The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 267 -Assassin Arthur Bremer (live in Wisconsin)

Episode Date: May 18, 2017

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine Wisconsin's own Arthur Bremer SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host It's actually Gareth which is awkward. It sounded like there were a couple of garrots.

This is like the Senate. This is the garrots side and the non-garrots. Obviously playing the the garrots not the non-garrots who hate my father because he didn't birth a gary. We're not the light drop it seems like a place that like the guys we're gonna attack Batman would gather. That's just a Molly kicking in. It's true though. This is Gothamy. Your hometown boy. Notice the people in the background clapping. Fucked up. I'm sure when you were running around in a tutu at comedy sports. No I remember when I was in the comedy sports parking lot pirouette and directing people to the parking spots thinking I'll be back here doing my own thing. That'll happen. Thank you everybody for coming out. This obviously is fantastic.

Dave's fired up. Look at him. The energy. Helpful. Oh my god. It's not mine. Oh Jesus. Stick with the old energy David. You know I actually have a funny story. Does that help? Where is it? Can you guys wait 10 minutes? I had to kick your mic over for a sec. How'd it go? Sound like I went okay. Yeah. My dad and I broke through some important stuff. Oh good. So it turns out he'd get three hours sleep. What happens? Good things? You might send yourself the Detroit podcast instead of the... That's fun like Freaky Friday. Or not. I ran to my hotel. I hit the... Thank you. One person gets you Dave. The elevator door is closing really slowly and it's just about closed and I'm hitting you know closed and then... You had to go back to the hotel? Yeah. Did you go through like some sort of plasma warp thing? Did you hit a stargate? That was very fast.

We're not staying here. When I have to move Chubby can move. Which is a fun comic you've been working on. Yeah. Chubby can move. So just about the door is about that close. Someone hits the button and it slowly opens up and they walk in and they're talking... The guy's like standing there and I go get it, get it, get it. And he says what? I'm like I got like 400 people waiting for me. Get it, get it. 400 people waiting for me. We have a booth. And he just got in and didn't say where the fuck are 400 people waiting for me. He was just like okay that sounds reasonable. Like I'm going up to the fifth floor. Like what's he... Do you think there's like 400 people in my room? I'm breaking a Guinness record. Get the fuck out of here. I got 400 guys in my room. I got 400 guys and 80 balloons. We're setting a record for the most people around 80 balloons. How many bits did you do? I don't know. Some of it was rambling. I don't remember. I mean the heroin kicked in halfway through it. That's not true Peter. He doesn't do heroin on show days.

I wonder how many of you guys will know this. You don't have a lot of history here. Well they don't pull any punches. You don't have a lot of history here. There was a French guy in like 1600s. It seemed interesting. But then it was just like cold. It's freezing. Another day. Very cold. I cannot bear it. Go pack, go. The only thing that's keeping me alive is the cheese culture. So one thing we have a comment from Arsh. There's this cheese and antique store here. If you think about it, cheese is an antique of milk. They open up an antique store and people are not coming in. How can we get people in Wisconsin to come into our antique store? You guys got cheese? How old are those plates? They come by the register impulse buys. They're like the antiques magazines there. Great cheese.

Look at that China set. Holy fuck. I can't say no to that. You're listening to The Dollop. This is a bi-week The American History podcast. Each week I get to it. Dave Anthony. Read a story from American History to my friend. Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Even in my home city. You would think with this one you would know because you were raised here. I'll shock ya.

August 21st, 1950. Arthur Herman Bremer. Nothing? Nothing really? Anybody? Is he here tonight? Wow. Not that long ago. He was born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin to William and Sylvia Bremer. He was the third of four kids. His father was a truck driver by day and sold beer at Milwaukee Braves games at night.

Awesome. That's how you work a double. His mom was into horse racing. Arthur's half-sister and older brothers left home as soon as they could. So nine. In Wisconsin, I believe that's a legal age. Once you can make cheese. Old enough to make cheese. Old enough to leave.

Famous quotes. And that's why we don't write down your father's expressions. Arthur wrote in a school essay that he got through his childhood by pretending, quote, that I was living with a television family and there was no yelling at home. I hate to say it, dad, but does this ring a bell? So TV raised him. He just, so did he hear a laugh track? You stupid bitch, the stew's called.

And he was like, it's okay. Everyone's just watching my fun family. Arthur went to South Division High School. Oh, my God. Someone got excited at someone right near who got excited when... Oh, no. That's how you react. That was so from the gut.

That was gentlemen. Oh, God. And there he joined the football team. But his mother sent a note to the school saying her son was, quote, too sickly for football. So he was off the team. That's all it took? Yeah. Sorry, your mom doctor says you're too sickly.

She wants you to ride horses. She loves the ponies. But she says you're weak. Your mom says you suffer from being a pussy-itis. Does that... That a thing? That a... She said later, quote, Arthur didn't like the summertime.

He had very delicate skin. Dad, again, is this ringing bells? If he went out on a bright day, he had to wear a long shirt. He hated that, but got even madder if he got all red. It's a great catch-22 for a child because you don't want to be mocked. You don't want to get sunburned, but you also don't want to be mocked for looking like you belong in a NASA space program. So you're just, like, walking out like, hey, having fun? But I can't.

The sun might touch me. But it's not like Wisconsin is full of, like, tan, sun-baked people. I think we would make a differ with you. You're mostly a Northern European fare. I've seen your couple of million German restaurants. So enough about the alley. A lot of... Like, I would say 90% of you are getting sunburned if you go out without long shirts on.

I think it took a while before people here learned that sunburn wasn't tanning. Hey, look at me. I got a nice one, huh? The hell, you're brown! Yeah. Where's your bubbling flesh? It'll come. It'll come. No way! Arthur graduated from high school in January 1969.

He is named in the yearbook, but there's no picture. Are there other pictures? Which I've never seen in a yearbook. Just a blank space in his name. If I could go back, that's what I'd do. Yeah. Yeah. Most likely to not be here.

There's no other reference to him in the yearbook, that's the only. Arthur was described as a loner, friendless, persistent, and weird. So is his chill. Fine. He'll find it's a weird time in a man's life. Persistent and weird is the worst. But it's not persistently weird. It's persistent and weird.

It could be persistent about other things. I might have come across weird. You're right. Do you hate the sun, too? Do you? Do you? We hate the sun. We do.

It's in the dark. Do I look weird in a black hoodie? In June? Arthur wrote about school, quote, no English or history test was ever as hard, no math final exam ever as difficult as waiting in a school lunch line alone, waiting to eat alone while hundreds huddled and gossiped and roared and laughed and stared at me.

Yeah. It is like he's living in a sick home. It's like Mary Cages walked in. That is terrible. If someone had been nice to him, this might not be a dollop. But people weren't nice to him. People in Wisconsin. Can't imagine them having fun with this poor chap.

Arthur took photography classes at a community college. Not gonna help. Right off the bat. When a weirdo gets a camera, it's like, he's armed. Is there a particular special way to get like a panty? Excuse me? Like a panty picture? A panty picture?

Of panties? Of panties? On. On? On. You want the panties on? On what? On me?

Hi. Oh. I'm in a photography class. You suffer from persistence, I can say. Panties? No. No panties. Can you make a living as a panty picture?

I don't think there's a right way to answer your question. There's a Sears catalog. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I want it more from the box. I got a closed elevator door. 400 people are waiting for me. Go back. He also worked as a bus boy.

Okay. But he was demoted to kitchen help after customers complained that he was talking to himself. Oh, God. Oh, Jesus. Also, that is crazy for a company to just be like, we got a problem. You're crazy. You're talking to yourself. Look at the back.

We saw this. You know that dust under the rug? But he's just talking to himself. So if he's in back going, motherfucking sons of bitches. Yeah, but at least that there's like eight employees who are like, I'm scared. Instead of a restaurant full of people like, I'm terrified. He just told the parmesan who was going to date it. Oh, I fucking buck up.

