The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 639 - Charles Poston - Live

Episode Date: June 25, 2024

Comedians Gareth Reynolds and Dave Anthony examine Arizona great Charles Poston.  Recorded live in Phoenix with guests Eduardo Espinosa and Rivers Langely.  Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources   Rocket Money Helix Sleep Try First Leaf

Alright everybody, so listen as you probably know I travel a lot a ton always on the road always staying in places and If I ever get to choose for myself, I always choose Airbnb over a hotel. It's just better. It's more like a home Anyway, so look I also recently started thinking like while I'm gone Can I turn my place into an Airbnb and the answer is yes It can be as easy as putting your place up, then you make a little more money on the side, just generate it from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you can use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think.

Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. The dollop is brought to you by Rocket Money. Rocket Money, of course, is an amazing service that helps you find subscriptions. You didn't know we're there. Help you even lower some bills that you have, like at Rocket Money, they helped me lower my internet bill by like $300 and like we always say rocket money gonna save you pocket money you got do we give you some more pocket money rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your

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I don't think that's part of the service. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Rocket Money is mostly just about helping you with bills. For me, Rocket Money, I think I got rid of three subscriptions altogether. And then of course, lowered my internet, which is the best, awesome. Rocket Money has over five million users

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Rocketmoney.com slash dollop. That's rocketmoney.com slash dollop. Rocketmoney.com slash dollop. Dave, with rocket money, you're going to have a little bit more pocket money. And now we're going to play a live episode from Phoenix, Arizona. How's it going, everybody? What's up? Fuck yeah. Dave thinks Carrie like one. We have some guests. What'd you say? What'd you say? Dave thinks Carrie Lake won. We have some guests. What'd you say?

Uh... What'd you say? Huh? What'd you fucking say? What did you hear? Huh? Huh? Who would have thought that a lake would make it in Arizona, for fuck's sake?

Odds are slim. You're listening to the Dolap! This is American History Podcast where each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to my valet. Oh, fuck you, Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. We have, um, we did this once in Australia, and it was fucking awesome. It worked really well. No pressure. So we are gonna tonight have two guests.

Gary Lake! And Kirsten Sinema! Oh, shut the fuck up! We got him! Kirsten's in the bathroom. I was trying to think of someone famous from Arizona, but I couldn't. Oh, come on, Dan Majerle, let's party. Who?

Dan Majerle. Who's Dan Majerle? White Thunder. I don't know, I don't watch the basketball. Who? Dave, I miss the way that you are furious that we don't know that David Spade is from here isn't safe. Is David Spade. Dave, I miss the way that you are furious that we don't know that David Spade is from here isn't it?

Is David Spade from here? Oh my god that's so exciting. David Spade. David Spade. Oh, Arizona's own David Spade. You know, I guess I forgot his first two names, Arizona's own. David Spade. We have two guests.

The first guest, he's part of the Mexican dollop, which is El Dollop. El Dollop. Our spinoff, and he's a hilarious comic. Give it up for Eduardo Espinosa. hilarious comic and give it up for Eduardo Espinosa. Watch out, Dave's been drinking. What do you need? You need a beer? He also has his own podcast.

Well, we don't talk about his other podcast. Oh, no, that's fine. We don't need to bring that up. Legend, legendary, legendary. Yeah, you can try to say it in Spanish. I'm not going to about his other podcast. Oh no that's fine. We don't need to bring that up. Legendary. Yeah you can try to say it in Spanish. I'm not gonna say it in Spanish. Legendary. Legendary. Legendario. Legendario. Oh come on you show off. He can speak two languages so he's better. I'm trying anyway. Like most people in Mexico City who are white. Yeah it's's crazy yeah like I mean we have enough white people and then... Don't ask that more white folk. I mean I can't really say

that much because I kind of look like I belong with you guys. Yeah you guys is very hurtful too. Our people have been through so much. Yep. By the way the Mick Ultra is gonna help that look. Yeah I feel like I look like I'm you know how many people... By the way, the Mick Ultra is going to help that look. Yeah. I feel like I look like I'm, you know, the product of... Us? Both of you. Like our boy. Right? That's our boy!

We made him! We mixed our semen with a Michelob Ultra and then... Yeah, and now came a white Mexican. A Wexican. Holy shit. We prefer the term Wexicans, but thank you. Wexicans. Shit, we should work. We prefer the term white seconds, but thank you white second shit I fucked up already. I like mites our second guest is a hilarious comedian I also does a lot of research for the dollop he is fucking hilarious give it up for Rivers Langley ladies and gentlemen

We took a beer yeah have a beer have a water assortment of beers you can take one There you go. That's five dollars whenever you get a second. Five dollars. Five dollars each. Rivers actually did the research for this episode. So he's gonna be the first one. He's gonna be the first guy who knows the subject before we... April 25th, 1825! 25 In the year of our Lord J town This place loves jet skis Have you guys heard about J town

Not in Mexico. Okay. It's uh, well cuz from seisou town or Jesus Pueblo. Is that Dave? Well, he's close enough. I'll take it. That's true. Yeah. I think you mean Jesus Pueblo, but it's fine. Yeah, you know. Jesus Pueblo.

Donde esta other whites? Look around. Okay, I guess I'll start. The banter's over. Charles, oh, it went off. Charles Debril Poston was born near Elizabethtown, Kentucky. Nobody fucking cares. Wow.

This is a big name in your state. That's the Kentucky that threw everyone off. Yeah. They come from other places first He was the middle of temple and Judith's seven children Temple yeah, it's a guy just it means everything's gonna be fucked like if your dad was named temple. Yeah, I had no chance Temple was a... It's getting harder to hear. Yeah.

He was a printer and he was a newspaper editor and the Postons lived moderately, but a lot better off than other residents of Hardin County. Charles later claimed that his father once gave a pair of snow boots to a shoeless boy named Abraham Lincoln. So beginning at the age of seven Charles got occasional teaching lessons from a guy named Robert Hewitt who was described as an itinerant pedagogue. Yeah, which we've all grown. A travel and know-it-all. Yes. Okay, wouldn't shut the fuck up. That's what I hear. Yeah. Okay, yeah, no, I hear you. He was a comedian, basically.

Yeah. A tenor and pedagogue. In 1832, Temple put Charles to work as a news carrier and printer's devil. Printer's devil? Devils were young, unpaid apprentices who prepared the ink paper and typeset for the presses. And they cleaned the machines and run errands. They were ink interns. They were inkerns.

Inkerns. Nice. Inkterns. Nice. Yes. You happy about that one? Yeah. Yeah.

That was great. I'm learning. I actually would like to talk to you after the show. I do have that. It's supposed to be my turn. All right. Fine. Sorry.

You get all the merch right somewhere. Yeah. Thank you. Yep. Thank you. You get it. Huh? Go ahead. On August 22nd, 1837, Charles' mother died. Finally. Oh. Sorry, it's been, we haven't had a death yet and I'm on paragraph three. Like, come on, it's a fucking dollop.

Jesus. So then his dad just took off. Nice. I get that. I get that move a lot. I was here for one thing. I want to fuck that lady and that's not happening. It was hard enough with her around without her I can't do this. Good luck to you. Here's some Fritos and some boots. Work for Lincoln. So he just leaves so now they're like he's like a de facto orphan, right? He's like, I guess that's it. I'm on my own. Nice. Charles and his siblings went to live with some relatives.

And as a teenager, he worked as a legal apprentice with the county clerk. He worked there for seven years and then he moved to Nashville. Yeah, really? Not one person has an opinion about Nashville. No, they do. They're just giving it to themselves. Yeah. You know, I don't enjoy that city. There's no David Spade. Did you know David Spade is from Arizona?

Oh my God. What? Is that why they call him Arizona's own? Yeah. Nashville, there he served in the office of the Supreme Court. He studied law and then he was admitted to the Tennessee bar. Wow. So the bar was pretty low. Very low.

It's September, he's like you. It's like having two of yous. Told you I'm your love child. Yeah. In September 1848, he married the county clerk's daughter, Margaret Haycraft. And she was pregnant the next year. Nice. Yeah, sir, you get it.

