning without the slightest effect 10 yards the well this isn't good the force of the rifle bullets made him stagger when hit but it was only when they got him on the legs and arms that he reluctantly fell now the farmers about here have been getting their iron boards taken off their plows at night

for a long time but whoever dreamed it was the kelly's and they would be used for such a purpose ned's armored shootout with the police lasted for a half hour that's a long fucking time yeah it's just at the end so he had like a trench coat right yeah so he was sort of like they'll think the legs are bulletproof and oh yeah probably yeah he was like yeah and if they shoot once i'll just be like didn't feel anything but then they shot his penis and he was like oh my dick not no arms are dick well that was the weird thing he actually had a hole and the dick was just out

i get it because he might he was like i might have to pee yeah but right you don't want to get out of it ned was lying on a stretcher quite calm and collected notwithstanding the great pain he must have suffered to know my legs hurt but i'll be okay ned does not at all this is still the guy ned does not at all look like a murder and a bush ranger he's a very powerful man aged about 27 with black hair he's 27 beard and with a mild soft looking face

sure again very specific he had a soft looking face you know the type like one you could put your hand through yeah like very soft yeah like he's got cloud face it was like it it was like his skin was made of yogurt yeah and his features were just average you'll pick him out of a crowd he was a cloud with regular features his mouth was the only wicked portion of his face oh again easy and not just an expression after his capture he became very tame and conversed freely with those who knew

him i did not speak to him although i should have liked very much to ask why he never stuck up the bank of victoria hmm i mean it's just what wait there was a guy there who watched him get shot and watched the whole thing and then the only thing you want to ask him was how come you never uh why not the bank of victoria what it was too far very far my legs it was so far how are my legs looking can we take the iron off what about the question of like how'd you build the armor or one of the other millions of fucking awesome

questions you can ask me what are your parents like where are you from what do you do do you like bunnies does this feel weird uh but the rest of the kelly why don't you settle down ten years where do you see yourself the rest of the kelly gang was not done the shooting continued ned told the police they would fight until they were dead it would never give up a rumor went through the lamin outside that joe burn had been shot already when he was drinking a glass

of whiskey at the bar around five in the morning that turned out to be true but the other two kelly gang members continued shooting away until 10 o'clock in the morning when a white handkerchief was held out the door at that point 30 prisoners came out holding up their hands then the shooting continued good so it's a clear sign yeah i think they're sick and it went on until three in the afternoon when it stopped the police discussed the situation some believe the gang were reserving their ammo others

thinking that they were dead at that point a constable ran up to the house with some burning straw and put it on the ground at the side of the building and soon smoke was pouring out the roof at that moment a cannon arrived from a nearby town a what a cannon cannon about time i love that the town over had a cannon yeah just in case it's gonna take a while to get it there but it was decided that since the house was on fire they did need to shoot it with a cannon dude it took us all fucking day

you don't want it can't believe we came all the way here and we can't shoot our we had a birthday party we were gonna do what's the fucking difference the house is on fire can't we just shoot it now come on my boy came all this way let me shoot too or he thinks his dad's a pussy hmm a father gibney ran into the hotel and found the bodies of dan kelly and steve heart lying side by side they had shot each other or one had killed the other and then himself either way they were both dead the hotel burned down and the three bodies were taken out in

of the embers at that point they were just burned to a cinder just bones and skulls cool the crowd took souvenirs like hairs from the tail of Ned's horse pieces of the chart hotel at the end of all that it was left standing was a lamppost and the signboard the glen uh rowing in best accommodation that was all just that sign there nine men were dead it's not true anymore nope nine men were dead three policemen three civilians

who were caught in the hotel and the three members of the gang seven were wounded two policemen one volunteer one native tracker two bystanders and that kelly yes i changed that to native tracker Ned's trowel bought big crowds the courtroom was filled with young women who had a thing for Ned Ned was interviewed in jail by an inspector quote i could have gotten away last night but i wanted to see the thing and why don't the police use bullets instead of duck shot i have got one

charge of duck shot in my leg one policeman who was firing me was a splendid shot the bullets that struck my armor felt like the blows from a man's fist i wanted to fire into the train carriages but the police started on to us too quickly inspector you wanted then to kill the police in the train kelly yes of course of course i did and keep up where you been god helped them but would they not have tried to kill me so he wanted to kill everybody on the train he's being honest that was for sure yeah i wanted them to

die neva's tried and found guilty deliberations last about half an hour and returned it into court with a verdict verdict of guilty the judge said edward kelly the verdict pronounced by the jury is one which you must have fully suspected Ned said yes under the circumstances oh yeah i saw this coming yeah for sure yeah i'm not crazy come on uh the judge sentenced him to death and said may the lord have mercy on your soul and ned replied i will go a little

further than that and say i will see you where i go yeah he's he was kind of a good mic trap yeah say in hell fuck face kelly out well that's fine but there's no such things mics so dropping megaphone things over the next week up to six thousand people gathered at different local meetings to petition the governor to release net so he was just is just a hero of the people yeah right to you know the irish the poor the yeah right

my people on november 11th 1880 ned kelly was executed at 10 o'clock in the morning in front of about 30 people there were a few journalists there low turnout no bad not bad turn how are the numbers oh fuck oh really what is this out of late there are a few journalists there and they all reported he said something different i'm excited for the options the common belief is that ned's final words were such as life but i don't know what that meant