You know, sometimes there's a crazy bus boy. Okay, I'll buck up. Welcome to buck ups. Son of a bitch. Table for how many? Ah, bitch. Two? They said I was weird.

Take my tray of panties. Sorry, let me just get your chips out of here. From the bottom. Like up. Not like sears. Up. Is the waiter coming? Is there a waiter?

I guess it's the question. Is there a waiter? Is there a waiter in your half hour? Hi. You've only ordered from us. Thank you for talking to me. Arthur then filed a discrimination complaint against the restaurant. They hate crazy people.

The investigator called it unjustified and suggested he get psychiatric help. Fair. Totally a fair thing to say. He did not. He quit his job. I'm not shocking. He quit. Then he got a job as a school janitor in November 1971, which is what every crazy person does.

I mean, it literally is like in the paper. It's like, are you crazy? Been fired? Be a janitor to school. Oh, okay. And he moved into his own apartment. Okay. Right?

Yeah. Arthur's mother, quote, he just wanted to be on his own. You couldn't reach out to him anymore without upsetting him. He never came to visit. I would take his mail over there and other things like a sweater if it was cold or some fruit, apples or canned food. It's cold. Here's apples. I got you some chili and a sweater because it's cold out.

It's chili. You might go outside. It's chili. Want an apple? Where's the sweater? I brought chili. It's chili. Put on the fucking sweater.

Here's the panties. I heard little noises coming from inside, but when I knocked, it got really quiet. Nobody answered. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. That is really weird. Someone doesn't like mom. On one of those slippery icy days, I went to his place to make sure he was all right.

He opened the door this time, but he wouldn't let me in. Arthur's younger brother, Roger, said, quote, he hated mom. Okay. Okay. So he might not be totally crazy. He might just hate mom. He's totally crazy judging by your reaction. People who hate mom.

The show? Yeah, the show. It's a good amount. When Arthur was 21 years old, he met 15-year-old hall monitor Joan at the school where he was working. Wait, how old is he? 15. She's 15.

He's 21. Okay. That's called a... That's not good. I gotta say that it's good. That's not like a prime Wisconsin mating situation. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh, talk your parents. Look, the truth is, if one can buy beer, it's probably gonna work out. And one can. That's probably what she was... She was just like, get Barzima. He was like, I love you. There's no Zima.

You talk to Mapo while I'm gone. I love Mapo and I love you. There's no Zima yet. Zima was invented in 1970. It's like all past. Zima was invented in 1951. Okay. I know my zistrate.

So Joan and Arthur mostly hung out at her house. Okay. Her parents were like, come on over. You're 21. Fuck my daughter in her room. Was that an invitation? Yeah, I think so. We're having a party.

Respond. They only went on three dates. One was to a blood, sweat, and tears concert with Joan's friends. Spin and wheel. What was that? That's one of their songs, right? Okay. Spin and wheel.

To go round. I think I know the song and it's nothing like that. It is now. Nobody on earth remembers it. So now I have reinvented it. Earth, wind, and dave. Right now there's a guy listening to the podcast at home from... No!

No, no, no! Nobody remembers it. I was tears, man. Spin and wheel. I think so. I think I nailed it. Since Arthur was older at the concert, he felt like a leader, so he tried to show off and kept clapping.

None of that. I mean, I don't mean to make fun of this man's mental illness, which seems obese, but the idea that you're like, I'm the eldest, I got to show her now to enjoy blood, sweat, and tears. Check out how you like a concert when you're my age. Woo! Yeah! So...

Like how I'm liking that? One of the ways he showed off was by clapping too loudly. Oh, yeah! Woo! Spin and wheel! Got two. Got a dave. And trying to dance...

Oh, yeah, that's already great. Using moves he had seen on American Bandstand. Yes. Why won't people form a line? Get out of my way! It didn't work. Joan was embarrassed. It's weird that a 15-year-old girl would be embarrassed by you acting like a weird dad.

Yeah. After six weeks, Joan refused to see him anymore. She considered him to be, quote, goofy and weird. He didn't have any friends and got mad at stupid things. But Arthur kept phoning her, begging her to see him, and she refused. So Arthur shaved his head. Smart. Smart move.

Figuring it was the best way to show her how much she meant to him. Yep. No, that's a good, clear... This is one of the ways that you can get a lady back. Yeah. Yep. Shave off all your hair. Shave your hair.

And stare at her. Hey! I'm willing to commit. What's the problem? Sorry, I clapped so loud. I'm bare now. I love you. You said you didn't like my hair, right?

No, I never said that. He did it to, quote, show her that inside I felt as empty as my shaved head. So it's like, it's like, it's like body poetry, right? It's like making a poem with his body. There's just something like, you know, men will do this when they're like, and I think anybody will, but when they feel like they're losing somebody, they'll be like, I just need to be totally honest with how much it's hurting me. It's like, that's not going to help.

That's not... You're my everything! I'm in love with you! I shaved my head! I'm empty on the inside! It's like, no, I really... I'm the thief. Yeah.

Just today alone, I've experienced blood, sweat, and tears from you, so... It's burning, weird. Well, I don't think... When Arthur went to work, the kids at school laughed at him, as did other janitors. That's not good. We think you're weird! If other janitors are laughing at you, you fucked up so bad.

You're the weird janitor. Oh, God. When he was finally able to show Joan, she laughed at him, too. It's not going well, is it? It's going really, really poorly. In January of 1972, after several phone calls in one day, Joan's mother told Arthur to leave her daughter alone, or she would call the police.

A couple hours later, Arthur went to Casanova's gun shop... Great place for single gunslingers. Casanova's, right? I want to open up a gun shop, but a gun shop for lovers. Is a gun the only thing standing between you and eternal love? Come on now to Casanova's! We don't shoot arrows, but we shoot something! Seaman!

We should cut that part out! I won't talk in the ads anymore, but I thought it made an appropriate point. One of the reasons that we talked about opening up Casanova's was so that I could... Casanova's! So I could masturbate in the back room while I'm shooting my gun. Casanova's! And maybe meet a woman. Casanova's the end of the commercial.

Because there are things I think a woman would like. This is the end for sure of the commercial at Casanova's. I've never been exposed to making things! Casanova's! With three locations! Come on down, I'm jerking off in the back room and shooting guns! He bought two handguns. I jerk the gun off and chop a dick off!

Casanova's! Spurning wheel! What song are you saying? What is it? Spinning wheel! Got to go round! Yeah, but that's not it. Seems like it is.

It's a song that I know, but it's not the one you're singing. I think it is. Spinning wheel! Is that it? Oh, fuck it. I don't even know. Are they gonna nail it? Sure.

Casanova's! He bought two handguns, a.38 caliber pistol and a 9mm Browning automatic. The lover pistol. He was not great at shooting. That won't be a problem. In his first attempt, Arthur shot holes in the ceiling instead of the target he was aiming at. Was the target on the ceiling? No, the target was down there.

That's not good, though. He went ahead and shot up there. Not good. The ceiling's higher than the target. The target's down on the ground? Yep. Shot up in the... up there. Terrible.

A little while later, he was arrested. For what? Well, he was found sleeping in his car with bullets scattered across the front seat. Well... Just covered in bullets and his shirt off. Casanova's is great! Y'all ever been to Casanova's? I met a woman!

Not a woman. Man, it's a rifle. Go ahead. He was given a basic psychiatric evaluation but was only charged with disorderly conduct and $5.38.50. In a place where all the guns and all the ammo is so legal, I guess in a way it's like, well, he's just sleeping with bullets. He's just sleeping with bullets. What are we going to do?

He doesn't have loaded guns. He's just a normal guy sleeping with bullets in his car. He's just sleeping with bullets. What's a big deal? That happens all over Wisconsin. Yeah. Oh, come on. We found another guy sleeping with his bullets.

