The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 605 - The Toledo War

Episode Date: October 24, 2023

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine The Toledo War.  Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources   Helix Sleep  Code: HELIXPARTNER20.  

This week the dollop is brought to you by comedy gives back they support mental health services crisis support chemical dependency treatment and more Give you can text laugh to 70 70 70 or visit comedy gives back calm and donate today Permission to treat the co-host as hostile great and we start Permission to treat the co-host as hostile grand as your start. Not only start.

Not only start. Not only start. Not only start. Not only start. Not only start. Not only start. Not only start. Not only start. Not only start.

Not only start. Not only start. Not only start. Not only start. Not only start. Not only start. Not only start. Not only start.

Not only start. Not only start. Not only start. Not only start. Not only start. Not only start. Not only start. and it's a lovely little face who has no idea what the topic is gonna be about. Smile. And if you wanna see this smile on this cute little punum, thank you. You can join our Patreon.

We have a Patreon. There's tons of shit. If you wanna see what it's like to go on tour with the dollop, it's a nightmare. It's an absolute hell see what it's like to go on tour with the dollop, it's a nightmare It's an absolute hell, but we are revealing it all on our characters. Yeah, we've got a new character We can go to join our patreon and it's a lot of fun and we do other shit Which new character? Well, we look up picked up to series Look up picked up to series

There's definitely a little bit of heat around the my pony character. No, there's not. There's a lot of heat around that one. No, a lot of sex appeal. Nope. Jesus, my cat. And I just, what's going on with your cat?

Can you hear him? Yeah, I heard him. Yeah, he's really excited about Halloween. Something's inside of Halloween. Nope. I think he is. That has been sending me costume ideas for 24 hours, pictures, inundating. And it turns out there's a lot of cat costumes.

That's what we're learning. Yeah. Do you have a favorite of those? The ones you sent me, I'm not going to do any of them, like I said, but one of the ones you sent me, I'm not gonna do any of them, like I said, but one of the ones you sent me, I already have done. Matching pumpkin heads, we did that. We did that during 2020. But the best one is clearly Super Mario.

That's the one. I think that's all we're gonna do. I might buy that for you. We save your money. We, the three of us, are dressing up like trigger treating. You are not coming anywhere near my cat. Yeah, me, you and Jose.

Absolutely not. Nope. Yeah, it's going to be good. Nope. We all stop. We'll trigger treat. Parking. Meow.

And called it quote is jam pat. Jam pat? I'm the fucking hippo guy. Dave okay. My name's Gary. My name's Gary. Meow. And called it quote, is jam-past. Jam-pap? I'm the fucking hippo guy! Save okay. My name's Gary. My name's Gary. Is it far-fine? And this is not going to come to tickley podcast.

Okay. This is like an unaphyve part of the fish. Come on, Ronald! Now hit him with the puppy. You both present sick arguments. No, sleep down hippo. That's like that hip hop. Actually, hard.

I can't be. No. I see it done, my friend. No, sleep, don't. That's not about hip-hop. Actually, Hort. I can't. No. I see, Dad, my friend. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We are brought to you by Helix Sleep. I was just bragging about my Helix the other day. You were. Yes, saying it is a phenomenal bed. Helix is unbelievable. Such a good bed.

I wonder if people like the Trump or if it's now, if it's giving them anxiety again. Maybe there is a better going direction to Biden, man. Okay, you're going to do Biden? Yeah, maybe maybe I, come on guys, we're just going to let I've been sleeping in a heel, it's bad for about a seven or eight years, man, come on. Are you going to do Biden?

Yeah, man, come on, gang. I, well, the last time I blinkeded I liked it so much I kept him close. He likes sleep. It is a mattress company. Sometimes they give you pillows. We have both been using Heelick Sleeper while we have one bed that we shift back and forth between our houses. We both love it. We both love it.

I like the smell of Garth Leaves. On the mattress, I've had my mattress for years now. Seven years is something my sleep is much better than before. My son loves the mattress so much that we gave him ours and bought a new one. That's how much. Well, I'm still asleep. I'm sorry, everybody. Listening. You take a helic sleep quiz, you go to their website, you take a quiz, takes like two minutes, and then they match up with the right mattress for you, soft medium firm.

You sleep on your side, you're back, you're stomach, you move around a lot. I obviously sleep on my hair, and so I got the desk lux and I sleep sweet. Don't I sleep in a king, it's me tapped. Mattress comes to your house in a box. You open it up, it comes to life. And it's alive and then you sleep on it.

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pills for our listeners. Go to helix sleep.com slash dollop on use code helix partner 20 This is their best offer yet and it won't last long with helix better sleep starts now I apologize And as I said before this week we are highlighting the charity Comedy gives back it is devoted to creating a the charity comedy gives back. It is devoted to creating a safety net

for comedians in need. Comedy gives back as help comedians pay for rent, medical and dentubils, car payments, a wheelchair, covered insurance premium since the beginning in 2002. During the pandemic, comedy gives back, created an emergency relief fund giving over 1,000 grants to comedians in need. Follow at comedy gives back, or just do more give.

Give a little bit. Text, laugh to 70, 70, 70. That's laugh to 70, 70, 70. Or if you wanna donate, you can go to comedygivesback.com. Donate to comedygivesback.com today andate to comedygivesback.com today and support the safety net for the comedy community. Real quick, shut up. Real quick, Dave.

November 4th at 7 p.m. I'll be at Namba in Ventura. I don't believe that for a second. Sounds like a real place to me. 47 Oak Street. Namba. Is that my downtown Ventura? Bro, it's Namba, back off. Yeah, go to garrithrunnons.com for dates.

I got some, I'll be in Australia. And then I got some, then November, I'll be in Australia. And then December, I got a couple dates and then I'm adding a bunch of dates to the spring. This is a one of our, it was not recorded well at the venues, so we're redoing it. People are probably like, boy, you have a lot of those. And to them we say, yes we do. Yes we do.

Yes we do. Yes we do. If only you knew how, which sit down, I'm going me go, don't do this, do this, don't do that, and then they do all this stuff we told them not to do. And we'll have like a great show, we'll be like, yes. And then the next day, David will be like, it's unusable, and I'll be like, God damn it. But that's a testament to why you should come see it live. It could be a one off.

True. July 13th, 1787, year of our Lord, J-town. Congress legislated, Congress, the Northwest ordinance, Congress of America, like you said, the Northwest Ornans, which called for the creation of three to five states in the Northwest, and it established the ordinance line. So it is a line draw, do West East from the most southerly tip of Lake Michigan across Tulayk, Eerie, right? So it's a line. But here's the big problem

with that line. The map they used to draw the line wasn't accurate. I guess this is another one of those things I just never would have thought about. So they now are like, how do we do the right line? Well, it essentially puts Lake Michigan's southern bend further to the north. Okay. and bend further to the north. So, this led to Toledo and the Mommy River mouth being placed in Ohio instead of Michigan. So we've talked a little bit about, this is the Toledo issue. Yeah, this is the Toledo issue. I vaguely remember this, right?

Okay. So they've, so naturally they use an inaccurate map. Right. Why would you check the map before you do this? You just draw the line. Now that's one of those things you could just kind of figure out later. You fix it a post. That's what we've always said about topography and all that is you figure it out post.

Don't worry about it. Yeah, you draw the line. And once you got the line, you're good to go. And it doesn't matter. You know what I mean. Yeah. So in 1794, many of the Native Americans who had this crazy idea that they lived

where they lived forever, they were defeated by General Mad Anthony Wayne. It's a good name for you, mad Anthony. Now, isn't this also, it didn't they also like, they kept saying like, all right, you get this part of the country or this area to Native Americans and then kept being like, so we need it.

