The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 244 - The Battle of Hayes Pond

Episode Date: February 20, 2017

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine The Battle of Hayes Pond. SOURCESTOUR DATESREDBUBBLE MERCH

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week I comedian Dave Anthony read a story from American history to my friend Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Also a comedian. What is he doing? He's trying to eat the wires because he's... That's not helpful. Well he's a hungry boy. He's a growing boy. Should he have this? Is this the thing a cat should have? Yeah well wait how dare you the other day when I was at your place on the ground. Will be right back. No. Do you want to look who to do? I'll do one buck. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gareth. Dave okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is not gonna come to tickly

quad guys. Okay. You are Queen Fakie of made-up town. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle and do what? Pray. No. I can't eat. No. I see you done my friend. No. Support for the dollop. What's the jerky packet thing? The thing that goes in the like jerky packet that's like do not consume. Do not eat. That was just chilling on your floor. It's because I had to buy a new microphone. Did your dog read English? Did you buy a new microphone? Does your dog read English? Did you pay for that? Does your dog read English? Yes as a matter of fact my dog does read English. Well then I am standing corrected. 1924. How you doing girl? Good. I like that one. Good. You okay girl?

I'm a boy. Oh. James W. Cole was born in North Carolina. Okay. He went to high school in Kinston and that's when he began his criminal record at the age of 17. Okay. Going right into this. Great. It's a good age. To start crime? Yeah. Yep. I agree. It's the right time. He was charged with assault in 1940 but was not prosecuted. Got out of it. Okay. Probably he was like I didn't mean to you know hit him. I'm young. Where's he from? He's from North Carolina. Okay. In early 1941 he was charged with reckless driving and driving without a driver's license. Okay. So that's yeah another thing he did. Yeah. In November 1941 he was charged with perjury

to obtain a chauffeur's license. He's getting classier in his crimes. There's a certain there's a growth that I'm enjoying. Taking it up a notch. Yeah. I wonder I wonder what he perjured though to get a chauffeur's I mean. I mean imagine what you just said. He perjured to get a chauffeur's license. Is that what he did? He really wanted to drive people around. How did he? Where? What? Welcome to the court of driving. Today on Driver's Court. Mr. Cole as I'm going back through your record I am noticing that you said you had a class D license before but as I'm looking at the legal paperwork I can see that you have misled the court. Oh no.

And you have perjured yourself. You have perjured yourself and you will not be getting a chauffeur's license. I just want to be a chauffeur. You will not get a chauffeur's license. I am very upset with you. Is it because I'm white? It's because you lied. You perjured yourself. Did you listen to me a stupid idiot? Right, sirs. Stop. What do we say when it's done? Huh? I bang the gavel. What do I say? Go on adjourned. Oh. I have Alzheimer's. Stand for the judge who doesn't know who he is. Everyone lay down. So he perjured himself on a chauffeur's license and that causes him to get his license revoked for a year. So the whole thing went tits up. Right, yeah.

Well yeah, there's got to be a punishment. Seems like you like driving. A month later he was charged with resisting arrest and assaulting a police captain. That's tough. I mean these are really starting to stack up a little bit. He didn't get punished. The result was that the court ordered him to buy a new set of false teeth for the cop. So I mean literally a sitcom plot? Wait. Amazing. That's what it should be. We should go back to that system. But with everything. With most things. Not with everything. You know, you still got the murder. It's going to be tough. You got a kid. Cut his lawn for life. Make him a new baby, sir. I miss my brother. No, but you like that you're you know

whatever you whatever you do you have to directly fix it. Oh yeah, I like that. I'd like that. Yeah, you know. I think that breaking and entering you got to fix the window and put everything back and kind of clean it. You got to come over and fix everything and then you can go to jail. Was this where your vase was ma'am? Oh no. Why are you? We're the guys who broke in. I know, you're scaring me. Oh yeah, no, well we're violent criminals. All right, we're going to leave the vase here, bitch. Later. Don't shut the door, Harry. In 1943, Cole assaulted someone and the court ordered him to pay the medical bills of the victim. This is great. It's not that great. I mean, it's terrible. It's terrible. He's not getting the clue that he should stop assaulting people.

Okay, so you're saying this is why we went away from the system? Yeah, I think you can do both. Okay, all right. I'm starting to see it your way. I mean, think about the cop that's got new teeth. He's like, well, this isn't great. New teeth. He was also charged with being drunk and disorderly. He then joined the military during World War II and served for a bit. Oh, we're happy to have him. He got out and didn't offend for a while, and he got right back at it. Okay. January 1951, he was charged with assault with intent to kill. Serious. That's like, you're attempting to kill someone. That's like a real deal. We've sort of turned away from the classy behavior too. Really, we're going back. We've hit our peak with the perjury for a chauffeur's

