The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 636 - The Cherry Sisters
Episode Date: June 4, 2024Comedians Gareth Reynolds and Dave Anthony examine entertainers The Cherry Sisters. Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources Squarespace Rocket Money...
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Garrett, the dollop is brought to you by Rocket Money.
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Rocketmoney.com. You're listening to The Dollop on the All Things Comedy Network.
This is an American History Podcast where each week I, David Anthony, read story from
America history to man with face. Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about.
What a face.
We having fun? Huh?
No, I mean, no, I don't think anybody's having fun yet.
We just started.
And you're being weird.
Oh, man, we're back in America.
Yes. Oh, I got to tell you, my first interaction getting
off the plane from Australia was amazing. So I get through customs and whatever, I'm
leaving the, you know, leaving the airport, have my bag and I'm just walking. Yeah. It's six 15 in the morning. So I'm out of my mind.
And, um, I, I go as I'm walking,
two people in front of me just stop and they just go,
go, go, what? And they go, the guy goes, go, go, go.
And she goes, you're just walking right behind us. And I go, the guy goes, go, go, go. And she goes, you're just walking right behind us.
And I go, oh, wait, wait, they were mad at you for walking too fast.
That I was walking too close to them.
And I go, I just go, oh, I'm sorry.
I'm just trying to get out of here.
And the guy's German, the woman's American.
And he goes, go around us.
Go.
If you've seen such a rush, just go.
I go...
It's a fucking airport.
I go, okay, so I just walk around them, and then he starts walking really close to me.
He goes, how do you like it?
How do you like it?
And I just go, it doesn't bother me.
And she's just like, there's so much room for you to walk.
You didn't have to walk right behind us. And I was like, boy, it is good to be home.
Come on, man. What the fuck? Just perfect. You should go back to Germany.
So many like car thoughts on my way home where I was like, what should I have done? Yeah.
Like there's so many awful things I could have done. I think, I also just feel like
we're just in the era where it's like, yeah, I don't think you want to push anything.
Yeah. I mean, yeah, you're probably right. But I think the best thing to do is just laugh at them
at that point. That's basically what I was doing. Yeah. I basically was like, okay. Yeah. Wow.
This is nuts.
Or start singing Deutschland, Deutschland or something.
Deutschland, Deutschland.
Hey, real quick, can we promote that we have an actual YouTube that's ours?
We're trying to get the other one taken down.
So at least can we beat it in subscribers?
So go to the Dallup podcast.
That is the official one. dollop podcast go fucking subscribe hey
hey the language you're fucking so close to us and called it quote is jam
patch yeah I'm the fucking hippo guy okay My name is Gary. My name's Gary. Wait. Is it for fun? And this is not gonna become a tickly plot
Okay
Now hit him with the puppy you both present sick arguments Sit down, my friend. No, no. Roeder, Roeder in the court.
Dalop.
That's us.
Yep.
Number one.
Bad boys.
Bad boys of podcasting.
What you gonna do?
What you gonna do?
By the way, there's a lot of people who say they're the bad boys of podcasting.
No way.
Wrong.
Step aside. You can't. We are.
You're dealing with the bad boys. Were you kidding me? There's no badder boys in podcasting.
They know. People see us coming, they go, uh-oh. I mean, we thought about calling this the naughty
boy podcast just because of how bad we are. No, we're the worst. How about this? We're the worst
podcasters in the business. That's right. Period. Nobody's worse than we are.
Nobody, nobody.
We're the worst.
We're the worst.
We're terrible.
And we're the worst and our show is terrible.
Awful.
I'll teach them.
1863 year of our Lord, JaytownTown, who's dealing meth.
Sure, what?
Good Lord.
Ella Cherry was born in Lynn County, Massachusetts
on a farm to Father Thomas and Mother Laura.
Thomas said they were nobility.
They were nobility?
Yeah, he said we're nobility, which is-
Is that just something you say when you're on a farm? That's just such a lie. That's such a creep. My mother raised me to believe that too for myself. Yeah
There's so many people that do that kind of stuff
And he also said he had been a farmer for an English Earl and then he fell in love with Laura
She was the Earl's daughter
Okay, and then they eloped together to America, because
who wants the filthy gardener marrying your sweet, sweet nobility daughter?
Sure.
Well, you go to America, where all is possible.
Where we're all noble.
Yes.
The family also claimed Laura was a direct descendant of Edward Rosson, who was the Secretary
of Massachusetts Bay Colony for 30 years.
So OGs, they're OGs.
Sure. They're nobility. They got it years. So OG, they're OGs.
Sure.
They're nobility. They got it all. They got the full package.
Sure.
What's not to love?
I don't know. The nobility stuff?
In the mid-1850s, they moved. They moved quite a bit around this time. Michigan, Illinois,
a bunch of towns in Iowa. And finally, end up near Marion, Iowa on a farm.
Okay.
And Thomas tells his new neighbors
that he's a landscape painter.
How true is this?
Are they just pathologicals?
They seem to never,
people, sounds like they never saw a painting.
Right.
Mostly what they saw him do was farming.
So maybe he thought that's what landscape painting was.
Yeah.
Paint that corn.
You there.
It could have been what he's doing.
Paint some hay into the barn.
He could have been a terrible farmer.
I don't know what paint is.
Yes.
So they started having kids.
Popping them out a lot.
I'll tell you what I'm painting is the inside of my wife.
All right, I'll see you later.
Okay, I'm gonna actually go too.
It's a double walk off.
Wait, by the way, we're the bad boys.
Yeah, we're the bad boys.
Sorry, everybody.
Yeah, go complain to the FCC if you don't like the bad boys.
I mean, if you want, if you don don't want bad that don't listen to this podcast
There are a lot of podcasts out there with good boys. We come in naughty
By
1871 they had six girls and two boys now one son
Let's say one boy cuz one died as a baby sure and then another daughter died as a child
So we're down to we're down to regular numbers.
Five girls, one boy.
It must be shocking to have seven kids and be like, two are going to die.
That's actually, I think, better than normal numbers, I think.
What year are we?
Like 1860s?
1850s.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Yeah.
So five girls, one boy.
Then Laura Cherry dies in 1875.
So the kids now have to help Thomas with the 40-acre farm.
I'm gonna need help painting the farm a lot.
Yeah, if you could get a brush or a roller.
We're gonna need to paint a lot of the dirt.