He sleeps better with the bullets is what he said, Sarge. He says he has insomnia unless he sleeps in his car with his bullets. My friend has that. Around the same time, Alabama, Alabama, sorry, I apologize to Alabama. For adding the R. Alabama Governor George Wallace was campaigning as a third party candidate for president. Wallace was pro segregation and pro states rights. In his inaugural speech as Alabama governor, he said, quote,

Oh, David's never a good ramp up and not girl addresses Alabama governor. segregation now segregation forever. Feels like we lost some people. It's going to turn into a sort of meeting now where I discussed pro segregation. No. No, sir. But it's not a year. Sir, that was a test.

And you fell into the honeypot. Yeah. You have been eliminated. It would be a great way to get rid of racism. Anytime there's more than 200 people in a room down with race rats, right? Get them out of here. Drag them out. Two more in the back.

Get them out of here. All right. We'll throw them in lava. Lava? I'm racist against racists. Is there a lot of lava here? You're thinking of lakes. Lakes.

What did I say? Lava. Yeah. There I go again. I swear. Governor Wallace was famous for his stand in the schoolhouse door at the University of Alabama when he blocked two black students from entering. Cool. Oh, what a great way to get fame.

Yeah, that really is, though. That is like a political stuff. I'm a fucking dick. I'm the race linebacker. President Richard Nixon was very concerned about Wallace. Which says something when Nixon is like, you trouble me. That's not good enough. Well, because he was going to take away all of Nixon's racist voters.

Okay. Cool. I want my racist. Yeah. Now we use you there for a lot. Nixon gave 400,000 from a secret slush fund to Wallace's rival for governor. Nixon also started the Alabama Project, which had more than 75 IRS officers digging over the past tax returns of Wallace, his brothers, and every financial supporter who had done business with the state.

Okay. The IRS found nothing. So nobody was under audit? No. Okay. That's the only way you can check. In his 1972 presidential run, Wallace toned down his blade in racism, adopting a more subtle approach. He denounced federal courts over forced busing and pledged to restore law and order.

Which is a way of saying, we're going to arrest the black people. Right. Wallace was polling at 20%, most of whom would be Nixon voters if he was not running. And the poll shows if Wallace ran as a third party candidate in November, he would take enough votes from Nixon to create a tie with the Democratic candidate. Well, David, why are we talking about it? After the assassinations of John F. Kennedy, Robert Kennedy, and Martin Luther King, Wallace knew he was a target. How do we know they just weren't going after peoples with last names that had the letter K starting? That's true.

He makes a good point. I'd love to have some research. Talk about that. It's not a song. Arthur quit his jobs. Jobs. What are his jobs? He's a janitor.

He's a janitor and he's still- And a crazy person. He's working it like- He's a janitor and he has sex with bullets. I don't think I put this in here. He got a job at like an athletic club. That's great. Yeah, racquetball.

I'm your guy. I'm going to lay down on the floor and look up. Throw you the panties in my mouth. This is how you play racquetball. I don't know why they didn't like me in high school. You know, I was voted most weird. Do you want to see my panty in your face? Do you want to go out on a date?

Do you want to go to blood, sweat, and tears? How old are you guys? 14. I'm going to dance and clap the shit out of that show. So the day he quit his jobs, he began a diary. March 1st, 1972. First entry. It is my personal plan to assassinate by pistol,

either Richard Nixon or George Wallace. Alrighty. That's how you... Did he say Dear Diary? Nope. He just... Damn, fuck it. Right out.

So right out the gate, hard to top. Yep. What's his opening line again? It is my personal plan to assassinate by pistol, either Richard Nixon or George Wallace. By pistol. By pistol. Okay.

I intended to shoot one or the other while he attends a campaign rally for the Wisconsin primary. Okay. How will the news associations describe me? So he's already into the fucking news coverage. He is moving very fast. Very quickly. There's very little planning.

He's just like, what will I... will I trend? As an unemployed painter, an unemployed part-time busboy, a college still can't spell it, drop out. He's spelled it with a D. And then he put still can't spell it. I have it, an unemployed mouth content who fancies himself a writer. So he's out. Now he's out of the park.

Arthur started going to Wallace events and meetings. He got a bundle of posters, bumper stickers, and buttons. And on April 3rd, he went to a Wallace rally at a Holiday Inn in Milwaukee. Okay. So that's a fucking... I mean, if you're having... It's a hot room. If you're having a presidential rally at a Holiday Inn,

you are a fucking killer. Yeah. You're like, all right, yeah. And by the way, security's probably pretty loose at the Holiday Inn. Not great. After the rally, he put his diary in a suitcase. Sure. Where diaries go.

Wrapped it in plastic and tin foil and buried it in a landfill. Yeah. No. Look, I'll stop you when I hear something weird. Because you don't want anyone to find it. Okay. A suitcase is how you pack something. Foils how you keep the Martians out.

Okay. Plastic so it doesn't spoil. Name a weird step here. Imagine someone being like, what's in the suitcase? Uh... Pannies? He figured one day it would be a huge literary find. In a landfill.

In a landfill. I mean, the ego on you to think that you could put something... You wrote in a fucking suitcase buried in a landfill and be like, they'll know someday of me. Well... You ever been to a landfill? All the time. I see you there every week.

That's where I go digging for suitcases. Yeah. Oh, you're the demographic for this man. You're Googling. What? Should I finish my joke? Finish your joke. What are you Googling?

I do want closure on this, so I'm all right with this. So... How does it go? You want me to look it up? Yeah. You're there, right? Is there not... I want to know what this fucking song is.

I mean... You guys actually need to go back to the hotel to find out. That's not fair. You don't do shit for this podcast. I did for her. You just show up like a fucking clown and then everyone's got to... Hey, it's not right. It's taking a real turn.

Sorry. It's just having some fun with you, man. And then realize who's gonna... Now we can say fuck it. Now we can say fuck it? Yeah, fuck it. Or do you have it? It's slow load, Wisconsin internet.

No, no, we use slow load. Notoriously. Notoriously, poor internet. It's called Time Warner. They're slow load. They're... Would you give her the slow load? Come on down to Casanova's gun shop.

The slow load. Fast load. We're not just cocking guns. Casanova. Slow load. What'd you say? What just happened? I developed a catchphrase earlier.

What's your catchphrase? I would like to show them my tattoo! When I get mad at like the system... Oh, are you talking about the guy? Oh, no. No, no, you... No, I have a tattoo of the Packers. He wants to see it.

The internet's too slow here. Okay. The day after he buried his diary, Arthur flew... What a day! A rebirth! I feel whole again after putting my diary in foil and a suitcase and a landfill.

He flew to New York with the plan... Where's your suitcase, sir? I'm just carrying my clothes. Okay, if I lay on the floor next to you... No. No. He flew to New York with the plan of losing his virginity. I mean...

Who has him? I mean... Apparently, at this time, if you're a weirdo, you have to fly to New York to get fucked. Like Wisconsin's like, Nope. The whole state.

No, we're good. So he flies to New York. There's no promise that he hasn't met anyone from New York. No, no, no. He's just like, I got to New York! Yeah! That's where you can fuck!

That's what they call it! The city that never not fucks! He figured he'd be dead soon so he should lose his virginity. Now, actually, that's reasonable thinking. If you're going to go down in a gun battle, get some. It might be the key to the gun battle philosophy.

Normally, that's a lot of the problem. Sex is a sin. People are like, Well, then I'll blow myself up in the market. Sure. That's where I go for sex, up in the clouds. That's true. That is where I go for sex, up in the clouds.

That's a great story. So, he went to a massage... Sexier Casanovas! He went to a massage parlor, but was disappointed to learn he would just be getting a hand job. I thought you were going to say a massage. I mean, my back feels great,

but my dick still hurts. But he at least found a dirty one, right? But then it wasn't dirty enough. Yeah, no. He asked the masseuse if he could quote... Can I massage you inside? It's worse. How?