Well, I know we gave that to you, but now we found out that there's so for under there. We need that sorry have you heard of oaklahoma we have bad and it might have good news bad news good news we are spreading bad news you are good enough to know what about what you're going to be less time or yeah um... i mean basically yes so

mad at the way was called uh... Matt because rather than being a good strategy guy, he was reckless and pulse of bad temper and overly aggressive. Naturally, Teddy Roosevelt would call him our greatest general. Who we just did the craziest story about. Yeah, which just went up. That's up. That was last one, right? Yeah.

So the Mad Wayne victory allows for more migration of what we call good white people. That's what they were called. Good white people. The chosen people who, oopsie, sorry about all this. We ruined it all. Don't this is so funny because in the hands of the essentially white governments, now we're like, ladies and gentlemen, relax. We're gonna drink the oceans. It's like what your planning seems pretty bad.

So so they go to Ohio. Oh, Ohio, that's what that's what this leads to more more white people in Ohio and in 1802. Ohio petitions for statehood. So a territory. I know how that ends. They got. Yeah.

Yeah. You're smart. People well, we've done this on before. So I'm remembering some of it. people well we've done this on before so i'm remembering some of it a territory could apply to become a state once it had sixty thousand free inhabitants uh... obviously native americans did not count as they're not free inhabitants and

it would be it would then have the same rights as existing states, like representatives and senators and Congress and getting federal funds, so to create their state boundaries, Ohio uses the ordinance line that had been drawn in 1787. Right. Often enough. So we've got two lines. This is a two liner. This is a two liner.

This is the same line. They're going with the line that was wrong. They're like, let's go with that one. Okay. But they added a perviso. It said, if the line was actually south, it should be redrawn to the north of the river mouth. Who said that?

This is part of the Ohio creating their state boundaries. Right. So they're like a little more, be fine. Yeah. Well, that shouldn't be that way. Yeah, right. So we're using this line, which is probably accurate, but if it's not, then we should still get

to keep that part, like they're right there and they're lying cherry picking. Yeah. Now Ohio has been tipped off during their constitutional convention, quote, a beaver trapper appeared has been tipped off during their constitutional convention. Quote, a beaver trapper appeared out of the soggy and uninhabitable. Hello.

It appeared. I am from two weeks in the future. I have peabas. Hello. Yes, yeah, that's probably not gonna solve this problem, Dan. So please just. Oh, oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, He's pretty, uh, oh, he's gone. Uh, I'm the same guy. I'm over here now. I'm like a beaver genie.

Not a pimp. What? Huh? Oh, you guys don't have that term yet. No. No. No. Okay. Oh, you guys don't have that term yet. No. No. No. Pfff. Okay.

Pfff. Oh, Jesus Christ. Just stay or die. I got it. I have another beaver now. So I thought I should show that off. Look at this extra one. Do you guys...

What do you guys need? What's the problem you're solving? Talk to me. Okay, I don't want the beaver to be... What's the problem? Tell me what's going on. No, we don't want to be very angry. What's the problem? Tell me what's going on. No, we don't have any problem. Everything's fine. No, you're dead. There's a big meeting of whites.

Something's going on. What is it? Talk to me. Talk to me. No, we're fine. Thanks. All right, fine. Bye. Jesus Christ, what's with that guy? I don't know, and I don't care. I don't want to hear any more. Let's work on the problems we're solving. Okay. I don't want to hear any. Well, let's work on the problems we're solving. Okay. I was listening. There are problems. Hmm.

Want to be a. No. Okay. Does it magic? No. I know I said it was earlier. Well, I then I don't want one. No, it's not. We all have beavers. Well, then I don't want one. No, it's not. We all have beavers. Are you here or not? I think I'm gone now. Pfft! A beaver trapper appeared out of the soggy

and uninhabitable swamps to advise that Lake Michigan went a good deal further south than anyone thought. I love that he comes out like the creature from the Black lagoon like. It actually goes quite a bit further boys. Actually says so you okay? I mean, if you have, like if a beaver chopper rolls in

and he's in a suit, you're not gonna believe him, but if he's soggy and gross, oh, just covered in like a lot of stuff. Then you're not gonna believe him, but if he's soggy and gross, just covered in lots of... Then you're like, this guy's the real deal. Ha! Ha! He's the beaver trapper you want. It goes way further!

Yeah, listen to this guy, look at him! Ha! Just covered in beaver guts. Beaver guts, beaver guts! He's the real deal! No, look at him. Ah! Just covered in beaver guts. Beaver guts. He's the little guy. He's the little guy. Knowing Adam. Ah!

Ah! So by adding this perviso, Toledo and the Mommy River mouth, which was essential for Great Lakes trade. Why is it called Mommy? It's just a river, I don't know. M-A-U-M-E. Animal-E. Okay. Mau-Me, maybe Mau-Me.

Okay. Mau-Me. Sure. Mau-Me. Don't. I can't understand what's funny, as I knew that was coming. Mau-Me, Mau-Me.

Mau-Me, River. Mau-Me, Mau-Me. It's essential for a great-lakes trade that they need that. So it would be part of Ohio when the true geography is finally acknowledged. That's right. So in 1803 Ohio becomes a state officially.

And the proviso is not mentioned or really noticed by anyone. Most Toledo citizens think they live in Michigan. Wow. What? And militia Michigan thinks that Toledo militia, militia, militia thinks that Toledo is in Michigan also. Man. Quote, Michigan had been governing the territory. The residents had been voting in Michigan elections

and the residents for the most part considered themselves part of Michigan. Jesus. But now they're in Ohio. It's weird. It's like finding out, it's like one of those situations where you find out your mom You know your mom's your grandma and your sister's your mom

Wait, who that happened to Jack Nicholson And my brother For real dead So When Indiana becomes a state, the ordinance line was redrawn by a surveyor named Harris. He was a former governor of Ohio, so he put Toledo in Ohio. And that it needed to get redrawn because Ohio's join it because Ohio is becoming a state and they're like they can't know because because Indiana is also part of that border. So they're now they're drawing it. Right, but it's already drawn. So he's redrawing it.

Yeah, essentially, he's being redrawn. Right. But just because we drawn it's already drawn so he's redrawing it. Yeah, essentially, he's being redrawn, right. But just because we're drawn, it's redrawn, but people don't believe that's where it is. Right. I'm sure these are invisible lines. Yes. You'll find there's a better precariousness with all of our invisible lines. You'll find that a lot of people who are on the left like me say that borders are bullshit. Anywho.

So he puts Toledo in Ohio, which upsets Michigan. Sure. When Illinois was admitted to the Union in 1818, President Monroe sent another surveyor out. His name is Fulton. And he surveys and he puts the line south of Toledo, which means Toledo. It's in Michigan. Oh, in Michigan. No, it's in Michigan. So the Harris line says Toledo is in Ohio and the fault in line says it's in Michigan. Well, surely we just pick a line. Uh-huh.

And go with it. Also who wants Toledo? That is so true. That is so true. This is like, that would be like, that would be like wanting Buffalo. It's like, yeah, yeah, it's like fighting over Elon Musk as a child So between the two lines is a strip and the strip is five miles wide at the Indiana border and eight miles wide at Lake Erie So right so just it's it's like a weird. Yeah, it's a zone a weird zone a no a no zone and then Canada's like that's mine but we want that So this is basically no man's land

God it would be great to live there. Yeah, just be like we ain't got a home nothing we don't exist So for like 25 years no one Really it's not a thing. No one talks about it. It's not brought up. It's just kind of ignored. That'll tell you who has a trouble like a pro as the mailman.

He's like, he's has a very hard time. Who very, oh my God. Steven's Thomas Mason was born in Leesburg, Virginia. Family are all politicians. His great grandfather was Chief Justice of Virginia Supreme Court. His great-great-great-uncle was at the Constitutional Convention. His grandfather and uncle were both senators from Virginia, so he's born into it, right? We should bring... there's so many cons. We should bring back the Constitutional Convention.