Finished inside. You get it, sir. That guy said nice so loud that his date is like, I should go. Yeah. Unprotected. Well, too late. Nice. I think we know what that means honey. No rubber. Didn't pull out either babe. She was uh, so she's pregnant the next year and that's when Charles is like you know what I'm gonna travel yes like father like son yeah yeah he visited Sandusky Iowa Ohio Buffalo Niagara Falls New York City Baltimore Wheeling West Virginia and Cincinnati he's like

he's a road comic yeah hey baby yeah no I'm just gonna go back to the room yeah better a road comic than an itinerant pedagogical. His daughter Sarah Lee was born on November 3rd 1849 but Charles didn't make it home till Christmas. Nice but that's no that's awesome what a gift yes hey look who's here no I didn't get you anything I'm it. So it ain't talking or anything yet why'd you rush me home? Is it even seeing? Why is its head so mushed up? But he wasn't done. He took off again in February 1850.

If I close my eyes, I can imagine the baby crying at home. How's she doing? Awesome. Well, I really missed you all. Yeah, get a round of shots. Does that guy have coke? He doesn't? All right, cool. I missed you so much. Yeah. See if he's holding. Yeah. Cincinnati. Here I come. Yeah. So he takes off again in February, 1850s. Was there a month? He hung out with the kid for a month. It's called bonding. He goes to New Orleans, St. Louis, and St. Joseph, Missouri. When he finally gets home, he sees his daughter and said,

quote, oh, well, this baby is nearly grown and all out of my knowledge. Oh, wow. That is absolutely the best way to wrap up being a father. Just to be there like, all right, wow, it's so great. That is absolutely the best way to wrap up being a father. Well, that's done. Just to be there like, all right, wow, it's so great. Well, it's just great having you here. It's been great being here.

Well, I think I'm pretty much good. I'm done. What more can I do? Look at her, she's full of everything I have. So I should move on with my life and not come back here ever again yeah I'm good movie no fleeing before she starts thinking yeah he went to st. Joseph's Missouri instead of seeing his family

which is just like fuck you have you ever been there yeah it's so oh no it is because it's named after Saint Joseph. So Margaret is, so he's there for a little bit, Margaret's pregnant again. Wow. She can't resist that shit. You know what I mean? She's like, what if I get pregnant, he'll stick around.

Yeah. Another year of knowledge giving. If I may quote a scholar, nice. Nice. So Sarah is now a year old. This is obviously the perfect time to do some traveling. He took $350 from his wife that she had inherited from her father and left for California. Keith wrote comic. Yeah. He is a road comic. Wow. Did he justify it? He was like, I need this as an investment in our future. Yeah, probably. I'm sure he did. It's like, I'm going to go out there and make it rich. I need all your

money. Don't worry. This is an investment. Money makes money, right? It's an investment. So, he first stopped in Louisville to get letters of recommendation for a government job, and then he got aboard the steamship Oregon, which was really a great steamship. On the way down the Mississippi, it plowed into a smaller boat drowning a man. Oh shit that was Jeff. The captain was like get no go. How fast can a steamship go? Well actually they can go fast they used to have steamship races. Oh alright. That doesn't mean that it was fast necessarily. Raise turtles my estimation is 200 miles an hour

Yeah, it sounds about right. Yeah. Oh Man, you see powerboat racing, right? It's this yeah, it's the same thing. Yeah, it's supposed steam It also ran aground at least once that we know of so who who's in charge? It doesn't matter. Not a great captain? Yeah. Shit, that guy's dead. God damn it, land too early. I'm thinking Pope Jeff isn't the best. He's great. Did they base speed 2 on that boat? Yes. Look at it, like it looks like a bullet. So he arrives on January 28th 1851 in San Francisco. Wow. Before the liberals ruined it. Now one day this will be full with people we've given up on. This will be a Walgreens where if people steal from it, we'll suggest killing them.

The dudes are gonna fuck dudes there. They don't know it yet. That's what they're talking about. They don't know it, but it's coming, man. It's gonna be just dudes, happily fucking dudes. They had no idea. A time traveler tells them this whole area will be for gay men. Have you been?

Well put the jackhammer bar here. What do you mean jackhammer bar? It's a leather bar for men. What is a leather bar for men? No we're talking about the infrastructure. It's where men dress in leather. This is a large, this is an area for gold. It's rough sex.

What are you talking about? Rough sex with who? Other men. Men and their wives? No. A man will enter a man. Show him the blueprints. I'm seeing the blueprints. They can get them printed out there at Book and Job. This town will bring dignity to my family's name. I am the Tenderloin. Michael Tenderloin, how are ya? Two weeks later Margaret had a stroke while delivering the baby. Oh shit, while delivering? Yeah. That's fucking terrible.

That's multitasking. That is really... Well, they do, in that case, they do like a sidecar. Well they do, in that case they do like a sidecar. Oh. Well no, she lives, she's paralyzed. So she kinda lives. She kinda lives. The baby however, dies.

Jesus Christ. This is a major lose. What do you mean J-Tow? The baby goes to see J-Tow. He gets put on the fucking jet ski to heaven. Wait, what the fuck? Yes. No, that's the first-

How do you think you get to heaven? Just ascension? On a jet ski. No. You ascend on a jet ski, yeah. Oh, don't, no. Don't listen to your father on this one. All right, father, dad.

St. Peter's got like those fucking Oakleys. What's up? Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to the Golden Gates, Martha. The fuck's up? Fuck yeah. You died during birth? Radical.

Y'all ready for this? Bow now now, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba The ingredients are cloud dust and essence. This is your soul. He's one of the disciples. Yeah, for fuck's sake. It's the father of the son and the donkey sauce. Yeah. You know this? Andre Acasey is also a disciple. Frankincense, myrrh, and donkey sauce?

We heard! It was so light over there. So the baby dies, but two days later Charles gets a... Nice follow up by the way, really just smooth back into the dollop. The baby dies and two days later Charles gets a great job as the chief clerk in the surveying office of the custom house at the port of San Francisco. Was it a coincidence? So he can't go back, he's got a fucking sweet job. But was it a coincidence or were they waiting,

like hey, you have two kids, we'll just wait it out. Yeah, well one kid, when you're done to one kid, we'll give you the job. Well good news by yes, hello. Now he was making $300 a month, which is $11,000 a month today. Oh damn. So would you go home to your paralyzed wife?

Jesus Christ, Dave. You skipped a picture. Aha! It's about the Gadsden purchase. Fuck! You fucking idiot. Now we all know where this is headed. Yeah.

Towards the Gadsden Purchase. You tipped your hand to the wrong crew, Kimo Sabe. Well, well, well. Just slow playing the Gadsden Purchase, are you? That's why you can't hit the right arrow on your little computer, isn't it? You've failed it for long enough. You're not dealing with idiots.

So. I'm 100% dead. Am I getting this right? So a baby dies and then Dave fucks up, is that what happens? Yes. Every time Dave, yes, it's like an angel getting its wings. No.

Ha ha ha. That's true. Ha ha ha. You know, I was actually... Watch this. I'm going to say this to Jaytown. Jaytown? Shut up.

I don't exist. Can I have a double tango ray and tonic? Your dad's up here and he says it's probably not a great idea. Jaytown, just listen to me. Well, it's just I'm trying to listen to you, butTown, just listen to me. Well, it's just I'm trying to listen to you, but your papa's here next to me. J-Town, let's juice this story up. Yeah, I know, but couldn't you do it without the juice? I want a Tagore Antonic!

He's toppled! That's why I don't think you should have it, my son. He's about to kick it up a notch. Jesus Christ, Guy Fieri's really taking over the place. He's about to kick it up a notch. Jesus Christ, Guy Fieri is really taking over the place. He's pretty rad. By the way, your dad somehow brought Canadian mist up here. Super crazy. In March 1853, Franklin Pierce became president and Charles was then demoted. He then falls in with a group of French bankers who wanted serving done. You like money?

He wanted serving done in the newly negotiated Gazdan Purchase. That's right, the Gazdan Purchase. I did not see that coming. Yes. Well, well, well. A lot of people don't see the Gazdan Purchase coming. You like money? I wish I could tell you where it was, but I don't have it.