He asked the masseuse if he could quote, Put it through you. Now, I've said a lot of things, John. I've never tried to put it through a woman. I want to see it come out your back. Do you have a condom? Should I put it through you? Put it through you.

He doesn't have the speak of a virgin. Shall I put it through you? The greatest thing about fucking a woman is when you see her come shoot out from behind her. Because you put it through her. It's like when you ask a ghost, may I put it through you? Or whatever you want to handle this.

I don't want to put it through you. He flew home disappointed. Imagine sitting next to her. NAS! Bullshit! I tried to put it through a massage therapist. She just jerked me off. Back feels good. Where are you from? Back in Milwaukee,

Arthur put one of his guns under a mat in the trunk of his car. But it went down so deeply into the wheel well that he could not get it out. Is the gun stuck in his wheels? It's fine. You can't drive around comfortably like that. I just gave think of the guns going to go off

and kill me. Then no one will know where my suitcase diary is. I'm worried that bullet might put it through me. I'm just having a real bad couple of days. So what's the problem with your tire? It's like Canada. On April 10th you went to Ottawa, Canada where Nixon was giving a speech

to the Canadian Parliament. Why? Yeah, no. On the day it was cold and drizzly but Arthur kept his hands out of his coat pockets because he had a.38 caliber gun in one of them. For two hours he cased the route

of the Nixon motorcade. Okay. He pulled up on some parked cars in an empty gas station and he wrote in his diary, quote, A new diary? Yeah, he started a new one the next day. Is he burying them daily? I brought it out of suitcase money!

That one he buried as like a treasure for someone to find. Sure. Without a map. And then he started a new one. I don't know if he's planning on burying this one or not, but who knows. I mean, that's a determination you have to make with your own diary. When is it time to put it in foil, a suitcase, and a lamp?

Are you ready to be buried? The diary wants out. Yes, yes, yes! Yes, bury me alive, yes. Your thoughts hurt me. What's your head like? So he wrote in his diary, quote, A handsome cop with a mustache took down the license numbers

of all the cars, including mine. Okay. I just love the deep... Very descriptive on that one. It's handsome with a mustache. Very handsome, peace officer with a mustache. So he waited. And when Nixon did pass,

he wrote, quote, The motorcade went through before I knew it. I had missed him on the prime target date. So he sat in the car away from the motorcade. The motorcade drove by and was like, Ah! Oh, I should have been standing over there. Ah! Near the motorcade.

Deadlines! But this is also after Kennedy's been killed, so I assume Nixon's not like in a fucking... He's also in Canada. He is in Canada. So he's probably got that Canada like, Who tells him about her? They don't even have bullets here.

Now, he walked around and then later that day he saw what he thought might be Nixon's car in front of the U.S. Embassy. Okay. You gotta make sure. Quote, I went immediately back to get my gun.

I stupidly took time to brush my teeth. You know, you're out all day. You've got your gun. You're not thinking about eating. Your teeth started to feel grimy. You go back in the room to get your gun that you left when you walked out.

And then you're like, Mike, it just doesn't feel... I've got that feeling. They're not like shooty teeth right now. You want to have a nice smile. Alright, teeth brush, let's move. I just, now that I brush my teeth, I need a mouthwash. Oh, so ready to shoot.

So now that I'm using a mouthwash, you know, after a shower, I like a shave. I do. I really do like a tight shave. I like that guy's handsome mustache. Maybe as well get one of those going. Handsome mustache. After a handsome mustache, I need a suit.

I should go buy a suit. Nowhere's open. Well, I'll call it a night. Tomorrow I'm going to get up early, get a suit. And start the day. Start the what? What was he doing? You were buying a suit? Yes. Oh, you were getting your gun. I love this suit. I really do.

Like a glove. Okay. Quote, I stupidly took time to brush my teeth when I got back to the car, it was gone. Why had I fussed? Why had I fussed? How many times a day do we say that? Why?

No one can remember when Sirhan's necktie was on straight when he shot Kennedy. He's like walking through the hall of fame. But I disagree. Because that year, Sirhan Sirhan got his shoes on the worst dress list. There you go. I mean, proof point.

That evening, Arthur walked past a theater where Nixon was the guest of honor at a white tie event. He wrote... What other kind of tie would Nixon want? He wrote, quote, wow, if... He sounds like Christopher Walken so far. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. If only I could shoot him wearing a white tie and tails. If I shot him wearing a dirty t-shirt, some of the glamour would have been worn out. Wow, so this is like next level dilute. I mean, this is...

Well, now, when's he gonna fucking see... The grimy t-shirt. Was he gonna corner him at the fucking gym? What the fuck is he talking about? I knew I'd get you to barbecue. Yeah. There's something really worrying about wardrobe

when you're like, I gotta kill the president, but the moment's gotta work out. The dress has to be right. I have to have nice teeth. I'm planning on eating after it. I got a playblood sweat and tears while it's happening. I'll be the guy clapping aggressively. So when he was in a motel

on his way home from Canada, he squeezed the trigger of his gun forgetting it was loaded. Wait. Wait. What? He was just driving? No, he's in his hotel room. Oh, he's in the hotel chilling? He's got his gun, as you will, in your hotel room.

And then he started fucking squeezing that shit. Is that what you're doing in your hotel room with the gun? And it was loaded. Several shots went off. Several? Says it's not accidental. How many bangs before you're like, that's me? It was upstairs.

Several shots went into the bedding and the floor. Still terribly. Target was on the ceiling. The roar was deafening. I felt sure the woman who rented the room blow would come running. I turned on the TV real loud.

That was the TV. No, I'm watching guns. The show. Really good. But nothing happened. No one came. So it's a quality hotel. Yeah.

Go ahead and go in there. You can shoot. Yeah, the next day, the mage is like, oh, no more bullets. At least there's no blood. On April 24th, Arthur Rotten's diary quote,

I am as important as the start of World War I. Who needs dear diary when you have openers like this? I mean, more important? I mean, that's serious.

There's a mental issue, obviously. No. Dave, I don't mean to go out on a ledge here, but I think he's mentally incapable. I just need the little opening in a second of time. This will be one of the most closely red pages since the scrolls in those caves.

Since the scrolls in those caves. No. We all know what he's talking about. I know, but why doesn't he know? You remember the scrolls in the cave? It wasn't hieroglyphics. It started with, oh, look! Scrolls!

Leave behind! Open these ancient suitcases! The scrolls! He went on, all my efforts are just another goddamn failure. There's going to be an explosion soon. I've had it. I'm tired of writing about it. About what I was going to do.

About what I failed to do. I was supposed to be dead a week and a day ago, or at least infamous. I want a big shot and not a fat little noise. Wait, a fat little noise? A little fat noise, fat little noise. Yeah, but that says that it's big. Also, little.

Well, it's kind of an oxymoron, but still, why not go with all small things? I want an anorexic little noise. I mean, I feel like he's not logical, so I'm not sure what he's doing. This guy! Now, Arthur was a terrible shot. So he knew he would have to get close.

I just need Nixon to hold a target, and I'll shoot the ceiling. Wait, no, that's wrong. In his diary, he wrote, I've decided George Wallace would have the honor of, what do you call it? Wallace won't get more than three minutes of network TV news.

Editors will say, Wallace dead, who cares? Ask me why I did it, and I'd say, I don't know, nothing else to do, or why not, or I have to kill somebody. Fair point. Now he's just, like, mad at his diary. Is it just me or would the internet have saved him?

He would have just had a channel, and people have been like, I like this channel. Oh, no, he'd have a ton of followers on Twitter. Yeah, maybe be certified, verified. The next day, certified. You've been certified by Twitter, what? Get out of here. The next day, Arthur checked out

two books from the library about the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy. That's an awkward librarian interaction. Just the assassination guys. Can I have all your books on recent assassination of Robert F. Kennedy? Sure, yeah. Is there a how-to?

A how-to? Or like a diagram of pictures? Diagrammo. How to walk up and shoot a guy in a tummy? We don't have those, but we do have a bunch of books on actual assassinations. Are you wearing a dress? Sorry?

