The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 23 - The Past Times - Aunty Donna

Episode Date: April 21, 2023

This week Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and Australian comedy group Aunty Donna New episodes of The Past Times will be right here every Thursday. Redbubble Merch

The Dallup will be on tour in March 2026. We are going to be in Buffalo on March 22nd. Then on the 23rd will be in Syracuse. Then on March 24th, we'll be in Boston at the Wilbur. Then on the 25th will be in Bridgeport and 26th, the Gramercy Theater in New York. And then on the 27th, we'll be in Albany. And then on the 28th, we'll be in Pittsburgh. And then on the 29th, will be in Philadelphia.

And then on the 30th, we'll be in Washington, D.C., at the Lincoln Theater. Why would you name a theater after Lincoln? Anyway, that's our March 2026 tour. Go to dolloppodcast.com slash tour for tickets. And action, everybody. There we go. Action, Dave. All right, here we are in studio,

doing a pastimes podcast. Don't touch. Okay. It's been two days since President Biden passed away. Welcome to the past times. It's a podcast where each week we go through. We better not. We go through a newspaper from a random date and history.

We had to care in your episode. Yeah, we kept in about the tour. We're going to have to just hold for a couple of months. You just hold on to it. You have to push the tour because of my little joke. You guys could just make it maybe like December would be unbelievable. It's a month of morning at the moment. All right, everybody.

Welcome to the past times podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date and history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I've never seen it before, and neither is our guest this week. Auntie Donna. Pleasure. So welcome to be welcome here. We've got Mark, Zach, and Broden, all three of you are here. Yes.

And America. The best country on earth, right? Yes. Some would say. Yeah. Some would say. Some would say. Very diplomatic.

Man, keep in mind the president just passed away. I know, which is very sad. You're making the edit really hard if he doesn't. I might have to take him out. It might have to be me. Are you, do you know, are familiar with an Esther? Esther? Yeah, see, this is only what, you know, overseas people know.

An Esther is like a visa waiver that you have to do. Do you get interrogated when you come back to America, or do they just let you through? No, they put you through some shit, but it's not like what you have to go through if you're not from. Yeah, they can be total dicks. I think that's the word. I'm filled with nerves when I go through U.S. customs. More than international. No matter how prepared I am, I'm like, I've got my Esther, my visa thing ready to go.

I was told I need my COVID vaccination thing. I've always, they always throw me a curveball. Really? Yeah, this time it was like, need to see your return flight. I was like, and they didn't get asked that. And like every single time I go there, I feel like I'm 100% prepared. They say one thing, and then I'm like, oh, oh, I don't think, I don't think maybe. Americans fully understand

like in this country when you're coming into this country it's not like that at most customers. Not at all. They're kind of like jovial and like they're kind of like hell was it a good time and you're like fuck you jack like you know but coming here yeah but coming here it's like long lines

yeah just so much bullshit. There's nothing I like more after a 14 hours more than a long line yeah it's just like maybe I am here to blow something up yeah I think I didn't pack my own stuff. I think a terrorist.

I mean, I think I might have tried Coke 20 years ago. I don't know. And you guys have a tour coming up in the fall, basically. Yeah. And people can go to auntie Donna.com. Yes. We're going to the UK, all of America, Canada, Australia again. Wow.

You got them on the list. out is Melbourne, island, Scotland. How long is the tour? Two months? By the world we meet English speaking.

Right, for sure. Yeah, it's two months. India? No, unfortunately. India is fine. But we will get there one day. One day, one day we'll get to India. That's exciting.

We did one show in Hong Kong once. How was that? No, no. Because we thought it would be for expats. It wasn't. It was for locals. Well, that's crazy. And you could see they were watching it.

And a lot of people speak English in Hong Kong, but the 20 or so people in Hong Kong that don't speak English came to our show and they were just sitting there like oh and we thought we chose in a pretty physical hour of comedy but there was still a lot of words and ideas

you need to speak the same language that's when you're realising like I think you need to understand English this boy is screaming and this boy is now screaming I don't know what they're screaming about well yeah so everyone go to antedana.com

go check you out Does James Fosdike do your argument? Yeah. Because I always feel like we've had that connection. Oh, that's what it is. He's been bringing you guys up to us for years. And you haven't been my intention? Not at all.

I was 20 years late. I thought you were like an old lady. They thought it was James' actual aunt. We wrote a best-selling book. Yeah, right, that's right. We wrote a book with James. Really? We had a bestseller.

Really? Yeah. Well, I was a bestseller in Australia. Yeah, not real best. It's like, ours wasn't anywhere. It was available in Australia. I think he put his heart into it. But no, I can't remember the first.

But it's definitely years ago. He was like, he was just, he's incredible. He told us that he had to let go, he said that he had to make his drawings less good because people thought he was just doing filters online. Wow. So he said he had to make them less good so people knew that. We don't know. For sure he's not doing that.

He could be a complete charlest thing. Yeah. That wouldn't surprise me. Is the dollop image him? Yeah. There you go. He does basically all of our art. Yeah, and we did a book that was like based on some of our podcasts and he was drawing the art.

And they like, the only notes they had were like, the scrotum's weird. Like, there were like two scrotum notes and that was it. You know when there's not enough notes? Like, everyone always complains to have too many notes. When there's not enough notes, you're like, oh. The only, we like this. Yeah, we did this, we did this series of YouTube videos for V, the energy drink. Do you have the energy drink V?

I don't think so. I don't think so. Or is that just an Australian? America's not big on energy drinks. Yeah, no, if you go to the gas station here, you will notice it's mainly water and apple. But we have one, it's called V. I guess it's like it's Red Bull-esque.

Okay. And they gave us some money to do some sketches for them, and they were literally like, whatever you want. They're like, whatever you want. And we're like, okay, so we wrote a bunch of scripts and sent them to them. And then the only note they sent back was, will we literally see the sunscreen put into a man's asshole?

That was the only note. Question mark. It was less of a note. That was a question. And we went, no, we don't have to do that. We can. Are you suggesting we go in that direction?

It's just a sketch where we just wrote like a bunch of dot points for things that could happen. Right. The first pilot we ever did was for the ABC in Australia. Yeah. And it was in competition with a bunch of other pilots. And the only note we got from them was we heard from other shows that they were getting big, thoughtful notes. and like detailed interesting notes and the only note we got back from that

is not sure about the dildos. Yeah, and we changed the dildos to something else. And that was like, I don't think we're going to get a series. And we did it. Yeah, I was going to say, when you say we did a pilot, it normally means there's not boring. That's how most of my Hollywood stories took.

What did you change? We did change the dildos to shoes. That's nice. So, did we change the shoes? And here's the thing, maybe if we'd kept the dildo, we would have gotten the show. Or they would have also passed on it, but you could be like,

we really showed them. At least I could have been like, that show was me. Yeah, right. That was my show. That actually, and many things I've made, we don't get picked up. And we go, well, why? We shouldn't have just taken their notes. We shouldn't, you know.

Anyway, we're going to go through a random paper. I always like to guess the year. David can normally be from 1600 to recently, I guess. Wow. The 1600 ones are really weird. I'll guess. I'm going to guess he tries to do one for you guys from Australia. and I'm going to guess that it's going to be from 1813.

That's my guess. Wow. And this is where I leave the show. Good luck with everything. Can I guess? Yeah, please. Up to today? Yeah, can it be up to today?

Yeah. Okay. I'm going to go crazy. I'm going to go quite recent. I'm going to go 1983. That's a really good guess. Yeah. Okay.

Because I think that's a good guess. Thank you. Yeah. 92. Wow. Interesting. I'm going to say 76.

You guys are really 18. I'm afraid you're not allowed to guess that year on this show because America. 18, 76. You went 17 and you went 18. Dave Lee Malone. It's 1767. Holy shit.

That is very early. In America? Yeah, it's in America. The Australia thing I just bought into your family. I know nothing. So pre. pre your, is it it's pre-American,

pre-the-best country on the earth fully being formed. Yeah. Thank you everybody. USA, we support it. God picked it. It's number one. Thank you, everybody.

God picked it. In some categories, that's not untrue. Illiteracy. Police violence. Salad drinks. You do more salad drinks. I'm surprised me. Cows.

