The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 257 - The Orange Catholic Riots (Live in NY)

Episode Date: April 14, 2017

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by Felix Biederman and Wil Menaker from Chapo Trap House to examine the New York Orange Catholic riots of the 1800's SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

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You can tell they're drunker because they did a Gary champ. The fuck is happening? Yeah what's the problem? Who are the assholes? And what's going on back there? When do we get to give that one away? What the fuck? What? It's reserved. Somebody reserved it. I did and in retrospect I'm doing the thing. That makes no sense. Where's my head? Foolish. So we have a book coming out May 9th. I'll get into the shopkeeping. It's called the United States of Absurdity. Some people are saying it's the greatest book of all time. New York Times said it's the book that everyone must have. For

history it's top. They said it's the top and that's important. There's an audio version we recorded. We're not sure. But that comes out May 9th. Check it out. Thank you for the one person who sounded like a dying bird clapping over there. James Fosdike did the art. We'll sell posters out of the show for $80-$90 each. And the poster's amazing. If you don't know how taut this guy's bottom is, get the poster. No, get animated gang. The suitcase goes. I look like shit. Or someone on Facebook said Dave doesn't look this bad in real life. Why does he always look this bad in the posters? To which I respond.

I don't know. I don't post her. I don't post her well. I don't translate to poster. Where's this fucking Adonis over here? Thank you. No. Post-erific. They call it. It's a disease. And is there anything else we have to say? No. But for the people who are listening, if you're just seeing how much people are enjoying the show, you can still get tickets to Milwaukee, Detroit, Chicago, Dallas. Actually, Dallas, you can buy a row. Yeah. We're selling rows. You know, Dallas, you can actually just drive your truck in and and go ahead and buy those seats. Yeah. And then there's also Austin and Houston and then DC and Philadelphia.

Go to the other one. It'll be a different story. Go to thedollapodcast.com. They're all there. I think that's it. Do we have anything else to say? No. Wow. Someone got sour. So you're listening to the dollop. There's more. There is more. It's a bi-weekly American history podcast where each week I, writer, actor, comedian, director, father, husband, son. We're getting the light. Dancer. We're getting the light. We're getting the light. Lover of animals. We don't have much time. Dave Anthony. Rage of story from American history to his friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Are you going third person? His friend? I think he

is going third person. He has. I think Dave is. It is a matter of time though. Let's be honest. It is a matter of time. Dave can't. He's busy at 3.30. He can do five. I should become that guy. Why not? So let's bring up our guests. I am huge fans of their podcast. Chapo-trap house which I love. So I invited them on. We had two of them on earlier. Ladies and gentlemen, Felix Biederman and Will Menaker. These are men who now live off of podcasting. Fuck work. July 12th, 1824. Hopefully when we leave here tonight, I've started a religious war amongst the audience members. That's always good news. The first orange. No batteries. No batteries. No batteries. I think we found the product. They didn't even reserve it. It's not them. They are benefactors of the liars for

previous. I think that we all know that the suicidal tendencies knew they would be on a hoodie at some point when they were making that music. Thanks for coming. Thank you for coming. We were saying who was, what happened? Why are we late? No, they just got the table. Oh, you were back there. Oh, you got the table. Yeah, they're with us. They're part of the movement. Did you slip somebody some cash? There we go. That'll take this. All right. Hey, guys, don't milk it. Guys, don't milk it. Don't milk it too hard. It's getting weird. It's getting weird. I'm in the milker. So we can. I am the milker. Tombstone. It's nice when we get a t-shirt. Slogan, I am the milker. Before we started. The first orange order Catholic battle occurred on New York City streets on July 12th, 1824.

Okay. The orange order was formed in Ireland in 1795. Quote. Well, you're right. You what? Irish accents indeed. This would be like if the Finians exploded. Orange is the new Irish. By the way, whenever we do, whenever I say Finians on the podcast, I get emails and posts from people in Ireland telling me I'm saying it wrong, because they say it like onion, Finian. But we say it differently in America because we talk differently. Yeah. So shut the fuck up. All right. Well, no, let's not be across. Green Island, motherfuckers. Get back to the, no, no, no. Let's not. We want to go there.

The orange order was formed in Ireland in 1795. Quote. To maintain and uphold the Protestant faith. Good. Some rods are here. It's our product crowd. How many y'all are fans of sectarian warfare? All right. All right. They are. All right. The order started rising in America because Protestant Irish wanted to distinguish themselves from the rising tide of Catholic Irish immigration as we all do. Yeah, as well they should have. It is great when you get there to be like, well, what we need are factions. The group was named after William III, Prince of Orange, who defeated the Catholic James II at the Battle of Boine in Ireland 1690. Irish Catholics found the parades humiliating and intentionally insulting. They're driving the trophy around the parking lot. I mean,

that's the reason to this day everyone else funds the St. Patrick's Day Parade in New York insulting an offensive. No, that's because there's a guy usually paying on your car. Yeah. I mean, that is what a Protestant religious leader does, though. That's how they ordain things. The blood of our Lord. Now you're right. So the resulting fights in Ireland between orange men and Catholics on Boine Day eventually led to the English banning orange order processions in Great Britain. Okay. Several chapters of the orange order were established by Protestant Irish men in America by the 1820s, and we did not ban the processions on Boine Day, especially in New York, where it was held on the west side.

I think we just had a really weird Protestant. That's the guy you blocked. That was the origin of the Jets, actually, the west side story. That's how it got founded. There was an orange order to fight. I think they meant the football team. The heavily Catholic sharks. So get back to the Proud Boys. Did people know what the Proud Boys are? Fuck. I mean, if you don't know what Proud Boys are, look it up. It is extraordinary. I'll hold off. Okay. On July 2nd, 1824, an orange parade in Greenwich Village ended in a street battle with Irish Catholics from the Black Rock Beacon. Quote, a number of Irish Protestants

assembled at Greenwich with drum and fife and flags and grog and becoming turbulent and disorderly, they excited the ire and indignation of Irish Catholics, who hoisted an emblematic flag, obtained their own drum and fife. Dude, that ain't a fife off. That's it, dude. All that Irish and Irish crime, it's because of that thug drum and fife music that glorifies violence. Yeah, a fight fight. Yeah, dude. They have those fife battles that occur. Fife dog comes out. Yeah. What's up, motherfucker? Yeah, ain't fucking fife around here like that, bitch. Get a fife. It's not how we fight. Hey, he's fucking not how we fight. He's fife and orange. All right,

everyone chill out. So they get their own drum and fife and form an opposition procession. Now it's like a parade off. So they really are living in a musical. You got fife. Yeah. A furious... You know how we stop them? We fight back. A furious fight ensued, which resulted in many broken heads and bloody noses together with many violent and revengeful expressions. Revengeful expressions. They're gonna... Not vengeful. No, revenge. Revengeful. Revengeful. The reboot. Soon the Irish Catholic population would explode during the Irish potato famine in the 1840s and 50s. Thank you. That's when that's when my people came over. I'm also a fan of that event.