Just... no. Okay. I mean, mean we should yeah, but not right now. Let's wait. Okay. We have some problems. I'm worried about what that would be. But I can't you can do hot con and we can dress up like our favorite justice is and you know, oh my god, that's what you can dress up Joseas for Halloween. No, not the pitch for after.

Okay. say that's for Halloween. No, not the pitch for after. OK. Now, Steven's father, John Thomas Mason, didn't really live up to the family expectations. He's described as having, quote, at least 11 children. OK. What's wrong with that? That's his own Supreme Court. He had his Supreme Court of his own.

It's a vague way to talk about how many kids you've had. It's very non-specific. Yeah. At least. Yeah, right. It's a guesstimate. Only three died as babies that we know of. Nice.

So when Stevens Thomas Mason is won, John Mason moves the family to Kentucky because he wants to make his own way and make a fortune. But everything, all his businesses fail. He's a disaster. Sure. And by the 1820s, they're broke. Even though he's a business failure, he is appointed to be a US Marshal in 1817 by President Monroe. How like how we do that? Yeah, I mean nothing's changed there. Nope

He was able to get it using his family connections in 1830 He is named he's just failing up. He's named Secretary of the Michigan territory and superintendent of the Indian affairs by President Jackson. Okay. It seems like he's right for that job. I don't know very much, but it seems like it's been earned. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, he worked hard. So John Thomas with his son, just you know, John Thomas in England is a euphemism for penis. Go ahead. I know. I'm more. So John Thomas. You know, also in England, they don't cut the dips.

The dick off. Top of it. They cut the dick off here in America. The top of it. Right at the base. Nope. That's a bad. Right at the base.

Got a bad boil. That would be amazing. Brist to go to. There you go. Just sir. that would be amazing brist to go do there you go just sir what what are you I took it out just above the

root it won't grow back now haha haha so john Thomas and his son Fanny. So we've got just to be clear, we've got penis and Fanny. Okay, cool. Go ahead.

That's it. So John Thomas and his son, Steven's Travel to Michigan and the capital to trite. And John Thomas, John Mason doesn't last long in the role. Jackson sent him on a mission in Mexico. He ends up in Texas where he gets into banking and the Texas revolution. So Steven stays behind, right? He is considered a much more shrewd political mind

than his dad. And territorial governor, Lewis Cass, likes Stevens and suggests to President Jackson that Stevens should take over his father's post, a secretary of state. He's 19, by the way. Oh, God. It's not good. It doesn't even matter what time period you're in, you're 19.

You're... Yeah, 19 is still, yes. No. It's a bad... No, nothing. Go over there and hit on, try to have sex. That's all. You're talking to me, right?

Yeah. so he's old enough to vote but being suggested he's not old enough to vote I mean he's not old he cannot vote at 19 but he's being suggested to be the secretary of Michigan I think it's 21 at that point interesting so Lewis Cass became Jackson interesting. So Lewis Caspi came Jackson Secretary of War and leaves for DC and teenage Stevens Mason's is now acting territorial governor. Wow. He's 19 by the way. I imagine that right. Yeah, no reason to be doing this. Well, just because he's Just because these can hey hey This is ours Are you gonna yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it. Yeah, well, as you question, where you can say, go ahead to the top. Three, two, go, hurry.

Well, we're just gonna say, now that you're the governor. Yeah, exactly, I am. So just to everyone, chill, go ahead, what, yeah. Are there any policies you want to- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. There's a bunch of them. I got a whole list of them right here

that I'm looking at. Not gonna show it to you, but's a bunch of them. I got a whole list of them right here, but I'm looking at. Not gonna show it to you, but they're all on here. Well, I mean, yeah, I was gonna need you. Well, I'm living in one Friday, a month. We need you to lead us as far as what your visions are for. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're gonna have a bunch of, bench, we need more bench, we'll have a bunch more benches, and a fight in the war on air.

No more, unless you need it. Need, we're gonna cut the air budget into quarters, halves. About half it, not half it, half. Now we're gonna, no more utensils at supper, supper's a hand meal. Unless it's a, yeah, no, or else you need a fork. You can, but there's a fork tax. We can make a bunch of money off of the fork.

Yep, no more, yeah, so that's, and there's a lot more, but that's that's a good start should have more ribbon cuttings So we're gonna have a big ribbon budget Look at it get a a lot of ladies up here too Grape feeders what women with grapes? Yeah That'll drop them in my mouth Yeah, wait, I won't be using a fork. I'm not a hypocrite.

Do you want to go away? I'd like to be alone. That's what the question is. Yeah. Yeah. I just got to put some stuff down on the paper paper paper Oh shit, I think my pants What? Huh? Yeah, everyone needs to go Quickly, I've spilled ink Thank you for your... I spilled personal ink

Time That's action Yeah, go get the fuck out Okay The Jesus, we're fucked That was a nightmare and I did shit my pants So He's the he's the guppah Jackson

Does appoint a new governor after a little while though, George Brian Porter, but he had some business interests in the East and he was really not in Detroit very much. Quote, when he did visit, Porter showed extraordinarily poor timing in particular, arriving in the middle of a cholera epidemic. A disease which soon led to his death oh no oh shit so at that point Jackson's like okay Mason is the official official territorial governor so he's 23 yeah so now he's 23 he's officially the

governor well now he knows what he's doing he's officially the governor. Well now he knows what he's doing He's got four years under his belt. Yeah, he was called the boy governor In 1832 Michigan narrowly votes to join the Union, but Congress said they couldn't become a state Until the territory dispute is resolved Okay, so you're applying for this what are you you're the territory dispute is resolved. Okay, so you're applying for this. What are you, you're the territory and then you become a state? Yes.

Okay. So, Congress commissions a third surveyor to confirm the line. The Talcott line is what that is and it matches the fault line and it says Toledo is in Michigan. Okay, so we've got it. We've got two in Michigan, one non-Mission. This is like the 2000 election but a territory.

Yeah. But Toledo is the price instead of the president. Right, so nobody actually Right, it's a anti-price now Michigan Had been turned down for statehood so it had no voting power influence in Washington at this point and Then there's money, right so this private interest in Ohio and in Indiana and

they start this huge canal digging project called the Wabash and Erie Canal and The canal is going to end in Toledo Okay, so they're sort of trying to create like a Finger sort of like that's a bit, ours a little bit. Well, if you're in Ohio and you're going to spend money on a canal and in Toledo, then you for sure want Toledo to be part of Ohio or else why would you spend that money? Well, yeah, it's definitely like you're, yeah, you're courting, you're courting Toledo

with a body of water. You're like, yeah. Huh? Look at all this stuff coming your way. So all these capitalists have bought land around the Toledo area and they're just assuming it would become like the central hub of the area. It's where the canal's going to end. At this point, people think Toledo is going to be much more powerful

and a bigger city than Chicago or Detroit. And history has told us it is. That's absolutely. That's the biggest. The only reason people know Toledo is because it was the favorite baseball team of a character on Mash. I think that's the only reason anybody ever knew to. I know it is the Windier City. Because it's just a little bit of a challenge. There's a character on Mash that always talks about his the Teleto Mudhands.

It's boring. Yeah, I don't know. And that show had maybe a year and a half of good TV. And then it became the worst show on television. So it's a lot like the Vietnam War. It wasn't about the Vietnam War. What was it? Korean? Yeah. What year was it? Did you never, did you never see Mash the movie? No, I've never, I've had no associate, they only mash I have as potatoes. You, everybody should watch Mash the Movie.

It's a real world. It's good to see, Mash is one of those shows for me that was done when I was born and it would still sometimes be on, and I just hated the look of it. So I never, I was like, no. Sure, I get that. This is like, yeah.

It goes, the look of it. So I never, I was like, no. Sure. I get that. Yeah. It goes. It goes. The movie's good. But the show is really good for like a year or so. And then it just goes so off the rails. It's just preachy. And yeah, it's like crazy. So, okay, where are we now?

