The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 215 - Huey Long

Episode Date: November 1, 2016

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine Louisiana politician Huey Long. SOURCESTOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

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everything to you. Lease none on 2023 Tacoma Access Cab TRD off-road from 131 weekly for 60 months at 8.39% with 49.50 down in Statenayon. Visit shop Toyota.ca or your local Ontario Toyota dealer today. It's time to Toyota. You're listening to the dollop. This is a bi-weekly American History podcast. Each week I read a story from American history to my friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. I forgot the to my friend part. Yeah you completely blanked on your line. The one the one scripted line see how did it go on Marin? Were you just like I don't know. I

mean you saw I ran that fucking show. Okay all right let's everybody come. I mean I I made that show. Okay all right well Mark if you're listening well we do not yet. Even if someone was like hey they mentioned you on the dollop that wouldn't prompt a listen. I still wouldn't listen. Yeah. Do you want to look who to do. I'll do one bottle. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gareth. Dave okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun. And this is not going to come to tickling podcast. Okay. You are Queen Fakie of made-up town. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle and do a frame. Hi Gary. No. Is he done my friend. No. No. August 30th 1893. Okay. Huey Pierce Long was born in. Sorry already got to put him down. Wow. Fucking Jose. What is he doing. Is he doing drape stuff. Yeah. Oh he's playing

with the drapes. Curtain. Where'd he go Jose. What a ruiner right off the bat. That's probation. Okay. You twitch your tail. You're all mad. He is. Where am I drapes. Huey Pierce Long. Wow. What was that. He just literally slumped and sat on his ass like a human would. He's like all right. Huey Pierce Long was born in Winfield, Louisiana the seventh of nine children. His father became one of the largest landowners and livestock holders in the area. Their mother wanted the kids to read. Okay. So if they had a book she didn't have them do chores. Okay. That's actually not a bad idea. Great trade off. But then then a lot of shit doesn't get done. Right. True. When Huey was 14. It's almost like us with our

phones now. Like that's why the world around us is sort of crumbling because we're just looking down when you had a book. The dishes stacked. Totally. That's what we are. When he was 14 he campaigned at a polling precinct for Theo Wilkinson. You remember Theo Wilkinson. He was great. Oh man. That guy was money. Who went on to lose the race for Louisiana governor. Right. I remember that clearly. Do you remember where you were? Oh fuck. Yeah. I was. Ditto. Yep. But Huey was hooked. Quote all our members that the first time I knew anything about politics I was in. In high school Huey traveled the state on the debate team when he was junior. But just before he turned 17 he was kicked out of high school

for publishing a letter attacking the teachers. Okay. Kind of a zine. Yep. Anti teacher zine. Yeah. Huey then took a petition around Winfield and convinced a majority of the citizens to sign it and got the principal fired. Wow. That's like the guy you know like whenever someone right like runs for student council they like talk about all the stuff they're going to do. I'm going to get vending machines. Always the vending machines always. We're going to have pie. Friday's going to be pie day. You know just lofty lies. This guy's like I'll get the principal fired. Like buddy look aim low vending me ice cream sandwiches. That's your that's your market. This dude doesn't. I'm taking out the head. I'm taking

out the head of the hydra. Still. Huey did not even try to finish high school. He left Winfield. So wait. He got her. He got her. Him. I'm assuming. Oh yeah. It's got to be a 10. Yeah. Yeah. They were like a woman in charge. Oh my God. Fire her. Throw the woman at the man who thinks it's okay in the fire. But so he gets the principal fired and then it's like yeah you know. You know I did my thing. You know it wasn't even him. He left Winfield and got a job as a traveling salesman selling a large a large substitute made from cottonseed oil. Oh card. Right. Yeah. I don't card. He made $19 a week. After that he got a job in Memphis selling cured meats lard and canned goods. So lard's a big player with

this guy. Lard or lard spin offs are big with him. Well they always said the 1910 to 1917 the lard boom. Yeah that's the lard. The lard boom. It was the lard era. He met his quotas but ran through his expense account because he stayed in expensive hotels and ate in nice restaurants. He was then promptly fired. Then he got kicked out of the hotel room he was living in because he had no money and he ended up sleeping in parks depots and railroad yards. Let's take a real turn. In 1911 his mom talked him into moving to Oklahoma where his brother George was a dentist. She wanted he would become a minister but he decided he'd rather be a lawyer and he went to the University of Oklahoma Law School now. On his way there

he borrowed some money from George to go right and then on his way there he stopped in Oklahoma City and lost the money George had given him at a roulette wheel. It's bad. Bad. He then got a job as a salesman and worked while in law school but he didn't do that great while in law school. Okay. But he was a good salesman becoming a regional sales manager at 19. He was responsible for a four state area and several salesmen including his younger brother Earl. He was also one of those guys who never forgot a name. Okay. But that's 19. Yeah that's good. It's also never forgetting a name in this era. The names are insane. Oh yeah. Yeah. This is tapioca. Hello tapioca. I remember you from earlier. We met at the

ball. In April 1913 he married Rose McConnell. They married in a small ceremony and then he borrowed ten dollars from her to pay the minister. Honey. Hey baby. Baby baby baby. I love you. Hey babe. Yeah. I love you. I love you too. What a great wedding. This was wonderful. Wonderful. Thank you. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Oh my God. Now if I could just get ten dollars. I'm a little strapped. And what's ours. What's yours is mine. What we're up. We're an hour. We're an hour now. We have. Give me ten dollars. I got to pay the guy. Don't make this awkward. Don't be weird. Thanks. Sorry she was being so weird. Go. Shut up. Good Lord. You just don't shut up. Do you. In the best wedding ever. Right

after and the spring of 1914 he was laid off as regional manager and he started selling patent medicines including a laxative called the black draft. Oh wow. That's awful. Black draft a laxative named black draft. OK. I mean there's so many things wrong there. It's I think like it's like a three tiered issue I have. He also sold a wine of car dewy which was for women's relief. The main ingredient was alcohol. Wait the it's also a laxative or I was for women's relief when it was for the time of the month. Oh the answer was to just get them shit right. You mean rent. That's what I'm talking about. In September 1914 they moved to New Orleans and he went to Tulane University's law school didn't do

great. He completed two classes failed two others and did not show up for the final exam of another four classes. OK. The bar exam was scheduled for June but Huey was so broke that he petitioned the Chief Justice. So probably if you learn the petition game early. I know right. You know I just go I'm just going straight to the top on this one. You know what. He petitioned the Chief Justice of the Louisiana Supreme Court to let him take the bar exam early. Wow. And the Supreme Court Chief Justice let him. OK. Whatever. He's like well this kid's got some gumption. On May 15th Huey passed his oral bar exam becoming a 21 year old member of the Louisiana bar. Crazy. Right. Yeah. So he moves his family to Shreveport

where he mostly fought for small plaintiffs against large businesses. He made a name for himself by taking on the biggest businessman in town. OK. Then in 1918 at 25 Huey Long Jr. won a seat on the Louisiana Railroad Commission. OK. He put flyers everywhere and delivered speeches in every town. His campaign flyer said quote I was born on a farm. I'm a common man and my sympathies. I've always been with the masses. I am opposed by the privilege sleeker the privileged seekers and profiteers. OK. He became chairman of the Public Service Commission in 1922 and then he sued the Cumberland Telephone Company for unjustly raising its rates by 20 percent. He successfully argued the case before the U.S. Supreme Court and

telephone and the telephone company was forced to send the refund checks to 80,000 overcharged customers. Oh man. So all right. Yeah. Loving it. Loving it. Like he didn't graduate from high school. No. He kind of skipped law school. Yeah. And now he's winning winning arguments in the Supreme Court. Yeah. Because that's what I like now that like if you're if you're it's hard to be you know like when you're young you have to be working towards that goal. So you spend a lot of that time changing your views. This is a guy who's coming in hot. Yeah. He's super spicy. Huey Long coming in hot. Hot. His political life was just getting going when he was 30. He ran for governor on the platform reduced taxes less officers