No drinks. Police murders. All right. Yeah, it's the Hartford Corrent from Hartford, Connecticut. I was just there. May the 4th, 1767. Oh, Star Wars Day. Did they celebrate it back then?

They did. What were they assholes about it? The first story is Star Wars Day. Luke's father, dead. So this is another thing about papers back then. They would get news from stuff that happened way before. So this happened on January night. Oh my God.

So they're a little bit... Oh, my God. Yeah. That's insane. That's like a whole year. Yeah, there wasn't enough, I guess. Yeah. Three of the writers condemned that...

I'm going to say they're trying to say... Gloucester? Gloucester? Gloucester? Gloucester? It is. So one of the things here is Papers are sold is S's are written as Fs. Yeah.

So it gets very confusing. I'm also feeling really nervous because every American I've ever met, you guys do a lot, you know a lot about your own history, like more than I know about Australian history. And there's always this expectation, like the amount of times I've been like, you don't know the founding fathers? What would I know?

So I'm super nervous right now. Would they avoid writing suck? Or do they just go for it? Well, that is a very tough one because they're like, fuck. Yeah, like, wait. No, he was. It looks the same. He fucked ass.

No, he sucked at. I can't tell the difference looking at them. They look pretty similar. And let me tell you that the ruse of the dollop is that not only do I not know anything going in, I don't know anything about history. On our podcast, I confidently said Ben Franklin was a president. And he wasn't. And did you know that before?

He went to France for a very long time. He's very responsible for the war being ended. Brian, how much of this is from Hamilton music? No, no. Is he in Hamilton? I don't think he is. One of my favorite series is John Adams, and he spends a lot of that rooting French women. We should explain to our listeners

Ruding doesn't mean cheering for No, no, it does not Getting his end in Yeah, yeah You didn't one Australianism to do To find another Australianism He got his end off And he put the key on the flag

And he put the key on the kite Which is also a euphanism Yeah, that's right, we've all done that Yeah, the Prince Albert Put a key on the cake I've done that So Ben Franklin wasn't, what was he? Just some bald shit hat

He was a founding father He was a founding father He was like the Elon Musk. He was an inventor. Was he inventor? He was inventory, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was inventory.

Yeah. This is great for me. Also hated Germans. So. Just like Dave. Yeah. So January night, three of the rioters condemned at, what did you say, Gloucester, were executed there.

And the behavior of one of the sufferers was very affecting and made deep impression on the spectators. Of the other two, little can be said, one was ill, the other was very ignorant. What did the one guy? Who's the guy who won the execution? What was he doing? He won? He must have, like, cried and put on a show, and everyone was like, oh. For my next trick.

So this is Hartford? Yeah. Where is Hartford? It's like north of North of New York. Northeast, basically. Right. And this is nothing to do with sort of those, like, the red, the red coats killing, you you know, protestors, it's just a separate execution.

We're not, yeah, we're not there yet. No, yeah, I don't think that would happen at all. I mean, it could. I'm a little offended at how much more you know about our history than I do already. It's sad for me, too. I'm actually starting doing the podcast with him. Come on, Dave, you needed it. That's the whole point.

But wait, what were they executed? It doesn't say. I think it's one of those things where they're like, everybody knows the three guys are getting executed. So we don't even put it in the paper. You're just supposed to know. You know the guys. This is what the guys are gross. Guys.

Which is just, yeah, but they do that a lot where they underdevelop what they're talking about. Like, you definitely are like, what's going on? And then they'll just, like, go on about, like, a spoke for, like, eight pages of a bit. Let me tell you. Mark always talks about the start of the movie, Sonic, the Hedgehog, where he's doing stuff

and then it frees frames, he goes, yeah. So, yeah, record. This is me. Can you believe it? Let's find out how I got here. So that's the structure for writing news. Yeah, that's why. Like it's a like so how you how did we get here?

Yeah, let's go back. I bet you're wondering why these three guys are getting executed and this guy won the event. Yeah. And then it just ends there. Well, we're not going to tell you that, credits. Next story. That was the whole story. Hang on.

You get those a lot. That's just an execution. Yeah. Three guys, one was sick. One guy was dumb and one guy was good. Do they have, they like hot journalists, looking for scoops? Like, do we have their names and stuff in this?

Or is this just, it's just... Nothing. So is this before, like, the long-form journalism? Do we get anything long-form in this? No, rarely. Not in something this old at all. You get long-form spoke stuff. Yeah.

Sometimes they'll print, like, a letter from a king or somebody, and it's very long. It's all just bullshit. But most of it is just, like, the three dudes, they were affecting. It's hot bite. It's TikTok. It is. That's very... It's TikTok.

It's Twitter. I don't care what he did. So what he screamed to the execution. Look at him, damn. Next one. At the Sessions, which began on Wednesday. Three convicts... For what?

I'm so excited for this. It's great to have you guys experience this for the first. This is what I do all the time. I'm like, what's happening? What's going on? Three convicts received sentence of death. But this is the same. Same story?

No, it's different story. What is going on? This is like the next one down. It sounds like it's like a three stooges plot book. Timothy Tredel for robbing General Elliott on the highway. Okay. The highway. That was pretty common.

Highway robbery. Yeah, this is like, this is their on horseback. Yeah, but that's why I'm like the highway? They're like, well, come on. That's the carpool lane. Slow down, you. Three convicts from, you know, that sounds like us, three Australians. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what immigration was wondering about. Slow down, you three. William Collingson for forging a draft on Sir Joseph Hanky. Excuse me? A draft on a draft. A draft. I think it's a check, right?

I think he forged a check. And they're killing him. I don't know, he'd kill him. He just forged the check. And then you get that. So he forged a check and now they kill him. And they're going to kill him for that. That's execution worthy.

I mean, it's Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah. And now we sentenced you to death. Excuse me? I bet you're wondering how I got here. Yeah, yeah. Getchemy Ken, the head choke.

Death. Oh, this is it. And John Williamson for the murder of his wife by confining her in a most cruel manner and starving her to death. All equal crons. Yeah. All the same.

Starving a woman robbing a general and riding a bad job. check. All the same is the crime. Don't talk about what you guys did because one of you is going to be furious. I starved my wife over 14 days.

I gave her a sip of water each day. Is this a fuck out? Is this in dot points? Dot points? Yeah. No, no. It's just a...

Just free form. It's a paragraph. What if we saw that it was handwritten? We're like, Dave, Jesus Christ. This is my novel. It's my dream job. Often they don't even put paragraphs

and you just read, but this one at least has paragraphs. The poor creature was kind of an idiot Who having a sum of money Left for her maintenance Williamson to possess himself of the money Found means to marry her Okay so she was rich and he

Ah Okay Starved her to death Try to take the money Yeah basically got the rope Yeah right These public executions as well by the way right Is that what you're saying?

Yeah these are public executions Yeah Was it hanging? Yeah I would assume it's hangings Yeah How far away from are we from the same A Salem era, pretty close. Yeah, it's probably near-ish.

Probably before. Salem was, I think, is late 1600s. Oh, wow. I've pretty much got the Crucible. Yeah, and then there's a couple of hundred years missing, and then about the 20s. I'm... You're going to watch There Will Be Blood.

That's how I... Oh, yeah, yeah. That's a great one. Crucible, there will be blind, and then... 20s on, I'm pretty good. Go each, John. All of which, all eras have films starring Daniel Day Lewis.

That's true. That's it. Daniel Day Lewis is my... I bet you're wondering how I ended up here. Yes, you're wondering how I got here. Well, my boy, you see. My boy went deaf and lied to me. So this is like the execution.

Like, it's like the, it's the job applicant. It's just the list of execution. Oh, yeah, this is a great question. It's the front page. It is the front page. This is just describing these guys have now been condemned to be executed. And in both groups of three, there was someone that was referred to as an idiot and a fool. Yeah, idiot's very.

It's very interesting. Yeah. That's why I think it's the three stooges. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a curle. Yeah, right, yeah. So this goes on about the guy and his wife. They were first asked in church, but the trustee forbid the Baines.

Oh, yeah, cool. Baines. Baines. Sure. Bain from Batman. It's, yeah, it's about Batman. Every character I want to keep going, I bet you wondering how I got here. I bet you wondering how I got here.

Oh, so the church must have forbid it because she was an idiot. Oh, so maybe it was an idiot. Someone's a bit dim, like a dim. Yeah, I think she's dim and the church is like, no, no, no, no, no. This is like, this is like, married a mentally handicapped woman. Basically. For financial reasons and then pretty much. Starved her to get her money.