I was talking about Toledo. Toledo is the hub people but plan they think it's a big and chicago and troid so investors rally around ohio and one ohio congressman said michigan would always be a quote third or fourth rate power because of its train and sparse population so there's no point in the discussing the boundary it should should be in Ohio because Michigan is fucking shit.

It's remarkable to me how early this sort of like, where the best state. Yeah, start right away. It starts before you're a state. Yeah. Yeah. Look at this garbage up here. And the whole idea was like a United States,

but it's never like, fuck you. Yeah, pretty much. So when Stevens officially became territorial governor in July 1834, he was determined to get Michigan into the union. So he tries to get Congress to drop the requirement of giving up Toledo. Uh-huh.

So he wants Toledo included in his statehood. Yes. Right. And Michigan he thinks has around 60,000 people, so it should become a state. And then after he takes the border issue to this Supreme Court to try to even know if you have 60,000. I Think it's the kind of guesstimating. I think I don't think they're doing a sense. Yeah, we got him. Yeah, we got 60 You promise you really yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're doing head we're doing head counts and a lot I promise we're doing yes

Where there's a lot of counting. Everyone's counting. We're all counting. Where to God, you have 60,000. And double counting. We have guys double. We got to backup counters. We got all kinds of counting.

And they're counting 60,000 for sure. Yeah, they're, yeah. Well, yeah, maybe more. Maybe more. Nobody's losing. How are you keeping the guys just counting on his hands? Or was he able to look work? We're completely on top of this like we got that we got we got the 60 lock down

We know where all the cities are we got them all everything's good. We know everything is See it's a really tough time because we can't Corroborate that so and you just have the disposition of a liar Oh, no, I'm a straight. I think I'm a straight shooter. That's my nickname. What's your full name? It's Frank SS feels like you're lying on I mean feels like you're Frank Essence Frank SS Jackson Minium

So the second part of your name is like a Boat Jack Jack Jackson Minium So the second part of your name is like a boat. Jack Jackson, Jack's a minimum. Sorry. Yep. You said your name was Frank. Frank. SS, Jackson, Minium.

Frank, Frank, SS, Jackson, Minium. Yeah. I mean, it just feels like. Straight shooter. Straight shooter is this. It's pretty. We just have no way. It's not at all. In Michigan. No. It's pretty. We just have no way. It's not at all.

I'm Michigan. No, it's not. It's very. Had you been to Stanstalkos? No, what? Look. Was this the Stanstalkos show? No, I don't know.

But what if it had been? It could have been. It could have been oscillate. It could have been oscillate. It could have been oscillate. It could have been oscill have been it could have been oscillates from a guy named Stan Well, they were terrible. Yeah, the dude's name Stan Classic Mexican name that straight out of Mexico. Yeah, for sure So He become like I said he's officially the governor and 60,000 he's saying we should be able to get in.

It should become a state. Then he took the border issue to the Supreme Court to try to influence the Jackson administration, Michigan named new counties after the members of Andrew Jackson's cabinet. That's got to work. I feel like the story should end here. That's just so, that's just so, yeah.

Yeah, so you got Kalhoom, Ben Buren, Livingston, Eaton, Cass, Barian, Barry, Branch, just fucking sucking up their counties. Like just like, you guys all got one. There you go. What is the three? What is the three? What is the three?

What is the three? Territory. So in February 1835, Ohio declares that Toledo is in Ohio. And they're just doing that. They just, they just flat out said that's what it is. Okay. A few days later, Michigan makes it a criminal offense for Ohio to try and control or conduct official business in Toledo. Which is I don't know what official business is, but also in Ohio. So there's jurisdiction ends where Michigan ends, which could be where where Toledo is, but also could be in Ohio. So any Ohio, according to Michigan,

any Ohio resident who is trespassing in the thought over region would be fined up to $1,000 or get five years in prison. Native Americans must have at least just been like, well, this is pretty predictable. Look, now they're not letting themselves go to their territories. And in record time might I add.

So Mason now writes to President Jackson saying he had no choice in doing this. He had to make these laws. The original ordinance said all parties agreed on the borders. Ohio then enacted a law declaring the Harris line, that's the one that puts Toledo in Ohio, was the correct and proper line. They're like, who's lying there embracing is quite a predictable turn. Yeah, it really is. If you want Toledo, then you're probably like, that's the one. That's it.

They were going to send another serving party to do a fourth one. And that one would include Governor Robert Lucas. Okay. Governor of what? Lucas. It's Ohio. Robert Lucas. Okay. Governor of what? Lucas. Hi. Is I think he's a high, but he also maybe Indiana. He's a double governor. Well, he's the guy.

Let me look back here. He is the guy who jumped in and created another line at some point. It's hard. It's hard. it's really hard. You mean, are you saying it's a little confusing, Dave? Yeah, I think Lucas is the Indiana governor, but I think he's originally from Ohio, if I recall correctly.

Okay, gotcha. Does that make sense? That does make sense. Okay, so, so now George, now I forgot his name. Yeah, does that make sense that does make sense? Okay so So now George now I forgot his name Robert Lucas governor Robert Lucas So Steven's tells his general To not be aggressive do not be aggressive towards Lucas or the surveyors. Like do not, like don't get any shit.

We don't want any shooting or problems here. Sure. But he said, but you can scare them and talk them. In my experience, it's not great to say that to people in power. Well, that he wants, he wants this. I'm going to will cost you. Is that okay? Yes, I's I'm gonna be a ghost all right, so we've got a wolf man. We've got a ghost I think we're doing pretty good miss

I'm scared oh my god. What are we doing? Also, I'm gonna turn Jeff inside out and then we'll just carry him. I'm signing up for it, but I'm a little curious how we're going to pull it off, boys. Well, we can pull it off. It's the return, uh, unreversing that I think is furious. So he wants to scare or taunt them. He wants the survey party to come into this territory. He said they can't enter. So he can arrest them. That's the whole plan.

So right. It's a taunting plan. It's a taunting plan. Yeah. And then Steven's also sends three more militia units to the area after saying he's not going to be aggressive. So he's doing the opposite. It might be as wrote.

He then writes the president for help. And if Jackson sends a militia, a federal militia, then Ohio would, yeah, Ohio would have to respect that. Like they couldn't. Yeah. Then it's too much. So he's told by the administration Congress could make Michigan compromise because it was just a

territory and Ohio is a state. Right. So that's not good for him. Yep. Because Michigan's not being a not being a state Michigan's it has a worst. It's not being a state Michigan's has a worst. It's not you know you have a blessed of a leg to stand. Yeah, totally. So Stevens is very upset when he hears this and he's not a state and he's like, look. Hey, man, that's like a 12 year old trying to convince a grownup to let him drive. I'm close enough, guys. I can reach the pedals. Oh, man. So, it seems like just can't give up Toledo and represent the people.

Like the people in Michigan aren't going to have it. He just can't. So, Michigan has elections in the disputed area on April 4th. So Ohio then has its own elections in Toledo on April 6th, two days later. So the people like, we just vote? Mm-hmm. You vote again.

We're voting again? Yeah, this time. Because you might be part of Michigan too. The other one was not. It was a test election. We just found it. Yeah, but we were sick if you could and now we know you can and we're going to do it for real.