Thank you. What's your favorite potato famine? The population explodes during the potato famine. Here, because they all bailed. Okay, right. That makes sense. It actually shrank quite precipitously in Ireland. Yeah, right, yeah. No, dude, that's just like disruption. Like, sometimes you got to starve to create. Yeah. It's the artist's life. It's all good. There was so much art. So why don't you tell me what this potato means? Well, that's all I see. Interesting. The next one's a potato too. Yeah, but this one doesn't have the same divot. It's in the shape of food. It's in the shape of my stomach. Interesting. And they're all potatoes? Okay. Well, not a good showing. I'm eating a rock. Well, that would be interesting.

So I'm leaving. So the Irish Catholic immigrants come in New York and quickly become the laboring class of the city and part of the Tammany Hall political machine. And with them came the anger toward the Orangeman. Okay. It's about time. It was reported in 1845 that some bloody noses at the Orangeman's parade threatened a riot. And in 1864, the Orangeman received quite a thrashing during the annual parade. Okay. Well, the tolerant left is at it again. One Irish Catholic explained it to the New York Herald, quote, Americans forget about these Orangemen had they treated us when they had power, they burned our churches, forced us to say mass in the ditches, and they would do so again if they got the upper hand in this city. So it is just payback

time. It's payback time. Yeah. That's why they all immediately joined the police force. That would never happen again. Orange lives matter. Very true. Well, on July 12, 1870, the Orangeman held another march to celebrate the anniversary of the Battle of Boine. They headed for Elm Park at 92nd Street, near 8th Avenue, at around 10am. The parade kicked off from the New York Times. The paraders wore orange sashes and carried banners reading Boine, Argren, and Derry, which were the big Protestant victories during the war. Also the name of their startups. Did you say this parade was on around 92nd and

8th Avenue? 92nd and 8th. Yeah. That's basically where I grew up. The streets are paved with the blood of the Irish. You're orange. Yeah. You didn't even know. This is like ancestry. So with a marching band, the Orangemen sang their favorite songs, such as The Boine Water about the battle, and Croppies Lie Down. Croppies being a term for Protestants used, referring to the cropped hair worn by Catholic monks. DJ, run that back. Croppies Lie Down. But wait, the Oranges had a problem with the other parade, right? No. The Catholics had a problem with the Orange parade. So they're the boastful party, so they're not stepping it up. Yeah, they're going with Croppies Lie Down.

Croppies Lie Down. The song's chorus. Oh, Croppies, you'd better be quiet. And still, you shan't have your liberty. Do what you will. As long as saltwater is found in the deep, our foot on the neck of the Croppie will keep. World star. They did it. World star. That shit going on. World star. So it's just a fun parade. What was it like for them to get the permit from like the 19th century New York City permit? They're like, uh, did you do any of these parades? Like, let's say like 50, 60 years ago, did anything bad happen? Uh, no. It was a lot of fighting. You think it was a Puerto Rican day parade. Strangely, this didn't go over well with the Irish Catholics. It's so weird.

They didn't like the Croppie stuff? No, it's weird. They also don't like fighting and just generally being aggressive. No, not at all. Drinking at work. Now, as this fun, harmless parade marched, they passed a group of Irish laborers who were working. And these men just happened to be ribbon men. The Ribbon Society was a... The Ribbon Society. That is like a book club. Yeah. We're the hardest fucking gang of immigrants. We're laborers. Uh, we're called the button sewers. All right. They really wore it. They would wear a green ribbon. That's, that was their thing. It's to support our troops. The Ribbon Society was a rural organization in Ireland that formed in response to horrendous conditions of tenant farmers and rural workers. The only way

to get out of this is with ribbons. They did not shy away from violence after the procession. The ribbons were not afraid of violence. What makes you think we're pussies? We're the ribbons. After the procession passed, by a couple of ribbon men got into a tussle with some protestants from the New York Tribune. Quote, in a brief time after this little row, the whole body of Irish Catholic workers, as if by some common consent and premeditated action, quit work. And each, carrying whatever tools he had with him, went en masse toward Elm Park, where the orange men, with their wives and children, were enjoying themselves. Oh boy. He brought wives and children to a construction site. No, I think there'll be enough sandwiches and does that man have a hammer?

They're running, aren't they? I think they hate potato salad. I don't know what their problem is. Well, hopefully they don't want lemonade. We haven't enough. It was 3pm. There were about 3,000 women, men and children enjoying their Protestantism in the park. Look how orange we are. The Irish laborers were estimated between 70 and 200. One laborer was heard to say, quote, there is going to be bloody work in this place. Jesus. I like those odds. I'm putting it down on the Irish Catholic laborers, at 10 to 1. Oh, they just want more dog. But when you're fighting a picnic,

like you're not, you are the 300. We are Sparta. They have no idea. Yeah. It is much easier to fight a picnic. It's way easier. My dad fought so many picnics. The therapy. So they just rolled up and started attacking people in the park. Quote, they first threw stones across fences where inside those instantly retaliated and in finding themselves closed in rushed out and the fight became general. The women and children tried to get as far from the scene of action as possible. Cowards. They don't want to fight. I guess we saw a really believed in God that day.

And they sought refuge in any nook that offered shelter. The fighting quickly became desperate, bloody and deadly. It spread all around the park and over to 8th Avenue. Irish Catholic workers used picks, hammers and other tools as weapons. Some had what was called a flying pike. Oh boy. It was a small pointed iron bar attached to a long cord. Oh, that's a tough thing to defend if you're a baby. Radius and logic are your enemy. I just like the idea that like at all labor sites in like 19th century New York, they just had those lying around. What are these for? Yeah, yeah. It's sort of a hammer on the end of a chain. It'll come in handy. Trust me, trust. I don't necessarily agree with what I think they're

about to do, but it's pretty clever. I mean that tool, that's a baby's only weakness. Yeah. And food. Oh, babies love pikes. But some Irish guy was like, oh, if I just throw this pointed pipe, it stays there. But if I put a rope on it, it comes back covered in baby blood. That guy was like the Elon Musk of the labor game. Oh, we're going to space, sort of. You are. We're going to the space in between the forehead of a small Protestant child. Soon, Irish all over the park were shooting guns at each other. Well, that's how you eliminate the little pike guy. From the tribune, quote, every weapon that could kill or mutilate was brought into use.