license. Yeah, for sure. No, no, chauffeur. Oh, for sure. I get it. Later that year, he was arrested for drunk driving. Okay, so I feel like he would be on MSNBC on the weekends. Yeah. Extended lockup or something. No, because he never went to prison for any of this. Right. Right. Every single charge was dismissed. And is this just because he... I don't know. He's lucky. I couldn't figure out. I couldn't, all that I could find out was all the crimes that he committed. Okay. I couldn't forget anything else. Right, okay. Meanwhile, he worked as a salesman. Maybe he's a hypnotist. He could be a hypnotist. He could be a guy who throws down smoke clouds. Yeah, yeah. So he hypnotizes the judge,

and then he gets the stenographer. Yeah. And then, yeah, or he could be a time traveler. Also a great theory. Or a shape shifter. Same thing. Come on. So he's a salesman, and then he drove a taxi for a while. So he's got his original job. What? Okay. Well, he lost his license a long time ago. I got it back years ago. Okay. I thought back then, though, you... Oh, no, what am I saying? He's never been convicted of anything. Yeah, no. Right. So... By the way, that all sounds so crazy now, but Uber. Yeah. Literally, anyone. No, Uber. There's a great letter that came out of Uber today that everyone should read. The one who worked there wrote. It really paints them in the great light.

Stop using Uber. So, oh, while he was driving a taxi, he picked up the nickname Catfish. Couldn't figure out why. Well, it's probably not for the same reasons you'd get it now. He started a fake Facebook and cons someone into meeting him. Come on. That's what I'm talking about. Oh, wow. But why is that called catfishing? Okay. That's called catfishing because... I don't know. I don't know. He's got to be reason. Maybe it's because you think it's a cat and it turns out to be a fish. I look forward to all 60 people telling me. Yeah. It'll be an obvious one. That's gonna be our winner for the next month. Never ask a question on the dollar. Yeah. In 1953, Catfish... Now we're gonna call him Catfish.

Okay. Catfish got married and he and his wife, of course, went to Southern... Mrs. Fish? Mrs. Fish. You saw this at home. Yeah. Great. And then the two of them together, the couple, went to Southern Bible College in Marion, South Carolina. Great. Great college. Catfish was ordained into the ministry. Under the name Catfish? No. He was James Cole, but we're calling him Catfish. Okay. Reverend Catfish would be good, though. Yeah. Yeah. Father Fish? Call me Cat. He quickly began touring the Carolinas as a tent evangelist. Oh, God. The best. Catfish. Now here we go. Also, you don't want to have a tent and say, put up a sign for Catfish because people are like, oh, no. He's a man. Oh, no. Maybe we just

think he was selling Catfish. Maybe either. Yeah. Maybe that's how he got the name as he sold Catfish out of his trunk. Why his trunk? What? Where else are you going to keep the water? I'm done with this conversation for sure. I'm over questioned. How's the tank going to work? Buddy, move on. He also started doing his own radio show, a Sunday morning program called The Free Will Hour. Okay. All right. And of course, it was at this time that he joined the Ku Klux Klan. Oh, God. Welcome to WKKK in the mornings. Hey, I'm Catfish. I'm the ones and twos. Listen, everybody. We're going to get into some drive-time traffic. Lot of ethnics clogging up the freeways as per usual. Catfish? Yeah. Can we talk to you off air for a second? How was that? It's about

your behavior with the traffic report. Well, it's good, right? Not good. Call it a lack. I see it. All right. Tell him the truth. All right. Get out of here. It's called tell the truth. Get out of here. Tell him the truth, traffic. Oh, God. Put him in the trunk. Okay. There's too many catfishing. So he quickly moved up the ranks in the clan and rose to the rank of grand dragon of both north and south Carolina. You know what's great is when you rise up in the clan, it's almost like in reality, you're rising, you're lowering. You're just dropping further and further. With each rising with the stupider name. And look, getting merit badges at the KKK is like, oh, you're an even huger prick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. To rise up, you have to be a total douche.

Yeah. The worst. Okay. So anyway, Catfish is in the KKK. Is he spelling his name with a K now? No, but that was a joke that came later. Okay. Oh, well, as long as my humor is in line with the clans. It's what matters. Starting in 1954, the clan began to turn up the heat after the Brown versus Board of Education ruling. The ruling led to forced integration of state public school system, which led to whites being very angry and increased membership in the clan. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Good stuff. What else are you going to do? You got to fight back. Yeah. Resistance. Good old whitey. Good old whitey. Thank God for whitey. So this is obviously the south is super segregated at this point. And in 1956, the KKK Atlanta Imperial Wizard,

Elden Edwards, who we had. Yeah, we've had him over for dinner. Yeah. A commissioned reverend James Catfish Cole to oversee the reorganization of the clan and the Carolinas. And soon Grand Dragon Catfish was leading huge rallies attended by as many as 15,000 people. Dude, because when you say Grand Dragon Catfish, people think they're going to see some sort of Game of Thrones beast. Look, Grand Dragon Catfish is playing at Space Land this week on Friday. Look at him. He's a dragon with whiskers who can go into water in his purring. And why can't that be a thing? And he's connected to God. How can that not be? Why can't there be that? The kid looks me the other day and he goes, all I want, all I want is for Pokemon to be real. Wow. Well, never going to happen.