And meanwhile, there's another guy that forged a check who is just thinking now, the shit I could have done. God, you can do so much more. We were both going for money, but mine was just paper. Yeah. It's also interesting that idiot was like back then, you're like, medically speaking, she's an idiot. Yes. Yes, yeah, it would have meant something very different. Yeah, yeah.

The cycles of how far back. The villain, however, procured a license and about eight months ago they were married. Since which the... I love the villain. Usage Usage Can't read that The unhappy creature received

Ufidge I think it is Is it Ufid? It looks like Ufich The Ufij The Ufij the happy creature received Has been one continued scene of cruelty He had driven a long Boy, you can't read this

Strong staple into the wall Of the closet in the room Where they lodged And to this staple he daily tied her With a rope Oh my God. He drew around her middle, her hands being fastened behind her with iron handcuffs. I wrote a check.

I made up a guy on a check. 20 years. I'll take $20. I was like, hey, I just want to get some potatoes. This guy, are you fucking kidding me? I didn't like me over there. I thought I'd like me next to him. Can we do different days?

The little sustenance she received was laid upon a shud. shelf within the reach of her mouth just in the mouth. This is, I mean, horrendous. So that if it, if it, this is a guy from seven. This is. So that if it dropped any part of it, she could not recover. And so the barbarous and so very barbarous was this, this, I can't read that villain, that he often tied her up so tight that her toes only reach the ground. And it. And it If his daughter attempted to alleviate her misery, his daughter, he has a daughter as well. From a separate marriage.

Must be. By setting a stool for her to stand on, he used to beat her unmercifully. So he beat his daughter if she tried to help her out. So the daughter couldn't help the lady trying to get the morsel off the shelf. To quote Norm McDonald's joke, this guy sounds like a jerk. I know the Bible says,

Judge not, unless you be judged. But I'm, uh, I'm gonna make a controversial statement. This was not a nice guy. Oh my God. I hope they go into the other crimes. We even know what the third guy did? There's no room. This is the third guy.

We had a check writer and a guy robbed the general. Oh, I know the guy. I would just love the idea if you go through all of this. The most horrific thing I've ever heard. And the other guy was, it was for like $8. It's like how which hey Speaking to the editor which way should I order this Should I start with the horrible murderer

Who tied a woman up or should that come last? Yeah yeah also like The Czech one's pretty straightforward So is the highway thing The meat of the the article to me is the guy You gotta know where the story I love the idea that that wasn't in the original version They just listed the three crimes

They're like look I understand why he'd kill the first two But can you actually dig into this It's actually very interesting story He mousetrapped her The third crime doesn't sound too bad Maybe if we go into detail People will understand Yeah maybe I'll play up the daughter

Couldn't watch or she'd be hit angle I mean there's a lot of meat on the bone Because yeah Don't say meat on the bone There's a lot of meat on the bone That's a good title Whatever we used to write with I'm hitting it

Did the woman die by the way? Oh yeah Oh yeah From what? Can we get a lot of Yeah, what do you think it was? Yeah, she starved. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah, so we're going to leave that one because that just goes odd and on. It goes on. It's not. It's really not. It's really not. It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's incredible.

I'm going to sound like a mother, but is this a sketch idea? So it's the, but the article starts with two things and then it's like a comedic. Commetic structure is like one, two, and then a joke that goes on forever. Yeah, yeah. Guy wrote the place. Guy who wrote fake check. guy tied up his wife By the way

My backstory My god What a different You know it really was a different time Yeah it was a simple Can you just tell me how it ends The last one yeah She's covered in vermin

And they find her Oh my god That's cool I'm so glad you're I didn't say thank you so glad Thank you for anyone I regret The person who does this podcast Made the call to have edited

I've been read quite a bit They lived happily ever after a Maybe it would be something a bit. You know what? They got remarried. They got remarried. They worked it out. But in the end, we forgave him for all the good beads he did afterwards.

He gave her a sandwich and here we are. My goodness. No, that's horrific. I'm so sorry I asked. I think that's a really good question. You know, if I say I'm not going to read it, it's really good. Yeah, that is so true. Just bear in mind how much was read before the call was.

Yeah. Maybe it's going to. Maybe there's an upturn. But it just ends on we found they covered in vermin. Blah, blah, blah. She was covered in vermin. Anyway, off with their heads. Off to sports.

Anyway, off to sports. She exploded into flowers. Wow. Well, kind of. That's interesting. Kind of. Just a while. This is from Boston.

We hear from Stoughton that a few days since died there, Mrs. Mary Horton, aged 150 years. Oh, why? There's no. That's 220 in today's year. She's flying her ass off. It's like the Bible was always about, like,

was it the pulling the 5,000s and the 2000s and stuff? I love that just incrementally gotten more honest. Yeah, yeah, right, yeah. 150. No, no one could keep track of them. No, no way. Having said that, if you ask a 98-year-old person how old they are, they've got no clue.

No, right. So if you're asking, 150. 150, yeah. What's the best thing about that? 210. Wow, all right. 330, I have. The price is right.

You just have to move town twice back then. You just move town at 20. That's right. That's all you had to do to get to 150. At some point you'd mentioned, I guess it was probably more like 1,400s, but it was like, if it didn't happen within a mile of where you lived, like you just, that's it was up.

So she goes one town over. She's like, I'm 440. It's like proof journalism stays the same as well. is the journalist here's and goes, that's bullshit. Right. But I'll put that in and that's going to be a great great. Yeah, that's right. Well, he's got a tough act to follow.

He's like, uh, yeah, pretty good. Pretty good, Randy. My lady, she's 650. Yeah, yeah. And we put her to death for that because apparently that's the crime. Yeah, she dodged execution. Yeah. To dodge dodgy checks and robbing.

She was a native of Jamaica and in the great earthquake at that land, about 60 years since, she was taken up floating on the water and brought a, hideer by a something belonging to this place. Her husband was also taken up at that time and bro hither, bro hither. Yeah, I like that. Brought to be brought hither, brought hither by another vessel by which means they met together to their great surprise, both imagining each other to have perished in the terrible catastrophe. Boat sank? No, the earthquake.

So they're on an earthquake and somehow after the earthquake she ends up floating. She's floating. I got the floating. Did she not get on a boat? But why is she floating? In the water?

She's floating in the water after the earthquake. This is all a lie. This is all the lie. Yeah, at the end there's just like a calligraphy not. And they picked her up. A boat picked her up. And then her husband was also

taken up at that time. So by another vessel. They got picked up. separate, but in the same vessel. Yes, the same vessel picked them up, but they were floating in separate places. Floating in separate places. Wow. A novel title.

Yeah. A Jamaican fan couple as well. But what did Jamaica mean back then? Like, did Jamaican, was Jamaican a colony? It would have been. So is she Jamaican in the central, I think? Or is she like British? Say the good news.

Yeah, super, super slavery. That's what I was about to say. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when I hit raw. as well. Ro hither. Is that forcefully brought here?

Or is this a north and northern of United States kind of mentality? Or was she the slave owner maybe? I don't know if they would get this written if they were not white. Right. They had the slaves. Wow. They had the slaves. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't think they would write this about. So this is two potential Caucasian British, British-Jamacians. Yeah. Interesting. This podcast is a minefield. It's a very strange, a very,

a very, a very strange little show we have. This is a minefield. A lot comes at you. Yeah. Great questions, though. A lot of times I'm just like, okay. When was the Civil War again?

17s. 18s. Oh, ask him. Civil War 18 teens. 18, 1860, 1860. Damn it. 60, 60. Wow.

That's not that long ago. And also 2024. Yeah. Oh, but. But you know, the great thing is we're totally over it. Yeah, we're not... That cleaned it. It happened.

It ended, shot it up with the boat. It ended. It's over for sure. And it worked out pretty great. And all the monuments and flags from that era of the losing. No, no, no. No, no, no. No.