Oh, that's not good. And for two hours, the battle out rivaled the original 1795 battle that caused all the bad blood. The police arrived, three of whom were injured trying to separate the groups. They've got pikes on ropes. What's that? They've got pikes on ropes. Oh, fuck, I got hit by a pike on a rope. Imagine the indignity of being hit in the head with a pike on the rope by your cousin. The police are, oh, sorry. Officer Shield was shot in the neck. Officer Shield? Yep. Well, that name's not accurate. Very ironic. Shield got hit? Oh, yeah, real bad. I didn't have a shield on my neck again. What an ironic end for you, officer, head attached to body. Officer Cook was hit with a stone above his eye. I was just making spaghetti.

And another officer was shot in the leg. I don't have a name in this. But the cops succeeded in succeeding in separating the two groups. They drove the orange men back into the park and the Catholics they drove down 8th Avenue. They were able to get all of the Catholic labors onto street cars, but the Protestants weren't done. Quote, several of the cars were attacked and almost completely demolished. Stones and pistol bullets were fired pistol bullets. But I also like how stones and guns are in the same like, they had everything, pebbles, guns. We're fired through the windows into cars packed with men, women and children and fire was deliberately returned from inside. So they're

on a fucking trolley, shooting at each other, probably hiding behind women. And one guy's throwing rocks like, what, you guys have guns? My arm. There's nothing cooler than doing a drive-by on a rail system. The trolley car was being escorted by the police to the old Burger King. So get out of here. We're a trolley car. Oh, well, keep going three miles an hour. A large stone came whizzing through a window struck a woman who had a child in her arms on the side of her head and flicked a terrible gash on her face and she dropped the child. Come on, be a better mother. Wait, but before, wait, hold on, before I have a motion reacting to this, was the child Protestant or Catholic? It's a fair question. This is actually, this is actually

when mommy blogs were invented in America. What do you do after your child gets hurt in a sectarian strife? Bjorns. This is when Bjorns happened. Right about it. Let the people know. You have feelings. Blog it. 40 people were injured at the streetcar battle and a few were killed. James Brady, 15 year olds, received three shots in the head, tearing the top of his head completely off. I'm sorry? Wow. Wait, you got shot three times in the head. So the top of his head is gone? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's the doctor? Oh, we're gonna have, it's a page one rewrite. We're gonna have to get the whole head off. What a fucking pussy. Somebody shoots me in the head. It's gonna take about an entire clip for that to come off. Just make sure kids don't poke his brain because

his legs will start moving. Turn it into a cool look. I bet you in two years every kid has their brain exposed. You're not kids are? It's not funny, man. This kid got really hurt. We cannot have that rule on this podcast. Marble polisher James Brady, who was 23, was killed by a shot which severed his aorta and his head was also crushed as like the secondary wound. But I mean to be fair, him dying at 23 that way, that was at that time dying of natural causes at middle age. Yeah, he was married with four kids. Hold you. He's basically a grandfather. An unnamed man was shot in the heart. I don't have a name. Wait a second. I'm still broke up thinking about all the marble that went unpolished.

Well, and that had his brain on it. They were like, who will get, oh boy, we're screwed twice. William Hame was attacked by several men in Central Park shot and fatally stabbed between eight and 12 orange men were killed. Others were injured. Patrick Kane's skull was fractured. William Kane was shot in the leg and stabbed twice in the back. James Reynolds, 40 years old, was shot through the groin and sent home. That's how my people do it. That's how the Reynolds do it. Oh, let me take a look there. Oh, no, that's gone. There's nothing we can do about that. I'll walk it off. I'll walk it off. He wasn't sent back to work. No, they just were like, I don't know, your dick's gone. Go home. Well, we can't give you a ride. You'll get dick blood in

the transportation. I mean, it may have missed it. I mean, the curse that the Irish was the gift in that event. How dare this Jew? Look, look, my people, we can at least spare part of the dick when we're born. But those were the official numbers. There were more according to the Tribune quote. It is currently reported among the Irish in the shanties that there are... They're doing shanty. This is a shanty town, Gazette. Top of the line here. Well, I'm arriving in the shanty and we're getting a bunch of results here. And lunatic in the shanty. What do you think? Do I need to hire a better fucking ale? There it is. The shanty is a shithole. Back to you guys. They reported that there are dozens of dead in the park, some hidden under bushes by their friends.

Well, that's cool. Patty's gone. Let's put them under a bush. That's why he wouldn't want it. Shit, we bury him. No, no, that'll take hours. Put him under a leaf. And others who are mortally wounded just crawled there to die. Like a cat. Wait, why like a cat? Is that... Cats go away to die. They go off to be alone. But it's also different. They're not mortally wounded. Like, I don't want them to see the stab wound. This is all in Central Park? No, this is in Elm Park. Oh, Elm Park. There isn't even an Elm Park anymore because apparently they just paved the mass grave over. Well, the bushes took a real time. Something about Mero didn't make them grow.

It was actually the apartment building that I grew up in was actually built on Elm Park. Really? Yeah, I was haunted by Irish poltergeists my entire year. You know, I appreciate them crawling to die, you know, not wanting their family to see them bleed out in the streets. You know, that's back when men used to have honor. Men were men. Right? It's true. Now you have MD. Calling ambulance. Oh, help me, help me. Just fucking crawling a gun. Bleed out and dying a bush like a human man. No full list of either the killed or wounded can be made at this time. At a boarding house, a mock wake was held with an orange man effigy with simulated grief over the orange, which was

interrupted occasionally by real sorrow as news of more Catholic wounded and dying neighbors was brought to the door. What is the vibe there? So they're celebrating the death of Protestants and have a mock wake. And then when someone comes in and says a Catholic dies to get sad. Oh, can you imagine the tragedy of losing someone lighted on fire again? They did. They did fucking political cartoon funerals. Yeah. Yeah. Only three men were arrested for the orange. Right. For sure. Including Jacob Peters, but he turned out to be German. So he was released. I was just trying to take photography. I was just trying to take some pictures.