free school books to school children and numerous other constructive reforms. Unelectable. Unelectable today. He came in third. He blamed his loss on heavy rains that came the day before the election which kept his rural supporters from voting because there were less than 300 miles of paved roads in Louisiana. Well then how is on his list of things he's going to do how is not get rid of rain not one of them. I would put that first first stop get rid of rain so that I could stay in power. First I will stop the rain. In nineteen twenty four sixty percent of the state's two million citizens lived in rural areas with only bare necessities. They didn't have much of an education. Oh boy. Most white farmers had not completed the fourth

grade. Oh my god. Around 240,000 adults could not read. Jesus. Could you imagine. So this is 1924. Yeah. 240,000 adults couldn't read. Just stumbling around Louisiana trying to figure out road signs and look at the ingredients. Is this meat. Those are beans. It would be like if you dropped me off in Hong Kong right now. Yeah. We're like go go at it. Figure it out. Have a good life. Yeah. I feel like wait what. Families because families can afford to buy textbooks and those are required to go to school. That's why he wanted right. So then if you couldn't afford textbooks you couldn't go to school. Right. Right. So how horrible is that noise. I don't know. I mean let's let's take a look at the

I mean it's definitely showing up. Do you want to move. Do you want the kitchen. Yeah we could do that. Let's move. Hey guys. We're moving. We're moving. This is intimate. This is nice. We should do this more often. Oh my god. Hi how are you. We don't do this enough. I never noticed your eyes. Stop. No I just we get so cut up in the bustle. Do you want to light the candle. No I don't like the candle. Absolutely not. Oh good a helicopter. Good. OK Los Angeles. I hate you. The worst. OK. So. So Huey ran for governor again in 1927 with the slogan everyone is a king but no one wears a crown. Oh like that. Right. Yeah let's get tattoos of that. Right on our chest. Yep. Big ones. Life changing ones. Huey kicked

off his campaign by attacking normal Louisiana politics. OK. So there's guys called there were these guys called the old regulars in New Orleans. They're like the businessmen who ran everything. Sure. Paid off the legislature since it all that. Pretty he's pretty up front name for the old regulars. Yeah for such a backdoor activity. He's been talking about being true. Absolutely. That's true. They could have been super regular as far as bomb movements go. You don't know. No. So he railed against poverty saying quote we must bear in mind that 65 percent of the people own less than five percent of our wealth. He promised an education. Horrible time. Right. Yeah. He promised an education for quote every white child in Louisiana. OK.

He promised free schoolbooks free bridges better highways and cheap natural gas. Would love for all races to be included but outside of that great. Yeah no it's just an era. It's not it's not an issue. It's not a beef with the man just put the beef with reality. That's absolutely not happening. Yeah OK. Huey traveled 15000 miles and made 600 speeches usually over five a day which is pretty impressive. That time. Yeah. Using his own money he printed up and mailed over a million flyers. Wow. He promised to allow unlimited hunting and fishing year round and to abolish the state conservative commission which he called quote a possum watching brigade. I'll cut the tail off the conservation commission right up behind the ears.

So that's not actually where the tail is. Yeah. It's very confusing. What he's saying is he's going to kill kill the whole right because if you cut a tail off behind the ears that's like a spine. It's just a long walk. When Huey got when he gave a speech and when he gave a speech on the country he would recognize people in the crowd he had met when he was a salesman. Call them up by name and bring up when they met or what had happened. Some of them he would call feasibility. You're getting fat like he would just haha familiar guy. I wish you didn't remember me now. Well you're you're very heavy now. Hey fuck you Huey how about that. Hey Tubbs I'm running for governor. I don't care. I'm not voting for you. Call me Tubbs. I've had a rough couple years asshole.

Hey fat boy. Stop calling me fat boy Huey or you could have a problem. I know Gary Johnson. Excuse me. Your name's Gary Johnson. I remember you. Yeah. Okay. So what. I remember your name. Vote for me. I know I'm not voting for you. That's because you're fat. Stop saying that it's look generations from now. A relative of mine. What did Jose just do. It just went crazy. Good God it's only she she fell into a construction site. He whatever. What's the difference. It's Jose. It's a boy's name. I mean how hard is it to deduce that. Well maybe maybe she's going through. Maybe she's going through some gender stuff. Good Lord. He also told people what they wanted to hear. In the Baptist north he said he was against alcohol use. Okay. But when he was down south in New

Orleans he would say quote I want every man in this audience who ever took a drink to vote for me. Yeah. Well. Yeah. I mean isn't that there's not the idea. You have to lie. Yeah. He would he would speak to a crowd holding a Bible and quoting passages from memory. He called his political opponents low down vile and slanderous men thieves bugs and lice grafters and money bootlers and graveyard robbing politicians. So he went after. Yeah. Yeah. His attacks on Louisiana politics weren't going over well with the politicians. Really shocking. The establishment didn't like that. They didn't care for it. In November Huey was in a hotel when a 60 year old former governor J. Y. Sanders saw him

and yelled that Huey was a damn liar. So he yells him in a hotel lobby. Just out of nowhere. Well. Yeah. I think so. Okay. Huey then ran over attack Sanders punching him. Oh God. And then dashed off to the elevator. Oh Jesus. That's a weird. Also Sanders is like 60. Oh my God. It's like when Pedro Martinez threw that old Don Silver he's grabbed by his big bald head. Sanders chased and squeezed in before the elevator doors could shut before they had those readers. Right. Yeah. Better times. And then the two men wrestled on the floor as the elevator boy watched. Oh he. So the other guy made it into the other guy Indiana Jonesed his way into the elevator at the 60 year old. The old man. Geez. He got in there and now

they're wrestling around and fighting. The elevator boy is like which floor. What floor again. Night floor. And bystanders finally broke up the fight. Later that afternoon Huey strutted through the lobby showing off part of Sanders shirt cuff that he had ripped off during the fight. Geez. He's starting to sound a little. I mean it's got a fucking trophy here boys. Hey guess who beat up a senior earlier. Yeah he was pretty old. Once his hip broke it sort of became my fight to lose. They're soft when you punch him. Yeah. What you don't know is your head becomes like a baby head towards the end too. It was like punching a pile of mashed potatoes. So he's walking. He's walking around with his shirt cuff that night. Oh this. I just beat up an old man earlier

in an elevator. That night he gave a speech in front of three thousand people and he waved the torn cuff around and bragged about the elevator fight. That sounds so Trumpy. Sanders called Huey quote a red mouthed white livered yellow backboneed enemy of our country. Wow. So he felt the opposite way. Yeah. Colorful language. Yeah. Huey explained his political strategy to a friend quote in every county there is a boss usually the sheriff. The boss has 40% of the votes. 40% are opposed to him and 20% are in between. I'm going in and cussing out the boss. That gives me 40% of the votes to begin with and I will host trade them out of the in betweeners. I always hit the big man first. Smart. Yeah. Right. Sounds familiar. Yeah. Yeah. Go right.

And no matter. So it's the the mentality is no matter what go at the establishment. Right. Right. And and and the people that are with them are going to be probably smaller number than the people right. Yeah. Yeah. That's what your numbers right. Yeah. Yeah. When his opponent said he went barefoot as a child he responded I can go one better. I was born barefoot. Bam. What. Oh. I mean. Whoa. He now had he knew how to turn a phrase when he talked about his opponents like he called them as slick as a as Polkat grease. No. More trouble than a boat can haul. Hey. Well come on now. They can only they can haul a lot. So that's pretty pretty rude. If you ask me as hungry as a seed tick. Think about it. A neck like a kasha and a head like a gourd. Whoa.