That's good. Everyone agreed on everything between... Since then, it's been pretty smooth sailing, I'd say. Yeah, that's awesome. It's the begin. God picked one country to make his favorite, and it's a man. And he picked us. So it's a white.

and 150 year old earthquake surviving woman when you put it like this who floated because of an earthquake floated away this is a lie

this is a this is a liar maybe I mean yeah this guy was just they probably there's probably a terrible

earthquake and she was like I gotta get out of here and they let them get on a boat but it's it's really blown up and it's lie now I agree

yeah next story about a month since was born at General Winslow's Farm, Marshfield, a daughter of John Fullerton. I was wondering if John Fullerton had a word at this year. About a month six. I said that I was saying, I was like, I hope we get John Fullerton news.

Well, yeah, you heard Hartford, and you were like, oh. I was she born in 76 or 75? There's a good chance. whose age is 73 years his wife That's nothing He's 73

His wife is 47 He looks so bad Come on I know 150 year old Who shot out of an earthquake a week ago Yeah exactly 73 Next The child being his 17th

Okay Now I'm listening Now I'm listening Boring time He has two daughters That are grandmothers The one has two grandkids Two grandchildren and the other three, the last mention was present at the birth of her sister.

Yeah, okay, yeah. This is fun. This is kind of a repleteley's belief. This is a fun. Yeah, it's also a math problem. Yeah, it really is. What was the average human lifespan for back then? 76 even seems ridiculous.

That's all to me. Wait until you hit the 150. Now imagine. It depends who you are. If you're a slave woman, it's about 38 years. Right, right. Now, if you're a rich white lady, I think it's a lot more. Really?

People still live in that long. I mean, average, but if you got, I think if you get through a certain age, you keep on trucking for a while. But most people died when they were babies, so it throws the whole thing off. They still had sweet grains and tender grains back then. It was also a really healthy dines. Oh, yeah. It was the best to go.

Organic everything. Yeah, they had paneras. It was a great sense of kai. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Mr. Fullerton has 50 grand and great-grandchildren. Four of which are now living.

Okay. Wow. There we go. So the kids all die. Yeah. Like you crack them out because you're going to crack out 10. You're going to get two. Every time you're going to get two good ones.

Yeah, yeah. Every, I feel like that's a thing is every culture, once they figure out more baby mortality, that's the generation that has 10 kids. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, we, like, I'm Irish, Australian, and my dad was one at 10, you know, and it's every, but that's, because they did that. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And then they're like, shit, 10. What I actually got a fucking do with 10. I hate medicine. That's incredible. What a hit rate. Yeah. Yeah, it's not enough.

No. It's not enough. No, but he was like, wow, four? Oh, I don't know, whatever I'm eating. It's far out. Is this the second wife? Like, or, how? 47. 47.

Probably a second life. Yeah, I would think so. Yeah. All right. All right. I'll say a lot of coming. He's still fucking. Yeah.

He spoofed them out. Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah. Okay. Hey. She's young. What is she an Israeli model? Come on.

Come on, everybody. Come on. The past times will be right back. This is some news out of Providence on April 11th. I've been there. Have you? Which one's Providence? Rhode Island.

Yeah. Our state. Yeah, right. The tiniest state. I was just there. Yeah, I was just there too. Don't touch me. I went to those two cities recently.

And I'll keep bringing it up when it's appropriate. It doesn't really do much for the show, but it's just interesting. I hope you say Melbourne. I hope you say Melbourne. Yeah, please. We have the following odd affair related to a. by a gentleman of this town who was an eyewitness to it. Here we go.

Is this another cheeky one? This could just be full of shit. This is just like, this article is literally a guy told me a store. That's what this article is. I don't know how funny language was back then. Like an odd affair, I'm thinking it's going to be a fun little quirky story. But it could be. It would be a man who's kept babies in his basement for 10 years.

A man ate a baby. Come next to someone who tripped over a stool. particularly odd. Particularly odd. It's a bit bizarre. Okay. That on Monday the 16th of March, the Reverend Barrett of Hoppington,

Hopkington. That sounds fake. In this province, yeah, it does. In this province was walking in the highway in that town near the house of Mr. John Abe with a great coat around his shoulders, but on a sudden he missed it. And after looking,

Some considerable time he saw it at about 100 yards from him hanging on a tree near 30 feet from the ground. Oh, so the coat got blown away. It's amazing that the stories we've heard so far, and then amongst that is like, a coat was caught in a room. You're not going to believe this one. I'm sorry, I'm still ill from what he did to that woman. Well, hold on. There's more. He couldn't find his jacket for a while.

Would you believe that? So she just starved and verminate her? Yes, yes, boy, move on. His coat was adrift. This is an English country at that time, isn't it? Oh, yeah. You can feel it, can't you? Yeah, totally.

Yes, yeah. A coat, gone. Now I've heard everything. To get rid of this, we just had to kill him. It's the only right decision this country is. You're like a decade from Chuck Norris just full. Yeah, right, yeah. we must reasonably

suppose that it was taken off by some invisible hand, invisible as in italics. Ah, yeah, yeah. As it was a very calm time and not wind enough to blow off his hat. It's like ghost supernatural vibes. So the hat stayed on

and the coat blew away. Riddle be that, Batman. But he had it tied around him, he wasn't wearing the coat of it. He had it no, he had it over it. Around his shoulders. Like a scaping. Yeah, that's great. Asking for an invisible hand to yank it.

He was. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that sounds different. That could be a miracle. That proves ghosts exist. Yeah, 100%. Yeah.

Was it a reverend? Did the US shoot it out of the sky? Not the, the reverend? There was multiple names mentioned. Did the reverend witness it or was it? His jacket, right? Hopping to this. The reverend was walking with the jacket.

John Abe. Was John Abe saw? Saw it. Saw it happen. Yeah, wow. The coat was taken down. and weighed by some gentlemen, then... Of course you've got to weigh it.

Well, let's see how much the coat weighs. Is this just what happens where you don't have the internet? Yeah. Oh, that's a fun afternoon. Well, I think we all know the next logical step. You're telling me that coat ended up in that tree and there was no win. Get a god, give me some scales. Well, let's have a way and put this to bend.

Bring the way stones. You guys got a few free hours to weigh a coat? That's the week. We weigh that coat right now. Oh, damn it. We'll weigh that coat. We'll talk about weighing the coat. We'll call the journalists and tell them about weighing the coat.

Oh, weighing the coat. Someone's about to get pregnant at the coat weighing. I knew that much. Oh, gather around. All the Reverend is weighing a coat. Well, we didn't expect 5,000 people, but we're not shocked. I don't even know why he's weighing the coat, but I'm simply fascinated. Oh, it ended up in a tree.

Oh, really? Look, and we're going to prosecute an invisible hand. We all know why way. We're going to hang all the women in this village. Obviously, the witches in the corner had something to do with it. And this man who forged a check. Why am I here? Shut up, Frank.

Shut the fuck up. You're losing your head either way. It was found to weigh about five pounds. Oh, strange. That's the end. Oh, it's so Ripley's, isn't it? What is five pounds? What is the...

I don't know. About 2.5 kilos. Oh, wow. That's a very... pretty heavy coat. It's a heavy coat. It is a heavy coat. It is a heavy. It didn't take the hat. Yeah. Yeah. Well, your coat, you have a coat, don't you? Yeah, I've got a coat. Should we weigh it? That's where? Aaron, bring the scales. I don't want to weigh these goddamn coats. It's weighing this coat. So that's the whole newspaper, or is that one article?

That was one, that was just one article, yeah. That's not an article. Yeah, but it flew into a tree. No, the story happened. Like, the, the coat flew off and hung in a tree. They took it down and waited. Beginning, middle, end. But it didn't take the hat. It didn't take the hat. What was the last phrase? Oh, exclamation point. Strange, exclamation point.

Oh, I didn't realize it was strange. Yeah. So that's what you meant. Because this is crucible time, isn't it? This is around. Oh, yeah. It is kind of full on that that kind of thinking could have that dark of an end. We did one around this time.

I think that was in England. But there was like a guy who beat a woman. Oh, my God. Did he beat her to death in like line? Because he was like, well, this is a, witch. Yeah. Like that with this story was like this guy found a witch.

And she was like waiting to get food and he was like, nope. And he started beating her. I do remember. I think he beat her to death, but he started beating her up and everyone was like, what are you doing the old lady? He's like, well, she's a witch. Like, so it's definitely that time where you're like, oh, God. It's just the idea that they would have been a very slight turn and they would

have blamed people for that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Who starved his wife be like, a witch. Oh, because the daughter probably gnarced on him. Then he also said it's two witches. Yeah, she's a witch. That's the best move.