I had no idea. I knew none is a gentleman. I knew none is a gentleman. That is the perfect crime. Being German and an Irish writer, Irish people. Try today. Any Germans in the audience kill any other group of people. No one will suspect you. At the 31st precinct station house, a huge crowd of Catholics gathered early in the morning. Their relatives and friends bodies were in the basement of the station house. Threats of vengeance. They've been collected from the bush outside. Threats of vengeance were liberally coming from the crowd. Here's some quotes from the Catholics. This is always good. They provoked our folks to do

it. It's the last orange men's procession there will ever be in this city. We will tear them from limb if they ever show themselves again. If they had behaved themselves and minded their own business, this never would have happened. They're coming around. Pro-orange men articles explain the situation. The inquiry into the circumstances of the Elm Park riots establishes beyond doubt that which we already know that there was no provocation or whatever on the part of the orange men. It is no excuse for the assault that the orange men waved offensive banners and used offensive language. It may have been in bad taste, but certainly their display was not illegal. The people who attempted to forbid the

expression of political opinion or religious belief are unfit to enjoy the liberty of which they were invited. So you can walk around saying, hey, dipfucks, we want to kill your monks, but you can't do it. Don't do anything. No, that's freedom. It's called freedom, baby. Last time I checked. If you don't like someone shitting all over your religious beliefs, then don't come to America, motherfucker. Thank you. Hashtag this is us. Less than a month later, rumors that the orange men would assemble for another parade began. What? Permit approved. There's just a big stamp approved. Parade, parade offensives. Parades can be fucking brutal, bro. I mean, they are if you watch them, but not if you were like,

oh no, we've got a hell of a parade to shove down their fucking throats this year. Do they do anything except have parades? This is a cultural celebration of our achievements, which are previous parades that we've done. We'll be celebrating previous floats on this year's main float. Dude, you should have seen 1862. That float was amazing. Actually, every parade after that kind of sucked, but we're hoping we get the magic back. We're reinventing ourselves. We're the Travolta parades. Also, murder all Catholics while we're here at the parade. It's like they're grabbing a giant balloon of the pope. It's like the Thanksgiving. Oh, that would be so great. Actually, it's better than the pope

mobile if the pope's in a balloon, but like floating like a floating way on board folks. Pope floats. Am I right? Less than a month later, rumors that the orange mode assemble out of the parade began. The ribbon men took the rumor seriously and as a direct challenge. At meetings, the ancient order of the Hiberians, which is a hibernians, gives a shit. Hibernie bros. Hibernians, a Catholic Irish group created to guard against anti-Catholic forces. They resolved to prevent the parade by any means necessary. Laborers from all over the city were ready to stop working and start fighting. On the day of the alleged parade, the police had platoons ready all over the city.

For a parade. Watch out, boys. Keep your eyes out if a parade breaks out. There's a parade. We've got rumors of an inoffensive parade. We've got a parade breaking out. We have reports of a marching band. We have an orange parade. We've got two guys down. The parade's happening again. If you show your Irish grandfather the Nick Cannon film drum line, he will get a fucking PTSD flashback and just fucking blow the shit out of that TV. It's like taking a veteran to see fireworks. So Irish Catholic laborers quit work and headed over to 8th Avenue

and started to hang out in the saloons. The work is the shocking thing. The fact that there's an intermediate work period. But a saloon is like their barracks. They said they would attack any orange procession that came. All day, Irishmen entered gun stores and bought revolvers and ammunition. All day? All day. And yet there was no procession. The Catholics believed their show of force had discouraged the orange men. Well, I feel like they're wrong. In truth, they were never planning one. It was all a rumor. They just had Lockheed Barton money. They were like, yeah, sell the guns.

The order of the hibernians told them to disperse, which they did. What happened? What happened? Hibern... Okay, nothing. Look, look, you can't pronounce these names right or wrong. They're all from Lord of the Rings. They're not real. It's up to the reader. It's, you know, Tolkien. Did I say it the first time and then now they're telling me to say it the wrong way? What? Hibernians. All right. And what's your problem guy blocked on Twitter? He's happy to get shout at. He's like, my new name. So the order of the hibernians told all of the Catholics to disperse, which they did,

but not before getting into fistfights with each other. Smart. Well, you look, you've roared yourself up to a level. You need to purge. I think at some point we should just comment on the just generally negative perception of Irish Catholic people that this live show and episode is promulgating almost as if they had some sort of predisposition to violence and drunkenness. These are these are my people. Well, I can say that because I'm Irish in the same vague way that every white guy in America... Oh, fuck you, motherfucker. Oh my God. What kind of Irish?

Jew You Referee! Uh... I can immediately see why my, uh... My ancestors got to New York in 1900 and immediately left. Well, they went to Chicago, which is the second-most Irish city in America. No one is saying that my family was smart at any time. But there was a Polish buffer zone in Chicago. I've eaten there.

In 1912. In 1912, there was a Jewish riot in New York over the price of meat. And it was Jewish, it was Yiddish women, and they broke into all the butcher shops and took the meat out and stepped on it in the road. That, and that became someone's fetish. That became the Jewish mating ritual. That's like whenever we want to have kids,

it's just the women's stomp on meat. Any Jewish man that gets his horny for some reason, it's genetics, like you don't have to explain it. No, you don't. It's regular. Every regular Jewish person has it. So, a year went by with no violence, but on July 12th, 1871, as it approached,

the Orange men were determined to march again. The New York Sun, July 3rd, quote, a riot is threatened. This is a free country. The Orange men have the same right to parade the streets as the Hiberian societies or the German Sangerbund, which is a German musical society. That paper is biased, the sun is orange.

The authority should be prepared for the worst. Finnian leaders told members to ignore the parade, believing a riot would harm their cause. Am I wrong to always have a soft spot for the Finnians? Gotta love the Finnians. They're ambitious. Yeah, they're gonna go invade Canada. They're fucking wonderful.

Ambitious. The Hiberian lodges were a different story. They said a special meeting would be held to enroll members in a volunteer militia and to participate in a target excursion. Volunteer militia and target excursion? Yeah, you know. That's like stuff you see in a coffee shop, bullets on board, and you're like, no, no way.

No, no, I'm not taking a number for whatever the fuck that is. That's a pyramid scheme. I'll end up drinking blood. So I'm starting a breakaway nation with my friends. See you later. See you. Bye, bye. Finnian, we think that if we get to the mountain,

we'll be immortal, so keep us on this weekend. All we need to do is eat lava, and then we meet God. So I'm glad you went to that coffee shop. Who knows? You might make some friends. You might become God. Yeah. The airtimes wrote that foreigners should not bring their fights to America.

The paper advised the orange men to give out the procession, but the paper also said the position taken by Catholics was outrageous. Quote. Well, that was terrifying. Satan's here. That was terrifying. Okay, we're going to go ahead and everyone just shuffle out quietly. We need to talk with the devil for a little bit.

I got to get out of here before that person sheds their skin. No, no, he's flying. He's flying in the lights. He's winged. He's winged. At a convention of Irish societies, this is from the times, at a convention of Irish societies, a delegate proposed the mayor should be asked to ban the procession, and that if he did not, the Irish Catholics would settle the dispute.

