The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 58 - Baseball Madman Lenny Dykstra

Episode Date: February 14, 2015

Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine Lenny Dykstra.SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCHPATREON

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the topic is about. Boy howdy! This is a good intro this is one of our better interests. Do you want to look who to do? I'll do one bottle. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gareth. Stay okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is not going to come to tickle you quite good. Okay. You are Queen Fakie of made-up town. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville! A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle and do what? Pray! February 10th 1963. Wait a minute that's that's modern. That's almost we're almost at an anniversary. This person could be alive. Leonard Kyle Dykstra entered the world in Garden Grove, California. Okay. His parents

Dennis and Marilyn Dykstra were a young phone company workers in Garden Grove, California. Oh this one is hitting right close. Yeah this one's really close to us. People don't know Garden Grove is somewhere around us and I don't know exactly where but I know that it's 20 to 30 minutes away. Yeah it's around here. It's a place that nobody cares about. I'm sorry if you live there. Sorry Garden Grove. We don't really care that much. But the rest of us think you're gonna hear the straight truth. He was the second son of the couple. Lenny's dad left the family when he was four. Good dad. One only assumes because

of Lenny. Yeah obviously. He was an asshole and so the dad was like I'm out of here you four-year-old. Yeah enough with the blocks! So he was raised by his mother and his stepfather in Anaheim, California. Okay. We both know about Anaheim. Yep. We were a sports family Lenny's mother said. His father and I devoted our lives to the kids and their sports schedules. I can't even remember a weekend when we didn't have some kind of game to get to somewhere. Okay. Okay. Yep. You down? I'm down. It sounds like they're great people. Lenny spent his childhood playing many different sports but baseball was his passion. Four-year-old

Lenny swung at tennis balls for hours and cried when his parents suggested he stop. At six he talked coaches into making him a base runner in an eighton over league. At six he talked them in. Hey man come on what are you crazy? What's going on over here guys? How hard do I have to sell you guys on me? Hey guys what's going on over here? Come on. I'm six. Do you want some candy? Let's make a deal. Look at my legs. Look at my legs. Look at my legs. After going three for four in an all-star game a nine-year-old Lenny begged his stepdad to stop at the batting cages afterwards. Jesus. Quote, I don't feel right dad. I've got to work. Whoa. Nine years old. I don't know man.

I just I went three for four. It just fucking feels weird dude. Like how would you even take that seat? Just be like he is adorable. I wouldn't. I don't know if I call him adorable. I think I might say we need to take you to like some sort of psychological evaluation. Put him in a home. Lenny just stands there and pitches at the door all day. So the family. Oh I already did that. It's okay. I'd love to hear it again. Oh right. The family. No I didn't already do this. The family live near Anaheim Stadium which is known as the Big A. Yep. And Lenny that's where the Anaheim Angels play in their baseball team. The Anaheim Angels of

Los Angeles. Yeah. And his brother and him would ride their bikes to the ballpark and they'd sneak into the outfield on off days. Okay. When he was about 12 he and the other kids hiked the four miles to Anaheim Stadium and they snuck inside as mother said. It really wasn't a mischievous thing. Lenny was just so thrilled to be on the field where Rod Crue played. They were sliding into bases and hitting balls off the wall when all of a sudden there was a police helicopter above them telling them they were all trespassing. Oh shit. I guess they would have been arrested but Lenny was so fast that he got away. Well I

mean. She sounds proud of the fact that her child was committing crime. He's an X man. He can outrun helicopters. So from this we can gather that there was a lot of supervision. Yeah. Good parenting. It's fine that the dad left at four. Yeah. Clearly nothing happened. There's not a vacuum. Lenny was very fast. He was a record-setting runner on his high school football team. The team would practice set plays all week and then on game day Lenny would get the ball blow off all the set plays that everyone worked so hard on all week and then go score a touchdown. Like that's the kid you honestly don't want to be on a team

with. No you fucking hate his guts. He's like scoring. Six points. Woo. Like motherfucker. I mean all the things we worked on a week and you just blew it off. Yeah man we scored though. Come on. I hate you. Let's go to the batting cages after this. He was the leadoff hitter in high school because he loved the attention. Lenny dominated the team by the time he was a sophomore. He was short and people are always telling him he was too short to make it. Do you know who this is now? I know who Lenny Dykstra is. Okay but you don't know the Lenny Dykstra story. I don't think I know. I might be all canned to some of it. You would know. Okay. He

took the sport so seriously that before his high school games all the other boys would be lined up along the fence talking to girls while Lenny would be in the locker room staring at a ping-pong ball for 15 minutes. He believed that by doing that the baseball would look as big as a basketball. Wait. Okay. Okay. All right. So so he thought that if he stared at a ping-pong ball but it will then when he went out to play baseball he'll be like holy shit look at the size of that thing. Oh god what's coming at me. I just got to hit this meteor once. All right. So so we tell that story. So if he plays ping-pong what

does he look at. Oh he looks at a little tiny. He just looks at a marble. He's like yeah. Holy shit. And then someone's like let's play marbles. He's like I gotta get his pin. I gotta look at a pinhead. Yeah so he's not smart I think is what we're saying. Sure. Or he's got a weird you know he's got a weird diet. The way he looks at sports is a little strange. It's a little strange. Yeah. A student at his school recalled I had the pleasure of playing high school baseball and football against Lenny. I have to say that I have never seen a high school baseball player as good as him. Truly an incredible athlete but as great as an

athlete as he was he was an also an incredibly arrogant jerk. I have personal memories of him that remind me of how selfish a person he was. I mean there's that there's a lot of extra words in there but still I look back and think what an athlete what a dick. Right that's like what he really needed to say. I mean clearly he was he gave a nice quote but the real thing is no the guy could play ball but he's a fucking asshole. Yeah he's a piece of shit. Lenny played for Garden Grove High School and batted 550 which is insane. Yeah that's an insane bat. The best baseball players bat like around 330. Yeah 18 at 18 he

entered the 1981 amateur draft. Right. He was convinced his hometown angels would select him in the first round. Oh well I know I know where we're headed. Instead they took shortstop Dick Schofield the first round passed and the second round passed. Oh boy. Lenny was not picked. Finally with a 315th pick in the 13th round the lowly New York Mets took a shot on Lenny. Okay. So I'm guessing based on his batting average and his size. Oh it could have been his size but more than anything it was his fucking attitude. People don't want a douchebag on the on your team. Well during like the interviews you don't bring up the ping

pong thing. No. No what are you I stare I stare ping pong. This is my best friend Wilson. Lenny was furious. Fuck the angels he said he felt betrayed by the angels and was not happy to take the Mets offer. The Mets offered him $25,000 bonus to sign. Right. This is very common now like a player I get like $7 million to sign. Yeah. Right out of high school or college. Lenny said no to the $25,000 so they offered him $27,500 and he said no. Okay. Then the Mets offered him $30,000 and he refused that. Jesus. There's not really a backup plan though right. Whoa. I'm the best fucking player in the draft Lenny told the Mets scout

and I should be fucking paid like it. Oh wow. Well the Mets have to be excited for this guy. Finally the Mets made him a final offer of a $35,000 bonus. Okay. Lenny took it. Jesus. You also you also can't demand a huge bonus if you were picked $315. There's not a lot of leverage. Because if they give you the most money then they have to pay everybody above you more money. You fucking idiot. It's asshole too. Also the idea that you go from being like I'm worthless ten grand later you're like I'll take it. Ten grand is your margin. It was $5,000 more. I'm the best guy in the fucking world. Fine. You sold some all shoes here.