I believe they call it Le Money. Le Money, huh? Le Money, yeah. You like money? Look at that, huh? Yay! Just more shit we took from Mexico. What's up, Eduardo?

Oh, I live like right down there. Oh, you do? Yeah. Juarez, it's a nice little quiet town. Do you want a Gadsden refund? Yes please. Or this is great. No it's great. I know it's fine. You're drier than your gin you. It's okay. I mean it's just weird having this many people just being scared of nothing. Like what am I going to do to you guys? Well, unfortunately that's how America works.

Yes. Wow, I am learning. So the Gazdan Purchase is a strip of land that's southern Arizona and parts of southern New Mexico. James Gazdan was the U.S. ambassador to Mexico. He is a secessionist and a former railroad executive who considered slavery a social blessing. Oh, one of those, okay.

Yep, one of those. One of the half of Americans. Yes. And he considered abolitionists a curse on the nation. Jesus Christ. So he's a twat. Huh. So this guy, this Gadsden guy, he makes the Gadsden deal thinking a southern railroad would go across there

to the west coast and give the south more economic independence and maybe open up more slave states. So that's why we got the Gazdan Purchase, like hopefully more slaves. Nice. Yeah, it's like opening in and out, but with slaves. Franchising. Very much like that. Yeah, it's an above ground railroad. They weren't sure about it, but then they were very like, oh.

One of those ones when I made it, I was like, I'm not sure what it means. Everyone was like, wait. Okay. So he wants to put the train across there. So Charles now comes and teams up with a German map maker surveyor, an engineer. Yeah, fuck yeah. We like to engineer and we will make the maps.

So that's Herman Ehrenberg. That's right. So their plan is to sail, they're gonna sail around the Baja Peninsula land and then take an inland route through Mexico into the Gazdan Purchase. Okay. The worst route? It sounds like, like, what's the hardest way to get there?

What's most securitas? Well because they probably didn't want to go through the territory of the Native Americans who in that area were really into killing people. Why? The whole we don't like you thing. Why? Why? Well, we weren't really good to them.

Why? What did we do? We just wanted to have turkey in a cornucopia. Oh, shit. What? We tried to celebrate with them. We said split-seas. And they said cool.

Right? We gave them poison blankets. Yeah, but what? Yeah, as a gift. Yeah, for free. I don't know if them poison blankets. Yeah, but what? Yeah, as a gift. For free! I don't think you guys know stuff, anything.

Yeah. So, they're going to survey for railroad routes and minerals like gold, silver, copper, and Charles, he brings 30 men that he called, quote, a tough cargo of humanity. So they're awful people.

Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah. And they set sail on February 19th, 1854. It's not a great ship. Cool. It's an old three masted. I mean, saying it's not a great ship back then is insane. Yeah.

It's an old three mastmasted British clipper called the Zoraida. Almost immediately a massive storm blows it off course and they drift for 30 days at sea and then they crash into some rocks off the coast of a barrier island off of Mexico. Sounds like the start of a weird reality show. Yeah. Cracker Island. The stinkiest episode of Below Decks. So the island is seven miles long and three miles wide and six miles from the mainland.

Historian A.W. Gressinger said, quote, that first evening they discovered fresh water and a herd of wild cattle roaming the island. That's lucky. Under the mantle of night, the survivors huddled in the flare of a sheltered campfire, thankfully munching on roast beef. What the fuck? They're having-

They opened an Arby's? I mean, that is seriously fucking lucky, right? To be like, oh my God, what are we gonna? Do like oh shit? Jesus Christ burgers Holy fuck I don't even want to go home. I just wanted the medium medium Well back then a ship would roll up and drop a couple of cows or a couple of pigs on an island like a little The ship would roll up and drop a couple of cows or a couple of pigs on an island, like a little island off the coast, and then they'd all fuck, and then you'd roll up on another ship and there'd be a shitload of cows.

Sorry. We might have discussed this before. One more time? We have. You didn't leave behind? Yeah, they do leave behind with pigs or cows. Pigs, but not pigs and cows. Either or.

Okay. But it wasn't just like, this cow's going fuck that pig, and we're gonna see what happens. Whenever it comes out, it's gonna be something they serve at KFC. Yeah. Yeah. So, for a week, they ate wild island fruits and had honey and oysters and ate cows.

Sounds awesome. What? It's like a bachelor party. Yeah, I would not leave here. Dude, fucking A. Except for the old dudes thing. So they build rafts after a week and they head for Mexico. Why? I don't know.

I would hang. Where are we going? There had to be a couple of them. What are we doing? We have to go to Mexico. No, we figured it out. We put pineapples in the burgers. It's nuts here. You guys! I cook it low and slow for 12 hours. Yeah, oh Jesus. That guy's weird. So they they get to Mexico and they head north and then they get to Alamos and they were offered a very large old Spanish hacienda to stay in by the local government.

I think you mean hacienda, but it's fine, go ahead. Fuck yeah. Yes, is he racist, was that racist? No, it was just, you know. Damn it. We're gonna get you, motherfucker. It's tonight the night? Yeah, we're coming down on you, fuckface.

No one is more whiter than you. What, you saw me at the pool today? I'm very, just because I look like the sunblock. Yeah. No one is more whiter than you. What? You saw me at the pool today? Yes! Just because I look like the sunblock. Yeah. I thought it was zinc. So they relax for a day at the Hathienda. You know, that's... I'll handle this.

Classic, classic white. I like that he doubled down on the H even though the H is mute. Yeah, yeah. Si enda. Yeah, see? Like a feral cat. Like a feral racist cat. Yeah.

Yeah. I think you mean gato. I think you mean Gato. Thank you, someone's paying attention. Gracias. Gracias. As long as Dave's the enemy, we're good. Not spayed, Anthony. We're good. So they relax for a day. They're at the Ocienda. Quiet, Dave, Anthony.

The next morning, Charles wakes up to see armed troops surrounding the Ocienda. Jesus. I think it's harmed troops. And this is because William Walker's recent filibustering. Whoa, my boy! Oh my God. Old squirrely eyes. He had recently been filibustering and so Mexican officials were not taking any chances with a bunch of white dudes.

Which they should have never stopped. Oh my god. Honestly. When he went into Mexico he got defeated by like 50 ranchers. Alright, come on. We don't want to talk about that. We talk about his time in Nicaragua. Yeah. Alright. Whatever happened in Mexico didn't really happen. It was just... It's Spanish, it doesn't count. Let's move on. He totally got his ass kicked in, I think it was Sonora. Yeah, Sonora, right. That's like the Star Wars prequels. We just don't talk about it. Didn't happen. What, there's some Mexicans in them?

Well, the trilogy is Nicaragua. That's the good one. That's the one that worked. So they were arrested and they were held for questioning for 10 days and then finally allowed to go. On July 11th, 1854, they arrived at the confluence of the, I'm going to say it wrong, I'm sure, Gila River? Gila? Alright! We're fucking nailing it!

And the Colorede River. And the what? Colorado. Colorado. Oh, the Colorado. Oh! You mean the California River. Keep your fucking hands off it, you thirsty bastard.

Touch our water! Yeah. Yeah. You guys know that river, right? It's the one that used to have a lot of water? That one, yeah. It goes through your state, but don't fucking touch it! Look, the reason why you got all those big liters of Arizona water is for you to shower

with eventually. That's right. Yeah, we got it in California. Don't worry about it. It's ours. So, during the gold rush in 1849, a man had set up a ferry and they charged 49ers $10 to cross, which is $360 at the time. So Charles and, can you believe someone was taking advantage of people?