At once forever, cutting down every orange man in the parade and to be found in the city. Another Irish crowd gave expression to threats of annihilating the orange men. Jesus. Look, man, if someone comes at you with a parade, you fucking come back harder. You know what I mean? If someone comes at me with a parade, guess what? It's genocide time, bitch. Use the nuke.

Drop the nuke. In a parade, you bring a pike on a chain. People don't know this, but there were parades in Hiroshima and Nagasaki the day before. Offensive ones. Anti-nuclear ones, if I remember. I'm sorry, but that's asking for it. Yeah, it really is. Poke and the bear.

The Catholics were saying New York belonged to Catholics, and the sooner the public was made to understand that, the better. The Times quoted a hibernian leader, brothers, will you allow this monster to gain a foothold here and be a source of disunion among Irishmen for all time? Kill the thing forever. Quash these fellows now and for all time. Jesus. Give me great parade. If parades had this venom, I'd fucking be there.

I'd look at the old guy with the radio and be like, this dude gets it. I feel bad for all the guys there who are like, I just wanted to practice the drums. Yeah, oh yeah, the dance troupe is like, are we doing batons? Is there going to be a genocide? What is happening? Sorry? The murder. Okay, then I think we'll hang back.

We don't need gymnastics. I don't think we need it. I think we do need gymnastics. Sorry? I think we do need gymnastics. Some of the girls are worried that they'll get killed by them. Well, guess what? You're in a fucking parade.

I understand that, but when you guys pitched an orange parade to us, we were very excited because the girls do some great stuff and we do a lot of beam stuff on the float. Okay. But when we heard about the possible war, to us we go, you know, no. Because they're little and they're learning and no, you know. For us, we go, no, you know. We just go, we look at that and we go, okay, that's your thing. Great.

For you guys, for sure. We train all year. We can do this anytime. But this parade in particular, I think we're just going to pound. We'll see you out there. You'll be in the fucking parade. You know, like we said, a couple of the girls have already lost their Lea Tards and again, there's the war.

And we just, to us, we go, no. Fire bomb your house. Yeah. Yeah. Fire bomb your house. Fire bomb your house. Right. You're going to be in the fucking parade.

Right. Right. It's a parade. Thanks. It's not something you give up on. Of course. Nobody gives up on a parade. Attitude's fine.

It's probably going to be a no from us. But no, it's a no from us. I hear Shaxxon got weird. Well, you know, I'm a dance mom. Shouldn't even have one. Wait, so like, classically, like the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, were people clamoring to sponsor this next parade slash religious riot? I don't think there were, there were huge sponsors coming out to sponsor.

Cog Macy's pulled out. They're going with O'Reilly. Too soon and wrong. I get it. I get it. The hibernian volunteers had reached a membership of 15,000 men. Ready to fight the parade. I mean, we are talking parade fights.

Sorry about the knife. Parade fights. Thousands more were traveling from New Jersey and Philadelphia. Congratulations. Somebody's ready to fight a parade. Phyllis got their hand on batteries like, yo, we ain't done saying no to parades. Fucking throw up battery right through a parade. We as, as a country have to keep knowledge of Carnival in Brazil from Philadelphia.

Or they will, it will be a fucking international incident. If there's anything I've learned so far, it's that we could end parades so easily. We just let it slack. We can't end parades. Oh, for sure. You know what? If the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, you're like running up on the stage and stabbing David Lee Roth. People will be like, we're done.

We are out. We're done. No, no. There would be too many people who are like, you can't stop my fucking parade. My kids will see McGrath the crime dog. If you make it so that, you know, you ban parades, well, only criminals are going to have parades. And then good people won't be able to fucking defend themselves with our parades. We're building a wall float.

A Broadway gunsmith reported he, quote, sold more revolvers within the past few days than the previous six months. Is he a singing gunman guy? You want a revolver? You need lots of ammo. Boys, there's a parade coming. Get your guns. Load them up. Lock them down.

It's time the parade is coming to town. We're going to do it now. Was your family Irish Catholic or Protestant? Neither. Neither. Yeah, it was sort of non-affiliated, but I'm just more, I'm just disappointed that we couldn't buy guns anywhere at any corner store. Right? It's hard now.

It's hard now to get a gun. You can get a pike on a stick, though, or a rope or whatever. A pike on a stick is not as effective. What's the waiting period for a pike on a stick? A pike on a stick is actually a pike. Whoa. I don't think I want one. The Protestants were not going to back down.

One wrote, quote, It is a shame and a disgrace that people are threatened by a crew of vagabonds. That's the Catholics. You're going to take that shit? Yeah. Who were forced out of Ireland because they were not fit to live with civilized people. Sure. Where do you get the murderers, wife beaters, thieves, and other vile creatures, but from those whose purpose is to make a disturbance during parades?

I mean, is there a more specific statement? Thank you. Did he just wake up? The Irish. I fell asleep after a minute, too. On Sunday, July 11th, police superintendent Kelso issued an order for bidding the parade. For bidding the parade? For bidding the parade.

For bidding. Okay, it sounded like they were separate. We can all bid a price on it. Parade's up for sale. It's an auction. The evening post was not pleased. Headline, New York disgraced, quote, The Tammany Ring, which has the city in its clutches, reckless, unscrupulous, shameless,

without regard for the welfare of the city, and with a cynical contempt for law and order, have taken the part of the mob. So they want the parade to happen. Sure. I mean, yeah, look, what is the worst thing that could happen here? This is like Aaron Sorkin's The Parade. You feckless thug. We're not going to be able to have it.

If we let vagabonds stop a parade, then what does America stand for? Listen, if this parade doesn't go down, we admit defeat and lack of freedom. This would be the exact conversation that people would be having today if this was going on. What are we if we can't march in a parade without killing people? I don't even like parades, but I like the freedom that is able to be expressed inside a parade and afloat. Period. And the sands, man.

Fuck it. Breitbart is proud to announce our new ethnic parade violence section. I believe that parades take away my right to be happy at home. Sorry. What? You're taking away my parade, then what, my guns? Take away freedom. You take away freedom, motherfuckers.

You know, it takes, you have to wait longer to get a parade than a gun. Well, holy shit, what kills more people? If we learn anything tonight. Parades. Parades don't kill people. People who hate parades kill people. Then at 11 p.m. the night before the parade, if you're listening, Gareth is getting applause. Well, I pulled it out like a sword from my spine.

You should try that. I don't want to try that. Also, it's a great move. Also, my other one's open, so if I did that, I would just spill over me. Here, you try it. Congratulations, we found a skill you have. Thank you. Besides not knowing history.