By the way, we are not making money.
So much painting we need to do to sell.
So the kids names are Ella, Elizabeth, Addie, Effie, and Jesse, and the boy is Nathan. So
they're, they're poor. They're poorly dressed. They're barefooted. They're socially awkward.
But at school, the girls like to perform. Okay. So it's like you.
They're like you so far.
Poor, barefooted, socially awkward, but like to perform.
Yep.
They got an escape, which is what I had.
A classmate said the five sisters did not mumble through Friday recitals like other
students.
They banged down.
Said the words.
Yeah. They they they bang said the words. Yeah Quote one time Ella gave something in which she was supposed to be a hunter
What did she do but throw a dummy pigeon of some sort in the air and then shoot at it?
It scared everyone including the teacher half to death now
Let's just point out that that's insane and that that if that you couldn't do
that today in woke America or could you?
It's a good point.
Thank you. Good work, bad boy.
Yeah.
Nathan goes to Chicago to work. OK.
And then they never see him again. OK.
He's just like, fuck those.
How old is he? I don't know.
Nine? Yeah, I mean, it's the 18. Yeah, I mean, he's probably, he's probably a teenager, I would think.
Thomas then dies in the mid 1880s. So, but at least three of the girls are in their 20s at that
point. Sure. Or as Effie wrote, quote, orphans to battle our way through life alone.
Christ. It was really like having kids then was just like how turtles have their babies on the
beach. And then it's just like that walk from the hole to the ocean is like, yeah,
six of you are probably going to get through this. Yeah, there's, there's, there's 200.
Yeah, there's, there's, there's seagulls coming. Yeah. But they're 12, they're 20 and another one's 18.
Like they're at this point, the 1800s, you're like,
that's like 60.
Like, yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
Established.
So they worked the farm for years.
It's dairy and poultry.
The girls resolved to never drink.
They were never going to drink. They were never gonna drink.
They were never gonna go to parties
and they said they would never kiss anyone except each other.
I am really...
So do you do?
Cue the music, you know what I mean?
Welcome to the Bad Boys of Podcasting.
I'm sorry, I obviously wanna be a fellow bad boy,
but I'm not gonna co-sign this bad boy one too much
Hey, am I right a little lesbian incest for you bad, but fellow bad boy. Let's hit the elbows
So the lists get stranger it's a weird list not drinking ever okay, I get that
You know, I'd say try parties once. Parties is weird. I am, you know, but...
So the sisters are just going to kiss each other.
Yeah, so maybe...
They're kissers.
They're kissers.
They're going to, you know, maybe...
I don't know, Tong.
I don't know what's going on.
Well, what do you know?
I know what farm life is.
Are they doing tongue?
What do you know?
I mean, I think for our own story, we should
say yes. Okay. But we don't know, but we will just say tongue.
We have no idea. They also said they would not marry or in any other way threaten their
tight bond as sisters. Unless it was each other.
Yeah. Unless it's... So, Ella was small. She was a homebody. She enjoyed physical work
Lizzie was taller blonde and a very skilled painter. She was actually
Out there. I don't think dad knows what painting is and the wheat she painted a lot of the wheat. I don't think
How are you doing to that canvas you farming
What the hell are you doing to that canvas? You farming?
Daddy, I'm making crops.
You farming on that painting?
What are you doing? You're not going to make any out of that money.
Now get outside and paint the crops with the rest of us.
I'm making crops. I'm...
You can't sell that.
Your sister's just in there wasting her life farming when she should be out here painting
with the rest of us.
Hey, Daddy.
These cucumbers aren't going to paint themselves?
Hey, Daddy.
What?
You're dead.
What?
I'm dead?
Yes.
Is that true?
Am I about to die?
Oh, I already died?
Yeah.
Oh, did you say that?
Yeah. Oh, sugar puffs. Oh, I already died? Yeah. Oh, did you say that? Yeah. Oh, sugar puffs.
Oh, no.
So I'm just a ghost, Dad, just sitting here shouting at you things from beyond.
Yeah, it's pretty weird.
Oh, well, look, while we're at it, stop kissing your sisters.
What tongue are you just?
Stop.
Are you just in tongue or just in general?
What's a crazy f*** at all?
Um, Addie was brown haired and mathematically inclined.
Effie was the musician of the family.
Uh, Jessie, Jessie was the baby.
She was very delicate, they said.
Okay. It's like the Spice Girls. Yeah.
Well, you said it.
By early 1890s, Ella managed the farm
and their six cows on her own.
OK.
And Addie worked at a boarding house.
And Jesse went to school.
And Effie and Lizzie lived in town
and worked at a dairy store.
OK.
So in January 1993, Effie told Addie.
1993?
Come on. Oh, sorry grunge was starting
Let me change that. Okay back to 18. I took it back a century. Okay in January 1883
Effie told Addie she had decided to perform at an opera house and thought all the sisters should join her. Oh
So Spice Girls.
Well, you said it.
I mean, so maybe this is one of those stories that you put in suggestions
and it follows your suggestions.
Mmm.
It's one of those.
Mm hmm.
Okay.
Choose my own adventure.
All right.
So the kissing sisters are performing.
Oh, yes, they are.
Well, Addie, Addie, Addie is actually not so sure.
Quote, Effie, there are some people in this town who would try and make it disagreeable
for us.
Hmm.
But Effie replied, quote, that doesn't bother me in the least, Addie.
I am not afraid of them.
Okay.
So she's ready to fucking show, show, show, show it up.
Go showtown.
Sure.
So the Cherry Sisters put together an act, right?
And they're going to perform at Daniel's Opera House in Marion on January 20th.
And they rent it out for $5 a night.
Okay.
And tickets are sold at the local drugstore as, you know, of course, we did. When the drugstore is a night. Okay. And tickets are sold at the local drug store as you know.
Of course.
We did.
When the drug store is a place.
Get yourself an aspirin and a ticket.
Yeah.
Or no, you couldn't, you'd also get like a soda or whatever.
You want a soda pop?
No, I'm not saying they wouldn't.
I'm not actually.
Two soda pops.
I mean, I kind of.
How about a sarsaparilla?
I'm just explaining.
I don't even know how this is working, but I'm just explaining.
Two sarsaparillas, Jeffrey!
No, no, not for me. Not for me. I'm just saying that I-
Jeffrey is making your sodas as we speak.