Can't see over the counter. Are you wearing a dress? You know about Sears, the catalog? When I was in New York, I thought a lady was going to sit on my dick, but she just grabbed it and took it.

Like it was an enemy. You wanted to put it through her. Yeah! Do you have a book on that? Absolutely. It's about putting it through, putting it you. Can I ask you something else? Nope.

Benin, where are you? Not a question or a song, so we'll just walk out through the scanner and I'll hand your books after that part. I can't just hand them to you. Go through the scanner and then I'll walk them out to you after you go through the...

We don't want anyone stealing them. You want to see me clap? You don't take them. Actually, just take them now. Walk through the scanner. I'll just ignore it. Go ahead. I don't even care. I thought the lady in New York might be my girlfriend. Go take them all. Take any book you want. Never date a 15-year-old!

It's hard! Hard to look at you weird and you shave your head to say I love you. I've got moves. I've got being a jiggler for gentlemen that can only help you further. Again, go. Sears.

OK. Diary entry, May 7th, quote. It bothers me that there are about 30 guys in prison now who threaten the president and we've never heard a thing about them. Maybe what they need is organization. How about a make the first lady a widow

incorporated? Or... He's organ. He's like a... Aggressive. He's like a union guy now. Is he? Or chicken in every pot and a bullet in every head incorporated. So...

What's up? The good news not going to be taken. Totally available. Sorry, you want to call your corporation what? Kill the first lady, everybody deserves a chicken and will kill him. Is it taken? How long does a patent take?

Which way should I take? They'll hold the National Convention every four years to pick the executioner. A winner will be chosen from the best entry in 40,000 words or less upon the theme how to do a bang-up job of getting people to notice you.

What is his angle? It sounds like everything. It's a how-to on redecorating and killing the first lady. I've been clear. He just wants someone to go hey Arthur, how are you? Not good enough.

He wants somebody to find the suitcase. It's like he's a crazy invisible man at this point. He has to be noticed. So on May 9, 1972 Arthur went to Wallace, Michigan campaign headquarters and offered to be a volunteer. And why do you want to sign up?

Well, you work hard. That's clear. Yeah, okay. The next day, he went to a Wallace rally in Lansing. Two days later, a Wallace rally in Kettle. From Arthur's diary. He came up with a new term, quote.

Never good. Assassinator. Assassin is so ordinary. Got to think of something cute to shout out after I kill him, like Booth did. He wants a Schwarzenegger phrase.

Put that in your pumpkin. He wants a tag. He wants a good tag line. He wants a fucking Schwarzenegger line. He wants a great... Finally, something not crazy. Yeah. How about that in your pie hole?

I put it through you. What's on your mind? Do you have panties? Hold on, the last one's not worked out. He's got pitches. What do you guys like better? On May 13th, Kalamazoo police got a call

about a suspicious looking person in a car near an armory. Who's that? Arthur told the cops he was waiting for the Wallace rally to begin and wanted to get a good seat. Okay. Like anybody else, I'm the only guy out here

in the middle of the night waiting. Great seat for Wallace. He wrote he did not have a chance to shoot Wallace at the rally, and didn't because, quote, he might have shattered some glass and blinded some stupid 15-year-olds who stood in front of it.

Yes, there was some glass somewhere between him and where he wanted to kill Wallace, and he thought if he shot it that some 15-year-old kids would get hurt by it. I don't want to hurt you, buddy. I don't want to get crazy. I'm just trying to kill one guy. You can date 15-year-olds, by the way.

Fine with that. Just don't take him to a concert. You'll feel old when you're clapping. It's a hole. It's not a hole. That's the thing, it's not a hole. Everything's a hole. Every hole is a goal.

I'm going to write that down in my diary. I'm going to put in my suitcase. Every hole a goal. Miss you, Mom. It was not going well. I was running out of his savings and becoming very disappointed in himself. Okay.

He had to sleep in his car the next two nights. Diary entry. Just another goddamn failure. I may werewolf now. I have a question. Go ahead. I have a question. Werewolf now. What does that mean?

It means change into a wild man. Okay. Well, okay. He's accurate. I'm going to werewolf now. Diary. That's what you should always say after you take a shot. I'm about to werewolf.

See you guys later. I'm tired of writing about what I failed to do. I'm traveling around like a hobo and nothing has happened. He drove to Maryland to attend another Wallace rally. He wrote in his diary on May 14th. My cry upon firing will be so he's got his catchphrase.

Oh, he's got it. Did I do that? His shooting catchphrase will be a penny for your thoughts. Well, I have a hole in me. Thought number one. He blanks on his line. A penny for a nickel.

No! A penny for your thoughts? It's not great. But it's not horrible. It's not horrible. It's turning the phrase on its head sort of, right? Because usually you're sitting on quietly. You're like a penny for your thoughts.

But in this case, you just shot a guy and you're like a penny for your thoughts. In the head. He's very mean. We don't know where he's going to shoot. Well, if it's for the head, then I get it. Okay. But if it's somewhere else...

If you shoot a guy on the dick, can you not go penny for your thoughts? No, yeah. A penny for his dick! I was aiming for the head. I have horrible aim. I'm sorry, guys. A penny for the thoughts is what I drew up.

Every time I shoot for that, I hit there. Okay. My crying upon fire will be a penny for your thoughts. Copyright 1972. Copyright 1972. All rights reserved. Is he going to say that? No, he's just copywriting it already.

He's got to say all this stuff. Not eligible in Hawaii and Alaska. All rights reserved. Not eligible in Hawaii and Alaska. Get it all out! So Wallace was having a rally at a shopping center in Wheaton, Maryland but it didn't go well.

Wallace was heckled and taunted. Pennies and tomatoes were thrown at him. Oh, that's a perfect tie-in. God bless America. At least some people are still being like, fuck you, racist asshole, and throwing tomatoes. You should always throw tomatoes at racists.

Tomatoes do need to make a comeback. It is officially time for tomatoes again. Yeah. After, Wallace refused to shake hands with anyone and left as they had thrown tomatoes at him. Sure. The next rally was at the Laurel Shopping Center

16 miles away. After Wallace was done speaking, he shook hands with the crowd against the advice of the Secret Service. Okay. Press report. At 3.04pm, a blonde crew cut man wearing a red-white

and blue shirt with Wallace's campaign buttons pinned to it, pushed through the crowd. When the man got near, he saw Wallace's stomach and fired. He reportedly fired four more times, wounding two of Wallace's bodyguards and a woman campaign worker. Wallace fell to the pavement

and his wife rushed to his side. The front of her yellow dress was smeared with blood. She kept crying, honey, honey, and Wallace was conscious at the time. Arthur never yelled a penny for your thoughts. Fucking panicked.

He fucking panicked. That's all you're fucking thinking about. You got two things to do. Pull the trigger, yell your catchphrase. That's it. It sounds like a chaotic scene, though. I know, but it's fucking... When you pull that trigger,

everyone for a moment is stunned. So you have a moment that's so perfect to yell a penny for your thoughts. It's so perfect. There's a lot of shooting, but yeah, you're right. He bailed. You fucked up.

Yeah, you did it. He... Lined! He was dead. He's got it written on his hand. Hold on, hold on! A penny for brain time! Fuckers!

A mini tater top! I sweat it. I was nervous. A lany, a lany. Who's lany? Is lany here? A lany for moths. Everyone! Penny! I'll buy a moth for a penny! Everyone?

Yeah... Then he's in the cell. Penny for your thoughts! He was immediately attacked by the crowd, who knocked him to the ground and just beat the shit out. Penny for your thoughts! Penny for your thoughts! That sounds good.

If you shoot... If you shoot a racist, the crowd there I think is going to be more aggressive than if you shoot Richard Simmons. Richard Simmons. Run that back!