But it's boring. Is it the same thing? Hey, hey, Ohio. Is not our song. Hey, oh, hi, oh, part of Michigan. Yeah, no, I mean, not once you vote here in this one. What are we even for? I don't know. I don't remember. I think I think we're making lines. We got this. We got that's our new slogan. Our new slogan is we got this. Unfortunately, Michigan already has that slogan,

so I'm afraid Ohio needs to back the app off. That's that place isn't even a state. It is a state that Toledo's part of it. Michigan, we're basically a state. On April 8th, the Monroe County Sheriff began arresting people for violating Michigan's Plains and Penalties Act. Meaning there. That's that's the act where you said, you know, you can't come into the area. Business or whatever. Yeah. area. Two of those were friends of a prominent Toledo resident, major Benjamin's stickney. And they were staying at Stickney's house when they were

arrested while they were sleeping. So Stickney is known for a couple of things. The main one being that he named his sons after the order of their birth. What does that mean? That means his first son was named one. Shut your mouth. His second son was named. He probably thought that was such a great idea. such a great idea. He did, he did, dumb. He did think that that was inappropriate way to name his daughters. So they were named after states, Mary, Indiana, Louisa, and Molly. He had run out of states. So Molly. It's so amazing to have a time. listen to me this guy's thing was that he was sexist enough to not give his daughter's number names Mm-hmm Well, I guess that's for for This girl's not getting a number. What do you fucking kidding me? What do you mean idiot? A number for a lady? Makes no sense.

She's Rhode Island. Yeah, she's a state name. Don't you see how we're doing this? What, don't you understand about how we're naming our kids? So major, major stigney is a really good idea. Now go to bed, fourth person, I've had sex with. Major stigny is a really, really serious Ohioan. A very loyal to Ohio.

Okay. And although he had been happy to live in Michigan when he was there, because it had lower taxes He switched allegiances when it helped his business. That's how that's why it was super no-hound That's over the state pride. So So these two guys that are arrested It's a they have a mock trial and they released on and they released on bail. How do you bleed? I feel like you don't know what a motro.

Bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip. All rise. Bip. Okay. No, you got it. You got it. You know what it is. I know what a motro is.

200 to 300. Michigan Horseman rode into town and dragged the Ohio flag along the ground tied to the tailable horse. So shit and real. That's the real real. A culture that just didn't care about flags once again. You take of the teeth and neutered this procedure. Oh, my God. Holy shit. hear about flags once again. You take of the teeth and neutered this procedure.

But I stand like, holy shit, somebody has to die. Oh my God. Right. So this is like you can't do it anymore. Nothing more offensive than dragging the Ohio flag on the ground. That guy's putting it up his butt. Hey, there are people listening to the dollop. Uh, this is Gareth. Yes, this up his butt. But we try to help people with problems that are important to them. You can listen to it wherever you listen to podcasts and it is out right now. So go listen to, we're here to help with Jake and Garrett. We're here to help with Garrett and Jake. I don't remember how we did it, but either way, fun, half hour comes out Tuesday, August 22nd, and episodes will be out every Tuesday and Friday.

We're here to help. You begged for more. So now, Blink 182 are coming again. Friday. We're at ticketmaster.ca. Blink 182, the brand new album, one more time is available everywhere now. Visit Blink 182.com. Stick me. Declarate quote, there cannot be a doubt that the generous Ohioans will turn out and

mass to protect their northern border and restrain the savage barbarity of the hordes from the north. It's so obvious even my kids know it. Get over here. Two, one, four, three, Rhode Island, Louisiana, Texas. I actually had some girls. And fourth woman I've had sex with. And I'm the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the whatever in the fuck you guys are doing. They're trying to come in again. They suggest to Stevens that Michigan should stop enforcing the penalties

and whatever the Paynes and penalties act. Sure. And allow Ohio to just temporarily use the Harris line and ask the people of tolito which state they actually wanted to live it well the problem with that is they might not say are correct so it can happen no what if you ask them and they were like we don't want to be in a high or to

michigan honestly it's not our, yeah, neither. Can we be in Washington? I think we needed to kill the people of Toledo and repopulate it with Michiganers. It's okay. That's also better than living in to Ohio or Michigan. So. You're being real negative towards Toledo, Dave.

Ha! But I remember when we were doing this show live, there was a lot of, because were we in Michigan or Ohio when we did it? We were in, I believe in Michigan. Yeah, so there was a lot of them, and we were like, look, you Toledo, we don't need you anyway. People were like, I drove in Michigan. Yeah, so there was a lot of them, and we were like, fuck you, Tilledo,

we don't need you anyway. People were like, I drove from Tilledo to see them, and we were like, shit, I got Tilledo, people are like, hey! Hey, what are you doing? That's not great. It's America, we should on every city. Wherever we are.

So, Stevens is like, I can't do that. We can't let people choose what they want. So on April 25th, one of Stevens militia units learned of the location of the fourth Ohio Survey Party. Oh, man. And around 30 men moving on them. Hello? Hi.

Hi. Hi. We're just serving. You were. You're about to die. I'm going to kill your weakest member. Put down that little, what is that? That's, I don't know what that's called,

the little gauge. The thing you have, it looks like a compassy sort of... A compass. It's got the pointy part with the... It's a compass. The switcher doodle. Put it down with the string coming out of it and the little thing you look through.

Stop it. Stop it. Fuck. So, 30 guys come, the surveyors panic, and they run to Perysburg, which is south, just south of the river. Yeah, I've been to Perysburg. The nine guards sent to protect the party,

didn't do that, and instead barricaded themselves in a wood cabin. Huh. In the area where that's supposed to be. They're surrounded by the Michigan Posse and they surrender. But after they surrender, they've run for the woods. And the Michigan militia starts shooting at them, but only shooting over their heads,

because they actually don't want to kill anybody so no one is hit or wounded and All nine are arrested quote Forever known as the Battle of Phillips corner The only casualties of the loss of a few coats and a and pairs of trousers. Okay. Well, they're right near Mary's house. I can get some more pairs. Not a good one. So Governor Lewis of Ohio, Governor Lewis is Ohio. Okay. So Governor Lewis of Ohio declares the Toledo strip, right? That little area to be Lewis County. That's a little.

Everyone was probably like. You could have done sir. Not after yourself. He was doing some pre-port. He was doing Jackson's cabinet, which seems. Yes, but I've got you see I'm kissing my own ass. Very good. You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? you know what? You know what? you know what? you know what? you know what? you know what? you Very good. You know what? You know what?

You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what?

You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what?

You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know gonna tell you what I'm not gonna tell you what I'm not gonna tell you what I'm not gonna tell you what I'm not gonna tell you what I'm not gonna tell you what I'm not gonna tell you what

I'm not gonna tell you what I'm not gonna tell you what I'm not gonna tell you what I'm not gonna tell you what I'm not gonna tell you what I'm not gonna tell you. I'm not gonna Toledo. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm sure there's a paper mill. No, no, no, it's really, it's like, there's like 800 Toledo's. Yes, this is the main one. No, no, sorry. I thought you were going to say something important. Nope. It's Toledo. Yeah, I think we're all kind of probably just going to get out of here. Cause that's so good. Let's go. Yeah. We'll work.

Hop on the wagons. No, man man your horses. No, no get your guns We're gonna kill some mother fuckers over Toledo. No, sorry, man You shouldn't it's all this work was cuz that would have been like we probably I mean we were look we're looking to kill people You know, but we're just not looking to die for Chicago well you already said Toledo though. After Toledo will invade. And the uninvolvement of Toledo, just it's sort of like, you know what I mean?

It's a joke. It's a joke. And you're like, well, eat around it. That's not how it works. So it's like a training session. Toledo, we're trying first. I mean, I feel like you don't even want to leave. I don't, I'm like, I, you know, I just,

I think people won't vote for me if I don't keep Toledo, but I don't, again, I've said this a lot in private, but it's Toledo. So I'm not, it's not great. Even the name, that's the name. Yeah, it's, I mean, at least it's not Buffalo. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're really coming at them.

Yeah, it's weird that I am all of a sudden. It's a weird. Yeah, it's almost personal. Seems almost personal. In Perry's Burg, a local giant guy known as the Big Oldie. Hello. Ah. No.

The big, the big old Oodle. I think this is Oodle. Okay. It's probably the old Oodle. Yeah, it's Oodle. The big Oodle. The big Oodle. He was hired to map jacks.