I was just pointing out that that was something that did happen here. I'm not- I don't even live in this time. I don't know how I got here.
Do you- in a sucker? Uh, no, no. I mean, I'm like intrigued, but no,
because, uh, no, actually. No,
I'm not even looking to
stay here long, so I'm just gonna
I'm gonna go.
In your hotel room?
I mean, I live in the year
2024, so I'm
gonna need to figure out how to get there.
Well, you're never getting back.
I probably need a hotel, but I don't have any money or anything.
And I...
Well, that's a shame.
Looks like we do need a worker here.
So...
No.
Uh...
I...
Need someone to hand out the tickets.
Uh...
I don't mean...
I had to...
And also to clean the cat's asshole.
Whoa.
He's got some problems.
What?
What are you talking... Well, he's got a dirty Whoa. He's got some problems. What?
What are you talking?
He's got a dirty bottom.
He's unable to clean it.
Well, he's supposed to look.
I'm not.
I'm going to try to figure out how to get back to my time.
But the cat stuff sounds crazy.
I mean, the cat should be able to clean it.
I'm not trying to.
If you make money here working for us which I think you will you can
use some of that money to buy tickets to watch the girls kiss out back and they
are sisters yes sir they are sisters she's just such a it's a weird it's okay, I'm gonna yeah, I'll go watch a kiss. I mean, I'm not like mm-hmm
Yeah
Okay, yeah
All right, take the cat with you
I'm the cat really throwing me for a loop and all this cuz I'm kind of like you can't reach oh
He can't well
Yeah spines fused. His spine is fused to what? His spine
is fused. The vertebrae are fused? That's correct. Fused naturally or someone fused
them? Sure. All right. You know what? I'll take one ticket to the Girl Kiss show. And
by the way, a great joke here would be they should call themselves Kiss, but you
wouldn't get that.
What?
Yeah, because that's a...
Okay.
All right.
I'm going to...
That's a real...
You're never going to leave this time.
It's weird that you're saying it like that because you kind of didn't know what my deal
was for a minute.
Anyway, where the fuck are these sarsaparillas by the way?
I don't know what Jeffrey's deal is, but those should be near that minimum.
Jeffrey, this man is being mean to you.
Would you like us to deal with that?
I guess I gotta be him too.
Are you Jeffrey?
Yeah, I was doing the voice because there was no guy, so I didn't know who I wasn't
sure what was going on.
I wanted to help you, but, uh, yeah, I'll just roll.
Okay.
Yeah.
That furler didn't piper says it's still me.
Yeah, I know.
I know. I know.
So they put up a poster that said lovely costumes, rare and sweet music, laughter by the yard.
Yardless. And rumor is that they they wanted to raise money
to go to the Chicago World's Fair,
but they probably just needed money to keep farming.
I mean, it's also 1893, which is a huge depression year.
Sure.
So, on January 21st, 1893,
Ella, Effie, and Jesse make their stage debut.
Okay.
Their hair is painted bright gold.
I can only imagine what their gold paint either looked like back
then or what chemicals were in it. Well they used leftover sign paint.
Okay, so it's not gonna be good for him. There's definitely toxic. The
costumes were said to be equally bizarre. The curtain came up and Ella
performed a self-written ballad, Old Sam Scratch in Blackface.
Oh, I was going to sing it, but now I'm not going to sing it
because that's crazy.
Blackface with blackface with gold hair, by the way.
Oh, my God.
Oh, crikey.
I it's the like.
Performing in, but she'll get canceled if those images ever pop up but
That that to me is what a that's there's many egregious nightmarish things
We do in our past as whites. Yeah, but Jesus performing in black faces
Not great. Yeah
Just so Jesse played the harmonica and saying oh, why did they dig Ma's grave so deep little Nellie?
Effie then saying I am growing blind
Show was just over an hour and the audience cheered and loved it. This was
But the audience is mostly made up of like well-wishers and acquaintances, not strangers.
It's all people they kind of know.
Okay.
So the Cedar Rapids Gazette reviews it, quote, a polished and rich-sharsh affair.
The people of this handsome overgrown village on Indian Creek absolutely crowded and jammed
and pushed and hauled and literally walked over one another in wild efforts to procure seats.
So it's that popular. Come on down to Indian Creek to watch Blackface.
The reviewer did say they were good but didn't say they were good but didn't say they were bad
either. He just kind of didn't mention the... No, I think when you're kind of reviewing a show, it's important to not mention the performance.
No, I wouldn't. Just the facts.
But just bring up whether or not they're bad boys.
Yeah, yeah.
Quote, the sisters had a keen appreciation
of Uncle Sam's legal tender.
The public wanted fun, the public got it.
The young ladies wanted money and they got it.
They made $200, which is about 7,000 today.
Seven million today.
Oh, okay.
It's good night.
It's a good haul.
So with that success.
Probably a lot of kissing backstage over that.
A lot of kissing backstage, yeah.
So they planned another show, and they booked Green's Opera House in Cedar Rapids.
Now, this is one of the largest theaters between Chicago and Denver.
Different audience. Rapids. Now, this is one of the largest theaters between Chicago and Denver, different audience,
mostly very distinguished people in Cedar Rapids. They're used to seeing talent like
Lillian Russell, and they are not entertained by the sisters.
They must be real nervous before the show. You're like, well, let me know if I missed
any spots for the blackface. I'm about to go out there and sing about how shallow mama's grave is dug.
Jesus Christ. They throw cigars, food and anything else they can get their hands on.
And people are just like, why are they throwing hot dogs and cigars at us?
Yeah, well, they were singing. Anytime they sang, a reporter quote, Miss Elphie had hardly
raised her voice when the uproar began
and the noise and confusion soon drove her behind the curtain
after repeated efforts on her part to quiet the house.
Pieces of tenderloin, liver and other articles
rained upon the stage.
When they started.
Yeah, that's a good way to get meat, right?
Yeah, it's great.
When they started breaking up furniture to throw, the manager
turned off the lights and told everyone to leave.
Jesus Christ, your breakup furniture bad is really.
That's not good.
No, it's the bottom.
Yeah. So the review this time in the Gazette is very harsh.
Quote, such unlimited gall as was exhibited last night at
Green's Opera House is past the understanding of ordinary
mortals.
Their knowledge of the stage is worse than none at all.
If some indefinable act of modesty could not have warned
them that they were acting the parts of monkeys, it does seem
like these,
like the overshoes thrown at them would have conveyed the idea in a more substantial manner.