Well, someone of a lighter fare. Like, a racist is going to have more angry people than like a Bernie Sanders crowd. I don't know if they beat the shit out of the guys, as much as just tackle and hold them down. This is the reason we need free healthcare! Got a hole in me!

But I think... So they beat the living fuck out. Okay, so your point is that the racist crowd is more amped up and aggressive. Yeah, like a Trump crowd is going to really fuck an assassin. A Trump crowd

is going to really attack his assassin. If there is one. If there is one. Which we're not affiliating ourselves with in any way because we do have travel coming up. We have travel. So we're not saying that.

But Trump's assassin If you shoot him, the crowd would attack him. If you hear me. So... Thank you, sir. So he was then arrested. Wallace's campaign.

For what? For not having a phrase. A sitcom police got him. If you shoot someone and you don't have a catchphrase you're arrested. If you have a great catchphrase, everyone's like...

Right, that was good. So Wallace's campaign crew left in a truck as they announced over their loudspeaker, Governor Wallace will live. Just vote Wallace on May 16th. Scramble.

Always be thinking about the campaign. How do we edit this? Just say he'll live. Great! 90 minutes after the shooting, Nixon was recorded discussing the shooting with White House Council Charles Coulson. Nixon was worried

Arthur, quote, might have ties to the Republican Party, or even worse, the President's re-election committee. So he's already thinking. Is he a left-winger or a right-winger? The White House Council responded, quote, well, he's going to be a left-winger by the time we get through. Nixon laughed and thought

that was a great idea. What? It's Nixon. Time-aware. It doesn't work out for him. No. No, it doesn't. Coulson was given Arthur's...

So the White House Council was given Arthur's home address by FBI Assistant Director Mark Felt. Five hours after the shooting, Coulson said on tape, quote, yeah, I just wish that God that I thought sooner about planting a little literature out there, maybe a little late, although I've got one source

that maybe might, and Nixon responded, good. Later that evening, the Washington Post was told by a White House official that Arthur might have a connection to leftist causes in the campaign of Senator George McGovern through literature found in his apartment.

But... No, no, no. So... And they just did it. And then the reporters were like, yeah, that sounds good. Always just take what the White House tells you right now. Reporters were also told

that Arthur was, quote, a dues-paying member of the Young Democrats of Milwaukee. So... The Y.D.M. Yep. Hot group. In and where you? Huh? What's that?

At the Young Democrats of Milwaukee? Okay. What's that? No, I know I'm totally excited. It's just the rest of it that I'm like, what's happening? We got a little into your family stuff. That was not... Are your parents...

What's that? The Young Democrats of Milwaukee is a real thing. And your parents... Conceived you then. That's what you said. You said your... You said your parents have Richard Simmons locked in a house. No, no, no.

But that's not what I heard. Can we get a Richard Nixon Simmons already? Oh, please. Come on from the top ten, gentlemen. Count your point cards. Sweat to the only. According to... Mazel.

According to a CIA agent, White House Counsel Colson allegedly phoned him and asked him to, quote, bribe the janitor and break into Arthur's apartment to discover if he had any documents that linked him to Nixon or McGovern. Wait. This is...

Okay, it's hard to... Who were we rooting for at this point? Nobody. At this point, I'm back to... I guess. I'm almost rooting for Arthur at this point. Yeah. The CIA agent was against this, but started preparations for the trip.

But before he left, Colson called off the operation. At 5.10 p.m., two FBI agents entered Arthur's apartment. A secret service agent was already there. He told the FBI he was on an intelligence gathering mission. The FBI were furious when they discovered the secret service in the apartment. Okay.

Federal agents... Federal agents then left Arthur's apartment unsealed. They came back after 80 minutes when they received reports that the press had gone into the apartment. But didn't this just happen with some... Yeah, there was. There was something recently,

like in the last five, four years, where somebody did something crazy and the press went in and even though it was a crime scene, they were like, touch all the papers! Take pictures of the papers! Get selfies! Hurry, we're media! This is our job!

To ruin conclusions with our ideas. Does everybody remember what that was? Was that like a shooting? San Bernardino! San Bernardino, yeah, it was San Bernardino. The St. Petersburg shooting. That's where your parents met. Russia.

Remember? Her parents met at the San Bernardino shooting. Right. Wait, I can't... You guys remember? There's no one in the front here. Okay, keep going. Oh, yeah, there's two seats.

It's fucked up. Chicago Tribune said their reporter quote found that FBI agents had come and gone, leaving the place unguarded. As a consequence, the apartment resembled a circus. Newsmen, neighbors,

elements, ringmasters, clouds, monkeys, curiosity seekers and college students fresh from a nearby beer party. So that's who you want on the crime scene, right? I just love that there's a fucking kangaroo going on. No, drunk...

Someone's like, hey, man, the assessment department's open! Probably the hardest people to keep out. Nicely buzzed investigative people. What is this shit? No, you don't tell me what is mine. This paper right now is also mine, okay? No.

Just a guy? Just a guy with a beer hat going through a diary? Woo! Woo! No, you don't even right now. I get to touch whatever stapler I want. I'm fucking here.

For real. They were overturning the furniture, pawing through clothes, opening bullets, and other souvenirs. Dave, what's the problem, baby? And getting their fingerprints and footprints everywhere. Sure, footprints.

Take your shoes off. He's got a code. Calls it a dojo. Get the shoes off! Have some respect! You trample on his desk. Arthur's diary, which might have provided some immediate and vital leads,

was taken by a reporter. Good. The FBI agents returned a few hours later. That was a hell of a barbecue. Oh, no. Oh, shit. Did you lock it? Did you put up the caution tape?

No, no, I said... I said I'm not going to lock and put up the caution tape. Oh, fuck. That's when I saw the beer party. Oh, fuck. Dude, it probably won't be that bad. Oh, my God! What? Why did that record scratch?

They're playing albums! The FBI agents then began putting evidence into boxes. Sure, sure. Red solo cups. I don't know, was this here before? There's a beer hat. Look at all these condoms.

Yeah, there's a lot of used condoms. So we came back from the crime scene. It turns out he was running a frat house. Oh! We saw the University of Wisconsin shirts. There's a lot of cheese. Hey, remind us of the crime? It was.

Okay, because we were like... Yeah, okay. We may need to go back. We locked it, right? Did we? I didn't lock it. God damn it! At no time did they attempt to seal off the apartment

and there was no indication that they ever made an effort to dust the place for fingerprints. Lunch is lunch. Yeah, once you're off the clock, you're off the fucking clock. His apartment was described as having closed littered all over a Confederate flag on the floor,

which is... Yeah, kind of doubly weird. Respect the flag and yet it's on the floor. Yeah, so if you're walking on it... on a Confederate flag, you could be like, he hates him, but my guess is he doesn't hate him. No, but he did chew Wallace. Maybe he does.

Wipe your feet off in that weird rug. There's a table covered with family photographs, some Wallace campaign buttons and newspaper clippings from Wallace's 1968 campaign. There was a gun digest, a box of bullets. That is a weird name for a gun magazine, by the way.

Gun digest? Yeah, because... The way it is, how do you swallow all this bullshit? So... There were unpaid electrical bills, an airline... Scott and Bayes Bell! An airline in motel brochures

on the refrigerator. The press began to talk to people who knew Arthur. He was called, quote, a loner who pretty much stayed to himself and didn't talk. On the night of the shooting, Arthur's father held an impromptu news conference in the kitchen of his house.

Okay, so... We're gonna flag a few words. And I think they're gonna be impromptu news conference and kitchen. Am I good here in front of the dishes, boys? No.

Maybe... What if I'm splashing some radishes? Not good. Must... making bratwurst? Here's how you make a risotto, gentlemen. What is this? So, I'm doing like a... I'm trying to do like a cooking show. Did your son...

What? I'm deconstructing ham. Yes. Are you aware of the crimes your son's accused of? Yes. How do you deconstruct a ham? Put that... Thank you! Are you from the Washington Post?