Okay. That's might be genetic sir. He once said a man was so mean that he quote sleeps on a grindstone and has razor soup for breakfast. This is how they talk back then. They all this is how they all were talking. But it made sense. It totally made sense. They were they were down with it. People weren't like what. They were totally down with it. Okay. He was very energetic speak. This man has toilet paper with his cereal dish. Whoa. Easy Huey. He just wife just died. Easy. Leave him be. He was very energetic speaker yelling and turning red pounding fists and punching the air. Huey dressed in pastel suits purple shirts red flower ties and two toned wing tips and was once described as quote an explosion in a paint factory.

Oh my God. He came out loud. So he's like the old guy who used to announce the prices right. Rod Roddy. Oh right. Okay. I thought you were talking about Bob Barker. Now I got an ounce. Right. He was often attacked in the press and fought back. He nicknamed the newspaper the Alexandria Daily Town Talk as the Alexandria Blatter. Take that establishment. Once he fought with the editor of the Shreveport Journal on the street in New Orleans paper reported quote the men clinched and rolled from the sidewalks into the gutter. The editor was bleeding about the mouth but not seriously hurt when the combatants were separated. Jesus. So Huey's definitely making an enemy. Yeah. He really goes for it. Yeah.

He's not kidding around. I do wish there was more physical fighting in politics. Come on. It would be so. Why not just fight. Why not just fist fight. At this point right is there little benefit in it for us anymore. Like they're not even talking about issues anymore. There's just there's little benefit. Yeah. Can we just at least now physicalize it. Yeah. Just start punching each other out in the Senate. Beat each other up. Fight each other. House of Representatives. Yeah. Duke it out. Take a page out of Japan's book. Bring back the duel. Yeah. Oh God. Right. Oh. Be tremendous. Oh. So ex-governor rough and pleasant. I got to go Dave. I have to move. I have to go. Rough and pleasant. Rough and pleasant.

Stop. Does it not sound like a country band. It sounds like a country like restaurant. It sounds like a cracker barrel. One more time. Rough and pleasant. Rough and pleasant. Are you F.I.N. Are you F.I.N. Right. Are you F.I.N. rough and pleasant. Yeah. Is his name. Yeah. Man. I mean if a guy's dying for you know how guys will like have tag lines. I'm bad whatever. This guy's like rough and pleasant. That's the name and that's the way you'll like it. Oh hello Ruffin. He called Huey quote a coward with the conduct of an egg sucking yellow dog. A man who lies with a craven heart like a white liver to pop and J. So a white liver is a bad thing. I think so. You don't want to have a white liver. I don't think you want a white

liver. Sure. I don't know why. Yeah. Well I mean my guess is it's I mean yeah I think a black liver would seem more. Livers are fairly dark colored. They are but like are they red when they're inside. Yeah. Well they're like they're like yeah like a dark red like dark red brown I think. Because when you buy a liver in a store it's brown. Oh anytime I buy a liver it's brown but that's probably because it's rotting in a store and you shouldn't be buying it probably because it's a liver. It's being exposed to the air which changes the color of blood and it's mostly a blood thing. Love a bit of liver. Okay. White liver. Okay. Shreveport Mayor Lee Thomas said quote a great many citizens I know are opposed to a man of the destructive

and Bolshevistic type for governor of the state that sincerely believe that the election of Huey Long would be more injurious to the welfare of this state than the locusts of Egypt or the Mississippi floods. Locusts of Egypt. This guy went locusts. Yeah that is that's big. You can't take it back. Once you let the locusts out of the bag. No once you're. Good night. Once you're getting a locust rhetoric. Yeah that's it. There's no coming back. Huey went after bigots who would vote against presidential candidate New York Governor Al Smith because he was a Catholic. Okay. But at the same time he said that Herbert Hoover was unfit because he was a Quaker. And then and and that's that's the bigotry back then. They're like while they're while there's

while they're slaves they're like oh gosh what a bigot. Well there's not slaves now. Oh what year is this. 1920s now. Okay. Well still. Well still there's no there's no to think that that's our top that's our number one bigoted culture. Yeah leave the Catholics alone. A religion's been through enough. Get my bags boy. Religion's been through enough. Huey also accused Herbert Hoover of favoring Negro domination. Well case and points. Quote we believe this is a white man's country and are not willing to turn it over to the Negroes. So I love it's turn it over. Well is that not on is that not on the agenda. No it's are you sure. No turn it over. I love how the white people always feel like the threat

coming and that threat is white people. It's like that's you. There's no boogeyman. They're like you're the terrible thing. You're the monster in the closet. Okay. Hilarious when so that Huey won winning 47 of 64 counties. A small minority of the state legislator legislature were Huey long supporters and he went about trying to win over the rest. Quote he knew how to trade a cat for a cow a cow for an elephant and the elephant for a farm. Well I think they're saying he's good at getting stuff because he basically just turned a cat into a farm. I was just going to say that is cat to farm. Jose. Jose. I got some good news. It's a bad news. You're going to be a house. Good news. Me bad news. You first floor leader

in the Senate. Huey picked a boyhood friend and selected a big donor to be the head of the Department of Conservation. Cool. Yeah. Oh cool. That's cool. It's good to know that that's a tradition. Usually the legislature picked its own committee chairman and members but Huey selected every member of every committee and he forced them to pick another friend of his childhood as chairman of the House Appropriations Committee. That's that's kind of what happens though right. It's like you slowly slowly but surely it's just like one asshole breaks the mold and then people are like oh I didn't know that was we were doing that. Oh we're doing that. Oh okay. All right. He forced the old regular legislators off from powerful committee chairmanship and put them

in meaningless committees. Harry Gamble who was recently elected to the legislature said Huey was another Mussolini. Good. Huey removed Gamble from his position as state inheritance inheritance tax attorney which came with a salary of 15,000 a year which is a lot. Yeah. Mussolini. He gave the job. Huey gave the job to his brother. Okay. Good lord. When he campaigned. Adorable. When he campaigned he had promised to just get rid of the position and use that 15k to build a tuberculosis hospital. Well you know but once you're on the other side. So after he appointed his brother a New Orleans newspaper published a photograph of Huey's brother with the caption underneath New Lakefront TB hospital. Now that translates. That still works. Huey was unapologetic about

what he was doing. I had promised my people that I would put this gang of bosses and plunder bond pie eaters out of control of the Democratic party as quick as I could. What? Pie plunder bond pie eaters. Plunder. Okay. Let's start at the top. Go ahead. Plunder bond. Yes. Any idea. Yeah. It's a thing. But do you put in a hat? I mean but any idea plunder. Well maybe we know plunder. We know bond. Bund. Bund. Oh. B-U-N-D. Plunder bond. Plunder bond. Now I'm gone. I'm lost. Yeah. No. We're all lost. Pie eaters we get. Yeah. But still how is it like pie eaters being like a metaphor for like gluttony? Yeah. For like sitting around. Corruption. Right. Okay. Huey fired 73 New Orleans dock board employees and 80 out of 100 highway commissioned speed cops

and replaced them with his own men. Wow. And his first few weeks in office he kicked out every major and minor employee whose job he controlled. That's crazy. Thousands of state workers in the highway commission, the state board of health, the hospital board, and the Orleans levee board. Everywhere he fired people and he put his own guys in the jobs. I just like I know that now that doesn't seem crazy but it does seem crazy that's them. It's not crazy but it sort of happens. You do it with a little more caution. It's definitely like behind closed doors. Yeah. He also made his new appointees sign undated letters of resignation. Oh my god. So if he ever wanted to fire them he would just put the letter and put a date in. Does that have anything

because of their government positions? Yeah. Oh wow that's genius. Evil genius but genius regardless. Evil genius. He would go to the Louisiana senate and house while they were in session and bully the legislatures with quote frown, sting jokes and foul mouth threats. One day he stormed into a committee hearing and a senator threw a copy of the Louisiana constitution at his head yelling maybe you've heard of this book and Huey picked it up, looked at the title and said I'm the constitution now. Oh snap. I don't know if that's a snap. As much as that's well what? Well I could see it. I'm scared. Yeah that's what I mean. It's like I could see that like that's as someone says that you're like uh no no no no. Have you ever heard of this?