Well, I got terrible news. You're going to need to lower your expectation, kid. And he goes, I'm going to ask Santa. And I'm like, dude, Santa can't. I was just telling someone this story about how when I was like seven in my head, I like had this idea to build this like mega fort in Wisconsin, but we were in Florida. So my parents like, Oh, what are you going to ask Santa for? And I was like, a lot of wood. And they were like, he might not give it to us while we're in Florida. I was like, he will. If I ask for it, he will give it. And they were like, and then Christmas came. And I was like, I can't believe you didn't give me the wood. They're like, well, because we live so far away. I'm like, but he should know. He knows that I need one. Whatever. Well, it better

be in the yard when I get home. Like, I guarantee he's going to be like, I asked for a Pokemon. Yeah. He's like, Santa can do anything. I'm like, no, he can't. Well, that's when I can look. Say the word and I can get back into the kids party costumes. Okay. Okay. This happened. So at rallies, cat, catfish would encourage. I'm alive. Yeah. No. At the rallies, catfish would encourage violence against blacks and urge his followers to intimidate blacks any way possible. Well, what not to be just a speech, but isn't that what isn't that like all their speed? Isn't that like the whole thing? Are like, what else do they talk about? Well,

I mean, he but you also are all right, the person who wins the potato salad bake off. Well, so this is this is a which isn't baked. This is a resurgence of the clan. So he's sort of, you know, because now there's a new members and he's got to get out there. There's a new wrinkle too. Right. Right. And as you can tell, free speech totally works. Yeah. Because he's getting more and more people. Right. The clan began driving in motorcades through black neighborhoods to terrify the people living there. Often cops went along for the ride giving the excuse they were just there to keep the peace. Wow. Well, that's a good sign. Well, that's got to help the black people who are like, Oh, good, the cops are with them.

Oh, at least the cops are here to referee the fight that they fixed. But apparently, hating black people wasn't enough. And catfish began rallying people to go after native Americans who he felt were getting a pass as they also benefited from forced integration. Right. Yeah, they we forced integrated. Well, I mean, if you look at that, right, that's worse. We didn't even integrate. We super first. We we we we rape a graded. It was it was the worst integration ever. We interraped. Now I'll stop. Thanks. Thanks. So as I began to be directed at Robison County, North Carolina, which is located on the North Carolina, South Carolina border and had a very large Native American population.

Robison County was unique because there was a tri-racial population of whites, blacks, and Native Americans. There were 40,000 whites, 30,000 Native Americans, and 25,000 African Americans who were segregated, but all living within miles of each other. Okay. So it's perfect. They're everyone's separate and unequal. Right. Good. Great. The Native Americans. So, okay, well, get back to that. So each race had their own separate school system as well. Okay. It's a totally segregated right place. The small town of Maxston was first settled by Scottish immigrants in the 1700s. Sort of settled. People were already living there. They kind of double settled. We're moving in as well. Hello there. You're right.

What? This is my house. No, no. It's our house. In the middle of our street. Come on, everyone. Our house was with me. Sister singing. Okay. Get their heads off. We live here. There. Several tribes had called the county their home for ages, but their true histories unknown. The earliest record of the people living there refers to them as mulattoes. Okay. An early book said they were a mix of white, black, and Indian. Others said they were a mixture of Indian and Portuguese. Okay. Portuguese slaves who lived more like sharecroppers were brought over in the 1600s and some ended up migrating to the Carolinas. Either way, this tribe was considered mixed race and many North Carolina wanted to classify them as black in the early 1800s.

Because you got to classify people. Well, yeah, that's the... They got to classify. Like, why? Well, then you know whether to be mean to them. Yeah, exactly. I'm sorry, Jim. Have you been classified black or white yet? Yeah, I'm black. Yeah, what a bitch. I'm kidding. I'm white. Oh, no, I'm black. But why I am black. Fuck you. Oh, fuck yourself. Dude, I'm white. Let's go get a beer. I can't. I'm black. I'm done with this. The tribe pushed back, obviously, against this classification. They had an issue? Yeah. Can I say they are very pushy? Thank you. Always very pushy. Well. They're like the network. They always have notes.

Okay. So in 1885. 1885? So in 1885, I may have fucked up. It's going now. The tribe were recognized as the Lumbee tribe of North Carolina. Right. They're named after the Lumber River that runs through the county. Okay. Because Lumber. Right. So Lumber Lumbee. It's kind of like a pet name. Drop the R. It's like a nickname. It's like a pet name. That's what I call it. Yeah, that's it. Well, my Lumberjack friends, I call them Lumbees. Where the Lumbees going after work? How do you? I'm like a Lumbee groupie. Well, where do you see the Redwoods? Right around here? There'll be no more questions. The reason they were recognized as the Lumbee was because after reconstruction, there was a bi-racial,

populist movement growing, the movement threatened to bring together poor whites, blacks, and possibly the Lumbee. God forbid. Could you imagine all the poor people getting together? Oh God, then you have socialism and then people are happy like in Sweden. Yeah. And then the meatballs come. It's much better. Then the meatballs come. I'm just saying it's much better if the poor people are tearing each other apart. Right. So that is the plan. The plan is that a nuclear option to stop the pores from basically from ignore it. Like the last thing you want is for them to ignore race. How do we stop the poor from getting together? Which is really what our system is set up for. It's like the more that you just are like,