That's crazy, yeah. And that's like 10 bucks more than he took from his wife, so that's worth. So Charles and Herman, Herman the German, decided that's too expensive. They're not going to pay it. Sure. I'm in love with Herman the German decided that's too expensive. They're not gonna pay it. Sure. I'm in love with Hermann the German. I gotta be honest. In this corner! That's right! Stay down! Don't rip your spandex, Hermann. Oh! It's a me suplex! So So Herman is a very skilled surveyor. Historian Steven Datter quote,

So he laid out the streets, grids, town square, docks and piers. Here's the docks. And when the ferryman's curiosity finally stirred him to ask what was going on, Poston told him, Oh, you haven't heard? We're going to create a new city, a magnificent center for trading and commerce To be called Colorado City. If you're smart enough, you'll buy in ahead of the others

That is so like you can just picture the German doing that with like a little like he's just peering off in the distance Oh, you haven't heard? Yeah, we're building a utopia Yeah, it's called Fire Festival. You better get on board. Yeah, hurry up. Yeah, invest if you can. If you can't, you know, you might be left in the dust, but either way, you should really try pretty soon to be a part of it. Yeah, everyone's talking about it. It's going to be a lot of take tops for any packs, beers. It's going to be nuts. It's a new fantastic town, an NFT.

That's right. beer's not it's a new fantastic town an NFT don't do that keep so the ferryman bought the first few plots and then the party had enough money to pay for ferry across the river. The fake town they created turned out to be Yuma, Arizona. 310 whatever. Charles makes his way back to San Francisco. He learns the French bakers funding his expedition are now one out. So he needs new backers to keep exploring. And bakers. And he also found out his still paralyzed wife

was now very sick and not expected to live. Oh right, her. She did not get better on her own? No, I don't know what happened. Have you even been trying? Can I take this money on the dresser? So the healthcare system has not improved. It's exactly the same. So you're telling me time doesn't heal all wounds? No. Later on, 200 years later, Urgent care will take 10 hours. He arrives back in Kentucky

in time for Christmas. Nice. That's nice. Classic. I brought you some dick. Nice. Sir? Yeah, pretty happy with that? Fuck yeah. Awesome. He stays there a month and then he ends at the end of January. I love the way he rolls.

It's traveling time. Takes the holiday. At that point his wife has made it through her illness not that she's still paralyzed she's got over her illness You seem better I should get moving now that you're 100% oh shit. I shouldn't have said I'm moving Now that you're up and not moving around again See you later, I mean she's too little to open presents. I'm probably going to grab a couple of these. I got her cigarettes anyway.

So he now heads out. He heads for DC where he meets up with Major Samuel Heitelman. So he wants to get into mining. So they spend a year traveling looking for investors They got a nice sum about two million from the gun Manufacturers Samuel Colt and the Texas Pacific Railroad. Oh That wasn't a picture I'm not supposed to do that. Yeah, I was gonna say there's red it guy fucked up 69.4 million dollars. That's how much I got. What was that 69?

Don't worry about it. That never happened 69.4 million. Wow, so it's like VC bullshit now. They're like uber right You mean cuz they're awesome Samuel no Samuel names himself president and Charles title was military commandant of the exploring party an agent of the company in Sonora Right, what's that acronym? was military commandant of the Exploring Party and agent of the company in Sonora. Right. What's that acronym? M-M-C-E-P-A-C-S. Mixipis. Mixipis.

Mother of dragons, yes. Mother of dragons. Correct. Gareth, the dollop is brought to you by Penrose First Leaf. We both enjoy this. Penrose First Leaf is a monthly wine club. It's great because it's a membership and you get these high quality wines. There's even like a concierge person you can call and ask questions.

Mine's living with me. And get tips on. But no, you also you go through and you basically are like saying that it was interesting because I as someone who likes wine don't it had never really been like why what wine do I like? Yeah. And then went through and was like oh yeah I like a little bit of a chocolatey almond cranberry taste. Yeah you take a little quiz and then then you start to know what kind of wines you like more. If you know you like wine but you're not really sure which kind of wine you like, which is where I was.

My wife is much more of a wine snob and she also really enjoys First Leaf. So we both enjoy it. We both got really good wines. So look, I love reconnecting with friends and family over bottles of First Leaf wine and I bet you'll feel that way too. So give First Leaf a try. bet you'll feel that way too. So give First Leaf a try. Head over to firstleaf.com slash dollop to sign up and save 50% on your first six hand curated bottles plus free shipping. That's t-r-y-f-i-r-s-t-l-e-a-f.com slash dollop. Save 50% on your first six bottles plus free shipping try firstleaf.com slash dollop hundred percent satisfaction guaranteed. That's quite a guarantee. We are also brought to you Gareth by Helix Sleep.

Don't even. The dollop loves Helix Sleep. We've been in business for a long time together. We sleep on Helix beds. My whole family does. I had someone the other day ask me how much I like Helix for their own personal use and I said, I love it. I cannot recommend it enough. It is the best bed I've ever had without question. I used to get a little lower backache from my previous bed and this one, my Helix is beautiful.

I just sleep like a baby all through the night. Although I will say babies don't sleep great it seems like. Maybe you sleep like a toddler. So you go to Helix, you take their sleep quiz, they hook you up with the perfect mattress, just takes like two minutes, comes ship straight to your door. What did you get? It's the Dusk Lux. Same here, Dusk Lux.

So you get to It's the Dusk Lux. Same here, Dusk Lux. Dusk Lux. So you get to sleep on it. They give you a 100-night trial and a 10 to 15 year warranty to try your new Helix. Now that's not like a jury trial. We should be very clear. That's like you get to test it out, like a trial run. There's also a jury. Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com the You probably know I travel a lot, a ton, always on the road, always staying in places. If I ever get to choose for myself, I always choose Airbnb over a hotel. It's just better, it's more like a home. A lot of times I will book Airbnb even if a club will book me a home or whatever, but

recently I was at a hotel and someone walked into my room because they'd been given the key to my room as well and I was like, yeah, it's not a great idea. So I ended up leaving that hotel and got an Airbnb for the night because there's also a little bit of security in it. Anyway, so look, I also recently started thinking like while I'm gone, can I turn my place into an Airbnb? And the answer is yes, it can be as easy as putting your place up. Then you make a little more money on the side,

just generate it from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you can use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. Charles now starts calling himself Colonel Poston. Why not? He got a military guy on board so he's kind of in the military. And he can lift the world's largest tassel.

Charles heads for Texas and headed out with a group of German immigrants who Charles called the buckskin Boys. That's right. We are the Buckskin Boys. You ready? One, two, three, four. No. Oh, I thought we were doing a...

No. We will work when we're in our own pace. Two, three, four. No. We're good. It's honestly adorable that he thinks he has that control over us. Yeah, we look at you and kind of giggle. Like the way you think you have power.

Two, three, four. Stop counting unless it's for you. Everybody with me harmonize with me. No, we don't even know. Yeah, no, they're getting it. We're the buckskin boys. Oh, well, well, well, hold on. Let him sing the whole song and then we'll see if we don't even know. Yeah, no, they're getting it, but... Where the bucks came from... Wait, wait, wait, hold on. Let him sing the whole song and then we'll see if we want to sing it. No, you join in, you join in!

Why don't you walk us through all the lyrics? Join in! Why are you doing a accent? You were just regular a minute ago. And by regular I mean American, because that's the prism you see everything through. Why don't you walk us through the lyrics? You are such a schnitzel. What are you even talking about?

You're calling us sausage? He's got a point though. What do you mean? You really have jump-shipped lady. Two, three, four. Alright, we're the buckskin boys and we like to make noise. Make noise. We're the buckskin boys

and we play weird toys. We're the black skinned boys. In with pay, we're tied. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Nine! There's gotta be someone who came in here for comedy. I was like, what in the fuck is that? I wanted to hear a guy be like, what's that with watermelons? You're not getting that right.

Well, they are a wild fruit. Are they not? Have you seen these? Have you seen the seedless ones? What are these, watermelons with vasectomies? Come on guys, that's nuts. They got minis, they got regulars. You know, I had a guy tell me the best way

to pick a watermelon is to put three fingers between the stripes. I said, the last time I did that, I ended up in jail in New Orleans. Thank you guys so much. Gareth Riddle's everybody. He'll be here all week because Dave is leaving him behind. Yeah. Tell me to walk with water on the highway. So besides calling the buckskin boys, he said they were quote, frontiers men who are not

afraid of the devil. That's good, I guess. Lighten up. That's a lightening. Okay. Come on. boys, he said they were quote, frontiers men who are not afraid of the devil. That's good. I guess. That's a lighten up. That's a lighten. Okay. Come on. Calm down. What? They brought an Indian agent with them through Apache land.