I am. You guys love me. You guys love me. We've always loved you. We've always loved you. We're meat lovers. Yes. With a meat paper. But I think that was my watchful. Anyway, back to the ham. I really want to figure this out. Because, you know, Valentine's Day is coming up. Life and I have been having a lot of problems.

So, it's fall... Mainly bedroom related. I just get distracted, I guess. She says I'm not present. It's just like, what? You know, and I'm like, I am present. I have feelings for a co-worker, so I'm going to stop that.

Where are we? Ham! Right! Spinning wheel. I can't get that song that doesn't exist out of my head. How does one deal with that quandary? Spinning wheel. Cut it off.

It's like, name that tune. Right before I could possibly know it. Everyone left except for you and me, huh? That's kind of weird. Spinning wheel. What? Do you have it? Spin wheel. Spinning wheel.

Spinning wheel. That's not the melody. You know what I was doing? You never got that form! Not at all. Not in all the song you were singing. Not at all. That's what I was doing! Spinning wheel!

Spinning wheel. Eleanor did not raise him right. It did not raise him right. All right, Here we go. Peter, you did not raise him, right? So, in the kitchen, his father is in his gray work shirt in overalls. Having a press conference. Standing besides a sink full of dirty dishes.

He said he couldn't believe it was his son who shot walls. We had no idea he was even in Maryland. He should have called. His mother also spoke. Oh, I... Quote, Arthur must have figured out that summer was coming soon again. Maybe that was it. He hated summer.

No. Now, this is what my mom would say. He was really shooting summer, if you think about it. No, I think it was something he ate that didn't agree with him. Oh, my God! Why else would he do such a thing? No. He didn't care about politics, at least not that I know of.

It had to have been something he ate. She is literally painting it on food! Even that, or somebody gave him one of those false cigarettes and made him smoke it. Wait, wait. Wait. Wait. A false cigarette. A false cigarette.

Right there. A false cigarette. It's the false cigarettes. They... wait. I know what I mean. It's the false cigarettes they all smoke now. He couldn't even stand regular cigarette smoke. He couldn't breathe when they blew it in his face. What is happening?

What just happened there? Who is that? No, he's a fucking parrot in a cage with some stoners in a house. That might have made him mad, too. I just don't know. But why couldn't... Why couldn't they have protected George Wall's better so Arthur couldn't have gotten so close to him? Holy shit, no more!

Fresh conferences in the kitchen! You think the dad's gonna fuck it all up? And then mom's like, you know what it was? Ribs. He ate bad pork. My wife would like to speak. Bananas, bananas, bananas, bananas, bananas. From the back?

Bananas. Yes, thank you. So, it must have been something he ate. So, it must have been something he ate can cause two things. What year is this? Farting and assassinating a presidential candidate. What year is this? 70?

It's 74, I think. No, I think it's 72. It's just not okay to blame assassination attempts on food. No, you get horrible gas. You're like, I gotta shoot a presidential candidate. Oh, that's disagreeing with me so much. I'm gonna kill a presidential candidate. Oh, never mind. I'm relieved now.

So, she's the reason that he's fucking crazy. She's fucking crazy. She's out-crazyed him completely. 100%. What did he eat is the question. Answer that and we have our murderer. Thank you. Did you give him ham?

Did you deconstruct the ham again and feed Arthur? He gave him deconstructed ham. The last time you did that, he shot his teacher. Thought it was the ceiling. Too soon, sir? The next day, the AP reported a close source of the investigation said FBI agents found evidence in Arthur's apartment that he was connected with left-wing causes.

Yeah. Like a fucking kegger. Yeah. They didn't even need to really plant anything, right? I mean, they just go to this place. They're like, he's a left-winger. Look at all these beer cups. Well, people are already in there

fucking rummaging through and destroying everything so they can't... Left-winger. Right. He liked to have fun. Left-wing. The New York Times news said there were contradictions in the picture being sketched of Arthur Bremen.

Quote, an examination of articles in his apartment indicate that his interest in politics was eclectic, ranging from Wallace to birth control to the Black Panthers. So you liked all the greats? I mean, I think the birth control was just because he wanted to lose his virginity. Is it?

And then the Black Panthers is just because they look cool on posters. I'm assuming. If I had a cool hat, I could probably fuck someone. I'm a Black Panther. They're not bad either. What's the problem? An albino Black Panther?

Come on. The FBI found Arthur's diary in his 1967 Rambler Rebel. Hot car. His car was described as a hotel on wheels. It's very... With a tied-up maid. This is totally Rainbow Man. It's very Rainbow Man-ish.

They found blankets, pillows, a blue steel 9-millimeter semiotic pistol, binoculars, a woman's umbrella, a tape recorder, a portable radio. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. A woman's umbrella? Yep.

Just in case you're out in Lady Rain. I like ruffles. Lady Rain. It's pink. It's just man rain and Lady Rain. It's a Lady Rain. Man are going to be fine. Give me my woman umbrella.

There is a portable radio with a police band, an electric shaver, photography equipment, and a garment bag with several changes of clothes. Hey, what poor do you need, literally? The Times reported that his younger brother, Roger, who was 18, had a hard time recalling the ages of his siblings, and didn't seem to know where any of them were.

Okay. So... He described his mother as withdrawn. Sure. Sounds like he might be. Yeah. There was a prayer vigil outside Wallis' Alabama office. The crowd of about 500 people was all white.

It's weird. It was strange. A store manager said, quote, it's awful, and we wish we could blow up the whole state of Maryland. So they're handling that well. George Wallis was paralyzed from the waist down, and one of the bullets was permanently lodged in his spinal column.

He dropped out of the presidential race. So something good did happen. Sad this one out. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bias against racists. There are people too, Dave, and... Conspiracy theories broke out pretty quickly. It was reported Arthur had gone to New York

and stated the Wallar Astoria. Astoria. Astoria. How did he pay for it, they asked. Sure. Senator Hubert Humphrey was supposed to be there, but canceled his stay. Why, they asked.

This is when he was just getting a fucking hand job of trying to get fucked. How did the former busboy and janitor manage to buy guns and tape recorder, portable radio with police band binoculars and other equipment and finances travels? Arthur had gone to Michigan three times. Could you imagine going all the way to Michigan?

How do you pay for it? How? A train master reported that he was with a well-dressed man with heavily sprayed curly hair that hung down over his ears. Your hair is perfect. Is it? The man talked. And on my ears.

Is it? Perfectly placed. Mmm. The man talked. Mmm. The man talked excitedly with a New York accent about moving a political campaign from Wisconsin to Michigan. And there was a third person with long hair

who could have been a man or a woman. And. Mmm. I'm also here. And the car Arthur drove was not registered. The train master also said the FBI called him a liar. Well, you do not do that to the train master. I'm the train master.

Sorry, sir. We didn't realize who you were. Master of trains. Well, now that you've opened your jacket and your naked underneath, we're going to say no to you. Other conspiracies say Arthur met with CIA agents in Ottawa and Milwaukee. Charles Coulson and other leftist groups.

How do you see it? The CIA always comes to Milwaukee. How does Coulson spell that? C-O-L. OK, never mind. OK. It's a local. Yep.

They also believe G. Gordon-Liddy was in the crowd and that there was an APB out for a blue Cadillac with Georgia plates immediately after the shooting. Sure. But on July 3rd, the FBI closed its investigation to Arthur, including he had acted alone with no other accomplices. OK, so they determined he's just a lunatic liberal. Yeah.

Arthur was charged by state authorities with four counts of assault with intent to murder and was arraigned in Baltimore on two federal charges. His five-day trial started on July 31st, 1972. The defense argued Arthur was a schizophrenic and legally insane. The chief psychiatrist for the circuit court said Baltimore had a schizoid personality disorder with some paranoid and psychopathic features.