So the governor reverses the decision. The parade would be allowed. And he ordered six regiments of the state militia to report to protect the parade. Is this the vibe a parade wants? If you are reversing a decision and saying a parade can be held and then you have to invite out the fucking army. It's like Jeff Foxworthy. You're like, if you have to invite the army after your parade, it is not worth having. If your parade is a divisive use of your culture, it's not time for having a parade.

Are you attacking women and children with improvised maces, then you just might be an Irish laborer in New York City. Did your buddies crawl to death to die inside a bush and you're trying to recreate it? Just might not be tougher pride. Governor Hoffman wrote quote, banning the parade would lead to permanent bitterness and disturbance of the peace of the state, perhaps for years to come. No, I mean, he's right. The parades are like a big therapeutic exercise for everyone. If you don't allow a parade, then it festers, but if you allow a parade, then everyone just kills each other. Yeah, no. Either way, it works. The governor also wanted to run for president and to do that, he had to oppose Tammany Hall.

The mayor, governor and news reporters gathered at police headquarters at 6.30 a.m. Around that time, an effigy of an orange man was hung from a telegraph pole in front of a liquor store on Spring Street. Now, that was a guy who was just going in to get boozed and he's like, oh, where am I going to put this effigy? And he just threw it up. That's what you had instead of a, like, fat head cutout back then. Yeah, it is. It is casual effigies. You're like, oh, we got it. It's burning a hole in my pocket. The purge?

I don't know. Someone screamed about the purge. First there was the purge. Then there's the orange. The report started coming into police headquarters 8 a.m. Irish Catholic laborers quit work and were headed downtown in a riotous manner. It's not a good start. It's early in the morning. It's 8 a.m. I hate that attitude. You can turn a day around at any time. It's true. 250 police were sent to intercept them at Houston Street.

9 45 a.m. Crowds of spectators looking to see the fun were reported to be packing the streets. So the parade is more popular than ever. Well, people are like, this shit's going to get crazy. That is again, that's what I'd go see a parade over a parade. I'd go see a crazy, I would go, I would go with someone was like, it's going to be a war. I'd be like, well, I'll watch that parade. That'd be more fun than someone just being like, yeah, there's an old guy waving from a convertible. Some of my fondest memories were, you know, being on the shoulders of my dad to watch, you know,

gangs of ethnic gangs kill each other in the streets. I'll never forget it. This has a through line today. I mean, the airfield that we just hit in Syria with those Tomahawks, they did find parade equipment there. Well, there was parade building material. Okay, Gareth, there is a 1% chance. No, no, no. 1% chance.

I'm not going to get into this debate with you, but I will. We don't know if they were having a parade. We know that they had the capabilities of putting a parade together. But whether they put a parade on their own people or not, I don't think it's time for us to judge that. I really don't. Do you want the smoking gun to be a parade? Are you going to wait until they're actually having a parade? Do you want them to stop them?

Or do you want to get them while they're building the floats? Do you want the smoking gun to come in the form of a Garfield shaped cloud? If gas formed in Garfields. I mean, North Korea already has a funky winker bean float. How many more years until they get peanuts, Garfields? Pokemon? How long until Charlie Brown is in charge of North Korea? Yesterday.

In a landslide. That's why the nukes keep falling into the sea. And she took it away. I was trying to nuke it. Oh my God. I think someone just shouted, that is terrific. That is terrific. At 10 20 a.m.

Catholic rioters near the 32nd precinct attacked a party of Italians and Swiss workers. Why? Wild guards. Hey, do you hear about the parade? Why, why, why, why, why? Hey, I'm making a meatball. Why, why, why, why? There's no way to put it back together.

It's a crumble. After this brutal attack, the Swiss realized that they had to have furniture that they could build to insulate themselves. Yeah. And neutrality. I know that Swiss and Swedish people are different. They're not. They're actually the same. That is an Ikea joke.

Same shit. They have furniture just like us. At 10 40 a large group of Ribbon men gathered in front of an armory on 21st Avenue and demanded all the guns. The janitor refused to let them in. Listen to what you just said. Listen to what? Ribbon men. Ribbon men.

Yeah. Trying to get their way and the janitor was like, no. He was like, even I don't know which key this is on this giant fucking ring. You guys were closed Saturdays. No. We are the lollipop and salar outfit killed. You will fucking let us in. No.

Quote, they were a rough looking crowd, brawny red shirted and red whiskered fellows, their eyes blazing with alcoholic fire. Wow. That is, that's how you put bloodshot. Yeah. They were off that lounge. The police superintendent said a hundred men there who recovered 138 guns and six boxes of ammunition. A crowd of 200 longshoremen, a crowd of 200 longshoremen marched up Crosby Street carrying muskets led by a man carrying a sword. Who is in charge of order?

Oh my God. The sword guy goes at the end, not that muskets are fast. The very first wee boo. The sword. That's my favorite part. 1135 and. Ah, I've got the sword. So I should probably go first.

1130. At a counter sword. I'll walk backwards. On my hands. I'll walk. Yes. At 1135 a.m. a man pulled a knife on some Irish Catholics on Prince Street. He was attacked by the crowd and beaten and kicked to death.

That was a bad idea. It's just, you know. Beating to death is always hard. Once this happening at noon the grandmaster of the parade announced they would be holding the parade that day starting at 2 p.m. Once we audition all the dancers we will lock it down. How we be able to celebrate the victory over the Catholics if we can't have our parade. They may take our lives. You know the hacky rest.

I live in a little like sort of normalish suburban working class area and the town next door is super rich. Like Vince Vaughn lives there and that sort of Adam Corolla that type. And my wife's like they're having a parade and I was like what are you talking about. They're having a fourth of July parade so she takes my son down and they separate the parade into Democrats and Republicans. And there's like the Democrats is like nine people behind a Prius or some shit. And then the Republicans is just hundreds of people and at the end there's a convertible. And they have a cardboard cutout sitting up on the back of Ronald Reagan. But when I hear those two parades on paper which one would you rather go to?

I'd be like well the one with fireworks. I know they ain't got a permit. At 1240 after the police came back to headquarters after putting down a small riot it was revealed policeman Thomas O'Grady had declared that he would not shoot on his fellow Irishmen because he could not die that day. In front of everyone he was stripped of his buttons and shielded by the captain and the whole force hissed and jeered the coward. Wait there was a time when he was like I'm gonna need your badge, your gun, and all your shirts bought. The good news is that he was stripped of his buttons but he was immediately given a ribbon. Also one of your socks and your shoe laces.