$5,000 more. Okay. I feel respect. I feel the respect that I needed. I got it there. $5,000. That says you think I'm the best. Thank you. In the Mets minor leagues he became friends with fellow outfielder Billy Bean who later became the long time GM of the Oakland A's and the star of the moon. Oh moneyball guy. Right. Quote Billy Bean. Lenny was perfectly designed emotionally to play baseball in that he had no concept of failure. Oh wow. Yeah. No concept of failure. That's gonna lead to other things in his life. Okay. Cool. I'm excited. Another former minor league teammate recalls quote he was the hardest playing athlete I'd ever seen but he

was very disrespectful and he didn't give a shit if he had to run you over to gain an edge. It was all about Lenny Lenny Lenny Lenny. All right. He had a habit of bringing home the fattest ugliest women to have sex with and then he would kick them out afterwards and return an hour later with another. Oh so but he would be but before he would go take those women home he would just look at a doll so he could kind of visualize whatever how easy it was gonna be to hit it when they were there. It is major league debut on May 3rd. Is there any reason why he would just bring home the. I don't know. He's just that's just his thing. He liked

he liked him big. He liked him big and he liked his women like he liked his ego. Yep. Enormous. Okay so his major league debut May 3rd 1985 leading off of the Mets Lenny went two for five scored twice drove in two runs stole a base and hit a home run. Pretty good. It's a fucking awesome debut. He played part time after that and didn't get into the lineup steadily until July when Mookie Wilson went down with an injury. You probably do since you don't follow baseball you don't know Mookie Wilson but Mookie Wilson was an actual person. Oh yeah. Mookie. Yeah. Right. Which is fucked up. Yeah. Mookie. Sure. Lenny

immediately made an impact with his scrappy style of hard nose play. He soon became known as nails. Because his nickname. Tough as nails. Tough as nails. All right. First toughness as well. It would be great if he just had like great fingernails. He had. He was the first guy to put like bedazzle his fingers. Yeah. Yeah. Every day. Man. Look at what Lenny did to his nails. Hey check it out guy. That's a fucking bronze elephant on there. The only thing that's missing from this beautiful hand is a ring. So he had a nitty-gritty style of play in the outfield he dove for balls on the base path. He slid in headfirst to the bags.

It seemed he always had a dirty uniform and a cheekful of tobacco. Now I can say I don't when you bring up players over the years there are very few that you immediately have a mental image of. And when you say Lenny Dykstra I there there are two guys who played Lenny Dykstra and John Crook played on the same team and I immediately have an image of both these guys and Lenny was always fucking filthy and he had a big fucking water chew in his cheek and he was a fast little tiny you know fucking pistol runner on the base. Right. Yeah. Okay. So the the fans took to him. He was like a real old timey. Right. He's a

throwback. Yeah he looks like it looks like a guy from the 40s. Right. The fans soon fell in love and he became one of the most popular figures around Shea Stadium. He was a great lead off hitter. During a game of golf at the Nassau County Club in 1986 Lenny secured his reputation with his teammates. Quote he walked past a bunch of priests in the clubhouse lifted a leg and farted. Oh wow. And that that gelled that gelled the team. That's how he got the respect of his boys. I mean so now we've learned a lot about the Mets as well as teammates. Yeah the priest was just like what the fuck is happening. Wow you really gave it to

those priests. Second communicator of God. Boom. Dykstra's in the house. He fit in as well as anyone said team. Lifting up the leg is what makes it hilarious. Like yeah walks up to like like a dog on a hydrant. They're like 13 year olds. Like I don't even think a 13 year old would do that. Maybe an 11 year old. Yeah I know it's insane. No. He fit in as well as anyone said team. Doug Doug Sisk. Lenny was gritty and disgusting and so were we. The opponents called the Mets arrogant and sufferable and a bunch of assholes. It's funny because that almost sounds like the quote of Lenny before he was a Mets. So it sounds like he's in the blood.

He's in the blood strong. Over the course of 80s of the 86 season they were involved in four bench clearing fights. Not light rounds of pushing and posturing like you see often but full on mob scenes complete with blood torn clothing and seriously dark intentions to hurt other players. Wow Lenny was always in the middle. The second year he was on the team Lenny helped the Mets win the World Series. I mean it's amazing that all that is over the first year of his career. Yeah. Yeah. Even if you just farted on priests in year one it's a very huge year. And this year the team award for most farting on priests. Come on

motherfucker I've earned this. Lenny Dykstra. Fuck you baby Dykstra. The second year he helped the Mets win the World Series in 1986 and that's the famous in America everyone knows Bill Buckner. It's a guy who was playing for space on the Red Sox. The team the Mets are playing against and he just had a ground ball go between his legs. He just made one of the worst place ever in the history of a man's life changed so quickly. Changed so quickly and they and the Mets won because of that. I mean other stuff happened but that was a big play. A lot of people say that Lenny farted his way when that happened. The Mets were also a

team of heavy drinkers and cocaine users. I just love the idea that you could use Coke and play sports. I mean there's stories of them doing blow on the on the pitcher's stripe after games. Oh Jesus. Daryl Strawberry and Doc Gooden were both on the yeah those guys are notorious cocaine users. Doc Gooden missed the team's 86 victory parade because he was high on blow in a drug dealer's house to paranoid to leave. I mean he was watching it. So he went out after the victory. The parade was the next day. He left the bar was out to do blow and then ended up staying up all night and then watching the parade on TV. If you're the dealer

you have to be like it's like the good times are over once he's like I can't go because they'll know you're like wait dude this is your front what you won the World Series. I told you not to do those last two lines. What are you talking about. I'll just watch it here with you if that's okay. That's okay with you. They would often know Doc it's not. I realize you're one of the they'll know they'll know that I've thought about it. I want you to leave. I'm gonna can I use this pillow. They would often gather at games after games at a blue-collar watering hole called Finn McCools where they drank with their fans and bought rounds