I'm the constitution now. No the constitution is like a written thing you're doing. What? You're shooting into the air? Everyone get down. I'm the constitution. Move move move. Uh Huey signed only the constitution. This is the constitution. Hello. Constitution here. Yeah table of five the name constitution. Wait the constitution? Yes the constitution of America. Table of five. I'm the constitution now. I get it I get it. There could you call the police? There's a crazy person here. We'll have the clam chowder and what else do you guys want to split? Huey signed only the bills proposed by his supporters. He created the Bureau of Criminal Identification. They were a separate force from sheriff's police constables. Cool cool. Totally

cool. Because it doesn't seem like a saturated pool already. It's totally cool. We you know we need is just another group of guys running around. Let's have another new form of authority. Yeah we need something else. We just love uniforms. The sheriff's police and the constables aren't quite doing it. They're good. They had the power to make arrests anywhere in the state of Louisiana without warrants. Could they arrest constables? Well it sounds like they could arrest anybody. That's so cool. Why are you arresting me? Why not? Uh because I can. You got a white liver. Can prove it later. Huey vetoed all the public service commissions funding because he did not like two of the members. Good. Well that's smart. That's like what we have now. Oh completely.

The superintendent of the state run charity hospital in New Orleans was ordered to resign because his father was an attorney for standard oil and known as anti Huey Long. Okay. Huey said quote no music ever sounded one half silver freshing as the wines and moans of pie eaters when shoved away from the pie. I don't know. I mean that's pretty good. Yeah it's funny. Very I mean you can't. No my pie. My pie. You just see the guy. My pie. No. My pie. Let me give it away now. He fired a okay so he's driving through this town. This is the guy that runs the drawbridge. You're fired. He's so Trumpy with all the firing too. Oh my god. He somehow finds out the guy was a friend of a senator who is anti Huey so it's just a guy working in a drawbridge. A guy.

Who's a friend of a senator. A man who's allowed to have free thoughts. And he had him fired. He put 23 of his relatives on the state payroll. Newspapers then published the names of the relatives he hired and Huey just said the list was incomplete. Quote. I would have placed more of them on the payroll if some of them were not being housed and fed at the state penitentiary. Oh my god. The only thing that's stopping the hireings is that they're in jail. I love that he is just like I don't give a fuck. Yeah. He then ordered the chairman of the tax commission to raise the property assessments on the three New Orleans newspapers that had run the story and the list. Oh my god. There's no out of bounds. No. There's no out of bounds. He also wouldn't

move into the governor's mansion because quote it was full of damn rats and the creaking floors kept him awake at night. Okay. Huey had the state board. Not a lot of people do that. No they don't. I won't go there. Huey had a. We're not going to do the White House. We're doing an Airbnb down the street. He had the state board of liquidation grant $150,000 loan to build a new mansion but then found out the state legislature had to approve it. So. Oh god. Huey called the warden of a nearby state penitentiary who sent over a bunch of convicts who demolished the mansion. Oh my god. When Huey was criticized for having it torn down. The governor's mansion? Yeah. So he just. Sorry. Just because what you're saying is insane.

He called. So he since they won't. He needs their approval. He didn't even try to get their approval. No. He hasn't even asked. He just saw that he knows that he needs it. So he calls a warden who sends convicts over and they destroy the old governor's mansion and then he's like well now we need a new one. That's pretty much it. I don't. I can't tell what I'm feeling for this guy. Unfortunately he's already alone. It's been you know. You know funnily enough I saw this coming. Let's call it political forethought. What are you doing Jose? Am I in your bed? He definitely wants to get up. Hey Jose. Okay. You want to come up? Yeah. Move down a little. He'll do that. I bet you. You want to sit right there? I'll definitely try to get on the table. You want to

sit right there? Come here bud. Bring it. Well don't sit there looking all weird and then I'll come up. He'll get up. All right so uh so then he said when he was criticized about it he said quote I can see where the criticism is sound. Sure. It reminds me of the old man who keeps a boarding house. When one guest complains that the towel is dirty he says people been wiping their hands on that towel for a month without complaining. I don't see what's the matter with you. So he's comparing the governor's mansion to a dirty towel. Right. Fair. Completely reasonable. It doesn't. I don't see a lot of parallels. First of all you can't wash a towel. You got to tear it down. I didn't. That towel was dirty. So instead of washing it I had six convicts come over here

and destroy it. He passed his free books for school children bill but two rich counties got restraining orders to stop the distribution of the textbooks in their counties. Okay. The street port mayor. Was that is the reason just because they're pushing back on him because screw him? No. There's an actual. You're about to tell me a fact that's going to make me go oh whoa. Street port mayor wet jug Thompson. Okay. All right. Okay. Sorry buddy. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Yes. Rough rough and pleasant was our winner. But that was his real name. This is more of a nickname situation and can I have it one more time. Yes. It is wet jug Thomas. Sorry. Wet jug Thomas. Wet jug Thomas. Okay. So. Hey. His jugs are wet.

Have you met his brother T shirt. Wet jug Thomas said quote we are not going to humiliated or disgraced. I'm sorry. What did wet jug say? We're not going to be humiliated. Me and dipshit Andrews over here. We're not going to be made fools. You don't invite wet jug and dipshit to something and then make them appear to be clowns. Now get the small car eight of us can fit in. We're not going to be humiliated or disgraced by having it advertised that our children had to be given books for free. That is insane. That is just who who rich people rich people. It's insane. Wet jug. You idiot. Shocking that a guy named wet jug is an idiot. But when Treeport needed the governor's approval to give 80 acres of state land to the army for

a new airfield, Huey wouldn't give it until they accepted the textbooks. Wow. Until they actually take the textbooks. He's quote I didn't coerce them. I stomped them into distributing the books. Fair. Fair. Fair. For poor families, the textbooks made a huge difference. Previously, their kids couldn't go to school because they couldn't afford the textbooks. School attendance increased by 15,000. Well, that's good. Huey then went after the oil companies. He called a special session to propose a new processing tax. Is he like a Trump that has good he like wants? We'll talk about it. Okay. He called a special session to propose a new processing tax on refined oil. He estimated it would give the schools $5,000 per day. The standard oil president set up an

office in Baton Rouge and Huey said, quote, standard oil brought enough bribe money to burn a wet mule. All right. Another beautiful phrase from that era. So I guess he's saying that there's so much money that you put in a pile and then you put a wet mule on top of the pile and the mule would burn. Right. Because it's a fire. It's still not hitting with me. Sorry, Hue. One representative said, quote, you could pick up $15,000 or $20,000 any evening. Wow. Okay. So they're just dropping fucking money. Good. How American? Yeah. Standard oil said they would have to shut down the operations in Baton Rouge if the tax happened. Still being attacked by newspapers, Huey threatened a Baton Rouge newspaper publisher. Quote, if the city's

newspapers do not lay off me, I'm going to publish a list of the names of people who have relatives in the Assein asylum. Oh my God. It is crazy. There's this dude. I know one time walked like a heavier dude walked into a party once and another guy I know was there and the heavier dude when he walked in, he, my buddy had like a sort of corduroy jacket with like little patches on the elbows. Like a professor. Yeah. So my, exactly. So my heavier buddy walks in and he just goes, hey, everybody, look, it's our archaeology professor and a few people laugh. And then the other guy goes, yeah, hey, look, it's a fat guy. Wow. And everyone was like, wow. Not as good natured fun. It's like, I didn't know we were dropping atom bombs. Oh, I thought we

were throwing water balloons. Sorry. You brought a hammer. Sorry. You brought an Uzi to a snowball fight. That is, but that's the same thing here. It's like, well, we won't do it. It's like, oh, well, I'll just tell everyone your personal business. It's like, well, no, okay. That's personal. Well, so the reason he's doing this because he was specifically threatening one publisher who had a brother in an insane asylum due to shell shock from serving in World War One. That's embarrassing. Well, and then Huey took it further, saying in a speech, quote, they say I made a terrible offense offense because they say the insanity of this young man, the brother of manship is due to shell shock in World War Two. Oh, sorry, World War One. That ain't so.