This does not, though, substantially impair his capacity to understand the criminality of his actions. Which is so fucking crazy. Yeah. Right? Yeah. The idea that you could actually sign off on this as a full mental disorder and go,

but he could still make proper decisions. I mean... He's bananas, but it's the good... He's bipolar schizophrenic and his brain's all fucked up, but come on. He could still make judgment calls. Yeah. That's not being unfair.

If the fucker can write... Come on. You know what I mean? Have you seen his mom? She's schooled? Which is, you know... She's sleeping. She married a horse.

She loved horses. But it really is true that, like, you know, that is a matter of mental neglect. This is... He's definitely crazy. I think that we can all agree. France, not okay. It took 95 minutes for the jury of six men and six women

to find him guilty. Arthur said, quote, Well, the state's attorney mentioned that they would like society to be protected for someone like me. Looking back on my life, I would have liked it if society protected me for myself, and that's all I had to say at this time. Okay.

It's pretty good. Getting into some... He's working on himself. After the trial, Arthur... After the trial, Arthur's father said, I never saw anything like this. If this is mayoral injustice, I cannot understand it. Probably if he was black or some communist agitator,

he'd be free. To the kitchen. So? To the kitchen. So his parents are cool? Yeah, no, for sure. Yeah. Get his dad out of the kitchen.

I mean, let's just free flag fly. Nope. The jury foreman said to psychiatrists who testified to the sanity or insanity of Arthur, quote, this is the jury foreman, quote, use so many big words. They couldn't agree. They were so faceless.

You had to use horse sense. Wait. What? Heat? That is all the quote? The jury foreman said to psychiatrists, use big words. Huh?

And? Instead, the jury foreman used his horse sense. Horse sense? What? Or horse sense, which is horse sense. Which sounds like horse. Horse sense is different. Get shot for that.

Horse sense, it's equine currency. Some fancy gentlemen came in who were all, I learned at big schools, using big words. Sure. And I was like, I'm a horse. So it is that. Okay. So it is literally someone being like,

I speak pony and I think we all do too. Guilty. Which is translates to. The New York Times, quote, they ignored all the experts and decided on the basis of their own uneducated impressions. So when does that let us astray? So naive was the horse sense of the jurors

and several of them cited the diary as evidence of Arthur's sanity. The incomprehension of these typical Americans points up the difficulty in getting public action to combat mental illness. It's fine. It's going to be fine. The Watergate scandal began the next month.

FBI assistant director Mark Felt, who's the guy that they called the beginning to get the, became Washington Post journalist, Bob Woodward's source known as deep throat. What's up? Nixon. It happened a while ago. We're not deconstructed a ham up here.

Nixon managed to keep Watergate covered until he was reelected. One conspiracy theory is that Watergate was a distraction to take the heat off the wall of shooting which Nixon was behind. Dave, we all have to drive home or drink after this. The editor-in-chief of Harper's magazine visited Arthur in jail to make a deal for the diary.

He was offered around $10,000. Well, you're going to have to dig up a couple of them. How could you suitcase landfill sands? Bad. But foilin' them. You want the one in the dirt or the one I got? The editor said, quote, Arthur Bremer looked nutty as a fruitcake.

Sure. Okay. That's a diagnosis of sorts. Sure. I'll talk. 113 pages of the 137-page diary were published in 1973 as an assassin's diary. It covered the period from April 4, 1972

to the day before he shot walls. In 1974, George Wallace told a reporter, quote, he hoped the Watergate investigation would turn up the man who paid the money to have him shot. Wallace later said he misspoke. Well, why, Dave? The FBI briefed Wallace on August 20th, but they denied his request to see his files.

His wife, Cornelia, told McCall's magazine that the FBI urged Wallace not to press the issue. Just pay the dry clean. Yeah. Just zip it. Zip it. What? What'd you say?

Now go ahead. Go ahead and zip it. You do. Huh? Yeah. Arthur was a primary inspiration for Paul Schrader's character, Travis Bickel, in Taxi Driver. Well, I mean, he had a mohawk.

It's totally different. The diary had not been published yet when he wrote the script, but when the diary came out, the writer was surprised the number of places where it totally lined up up with what he had imagined. Now, can I call a little bullshit? No, listen, the film Taxi Driver was then a motivating factor in John Hinckley's decision to shoot Ronald Reagan.

It's a circle. Circle of the wheel goes round and round. On July 23rd, 1982, the first half of the diary, Arthur, had buried. They found it? It was auctioned off for $5,500. Oh, it had been found? It had been found by a construction worker in Milwaukee

wrapped in plastic and tin foil. Who? God bless him. Who opens it? They say it might be used heroin needles, but I found a diary of a psycho. You never know what you're going to get when you're digging suitcases wrapped in foil. That's so great.

I've always said that. It's like a fortune cookie. Brenda, I'm under arrest. It's now at the University of Alabama at Birmingham's Historical Library. George Wallace gave Arthur, forgave Arthur, in August 1995. He said he was a born-again Christian

and that he loved Arthur. I hope that we can get to know each other better. We have heard of each other for a long time. Well, for one reason. Please let me. Our names keep coming up in circles. Please let Jesus Christ be your savior. That's what he wrote to Arthur.

Arthur did not reply. I'm good, actually. I find where I am. Wallace died in 1998. Arthur was released in 2007, 17 years early for good behavior. He will be on parole until 2025. He cannot leave Maryland without permission

and has an electric bracelet. He also cannot go near local, state, federal, or foreign officials. He lives in a small Maryland town and works for a cleaning and home restoration business. Janitor. Not the weird one, though. On December 5th, 2014,

the Rock Island auction company sold the gun that shocked George Wallace for $28,750. Jesus Christ. A lot of people made money. That story is about capitalism and how great it is. No matter how horrible something is, you can make fucking cash

if you just get in at the right time. My two-point plan. No, no, no. We're not going to take it to your two-point plan. First of all, start digging. We talked about your two-point plan. Just dig for plastic wrap and stuff. Number two.

Get a gun. Can I flag your two-point plan? Not good points, either of them. Both bad points. Both bad points. Anyway, you can turn that into about $30,000. Nope. How do you feel, Wisconsin?

Oh. That's your native boy? Yeah, he is my native boy. One of your heroes? Yeah, well, I don't think that's fair. That's quite a leap, honestly. How many famous guys do you have from Wisconsin? Lots.

Two? No, many. The guy, the maestro on Seinfeld. The list goes on and on. There's Dahmer. There's the guy from Seinfeld. Jane? Huh? The venue typewriter.

Which nobody uses. It's called a computer. And they fixed it. Got the guy from... Hot cheese. Hot cheese? Does someone say hot cheese? Jane Krasinski. The Panini.

The pepperoni cannoli guy. R.I.P. Did you guys invent the Panini? We invented the Panini. Do you think you invented the Panini? If that's what validates us in your eyes, Dave, we invented the fucking Panini. We invented the Kringle.

This is the invention of the Panina. Hey, we got a piece of you. Oh. That's the invention of the calzone. What? Harrison Ford's from here? Yeah. He flies in weekly on accident.

He's here every week, but he's meeting to go to Indiana. I hate to break this to you, but at 9.37 tonight, Harrison Ford shot the president. Uh, no. I don't know if we normally like to end our show

with shouting matches. Is that right? Feels like we don't. Gene Wilder? No, you're doing okay. Hey, guys, let's not turn this into a shouting match. This feels like a celebrity auction where you guys are pitching.

I think someone just yelled salami. I don't think that's true. Pepperoni cannoli. We already went over him. The Panini. When we circle back up Panini, you guys are really into the Panini idea. We want to thank you guys so much for coming out, truly.

You know, Dave and I are from here. This is quite an honor. Yeah, this is where I grew up. I grew up here in Morocco. I have Roger's phone number on my phone. We had a great time. Thank you so much for coming out. We will be signing posters in the back

that we'll be selling and signing. We'll sign your fucking cars. We'll be hanging out. Yeah. I and we appreciate the shit out of it. Thank you very much, guys. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.