If a coat flies into a tree and there's a woman around, she would just be like, oh, God. She's jumping a bush. She would jump in a bush and be like, I live in here now. I'm fucking that. I hope that coat comes out white. I don't see a woman around. Had to be an invisible. Hold on.

What the, I see her, I see a foot. Next woman that comes by here is in big trouble. I wonder, I wonder if there's a weight for the coat that would make the woman. not be accused of being a witch. Like if it was half a pound. I think 2.5, like 5 pound, that's like a, that's in the, you're at least believe it or not.

Yeah, that's a heavy. Oh, that's strange. That's cute. If you go any more than that, 10 pound coat. You start. Well, if it's like a 10 pound coat, you got to burn the village.

Absolutely. And that I do still support. There's an evil there. So deep. It's undigree. And they all know they're coding themselves in kerosy. They're like, where would you want?

It was a 10 pound coat, sir. Of course it is. Here you go. Strike the match. Five pound? That's fun. That's fun. That's good.

That's fun. That's good. That's fun. That's strange. Seven pounds, we're really pushing it. It's not strange anymore, is it? Ten pounds. One of us is the devil.

I feel like in my lifetime at least, I've seen like there could be ghosts to, like, that's, or UFOs to, that's really not a thing. talked about. It's like peripherally talked about but like it no one, nothing's believable at all anymore. Like when I was a kid, they're like... Oh yeah, I know you mean. I watched the X-Files. I started re-watching the X-Files. That's also not real.

Did you think that was real? Yeah. Why were they filing it? Um, no, I'm more of a scully. I'm afraid. I'm more of a sculley. I'm afraid I choose to scully the X-Fi. It's gonna take more than a decade of seeing a to convince me.

Nice try, Mulder. I'm afraid the X-Files might be real. But I think the funniest thing about X-Files for me is that, like, so not that long ago, it was kind of fun. Conspiracy theories were fun. Yeah. Oh, that's fun. That's a fun thing for a person to think that.

And it's just gone to a little bit. But then when they start tearing apart your society, you're like, oh, that's not good. Well, the stuff that just happened here with us, we had UFO mining. Yeah, we've declared a war on balloons, and we're winning it. Yeah. You worried about your, fuck you, we're coming with a boot up your balloon. But that has really started a lot of that now. Like there's a lot of UFO stuff here right now.

A lot of people think that the balloon stuff is in some connection to UFOs. Tom DeLunge would be having the time of his life. Yeah, we're having a real party. It's definitely resurgent in Ostrange. Yeah, we're definitely living in Ostrange time. There's an orb on the beach in Japan. Yeah, that was strange. I mean, Ostrange.

Oh, strange. Yeah. What was the orb? I don't know. An orb washed up on the beach. It's an orb. Yeah. I don't know what to tell you, man.

I'm sure it's either one of two things. It's either an alien device that's going to destroy life, or it's a buoy. Some sort of buoy. Well, I refuse to believe in either, honestly. They both sound a little crazy. How much is it away? Oh, okay. Yeah, that's a bull.

buoy. Yeah, okay. Yeah, but everyone's Okay, famous last words, right? Wouldn't that be wild

if it ever did that? Like, if that was a night What if it just... What if like everyone's like it's a buoy and all of a sudden

just like rolled over and there was an eye? Oh God! A few years ago we made our Netflix show and we're doing any promo we possibly could

and it was at the exact same time that the monoliths were going up. And a YouTube channel in Australia approached us and said, do you want to help do you want to build a monolith?

in the forest of Melbourne and we'll claim that we did them all for your Netflix show and we said, yeah. So cut to, we've got a trailer on the back of a car with a giant monolith made by some like dudes in the suburbs. We take it out to the forest,

we put it up, we release a YouTube video with these guys claiming it. They try and make it go viral, goes up on Reddit, and the first few comments like, that's bullshit, you've just tried, you're trying to get on board.

And then snapped like a week later, it's got five million views. we're getting us to go on Jimmy Kimmel about it yeah and people will full of like yep it's these guys have done it and it was just all of them oh my god but the best part about that right

the Donalitz yeah yeah we never oh fuck damn we can go back we can go back but the best part about all of that was that that that wasn't their first pitch so the monoliths is a huge thing it got really big views but before that they were like we're going to do a Flintstone's car

and they were going to a car and cut the bottom of the car out and then we were going to walk the car to a drive-through and then someone was like that couldn't find the front yard to do it in because they were from Sydney so no one was that couldn't find a front yard so that we'll just do the monolith I can't be honest I kind of wanted to do the Flintstone I can't imagine you my second here's our second idea we claim that we're doing the monolith it's like sorry these are both your ideas thing we should shout them out great YouTube channel

yeah yeah they know they know how to do good on internet god saying yes to that is just like yep for sure we will claim that we did the monoliths for our Netflix show sure whatever absolutely whatever you want okay sure cut to Neil Gaiman

doing a doing a Flintstone's car to promote the Sandman oh my god ow ow ow oh I think we would have really hurt ourselves yeah we would have lost that that's crazy idea I was quite that's about the Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What if we approach the hill? I was strange. I'm bored there in the end. That's so strange. By the way, you can only break with your feet. Action. Wait, what? Huh?

Stolen from sundry house and shops in Middletown. The night after the 30th of April, a claret-colored new broad cloth coat with flowered yellow buttons and lining rather light than the cloth. A clean, jewellery. genteel gun about six inches of stock. Next, the muzzle has been broken off and glued on with a rag. What? Yeah, I mean, honestly. What?

I love this. Go back. I love this. The variety in grammar. Like, there has not been a, they've not said a date the same way. Like, what was glued on stock? I got lost at stock. Okay.

A genteel gun, which already you lost me, about six inches of the stock next the muzzle, so next to the muzzle, has been broken off and glued on with a rag next the barrel. So they glued a rag? So they used a rag to tie it together? So did they use the genteel gun to do the robbery? Yeah, because was this stolen?

No, this was stolen. This was the item that was stolen. This was also stolen besides the jacket, the jacket and this. How much, do we know how much the jacket weighed, I guess is what we're all wondering. You know what? They didn't leave a weight here, so I don't know how they're going to get it back. A little strange, Dan.

Five pounds we know is about the right. Yeah, that's the going jacket. I'm such a big fan of the way they choose to order things as well. This is again another example of a jacket and also a sawn-off shotgun. With a rag. Tied together with a rag. It's very important that you put in glute on with a rag.

Because that's the most defining detail of my gun. And if somebody sees that gun glued on with a rag Let them know It was a really weird thing I was doing I glued a rag onto the part I cut off Are you writing this down

It's all got to go in And it's genteel It's genteel by the way It's a brute gun No no no no no no no no no I don't use guns for force Anything else stolen Yep

Black Barcelona handkerchiefs A silver watch A collar shirt, three pair of men's shoes, a stone ring, the stone out. Stone ring, stone out. I like that, honesty. So it's just, it's not a stone ring. A stone to stone ring.

A ring four stone. A key I-I-ring. It's just the ring. A quantity of money, both silver and paper. I would have put that first. If you see my money. And a bunch of my money, you'll know it if you see it. There's no mouth.

Where'd you get that? Because I'm actually missing a bunch. Some money. Some money. Some money. A bit of money. They stole some money. Some money.

A worked pocket book. Whoever shall apprehend the thief or thieves so that he or they may be brought to justice shall have $5 reward. Paid by Nathaniel Johnson and Esther Whitmore. Now is this reward still standing if we were to find these? Yeah, I don't see why it wouldn't be. And is that a decent reward for back then? I bet it's a lot of fucking money. Yeah, $5 would be a fair bit.

I bet it's, yeah, I bet it's a lot. I like the idea that it's the same. Yeah, that's a funny. Well, because, yeah. Give you five bucks. Is it, what's the currency here in 1700s? Is it a pound? It's a pound, yeah.

So five pounds. So yeah. Same as the code. Yeah, yeah. Whoa. Well, this is a hundred and ninety-nine. $26 today. Wow, yeah, yeah.

It's not a lot. Yeah, it's not a lot. Yeah, it's not a lot. Yeah, I think that's fair. Yeah. I mean, the item. Although how much money? What is the money like $20?