We've also installed a horn so whenever your pants fall down there's a comedic noise effect. A large crowd of spectators was said to be excited to a fever pitch as it got close to 2pm. Quote, near two o'clock in the avenue the streets were literally packed with as ruffian looking a crowd as was ever seen outside a state prison. Several scrimmages occurred among the people and police who seemed to relish the business, sailed in and used their clubs in what can only be considered a most reckless and inhuman manner. They struck down young men and old without the slightest regard as to whether they were rioters or not. That's not good. That's fine.

That's when you discriminate a little bit. He's old, he's walking. President Obama's America, just politically correct police, just assaulting everyone. Everyone's going to be equal. They needed body cams. Irish Catholic men came from all over the city. All saloon shops and beer houses were closed. There were 1,500 policemen, 3,500 state militia troops surrounding the parade route to protect the 700 orange men. The orange men appeared at the beginning and lined up.

They were greeted with a storm of hisses and yells. The signal was given to start the parade. The crowds on the sidewalks began to press forward. Unfortunately, the signal given to start the parade was a starting gun. Which was responded by a volley of grape shot from the state militia. So the crowd starts coming off the sidewalks and the police start beating them back with their clubs. Several mounted police. You want a pepsi?

So you solve this stuff, right? Get the lipstick on them. Maybe she gave me a pepsi. Let's start the conversation. That's all we're asking for. Several mounted police then rode their horses onto the sidewalks cutting down every man they could reach, whether he was rioting or not. That's not fair. Bricks cobblestones and rocks began to shower down from the houses on both sides of the street onto the police.

Then a shot was fired. It was supposed to hit the grand marshal, but instead it struck a policeman. Someone yelled, shut your windows. Then the shooting began. That is a terrible order. Jesus. From what I understand about bullets is they go through windows. Dave, I've done a lot of research on this. I don't think they do. They won't. They go through windows and on the rooftops men throwing bricks down on the troops, then the company shot straight into the mass on the sidewalks.

Instead of shooting up the windows, they just shot into the crowd. The crowd broke through shop windows to get away. A panic seized upon the crowd and a rush was made for the side streets into wagons, trucks, down into cellars through alleyways they dashed. Mell-mell through the streets they ran, women, men, and children huddled together in groups to be pushed and tumbled into the gutter or trampled on by the terror-stricken hundreds who rushed along and pulled others along and down to get away from the scene of carnage. The mounted police were still running through roughshod into the crowd, swinging away. Those that escaped the onslaught of the troops were then racing for their lives again from the horses. So it's a great parade so far. So far at the beginning of the parade. Was there anyone in like whatever the equivalence of a lawn chair is at the time like?

This is a really weird twist. I don't know what's your message. I can't believe I got here at 5 a.m. for this. I waited for all day. It's interesting, but not what I like in a parade. Man. The shooting was completely indiscriminate and at no one in particular. It lasted for several minutes. When the shooting stopped, the sidewalks were literally strewn with dead, wounded, and dying. By the way, that's what a regular parade looks like. Just like, eh, everyone looks dead.

Okay, too soon. Five men were laid together in a dead heap. In fact, the scene was a sickening one. Sidewalks made slippery with brains. I keep slipping in hand! But that's why you employ brain sweepers for just this sort of situation. Well, you know, but again, illegal immigrants are trying to take all those brain sweeping jobs. And blood was everywhere on doorsteps, curbs, and trickling down the gutters. The street literally ran with blood. You had to pick your way among the corpses.

A doorstep was covered two inches deep and clotted with clotted gore, pieces of brain, and half the digested contents of a human stomach and intestines. Oh, my fucking god. What? Slutting in this hard puddle was an old felt hat such as laborers wear. That guy lost his hat. So some guy was like, I think he evaporated. That was a... I think a witch did this.

This man turned into liquids. And clearly his hat's still okay. That was an art project, actually. Right, so it's just fucking... It's not a great day. It's a massacre. Well, when you slip on brains, things aren't good. Then the marching band struck up a lively tune.

Shut up! Shut the... Then the band... Then the marching band struck up a lively tune and the orange men marched away. That's like the band on the Titanic. Oh, my fucking god. Here we go! So they're...

All right. Fuck the crappies. Hey, just like we rehearsed from the top. Two, three, four, let's go. Step over the brains. That's like a fucking Pearl Harbor happen. And they're like, all right, we're still doing the charity boat race. The fucking ocean is just red with blood.

And people are crying. Everything's on fire. The wackiest boat today wins. I just love the guy. He looked at the band. I was like, okay, add a one. Add a two. Add a one, two, three.

We're not comfortable playing. Come on, guys, from the top. Come on, guys, we got it. People need something up right now. Use it. Use it. Use it, guys. Use it.

Come on. Turn it into happy. Use it. That's when they invented emo. This is the invention of emo. The rest of the route on the parade was crowded, but very silent. I wonder why. Just this.

Panama. Panama. This was also the first, like, no labels, bipartisan solution. If you just murder everyone, the parade won't be sectarian anymore. We'll get there. So, at Fifth Avenue, at the Fifth Avenue hotel, 3,000 well-dressed rich people were assembled who cheered the troops, the policemen, and the orange men. Who are they?

They're the Protestants. There. No, I'm sorry, but it's true. Sorry. The police continued to arrest upset Catholic laborers along the way. Around 3 p.m., the parade ended and quietly disbanded in the bowery. The orange men were moving their sashes and badges. Well, that was a good day's work.

I used to go home proud today. I feel good. I accomplished a lot. I feel good about our people. To a job well done. We paraded the shit out of it. The start was a little bit wobbly. Well, they're always going to be when you're rolling on brain.

Rolling on brain is the name of me and next album. Well, I've written a book about it. So, not to get weird, but I think I have legislative rights. The troops remained. Roll on the brain. The troops remained until sundown and then returned to their armories. At Bellevue Hospital, there were long rows of cots with mangled and bleeding bodies, some dying. The bloodshed, a large number of hats belonging to the dead were collected on a street corner

and a large crowd gazed at them as if fascinated. What is it about hats? Why are hats? It's like it didn't hit home until they saw the pile of hats. They were literally like, oh my God, these hats should be on heads. That was the 1800s equivalent of like, hey man, that's somebody's fucking daughter. Hey man, that person had a fucking hat. That's a fucking hat, dude.

Two policemen, three militiamen and 62 civilians were killed. Holy shit. It's weird. You didn't learn about this in history class. It's so fucking weird. 62 people killed on your city streets by your own government? You had nothing? We didn't read about this, did we?

This time. Over 150 people were wounded, including 22 militia and 28 policemen. New York Herald headline the next day. Excelsior, the law triumph. Oh my fucking God. Oh, what? Oh my fucking God. What is the headline?