for the house. If you stopped by Finns around three in the morning after a home game you'd likely see a gaggle of Mets staggering along the sidewalk carrying another teammate between them trailed by a giggling swarm of female groupies. The owner of Finns once claimed that the 86 Mets single-handedly kept his bar in business. They kept a refrigerator stuck with beer in their locker room at Shea. Okay so that is what honestly like that's why that's why baseball is so different from most of the other sports is that like like other athletes will juice they'll use steroids and shit like that but you can't you wouldn't be able

to competently pass drunk no but apparently apparently if I mean that's why you just look at the ping-pong ball you can have 12 beers I went to a LA Galaxy Rangers soccer game here in America and the Rangers from Scotland were visiting yep and they're playing horribly and I looked at a guy next to me I was in a suite isn't drew case sweet and I said what the fuck is going on and he goes oh they were two hours ago they were getting pissed at a pub and they were playing drunk in front of imagine 15,000 people that's I mean it says a lot about what the respect level they have for the Los Angeles Galaxy

so after games with their little beer locker room players stayed late into the night emptying the beer stocked fridge Jesus many times the team trainer arrived the next morning to find men passed out all over the floor half-naked surrounded by crushed beer cans who so alright guys game day come on get him up look at these guys training so hard they're even sleeping here gotta love these guys and the recycling I love these guys guys the Mets often took the field with noticeable hangovers I mean I mean so if you're in charge of the Mets at this point you're just kind of like fuck it I think no one was in charge I think he

tried but I think no one was in charge of these guys right okay well there we go Lenny was maybe the grossest of the bunch his own teammates found him tough to take he picked his nose in front of the cameras he spat all over the place he scratched himself and came to the plate with a water tobacco the size of a Hershey bar sticking out of his mouth in 1989 the Mets sent Lenny to the Philadelphia Phillies in a surprise trade the trade was apparently the result of Lenny's off-field behavior Dykstra was considered a liability due to his heavy drinking and partying to what extent that was true was apparently debatable at

the time but Lenny did have several run-ins with the law regarding his off-field behavior he also had a lot of injuries but on the field injuries or party injuries well yeah yeah during a game versus the Dodgers in the 1990 season Lenny had an on-field fight with Rick Dempsey with runners on first and third home plate umpire Ron Barnes called Philadelphia outfielder Lenny Dykstra out on strikes in the fifth inning as Lenny who was leading the league and hitting at the time wow the plate with two outs in the seventh he started complaining to Barnes he then turned to Dodgers catcher Rick Dempsey

accusing him of brown-nosing the Empire that's a hard theory to like it's hard to prove you've been kissing his ass as Dempsey stood up and took off his mask Lenny dropped his bat and stepped forward the 40-year-old Dempsey immediately popped him in the face with his glove and followed with a quick right the two tangled and fell to the ground and the bench is cleared seconds later Dempsey was on the bottom of the huge pile quote somebody grabbed my face when we rolled on the ground said Dempsey who ended up with a large wealth on the side of his face after I saw the replay I saw it was Dykstra he grabbed me by

the side of my face and squeezed every pimple I had I have a lot of respect for him as a player but he's an idiot as a person although Lenny was a three-time All-Star and helped Philadelphia reach the 1993 World Series his off-field behavior was always a problem in 1991 Lenny was placed on probation by baseball commissioner Faye Vincent for involvement in an illegal gambling ring I mean he's really spreading his wings and flying it's amazing that he also sustained that level for that like that you think at some point you would like because a lot of times guys will be

like partiers and then they'll sort of balance out there wasn't that much scrutiny back then as as there is now like Dave this is before Twitter this is before 20 yeah the guy who the the quarterback for Cleveland man yeah there's a classic case right now of a guy dude could get away with it he just likes to roll his $20 bills really tight talking about that picture I'm gonna need to see the cocaine go into his nose okay Lenny was the star witness for the prosecution in a case against the but right there it's never a good sign well the star witness Lenny Dykstra never a good side against Herbert Kelso who was

raided by the feds for running a betting parlor in Mississippi the raid uncovered four checks totaling seventy eight thousand dollars written to Lenny lit into by Lenny to Kelso's lawn supplies company that's some really seeds that's some really shitty money laundering yeah it seems very like they were like you we found the checks so like I get like a hundred thousand dollars with a lawn work done every month is that right yeah and what is the what does he do we just because I you see me nails I play really hard on the lawn right I dig it up a lot so he's got this car with us what get in the car

okay I'm gonna get in the car I'm gonna dive in head first at the door Lenny's testimony revealed that the checks were for gambling debts he racked up during the offseason playing poker and golf he was playing pot he was playing golf for money like thousand dollars a hole yeah sure what that's not surprising he tried to laugh off the debts by telling the media quote it's no big deal dude I had a couple of full houses and I got beat by four of a kind BAM oh wow yeah wow a few months later Lenny nearly died in a car crash with Darren Dalton after driving home drunk from a bachelor party a resident where the accident

occurred said that when he rushed out to help he saw a badly wrecked 93 thousand dollar Mercedes facing the wrong way on the right side of the road two men one of them lying in the middle of the road with his face covered by blood and dirt and a bunch of crumpled a hundred dollar bills scattered on the floor of the backseat of the car like discarded candy wrappers what anybody lives a life where they're just crumbling up fucking crumbling up hundred dollar bills and throw it in the back 93 thousand dollar car in the back with just a bunch of crumpled hundred dollar bills

Lenny suffered three broken ribs a broken right collarbone and a broken right cheekbone a broken rib punctured his lung and his heart was bruised his ego strong as ever I'm fine you guys let's play tomorrow I could still be an asshole doc Dalton the Phillies catcher suffered a broken left eye socket a scratch left cornea and a bruised heart they both had bruised hearts listen was that from I've been there yeah was that because they were sad yeah it's tough man you know you think you know someone and then according to the police the next thing you know yeah I'm sorry my download no you've done Lenny's just so sorry good

going to rather Lenny's blood alcohol contact was measured at point one seven nine shortly after the crash that's Dee's yeah it's Dee's level it's up there that's crumpled hundreds level and his crumpled hundreds level so Lenny was plagued by injuries during the remainder of his career which is weird you think after you you know crashed your car yeah rumors of steroid you swirled he played last season in 1996 he officially retired at the young age of 33 which is pretty young for a baseball that's young but it's also nice to see that he moved to steroids because it's finally a drug that actually might help

