The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 59 - Colony Contrarian George Spencer

Episode Date: February 18, 2015

Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine George Spencer.SOURCES - Main - "The Trial of George Spencer" by Romeo Vitelli, Ph.D. - The JREF Swift BlogTOUR DATESREDBUBBLE MERCH

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The Dollop is an American History podcast. Each week I read a story from American History to my friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is about. That was just a noise. That was fun. I mean we'd like you know you like to do a little something before it goes and maybe that was a little mailed in but it's still we're having a conversation so it's organic. Gary. God do you want to look who to do? I'll do one buck. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gareth. Dave okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun?

And this is not going to come to tickle you quite good. Okay. You are queen faking of made-up town. All hail queen shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle and do what? Pray. Hi Gary. No. I miss you dad my friend. No. Gareth. Yes. Life in 17th century New England was hard enough for sermons. Cause a deflate gate. Right. Yeah. But George Spencer's physical appearance made it even harder. Oh Jesus. He lived in Boston and is described in historical accounts as ugly and balding. Okay. He also had but one eye for use. The other half a pearl in it is whitish and deformed. So he had a glass eye. Okay. And not a

good one. Yeah. No. It almost sounds like it's square. Yeah. It sounds like he had a fucking like just maybe a patch. Sounds like it might have been patch time. The eye gave him a sinister appearance. And if you had a sinister appearance in the 1640s you were basically a walking demon. So what are we three sentences deep? This guy's life is a walking nightmare. Spencer was also notorious for his use of profanity, vulgar behavior and generally being a habitual troublemaker. We're starting off dark. But his worst crime of all was being an open atheist. Oh wow. He only read the Bible when ordered to by his employer and he never prayed. Why

should I pray I've got one eye he said. Fair fucking point. He's got a point. Yeah. If you're walking around and you look like that people like thank God you're like nah. But despite being charged with various crimes the worst punishment he ever got looking in a mirror was a flogging for the crime of receiving stolen goods. Okay. It was this flogging that likely led to his moving to the New Haven colony in what is now known as Connecticut. All right. But George Spencer did not manage to keep out of trouble for long. Between his sinister appearance his atheism and his reputation for immoral behavior he had

difficulty keeping jobs for too long. Shocking. Although the immoral behavior that he engaged in was most described by crazy religious nuts who were his neighbors and fellow colonists. Right. He was probably maybe not that crazy. Probably not that bad. He doesn't believe in the clouds. He was regularly accused of various illegal and depraved sexual acts. Okay. And then in 1642 came the birth of the piglet. All right. So listen we've been doing this for a little while. Yes. Now I know we make clear that I have no idea what the topic's about. I just I just I know that when you say all these bad things and then came the

birth of the piglet after weird sexual I'm I'm nervous. You should be. The piglet belonged to one of Spencer's former employees. The piglet was described as being a prodigious monster with only one eye. When some who viewed the piglet commented on how much it resembled George Spencer the accusations began. Oh God. George Spencer they said had obviously been having sex with a pig. Oh my God. Look at the pig. It's fucking George. It's only got one eye. He's got one eye. He's been fucking it. Fucked it. He fucked it. Now he's got a little baby of his own. Now sex between humans and animals has always been

illegal in most places. But what made it a big deal in places like New Haven Colony was the hell belief that such a crime against nature could produce bizarre hybrids with human and animal traits. Though no actual cases of such hybrids were ever reported enough examples of deformed livestock and children happen to keep the rumors alive. People accused of bestiality were prosecuted just as harshly as witches and the animals believed to be tainted by the crime were executed. Well we all know the witch treatment was not solid so George Spencer was accused of fathering the one eyed piglet after having sex

with one of his former employees pigs. Yeah that's very sounds a little unfair. As far as his Puritan accuses were concerned the piglet's deformity was deemed as an act of God to reveal George's crime. Well obviously God made the piglet. Well look I mean he doesn't believe in God. God gave a one eyed pig because he's been fucking pigs. Hello. Yeah. One plus one is two. Hello. Though there was no evidence besides the piglet in question George was thrown into prison. Of course I mean there was a pig with one eye. What more do you need to hear? Exhibit everything. The other eye looks like his good eye. Exactly. George

Spencer insisted repeatedly that he was innocent. I haven't fucked a pig. Look he's winking he's lying. No it's I haven't fucked a pig. Look at his eyes lying. Christ. A local magistrate then told them that he would be treated mercifully if he confessed to the crime. Ah. Seeing how harshly other prisoners were treated George. Oh no. No. He has to say he pig fucked. George eventually confessed because he thought that would keep him from being executed for pig hunting. Yeah. Oh fuck the pig. All right. All right. So yeah. I fucked a pig. Lots of times and I love my pig son. And now it's my boy. It's my boy. George Jr. Little George.