Okay, what, how is that a thing? This isn't what we're doing. I eat more than anyone for breakfast. So the big only is higher jacks for every meal. Okay, my doctors worried. I got to be real honest. Yeah, nobody nobody cares. I have not done something that's not a flap jacket over three years. Okay. Cool. I am. Yes, you're very large. Nine, nine a stack. I'll have for a meal and I'll cover them in syrup. Thank you very much. I know I'm going to go to the big, go to the big, big man. Big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big, the big, go to the big, go to the big, go to the big old love a big big man big old all I like my flat jacks the big old all I do what I can Look at this axe looks like a hatchet in my hand. Why are you looking so fucking disinterested asshole?

It's just the it's crazy. You're just a giant weird person I'm real big and awesome Yeah, we know you're big. We see. Did you hear the thing about flap jacks, they're all IE? Yeah, it's one of the reasons I rolled my eyes and turned around. Yeah, and I don't like it.

I'm aware. Cause I'm not big. You're a giant. No, I'm it. What? You're a giant idiot. That's, I don't know. You're just a idiot. Only a flap jacks for every meal

Yes Very much so yeah You're small go fuck yourself. Yeah, yeah, I'm a little bitch Well if you use an ad to hominem, you've lost the argument Hey, here's an impression. I've been doing of you. Oh yeah, it's the ad hominin. And I don't have flapjacks for every meal. That's you. You can't.

You know who you are. I know who I am. The big old one. Who are you? The big, stupid. The big, old one. I'm a happy man. I'm the big, old, and I'm new.

And what I can. Who do you put in the heart? And it's a man. Look at my boots. They're bigger than you get them out down. Your name's Oldie by the way. You said it was totally bastard. Yeah.

Yeah. So the big little is higher to march up and down front street beating a drum to inspire patriotism in young men. So Dave have we always been stupid idiots? Yes, very much so. Oodle wore a two story white-felt hat with a piece of paper tied around it. What's the words recruiting for the war? I think that's a type of hat. I think it's just a large hat. I think it's not as big as a building. Because he gets how many years I've been worried about. The big old old neck hurts again.

You're carrying a building. He had also, he also had worn a green rifleman's coat with trimmed black lace and his pants were also trimmed with lace. He was accompanied by a man carrying an American flag. So he's getting people ready for the war. So it's basically what you see, like, on the side of, like, like any strip mall during April where it's like someone's like, come get your taxes done from this weirdo. It's exactly that.

Oodle, uh, drummed and marched for hours, but he had little success with recruiting. He did, however, annoy a local judge who told them to shut up as he was causing a disturbance. You shut up. You haven't even had flapjacks for every meal. Oodle said he was under military orders, which eclipsed local laws. So the judge had the sheriff arrest oal you can't arrest me i'm a sergeant basically

also the guy carrying the flag and then uh... a captain scott scott then threatened the sheriff that he would enact martial law and then arrest the sheriff for arresting them but captain scott's belligerence and the support he received from big Odell attracted a crowd, and that led to actually getting volunteers. Wow. Yeah. The stri-hand effect.

It's so dumb. Yeah. It's so dumb. In May 1835, Michigan held a conference to vote on joining the union. In applying for statehood, they claimed Toledo as being in Michigan and that the attorney general backed him up. On April 15th, Governor Lucas ordered General John Bell to take 500 Ohio troops and quote, repel any invasion of our territory and constitutional rights. Imagine living in Toledo.

Guys, please. I we don't care. We don't care that one of you, one of you. Take the dozen King Solomon's. This is nuts. That's really just a coin flip. Honestly, we don't care. They're both the best states.

It's boy, we're really having trouble choosing between you two bangers. It's just rich guys. This is rich guys costing it. 100 percent. So both the highland michigan's militias head for the disputed territory but they mostly just taunt each other from opposite sides of the river it's even the dumber part they're like not willing to do it so there's just a river between two like pantomiming mock troops it's just a lot of raspberries and Ohio mitsucks. That's all that we're getting. I'm out of focus. There you.

Some soldiers get lost in the great black swamp for more than two weeks. Holy shit. What? And so they never find their homes. in the great black swamp for more than two weeks. Oh, the shit, what? And so they never find their opponents. Doing what they love. Just two weeks, and they figure out, oh, they live, they're five. They live.

Doing what they almost died, loving to do. Figure out who Toledo belongs to. That was what they... Oh, we're clapping. Okay, yes. If someone starts applauding, the... You have no choice. It's over.

Yeah, it's over. That's a Michigan law. That's why Toledo is part of Michigan. Michigan's the best. So they taunt and some guys get lost and that's it. They all just kind of go home after a couple of weeks. Oh, God. I'm glad it solved. On June 11th, President Jackson tried to restrain Ohio,

telling Lucas if he kept running the Harris line with no regards for Michigan, then the president might intervene. So he's like, why doesn't he intervene? I don't know. I because of votes, Why doesn't he intervene? I don't know. I, because of votes, I think I think he was going to lose votes. Yeah, so either way, if he write your president, if you rule for one of the other, you're going to lose that state.

Right. Right, and get the other one, but you, you want to have both, I think. In response, Ohio State government basically said, fuck off, and passed a number of laws confirming it definitely owned the territory, and the Michigan should be punished for the attack on the Svang Party. And they also raised 600,000 as a war chest and to compete with Michigan who had raised 315,000. Why not just let Toledo vote?

Hey, hey, and your whole... I'm out of here. You're problematic, you know what I mean? Sorry about that, everyone. Yeah, no, you cause a lot of problems with your bullshit. Sorry. On July 12th, two Michigan officers tried to arrest two stickney. Uh, stickney the guy who is the. Yeah, not two stickneys, but two

stickney. Yeah. Because stickney to is a son. Born at one prior to three. That's correct. Sticking 2 point five didn't make it stuff these are tough times to stick me stuck the officer with a dirt right a long dagger okay saying quote damn you you have got it the deputy was taken to an end and recovered and two stickney becomes a hero for defending Ohio and also making a very witty quip while he did so can we hear the witty quip because I don't think you said it Damn you you have got it pretty great

It's definitely I go ahead make my day for sure That's that's something you make or you yourself book so far. There you go, now you've got it. Oh, so he's sort of saying there you go, you've got Toledo. And instead. I guess? I'm reaching. I'm trying to help him, but it's really. You're reaching. You're reaching.

When Steven's heard about the violence, he sent two other men to arrest two Stickney. Now a lot of residents of Otolito swarm across the river to Ohio where they fire back at the Michigan militia. Okay, militia again. militia. They arrested three or four Ohio sympathizers including major Stickney who was so uncooperative that they had to tie his legs to the horse. So the horse is just right. That's one of those ones where you're just like, all right, all right, all right, sorry, I'm sorry,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, no, no, no, no, ow, come on, come on. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. On August 28th, Stevens was removed from office by the president. Oh, wow. So he's kind of weighing in. Yeah, he is. I mean, he's because he did send troops and the did lead to, you know, shooting and like, Jackson called Stevens the young hot spur. like Jackson called Steven's the young hot spur.

More rumors flew that Lucas was amassing a large army in Ohio. So Michigan sends about 250 men, mostly are like farmers and just towns people and they're mostly just have brooms and rakes. Nice, I'll get them. And they march. They march to two in a row. And you're down.

Yeah. Look at them. They don't even know what to do right now. Yeah. So these guys march to Toledo. It takes about four days. Once all your quote, we had a vast amount of fun. The farming people in route did a great deal for our creature comforts. We repaid the favor by stealing pigs and chickens.

Of course we called it foraging. Cool. So that's cool. Yeah, cool group. It's called winning hearts and minds. Yeah, I have. Yeah. Yeah. So they even pillaged two stick knees garden,

pulling up a zong in some potatoes. Nice. No, that's five, seven, nine, two. Oh, not batch number eight. Oh, fudge. Dad, did you call us? No, not your sons. I've also named the plants in my garden by numbers. I'm not a judge. Dad, did you call us? No, not your sons.