no, no, no, you hate each other. You hate each other as we're all like poor as fuck. You know, like, no, you guys still hate each other though. We're like, yeah, I do. I don't agree with you on that. It's like, no, no, they left through the back of the bank an hour ago. Well, you guys were shouting about lollipop options. Yeah, seriously. So to thwart this coming together of these these groups, all the pores, Democratic State Representative Hamilton McMillan came up with an idea to officially recognize the Indians of a Robinson County as the, well, let's say the Lumbee Indians and create a separate system of schools for them. Right. So they're getting Lumbee high. Right. So they're getting

a separate status. They're getting Lumbee high. They're getting Lumbee middle school. They're getting little Lumbee elementary. Right. Right. Little Lumbee. Little Lumbee. Right. So they get separate status, which gives them a social status above blacks, but below whites. It's the sweet spot. The real sweet spot. Sure. Sweet spot. Right. So you're not getting you're not getting the the Jim Crowish nightmarish laws that the blacks are getting. You probably you probably your schools are probably a little bit better. It's like finishing second on Jeopardy. It's like finishing second on Jeopardy. More than the last guy. Yeah. That's right. You're not the guy that got less than the four day champ. Yeah. Right. Every time I've been on at midnight, I've

been I've come in third. You can say last third. They cheat. They cheat. Okay. All right. It's a cheater show. Is it a cheater show? I feel like. So the Lumbee then voted for McMillan and his fellow Democrats who remember are total racists, right? They're the Democrats. They're fucking racists. Right. But again, and are they they're making a deal with the devil. Right. So they're getting to have their own school system. The Lumbee. Yeah. The Lumbee are saying we will take your deal. We're taking your deal. Right. We're going to get the middle status. Right. Get our own schools. We know we're not going to finish last. We know we're not going to finish first. Right. Right. By the end of the 19th century, the Indians of Arrabasan County, as they call themselves,

had established schools in 11 of their principal settlements. So it worked. After Catfish made Indians the new target, clan cars began cruising through the Lumbee neighborhoods of Macston, St. Paul and Red Springs. Okay. So they're doing like late night, maybe dusk. Sure. I don't think it's afternoon. But they're just doing like drive-bys but with their voices. Yeah, the drive-by. They go, you're all bad. Yeah. Right. Well, I hate you. You were here before us, but don't fuck yourselves. Like stuff like that. Hey, Danny, let's talk about what you shot at the window next time. Okay. Yeah. But before I shot it. Yeah. Yeah. We should workshop stuff. Hey, we came to your land and then now you're worse. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, we're talking

about how it's their land. Right. The whole thing is we don't care. Not their land. I was saying that they were here first. Yeah. But shut up about that part. I don't think anybody... I don't like to hear their rash now. I don't want to hear their side of the... It's not their rash now. That's actually history, my man. I understand, but we're not talking about that. They don't have to be better than us just because they were here first. I'm saying... Wait a minute. Let's take the hood off. He's a lumpy. Oh, shit. He's a lumpy. God damn it. So, former mayor of Maxston, quote, they wanted you to see them. They wanted you to be afraid of them, and a lot of people were afraid. So with integration, Catfish put a target on the lumpy, right? Okay, right. Catfish told the

reporter, quote, there's about 30,000 half-breeds up in Robeson County, and we are going to have some crossburnings and scare them up. But... He just told the reporter that. So, and that is like what is going on. That's what's always been going on, is the idea that if it's interesting, even if it's shitty, a reporter will want to talk to someone about it, and they'll put it on your TV, and it'll normalize it further, and you'll go, oh, it's not that crazy to hate the lumpy, the fellow on the TV hated them. All they're doing is driving around and scaring them in cars. Like they said they were going to do it. Come on. They're going to have some crossburnings. What's wrong with that? Also, crossburnings are... Fun. But they are very... They're nothing more than...

They're nobody's ever on... It's like tea peeing a house. Right? It's a lot like just... It's like you're like, hey, it's going to be real annoying tomorrow. Oh, man. Hey, hey, lumpy. Good luck cleaning up the cross. Oh, man. We have really... Nobody heard them. Nobody heard them. Don't touch a hair on their body. On that note, it would be reverse intimidating if someone put a cross on your front lawn and set it on fire. If you grab some marshmallows and sticks and came out and started just started cooking. Thanks. Thank you. Like they wouldn't know what to do with that. What's... No, you're supposed to be scared. What I am is warm. I'm making marshmallows. Do you like s'mores, boys? Don't talk to them. Take your hood off. Get some s'mores. I love s'mores.