Then it's not. What's the quantity to your phone? But also, I care about my rag gun. So, yeah. Sentimental value. My rag gun. It was like a big, big chunky gun. No, no, no, no.

It's quite a genteel gun. It was my father's raggun. Yeah, that's a fair reward. Oh, wow. Oh boy, this is some news out of Springfield. We hear from Springfield that one day this week, a young woman of that place died with grief, said to be occasioned by a disappointment in a love affair.

The young man who is said to be the occasion of her death was present a few hours before she died and then offered marriage to her, but it was then too late to preserve her life. It is said the young man now lies at the point of death. This may be a warning to young man, to make a practice of deceiving the fair sex. Whoa, what?

Yeah. Are you sure that was Springfield and not fair Verona? I'm so sorry. The past times of jail, I'm just, I'm so bad. I've been like the Leia that I did Caprio jokes, been sitting in my brain. I've been really regretting that. I'm so glad you threw something in life.

He's died from embarrassment? No, no, I think. But did he propose to her right before she was yes. So I think this is how it worked out. I think that he decided not to marry her. She then fell into, as a woman will, if you say, I won't marry you, she fell into into a illness. Total death.

Yes. And then right before she passed, he felt so bad that then he asked her to marry her, but it was too late. And then she died anyway. And now he is like beside himself almost dying. Are there euphemisms going on here? Is this kind of... This is perfectly factual.

But are people dying of grief, or are they sort of implying heavier shit there? Are they just... Do they think people died of grief then? I think they did, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I would imagine they did. I mean, yeah, they thought people died of the craziest shit from way into the 1900s. So like that she was possibly just dying from like some normal thing.

Yeah, she like had cancer. Yeah, syphilis. Oh, my, yeah, syphilis. He gave her siblings She was dying of siblings And then he was like We can get married now Oh dear

Wow Her nose That's it That's a story It's just It's just something really funny About being like No I don't want to marry you

And she's sick I feel bad Alright I'll marry you And then she dies And he's like Well I'm fucked now I'm so sad And I've got to die now

It's contagious Everybody was like Bill what the fuck did you do And he's like No everybody hates me. Hey, will you marry me? And she's like, it's too late.

I'm dying from your rejection. He's like, this is so weird. I do love the lesson. I guess I'm going to go and die now. Don't play with girls' feelings. Yeah, at the end, that is a very, so if you're going to learn anything, don't mess around with women. It's a moralistic newspaper, isn't it?

It's all morals. Boston, April 16th, last Tuesday morning, as the Reverend William Hooper Minister of the Trinity Church in this town was walking from his garden to his house. Without any complaint of illness, he instantly dropped dead in the yard.

Was there a proposal? Before he got to his door. Okay. He was a reverend. This sounds like God was like... Probably tried to take his jacket. You're not doing a good job. He just dropped dead.

A guy walking to his house dropped dead. A guy from walking from his garden to his house. He had a hot attack. Or he had a heart attack. Yeah, he had a heart attack. I think he was a hundred and ninety eight years. It could have been a witch. Yeah, it could have been a witch.

Yeah, it could have been a witchy. Yeah, one or a richy. That seems pretty clear. And that's just like, that's very, I mean, okay. I would imagine more people are dying, but this guy just... Well, this guy's probably more famous because he's a minister in Boston at Trinity Church. It's a big church. The newspaper, right.

There's no talk of international politics. There's no talk of, you know, taxis. without representation. Some of it's like that's where they just print these long letters and it's super boring and the language is hard to understand. So there's a little bit. But sometimes in some of these old papers, they will cover international news.

This paper is actually surprisingly sticking to local. This feels like e-news kind of energy. Yeah, right, yeah, yeah. The gossips. How much of this is there as well? How long is this paper? Well, the podcast is three hours. I don't mean in terms of wanting to get out.

No, no, no, I was a little late and it's about three hours. No, no, no. I want to finish this newspaper. We're not leaving until this goddamn paper is finished. My question is, I feel like a lot of people back then would have died without complaining of illness. I feel like that wouldn't be of note. Because I feel like your general condition would just be such a more hell. Like your skin was a prison in that time, so much more.

But, no, I think it makes sense that it's of note because if someone just drops dead and you're not aware of what a heart attack. is or what a stroke is or anything like that. That's an odd event. You have no concept of why they were okay and then dead. But this is what I'm saying is now if someone did it, you'd be like, oh, that's pretty crazy because nothing showed up in the autopsy. I feel like 50% of the population would have died.

They'd often go down with the fever. If you have the autopsy now, you would probably find out what it was. And then you'd be like, oh, okay. Yeah, no, but what I'm saying is, wouldn't a lot of people, anyone that died of a stroke, why is this of a heart attack? approach, if you ask me. Mouldery. Very mouldery.

A lot of them would be like, who, again, who's the witch? Who smite bob? But yeah, I think they were probably just like... We didn't kind of agree with a woman or a godhand. Because I think you're right. I think most people died of a fever or had like a... Yeah, most people had... So people didn't get to strokes or heart times. Yeah. The death process would be the, what they would consider the cause of death.

Yeah. And once you start to show the results of untreated cancer, that's the fever of that is the death. Right. In Australia, probably the strokes and the heart attacks that kill people now, people were dying of fevers before they got to anything. Yeah, right, yeah. Hey, I'm so glad we talked this through.

Yeah, there you go. Infections. Like, infections are like a huge thing. Yeah, oh, yeah. Untreated infections. Because this is before they knew about germs, hey. Oh, yeah. This is when they were like, throw a little dirt in that. That'll heal that.

Like, really, they're going backwards on the germ scenes because now people are like, mass don't work. Oh, yeah. Okay. But they really were, like, there was the time when they would just be, like, but but don't wash that utensil. It's about to go in this man.

It was literally like that. You're like, you're foolish nurse. You're going to kill him. There was a person apparently. The first guy, there was this guy in Europe that was apparently like, I think he was saying, people keep dying whenever I do surgery on them. I think there might be

tiny little things we can't see that are killing them. You heard this story? It's like, I think there might be tiny little things that are killing them. And everyone was like, you're crazy. You're a witch. Baby witches? Baby witches? That's a crazy shit I've ever heard. And the guy was like, Oh, yeah. Yeah, we covered something similarly

when they were kind of going through like the genesis of like, now wait, dirty things seem to infect. No, no, I know it's crazy. But listen closely. People are like, here we're going again. All of my American history, or the majority of it's taken

from the Tom Hanks produced John Adams series. Oh, okay. And there's an episode in that where they, there's smallpox, all these wilts, there's a fever going around this disease. and the way to, what's the word, inject, what's the word, vaccinate the kids.

Just take a little bit of it. Take the pus and put it in everyone. And if you survive that good and some did and that was the vaccination. You rub it in their eye. Yeah. So that's fun. Yeah. And we learn now that that was microchipping.

That's right. That's acquiring important data. So slowly figuring out where everyone went. Yeah. The grand plan of where did you go? We're still dealing with it. John Fowler, lying, drowned in, exclamation point. Drowned in.

Hopbrook, so-called, where the water was not anywhere more than knee-deep. I think that's supposed to be the headline, but it's just the first... So he drowned in hot water no more than a feat. Hop, hot water. Hot brook. Hot brook, he drowned in the water. River? No, but it's just water.

knee deep water. Okay. Suspicious. He went from his house about an hour before sunset last evening with intent to go to the mill. He not... I'm off to the mill.

You guys weigh your coat. Not I'm off to the mill. I have intent to go to the mill. Well, I'm off to the mill. Hopefully I don't find a puddle. Well, it's almost nighttime. I'm off to the mill. Well, you know me. I'm going to go to the mill.

Is the mill the mill the car? No, it's an actual mill. Just not to get a meat, I imagine, or grain. Some sort of grain. Yeah, probably. It doesn't specify the grain. It does not. All right.

I'm going to go to the mill at midnight. He not returning, his son-in-law this morning went after him. A little late. Found the horse and the bridle turned with the reins lying on his neck. He, going to the brook, not 100, oh, the brook, okay.

Not 100 rods from the house Found his father A great measurement Why did we get rid of that? Could you step it out? Hey Rod! Walk! How many of the 50?

Okay, great. Found his father lying underwater with his face downward. A surprising spectacle indeed. Oh, good. That's so good. You feel like they get bored. Reach for comment.