Little Piggy. Yeah. So I did that and it was nice. Yeah. Lovely. Yeah. Oh I think about it sometimes I do. Being inside it but I love it. Little Piggy. Oh. Sorry he's his confession too. Sorry how long do you want this? I got graphic. Apologies. He quickly discovered that that was not the case and retracted his confession insisting that he only confessed to please the magistrate. George remained in prison. Look you're pig fucked if you do you're pig fucked if you don't. Then other magistrates visited him in prison all with the same message. Confess. Look just say you fuck the pig. Look here's the deal if he just say you fuck the pig

we'll let you go. I said I fuck the pig and you beat me. What's that? I said I fucked the pig and I was beaten. Right but this time it'll be okay. Fuck it. Yeah. I had sex with the pig and that one out pig is my boy. Cut off his head. Fuck. Finally he was persuaded to confess once more. He also confessed to lying being openly contemptuous of the colony's laws and profanning the Lord's Day which he reportedly called the ladies day. This guy's great. This guy's great. I mean this guy's like the hero of the New Haven colony. Yeah. He didn't even fuck pigs. He's just walking around fucking with everybody. Yeah. It's fucking fantastic. Yeah. It's

fucking amazing. George had his limits though and flatly denied engaging in homosexual acts with other colonists or the local native tribes. I mean that it really is alright. I fucked the pig but I didn't fuck any gents. You fucked pigs but you can't fuck guys. And I didn't fucking Indians. Alright. Well alright. You know how the hierarchy goes. What's that? Beastiality. Gay sex. What? Native American sex. I mean Indian. Yeah. Well okay. So you fucked the pig. Yeah. But you're not gay. No sir. And I don't like Indians. I do not. Just a common pig fucker. Alright. Alright. As long as you know your line. When George finally came to trial his confessions were used

against him as evidence even though he had retracted them all under oath. There were still no witnesses to the alleged pig sex. Except for the pig. This was a problem for the prosecution because New Haven colonies demanded two witnesses for any capital crime. Okay. Now think about that. Yeah. So that means if you murder a guy in front of just one other guy you. That's it. You're fine. You're totally cool. And if you commit sodomy the two people have to watch you fuck that guy. Well you could be the guy you fucked. And if you fuck a pig. You just need a friend. If you fuck a pig you need to have two humans present. Or yeah a couple

of guys watching. Yep. Which is normal. Totally normal. Who wouldn't feel comfortable fucking a pig in front of a couple of days. Well I bought the tickets. Yeah. Excuse me. So in this case the judges solve the witness problem by using George's confessions to name him as one of the witnesses. That's bullshit. And the other witness. No. No. No. No. No. No. Dave. What. Was the deform pig. Shut the fuck. I mean. What is this. Is this animal court. Is this like a Disney show. Is Eddie Murphy says the judge in this movie. A pig. Yeah. You call a pig as a witness. Yeah. Well he's deformed so they just went look at him. And that was his witness testimony. He's

got one eye. Put your hoof on the Bible. Come on. Where's your other hoof. Do you not understand anything that I'm saying right now. So help your God. Okay. I'm going to ask you a question. If it's an affirmative you blink with one eye. Daddy fuck you up. Guilty. Guilty. After the judge declared himself abundantly satisfied with the judge. Good judge. George Spencer was found guilty of violating Leviticus 2015. I.E. quote if a man has sexual relations with an animal he is to be put to death and you must kill the animal. George continued to protest his innocence and said there was no real evidence against him mostly because there

was no real evidence against him. He was sentenced to death on April 8 1642 the piglet was killed with a sword while George was hanged. Jesus Christ. He was the first white settler to be executed in Connecticut. Cases of zoophilia continue to be prosecuted throughout New England but only one other incident involved the birth of a deformed animal. Oh no. That was the trial of Thomas Hogg. Oh. Do you want to say it. Well is Hogg his last. His name's Hogg he's got to be a pig fucker. That's why. It occurred five years after George Spencer was executed. Thomas was a servant who was charged with molesting a sow belonging to his

employer. In Hogg's case he was charged following the birth of a piglet that had quote a fair and white skinned and head as Thomas Hogg's is. So. Yeah. We're. The is is one of the main pieces of evidence that his last name's Hogg. Well the main piece of evidence is that it had a flesh similar to his that it had a skin. It had white clothes. It had white skin. It was fair like he was like a fair guy fair skin guy and then the pig was also pretty fair skinned. Okay. So it's just that's a matter of. Yeah. Okay. Well clearly if that's if the colors match then the fucking happened. Right. Okay. That's normal. His his his girlfriend is one of