Excelsior, law tramps, order reigns. Why? Order reigns. So it's Fox News has always been a C. The Times called the result, quote, this is the New York Times, everyone's favorite paper, a noble vindication of the might of the popular will and of the justice which lives in the unperverted instincts of a free people. That's the headline? Free to have your brains on a sidewalk.

19th century Thomas Friedman was like, my carriage driver was actually quite uplifted by all the brains he saw on the street the other day. I wonder what David Brooks would have written. What did New York post? New York post. At the side of the master. Brain delay. New rule, if you're going to have a parade in which brains fall out, you have to have something in those brains. That was, Bill Maher was, real time was still on back then.

That was, but that was a little too real. Like that's exactly what he was saying. He would say that, yeah. It's too good. That's my superpower. I know what Bill Maher would say at any point. That's the worst superpower that has ever been. It's hard to monetize.

The worst thing about it is I sold my soul for it. Congratulations. I just got to live it out. At the side of the massacre, the people had a different view of what had happened. A woman told the reporter there was no gunfire from the windows, just the throwing of a brick at a policeman. There was no shot before the soldiers fired. There was another report that the soldiers fired into the crowd after one was hit on the head with a kitchen utensil. For sure.

But forks are fucked up. Yeah. The following day on July 13th, 20,000 mourners paid their respects to the dead outside the morgue at Bellevue Hospital and funeral possessions made their way through the streets while Governor Hoffman was hanged in effigy by Irish Catholics in Brooklyn. Papers began to question the actions of city leaders and the governor and point the finger at Tammany Hall. Sure. Effigies were a big player in this time. Nobody wants to play the blame game here.

My grandparents had an effigy store, and that's how I made my family money. That's right. I remember that. You were the first one to fill them with candy. That's why I drive a Toyota Corolla. Okay. You almost said a Toyota Corolla. I drive a Toyota as I call it around my house.

I like a good Toyota. New York Times, July 16th. What law-abiding people of this city need is to put down the political demagogues who have elevated themselves to power by catering to the ignorant and criminal element of our population and by occurring to their lawlessness and intolerance and who care nothing for the good name, welfare, and prosperity of the city or well-being of its citizens so long as they can retain their places and continue to enrich themselves by plundering the city's treasury. Sure. Circumstances show that Tammany Hall is ready to throw overboard their own governor and prospective presidential candidate rather than receive opposition from the lowest class of our Irish population. Alrighty.

I wish that had relevance to today. It does not. What relevance do you think it would have? I don't know. I can't think of any. I can't think of any corrupt government. Not here. Romania.

The sun quote, these frightful scenes will not stop until that corrupt party in Tammany Hall, which depends on the votes of the ignorant and vicious, loses its tyrannical control of our public life. So see what they did? Nope. They killed a bunch of Catholics and then they used the massacre to break up the Catholic powerhouse. Right. So they used conflicts to divide. Well, and even worse, they just slaughtered people and then used that to... That's divide.

Okay. That's it. It's divide. Well, I mean, like, you know, silver lining, they don't do that anymore, so that's good. And I think that is important. We've moved on. We've moved on. We're good now.

It won't be reshaped. The Tribune started digging into the city budget and linking corruption to Tammany Hall. In 1871, the head of Tammany Hall, William Boss Tweed was living in a mansion on Fifth Avenue, was the director of the Erie Railroad, the Brooklyn Bridge Company, the Third Avenue Rail Company, and the Harlem Gaslight Company. He established the 10th National Bank to provide a secure place to store embezzled fortunes. If you ain't getting money, you ain't doing nothing. Yeah. But now his base, the Irish Catholic, blamed Boss Tweed for allowing the parade to go forward. His grip on the city began to slip. Insight is we're passing information to the media.

This led to an economic panic as lenders and bondholders began doubting New York's ability to prepay debts. Tammany Hall leaders tried to buy the New York Times, but the publisher managed to get someone else to buy the shares instead. New York's wealthy elites formed a committee that cut off the city's funding. This caused angry, unpaid government workers to march on City Hall. Boss Tweed was arrested after the comptroller resigned. A new accountant went over the books and the state filed a civil suit against Tweed to recover stolen funds. The New York Times, the Irish rule is over. The ignorant, unthinking, bigoted hordes.

This is just the liberal New York Times. The Irish rule is over. The ignorant, unthinking, bigoted hordes, which is slightly ironic, which Tammany Hall brought up to its support year after year are hopelessly scattered. Americans, truly so-called, are now determined to have some share in the government of this city. It will no longer leave it to be tyrannized over by our esteemed friends from the Emerald Isle. This is going to be an American city once more, not simply a larger kind of Dublin. The iron rod of our, quote, oppressed friend is broken. Fuck yeah, bitch.

Now let's make America great again. I'm shipping off to Boston. The Orange men continue to hold their 12th, July 12th, profession. That's a great ending. They continue. It's so funny. I grew up, my family was Irish Catholic, but then they had a problem with a priest in Idaho when they were minors. And then they stopped being Catholic overnight and moved. But I always still, like the Catholic thing is still a thing.

So when I'm going over that story, I'm literally rooting for the Catholics because it's just like fucking ingrained in you. But it's fucking bananas because when you're raised in this country, you hear about that. That happens in Ireland, right? That's where the Protestant Catholics are. But the fact that that many people were killed here and were not taught dick about it is crazy. I mean, we never hear about shit like that. We never hear about all the labor strikes in which people were just fucking murdered, anchor tins and shit like that. Nothing, nothing. I mean, the most history we hear after the Civil War is like just different fat guys who invented different things with electricity.

It's like Roger Ailes has rewritten everything. I mean, it is so true. It's like, which is the next sloth to lead us to despair? That's literally it. After fucking world, after the Civil War, who's the next talking slug to be like, Hey, there are enemies. There's just nothing. There's nothing about reconstruction. Then there's like, oh, well, we had Roosevelt. Then we had a really fat president that you want to hear about him.

They had to get a bigger bathtub. Do not read those last 90 years of history where we completely let the planter class take over the southern United States and money interest took over the northern cities, but a bigger bathtub. I don't think that's true. I think it's a little fucked up that people don't know that like the Irish were a big problem and still are in this country. All right, so forget it. Let's just not, let's get to our Twitter. I do want to say one last thing, hearing this on stage with three Irish Americans, I'm happy that the Jewish nation Israel has no history like this.

No, it's an apartheid state and always has been. Sorry. Hey, thank you everyone so much for coming out, truly. We will, so we'll take a minute, but then if you guys want to buy a poster and take a picture, we'll sign all that shit. We'll be right there. So, you know, yeah, if you want to, that'll be fun too. We'll sign up around. We really appreciate it. Thank you everyone for coming out. Thank you.