I've also named the plants in my garden by numbers. Oh, I thought you were talking to me, your son, Fudge. No, Fudge. You were an accident. Go back inside. On September 6, the Michigan troops bedded down to prepare for open warfare with Ohio. Wow.

Wow. That's crazy. It's so American too. It is. I mean, air is on in California. Just to say, the future is a version of the future. Yes, the future. No, I'm sure people won't have problems over water.

What are you talking about? They won't fight. But Lucas was using stealth. He snuck into Toledo at 1am with some court officials and judges. They, quote, conducted official business, opening a courthouse and making appointments, which was in direct violation of the Payons and penalties act. They recorded things and were so simple back then that was like,

we'll do it at night. They'll never know what to do. God damn it, they fucking appointed a judge at night! Fuck! 1 a.m. Fuck! You're just sleeping at 1 a.m. How did they know? We fucking lost to Lino!

Damn it! It's just such a good plan, too. Because the days when we're really busy. I'm sleeping at night. I am also considering night a time for rest. Right. So they record all the stuff they did on little bits of paper, which are kept in the clerk's hat.

So it is official. So it's a bell shaped hat, but it's a hat. Oh, that is official. It's a bell shaped hat, but it's a hat. It's official. It's not a two story. It's a safe hat. Yeah, no. Well, you get that seal when you put it on, you get that seal.

Right. May as well be a lot. Yeah. Hats are no different than a file cabinet. No, without question. Considering this is a great victory, they went to the end to celebrate. Then they were told they had been seen by the enemy, which

wasn't true at all. They hadn't been seen by the enemy. So they made a quick escape across the river. While they were doing that quick escape, the clerk lost all the little pieces of paper in his hat. What? You imagine that moment with that guy? All right, well at least we have record in your hat.

Give us the piece of paper. Where are they? Oh. Give us the piece of paper. So I'm just realizing. As we were going. The piece of paper, a very important just realizing the piece of paper is a paper very important to this plan. Right. So maybe I gave you the piece of paper and I said we should put this

somewhere safe and you said nowhere safer than my hat. Yes. My head is saying that you don't know where these pieces of paper are. Where are the pieces of paper? No, I do. You have that. Well, okay. So that's different. But where are they? When we were going across the river, and I said, you'd be really careful with the face of the paper. Right, but then my head got wet. Yeah, and I said, don't get your hat on that head because it's wet.

I took off the hat to wipe my head. Well, why did you do that? And then that makes no sense. And then that kind of messed up my filing system, which had all the, they're in the river is what I'm saying. So we just, if we go back to the river, and look for,

what are you talking about? The pieces of paper, we'll go downstream, but we can get it. They'll evaporate it. They'll be gone. No, they're... Is that one of those things where you know you totally fucked up and you're just pretending like it's all gonna be okay

because you don't want to feel bad? I'm starting to think that maybe a hat isn't a good... That's terrible place for stuff. But it seemed at the time like a really great idea. You called that a hit save. I said that sounds like a bunch of shit. It was on there pretty tight. I think if we had Nagon through the river,

which was your idea. We had no choice. What are you talking about? What are you even talking? All right, you're done talking. You don't talk anymore. That's a new rule. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, for the where we're we're not getting Toledo because you're

stupid hat safe. How we don't know that like that. OK, all right. Have you heard of messages in bottles? That could it could all end up in a bottle. You know who could solve this?

Who? Hello, boys. Oh, no, no! It's me, the beaver, guy. Hey! So, what's the problem? What's the problem? What's the problem? Talk to me.

It's not... Go ahead. What do you got? We didn't, we didn't. I solved most things. We should have used the magic beaver, but we didn't. Ah, and you regret it. Yeah, it hasn't gone very well.

I'll trade you five beavers for all of your pants. Sorry, this thing, the technology's not... I'm still here, I can't. Okay, so, I mean... Yeah, so they're fun. Everything they went to celebrate is totally, it's gone down river. I mean, it was, yeah. So that was the official paperwork of... Not great. way yeah court records and whatever so two guards go back To the river and they find some okay, they find some of the records so you were wrong

And then not gonna be a great chick and then they come back to Ohio Excited that they had deceived Michigan. They're like, we really put one over our Michigan. Michigan forces arrive in Toledo two hours later and they hang around for a few days, but there's not one Ohio soldier around, so they go back to Monroe. Okay. Now, Judge Charles Schailer is offered Steven's position, but he's like, no. It seems like a shit. He seems terrible. I don't want. So Michigan has no leadership.

Well, the month is September. Why is this going on? It's just a void. There's no one in charge. Imagine a government without one of its leaders. So no. So President Jackson appoints John Little Jack Horner.

What? Who's this? John John Little Jack Horner. This is a new person. Yes. Who is this person? Ben appointed. He's really Jack Hor appointed. He's really Jack corner. He's little Jack corner. I don't know. He's the little Jack corner.

I don't know if he is. I just know his name is John Little Jack corner. I'm, but the people of I'm starstruck. I can't believe we're meeting the real guy. I can't believe we're meeting a real guy. Well, we're not really meeting him. Why? Just did I'm a little thrown. I really, this guy's...

He's been a hero for a long time. He's the corner center. Yeah, I'm sure it's a different guy. I bet it's him and it was this fairy tale. Because that's a... that's a nursery rhyme. So he's probably, this guy's probably nicknamed after the nursery rhyme. I think the nursery rhyme was written about him.

Well, now we're really taking a lot of leaps. Yeah, okay, so he was, he's just a politician. Okay. It doesn't say why he is nicknamed. Yeah, I'm looking at a thing and it really doesn't go into how he got the nickname. It's the worst. How do you? How do you? How do you do a write-up of a guy and not say how he got the nickname little Jack? Like if you're nicknamed after a nursing home people should be like that's the first thing anybody leads with when they're when they yes President dumpty so uh...

so little little jackhorner the people don't like them nobody michigan likes little jackhorner so they they don't really they're like fuck that guy so michigan now decides that they're gonna ratified their own constitution without congress they're gonna do itify their own constitution without Congress. They're going to do it on their own. Is that ratification? They're just like, they're just like, fucking, we're a state. We're doing live.

We're doing live. That's not how it works. Yeah, they're like, we're going to be a state. What are you going to do? You're going to fucking say no. No news. We're a state. So they hold elections for a congressional reps and senators even though they

actually can't go to congress because they're not a state and people vote for a governor named stevens mason in uh... little jack horters out stevens is back little jack corner had a great run so the president got rid of stevens only because of all the shit he was doing that the michigan people love and then

and their process of ratification stevens is now back in and he's like wait what yet they they've got a great state yet but we have our guy trying to stop us from state how we got it try it quote mason now believe that michigan should be considered a state regardless of the border dispute sending the newly elected but not yet legal representatives to the federal legislature

michigan was the first u.s US state attempting to break into the union. It's a little like George Santos. It's just like, I'm just gonna do what I have to do to get in there, and you're gonna have to try to take me out. They're like, just start where a state go, go, go. Okay, and we're gonna take you out. So Congress refuses to seat, if you can believe this, they refuse to see the Michigan delegates. You guys aren't, you guys aren't a state.

We said we're a state. We ratified ourselves this morning. Hello. The delegates wrote Stevens saying they would have to compromise probably in a way that favored mid ohio so michigan would not get into the union without doing this is what the delegates are saying in ohio because ohio again is a state has all the power they got all right no one no one in congress gives a shit about what michigan wants because ohio is actually has a couple of wraps and stuff It's a state. Yeah, they can and Michigan's like we're also a state It's like now you're a bunch of weirdos in a trench coat saying you're a senator. What?

Ohio also has tons of wealth and Andrew Jackson needs Ohio's Electoral college folks. There it is. I guess I said before, like he doesn't wanna piss off either side, but in the end, they're not a state. So what am I talking about?