his on the field performance instead of just completely thwarted undercut what he does everyone in baseball thought the same thing about Dijkstra that he'd vanish and never be heard from again says a former teammate there was no reason to think he'd amount to much of anything that perception pissed Lenny off in a major way he always felt he had to prove himself don't make Dyches mad hence in 1993 with his career coming to an end and his will to succeed as strong as ever Lenny looked around Southern California and sought a way to apply his competitors and drive in another arena oh boy car washes okay stop eggs no no

don't you dare what don't you dare move on what are you talking about so is nails is gonna wash some cars what executive car washes to be exact oh those are the guys with the dry rags to Lenny the idea seemed laughably simple in 1994 the American economy was booming and the beginning of the tech bubble was turning much of Orange County into a fountain of big money big houses and fancy cars yet most of the car washes were dumpy grade C setups not Lenny's oh boy within nine years his three SoCal based car wash quick lube establishments were grossing millions a treatment at Dijkstra's cost three or

four bucks more than a competing businesses but Lenny's establishments were all class he loaded up the buildings with baseball memorabilia and saltwater fish tanks oh well of course then you should go pay four dollars more to get your fucking car washed he's got baseball memorabilia in a tank fish tanks free coffee was always always available and the columns at the gas station were painted every day wait I know okay yeah that I think is maybe the craziest thing you can imagine being the guy's job what are you do every day I repaint columns so it's wet every day yeah every day it's the wet people like

how long is this paper way against that Jesus Christ did you just paint it yeah every day we paint it every day do you want to look at an octopus did you so did he have my I mean did he have money left over from MLB a lot of money you just car washing competitively was just a passion yeah okay he had the pumps waxed every day and if anything got strapped scratched it was immediately replaced Jesus Lenny made certain all his relatives had jobs both brothers Brian and Kevin worked at the car washes oh that's weird I thought he only had another brother all right as did his uncle Lenny treated his family members

to Vegas vacations pricey meals and all night parties I love that he's partying all night with us yeah still yeah who this fan yeah it just cast the net into the family bring them down with you dykes Lenny was sued in relation to the car wash in 2005 the lawsuit filed by a former business partner lindy Lindsay Jones alleged that Lenny used steroids and told Jones to place bets on Philly games in 1993 when Lenny was on the team so okay mm-hmm oh wait so this is when he was on the team she said I thought for a minute that we that she was pissed that he was using steroids to wash cars well that's how it

sounded at first didn't it and that would be fucking awesome let's get these guys out things clean Jesus Christ the paints off this one yeah it's fucking awesome finally as he's just swimming in the seawater hit his tank why is my buick dented I'm really good at it actually ma'am you guys the cleanest it's ever been the suit includes a sworn declaration from a Florida bodybuilder who was a convicted drug dealer who said let he paid him $20,000 plush quote special perks during their eight-year association to bulk up the once slight ballplayer in an interview Jeff Scott said he injected dykes Joe with

steroids more times than I can count and that Lenny stepped up his steroid use in spring training of 1993 because quote it was a contract year many fans speculated he was taking steroids due to his rapid change in size now the Philadelphia Phillies were not the first the Oakland A's were the first but the Philadelphia Phillies were gigantic monsters right and they were clearly all on stairs right this is when you first started that like this is the beginning yeah when Mark McGuire is like hey he's a normal guy it's like Jesus Christ purple his face isn't supposed to be purple is it like God he's a jacked thumb let our lady

admitted to steroid use in his book quote you know I was like a pioneer for that stuff oh I was like the very very first to do that amazing amazing so instead of just be like I didn't do it he's like no man I was the first guy or just even being like you know look it was a tough time I was really it was a contract year he's like yeah I did it fucking new for everyone else yeah that's right at first it wasn't the guy let people know your balls shrink quote at first it wasn't even illegal then after a few years I had to just go to a doctor and get a prescription you know how I got my stuff just walking into a

pharmacy bro it was as simple as that you gotta understand there only 28 people have my job in the whole world he said that but he's referring to the the 28 teams okay he's confusing teams and people the shocking that a man with an ego so large would think of himself as a team I'm the same as a team you know it's only 28 other guys like me teams thousands of people one of these jobs every year they were guys trying to take my job so I need to do anything I could to protect it to take care of my family you haven't any how much money was a stake do you 25 million dollars bro that's so much money he made the bros the

bros make anyone less likable I mean you gotta love the bro bros bros are just like an angry bro what are you talking about bro it's like oh god around the same time Lenny was deep into his car washes he discovered that his once robust stock portfolio had taken a dramatic downturn uh-oh upon retiring from the Phillies he had divided 2 million into three different investment accounts by 2002 that some had dwindled to 400,000 never wanted to sit down with a newspaper a book Lenny committed himself to learning how to invest following the markets like a seasoned broker purchasing purchasing

his first laptop and addictively stocking the internet by 2006 he owned the three car washes a shopping plaza and a gas station Jesus and was building a retail center and was as famous for his financial wizardry as he had been for playing baseball Wow Lenny opened his own trade account and was hired as a stock market columnist for the street the street.com a site co-founded by Jim Mad Money Kramer oh my god that actually makes sense that Jim Kramer would be like yeah get me that cycle totally well no Jim Kramer has a long history of just of just recommending horseshit it will be like he's the he's the epitome

of what awful news networks do which is that they deliver bullshit and then they never bring up when it's just off as fuck he's just he's just a loud guy screaming nonsense just hits a big red button talks shit and then never looks back yeah I wonder why I liked Lenny his life in high finance included an investment website co-founded by Kramer where subscribers paid $999 and I thought you were gonna say a thousand for a minute now it's gonna be like too rich for my blood it's close $999.95 whoa boy cuz I always know it's a quality investment site when they give you a five cents off yeah listen a

thousand's hard to see that nickel you could find in your couch though that's a difference maker subscribers would pay $995.95 a year to get Lenny's options picks but that's I ridiculous I mean that's just that that's I love I do love that though when someone's like how did I make millions by my bullshit handbook like wait he was even featured on HBO's real sports with Brian Gumbel for his savvy business strategies in 2008 Kramer raved to Gumbel quote if I didn't know any better I tell you that everything you hear from Lenny is an act because there's no way you'd ever feel like he's as smart as he really is he's

but he's one of the great ones in this business compliment you are not a compliment is everything about this guy seems like he's a fucking idiot but man is he not yeah that's the nicest thing someone could say about all Lenny that's that for a sales pitch you look like a fucking moron in 2006 he turned increasingly paranoid and some say delusional he became convinced that his brothers were stealing from him and fired both employees came and went like the wind having undergone treatment for alcoholism in 1999 Dijkstra insisted to people he was clean according to many who knew him however this was a lie he was