It is due to venereal disease, the record show. Did you ever hear of shell shock causing syphilis? What? So he just goes. So the guy's in there for shell shock and he's like, it's his dick. Yeah, basically. His dick's all fucked up. He's not a hero. He's got a weird penis now. But I have never, I mean, the question is valid. I have never heard of shell shock causing syphilis. No. But I also know. What? Shell shock curing causing syphilis? I'm not a doctor. No, that would be like if I could like look into your eyes and give you AIDS. That's something that can happen. Oh God, we just had eye contact. It's terrible. Do you have AIDS? I have HIV. Wait, huh? All Louisiana newspapers started calling for an investigation of Huey saying he should be

impeached. Is that weird? That's not weird. What's weird is that I'm sure he's going to be like, well, you should all eat grenade pies. Eat grenade puddings. A group known as the Dynamite Squad, which was made up of old Louisiana aristocratic families and those friendly with the old regulars faction in New Orleans drafted 19 allegations against Huey. Okay. They included trying to arrange a murder. That's a great Netflix show. It's really good. I thought that was on ABC. Oh, is that I forget? It's a reality show. That's right. Trying to arrange a murder. Is this legal? We should pitch that. Oh God. So basically, it's a show where eight people compete over murdering the host. We're going to need a new host every

year. Yeah. So there's 19 allegations. One of them is murder and potentially the guy that he they say he tried to arrange a murder of was the son of the guy he fought in the elevator. Oh, wow. Okay. So jeez. He really took that elevator fight to heart. He does not care for it. Also bribery, carrying concealed weapons and going to a party a stripper was at. Oh boy. That's a I mean, there's a there's a pretty big drop off. Yeah. Yeah. They really had towards the end. And also murder, bribery, carrying weapons and then he saw some titties. Yeah. And so in a place with other. Should we lose number 19? Okay. Yeah. I think I did a good number. I agree. 19 is a good number. That's the one that puts him away. Okay. Huey had his

legislative floor leaders move for indefinite adjournment instead. Okay. Smart. Definitely. Didn't know that was an option. I'm sorry. No, no, no, no. We're not working anymore. Everybody take a nice holiday. It is amazing. Yeah, we're done. It's over. Good run. So it worked. Oh my God. Then the House and Senate members who had voted against the adjournment noticed votes were incorrectly tallied. And a huge brawl erupted in the legislature. There we go. So I'm talking about fights broke out all over the chamber. Representatives wrestled on the floor knocking over ink stands books and desks members used brass knuckles during the brawl. Wow. So it's like a kind of it's like a

awesome street fight with with ink. It's like a Zack Snyder movie like ink just sort of like suspended in midair while like senators and you know just beat the shit out of each other. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One legislative legislator tried to run to the speakers platform but was tackled and he hit his head. Blood poured from his wound. The session became known as Bloody Monday. Wow. What the hell was he going to say up there? I don't know. Stop? Maybe. Anything short of stop was used. Maybe hit the gavel. Honestly, useless. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Another guy said you're not calling order. Impeachment proceedings move forward. The Louisiana legislature accused Huey of quote incompetency, corruption, favoritism, oppression in office, gross misconduct, carrying a kid's

a weapon, violently abusing citizens visiting him on public business. Okay, well let's put a pin in that one. Gross misconduct in public places, repeatedly appearing on the floor of the house of representatives illegally influencing the judiciary offering bribes to legislators using the militia unlawfully to pillage private property improperly spending state money, purchasing a $20,000 ice machine for the state penitentiary. For the vending machine. Without asking for bits. Fondling a New Orleans nightclub stripper. That's that one again. And uttering blasphemous and sacrilegious expressions by comparing himself to the Saker. I mean, good Lord, hell of a list. Yeah, you fucking hit him with it. Yeah,

it's a lot of shit. All right, but the very few actual crimes, I think, though. No, it doesn't like it today. Huey started a flyer campaign. 900,000 were mailed out titled the Cross of Gold Standard Oil Company versus Huey P. Long, right? So he's right. Yeah, he's going anti-establishment. I never have rested since I became governor. I will not now. I would rather go down to a thousand impeachments than to admit that I am the governor of the state that does not dare to call the Standard Oil Company to account so that we can educate our children and care for the destitute, sick, and afflicted. So there was actually time when someone fought against oil companies. Yeah, I know. I was thinking that the other day, like, look, these places that are

ruining the world, like oil companies and like Coke industry, you know, whatever, whatever the places, look, have your way, ruin our lives, be the worst, no more commercials that pretend like you're great. Okay, you don't you don't get any more commercials that pretend like you're helping me. No more like kids in fields like spinning of Chevron, we're making trees. BP, you're welcome. It's like, no, no, what, what world do I live in where you're like telling me that I owe you? Go fuck yourself. So using bribes, Huey got enough legislators to throw out all the charges against him. Of one house member, Huey said, quote, I bought and paid for him like you would a sack of potatoes. Oh, my God, dude. That's so weird, my name is sack of potatoes. I'm rough and pleasant.

Wet jugs. A truce was called between the old guard and Huey. He promised not to pursue the oil processing tax or increase business taxes. And they wouldn't use the legislator legislature to try to take him down. Okay, good. So politics in motion. Huey then fired dozens of relatives of the legislators who voted against him. Oh, state jobs. Oh, wow. Geez. Because the fight started then, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he just fucking. That'll stop him. Then the stock market crash hit. To prevent a run on banks, Huey sat in one of the Baton Rouge, is it Baton Rouge? Baton Rouge, yeah. Baton Rouge. Banks. And when the first customer came in, Huey looked at it and said, you insist on drawing out your 18,000 and all insist on drawing out the state's 265,000

and I get first draw, so there'll be nothing left for you. You agree to leave yours in, and I'll leave the state's money in, and nobody will be just. I'm staying right here till closing time at noon in case anybody else wants to draw out. Wow. So he's across the country, over 4,000 banks closed in Louisiana, seven. So and the reason is because people were just like, get the, they wanted their money out immediately. He would take the state's money out first and then there would be no money. Right. But the reason why he curbed that is because he was like, well with no money, you can't get money. Yeah. Right. Look, fuck you. Yeah. Deal. The Louisiana house was doing Huey's bidding. They passed a $68 million road construction

bill, approved increased school funding, a one cent gasoline tax increase, five million for a new capital building, and seven million for a New Orleans bridge. Huey promised that a wave of prosperity would come, quote, growth will be almost magic. Growth is going to be magic. Yeah. It's going to be so magical you're not even going to believe in magic anymore. I'm unbelievable magic. And then he took a hat out and through glitter. Make America magic again. Rabbit came out. Yeah. Yeah. This is, this is America. All right. All right. America's a rabbit. America. Coming out of a hat. You don't even understand. The new governor's mansion was finally finished at a cost of $150,000. But Huey kept living in the Baton Rouge Hotel instead.

Wow. That's my favorite. He just did it to fucking do it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, all he really did was he got a bunch of rats without homes now. And he probably got some friends jobs. Yeah. Contractors and I'll tell you what, those convicts had a hell of an afternoon. Oh my God. You've seen Shawshank Redemption. It's like, yeah, it's like when they're on the roof. Yeah. Then they get the beer. Yeah. He then had a half a million dollar Huey P long field house built at LSU Louisiana State University with a dance hall, a soda fountain and a pool 180 feet long. Okay. When he found out that the pool was not the biggest in the country. It was 10 feet short. No. He ordered it torn up and lengthened until it was the biggest. Do you have to... That's... What? That's just crazy.