They brought what? He's a white dude who's like, I talk to the Native Americans. Okay. I mean, I'm sure he talks at them. Yes, yes. No, 100%. Yeah. Uh-huh. And how do we make maize? Yeah.

So he made a treaty. This guy makes a treaty with the Apache. And Charles had pictures taken when he was in New York City, and he handed them out to the Apache so they could identify him as he moved through their territory. Wow. So he's just handing out flyers, headshots? Headshots! Straight up.

Headshots. Signed headshots? How are you? I was on Modern Family. Here you go. Here's my daguerreotype. No. It's...

Don't break it. Come on, that was solid. It's glass. Don't break it. That's a printing joke right there. Come on. Yeah, no, I don't know. I'm a printer's devil.

It's not. Don't humor him. There's a lot of ladies here with their boyfriends and their boyfriends like, why did you bring me to this? I know one. I got it. You got it too? Yeah, I just made eye contact. Terrified. Absolutely getting killed in the parking lot.

Sir, have you laughed tonight? You're just right in my eye line. And most of the show you're going like... Curiouser and curiouser. He's starting to remember the lyrics from the song from earlier. So you like the show and you brought him? Oh, he brought him? Oh, he brought you? This day one guy. He's like and unfortunately live this show is not great.

He's just thinking the car ride home and he's like, you know, if you listen to it I think they edit it when they actually release it. Yeah, they got to edit a lot of this out. And it's not picture based. Yeah, they got to edit a lot of this out. And it's not picture based? Yeah, online. So Charles, these pictures, he's handing them out so he can move through the territory. So they reached Tucson in August 1856. No, absolutely not. I've been there.

It's close to here. I've been there. You shouldn't do that. Yeah! Fuck Tucson! Fuck Tucson! Fuck! All right.

All right. Let's not America Arizona, shall we? It's not like he needs it really. Jesus Christ. Oh God. It's a nice vehicle, okay? I'm just saying. I'm just saying.

I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Shall we? It's not like he needs it really. Jesus Christ. Oh God. It's a nice vehicle. Okay? I'm just saying. A man was murdered tonight in a comedy club in Phoenix.

So they meet up there with Herman at the Sonora Exploring and Mining Company headquarters. Now the Spanish built a presidio at the Santa Cruz River called, I'm going to say it wrong, Tubac. Tubac! There it is! They had, so the Spanish have just abandoned the Presidio. Cowards. However, they took the doors and windows, but they left the building.

What? They took the doors and windows. Well, you can't take the building. What are you going to leave? What are you going to leave the fucking windows? You know how much windows cost? Yeah. Have you been to Home Depot? You know how much windows cost? Yeah. Have you been to Home Depot?

It's a difficult travel. Be very careful. Just two guys carrying a window across the desert. This fucking sucks. By the way, it's really heating me. The steamship crashes through it. This is right through the middle of the window. So they started selling mining shares and by January 1857 there were a thousand residents

nearby and silver mining was producing $3,000 a day. So they invented crypto? Yes. It's crypto. Okay. They're making about a hundred grand a day. Charles decided to turn Tubac into a utopia and did he ever? But that's not how it works. That's what I always love about that concept is like I'm gonna make a utopia.

Isn't that by definition impossible? Yeah, you just are like wow this actually really worked out. Look at us all living in like a Costa Rican rainforest together where we're just living off of melons. They were in a utopia. They didn't realize it. They had cows and they had pineappons. They were in a utopia. They were in a utopia. They didn't realize it. They had cows and they had pineapples and they were in a utopia. Yes, yes, yes. And they didn't even know this. They lived in a tropical Arby's

and it wouldn't get better. There's a lot of utopias. You don't just get to go like, hey, I think I'm going to build the perfect place. Well, how do you think Fresno happened? Touche, David. You always counter with Fresno and it's hard to fight back. So he wants no government, no taxes, no public debt, no politics. As mayor, Charles would marry people, Catholic priests charged $25.

So he's cheaper than the priests. Sure. Tupac became a popular destination for young people to come on a lope, and he also performed baptisms and divorces. So he's kind of a Vegas-y man. Totally, it's Vegas, yeah. A-boom, you're separated. That's a baby.

Sorry, Duncan, bam, you're done. Next, what do we got? A marriage,. Boom. The Lord loves you. Move on. No, I mean he is literally Pope Chuck. Like you were saying Pope Jeff. This is now Pope Chuck. Charles had a canal built from the river to water the two acre communal vegetable garden for residents. Boom. Duncan, he's a baby of God. Qu guide quote nobody was ever charged a thing for entertainment Now you got an issue we have this bullshit Horseshoeing and fresh supplies for the road hospitality is a savage virtue that disappears with civilization so He I don't know about that one. Yeah, that one's difficult. He had me until the end pitch.

So he was right about one thing. Yeah. Yes. But he is building a utopia. Yeah, kind of. I mean, he prints his own money based on the silver coming from the mine. The currency was called boletas by the locals and could be redeemed for silver at any time. Boletas just means tickets, literally. It's literally just tickets. So he kind of invented like arcade currency. Yeah. He's like, how many boletas do you have? You can get like a necklace that's made of candy, but if you have enough boletas, you could get a drone.

Yeah, if you have 500 boletas, you get the necklace. If you have 500,000, you get the drone. Yeah, you better play that basketball game a little longer, get a little boletus. Welcome to David Buster's, the country. I was going to say, bienvenidos a Carlos Ichiz. Boletus. So he prints Tubac's first, Arizona's very first newspaper, The Weekly Arizonaan. Charles would read the

weekly paper while sitting in a natural pool by the river. So he's a creep. That's creep shit. Saw you doing that two days. Exactly. Point proven. So profits are only $10,000 at this point in 1859, about $365,000. So the company reorganizes and they fire Samuel and made the largest shareholder, Samuel Colt,

president. Oh boy. In December, Charles gets a horrible case of pink eye and has to go away for treatment. Man, can you imagine getting fucking pink eye back then? You're like, I'm probably gonna die. My pillow had poop on it. I'm probably, that's a death sentence. Well, I have to go to Chicago.

Well, I'm done for. I went to a Holiday Inn. I need to move to a warmer climate. We're already in Arizona. That's the warmest it gets. Well, I gotta put lime in my eye for a year. It's pink. So he comes back in late 1860, and in January 1861,

Apache Chief Cochise. Yeah, that's the fucking man right there. He was falsely accused of kidnapping a white child. So he and his family are taken hostage by American troops while they were raising a white flag and he was told they are gonna stay in jail until the child is returned. But he didn't take the child, so that's hard to do. So he escapes and the Americans hang his family. Oh my god. Well you fucked with us. This is known as the Bascom Massacre and it began the Apache Wars which had gone for 25 years. Wow.

Many Apaches previously hostile only to Mexicans now attacked Americans. Alright. Hey. The fuck were you guys doing? Up top, bud. We did it. So, wait. So the Civil War begins three months later and almost all US troops are sent east. Charles sends the women and kids of Tupac to Tucson. I don't think so.

This guy's really up the ass of Tucson. Yeah, it's really creepy. He's a big Tucson guy. So, Apaches are stealing tons of livestock from Tupac and um, Tupac. Tupac. Tupac. I know. This story has so many different people you know.

Tupac. He dared me to hit him up. So word that US troops have left spreads and bandits from both sides of the border start attacking mines up and down the Santa Cruz Valley just killing miners and taking whatever they could. On August, I'm sorry, on April 25th 1861 an Apache war party scalped a mine superintendent. helped a mine superintendent. Mmm. Woo!

Woo! Woo! I'm okay with it. Another was stabbed to death. Charles' brother, Brother John, was stabbed to death while he was sleeping. Yeah. Woo!

Woo! Charles spent two months melting down silver and loading it on outbound stagecoaches. He also tried to save mining equipment by stashing it in the hacienda. And then he took off. He likes that move. And then Arizona was taken by the Confederates.