definitely using drugs as his brother Brian I'm not sure what stuff was going into his body and when but he wasn't clean I mean I knew who he was getting his pills from Jesus in March night in March 2006 Lenny hired Dorothy Van Kalsbeek as his new account gorgeous name yep a 49 year old mother of three she had spent most of her adult life self-employed helping people learn accounting software she knew little of Lenny other than he was supposed to be a financial savant with a Midas touch but there was one giant problem oh no Lenny was even better at spending money than he was it making it a boy he wanted to

know on a daily basis how much money the car washers were bringing in but he didn't pay attention to the amount he was spending and Lenny only wanted the best Lenny then decided he wanted out of the car wash business the thing that's been the thing that's just fucking kicking ass making tons of money I'm getting out he's firing fish fuck out of here the octopus is fired I want the octopus out of here by the time I come back sorry octopus you'd know no good I know I know like I don't know where I go that's I'm octopus where I go Lenny this is a talking octopus should we really get this out of here get rid of

him I don't like the way he looked at me that mother fuck we could sell tickets to a talking octopus show he's fucking talking right get him out of there cut his tongue out his English is better than most of the car washers so in 2006 he sold his North Corona car wash for 11 million Jesus then a year later he peddled the two remaining car washes to seven partners for 43 million I mean what how wow Lenny had debts though oh boy so about 20 million went to paying off loans still there's a lot of green 33 million over now Lenny was set people washing cars yeah yeah now Lenny is set he had more than 4 million invested

owned a 5.4 million dollar 9,000 square foot home on the first fairway of the exclusive Sherwood Country Club a loving wife Terry and two kids Cutter and Luke me I gotta say Luke Luke got shortchanged I'm just gonna say right now don't don't name your kid Cutter this is Luke and this is my weird boy Cutter what happened to your arms and let's just say it's not Luke okay Luke's my angel Cutter put those shears down Jesus Christ do my legs oh god no Cutter but Lenny felt unsatisfied shocking as far as Lenny was concerned he didn't have enough although the house he and Terry owned was huge it paled in

comparison to the mansion mansion located five out of yards away well the one owned by Wayne Gretzky okay so well what the fuck how can the guy who might be the best at any sport ever have a bigger fucking house than me look he's in the NHL Hall of Fame I'm in the carwash Hall of Fame give me what he has the mansion the Gretzky mansion came on the market for 17.5 million in 2007 well I'm gonna just know in the history of LD I'm gonna say that you know he's really just anxious to meet his new neighbors nails wants it nails nails no no no no no no no let me let me also just say that 2007 Gretzky perfect

perfect time Gretzky who's a very wise businessman very well known to be a very wise businessman perfect time to buy look at the mark what was happening in the market and saw some sort of housing crash huge bubble somebody jumped out yeah and Lenny was like dumbass and somebody jumped in no in August Lenny became the owner of the 12,000 plus square foot Gretzky estate is that literally the worst time to buy a house we couldn't be worse right it's literally as bad as it'd be he bought the biggest house at the worst time I love that we laugh at this shit I think about that every now and then like

it'll be like and then his parents died you're like oh man I can't believe they drowned all right what's next DA it was complete with a tennis court three outside guest houses an enormous pool Lenny called it the best house in the world and planned to flip it what the fuck 17.5 million flip it flip it for what it's the fucking you just paid top dollar for a giant house you have to flip it you have to fucking fix it up I'm gonna buy a dump and fix it up and then sell it exactly like how much upside are you gonna be looking at at a place that where you're gonna be like I'm made 19 five I'm gonna show this

thing for 18 pocket myself a sweet point five for those three years of hard work Jesus Christ his monthly payments would be a hundred and twenty thousand dollars oh my god shortly thereafter Lenny spent two million on a Gulfstream jet and what is he doing is he just prepping for one shoot of lifestyles of the rich and famous and then not worrying about the after effect let me finish talking about the jet no he bought it for two million no and then he spent another 500,000 on upgrades to have the inside of the plane look identical to the interior of his car oh my god dude with drapes and all I was

so excited to hear what you were gonna say at the end if you said the Mets Clubhouse I was gonna find that weird to make a plane look like your car what is that what hey so are you guys do good interior work with the best extra yeah you see my car over there yeah I want I want my plan card a match on the inside I'm sorry I want my plane and my car to match on the inside so sometimes I don't know if you see the inside of the plane but it is beautiful right but sometimes I want to I want to not be able to know where I am when I wake up cool so turn the plane into a car that's what I'm talking about I could see why everyone

calls you an idiot on the outside stupid his nails I get it yeah exactly by the way I love your nails his accountant said the plane was breathtaking but really unwise breathtaking in the sense that you're like my god he'll lose everything the whole jet thing was a bad idea Lenny's justification was that he flew so much for business it was a worthy expense but it wasn't it was just crazy I mean who flies two point five million dollars no Dorothy says she warned her boss that he was spending too much money Lenny didn't see it that way because he had an idea that would make him in his words a billionaire I mean at

this point yeah yeah what's gonna stop him in 2008 a plane washer at a time when nobody with a brain would start up a print magazine oh my god I what is he doing what is he like two things we're going into magazines and we're going to the typewriters he he went into real estate at the worst time and right when the internet is making publications useless he's like let's start the magazine they decided to found a magazine called the Players Club Lenny's vision was to produce a monthly publication catering specifically to the wants and needs of

professional athletes oh so there we go okay so it's something that everybody wants it's it's the perfect everybody it's a relatable thing that anyone can read yeah okay cool it would feature investment strategies high-priced toys homes and automobile tips luxury vacations everything geared toward the rich and famous how to go bankrupt in two years is how you don't do it by Lenny Dyke strike Lenny was prepared to give pro athletes advice by writing a regular column called the game of life hey all right by Lenny Dyke's job fuck yeah second with your head out front take a bunch a hundred dollar bills and

crumple them up nice then get in a car wreck they're going to 93 house for no reason and the house is still amazing quote this will be the world's best magazine hey oh well with that attitude take this National Geographic suck at time and Lenny's business plan extended beyond the magazine we're creating a lifestyle he said and he emphasized that he wanted to encourage athletes in their prime to set up set aside half a million dollars a year in customized retirement accounts thereby ensuring quote recurring cash flow for life yep the opposite of what I'll do yeah he described this once by drawing a small

circle right mm-hmm inside of which he wrote the letters TPC for the Players Club okay and next he drew a large circle around it oh and then he began connecting the two circles with lines oh so this folks on a wheel it looked like right okay and on the spokes he he called them building bridges and he wrote things like annuity private jets real estate and concierge and I saw this at a business marketing weekend event yeah I mean concierge he wrote concierge what is that concierge he said was for quote when you forgot your wife's birthday and you're in the on-deck circle and you go oh no hey bat boy go call the concierge