Jesus Christ.
So the reviewer is now just kind of taken.
Now he's gone.
Different, different. It seems like it'll be the same reviewer. I mean,
how many reviewers can they have?
Could be different.
So yeah, it could be. So, but now he's kind of taking cues from the audience, right?
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
So the sisters are angry.
They do not like this review.
And they go to the Gazette office.
And they demand a retraction, which reviewers, it's not really a thing. Yeah,
right. Okay. So they talk and the editors tell them to write
their own letter and they'll publish it. So they did. And
and they wrote it like it was from the Gazette. They okay,
smart quote, the young ladies were refined and modest in
every respect and their entertainment
was as good as any that has been given in the city
by home people.
By home people.
Home people from home.
The homes.
Ah.
And they weren't done.
Three days later, they charged the editor with libel.
They did? Addie did, yeah.
She's like, it's libelous what you wrote.
Wow.
And the Gazette, so somehow they come to this idea of having a sham trial at a theater,
an opera house.
The girls did.
No, I think the Gazette did and the girls went for it.
Okay. Because it's going girls went for it. Okay.
Because it's going to lead to publicity.
Sure, it's an idea.
Something.
I know what I'll put on my face.
Don't.
Now, authorities said that that's where the trial was going to take place.
So it's kind of like, it seems like it's real, but it's not, you know,
they're trying to make it seem like it's real.
Sure.
But most people think it's not real.
And they think the sisters in the paper colluding,
which is what's happening.
And the paper encourages its readers to all go.
They probably were getting a part of the door, right?
Sure.
So it was held in March, 1893,
and the theater manager first asked the audience
to restrain
themselves and said the sisters were fellow citizens.
So let's...
Right?
Calm down.
Plus they're gonna kiss.
These girls kiss each other and they're related.
The crowd yelled, quote, no, no, not for a minute.
We are not gonna behave ourselves.
Sure.
So Lizzie and Effie came out and were met with kazoos horns and whistles
Boy kazoos times are just I kind of wish kazoos times were back
You do until you live in it. Yeah, and then you're like no
No
Do you think a lot of kids don't know what kazoos are today I
Do you think a lot of kids don't know what kazoos are today? I would imagine that there are a lot of people who, yeah, the younger people don't know what
a kazoo is.
Because I think that things like the phone has replaced so many things.
Yes.
I know one guy who whistles still, and his name is Luke Simmons.
Of course he does.
And he whistles all the time.
And I'm like, what is he doing?
No, he's like he's like a woodshop teacher from the 50s.
Yeah. He's just walking around just like,
and I'm like, buddy, I'm like, I kind of missed it until it started happening.
And I'm like, good, fuck this and kazoos.
So they the girls are speaking,
but everyone's yelling and it's so loud,
no one can hear them.
And in the end, the editor in this sham trial
is found guilty, and they sentence him
to go to their farm and feed all the animals,
and then he was to allow one of the girls,
he was gonna be allowed to choose
one of the girls to marry.
That's the punishment.
What?
Yeah.
What is going on?
This was a sham trial.
But once that's over, the next day,
the Gazette wrote that it was worried
the Cherry Sisters would harm Iowa.
So they're right back at it.
The Gazette's right back at it.
Quote, these girls intend to go to Chicago
and give an exhibition. That might
be a great deal of fun for people at the World's Fair city, but wouldn't it be a black eye
for Iowa? Black Iowa. Blywa. Sure. Now that they're more famous, the sisters were offered
a night at the Burtis Opera House in Davenport, so they're moving up. They're ready to step up.
The Davenport Democrat wrote that the audience
could bring anything they could hide in their coat
to throw at them.
So now it's becoming kind of like wrestling.
Yes, it's a thing.
It's a, the show isn't the show.
The show is...
The show is being, right.
The theater had the paper state that quote,
revolvers had to be left at the door and rocks...
Oh come on!
Why, what the hell!
I was gonna kill Addie!
If I can't shoot a lady, what's the point about it?
Take it!
I was gonna kill some of the sisters!
I'm gonna go shoot a lady outside then.
That's better. Also rocks
that would not pass through a two inch ring were to be prohibited. Okay, this is pretty large rocks
still. You could throw a rock under two inches. That makes me feel like you could throw any rock.
Any, yeah that's not gonna trace them. That seems terrible actually now that could throw any rock. Any, yeah, that seems... They're not gonna trace them.
That seems terrible, actually, now that I think about it.
Well, that's why back in the day, they used to have a five-day waiting period before you
could get a rock.
Yes.
So...
But only two sisters appeared at the show because the three others had to stay at the
farm and take
care of the family cow who was sick. Okay. The audience wasn't too poorly
behaved a few months later at the Grand Opera House in Dubuque it was much worse.
The opening song was met with thrown potatoes, onions, tin cans, and cabbages.
Gonna make a soup. Okay. OK, think about how hard it
a cabbage hurts.
A cabbage is a big, thick,
mean head.
It's fucking you're not kidding around when you throw in a cabbage.
You know, no, it's not rotten.
We're not talking about rotten fucking food here.
We're talking about a heavy fucking cabbage.
Cabbage stick. Nice thick cabbage.
Someone later shot a fire extinguisher into one of the sister's faces and she fled drenched.
Jesus Christ. I can't imagine what was in fire extinguishers back then. I think it was just
water. Oh, that's better than now. Pressurized water. The other
sister came out holding a shotgun but was driven
back by a quote, volley of turnips.
She got... that's just... come on. Know your place. I would be able to withstand a turnip
toss to fire my gun if I wanted to. Turnips are hard too. Bullets are hard.
I think you'd be a big crybaby and would not like the turnips and you would not stay
there.
Look, first of all, I know exactly what I'm getting with a turnip.
I would know they were hard and I would still be able to kill the audience that was ruining
my show.
You sound like you just fell off the turnip truck.
I would also sing the song turn up for what?
This got really bad.
It's got pretty bad. It's got pretty bad.
It's with the bad boys.
So then someone threw an old ten wash boiler on stage, which is basically
I was just getting rid of it.
Isn't this a swap mate?
That means somebody brought it in.
Yeah.
And somebody was like, you can only bring stones that'll fit through this two inch ring.
And they're like, can I bring a washer?
Okay.
Wash the wash tub.
Can I bring my tub?
Will it fit through this ring hole?