They forgot to put in drains. So they had the world's biggest bath? Yeah. The world's filthiest bath? Yeah. So what is that? That's like a disposable swimming pool? I don't know what you're doing. 20 swims? How does that work? Until it's brown? He created the largest university marching band in the nation, 250 members and personally chose the major hats and cheerleaders. Yeah. Interesting. I handpick them. Hey, why don't you go ahead and just take off your dress? Wait, what? Yeah. No, but I'm here to be, I'm here to march. Are you always going to put his penis in his hand? Excuse me? Then you're going to go do your little jumpy jumps. No, no, no. I'm a marcher. Jumpy jumps. I'm not a cheerleader. I'm Huey.

Yes. I'm in charge of everything. Okay. Yeah, your dad's fired. No, here, here, here. No, look, here. It's too late. This is as bad as... The family is destitute. Oh my god. He's being banned. But the band did not perform to his expectations. No, I'm near good enough. Fired the director and placed him with replaced him with a friend. You direct it. You do it. In 1931, LSU spent $14,345 for the band, but only $837 on its law school and $493 on its graduate school. That is, I mean, what? But the band was great. That's like the North Korean philosophy of finances. It totally is. Or America. Or America in 20 years. For four months, he had four-star LSU players, football players, live in the mansion and fed them steaks and milkshakes twice a day

to fatten them up. Come on, you guys need to be really, really fat. Eat. Go fighting cholesterol. At night, Huey brought the players into a huge ballroom in the mansion and set up chairs, and then he'd run between them to show the football place he had designed. What? Dude, this is, that's so fox catchery. What? Those players are like, dude, hey buddy, is this honestly worth a steak and a milkshake? This dude's out of his tits. I mean, what is happening now? Okay, then I'm thinking we do a whole new sort of sweep. So you're running out, then you button hook it. Okay, here, I'll do all the plays. You guys sit there. Remember this stuff. I'm a governor. I'm a governor. Remember this stuff. But the halfback, you're faking it. You don't

have it. You're like this, okay? But then, right, but running back, you don't have it either. Quarterback still has it. Wide receiver blocking like this, right? Down like this. You guys know how it works. And then you guys, does anyone want another milkshake? Is everybody got milkshakes? Okay, good. Now the offensive line. This is where it gets interesting. Next, he started calling himself the Kingfish. He often would answer the phone with, this is the Kingfish. I'm sorry. I should have let you drink. Oh, that really burned my nostrils. What? Sorry. No, I'm looking. Sorry. I'm not trying to order a bunch of lobster. This is a

wrong number, I guess. No, no, no. Yeah, go ahead. You're talking to the Kingfish. What? Sorry. Kingfish go. Go for Kingfish. I'm sorry. I don't understand. I'm trying to call. Yeah. You're talking to the Kingfish. I'm looking for the governor. Right. Yeah. Kingfish. I'll call back. I am the Kingfish. I'm hanging up for sure. Goodbye. Vanity Fair wrote what, that the Louisiana Kingfish had a quote, big mouth, feeds off suckers, thrives best in mud and slime, and is very hard to catch. Oh, so that he, he's embracing his, it's pretty accurate. In 1930, he decided to run for the US Senate. He easily won, but he left the Senate seat vacant for nine months because he was worried

that the Lieutenant Governor would roll back his policies once he left for Washington. So he literally wouldn't leave. He wouldn't leave the state. He did what he did in the bank, but with the entire state. Pretty much. Wow. The Senate, nine months. Then in the fall of 1931, the Lieutenant Governor got an anti-Huey judge to swear him in as governor. And then he said that a Baton Rouge Hotel was the new governor. Governor's headquarters. Right. So Huey said he was still governor because he's still not taking the oath of office as a US Senator. He then called out. Was the Senate at any point like, Huey, hello. Hey guys. Sort of like he's the thing. He then called out the National Guard to secure the capital state. Oh my God. And declared that the Lieutenant Governor had

vacated his office by taking the oath for the governorship. The courts agreed and the president of the state Senate became the Lieutenant Governor. That's a Huey guy. The guy who tried to make a play for governor is now totally out of a job. And now that his friend was ready to succeed him, Huey resigned as governor and went to Washington. Wow. I mean that is, I would fall in line if I were everyone else. This is how fascism works. Everyone in the US Senate usually wore a black suit and smoking was not permitted. So on his first day, Huey got a purple suit and started smoking. On his first day, he rolled in wearing a gray suit and smoking a big cigar. Hey boys, sorry it took me a pregnancy to get here. He put the burning cigar on a senator's desk

while he took the oath of office. Pardon me loser. Huey didn't show much respect to the institution. If a senator was speaking and Huey was interested, he would sit right up front and watch intently. But if he was bored, he would roam around the chamber, spinning a pencil between his fingers and start talking to anyone walking by. So what are you doing? Oh, I'm just kingfishing. Oh, cool. Yeah. Well, you should keep your voice down. We're trying to pay attention. Kingfish. That's me. I'm the kingfish. Say it. No. Say it. Kingfish. There you go. Say a little bit louder. Please. Say it to the kingfish louder. Shut up. Say it to the kingfish louder. Kingfish. Why is this guy yelling? Excuse me, sir, quiet in the back.

I don't know. This guy's yelling kingfish. Not him, you. The kingfish. What'd you say? Oh my god. Everyone, so he, oh right. He didn't inspect when he walked around talking to everybody. He rarely attended committee meetings. Of the 137 days of the session, he was absent for 81. Wow. That's a heavy percent. Yeah, heavy. Not a lot of work. When you think about how many days they're actually working. Not really that much. April 4, 1932, Harvey Huey gave his first speech. He called for limiting all fortunes to 100 million and dividing up the remaining millions amongst the poor. The speech was titled The Doom of America's Dream. He read stats and argued corporate monopoly and inequality were the

cause of the depression and said that there must be drastic redistribution of wealth. Okay. This is what keeps happening. I have a love hate. He introduced an anti-monopoly bill and proposed a 65% surtax on incomes above 2 million. The Senate did not like this idea. No one in the Senate backed him. The other senators began to shun him. Then Huey discovered the filibuster. Oh my God. What did you call it? What is that made up word you just said? The filibuster, Huey. You don't know about it? What's the filibuster? You can just sit there and talk and delay any bill. You can talk and talk and talk. Why are you making that noise? Oh, I thought I was just hearing that. I was doing it.

So on May 16th, he filibustered for three hours telling funny stories. Anyway, that's enough about Carl. In June, he delayed a bill that increased income tax rates. Crowds started coming to the Senate to watch Huey's filibusters. Oh my God. Once the presiding officer threatened to clear the galleries because the crowd was laughing so much. It's like he's doing stand-up. Yeah, that's great. Huey said, quote, when the people go to the circus, they ought to be allowed to laugh at the monkey. Oh, they're like, God, don't talk to him. He's very good. He's very good. So in Louisiana, Huey's plans were all happening. He built a modern highway system, many new bridges, new schools, gateway free textbooks, free reading classes for illiterate adults,

doubled state charity hospitals, built the new state capitol, added thousands of extra state workers. Unfortunately, this drained the state in the middle of the depression. So in May of 1932, Huey told the governor to propose the state's first income tax. Oh boy. Even though he's just fought against it at the state level, but he just basically does anything at the time that works. Right. Whatever's shiniest. Incomes over 2,000 would be taxed 1%. Another amendment increased sales tax. Incomes over 2,000, over 200,000. 2,000? Yeah. Wow. Another amendment, well, it's not, it's, that's a lot. Is it a lot? I don't know how much, I don't know how much that would be back then. Maybe we'll look it up at the end. Yeah. Another amendment increased sales taxes on cigarettes,

gasoline, soft drinks, dairy products, chain stores, and business franchises. The taxes were passed overwhelmingly. Huey backed FDR's presidential run. Apparently, Huey stirred shit up. Roosevelt's campaign manager said, quote, on one or two occasions, he narrowly missed getting into fistic encounters. With FDR? No. Oh, with others just on his behalf. Yeah. Okay. He also called Huey, he said that'd be an awkward way. Yeah. He also called Huey, quote, somewhat of a freak. Wow. Roosevelt called Huey one of the two most dangerous men in the country. The other was Douglas MacArthur. Okay. But Huey campaigned for Roosevelt and was very effective. Huey wasn't all that impressed with FDR. He told the friend, quote,

Roosevelt's a phony. I can out promise him and he knows that people will believe me and they won't believe him. His mother's watching him and she won't let him go too far. He's living on inherited income. Wow. That's okay. He's basically saying a rich guy can't. Yeah. Yeah. One day before the inauguration, Huey barged into a meeting room of Roosevelt's associates and said, I don't like you and your goddamn banker friends. And then he left. All right. Later. I have a 1230. God damn it. I've been saying this for a while. I gotta do that more often. Just walking to rooms and say that. Huey spent his time in the Senate insulting legislators he didn't like. He imitated their speech and the way they talked. He went after one senator for not paying his bills.