for the Players Club tell him to get flowers to my wife and tell her I love her sorry I'm still not clear on what the hell a concierge is in his world well a concierge is for when you're a fucking idiot but and you and you're playing baseball yeah no you're about to swing and you forget your anniversary forget your anniversary or you're like oh I didn't leave I left the lights on in my place and then you call up in the concierge but how is that one of his building bridges it's a life concierge yeah but how does that how is like all the other things sound like they're at least the theory behind them is

investing in your future not great not right advice or great advice but how does having a concierge am I talking crazy because I feel like you're on Lenny's side it's a concierge okay all right as long as we've cleared that up nicely and is he the Players Club offering a specific concierge the players come comes with a concierge it's part of the magazine you know what I'm gonna stop asking questions about the concierge the plan was for the Players Club to go straight to 20,000 players lockers and would penetrate a quote $60 billion industry the professional sports market his was a magazine by

millionaires for millionaires and by using it as a vehicle for selling financial products Lenny projected that within 10 years there'd be an 11.6 billion in players assets for him to manage I mean what a psycho as long as athletes were getting paid for playing sports there'd be a market for the Players Club or as Lenny put it himself we're recession proof baby no because we're making a magazine for the rig right we all know how the rich handle a recession what could go spend spend spend I love to spend money yeah it's trickle down this would all work with his website called nails investments

first amazing that that's a website to because the amount of time someone to be like what the fuck is this when they just want Lee press on is this shit the first Players Club featuring Derek Jeter on the cover whoops came out on April 1st 2008 Lenny seemed to see the magazine as a chance to prove how successful he was each issue began with an ode to Lenny column Lenny insisted the publication be based out of an office at 245 Park Avenue in Manhattan oh so cheap area well when you're starting a magazine you want to start you want to pay the most amount you want to pay the most for everything yeah the

thing about magazines is and anybody will tell us who started a magazine high overhead well you want yeah I'm right away you want the illusion that you've been doing it for 10 successful years that's the way to do it yeah and you should start off by saying our pig it's our 50th year anniversary can you believe it 11.6 billion dollars later here I sit Lenny called it one of the top five addresses in the world and the rent was about 17,000 per month so he's just like he's a little Trumpish in a way in the sense that he likes to label the things the most amazing in the world when they're dorset when they're just like

you know nice but come on it's a golf course Lenny had high expectations for the magazine and placed unrealistic demands on his employees based out of California he would call his New York staff at all hours of the night screaming babbling and yelling all with the help of Adderall oh god he would stay up for days on a never sleeping never resting Jesus so it's going well it's not going well he's really gonna be like Doc Gooden at the parade in no time a farmer employee of the magazine recalled editorial brainstorming sessions fueled by Coca-Cola and Ice Cream Sundays typically lasted until dawn but this

did not mean that things were getting done most meetings were simply extended hangout sessions with Lenny cracking up at his own jokes or asking us to watch the real sports segment over and over this is definitely not a guy on drugs let's watch again let's watch it again let's get the part where I yell up I'm gonna be big and I watch you watch it but also a cup of water would be great water be good oh my face feels weird you guys feel my face look at this big punk ball now let's make a magazine right he would especially love the moment where Lenny points to his seat on his private plane and said this is where the

big man sits oh god just the psycho employees watch a segment on the TV show where he points in his seat and says this is where the big man sits not only on his plane and his plane that he designed to be a car this is where the big man sits he also seemed to relish letting go a long leisurely fart for amusement of his employees or showing off his silk tie and saying you see this tie I paid 500 for it and then he would rub it on his crotch I just I would love to work there just for a little bit just to be like what the fuck five hundred dollars yeah other times I just rips one

Lenny's attempts at humor were downright offensive at one oh I'm sorry I thought those were the downright offensive he went on about how a particular layout looked faggy despite the presence what's a fair note despite the presence of a gay page designer in the room later Lenny said did you see the look on that fags face on another occasion Lenny called about potential cover subjects while the employee was at home so with Lenny Lenny knowingly on speaker he proudly stated that nobody can call me racist I put three darkies and a bitch on my first four covers oh my god yeah he's a fucking monster Jesus Christ this

isn't this isn't 1960 anymore right well do you want to hear the names of the darkies I believe I know one of the Derek Jeter yeah Chris Paul Tiger Woods holy shit and the bitch was Danica Patrick that's a strong strong words yeah okay so he somehow man those are legit darkies and a bitch he somehow managed to play sports and be a fucking racist yeah which is to me incredible that anyone can the Jeff Kents of the world who can be these fucking racists and play alongside yeah black guy and be a vert and be over yeah like just another former employee also like Lenny also my magazine three darkies and a bitch is

actually gonna be coming out I think it's September it starts you're gonna you're gonna call that yeah yeah okay yeah yeah I mean I wish you luck thank you it seems like the right time oh no I agree yeah also I bought a yacht what do you know what I'm gonna make it look like a bike another former former employee also recall Lenny special brand of humor what a very sweet way of putting it Lenny like to leave a large amount of feces in the toilet so he could hear the shrieks of the hotels grossed out maids oh my god he's like 50 he's 50 he's like 50 at this point awful that's awful by this point Lenny's

behavior was increasing you're taking some time I'm sorry sweetheart oh did I shit on the floor my bad hey maybe you don't know who I am I'm just like this nails nails by this point Lenny's behavior was increasingly erratic he used the Gretzky house and the plane to secure multiple loans and began crossing the line from merely unethical to completely criminal Lenny borrowed credit cards and money from seemingly everyone his employees his accountant and even his mother always with unfulfilled promises of great reward quote I'd ever actually loaned Lenny a credit card said Chris Frankie a senior editor at the

magazine but I still wound up with credit card charges related to Lenny that's a that's a fun that's how you know you got a buddy you want to go to lunch oh I forgot my card you want to pay for this a victim of poor leadership poor economy and mediocre sales the players club died in the winter of 2008 what after seven issues well how many more bitches and darkies did he get on I don't know how this can happen it's seven seven months seven seven magazines seven magazines seven Lenny was in ruins his wife filed for divorce and Lenny was drinking again that coupled with his alleged drug use

rendered him a stumbling mumbling version of his former self well don't you miss the car wash days day oh man an extensive article about an ESPN comm investigation came out in April 2009 and asserted that Lenny had been the subject of at least two dozen legal actions since 2007 a former employee accused Lenny of credit card fraud failure to pay rent on the magazine's Park Avenue offices and it's a very top five location yeah for lawsuits and printing costs in 2009 Lenny filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy listing less than 50,000 assets against more than 31 million in liabilities holy shit Lenny said