Yes, you do. All right. Stab, stab, stab. So, in January... Oh, fun. Fun with the clan. So, on a night in January, 1958, Catfish and several clansmen invited a local reporter to accompany them while they quote sent a message about race mixing to the Lumbees who started out as when the white man got there, they were already a mixed race people. Yeah. So, you're sending a message to someone right who was like that when you got there. Well, Dave, I think when you when you're dealing with reporters, anything can be breaking news. So, that night they... Bill Cosby wasn't a racist until Hannibal Burris repeated it and then everyone was like, oh, we should talk about this. What do you

mean what happened to Cosby? Uh, we should... Nothing. He's got a new show where he plays a blind rapist and it's called Real Life. We'll talk after. We'll talk after. We'll talk after. That night they burned a cross in the community of St. Paul at a Native American woman's home because she was dating a white man. Learned your lesson yet? Huh? Look at this thing. Close your curtains, lady. You date a white man, you're gonna have to clean up burned wood in the form of Jesus. How dare you love someone not like you. Wow. Unbelievable. In Bolden... I wonder what it's like to love. Huh? I mean, yeah, screw them. Screw them, man. In Bolden, Catfish then gave a speech

denouncing the loose morals of Lumby women and warning that venereal disease could be spread to the white population by their well-known promiscuity. So, the... Okay, so the the racist men are concerned that sex with this race that we want to have nothing to do with might give you VD. Right. So, we hate them for everything. They're awful. They are devil people. Also, when you fuck them, watch out, you might burn when you piss. Here's the deal. They're awful people. Right. And when you fuck them, they give you venereal. Right. Okay. So, that's almost makes them... Because I hate them, but then when I fuck them, like, I have to go to the doctor. Dave, do me a favor. I don't want you to ever be around another dog again. Okay? The dogs are the worst.

Don't ever be a rounded dog again. Also, if you're rounded, take Claire to know help your allergies. Thank you. Okay. I thought you were going to say I was a dogfucker. Oh, boy. You mean the dog catcher's enemy? You better help the dog catcher get some before the dogfucker does, because one of them ends up at the pound, the other one in the ground. Wow. Wow. Sorry. She got dark, man. Yeah, it rhymed, though. Catfish in the clan, try to intimidate. We'll be right back after these messages. It's the name that has got to be the name of a band. Catfish in the clan is brought to you by hoods. So, they try to intimidate lumpy men by burning a cross at a tavern the lumpy were known to drink at. Okay. How they're doing that? A lumpy bar. Catfish then openly

denounced the lumpy men as, quote, lazy, drunken, and prone to criminal activity. Right. From catfish. From Dr. Crime. Yeah, from Mr. Crime. From the guy who had to replace a cop's teeth. Yeah. Who had he been black or Native American would have been in prison first crime. Yeah. Instead of the 30 he got away with. I mean, dude, he perjured himself to be a chauffeur. Well, he was clearly going to court going, I'm white. All right. I'm sorry. Couldn't tell under that hood. A few nights later. Slap his wrist. With a reporter in tow, so they have another reporter or the same one. A new reporter. They might be the same one. I don't know. They went to the home. I think they're killing these reporters. I hope so. Okay. They went to the home of a Native

American family who had just moved into a white neighborhood and burned another cross. Good. So. I thought of wood they're going through. Yeah. You want to be the lumber liquidators near these guys. Right. Yeah. Think of the clan now had the lumpy frightened. Catfish told the reporter that he was planning on a large clan rally the following weekend somewhere in or near Maxden, which was the heart of the lumpy community. At the rally, catfish plan to speak about the quote mongrelization of the races and to tell his followers to quote put the natives in their places. That's his I have a dream. Yeah, that's his I have a dream speech. You can watch it on YouTube. It's very moving. Very good. You've never seen a catfish in a robe give a better speech. Yeah.

When the local sheriff heard about the plan, he drove down to South Carolina to try to talk some sense into catfish. He told catfish that this was not a good idea because the lumpy were not the sort to take a lot of shit. Oh, but catfish decided to go ahead with his rally anyway and made a public statement. I want to have my rally anyway. Quote, I can't finish. I'm for segregation. Okay. Wait, he called them half niggers. Wait. What? I'm for segregation. Yeah. Okay. Oh, right. Sorry. Sorry. He just said the most contradictory thing. I'm for integration. I don't drink. I'll have a Jameson. This speech just infuriated the Lumby more. The location of the rally was supposed to be secret, but the Lumby's learned of it and went and waited. But the clan maybe it

was the reporter might have been that it was on the news that night. But the clan found out the location, found out that the Lumby knew the location and they called it off. Okay. That was Friday night. The next night, Sanford Locklear, who was a Lumby, was in a barber shop when he heard the location and time of that night's rally. So they're really there. Yeah, there's a lot of leaks in the clan. There's a lot of just like, we're still trying to find the leak is going to the thing at day 30 tonight out at the old Jenkins farm. Yeah, don't tell this Lumby next to me, though. Okay. Hey, see you there. We're going to be there. Hey, we're going to be there. Not you though, Lumby. The rally was supposed to start at 8 30 p.m. The first clan cars pulled onto a small road that

led around Hayes Pond and parked near the middle of the barren cornfield about 10 who was the opening dragon. But 10 clansmen got out of their cars. Only one was wearing which I'm picturing is like what happens with the clown car except with clansmen where they're just driving around in circles as clowns and balloon like balloons are just flying out of windows as clowns are just getting out with poodles just 30 honking honking clan hoods clan circus. Have you been a clan circus? It's really good. You got to go to clan college. Yeah. They have the white rope walker. The he's pretty much the only. So another was dressed like a cowboy most were wearing heavy winter jackets because it was supposed to be in the mid 20s that night. Okay. So it's cold. Okay.