The theater manager had hired the Marshall and seven of his men to keep order, but they
didn't do anything.
Okay. And as the sisters fled, as the sisters flee the theater, their carriage is hit by eggs and stones throw by young boys outside. And F.E. afterwards says the whole event causes her health
to suffer. And she was quote confined to her couch for weeks with nervous prostration.
Which you've had.
So she, yeah, I would get bong hits.
That's what that says to me, bong hits.
Bong hits will keep you on your couch with anxiety.
You are a bad boy.
I'll tell you what, I'm not the good variety.
So the mayor orders an investigation and
Witnesses were questioned and
They came up with an eight page report
What is the question about the behavior of the audience towards the women? I think how it all happened sure and where people in danger and everything right?
Most of the blame was put on the publicity
Because the publicity was like come and throw
shit and yell at them.
Right.
Okay.
And so that leads the crowd to believe obnoxious behavior is not just tolerated, but they expect
it.
Yep.
And the theater manager did nothing to stop the disturbance.
Uh, the marshal was admonished for handling the supervision of hand hand giving supervision of his men over to the manager to to choose
But the police were not blamed for the whole thing
Cool as usual so that so the sisters get this they the report comes out and they don't agree
So they sue the city of Dubuque
Okay, but the suit fails, But they definitely enjoy suing.
It's one of their things.
We like kissing and suing.
And I like blackface.
Stop saying that.
Jesus.
Yeah, please.
So the pattern of what this is is now established.
Give a performance.
See good ticket sales.
There's audience behaving really badly.
Then act outraged, maybe sue,
and then go right back to the same thing next show.
Okay.
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They keep touring Iowa, Jefferson, La Porte City, Grinnell, all the greats. They hit Kansas,
they go to Illinois, and then the owner of the Olympia Theater in New York City is very in debt.
He tried to produce operas,
but he tried to produce them in English,
so nobody wanted to see him.
So he thinks hiring the Cherry sisters is gonna help.
He's hoping the worst act in the world
will get him out of bankruptcy, basically.
So he sends his theater manager to Iowa to talk to them,
but all the sisters are on tour except for Lizzie.
And then she negotiates and signs an agreement
for all the sisters except for Ella to go to New York,
make $100 a week, also railroad fare and hotel included.
But then when the other girls hear about it,
they're like, that's a fucking terrible deal.
Because they were making way more than that.
They were making like a lot of money right a week
but but they're like well she signed a fucking contract so we got to honor
that yeah we got to honor it so East Coast audiences are fucking thrilled
they've been hearing about this they've been hearing about this show and all the sisters all five perform at the Olympia Theatre and
okay Jesse first show Jesse sings a solo called corn juice corn juice corn juice
make it open on the loose you got corn juice corn juice juice, juice of corn.
Do you feel like you cheated a little bit?
Why?
Addie wrote an essay which she recited titled.
Corn juice.
Corn juice is very important to all of us if you think about it.
It was titled the mystery of the 19th century.
Corn juice. A story about corn juice. Dave, corn juice is one of the greatest things I've ever heard.
It might be what the episode should be titled. Yeah. Corn juice. A song called corn juice.
I mean, everybody wants to hear that song.
Corn juice. Everybody, I was trying to think what would unite us in this time of great divide. And then it came to me when I was sitting on the train. I was in the caboose. And I started thinking about corn juice.
Corn juice.
Corn juice. It's the kind of juice that is on the loose.
Okay, I mean, I like that. Let's...
Corn juice.
Yep.
Corn juice.
Okay.
That's kind of it.
Yeah.
No, we need another verse.
You could go a bunch of different ways with it.
Well, let's hear another verse.
Okay. Think about it. Think about the juice of corn.
That is like the crown of thorns.
Think about the corn juice.
That's something I would put in a noose.
I'm gonna kill the corn juice and make it nice.
Do it once and then I do it twice.
I like corn juice the way you do. I want
corn juice one and two. Give me a can or is it in a box? I don't know but this
liquid sure rocks. How do I get it? Where is it from? I'll suck corn juice like it's a bunch of... We'll be right back.
Oh, I like that.
They did a skit called The Gypsy's Warning.
Oh, Christ.
I'm glad I laid it on the line for corn juice.
So when the show starts, it's just quiet.
People are kind of unable to comprehend the terrible performance that they are seeing.
It's that bad.
Yeah, it is that bad.
But they suddenly start screaming and yelling at the sisters
and just basically enjoying the worst show they've ever seen. Sure.
So it's like the room. Yes, it is exactly the room. They hiss, they, they boo,
they throw rotten vegetables.
New York critics thought Iowans took the show seriously.
Iowans took the show seriously. Mm hmm.
So once again, yeah.
Yeah, I bet.
Where where much show is garbage?
How could they enjoy this?
One one wrote they were, quote, probably respected at home and ought to have stayed there.
Right.
Critics now.
So the show is going on for days
and days and days and the critics are competing basically
for who could write the most brutal review.
Right, taking the bait.
The New York Times called them the freaks from Iowa.
Nice.
And said, quote, three length figures and one short
and thick walked awkwardly to the center of the stage.
They were all dressed in shapeless red gowns made by themselves almost surely and the fat sister carried a
base drop.
None of them had shown a sign of nervousness nor a trace of ability for their chosen work.
Okay, really singling out the heavy one.
Yeah, really going for it.
The three sisters are terrible, but the fat one is awful!
Holy crap, one of them's fat!
One of them's real fat!
The New York Tribune, quote, Miss Jessie narrowly escaped to being pretty, but her sisters never
were in any such danger.
Wowee zowee.
Good going. So they're just going for it. but her sisters never were in any such danger. Wowie zowie.
They're just going for it.
Jesus.
New Yorkers pack the theater every night.
Twelve days after opening, the New York Herald reported the owner had paid off most of his debts.
Because they're that bad.
They're that bad. They played to packed houses for six
weeks. Wow. And reviewers are like, but the show's dog shit. Bad. Audience threw rotten
vegetables out on the entire time. Newspapers reported the city's vegetable sellers could not
meet the demand of their regular customers because so many were being bought by theater.
Hate vegetables. Okay. Hate vegetables. Hate vegetables.
Once the New York run was over, the girls headed for California, stopping in towns and
cities along the way.
After playing Foster's Opera House in Des Moines, the Iowa State Register ripped them. Quote, it was the most insipid, stale, weary, tiresome, contentible two hours
work we have ever seen on the stage.