I'm a little shocked. He was dead We already used Oh, Strange Yeah Yeah I read it I just feel like

You need to spice it up a little bit Is that the ending? No No, okay Because I love the idea That this is also in the roof For them This is

Oh what a funny little story Should we do a cartoon? What's everyone think? What's everyone feeling? Only a foot I mean really though Only a foot Yeah

The jury's verdict was He fell from his horse Into the brook And was drowned in the water So yeah So probably I remember He killed himself.

Oh, I really I think he got drowned. I feel like he had like a stroke or something and then just dropped in it. But they're saying that the reins on the horse were pulled like hard like he was riding at night

he couldn't see where he was going and tried to avert and off the horse. All made it dragged him into the car. Yeah, really good. I know, we all heard it too but I'm not like, my wheels aren't spinning that direction.

That's the whole thing with characters. I think you might have just solved. Get them on the phone. This was a cold case. Is there any hundred number? This was a cold case. There's more. this man was born in

Britain appeared to be upwards of seven years of age he had a gallon bottle full of cider to carry to the mill fastened to his hand and swimming in the water when he was found so he was shit-faced I was going to the mill well he was English so

my intent is to go to the mill why do you have a gallon of cider what are you my dad it's strapped to your hand oh here we go again I ride better after a couple. Just drink driving.

Yeah. Where are you going? Yeah, yeah, he was just going to go like whack off in the forest drunk. He was like, the mill. Fuck off. I go to the mill. Yeah, he was probably cheating on his wife. Yeah.

Well, I should probably go to the mill. 9.45. We're out of flour. Yeah, I'd probably go get a bit of flour at the mill. We have plenty. I don't like that flower. Not self-rising. It's stale.

Yeah. I'll be about 500 rods away. Don't freak out. You relax, lady. I might grab a little drink. You know what? You know what? I think I got my barrel on my back

like I was St. Bernard, would you? Fuck it. Let's party. Oh, man. Yeah, that's full. That's sad. Yeah, we all dealt with it very sadly, didn't we?

This one's long. Yeah, it was a long one. A few days ago, three Sharper's went to a public house in Rochester and sent for a tradesman pretending they would be customers to him. What's a sharper?

I don't know what a sharper is. So it's a sharpens things maybe? Yeah, it might be a knife sharpener or something like that. I think it's like a home man. I feel like it's a hulegan. Like a sharper. Yeah, because they did, they had ill intent, correct? They didn't have mill intent.

Nice. What was their intent? Yeah. Sharpers. I like sharpers. Yeah. You're a couple of sharpers. I'm still a sharper.

That sounds like a blade run. It could also be in the near future. There are Shiperers here. Yeah. God damn sharp as shepherers. Don't they, do they help you up the mountain in Everest? That's a Sheper. I thought it might have been.

I'm so sorry. You need a shipper. Yeah, I don't know if there are. You need a shiper shirper if you get lost. We don't have a lot of Sherpas in New England. I don't know. I wasn't around at the time. You could use one for the mill guy.

Put some more cider on your back. Am I allowed to Google? Yeah, you Google. It's a swindler. Oh, okay, so it is. Especially at cards. Ah, a maverick. In the course of conversation,

one of them took occasion to mention an affair, which just happened where they had been, that a person undertook for a trifling wager to repeat the words, There he goes, for a quarter of an hour, six... The choice of what to go into detail is

always... I know. Always fascinating. That'll expand. on that. It says success successfully, but it's got to mean consecutively, I think.

Okay. For a quarter of an hour, without moving from his feet, which easy at his appears he could not perform. So for 15 minutes, the guy was supposed to say,

there he goes over and over and over again for 15 minutes. He couldn't do it. To the, okay. What? The man.

It was a bet. I bet you can't say, there he goes for 15 minutes. So the shop. A simple time. Yeah. Brought in the trades person. This is a story they're telling.

And they said earlier, there was a bet, but a man couldn't say, there he goes for 15 minutes. Yeah. That's not that hard. It was. It was back then. Well.

People couldn't stay alive between the gate and the door stand. You'll probably have a stroke during it. The unsuspecting tradesman caught the bait and proposed himself to repeat the same words for double the time. So this guy's like, I'll do that for 30 minutes. Let's go.

Yeah. The Sharper took him at his word and 10 guineas were immediately staked. Whereupon he placed himself facing the dial but left any tricks should be played therewith. He pulled out his gold watch

and placed it on the table before him. Okay, so timing. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Preliminaries now being settled, he proceeded on the performance but here he had made such progress his opponent's swept money and watch off the table and walked out.

So he was getting so far. Right. The con was basically the 15-minute guy was probably in on it, right? Must have bet. So he's like, I'll do it for 15, and this guy's like, 15, I'll do 30, and they're like, dumbass, put the watch down, put the watch down, and he's doing it. Yeah, the watch and the money down, and he's doing really well, and they're like, yeah, and I don't like what you said. Not really good at swindling or sharpening.

Unless this was the whole plan. Yeah, that's what I would think. Okay. So they're like, he's thinking, you know. you've got a fake clock here. Yeah. I'll get out my watch and the whole time they wanted his watch. Well.

You know? Well, I mean, Dave, is that what happens? This is hard to read. Okay. The tradesman supposing this to be only a scheme for him to lose the wager, I think, continued steadfast to repeating only the four mentioned words, there he goes. So he kept... Oh, so maybe they're just trying to throw him off. Yeah, that's what he thinks.

By being like, hey, buddy, you're going to do it. We're out of here. and then he'd be like, hey, what the fuck? We had a deal. And they're like, you stop. Ah, yeah. But he kept going. Yeah, but he was smart.

He was like, all incredibly stupid. Right. Yeah, let's find out. The landlord observing his companions walk out went to acquaint him with his suspicion. When he entered the room, he found his guest as before described, but could receive no answer from him, but there he goes. This guy stuck. So the landlord of the bar, right? Then Lord of the bar.

Comes up and goes, hey man, those guys who just bet you to say, there he goes. Oh, they're trying to throw, right. They're trying to, they're trying to swindle you. And then this guy was like, no, there he goes. There he goes. I'm not going to stop saying it. You think you're going to fuck me? Yeah.

No one can fuck me. There he goes. There he goes. There he goes. There he goes. There he goes. Apprehending he was delirious. It was now judged,

who can't read that word. Requisite, requite. Yeah, that feels like it's in the right realm. To send some skillful person to assist him. An apothecary was thereupon... Does anyone need some lamb wool and garlic? Get the fuck out of here. Is a man who stopped saying, there he goes?

Is anybody here an apotheca? Does anyone need a potion to stop a man from saying, there he goes? Do you need a potion with this man? Oh, my lord. That's so funny. A bit of mushroom and noot penis are to eliminate this. stutter this is escalated

this is going in directions I did not expect this long one is much this long one is much better than the first long one yeah an apothecary was therefore provided

who when entered found the tradesman in the aforementioned position saying there he goes I mean he's a stickler there he goes there he goes he's been saying this for 28 minutes

please cure him arguments they found were in vain they therefore were about to proceed to forcible means to attract his attention otherwise, but as they were entering on their intended operation, the time expired and the tradesmen with an oath declared he had won the wager. So he got to 30 minutes. Yeah. This unexpected change surprised the I can't read the ways, but the guys. Yeah. And we suppose the visited was not. less alarmed when

informed of the trick which had passed on him and to heighten his vexation he cannot now show oh he cannot now show his face without being insulted by the boys with there he goes so they just took the money and left

and now he looks like an asshole because they were trying to stop him and now every time he goes back to the place everyone goes there he goes so his life is hell and he lost his watch that's a fun story I thought it would go darker.

Yeah. I had fun with that. It was like, it was a bit of a ribbon with the boys. Yeah, yeah. I was a bit of a idiot. Did he see, was he facing a wall? No, he saw them, I think. He saw them, I think.

He saw it. They're trying to create. Yeah, but once they leave. Like they were putting a sword through him and he was like, there he goes, there he goes. Their belief is that they're going to take the money in the watch and he's going to think it's them trying to throw them off and stay there. Yeah, right.

So he stays. while they get away. Yeah. Because that's like, you know, that's all. So we wait for the shoppers, isn't it? Yeah, he's waiting for the big reveal. He's like, all right, boys, nice try. They left 25 minutes ago.