Might want to get like a, you know, like a broom. Anyway, I'll stop. I'll stop. They all had guns also. Good. Clansmen were very confident as catfish told them at least 500 would show up that night and they were clearly used to intimidation. One of the clan said to reporter quote, you better be careful. We'd hate to shoot the wrong man. Do they just is one of them is the did they kidnap a reporter? No, I think that the reporters just love his story. Just this one reporter who's just like smoking meth like, I can't wait to see this to the end. It's gonna be great. Or he now has developed some sort of weird like fast like love of catfish. Yeah. Well, he's embedded. He's embedded. He's in a catfish. Um, I got some of those stains out of your hood. I feel like I'm part of you.

A part of your gang. Hey, do you think um, I don't know if this is crazy or whatever. I don't never mind. Well, do you have, do you have ropes for reporters? Hey, like, uh, like, um, I don't know, like a pink one or like a blue one or one or a white one that just says press on the side. Do you have temp temps? So temp ropes? I don't know. Do you hire temps? I'll just wear this ghost outfit. Hi. Hey, sorry, let's take it from the top. Got it. Here I am being that guy again. Do you want a beer? It's a great story. Oh God, I don't even, do you drink? I don't, I do. We both do. God, it's so good to get out of the studio and just like, pick your brain catfish. I mean, you were just like, yeah, I bet you get all the girls

and any, anyone you want. Oh, what's under that robe? I always ask myself when I'm going to sleep. Oh God, an actual catfish. Tell no one my secret. That would be the best thing ever. The Klansmen got busy setting up their little rally environment. They put a light pole and hung a single bulb from it. Okay. So everything, the decorations are set. They set up a PA system with a phonograph and plugged them into a small portable generator. Yeah. So like we're saying, beautiful scene. It's like wood stock. They also hung a three by five foot white banner that had KKK on it. Hey, well, they're setting up. Yeah. It's good. They know how to, they know how to decorate it. Also, can I say this? No matter how

you're spacing out KKK, it's too small for a banner. I agree. Either you have a lot of like, give on each side, book ending it, or your K's are too far apart. It's fucked up. You sound like a stutterer. Over the next hour or so, more and more Klansmen pulled into the vacant corn lot. In three cars. Some parked near the light pole and they started gathering there in the center of the field. But most of the cars, the vast majority of cars, each carrying three to six people parked alongside the road on the edge of the field. These were the Lumbees. Most of the Lumbees present that night were men, but a few women also went, including Pauline Locklear, quote, it was something to see. I guess I was a rebel at the time.

The drivers and passengers waited inside the cars with the engines running to keep them warm. Smart tactic. Yeah. By eight o'clock, the number of Lumbees cars on the road greatly outnumbered the clan on the field. Okay. But because it was dark and the Klansmen couldn't see outside their little light cone, they didn't know how many were there. Oh God. Fuck. I mean. And nowhere near. When ego meets reality. And nowhere near the 500 expected Klansmen had shown up. The number was closer to 100. They should have little like firefly lights on there. The Robeson County Sheriff who had driven down to South Carolina. Sorry. I just

realized it's Robeson. Robeson. Yeah. And they're all in KKK robes. I didn't think about that. Or it's Robeson. Robeson. Either way. It's a little close. I think it's Robeson. Well, yeah, I didn't think about that. Get your robe, son. So the guy driven down to talk to Catfish, remember him? Yeah. So he's there standing with a couple of his deputies near Catfish just outside the main circle of Klansmen. A dozen highway patrol officers who were told only to move if trouble started were out of sight about a mile down the road. So, okay. So basically out of. Yeah, they're hiding out. Right. Right. And Catfish continued to prepare for the rally. He rehearsed his saltwater and his gills rehearsed the speech on the evils of integration. Beautiful speech. Then the PA system

played Christian hymns, including Neil at the cross. Because this is something Jesus would love. Yeah. Seriously. Remember Jesus? Oh, Jesus was like. See you, Drasist. First of all, I'm super brown. Yeah. Secondly, I hate me. Yeah. About 15 minutes before the rally was supposed to start, the Lumbies got out of their cars and started walking across the dark field towards the Klansmen. Oh, yes. Yes. About 400 not at all pleased Native Americans slowly and deliberately walked towards the Klan. Most of the Lumbies were heavy winter coats, leather jackets and fedora hats. It's great. The best. Yeah. And remember, they're coming from all sides. Yeah. Yes. It's great. They were armed with rocks, sticks and guns. Oh. The Lumbie then started taunting the