He talked about a fist fight another senator had lost at a golf club eight years before. Geez. This is so familiar. That is crazy. He introduced more and more wealth sharing bills figuring that FDR was the real deal. He would back them, but FDR didn't hardly any of the other senators backed Huey. He finally started attacking the Roosevelt administration on the floor of the Senate. And then Huey started opposing all of FDR's proposals. Okay. He voted against all farm, banking and economic recovery bills of the new deal. Wow. Okay. Interesting. I mean, okay, good. Quote, every fault of socialism is found in these bills without one of its virtues. Every crime of a monarchy is in here. He would use the filibuster history will prove them right.

Yeah, he would use the filibuster to try to stop them slowing down social security and many other programs. Then he was at a Long Island black tie party in August 1933 when he got into a fist fight in the man's bathroom. Oh, according to his bodyguard quote, he was always kind of sloppy and that night he'd been drinking. He went to the restroom and then to the urinal. The guy was standing next to him. It was an accident. Huey just swung it too far and hit the fellow's shoe and the guy socked him. Oh my God. Wow. He said, Jack, he's swinging his dick around. He's pissing on his shoes. All right, look, I think you have every right to fight a man if he pisses on your shoes. A couple of months later, Huey was on tour in Louisiana to build support for his new taxes

when he went to the South Louisiana State Fair, expecting 20,000 people, but only 8,000 showed up and they hissed and booed and heckled him over what was called the Long Island Affair. Oh, so good Lord. I think there's so much stuff to get upset with a guy about the but I think I think it might have been that he was at right. So he's a populist. Right. But there he is at a big fancy party. Oh, that was sort of the angle was that he was at the every man. I think so. Right. Okay. I'm guessing. Yeah, because I would you would imagine in this era nobody would care about getting their shoes pissed on. Right. But I just that's all I can imagine. Right. That was the issue. Or maybe it's that everyone's just mad he pissed on some guy's shoe. Maybe it's a

combo. That was the luck. The idea that you're there is disgusting, but the fact that you can't find the urinal hole. You know in the South that shoes are wonderful. So people then heckled him at another county fair and at another speech he was forced to leave the stage as the audience threw rotten eggs and vegetables at him. Think about throwing rotten eggs as you really that's like a you've got to plan that. You really do. No, not those ones. It's not spontaneous. Not those ones. Hey, Jimmy, there's a pile of rotten eggs over here. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go see Huey speak soon. So I'm going to I got to keep those nice. They're nice and Roddy. I'm keeping them in the sun. Nice and Roddy. Huey continued to be heckled and booed at events into November.

At this point, seeing it was becoming weak, the old regulars of New Orleans decided to cut all political ties with Huey. A group of Huey's opponents then burned an effigy under a banner reading Long Island Huey. He really shouldn't have gone to that party. Oh, bad idea. He responded by screwing up the New Orleans mayoral election, disqualifying thousands of voters. The mayor wasn't pleased. He told reporters, quote, if I see Huey long, I'm going to beat him up. But Huey was going national. This was no longer just about Louisiana. He went back to the Senate and spoke about his share our wealth plan. Quote, it is impossible for the United States to prefer preserve itself as a republic or as a democracy when 600 families own more of this nation's wealth.

In fact, twice as much as all the balance of the people put together, etc. In honor, right? He's just totally happy. Yeah, but that is, that is, yeah, that's interesting time. He was also now arguing for a $30 pension for needy people over 60, cutting work hours to 30 a week, launching a war on disease insanity and drug addiction, eliminating agriculture over production and making college education free and killing this guy's brother and killing that guy's brother and grabbing up grabbing a strip is boobies. Excuse me. That's legal. As a matter of fact, everybody has to do it. Give me five h five and up. Huey invented the locker room bill. When he asked how he would pull us off, he answered that he would attack

Wall Street millionaires and confiscate their money. Okay. Oh, and quote, quote, I'd cut their nails and file their teeth and let them live. Cut their nails. So, basically turning them into the animals that they are, I believe. Oh, okay. Okay. I thought we're okay. I was thinking back to possum times. Possum times? Yeah, when you cut off the possums tail around its head. Oh, whatever the fuck that was. No, I think this is a little bit worse. Yeah. He also said he was going to quote, hit the roof with an axe. I kind of like that saying. Okay, so he's gonna break through. He's gonna fuck up the top. Oh, okay. Oh, I like I do like that one. Critics said the share our wealth plan was a quote, monstrous and tragic joke.

Huey cooperated the slogan every man a king and asked millions of radio listeners to join up. Huey said eight million enjoyed 27,000 local clubs by 1935. He used his Senate mailing privileges to send copies of his speeches to members. He had a regular radio audience of 25 million. Oh, this was more than the president and all senators combined. Huey Long was a national and growing force. Oh boy. In Louisiana, things were heating up. Huey's governor consolidated even more power taking over school boards, utility utilities, election boards, and more standard oil said it would move its refinery from Louisiana due to the taxes. And Huey responded, quote, if they got to leave, they can go to hell and stay there.

His Louisiana political opponents then formed a paramilitary organization called the Square Deal Association. They formed a paramilitary. Okay. Well, they're living in a dictatorship. Yeah. Okay. In January 1935, 200 armed square square dealers took over the courthouse of east Baton Rouge County. Huey had the governor call out the National Guard. He declared martial law, banned public gatherings of two or more people and forbid or more people and forbid the publication of criticism of state officials. Wow. That's very martial law with some wrinkles. Well, now it's Iraq under Sonoma. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Yeah. The square dealers left the courthouse, but it wasn't over. The next day there the next morning, there was a short armed battle at the Baton Rouge airport.

Okay. Tear gas was thrown and one person was wounded. Half of the square dealers surrendered while the rest ran into the woods behind the airport and escaped. Legislative sessions were now a complete joke. It no longer looked anything like a democratic government. One observer called it, quote, Professor Long's puppet show in which the legislators danced, bobbed, pirouetted and stood at attention in mechanical blank obedience to every yank of the strings. Okay. Doki. One New Orleans rep attended a session so drunk he couldn't stand at his desk. And then he's got to get one of those standing desks. All the rage. And then Huey decided to run for president. Oh, geez. Nice. He ran against Roosevelt and the crowds started turning out. On April 1, 1935, he was on

the cover of Time Magazine. In Iowa, he spoke to a crowd of 18,000. He told reporters, quote, I can take, I can take this Roosevelt. He's scared of me. I can out promise him and he knows it. I love how out promise is like I that what he's saying there is like he'll do more, but that he's saying Roosevelt is while he's promising all these, you know, social programs to make things better. He's also because he's rich, still beholden to that side of things as well. He's saying, I will, he's the guy right, not the real deal. Yeah. Screw the new deal. Take the real deal. Oh, look at you. I should have worked for him. Huey had a long term plan that he told his close supporters, he or another third party candidate