That's great. That's so great. Because I can understand sticking through it, but once they leave the saloon or wherever they are, just like, there he goes, there he goes, there he goes, there he goes, there he goes, there he goes. He thinks if he goes outside, they're going to be standing there smoking a cigarette. And plus the fact that they say, they haven't saying there he goes is so great. It's like, he's like, he's like getting the police.

He's like, there he goes, there he goes, there he goes, there he goes. And they're like, what? There he goes. Stop saying that. There he goes, there he goes. Amazing. I love how, you know how the smartest ideas are really, really stupid? Yeah.

This has got that quality to it. Yeah, that's a really stupid player. That's the equivalent of the piss on the bar, you know, that whole. Oh, fill the shot glass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel the shock ass with piss thing. No. No, no, no.

It's just where it's basically, go ahead. Yeah, like a guy says, he makes a bet with someone. Yeah, like 20 bucks. Well, with the bar owner, right? Yeah, 20 bucks. Yeah, it goes up to the bar owner. He's like, 20 bucks, I can piss from here to the end of the bar into that shock glass and I will not spill a drop.

Every single drop of my piss will go into that shock glass. And the bartender's like, no fucking way, I'll take that bet, right? you're going to owe me 20 bucks and the guy pulls his dick out and he pisses everywhere he pisses on the bar he pisses everywhere but the shot glass

and the bartender's pissing himself laughing and he's like ah you owe me 20 bucks and he's like one minute and then the guy walks over to someone on the other side of the bar gets a hundred dollars comes back and he's like what just happened

he's like well I bet that guy over there that I will get my dick out piss on your bar piss on your face piss everywhere and not only would you not get mad you'd be laughing and you'd be happy a bit. That's a great thing. I love that this newspaper is these sorts of stuff. Yeah, it must be from one of these papers.

It might be. The year of people, olden days, people like reading that, be like, oh, get this, get a load of this. Well, well, well. There he goes. There he goes. Last one? Yeah, probably, yeah. On Monday, two young fellows

who were at the execution of Williamson in Morfields. We're back. We're back. And this is what I want to know. This is just the front cover, right? No, we're on. No, this is eight pages. We're deep in.

Oh, we're deep in. Right. We're about at the Juan ads. Yeah. In Morphields for the murder of his wife, on their return home, chatting with each other, and making light of the pain

which are criminal endured in hanging. Oh, my God. What a crazy contextualization. Yeah. So there they are. Welcome back. Jew and the Fat. about the murder that they just saw publicly.

One of them agreed to be hanged for two or three minutes in order to judge with certainty he accordingly pulled a... Okay. This is like a... This is like the third story

in Pulp. Yeah. Yeah. You know what it is? Oh, right. Yeah. It's like, you thought that was the end of that story. Yeah. They were in the crowd at the first three. Yeah. This is the extra...

Clarify me. Guys, I'm going to see if I can hang myself for three minutes. Yeah, because they just saw the execution. So he's like, I bet you you can survive. For two or three minutes. Is this one of the executions we've already done? Yeah, the way. Yeah, this was the bad guy.

Yeah. I would make a lot. I think Williamson was the bad guy, yeah. Well, how? So that's okay. They were making fun of it. Yeah, yeah. I didn't realize it was the guy.

Listen, to those of us who were listening to the podcast, I didn't realize it was the guy who was torturing his wife. Yeah, if it was, either him or the forgery guy, then it is okay. John Williamson, yeah? John Williamson. Yeah, Williamson. Who composed Star Wars?

May the Four. Wow, holy shit. Holy shit. Same guy. Oh, my gosh. Even then they knew. And this paper is actually written in slow yellow scroll. Yeah, so you're not.

It's slowly coming out. So in order to judge with certainty, he accordingly pulled a cap over his face and swung himself off a chair. You are kidding me. This is ludicrous. Taking a handkerchief in his hand, which he was to drop whenever he wanted to be cut down. Yeah, I'm sure that's what the handkerchief was for.

You have to jack off while we're doing? This is, I mean... This is incredible. This friend came up with a story. Yeah. Oh, yeah, right, right. And what was the handkerchief for? Well, he was going to drop there.

You were communicating through hankies. At first he plunged pretty much, but an interval of several minutes passed. Okay, well, several minutes? Yeah, the pet's over. Yeah, you've won. Several minutes. And no handkerchief being dropped,

his companion became uneasy. Don't forget to drop it if you need help. It's been 35 minutes. Companion. Hey, buddy. And thought proper to cut him down. down. Oh, good.

Good friend. That's a good friend. That's a good friend. He put a wood on, did he say. A hat over his face. Oh, hat. So it's probably just a pull, he's probably just pulled down a big hat.

This is so funny. Sure. This is stupid. Yeah, these are dumb guys. This is not. Yeah. I know I said this earlier and I was wrong, but I think this man wanted to die.

I think it was like, I do know what would be so funny. Yeah. I reckon. Let's just have a little bit. I bet I could do it. Yeah. I think he was jerking it.

Yeah. He was jerking it. Yeah. Or he just wanted to die. Either drop the handkerchief or come. I need one. It's amazing. It's amazing.

Several minutes. Cuts him down. To his inexpressible astonishment. I thought you were going to say in excess, which would have been fucking... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To his in excess. Sorry. I know that.

Sorry. It's an extra. That's actually an true. I know he's one of your founding fathers. He's your bed Franklin, right? Yeah. Went to his

inexpressible astonishment. He found him quite dead and was so quite dead. So shocked in the circumstances that he lost his senses immediately and is now tied down raving mad in his apartment. Oh my God.

Right. So he went crazy. and the other guy died. Off an execution. Off an execution. Some would say they were haunted. Yeah. Or it's them sharp as going to go,

I bet you you can't hang yourself for seven minutes. There he goes, there he goes, there he goes, there. I'll let you down. That would be a great twist. This whole newspaper article just kept folding in all that's so time. The Shabalan times. It's just there's so little to do that. you go to an execution with your friends

see that and go, let's give it a go. You're on the high. You're on the high from that public execution. That was sick. Let's just try it. Let's do a little bunch of just me and you. It's like,

I bet I could do that. I mean, I don't know. But you know, like, people talk about violence in movies and everything. This is the only time where we just watched violence, fake violence, you know? Literally people went to watch execution. That's the video games of their times. Yeah.

That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, yeah, some of them. these public executions or these parody executions might be correlated for God's sake Professor. Relax. What else? You got more invisible

witches on the utensils? Apothecary, we're going to need some selts or in urine. As out of his tits. Well, thank you guys. Oh, go ahead. No, I was just saying clearly the man was jerking off. Yeah.

That's not a whole lot of it's like. Yeah, that was... None of that is... Just want to get that off your chance before. The dude was fucking joking off. That was a David Carrity in situation. Yeah, great. Well, thank you guys.

This was so much fun. Thank you for joining us. Go to your website, antedana.com. Tickets. Yeah, tickets. Come. Come. And all the English.

Come like the last man we heard. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I mean. Pleasure. Yeah, thank you so much, honestly. And yeah, next time you're in Australia, we should get a cider and go on a horse into a room. Yeah, we should get a cider in a puddle.

I love it. That would be great. All right, thank you. Thanks, James so much. That was great. Yeah, it was really good. Oh, hello there, dollheads. It's Gareth Reynolds.

I want you to join the Gareth Force and come and see me do stand up on the road. I will be in Spokane, Washington, February 4th. I will be in Bend, Oregon, February 5th, Portland, the 6th, and the 7th. Then I will be in Bakersfield, California, February 27th for two shows. And then, oh, boy, April, here we go.

April 19th, I'll be in Albuquerque, Tulsa on April 21st, Oklahoma City, April 22nd, Dallas, April 23rd. Going to try to see a viral chiropractor that day, but that's neither here nor there. I'll be in Tyler, Texas, April 24th. I didn't even know that. I'll be in Houston, April 25th for two shows. I'll be in Austin at Cap City on the 26th, and then the 28th I will be rounding it out in San Antonio at LOL. Oh, my gosh, and I'll be in Tucson, Arizona. That's rounding it out.

Go to gareth reynolds.com for tickets and information. Also prizes. We're giving away a bunch of trucks and stuff over there. If you just log on and legally, that's not binding. But go to garethrennels.com. Love you.