He doesn't need Michigan. Well, you're not gonna get our delegates, Jackson. Yeah, well, you're not a state. You're gonna miss those in the electoral map on election night. No, because you're not a, that not you're not part of one of our electoral votes. It's a piece of bark. That's not and that to us is no, that's our system. Okay, that's not a good one.

You're crazy. And that's not how we're Michigan. We are a state for sure. Michigan Michigan for sure. A state. Oh, and that's not how we're definitely a state. Eee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e. We, Mr. Can, we, Mr. Can, and we, Mr. Can, do, at Mr. Wann, we, Mr. Wown, Mr. Mr. Town, can, I, Mr. G, fuck you,

how, how, how higher where is date? I better need a little shit again. You're a shit again. Nobody gives a fuck why cuz we're Ohio we're actually a fucking state. My way at that. Stay and go in. Balls also balls. Oh, balls also balls oh high oh no shit again shit again you've serious across the line dude so we from the Ohio delegation agree to allow this territory to become a state if they agreed to be known as shittigan.

We're pitching back that we form one big state called oh hi again oh. No permission. No to kill everyone in shitting it. Nope. We're actually called permission again and we're not allowing it. Sorry Send the bombers oh Jesus So I don't know what's in this is the crazy shit. Yeah. Um, so right. So the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the no other way around this. Stevens says, yeah, it gives a very sad speech,

and what she says, quote, we have been deceived. But they weren't deceived. They just said they were doing a thing, and everyone's like, you can't do that. Turns out at the end of the day, they're claiming we're not a state. Which we aren't. Legend German, they lied to us. They fibbed. They lied and they deceived and they faked and they said,

since when they have to get in. They said you're not a state. So when does Michigan not been a state? It's crazy. I blame it on Stan's tacos. I've got a solution. Oh fuck. Here, take a bunch of beavers.

Okay. What's my purpose? Oh shit, I'm still mic'd up. You're still here. You're back. You didn't go anywhere actually. Oh. We gotta walk out of here.

See you guys later. Okay. All right. See you later. Thanks for the beer. I can actually get a back. Nope. But we use them.

Bye. So they've been deceived. In June 1836, Congress passes an act. Michigan could become a state if they handed over the Toledo strip, which was always going to be what this was. In return, it could have the upper peninsula which was viewed as useless wasteland. We'll take it. Sold.

Yes. Stevens commission yet another survey of the ordinance line. This is the fifth survey. It's such a... It's a Hail Mary. Yeah, right. It's a Hail survey. We just want to make sure it's one part of us.

You're not going to believe this. This one finds a Michigan's favor. Shot game. It's yes. In September 1836, Michigan holds a convention and rejects Congress's offer. But they're not in the position to do that. Adults. Adults.

Not even slight. All right, well, here's what we're're gonna do. We're going to do it still Gentlemen, we are a state and we also have Toledo. Thank you very much not a state this don't have Toledo is Conclude that's not a gamble. We have voted. That's a beaver and Yes, the where the beaver state? You're not a state. Sub-saying that. The whole country is beavers. Stop talking now.

It's getting super weird. We are a country. What? Michigan. No. We've come to a reasonable offer. Michigan is earth. We are God.

We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are.

We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. So without being a state, Michigan has no way, no legal way to fight Ohio and no access to federal money. So they hold another convention in October.

Welcome to Union of the Scott. Welcome to Union of the Scott. They debate for two days. About what? I mean, imagine how fucking crazy... It's, it's, it's, that, it's, it's cosplay. It, it's insane. Like, they literally have nothing to stand on. They cannot make this happen.

And they, two days, they took, two days. And they finally agree to ratify it. And, and they agree to... Give up Toledo. Lose Toledo agree to give them Toledo. Lose Toledo. They never had Toledo. Right. And they become a state on January 6th, 1837.

Oh, watch out. John Quincy Adams would later say, quote, never in the course of my life have I known a conflict of which all the right was so clearly on one side and all the power so overwhelmingly on another never a case where the temptation was so intense to take the strongest side and the duty of taking the weakest was so thankless. So I mean essentially, essentially Toledo should be in Michigan, but all the power and

the money was on Ohio. But that's what it's saying. Well, and also it's about Place that wasn't a state thinking they could do shit But they can't because you're not a state. Yeah, no, I mean that's what he's saying like the power Like they were amazing. They were amazing in America with to After taking land like conning tribes out of land, to find yourself in this position where you're like,

but we want the land. And he's like, you're all, you're the people who just took all the, what the fuck are you talking about? I don't know what you're saying. The idea that's like I was saying before, like the Native Americans would just be like, how you guys just took all the land and they're like, but the lands are over here. It's like, but you just took it all. So now you're like, that doesn't make sense. I think you're doing the point of view. Like I am knees you think. In the first official gubernatorial election after statehood, Stevens Mason just scraped through against a wake-up moment, who accused him of duplicity and cowardice. The man who can at one moment declare his willingness to render up life and liberty and defense

of his country's rights and at the next treacherously abandon them suffers from it in firmety of of mind or a disregard for all moral obligation which totally disqualifies i disqualifies him from the smallest office of public you know it is actually so funny that it happened on july six because it is such a trump e election move. We've got Toledo like it's like and now he's getting attacked

because Michigan's like we should have had it. And it's like you were never going to be able to keep it. Oh, never. You were never going to be able to keep it. Yeah, I mean, he promised the thing that was impossible. He made that he made that his His entire platform As right as it is as much as the line says the survey say it should be in Michigan It doesn't fucking matter. You never you were gonna wait back then to reveal if where it was to just go there and have someone be like

All right, what's come down to this Is it in Michigan? Is it in Ohio? Surveyors says, Bing, and you do a family feud style. Oh wow. It just, this just shows how bad the television that you watch. He embarked on an ambitious and ambitious and let you talk shit about family feud. I know. Okay. He embarked on an ambitious plan of infrastructure and a progressive education policy, but the panic of 1837 meant there weren't enough funds

to support his vision. He traveled to New York City to personally negotiate alone. This became his political undoing. Quote, when he arrived in Detroit with the trunkful of money lent to the state, some of it was missing. Oh, there you go. Although eventually all the money was accounted for, his political opponents made much of the situation

and Mason did not run for re-election. Mason stayed in Detroit until 1841, then he moved to New York City with his new wife, and in 1843 he died of pneumonia at the ripe old age of 31. Not only shit. That's one of those ones where you're like, wow, I thought, I just,

hey, it's so young, it's also like, you know, I'm thinking this is going on for a lot longer. I mean, I guess it's a while. Did you catch that fly? Yeah. Just a great reach for. Yeah, sorry. Michigan didn't fly. Michigan didn't entirely give up the fight for the Toledo area. In 1966, Michigan filed a suit against Ohio for the Lake Erie triangle. It went all the way to the Supreme Court.

I mean, I think it's a lot of fun. I think it's a lot of fun. Michigan didn't entirely give up the fight for the Toledo area. In 1966, Michigan filed a suit against Ohio for the Lake Erie triangle. It went all the way to the Supreme Court, but in 1972, Michigan was overruled. The Toledo War lives on in the rivalry between Ohio and Michigan and College football, which has spilled more blood over the years than the war itself. Crazy. Research by Charlotte George resources the rise and fall of Toledo, Michigan, the Toledo War by Sister Mary Carl George, collecting the Toledo War by Eugene G. Wanger and Holy Toledo, or the continuing war between

Ohio and Michigan by Alan Naldret and the Clark Historical Library. That's it. Yeah, I mean, even for having done this before, you do forget the full lengths of absurdity of, I mean, yeah, just what a feudal mission. Fueudal Michigan. Gareth? Yes. The people came to hate the Bieber Hunter guy.

Who, what people? A bunch of them blamed the Bieber Hunter guy for coming in and... Hello? Hello? Shit, it's so crazy. It's so... Yeah, crazy.

Well, there you go Toledo. For some reason, people want you. People do want you. There you go Toledo for some reason. Yeah. People watch it. People do want it.