but none of the six uh wardens or clergy there heard that one reporter from melbourne wrote that the reporter from the argus wrote that ned said there is no need lion oh no there's no need to tie in me and then oh well i suppose it has come to this while the morning herald wrote he said oh well let's come to this at last either way they just all wrote different stuff you got it i mean you have time come up with something better well they said they they probably couldn't hear him because of all the noise like the

i mean i don't want to keep trying i don't want to keep trying parallels but yeah okay four thousand people gathered outside uh and were and were of the lower classes and our after his death and our after his death ned's hair and beard were shaved and plaster was applied to his face and had to make a death mask a what a death mask oh sorry i missed the party but that's very common back then they make a death mask yeah they make a mask like you're going into the hall of fame they can make a bust out of you

or you could or people could wear it for uh halloween or whatever or just to like a costume so you they would just make an imprint of the face just to have it yeah after they shaved him after he was yeah clean shame yeah well it's hard to make a death mask with hair sticks it's also possible to shave a man before death not if he is not into it the next day the mask was put on public display in the street and there were phrenology explanations given about how the shape of his head and face represented criminal

tendencies phrenology was a big player for a long time yeah it was great that was a hell of a run i can't believe it went away yeah the night after his execution his sister kate and brother james charged a shilling uh for a discussion at the apollahall where they told stories about net several hundred people paid and attended 90 claims to the reward uh to the capture of the kelly gang came in only erin charrette who netted shot and killed pretending he was the german guy was doing was given the reward money it was determined

seven native trackers got 50 pounds each but the board said quote it is undesirable to place any sum of money in the hands of persons unable to use it is that yep fair it doesn't feel fair no it's um fucked up yep right they get really weird they don't have as much funny fun with their um aboriginal uh just horrors as we do with our with our slavery they don't take it as jolly because we have a good we have a much better guys push it down and bury it that's bury it the policy that's been working for fun

look we're gonna build a wall things are we're doing well someone marry me is that the woman whose hotel was burned and uh who someone shot mrs jone asked for compensation but witnesses said she had invited the gang over and had been kissing ned so uh ned's body was thrown into a mass grave which was dug up in 1929 when they were building a new jail the construction workers were told the bodies would all be decomposed but that wasn't the case good because there are two

kinds of quick lime and the wrong one had been used which preserved the bones instead of disintegrating well you got to read the labels you really you got to make sure you're using the right one oh no we preserved them now this is gonna be really weird near the jail yard wall were the initials nk at that point there was a scramble as a bunch of schoolboys ran in and started grabbing the bones for souvenirs what Australia ned's head or skull whichever one went home with a guy named harry lee

he was a contractor he kept it by his bed where he and his wife slept for a few days what you know you said you wanted to spice it up not like this i'm scared shh let it sleep in between us oh i wish i could put it on and fuck you i'm doing an impression of him does that sound accurate let me give you a head after that harry lee gave it back to the authorities i feel weird she's being a bitch i don't know she doesn't get it you know what i mean yeah i think we're not right for each other

i'll be honest um we don't see eye to ned as uh many remains as could be found were put into 10 coffins and reburied then in 2000 that location was being converted into a commercial development but no one could remember where the coffins were so now the remains of ned kelly were going to be dug up again in 2009 using a green sash ned war when he was killed dna testing was done but it was inconclusive so they had to find a living relative of ned's which they eventually did

the id ned's body and even took two shotgun pellets out of his tibia still no skull then a western then a west australian farmer named tom baxter said he had the head well weird claim he said he got it in 1978 after it was stolen from a museum at the old melbourne jail he said he didn't steal it but that he just had it so so he'd been rubbing the skull and taking its powers

no i just actually a funny story a horse i didn't kick me right into the skull i didn't steal it but you know it came in the mail along with bowels they were like you should take care of this we've stolen it so you can care for it uh he didn't take the best care of it it was in a tupperware container in a uh i'm sorry he didn't take the best care of it it was in a burp it it was in a tupperware container in a log by a river

i don't see any issues with what happened someone dug up a picture of a contractor named alex talbot holding the skull in 1929 and it turns out alex did take a tooth from the skull which he had always kept in a little box it had been taken to school by kids in the family for show and tell for years you know they're gonna bring out the tooth we just have a hamster the tooth matched the skull and dna could be removed from the tooth and it was and it didn't match net

this meant that all it was just a regular tooth this meant that all those kids grabbing souvenirs in 1929 had been grabbing the wrong bones well now it's weird and that ned kelly's skull is still missing ellen hollow the great great granddaughter of the of net's sister said in a statement in 2011 we appealed to the person who asked the skull and their possession to return it so that when the time comes for net to be laid to rest for his remains can be complete

so what the dollop would like is for and i guarantee it's one of you one of you to just fucking give it back quit being weird there's no way the person who has that skull doesn't listen to the dollop i bet we'll be signing it after the show so but he that is a damaging story to hear here that is different than what the he's i don't think it's that much different right you guys kind of do all that yeah but he's a hero but he's a

he's like a national you guys love him i get it a little bit i mean he's a huge badass but also a murderer a murderer for sure he's your favorite favorite murderer he's our favorite murderer you know as far as murderers go i mean i like what i see i mean there's now update us with the llama stuff are they okay they all died oh david not like the penguins what do you guys hear the penguin okay enough um some weird shit is coming your way um

yeah well that's the end of our tour right yeah oh shit i know i know i know yeah we can't honestly we can't thank everybody enough everybody here and everybody for coming out we really appreciate it we will be back soon and um yeah it's the best here i'm getting emotional i just i miss the animals you guys no thank you so much everybody uh give it up for dav anthony we really appreciate it guys thank you

so much have a great evening thank you