That's the Arizona Confederate flag. Wow. It's really simple. Have you ever really changed? So then Tubac was taken by the Apaches and the last people flee to Tucson with the help of 25 Confederates taking him there and then Tubac is looted and burned to the ground. Charles goes to Kentucky to see his wife. Good time, right? Hey, how are you? What is that, money? Bye! He then quickly left for DC right out.

I gotta go! Nice to see you! How's our... did we have a daughter still? I guess. Oh, is she good? What's she like? I don't know. Alright, are these gift certificates redeemable anywhere?

Thank you for staying put. I'll be right back. That's awesome. I'm gonna take these Home Depot credit cards. All right. In DC quote, in December 1862, I returned to Washington, made friends with Lincoln, and proposed the organization of the territory of Arizona. There was no other person in Washington. Nope, nobody here, no response. Everyone's like, oh. Oh, so he's to blame, all right.

Why, why? There was no other person in Washington save General Heitzelman, who took any interest in the Arizona affairs. They had something else to occupy their attention and did not know where Arizona was. Yeah. I mean, to be fair, I don't think half of these people know where Arizona is, right?

I know, it's hard. It's okay. We believe in you. So, they had something else to occupy their attention and did not know where Arizona was. Consequently, an oyster supper was organized. Finally. The way that you fluctuate every moment. Well, I think we should eat a bunch of oysters to make it official. You know what? I agree.

Absolutely. There we go. Nothing like slurping mucus of a shell to make things official. Absolutely. Whatever the hell this is, it goes good with not chewing. I should bring some to my wife. Perfect. Wow.

Wow. Through Charles lobbying, the bill creating the Arizona territory passes the Senate on February 20th, 1863. Charles Poston has just become the father of Arizona. Did he also leave? Well, it seems like it's old enough to be its own state. Literally just cut the ribbon. Well, there goes your mind. Is that money on the dresser for me or is it... That's the state budget.

Oh, well, I should get moving. So, he is named the superintendent of Indian Affairs for Arizona. He returns to Arizona and the first territorial election is to be held on July 18th, 1864. And Charles runs to be the first delegate to the House of Representatives. And he wins with 514 of 885 votes. Solid. Was he the only one running? But wait, surely he wanted a recount.

It's a long-standing tradition. There's a lot of weird things going on. Yeah. Just until we can figure it out. I won't blink until we know what happens. Thank you But He loses the next election a year later because he just campaigns from DC and doesn't come back to Arizona

And then he comes back and runs the next year and loses again So then he leaves Arizona in the fall of 1866 Just like we knew he would And then he leaves Arizona in the fall of 1866. Just like we knew he would. And then he comes back for Christmas. Arizona can't move so he's like I'm gonna take off. So he goes to Europe and he's there for the burial of Maximillian. Oh that fucker. Damn I'm fucking crazy there's

really more of a hair that guy tried to be emperor of Mexico yes I was gonna ask if you guys have covered it before I have a hamster mouth and a big beard you know he just did what Americans are doing now he just showed up one day and he said I own this oh come on I mean it's just ridiculous. We've been through enough. But at least they have the courtesy to execute him. Oh yeah of course. Come on. It's the Mexican way. We're very negative toward our great country. And we fucking hated them. Why? You know what you need to let it go. What if they do? I will not let it go. Did he kill a lot of people? He was just a dick. Yeah, we have that. Yeah, he's overthrown and executed in Maximilian and then he comes back, Charles

comes back to America, not Maximilian, he's dead. He didn't come back. No. What, the head? Yeah, they brought the head back. It didn't work? No. So he comes back to America and he writes a travel book, Europe in the Summer Time. That might be the craziest thing you've said. He's now Rick Steves. One presumes he wrote it in the river, like while he was in the pool. A treaty was signed between the US and China in July 1868. And Charles Friend, J. Ross Brown, was appointed to be the new minister to China. Could you not have a beard? Could you not have facial hair?

Is that possible? I just think the way shaving was, it was hard. It was such a pain in the ass that you got to the mustache, you're like, I have dinner plans. What's weird is Lincoln kind of starts it like if you start like with the presidents at least there's an unbroken series of facial hairs until Wilson and then it never happens again. Really? Yeah unbroken look at everybody between. We need a mustache president again. We do we need a

mustache president. You would think it would have taken off after Saddam Hussein but it's... So this guy Brown pulls some strings and gets Charles to be selected to hand deliver the treaty to the emperor of China. And he was also tasked with traveling through Asia to study irrigation. He and Brown deliver the treaty and then they went sightseeing. They spent Christmas in 1868 at the Great Wall of China. I love this. God, Mr. Brown, we are going to spend Christmas in the heathen country

without eggnog? Ha ha ha! Oh, we have fun. Can you imagine being in another country being like, you don't drink egg milk with rum and whiskey? What are you people? Uh, not crazy. No, no, no, it's very simple.

Egg yolks. You lost me there. There's more. We're drinking it with rum, whiskey, and milk. And we keep it out all day. Right, the whiskey sanitizes the salmonella. The rum sounds good, the whiskey sounds good, but everything else sounds like cum. Right, yeah.

In many ways, we have cauldron signature. Tastes like J-Town cum though, is what I'm saying. So their consul, Mr. Cheng, replied, quote, Oh yes, my wife had a child last week and I can get your milk for half a dollar. Wait a minute. We're talking chestnog? I also like that he's selling it. We took our eggnog straight under the shadow of the Great Wall of China and bid adieu to Chiang and his milky wife.

Jesus, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Why did I drive up to the Phoenix show? Holy shit. Christ. Why did I drive up to the Phoenix show? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Holy shit. I mean I thought eggnog was gross. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's so much grosser.

I hate to ask, could we get some more milk? Ha ha ha ha ha. Hold still. Oh my God. Oh my God. She's giving us five dollars, we need this. Can you imagine liking eggnog that much? No. No. Wait, were the eggs fertilized? Oh my god. Yeah, probably. I'm sure Charles fertilized them. So Charles then goes to India and he gets to know the Parsi's which are an ethno-religious minority group. Oh so he's on the finding himself. Yes. He's like it's the Beelichs. George Harrison. Eat, Pray, Love. They're descended from the Zoroastrian Persian refugees. Yeah. Yep. And he was so

into them that he wrote two books about them. The Parsis in 1872 and The Sun Worshippers of Asia in 1877. India in the summertime. So he's doing all this shit and word gets back to the Secretary of State that Charles is spending all his time in their temples instead of checking out the irrigation systems he's supposed to. Right. I even forgot about the irrigation.

I mean for word to get back to DC about that. Like, yo, he's really fucking around too much. Yeah, he's really fucking around. Well, I figured out a way to irrigate eggnog. Does that help? So his commission is pulled. He then travels through the Middle East and Egypt and onto London, and there he opens up the only

American law office in London and starts editing a newspaper and he stays in London for six years until 1876 So he's just very off track. He's like he's What'd you call him? We call them a lot of stuff. You call them the The Tom Hanks movie what you call them? Oh An itinerant pedagogical... The Tom Hanks movie. What did you call him? Oh, what's the... Forrest Gump. Forrest Gump. It's like the Forrest Gump of that time. Yes, yeah. The Forrest Gump of the 1880s.

He's everywhere. So he's sent to cover... So he's everywhere, but he's not all there. Right, yeah, yeah. I know. A lot of green screen. So he's sent to cover the American Centennial Exposition for a London paper and he arrives in Philadelphia on May 5th 1876 and then he decides to stay in the US and he works on Samuel Tilden's campaign who loses and Then outgoing president Grant gives him a job of registrar of a land office in Florence, Arizona

I don't think so. I gotta tell you, where the fuck were we? We were in Denver, they were fired up for every city. Every reference to Arizona, except for Tucson, man, you guys are just like, eh. Which I'm fine with. Not opposed, but it's very interesting. I don't blame them, have you been?

No, I won't go. So he stops by Kentucky to see his wife and his daughter. And then, hey, what's up, baby? How you doing? She's hard to move. The level of drive-bys. Oh my god, it's insane. Hey, all right. Hey, baby. Hey, baby. Oh my god. It's insane

a little more money stop it So he also sees his daughter in Texas. She's now an adult and married Goddamn, it's your dad who you got so fucking tall without my knowledge! Santa, is that you? No, no. Well, maybe. Do you give Santa money? Then yeah! Ho, ho, ho! So he opens this office in Arizona.