would take enough left wing votes from Roosevelt in 1936, which would let a Republican win. Then because the economy would still be a mess in 1940, that would allow Huey to become the Democratic nominee. Oh boy. Quote, I defy any son of a bitch to get me out under four terms. That's tough to hear. FDR wrote quote, long plans to be a candidate Huey Long, long plans to be a candidate of the Hitler type for presidency in 1936. He thinks he will have 100 votes at the Democratic convention, then he will set up as an independent with Southern and Midwestern progressives. Thus he hopes to defeat the Democratic party and put in a reactionary Republican. That would bring the country to a state, to such a state by 1940 that long

things he would be made dictator. There are in fact some Southerners looking that way and some progressives drifting that way. Thus it is an ominous situation. That's crazy though. He's just playing the disruption card. Yeah, not surprising. As far as the Hitler comparison, Huey said quote, don't compare me with that so and so. Anybody that lets his public policies be mixed up with religious prejudice is a goddamn fool. That's it. Interesting. That's all that was wrong. Interesting take. That he mixed it up with religion. He's a little confused. I mean he's fine. Great guy though. He's fine on everything but the religious. Great guy though. Paper's called. Hell of a planner. Paper's called Louisiana a ruthless dictatorship between August 1934

and September 1935. Huey had his reps passed 435 bills which created some of the most repressive legislation in American history. He would even order the Supreme Court to overturn decisions he didn't like. That's so. He abolished the state bar association and created a new one so now he controlled the lawyers in the state as well. What he could literally like approve the lawyers? Yeah well he abolished it so then he just made all the rules for lawyers in the state. Jesus. His state bureaucrats taxed non-friendly corporations so they would go out of business and then gave contracts. So he's totally shifted to the dark side now. He's completely abandoned the bridges. From a paper quote one man has become the power structure of an American

Commonwealth. Nothing like it has ever been witnessed in the nation's history. While Roosevelt said he was shocked about Huey's use of the National Guard he said there was nothing he could do. Huey told the reporter quote FDR is no damn fool. He knows his place. Oh my god. Dude when you hear that as the president you're like just okay. Let it go. Let it let it go. Let it let it go. Go hit him. But FDR had investigators in Louisiana trying to dig up anything they could on Huey and take him down. The president had Huey followed and his phones bucked. Now the square deal paramilitary group had 5,000 members statewide. Okay. They were investigated for a plot to murder Huey and their lawyer argued quote a hundred said that the bastard

ought to be killed. He ought to be shot. He ought to be boiled in oil. He ought to be skinned and so on. But as far as any plot to kill him being hatched there that is ridiculous. That's completely out of line. Ah no. You want to have a different attorney? Sure. Does that make a good point? Yes it's a little crazy sir. Look we said we'd pull his eyes out and stab him in the fucking hop but nobody's actually wants to kill the fella. Yeah I've heard nothing so far that makes me think death was on the agenda. Right. Yeah. Just fun. In September. Just some kids funnin. Just good time. Just good time funnin. In September 1935 Huey gerrymandered the district of Judge Benjamin Pavey so he would lose in the next election. The next day as he was walking towards the governor's

suite in the Capitol a man stepped out from behind marble pillars raised a pistol and fired a shot into Huey's chest from four feet away. Huey screamed in pain and ran down the hallway toward the stairs. Huey's bodyguard shot the assassin then his other bodyguard stood over him and shot him 30 more times. The assassin. Yeah. Okay and did he die? Yeah he did. The assassin's dead. Okay okay good to know. Yeah his name was Carl Weiss. Huey stumbled down the stairs holding his wound leaving a trail of blood. There he ran into an errand boy. The boy asked Kingfish what's the matter and Huey said Jimmy my boy I've been shot. It's like a fucking movie. Yeah that is a really weird. Oh what else is up? No that's the main thing we're talking about. Okay did you get the

razors? That's I went and got them for you. The main thing I Jimmy is that I have been shot. Well yeah but when you're fine you can shave your beard down. Jimmy pressing situation. Would you want me to go get you something maybe some gauze some bandages? Jimmy do you want some cake? Oh fuck Jimmy. What can I do for you? Do you want to go play racquetball? Jimmy helped him into a taxi and Huey was taken to a nearby hospital. Large crowds arrived at hospital. Weird cab too. To hospital. Oh shit. Oh good lord. No tip and stress. Large crowds arrived at the hospital and hung around. Huey was bleeding internally. Two surgeons were called to come from New Orleans so they want the expert guys but they crashed their car on the way and didn't make it. Okay.

There was a young country doctor who was the ranking physician at the hospital. Oh boy. Oh good lord. Oh this feels like a high stakes operation to me. Well I don't know. You know how my hands shake whenever I got them. Shaking. I just don't like needles or blood. He concluded that if they didn't perform surgery immediately Huey would die so the country doctor scrubbed up and then boxed the operation. Oh man I got that went bad. I knew it. It went real bad in there. I actually sliced his heart in half. For how fast he died it felt like so long. Oh my gosh. He died two days later. I lost my watch in him too. He died two days later and his last words were God don't let me die I have so much to do. The shooter had never met Huey. His father-in-law was

the judge. Huey was gerrymandering from office. Okay. And before that Huey had fired his wife's uncle as principal of a high school and he had fired his wife's sister who was a teacher. Okay. So he decimated his family. This guy was yeah. Who were probably all living with the guy now. So he gerrymandered his organs. So conspiracy theories abound including some who said it was FDR who was behind it. Of course. Eight thousand came to pay their respects and then two hundred thousand went to his funeral. Okay. Huey Long created a public works program in Louisiana that was unprecedented in the south and still remains today. His high his night schools taught a hundred thousand adults to read. He built hospitals made education more affordable greatly

built up the infrastructure increased voter registrations enormously and he was a fucking monster. In 1993 Huey Long was inducted into the Louisiana political museum in Hall of Fame in Winfield his hometown. Boy that's a tough guy to get a read on. So just from a I mean the reason I waited on this one till now because I wanted this one for a long time is people don't really get what fascism is. It's when someone wears like a new pair of pants and everybody else starts wearing them. Well a lot of times it comes out of populism and Trump isn't the guy you have to worry about. Yeah. The guy who's coming in four years the guy you have to worry about. The effect which is truly what Trump was born out of was this sort of effect of political

minds shifting. It was sort of like the way that the Republican the way that the Democratic Party became the Republican Party and the Republican Party sort of now became a little more fringe and sort of tried to activate thinkers who were more old school and that and that has sort of created that created this like anti-government like this you know anti-establishment thing and Trump has sort of formed out of that but I think your point which is true is that baby you just ain't seen anything yet. It's the guy who combines everything is the guy you have to worry about. Yeah. The guy who goes okay I'll take a little bit of that a little bit of that a little bit of

that. It's the the parties are the parties have put themselves a box themselves in a corner and Trump is Trump is a clown. Yeah. Just just picture Trump if he was an eloquent speaker. Right. He's crushing. Right. If he didn't have the weird sexual stuff and all that stuff if he just kept up with the anti-immigrant the anti-trade that this sort of weird populism that he's doing if he's not a clown on top of that he is annihilating in this election. So true. He's annihilating and so he's created a roadmap for a Huey Long. He you're right. You need you just need the guy who won't get in his own way. Right. Yeah. The guy won't get in his own way.

Well that's good. At least we have something to look forward to. But at least a lot of people are pretending like nothing's wrong. I know. And it really is just the craziest. It truly does feel like. Yeah. Like we're we have the house is on fire. Yeah. It's it's that we're and we're dog. Yeah. It's fine. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be an interesting four years. We'll tell you that. Well you want to move to Australia. How do you want to handle this. I mean we can do this from anywhere. We're going to we're going to bomb everybody.

So wherever you go. I got a bomb Australia. You're going to bomb everybody. Trust me. Australia. Yeah. Sorry guys. All those kangaroos. Oh no. My buddies. Not diesel. Not diesel. The Koala diesel. No. Hold it. The one we found on the side of the road. It's going to be a marsupial war. What. Dude I've just got over the penguin stuff please. Trust me. I'm done. Trust me. I'm done. We signed cars. Signed cars. Go to the dollop.

Pikes.com. Sign cars.