Klansmen and yelling things like, we want coal and goddamn the KKK. Obviously not what the Klan is used to. Right. They're like, no, this is not why I joined. Sorry. I did not join for this. You guys can't have any of the punch or donuts either. The Klan members responded by calling the Lumbies half niggers. It's not a. It's just not. It's not a great. It's not witty. At this point. Well, they're not. Generally, that side is not witty. Oh, come on. Have you seen the memes the alt-right makes? Yeah, they're very hilarious. I mean, look, if they could get the theirs down. At this point, the sheriff pulled catfish aside and said, quote, you know how it is. I can't control the crowd with the few men I've got. I'm not telling you to hold them hold the meeting,

but hold the meeting, dumbass. I'm not telling you not to hold the meeting, but you see how it is. And it was pretty clear the clan was now completely surrounded by hundreds of people they were supposed to intimidate. And catfish refused to call it off. Great. The Lumbies slowly moved forward, inching closer and closer. And as the minutes ticked by, hundreds of Lumbie circled the Klansmen. By 825, the two groups were close enough to see each other's faces in the glow of the light pole. So now they're really getting out. The Klansmen are really like, oh, there's a lot of these guys. So because they can't. Yeah. Remember, like, if you're on a stage or you just have light, you can't see all that far out. And so as the minutes get closer, they're

like, oh, this is a big crowd. Hey, you guys, are you scared of us yet? Where are your robes? Oh, I think some of I think of I think just the first car that showed up had one row, but I think a lot of them put on robes now. So there's a few in robes now. There's few, which is great. It's great. It's great to put your target on. Rifles clicked, guns were locked and loaded. Reporters readied their cameras for whatever it was going to go down. It was now just moments before the scheduled rally start time. Sanford Locklear, Neil Lowry and Simeon Oxendine were the young Lumbrey, Lumbie, who were leading this, this, this group, right? The leaders who put all this together.

They're Sanford and his brother lost at Ford and asked the clan what they were doing. Catfish said, quote, we come. Hi, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather. We came here to listen to Christian record and talk about love. Okay. Hi. Hey, this is awkward. So Catfish said, quote, we come to talk to these people. And Sanford said, quote, well, you ain't going to talk to these people tonight. And Catfish said, yes, I am. And Sanford said, no, yeah. Sanford then pushed Catfish and pulled out his pistol and pointed it at Catfish. He told Catfish, quote, I'll kill you before you have a speech. Oh, wow. Then Sanford's brother-in-law shot the lightbulb with a shotgun

and everything went dark. Genius move. Sanford kicked the phonograph over and then he told the young Lumby boy to spit in Catfish's face and take the record player. I mean, more effective than a cross. I had a kid spit in your mouth, you loser. Take his record. And we're going to take your record player, Catfish. We just don't have the boy spit in my face again, sir. The kid did not spit in his face, but he did grab the record player and run off. Now in the darkness, there was a brief moment of silence and then rifle shots and shotgun blasts filled the air. The Lumby were shooting their guns into the air to scare the shit out of the clan. And it worked. Fist fights broke out. Most of the Klansmen, though,

freaked and ran. Photographers flashbulbs popped off creating a strobe light effect. That one ran off. Sanford then turned around and two more Klansmen were approaching. They had their pistols holstered. He pointed his gun at them and told them to drop their guns, which they did, then they ran off. Meanwhile, Catfish ran as fast as he could into the trees. I want to see him get into water and just be unbelievably aquatic. Okay, so sorry, so the catfish is in the trees. Catfish runs into the trees, leaving his wife behind in the car. This dude is this guy. I mean, can you get a comic strip for this guy? Many of the Klansmen dropped their guns and ran off, leaving their wives and kids behind who

were all in the cars staying warm. Because it was so dark, some of the Klansmen ran straight into haze. And they hate black. They ran straight into haze pond in the freezing cold. Oh my god. Catfish's wife, Carolyn, now abandoned, turned on the car and floored it, hysterically driving straight into a big ditch and got stuck. Oh god, Jesus. Meanwhile, the sheriff's... How's it going at this rally? Everything's well? It's not great. Are you sure? Meanwhile, the sheriff stood there and didn't say a word. He just stood and watched. That's... We'll take it. Yeah. Within minutes, the state highway patrol arrived. Some armed with submachine guns. With the sheriff, they restored order. After talking to the law, Sanford ordered

all the guns they had confiscated from the Klan and their own guns be put into the sheriff's trunk. Law enforcement ended up with two trunk loads full of guns. By 9 p.m., the field was once again calm and quiet. Some lumpy men felt so sorry for Catfish's wife, they helped her get her car out of the ditch. No one was seriously hurt. Four Klansmen were slightly wounded. Pauline Locklear recalled, quote, it was unreal. I am still puzzled that no one got killed. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. Only one man was arrested. Klansmen James Martin, a tobacco plant worker. He was arrested for public intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon. This is what I don't understand about the Klan. You just... It feels like holding in the NFL. You could call it on every play.