tournament. Of course because she saw the resemblance. Yeah. She was like look at that. He was like yeah I know it's a really white pig. She was like I knew it. While Hogg denied the charge his previous convictions for indecent exposure worked against him. Well. I love that that's not a really bad crime. Yeah. No. Yeah. No. Not at all. Like just walking around showing people your dick. Yeah. In Puritan America is no big deal. Nope. But when a pig shows up it's got fair skin. Well the time to dodge the book asshole it's getting thrown your way. Yeah. While Hogg denied the charge his previous convictions for indecent

exposure worked against him after being in prison for buggery and exposure the court decided to investigate the charge of sexing up a pig. Taking Hogg to his employer's barnyard he was instructed to fondle several of the sows including the one he had allegedly molested. What. What do you mean what. Gathering evidence. We need to take it out of the courtroom for a little while and have you jack off some pigs. All right. Now go finger that one. Okay. Have a little rub on that one there. All right. Now put your tongue in that one snout a little. There we go. Now go ahead. You want to fuck that one. Hey you want to go ahead and put it in there.

Suck its curly tail till it's hard. There we go. Where's that snout going young man. Excuse me. How many more of these pigs do I need to fondle and try to fuck. I'm almost done. You're almost done with what. Don't worry about it. Oh god damn it. According to official records. I mean official sow molestation records official according to official records the other sows ignored him while the sound question showed a quote working of lust which was so extreme that quote she powered out seed before them. So he made a pig come in front of him. I guess but it says she but but I mean if

I mean it's an upsetting line no matter how you made a lady pig come. It sounds like he made a lady pig come. How he must have been. Well you gotta follow you gotta follow court orders. Keep going. I think she's almost finished. I think she's coming. Hog was later sentenced to be whipped and imprisoned for quote filthiness lying and pilfering but the bestiality charge was dropped due to insufficient evidence. Good bestiality continued to be prosecuted though it was stopped to be stopped being a capital crime by the end of the 17th century. The last major case case in New England in 1681 led to the accused being convicted of quote vile abominable and presumptuous attempts

to buggery with a mare. The man was whipped forced to sit on the gallows with the rope around his neck branded in the forehead with the letter P for pollution. Wow on the head and banished from the colony where he lived at the forehead. He had a giant P branded on his forehead. For the most part bestiality cases were prosecuted more harshly than sodomy offenses during that period. So I mean yeah so being so fucking animals. Yeah worse than fucking a gentleman. I mean I get that. I get that. The animal can't consent. A dude can consent. I don't know. I mean you've been to the pound. Despite the harshness surrounding bestiality convictions there were no more cases using

deformed animals as evidence of guilt as more scientific views. So they needed actually more evidence than just like you look like that animal you're its dad. As more scientific evidence more scientific views of hereditary became accepted the decline of religious fervor in New England also saw a drop in bestiality convictions due to the difficulty in proving the charges. Right. What's a pig say. Nothing he's a fucking pig. You're guilty. So Jesus Christ. So that was a time when you just needed to resemble an animal and you that would be the poor guy. He was already fucking the first guy. He already has one eye and then a fucking pig comes out with one eye and then he gets accused of pit fucking and killed. How about the guy who

was to go to a farm and finger a pig. How about that. The guy who's just like I didn't do anything like that. They're again creating the crime to prosecute the crime. Well in order to find out if you fuck this sheep put your cock in the sheep and let's see how it takes it. Oh it looks like it likes it. You guys have some sort of connection we knew. Oh fuck. So they did not ever want to travel back in time. I mean first of all the smells. Second of all you can't slip up even a fucking little bit. Not even a tiny bit. If the idea that you could just look like an animal and that's well let's face it. They killed them for being an atheist. Yeah. At the end of the day that's why they killed them. Right. For being an atheist. Yeah. I mean they made some shit up

along the way. But why in this time you could have so easily just be like if you don't believe in God we put you to death. Yeah they could have done that. Why do you have to go the length of being like you fucked a pig. Because they needed God to give him a sign. One eyed pig is a sign as far as I'm concerned. I'll tell you the more I hear about this God the crazier this motherfucker sounds. He just sounds like a lunatic. He just he's created us and then he's just judging everything. And by the way he's picking sporting events too on the side. He's doing all this stuff and then on the side he's also rooting for certain certain football and soccer teams. He's very busy. Yeah like I had no idea he was a big fan of Real Madrid

and the Seattle Seahawks but it turns out he loves him. He on Sundays and weekends he's just like the rest of us. He takes a little him time. During the week though he's all about finding pig fuckers. During the week though yeah there's a pig that resembles you. Yeah. Listen well normal all normal all normal stuff again super normal. All right. Congratulations everybody. Thanks Dave.