Every man who laughed or jeered or hooted or how did them reviled himself?
Well, maybe you should just take a plank of wood and try to crack one of them with it.
Yeah, you could. You can do whatever you want.
You can shoot him.
You can hit him with a I drowned Addy.
You can hit him with a pipe.
Yeah, try to explode them.
The Montezuma Republican reported the owner and editor of the register was at the show
and he fought a vegetable duel with Lafayette Young, a future senator.
So the owner and editor of the paper that just attacked them
was at the show.
Right.
Dueling.
Having a vegetable off.
The owner accidentally hit Young with a cabbage he was throwing
at the sisters and then the two men started throwing vegetables
at each other and another man who knew them had to step in
to stop the vegetable fight.
Sure. And when the curtain came down, quote, they were all three wrapped in each other's embrace weeping.
They had to have been ship faced, right?
I don't even that's not even an excuse, though.
I mean, what are they even?
I don't know.
Hey, guys, we've never seen a reaction like this to anything we've done.
Okay.
Are they want to hear corn juice again?
Well, if you want to hear corn juice again, that's no problem.
Corn juice, corn juice.
Don't look upset, it's corn juice.
Corn juice, corn juice, corn juice.
We got corn juice, and it's different this time,
because it's got corn juice, and it is juice of corn.
We got corn juice to the juice of corn, and it is just have corn. We got corn juice to the juice of corn
and corn juice and the corn, it's corn juice.
All right, that was good.
Yeah, even I quit on that.
So they keep doing shows and the,
sorry, young Finnegan wants a ride.
The sisters keep on doing shows and critics keep attacking me and inventing new ways to
turn a phrase to attack them.
Billy Hamilton of the Odebult Chronicle quote, Effie is an old jade of 50 summers.
Jesse is a frisky filly of 40 and Addie the flower of the family, capering monstrosity
of 35.
Their long, skinny arms, equipped with talons
at the extremities, swung mechanically.
Come on.
And another way, frantically, at the suffering audience,
the mouths of their wretched features
opened like caverns and sounds like the wailing of
damned souls issued there from.
Their skeletons with wings.
Awful.
Effie is spaveened.
I don't know what that is.
Spaveened.
Addie is string-hauled, and Jesse, the only one who showed her stockings, has legs with
calves as classic in their outlines as the curves of a broom handle.
Good God.
Really just relentless.
Yeah, it's not.
It's pretty brutal.
I mean, people just are it's like it's almost like the the
reviewers feel like they're taking part of it, but it's much
more brutal because it's not part of the show.
It's like, yeah, attacking them.
They're taking their features and they're, you know, by the way, also just giving them
great press, right?
I mean, this is why people are going to see the show because they're heels.
Yeah.
When the Des Moines leader reprints that attack, the sisters sue the paper for $25,000.
Okay.
Judge Bishop of the County District Court
asked to see a performance of different pieces of their act.
So that's hilarious.
Well, I suppose the only way for me to know how this goes
is for you guys to do your entire act.
What's this corn juice song? Excited to hear about this.
So once he saw the act, he decided for the paper.
That's so funny.
The sisters then appealed to the state Supreme Court. And there, the editor said the show
was quote, the most ridiculous performance I ever saw. There was no orchestra there. The
pianist left after the thing was half over, she could not stand
the racket and left. So the court rejects the appeal or
sides with the paper. Okay. And all this litigation put a dent in
the Cherry Sisters finances. Okay.
a dent in the Cherry Sisters finances. Okay.
Hold on.
Sorry.
He needs a...
He needs his daddy.
He needs his daddy.
He's 72.
Wow.
Yeah.
But the trial, again, as you said, brought them more publicity.
Yep.
And they keep touring.
But at the turn of the century, the tastes of theater goers
are changing now.
Vaudeville shows are becoming.
So this is all on Vaudeville, right?
These are all Vaudeville shows.
So Vaudeville shows are becoming more and more sophisticated now.
And they just seem kind of, you know, it's just like.
Silly. Yeah. Right. educated now and they just seem kind of, you know, it's just like silly.
Yeah.
Right.
They're being booked less and less and at less popular venues.
Then they're at a gig in Hot Springs, Arkansas in 1903 and Jessie dies.
She has both malaria and typhoid at the same time.
He's putting a lot on the hot springs curing for you to...
By the way, it's not great.
She's 33. That's pretty young.
Just like Belushi. Same way.
He also died of, Belushi died of cocaine and malaria.
Hot spring.
Yeah.
Hot spring.
Yeah.
So, nobody really seemed to notice that she died.
It wasn't like anybody really seemed to care.
Her funeral was in Cedar Rapids on October 7th.
There was just a tiny mention in the personals
of the Cedar Rapids Gazette.
Effie said the joy of their life was gone.
And with their little sister's death,
they stopped touring, they're done.
Okay.
Over the next 11 years. They do seven shows Wow
They must have been horrible
Addie adding Effie open a bakery which specialized in cherry pies
Get it
mmm, nope
They're the cherry sisters. Ah
Yes, yes, sir. Yes
Sisters. Ah, yes. Yes, sir. Yes.
So that was during World War I. And Lizzie did the baking and Effie managed the business. And the Sisters ended up making living quarters at a part of the bakery. So they live in there, baking pies.
Sure. Sure. Q warrant the song cherry pie. It's a great
song. It's one of the best. It did a lot for women's rights
if memory serves to 100%. Yeah, it was one of the biggest.
Yeah. The suffragettes. So the baker, the bakery is fairly
successful. One customer said they did not like to discuss
their success on Broadway. So people would keep trying to ask
him about it and they would just kind of not want to talk about it.
No, we make pies now.
So they did try some comebacks. Now this time just at E&F. No one else wants to do it.
And in 1918, they appeared as a special feature with the Williams stock company at the Majestic Theatre
The Cedar Rapids regrets was a
Cedar Rapids regrets is a great paper. Isn't that a good paper? I think we should
I think we should start it open it. Everything's negative
Whoops murder is saddened.
So the Cedar Rapids Gazette now takes it easy on it calls them
distinguished local artists and the paper reports ticket sales
are so brisk the theater had to take
measures to stop scalpers from buying up huge blocks and reselling them. Sure. Right. So that,
yeah. They have to step in. Yeah. Did like, like. Plus now they're kissing. I don't know if you guys
have heard that. Imagine if someone did that now. Yeah. Strange. Yeah. The Cherry Sisters told the paper they did not want charity and they
wanted their performance judged on its merits. We're not looking for chari-ity. Oof. Oof.