It's a one room adobe hut. Not much business coming in. So he starts just writing essays like Atrocities in Ireland. In Memoriam of the Democratic Party. And the Intelligence of Dogs. He was really bored. That one's amazing. Like, you're at like, well, um, boy aren't dogs smart? When you say paw, they'll give you the paw. The whole bone on the nose

patients and then they flip it. These are awesome animals. He began writing an epic poem called Apache Land. Sounds like the worst theme park ever. Yeah. Oh.

Here's a sample. Oh, it's America, right. Yeah. Here's a sample of the poem. For here, even more than in Tucson, it is always, always afternoon. The lotus leaf, the soft wind kisses, and the ladies here would charm Ulysses. They spend their time and dance and song

and seem happy as the day is long. It's 145 pages. Oh my God. What the fuck? Oh my God. I'm on cocaine. Oh my God. It's worse than Stephen King in the 80s.

It reminds me of if you've seen the movie Big Fish, Steve Buscemi. He's like, Spectre is good. Spectre is great. I love Spectre. It's just. Oh my god. That's amazing. It's a great movie.

145? 145 pages. I can't finish this whole. How many pages have you written about your town? Yeah, in rhyming couplets. So it doesn't sell very well. 45 pages. I can't finish this. How many pages have you written about your town? Yeah? couplets So it doesn't sell very well. Why I don't know. What do you think it was? Well people aren't Smart enough for poems. Oh my god. This poem has an eighth chapter What the fuck is happening should have just written haikus yeah

What the fuck is happening? Should have just written haikus. Yeah Now Primrose Hill is a 300 foot butte north of Florence and it contains the ruins of a centuries old Native American stone structures Which are awesome. I Bet they were even awesomer before they were ruined. What? That's way better than they were even awesomer before they were ruined. What? That's way better than they were. We love, you know, it's like an HGTV show. Right, yeah.

We're gonna flip our country. Yeah, yeah. Hi, I'm Chip. This is Joanne. Hi, we're white and today we take over America. Well, y'all seem very primitive, so we were thinking that instead of tea peas, we would turn these into condominiums. How do you feel about terracotta?

Well, look, this fire seems to be cooking what you want, but have you ever thought about a pizza oven? This pyramid of the Sun is great but have you thought about a farmer's sink? It seems like y'all are really understanding how to live off of the land but have you ever heard of a rotisserie chicken cooker? What about a food dehydrator? We're keeping the shiplap. I mean in Arizona food dehydrator is just the Sun you just leave it out. Yeah well that's what we're doing in the van with the man. So white settlers think that it's a watchtower, but Charles has a different theory.

I love it. It's not a watchtower. It's not. Historian A.W. Gressinger quote, to Poston's mind, the ruins were an old link with the religion of Zoroaster. Sorry? Sorry. The ones in with the religion of Zoroaster. Sorry? Sorry. The ones in India?

Yeah, Zoroaster. Zoroaster. Okay. Zoroaster. If the forebearers of the Mayans and the Aztecs had found their way to this continent from Asia by way of the Bering Strait, what? Yeah, that makes total sense. Why was it not possible that they had brought with them the religion of the sun worshipers

of ancient Persia? Why was it not possible that they had brought with them the religion of the Sun worshippers of ancient Persia? Why was it not possible? Because it was not. That's why. That's very negative. In Poston's view, it was quite clear that they had. Yeah, well, that's pretty good to go, obviously. I mean, if you look at it, I see it. It took a white man to figure it out, as always.

Well, it always seems to. You it, I see it. Yeah, like a white man to figure it out. It's always always always seems to You know, it's fine. That's it's all right. Well, when you think about the white man, we're like will hunting and without the good Will kill it Will kill it, I guess. So Charles decides he needs to build a Zoroastrian fire temple on Primrose. Wow! This is a motivated man. He went full Julia Roberts on that one.

So then if he builds that, then he can reintroduce Native Americans to what he assumed was their lost religion. Oh my God. He is white. He is officially a black. This is, yeah. Y'all know Xerxes? This is what he believed in.

Y'all know Xerxes? Come on. On July 4th, 1878, he invites friends to a picnic at the top. Oh my God. There's champagne, there's fireworks, and there's the unfurling of a huge blue and On July 4th 1878 he invites friends to a picnic at the top. Oh my god! There's champagne, there's fireworks, and there's the unfurling of a huge blue and white flag Charles designed with a huge red sun in the middle. Oh my god.

The great Native American tradition of picnics. What were fireworks like back then Dave? Sparklers? Yeah, that's a good question. Well no, they had pretty cool fireworks. Well he'd gone to China, he got the breast milk and he got some fireworks while he was there. Had to be Roman candles. Yeah I mean they clearly had fireworks because we have the whole song. No the rockets red glare. Yeah but still. They were big fucking bottle rockets. Yeah right.

Yeah I don't think they were like what we have now or you see a smiley face He's kind of picking He for sure started a fire if that's what you're asking. He absolutely started a fire. That's how we invented the gender reveal party And that's how we found out that Arizona is apparently Indian I want to do a gender reveal but just have it like it be a big black cloud Fuck we lost it. We're having the devil. Yeah. We're having an airborne toxic event. My child is Satan. I guess the black smoke is you know when you have a dead baby in a stroke.

You might want to order one more drink even if they dropped your tabs. That's what the steamship meant when it was smoking the blackest smoke. Oh god, I just saw someone falling asleep, Garrett. So he pays for a road to be built to the top. It costs thousands of dollars and then he is out of money. Well, time to go see the wife. Well, he turns to the next logical person. Oh no. Nasser al-Din the Shah Qajar, the Shah of Iran. So he writes a long letter explaining the situation to the Shah and asks for money too. He wants to finish the fire temple. The Shah doesn't write back for

some reason. Also it turns out Native Americans have no interest in this religion. He wants them to get into and they think he's gone insane. On behalf of white people what is their problem? Why are they so, they're just so un-understanding. This sounds so bad that they were probably asking like, what about just Catholicism? Can we actually walk us through Catholics again? What was the whole Jesus thing about? Can we go back to that one please? I just do want to religion when you have to walk up to the top of a mountain Do one near a river?

Do you have any downhill religions? I'm looking for like one that's like more decent But I'm kind of looking like do you have anywhere you put a sack on and go down a slide of looking like do you have anywhere you put a sack on and go down a slide that to me sounds fucking dope. If you get really really into any religion they're all downhill yeah that would be fucking great so everyone thinks Charles has gone insane and they start to call Primrose Hill Poston's folly. He is then fired from the Florence Land Office in June of 1879 and he goes back to Tucson.

For what? What did he do wrong? Two people excited about Tucson. It's his third time and he's like, I'm actually less fired up about Tucson. I'm a little sick of hearing about that shit. I still love it, man. So it's three-sawn now and I'm like over it. In Tucson, he would just sit in Charlie Brown's saloon. So that's where he'd drink and he'd sit there for hours a day with a very tall cup of brandy, writing poetry and letters. A tall cup of brandy writing poetry is problematic.

Another 145 page poem. Yeah. Ready to page poem yeah ready 45 I was just getting warmed up trilogy poem this is problematic but my poetry skills are automatic I'm a poet boy do I know it right Give me two more gallons of brandy. Next day's function. High class luncheon. Food is served at your storm cold muncheon. Sand everywhere when I have brandy I don't care.

Okay so we'll clean this up. He would write letters to newspapers elect officials and anyone who annoyed him. So he's like a fucking, he's careening. He's a Facebook dad. He's just writing in the newspaper like, your article about how we should allow people to have 10 items and wait in line was very offensive. If someone's by, yes. Let me tell you about dogs. They're very smart. I'm sick of having to open salt packets.