his filing was about reorganization not bankruptcy I'm not bankrupt oh boy I've just been moving some money around I'm moving money from places where I owe people to to play to places where it's mine as MC Hammer stood behind him nodding in the fall 2009 the case was converted to a chapter 7 bankruptcy to liquidate the estate and pay creditors the Gretzky mansion was gone the fancy car was gone the private jet was gone his 1986 World Series gone auction for 56 his rings his ring oh wow he was banned from both of his foreclosed multi-million dollar properties in Lake Sherwood so he didn't sell the other

one when he bought the new one okay smart you know so security officers were instructed to not to deny him access to the homes he was accused of vandalizing the properties and not maintaining a home owner's insurance on them and the court assigned a trustee to manage them Lenny was living out of his car you made his jet and an airplane hangar ah and in hotel lobbies oh my god he eventually settled into a shitty apartment quote I was like a wanderer dude I was like Gandhi he lived out of a bag yeah by choice so that a point but also there's a point where you stop comparing yourself to the greats yeah

yeah and when you live in a hotel lobby yeah out of a bag yeah and washing your genitals in the sink oh pardon me for being Gandhi you know to a one point he snuck in like he how many times was he watching that real time or the real sports oh my god it's all he had was a videotape of that he just being a hotel lobby like anyway you guys could put that on and give me the remote actor sorry author Randall Lane who wrote the book quote the zeroes my misadventure in the decade Wall Street went insane described Lenny as a slow-motion car wreck he is the perfect metaphor for what happened to many people but he did it on a scale

that was monumental wow that's the guy I wrote the book about Wall Street it's true though I mean honestly like all this stuff you said it really like buying at the wrong time buying big everything selling being brash yes selling the car wash starting a magazine selling all the car washes to start a publication for the rich for the rich the Gretzky house was riddled with water damage torn up for flooring missing toilets and other major damage missing toilets is a weird thing happens that totally look if you need some boxes selling toilet where the four toilets huh I can get pranking a prank at 800 for this toilet so um I

need some steroids how much can I get for two toilets his second house also in the show of development was uninhabitable due to toxic mold according to papers filed in court one of the houses in question was in quote unshowable condition as the home was littered throughout with hemp empty beer bottles trash dog feces and urine and other unmentionables that ain't dog feces raw sewage had been leaking inside the house and the electrical wiring had been damaged or removed by vandals more than two dozen lawsuits were filed against Dijkstra with a list of more than 50 creditors among those litigants was

author Lane the former owner of double-town double-down media which produced the players club Lane attributes the glossy's failure in part to Lenny's unrestrained spending because it might have worked if he just started a tiny office and just see if it would perhaps yeah probably not probably not but it might perhaps as an example Lane cites a launch party for the players club that turned into a $600,000 party oh my god at the Mandarin Oriental Ballroom in New York attended by tennis star John McEnroe Donald Trump Kramer and other elites of the business and sports world imagine just how much you wish you

had that night back you know when you're in the shit when you're Gandhi oh what if I hadn't spent $600,000 on the release at 600 grand right now despite its bankruptcy he was seen soliciting still soliciting 995 year subscriptions to his newsletter at www.nailsinvestments.com wait so he's lost it all but he's got totally bankrupt right but he's still trying to get people but he subscribe to his now internet website all this can be yours you pooped in a pizza box so hey how much how much do you think you would pay for failure $1,000 a year in my nine part strategic plan Lenny you have puke on you listen make your boat look like

your bathroom it's all very simple turn your helicopter into a motorcycle nails claimed he had a record of better than 100 to zero and stock option calls well I think we might take issue with that it's a perfect record in June 2010 the court appointed federal trustee and Lenny's bankruptcy case charge had line under oath and properly hidden and sold assets and repeatedly acted in a fraudulent and deceitful manner during his ongoing bankruptcy case the items ranged from sports memorabilia to a $50,000 sink I mean I don't we could just leave that one at one point he sold a truckload of furnishing and fixtures

for cash at a consignment store according to a statement from the US attorney's office Lenny was sentenced to house arrest after the bankruptcy fraud indictment in 2010 Lenny was accused by ex porn actress Monica Foster that he hired for a night and then wrote her a bad check for a thousand dollars oh she later posted a photocopy of the bounce check on her blog quote he's a coward I know in his eyes he just screwed over a hooker and he thinks he can just treat people like crap because he was once a big name said Foster who starred in X-rated titles like not the Cosby's triple X and a flavor of lust

wait but Bill Cosby was and not the Cosby's right had to be some really Bill Cosby you like a little cocktail 2011 also who I don't know who's crazier yeah I don't know if the prostitute or the porn star taking the check is crazier yeah or a check a check a check but you also understand why she would be like he's not money I mean he isn't in a big house that's got shit all over the place still he's Gandhi 2011 was a big year for Lenny in January Lenny was accused of sexual assault by his housekeeper who alleged that he would force her to give him oral sex on Saturdays oh my god that is a little

too specific for me the woman told investigators she needed them the job and the money so she went along with his request rather than lose her job and returned to work in this in his home with knowledge obtained from the internet about a claim of sexual assault by another woman she's reading online that he sexually assault women she needs a job so bad that she will blow him on Saturday shitty job he's a monster the Saturdays things really throw me for a loop game day oh my god on May 2011 Doc Gooden got an unexpected visit from Lenny during Gooden stint on celebrity rehab as Gooden described that it was

around 10 o'clock and I was getting ready to go to bed and all of a sudden one of the guys behind the scene says Dijkstra's here wait at the actual rehab facility he's the he's the celebrity he's taping celebrity rehab and Lenny Dijkstra shows up yeah okay continue they tried to get Lenny to sign a waiver and he wouldn't do that it was all crazy Lenny was like doc you all right I don't like this I got your bags let's get out of here Gooden said he tried to calm Lenny down and convince him that he wasn't being hypnotized by the show's host Dr. Drew Pinsky

he just assumed that Doc Gooden was being hypnotized yeah Doc I got your bags let's go I haven't talked to you in 20 years don't look at the fucking coin let's get out of here he's a he's a therapist Lenny expressed concern about when he's about Dr. Pinsky when he's sneaked into Gooden's room on the set God I wish he signed that release I said quote everything is cool Lenny Gooden said Lenny eventually left without Gooden asked if Dijkstra had ever returned his bags Gooden laughed and said no it's just a bag I have a shit left all right doc well you seem like you got this under control okay so this is basically a