Oof. After the Gazette critic wrote that they, quote, were applauded last evening instead
of having things thrown at them. So it's like they're older now, right?
It's like...
Still a great time to throw some tenderloin at one of them.
Yeah. Big slap in the face.
Chuck some chuck their way.
Big old piece of meat. It's very possible no one wants to throw vegetables because they're just too old.
Or maybe they just feel bad for them. It's maybe it's a nostalgia show also so she's like also
maybe the audience is older so they're like I don't feel like throwing anything
yeah I could see the theater being like please no more meat the variety wrote
that the audience was job joby Lee hissing okay so after the successful show
the sisters returned to running the bakery.
But it fails during the Depression.
So they go back to the stage.
And in 1924, Effie runs for mayor of Cedar Rapids.
Her platform includes an 8 PM curfew for children
and a 9 PM curfew for adults in the winter.
Come on. What are you talking about? What? You fucking lost everybody. Excuse me, I'm
a grown ass man. You need to go home to your bed. That's it. You're done. You need to go
home and get into your bed. She promised to look into the garbage problem, which she said
should be hauled away, quote, before it walks away by itself. Sure. She wanted to ban profanity on the streets. You can't do that. Okay. And
require swimmers to use more modest bathing suits. Interesting. And she said, too many parks were destroying the moral fiber of the community.
Quote, I like beautiful parks, but the young folk are going to them times when they shouldn't
and in a way that they shouldn't.
There's a time to go to a park and there's a way to be when you are at the park at that
time.
And most young people don't understand when you're supposed to go to a park and the decorum of a park.
You can't just do anything in a park.
I go around four, we throw the ball around.
Oh my God, get, Jesus God.
By ball I mean testicle, the one-
Oh my God, no, what?
Hey, hey.
Look.
I will vote for you if you kiss your sister.
Ah, well we we already kissed.
It's a pact we made.
Do it again.
I just don't love your ball stuff from before.
That was crazy.
Tongues.
Uh, it's not like that.
We're just like...
Mm-hmm.
I mean, it kind of is, I guess.
Yeah, it is.
But we're not gonna kiss for you.
We just kiss when we're off the stage.
Look, what's the matter? You never heard of kissing sisters doing a show together get over it Jack I
Have not
Mmm. All right fine. Yeah
Have you heard of the whoa? Oh, holy shit. I made corn juice. Oh god. So did I we're the bad boys
Oh God, so did I all got in the past,
but she said stories about them using a screen
to block vegetables were completely untrue.
We would never, we are not screeners.
We let it hit us.
We absolutely, what we say is if they throw it,
let us have it.
And I'm not just talking about the green, yes.
I'll take a cabbage to the face.
Absolutely, and I have taken a cabbage to the face.
To the face.
And I have taken a cabbage to the face.
I can throw carrots at my ass and Brussels sprouts at my hooters and I'll stop.
By the way, we're kissing.
You know what?
Yeah, you know what else you've taken to the face?
Huh?
My lips.
That's right.
I don't know if you heard, but we're sisters who kiss.
We're like the Marx brothers if they jerked each other off. Oh
My god, that would be a crazy movie. Oh, that'd be great
I'm jacking them off. Why don't I jacking them on how come if something's coming out? I'm jacking them off
I should be jacking them on anyway
I never yeah, I never honked a horn so loud as this guy's horn the other day
I was horny gave that guy a horn enough a harpo
Of 10,000 votes, uh-huh. She got 805. That's great. Good for her. It's under that's under landslide
Percent. Oh
No, it's under no%. No, it's...
It's 8%.
It's 8%.
She ran again two years later, and this time her platform was cleanliness, thriftiness,
and morality, and this time she got under 500 votes.
No more parks?
I don't know.
I felt like my message before was dog shit.
I don't know.
I could kiss all my sisters.
Good Lord. I mean, I've said I'll
get rid of parks. I've kissed my sisters. These people just don't know what they want. What the
fuck do you want? You people are so confusing. In early 1990, sorry, in early 1933, they did a show
in Des Moines. And when the theater manager tried to pick them up at the station in an old two horse
And when the theater manager tried to pick them up at the station in an old two-horse
Carriage Addy demanded a conventional taxi at the theater She also made the theater post notices warning other performers not to smoke swear or in any way
Annoy the sisters. Hmm
Very particular for a show that's horrible. Look, we've got to stay focused to bomb
The only other act on the show was a burlesque.
Hello, I'm Smokey the Cussin Sex Clown.
Fuck.
It was a burlesque queen and her 10 sweethearts.
Oh boy. That sounds. What is going on there? That sounds risque. burlesque queen and her ten sweethearts.
That sounds not there.
That sounds risky. Good Lord.
Oh, wow. Yeah.
The register reported, quote, business boomed and the audience booed.
Late in 1934, the Gazette got a letter from Carl White, the Cherry Sisters
manager. He said the sisters were appearing with burlesque acts throughout the country
and were again making, quote, the big dough because of his genius.
What was his genius?
Just getting him into burlesque shows. OK. Smart.
He also said he proposed to Effie, who was twice his age,
and that she had not yet declined.
I've got good news.
I'm on pending.
I am in limbo.
She's not passed.
Have you heard of purgatory?
There's a good chance she'll answer.
You know it's good when you get on one knee and say, will you marry me, and she doesn't
say anything.
She just ran out of the room.
I got a pretty good feeling about this.
He also said she wouldn't let him speak to another girl,
forbade him from drinking anything stronger than milk.
Which is, I don't know if you've ever gotten milk hammered.
You could do it if you drink enough.
I have.
Drink six to seven gallons, you get sick.
Yeah, vomit.
Wasted.
The sisters denied everything he said he turned out to just been one of their many managers they had hired six managers in the last seven years
but he was correct that they were traveling the country and doing shows and in 1934 they did a
show in new york on a bill with gracie allen and talula bankhead they performed all over iowa
on a bill with Gracie Allen and Tallulah Bankhead. They performed all over Iowa and Chicago, San Luis, and Minneapolis. After a show in Des Moines at an auditorium barn dance,
they were interviewed. It was like a radio station put on the barn dance. So they were interviewed.