What? You mean being drunk? They all have guns. They're all lawbreak. Usually, they were part of the law. I mean, they were one and the same. That's what I mean. They're coming from somewhere else now. They're coming into a community that is segregated and happy the way it is. I would guess that a lot of those Klansmen were shitfaced and had guns. Yeah. Right, so it's just sort of like... I think the most... It's like tag. You're just like, oh no. They go out and they get drunk and they burn flags and they shoot off their guns because they think people are intimidated, but the one time, someone's not intimidated, you see what they fucking are. Yeah, no, it's great. They're just drunk,

stupid pussies. Yeah. Also getting those robes in the water, more called. The Lumbee then threw a party in the field. They took everything the Klan left behind, including hoods and robes, and burned it all in a bonfire. It became an all night party and the media was there to document it. A photo of two Lumbee tribesmen, Charles Wearax and Simeon Oxidine was taken. They had wrapped themselves in the KKK banner and were smiling from ear to ear. Oxidine was wearing his military hat from his time served in World War II, and the photo ran in papers and magazines all over the country, including Life Magazine. This is satisfying. A week later, Sheriff McLeod announced that he would seek an arrest warrant for James Catfish Cole and others. A grand jury in Robeson County.

A grand dragon jury or a grand jury? A grand jury. In Robeson County, the next day charged Catfish James Martin and others unknown to the state for inciting a riot. Judge Lacey Maynard, who happened to be a Lumbee, oh yes, fined Martin $60 and gave him a 60 days suspended sentence for public drunkenness and carrying a concealed weapon. Catfish, being the man that he was, had fled to his home in South Carolina. There he was arrested, posted bond, and announced he was going to fight extradition. He remained defiant, calling the Lumbee, quote, lawless Mongrels, and he criticized the sheriff for failing to intervene in the confrontation. What a pussy. Such a pussy. Then a week later, trying to wipe out the national humiliating

national humiliation he and the Carolina clan were suffering, Catfish announced plans for another clan rally in Robeson County. He said this time it would be different. Because it's during the day. Catfish said, quote, it will be the greatest clan rally the clan has ever had. I expect there will be more than 5,000 clansmen there and probably more clansmen all over the South are pretty upset. Oh man. But it's the cult leader losing his grasp. I talked to Jesus this morning. He assured me everything's fine. There's going to be a double rally. But public opinion had turned against Catfish. The governor denounced the clan in a press conference. There would be no rally the next week. The rally at Hayes Pond was the last

rally the KKK would ever hold in Robeson County. Wow. Regardless of what Catfish wanted, the Lumbee had scared the clan off for good and now they had a reputation. The intended rally had the opposite effect. An unnamed North Carolina police officer, police chief, told Life magazine, quote, the rally developed a bond of friendship between the whites and Indians here that has never developed before. So he brought people together because again, they were from outside the community coming in and trying to pull a bunch of shit and everyone's like, they're not that fucking. They've always been here. They're not that bad. And that is really what is like that's like for all the terrible stories of race that we've talked about on this. These are yeah, I don't know if

you've ever listened back. But then there's this and this that is so like that truly is it. It's like the more that you make these wedge issues make us believe we are different. And then you're like, no, we all just take the client like whatever it is. It's like, no, we hate you. You the source of division, rich people. Yeah. Catfish was extradited and tried for inciting a riot and legal possession of a firearm and was sentenced to deep crime. He was found guilty and sentenced to two years in jail. In 1959, Catfish's wife published a letter asking for funds to help with her husband's appeal. In it, she described the battle of Hayes Pond as she sought a quote, a group of kinky haired so called Indians invaded on least land,

shot up the segregation meeting with shotguns, rifles and pistols and stole my husband's speaking equipment. Oh, mom came to school to get the jacket back. He did not win his appeal. After he got out, Catfish was shamed out of the area and moved to Virginia. Was he gutted? He tried several different jobs, briefly stand up, mailman, usual detective and in a print shop. He made continued attempts to regain his prominence in the KKK, but never again regained his power. He had lost when he was beaten by the Lumby. After the battle of Hayes Pond, the KKK saw a drop in membership and power. In 1965, President Lyndon Johnson delivered a speech that denounced the KKK and their influence dwindled in coming decades. Catfish moved back to

South Carolina in 1965 and died in 1967 from injury sustained in a car crash. The current estimate too many people in it. Yeah. 94 guys. Yeah, that's going to do it. The current estimate of Klan members is between 5,000 and 10,000 members, and they mostly operate in the Deep South. Today, the Lumby tribe has nearly 55,000 members and is still very active politically in Robinson County. The battle of Hayes Pond is now celebrated every year as an official holiday for the tribe. It's great. It's awesome. That is awesome. Yeah. That's so good. There you go. There's a lot of talk about free speech and if violence works, I think every situation is different. I think that's very true because it's easy to say that there is, yeah, I think

every situation is different. Yeah. And this is an example of when it worked. I don't think it worked. They took his record player. Excuse me, you stole my son's marbles at school. Well, the clan are bumbling idiots. Oh, what? Do you have any evidence? Nope. Okay. Anyway, sign up for my newsletter. Yeah. We sign. Clansmen? No, no. I mean, we'll write fuck you on them. We'll sign clown cars.