burglary see you later buddy all right it's called the slow pillie I'm back baby April 13th 2011 Lenny was arrested for investigation of Grand Theft Auto by Los Angeles police at his Encino home on suspicion of trying to buy a stolen car April 14th 2011 Lenny was arrested in charge of bankruptcy fraud it was reported that a week later Charlie Sheen paid 22,500 towards the $150,000 bail that was set for his old buddy nails wow she made a statement quote the rendition guilty trolls that kidnapped my dear friend nails clearly forgot that he's a fellow Vatican assassin and his

best pal is a warlock so this is sorry is there more Lenny had previously come to Sheen's aid hiring a top liar to negotiate the troubled actors returned a two-and-a-half man after he was fired right so this that exactly so this is when Charlie Sheen went fucking apeshit crazy well and was on drugs very clearly what this says is that Charlie and Lenny have been doing math yeah he's a fellow warlock who's a Vatican assassin June 2011 11 Lenny was arrested and charged with 25 misdemeanors and failing accounts of Grand Theft Auto identity theft filing false financial statements and possession of cocaine

ecstasy and steroids he first pled not guilty to all the charges but later his plea was reduced to no contest to Grand Theft Auto and providing false financial statements in exchange for dropping the auto for dropping the drug charges a year later after unsuccessfully trying to withdraw his no contest plea wow what the judge is like what just what I did I did it I didn't do it I didn't do it my god you should have never sold the car washes sir God sake he was sentenced to three years in state prison receiving nearly a year's credit for time already served in June 2011 Lenny appeared in federal bankruptcy

court and pled not guilty to 13 charges he was represented by a public defender and faced up to 80 years in prison if convicted of all charges relating to embezzlement obstruction of justice bankruptcy fraud making false statements to the bankruptcy court and concealing property from the bankruptcy court well in 2011 Lenny was charged with indecent exposure oh these are just sad sad crimes the Los Angeles City Attorney accused him of placing ads on Craiglist requesting a personal assistant or housekeeping services the victims alleged that when they arrived they were informed of the job also

required a massage service Lenny would then disrobe and expose himself oh my god John Travolta eat your heart out in 2012 in July 2012 Lenny pleaded guilty in federal court less than three years ago I know two three felonies one count each of bankruptcy fraud concealment of assets and money laundering he admitted to hiding selling or destroying over $400,000 worth of items that were supposed to be part of his bankruptcy filing on December 3rd 2012 he was sentenced to 6.5 months in prison 500 hours of community service in order to pay $200,000 in restitution fuck Lenny Dykstra nails to millions of baseball

fans was now inmate number 2766176 inside Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department men's central jail confined to his cell for 23 hours a day and by the way that's a fucking brutal jail I mean you do not want to be in LA County Sheriff's jail it's it's it's a jail where the the guards have been proven to have been basically gangs and they are torturing prisoners and beating prisoners it's every sheriff in LA County has to has to work in the LA County jail for three years they hate it they take it out on the prisoners it's just this abusive fucking nightmare well that's good that's his cell was

approximately eight by six block of stone with a toilet in a sink meals were passed beneath a steel door and thanks to years of chewing he couldn't even enjoy those as he only had three of his four teeth remaining in his mouth oh wait oh my god Lenny was released from prison in June 2013 and it turns out the while he was in prison his website nails investment was in operation the whole time apparently his accountant Dorothy Van Kalsbeek already knew his system and wrote his columns and picked his stocks with his oversight they consulted about the market and letters and during her visits to the prison he's currently

planning an autobiography that he hopes will become a movie yep in an interview with LA Times Lenny described the situation this way I've been fighting my whole life that's why I have a new theme song dude and I'm gonna play it for you oh god sweet god yes I wish I knew what the all regula lyrics I want to be a billionaire so bad buy all the things I never had I want to be on the cover Forbes magazine smiling next to Oprah and the Queen he sang loudly and off-key oh Lenny receives a $5,700 what do we know what song that is no it's a Trab Travis McCoy song sure okay Lenny now receives a $5,700 monthly pension from

Major League Baseball ah Jesus Christ I mean what a meteoric rise and fall holy shit wow that's a guy who that that's like one of the most spectacular fall six grand a month yeah I mean you still get six grand a month like but even then easy but you know he won't oh no you like anybody could live easily six grand easily easily yes he you know he won't well I mean he's got to hire the maids to blow him so that's gonna get the magazine you got to get after all that shit after all the sexual assault charges and I think I skipped a part where he was one of the employees that is at his car wash accused him of touching

her that she's a 17 year old oh my god so he he committed all these sexual crimes and he committed so much fraud that it's fucking insane he should be imprisoned for life compared to just sell drugs on a street corner yeah so much more damage yeah so much more damage and he's plotting a comeback well he's gonna have a comeback I honestly name one difference between his life and Gandhi's can't you can't right both a couple of dudes wandering around with a bag yeah you can't it's the same thing Gandhi also had his his his boat painted like his show yeah and he was he was a known fondler as Gandhi said I want my

foyer to look like my boat yeah he I remember he always said that I want to thank Danny Daniel Brendel for doing the research on that one well well done to him very nice yeah he did a really good job I believe he's Australian because I got I had a lot of mates in here and stuff and and I went oh no I gave an Australian guy a baseball story I felt bad about afterwards I didn't realize he was Australian maybe he's a fan now I'd be a fan after that poor guy to learn about baseball would you be a fan after that yeah after hearing about the Roob and Dyke come on Christ couple heroes this guy's the opposite here's the game he

seems like what he had the difference between him and the Roob would I would say would be a little more brainpower because I think if you let the Roob loose with a you know a regular human brain who knows what could happen sadly it was just the sirens by the way I haven't I haven't a denim to last last week's dollop which the Eric red okay so a friend of mine is a screenwriter was was a writing around that time and was also you know coming up so he's taking this is the guy who crashed into the who wrote the weird crash into the bar right so my friend said he listened the episode he goes he goes oh my god he was so I was

writing this I got I got paid to adapt this book and it was the worst book I'd ever read and it was so fucking hard to adapt and and I was like so depressed like it almost made him kill himself like he was right at the bottom trying to fucking adapt this book and it and every day he just it was like a nightmare getting out of bed like it just hell right and then when he finished the producers then gave the script to Eric red to write oh and Eric red was working on that script when he crashed oh get the fuck out of here so I think there's a curse script out it's like the ring holy shit that's insane you got to feel

good about yourself though if you didn't do it if you're like wow at least I adapted the dodged a bullet shit look I was thinking some crazy shit but holy shit all right anything else nope I'm good that's a story Lenny Dykstra hope everyone's happy with that