And during the interview, they denied they'd ever performed behind a screen to stop vegetables.
Boy, that's really hung up on me.
That's sort of like the steroids in baseball.
Now what about these claims that you all are not actually
getting pelted with vegetables at all,
but you've got a screen in front of you?
We just want to once and for all extinguish that BS.
We've been hit with every vegetable.
Well, I don't know, you know, ladies look pretty clean
for a group of girls who've just been hit
with a farmer's market.
It's it's got to be like a vaudeville thing, right?
Like it's not it wouldn't be authentic if they were hiding from the vegetable.
No, it wouldn't be because that'd be like, especially if that's why you went there.
Yeah. You were like, well, my turnips didn't even hit them.
Yeah, true. Yeah.
Through radishes at them. but it didn't even.
By the way, such an easy one to know, right?
It's not like screens were invisible back then.
Yeah.
Just be like, oh yeah, it stopped
before it hit any of them.
They'd be all over the stage, the vegetables.
Leaving there like, boy, I tell you, there's something strange.
I feel like they got a force field around them
or something like that.
Them women are magic.
A lot of my baits didn't even make contact with them.
I don't know what they got.
And they swear to God it's not a screen.
Ella died in 1934.
And then Lizzie died in 1936.
Her personal assets were $45 and a quarter interest
in the family farm, which was now
involved in litigation.
OK.
Their claim was dubious.
The claim they were making, whatever it was.
I mean, they were always suing, so it
was just another fucking thing.
Right.
Effie and Addy were living in what
was left of the estate on the farm.
Okay.
Which was just the basement.
Nice.
I guess it's just us.
Well, times have changed.
Let's kiss.
Basement girls.
You're my basement cherry.
They were taken to the County Poor Farm in the winter of 1934.
Poor Farm?
Yeah.
That's like for indigent, you know, vagrant types.
So these last two sisters struggled on into the 1940s.
They were moving from place to place in Cedar Rapids and then Adi had a cerebral hemorrhage at 83
Wow, he believes me into 83. Yeah, right kiss me
I made it cuz of the kisses. Kiss me you fool
In 1934 Effie died of heart failure and both were buried in the Linwood Cemetery Cedar Rapids
The New York Times wrote a full column obituary for Effie.
A later editorial in the Times called the sisters, quote,
one of the strangest episodes in American vaudeville.
We're welcoming anyone to the funeral
who wants to throw trash at the sisters.
Quote, during the 10 years when they were on the stage,
the sisters must have had to fight hard
to keep from learning something had to fight hard to keep
from learning something about dramatic technique or to keep from putting into practice what
they couldn't help learning.
Maybe the Cherry sisters knew better than the public what was really going on.
Be this as it may, they left behind an impressionable memory and they gave more pleasure to the
audiences than did many a performer who was merely almost good. But the biggest thing they left was precedent.
In the case of Cherry v. Des Moines, the sisters appealed to the Iowa Supreme Court, who ruled,
quote, the editor of a newspaper has the right, if not the duty of publishing fair
and reasonable comments, no matter how severe. And if it's a public figure, quote, if one
makes himself ridiculous in his public performances, he may be ridiculed. And the case has become
a landmark for freedom of the press and is still cited in arguments about libel and fair
use. So, so freedom to basic, yeah, fair, right. It is fair use Wow. And it's still cited in arguments about libel and fair use.
So freedom to basic, yeah, fair, right, it is fair use.
So basically, it's the freedom to just be like, that sucked.
Yeah.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Can you imagine what would be on YouTube if this didn't happen?
Right.
Oh, my lord.
And like, the reason I can call someone an idiot in Australia without getting sued
is because of precedent like this, like idiots like you're like, well, I mean, you can call
a guy an idiot.
Yeah.
You know, you did often when we were just there.
Yeah, me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Publicly.
And yeah.
And we kissed a bunch.
A lot.
A lot.
Kissing. Yep. Well, it's a bunch. A lot. A lot.
Kissing.
Yep.
Well, it's a part of the show.
Yeah.
Offstage.
We should point out to people now that the show is pretty scripted.
Yeah.
Some of the shows are just doing The Wizard of Oz, and there's a lot of kissing.
Yeah.
A lot of kissing.
A lot of kissing.
The...
I can't remember the fucking word, um, sources, the sources, the cherry
sisters by Stephen fuller in Iowa history magazine, uh, the shaming of the cherry sisters,
how vaudeville's worst act fought for fame and respect by Jack L high, uh, NPR and the
AV club.
Wow.
Well, yo mama.
It's certainly there is a lot of like, you can see a lot of parallels to today because
it's like there are a lot of things that you watch that you watch because they're bad.
Like, yeah.
More wrestling is a great example.
Yeah.
Wrestling is especially the heel.
You know, it's like very much like very much like the, you love to hate,
but also when you're able to be interactive
and throw things at people,
I mean, assuming they're not bringing a goddamn screen,
which just chaps my hide, but you are like,
even now with social media, it's like,
you almost kind of like, I'm obsessed with Krist media, it's like, you know, like you almost kind of like, like
I'm obsessed with like Kristi Noem's Twitter because you're like, man, you're a train wreck.
Like there is that impulse inside of us to watch the terrible and kind of enjoy it maybe
more than the good.
Yeah.
You know, it's like bad stand up.
That's why people love the bad boys stuff.
Yeah, the bad boys stuff.
That's why people come back to the...
By the way, we are the dollop, but just so people know, after 10 years, we're the Bad
Boys.
Yeah.
We're bad.
On the naughty network.
On the naughty network, we're the Bad Boys.
So sorry if you missed the old version, but that's not us.
Now we have an edge.
Yeah, we're the Bad Boys.
And we are bad.
I mean, why don't you tell the audience the worst thing you did last week?
Would you bad ass?
Worst thing I did?
Yeah, the meanest, rudest, baddest thing that you did.
I took some milk that wasn't bad and poured it in the sink.
Bam.
Why?
This doesn't make any sense.
Cause someone wanted it.
Someone was gonna drink it.
Who?
Look, the Inquisition is-
This just seems weird.
Was someone in your house?
Yeah, yeah. Who Was someone in your house? Yeah. Yeah.
Who did you?
Your wife?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a weird one.
I also jerked off in front of the dog.
Hey, gang, we're the bad boys, so just get out of the way if you don't love it.
Good Lord.
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