Put salt on the table. It's a communal discussion point. Decaf? Why is it orange? Orange is a bothersome color for those of us who like coffee that doesn't give us the jitters. That's enough grandpa we have to go back. Okay. He's like that guy from 60 minutes. Yes, Andy Bruni. Yeah, 60 minutes is what he has left. Yeah. On October 26, 1881 the gun gunfight at the Oak K. Corral happens. And the Arizona governor heads to D.C. to ask the president to threaten to send troops

to take over the territory's government if the crime doesn't stop. That sounds fair. That's very, very, that's us. Charles assumes he is, while he's there, the governor, he's going to talk to the president into firing every elected official in Arizona and replace them with who he wants. Nice. That makes total sense. Seems like it could happen now. Not at all a leap at all. It sounds like an Arizona tradition at this point. So Charles Fank fires off an angry letter to the Arizona Congressional Delegate. 450 pages. His name is Granville Ory.

An iambic pentameter. So Granville Ory quote, you know as well as I that the chief thieves, scoundrels and lawbreakers have been either under the commission or patronage of the federal government. As the first resident of Arizona commissioned by President Lincoln, I can afford to say this without prejudice." So he says if the governor got the president to remove elected officials, there would be a bloodbath. All right.

So basically he said, I was here first, so dibs. Yeah. Imagine. Quote, Kansas in its worst days will not equal Arizona. And that turned out to be true. Fighting words. And the governor might be killed in a popular uprising due to his corruption. So he sends this to delegate Ure who then just sends it to all the DC papers.

Yeah, and then he just gets banned from Twitter, right? Yeah, he's banned from Twitter. He's just threatened to go all John Brown on our ass. Uh-huh. So the Tucson citizen then prints this hit piece on Charles titled Arizona's Crank. Arizona's Crank is now something totally different. And it's good. The beautiful city of Yuma.

Arizona's crank. So quote, Charles Poston is a crank upon the subject of personal notoriety. He is constantly annoying both the journals in this city with his opinions upon every conceivable subject he has become an insufferable bore. Jesus Christ. And we are in constant dread of having a communication shoved under our nose signed Charles Poston. So he is just, I mean...

He's annoying every... But he is, he's like the commenter on Instagram really. He's a reply guy. Well and also he's a guy who used to be famous, so he's Scott Baio basically. But he is, he's... He's Mel Gibson. Like yeah. He's the replier. He's Mel Gibson. He's the replier. Chuck Norris talking to a chair. He's Angie's List the Man. Oh my god.

So Charles writes a paper accusing them of libel, the newspaper, and the newspaper paper editor says the paper is no longer going to print anything he ever sends in again. That's tough. They're like, it's its own paper. And on May 25th, 1882 at 9 a.m. Charles is enjoying his morning brandy. Wow, quite a start. Churchillian. Well, I'll just have a brandy and then get out of bed and figure out what the day's gonna be. Probably belligerent writing.

Cock-a-doodle-doo! Oh, kill it! I mean, right now, like in the present times, there's a guy like just sitting on the toilet. No! Writing comics. Stop! Did he write all of these in the toilet?

That's my question. No, in the river. He was sitting in the river. Oh, the river was his toilet. He was just drinking brandy. That's why he got the pink eye. Yeah, okay. That makes sense. Learning so much about America, right? was his toilet. He was drinking brandy. That's why he got the pink eye. Yeah, okay, that makes sense. Learning so much about America, right? You see why it's going so well? So he's having his morning brandy in a bar and he sees the editor exiting the dining room of the bar and Charles walks out,

pulls a revolver and fires a shot at him. Jesus Christ. The bullet misses by inches. He edited. And everyone in the hotel starts running around and screaming. Why? I don't know. It's America. You're used to it. Yeah, it's what you do. Well, now we are.

So the editor runs down to the laundry room, breaks a window, and dives out into the street, and Charles goes back to finish his drink. Oh. I thought you were going to say he goes back to finish the job. No, drink. That is the job. He was arrested and arraigned for assault with intent to commit murder, and the charges were dropped by general consent.

That's the worst general of all time. He was in the army, right? Yes. He missed the guy from two paces, so they were basically just like, he's a fucking... Yeah, you could. I mean, if you- He's a bad shot, what are we gonna do, arrest him? Yeah. Train him.

You're not gonna kill anybody? Train him. Train him with the American way. Come on. You're close, boy. So Charles is also dealing with a civil trial. Dr. C.H. Lorde began building and mining on the site of Charles' very first mining operation, and

he owned the land. So court found Dr. Lloyd liable to Charles for $266,000, which is $7.7 million. So he just got money out of that for no reason. All he had to do was produce documents saying the land was his. Here we go. And those would be 30-year-old Spanish and Mexican land grants issued for a country that no longer controls the area. Yeah That might be a problem. Is it? Yeah, so yeah, he can't hangs in that other movie the terminal. Oh, yes So he can't come up with it it's like impossible so he loses the land and the money he's owed don't understand los papeles, right?

That's why we brought them. Where are my Chuck E. Cheese tokens? So Margaret dies in Kentucky on February 26, 1854. She had a good run. Yeah, he came back and was like, how you been? She did not have a good run. She had a good run. She had a good run. She had a good run. She had a good run. She had a good run. You okay? How you been? Oh.

Is that money? You mind if I fuck you and take the money? Take care. So he does not go back for the funeral. Piece of shit. And he took a job as a consular agent in Nogales, Mexico. Nogales. Nogales.

So, historian John Goff, quote, on Christmas Eve he began an opossum banquet which featured fare including baked possums garnished with frogs and the food or the guests or both were drenched in Kentucky whiskey. When? I'm sorry. I honestly, I'm going to need the menu one more time. I don't know... Because it's just, it's new.

It is on a possum banquet. Right. So there's possum? The outbaked possum garnished with frogs. With frogs. You notice, there's something that is not there. That's eggnog. Yeah, that's true.

But this is like what an exterminator would be like, and I'm cooking. Right. When did this turn into a Tim Burton movie? What's happening? On July 27, 1855, Charles, now 60, married Maddy Tucker, who was 28, and newspaper typesetter. Oh, okay. How did this happen? Oh, like you How did this happen?

Oh, like you wouldn't. Nah. A printer's succubus. The Tucson star wrote about the marriage and Charles was called a poet, philosopher, and journalist. Quote, it was generally supposed that Mr. Posen was so closely wedded to literature that he could not find time to get married. No, What?

He liked writing. He's too busy writing poems. Maddie left Charles soon after the wedding. Good for her. And then she came back for Christmas though one time. I wrote in annulment. Turns out he was drinking heavily and used to doing what he wanted. The guy who had morning brandy?

Yeah. I mean you can have light morning brandy. Yeah, for sure. You can not go heavy on that. A tall cup to grease the dawn. So he leaves Nogales and moves to Chicago and then Washington. He wanted President Harrison to appoint him governor of Arizona. So he just... That's how it works.

What? What? I'm governor. I don't know if you're ready, to be honest. Yeah, you just go up to them and you say what the election results should be and then you get it. That's correct. A wizard told me I won. Doesn't that count? I haven't blinked. He writes Harrison a letter saying he deserves it because of quote, the most arduous services rendered in the history of American pioneering. Yes, yes.

He doesn't get the job. Why? Because life is not fair,ering. Yes, yes. He doesn't get the job. Why? Because life is not fair, that's why, Garrett. Unbelievable. But he does hang around DC for a year waiting for the appointment. It's coming any day now. He's a very patient guy.

On May 18, 1889, Charles is arrested for using the Franks, which are free mailing stamps, of a Nevada senator and Arizona representative. So he's stealing stamps. Male fraud always gets you. Yeah, it's always male fraud. Never fuck with a postal service. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha man. Fucking stamps. I knew I shouldn't have looked at this. Fuck. Some other secretary of

agriculture named Charles a statistical agent for the territory of Arizona and in October 1890 he rolls in Arizona and the new state capital Phoenix. They don't even cheer for Phoenix. I know. What the fuck is wrong with you guys? You're like, yay, we're here. Yeah, that's it. So in 1892, Charles named and claimed Hole in the Rock at Papago Park. Finally something they like. Yeah. So he claimed that as his own. He's like, that's mine. I get that.

He claimed that as his own. He's like, that's mine. I get that. He wanted to fill the horseshoe-shaped basin there with water and build a 100-room hotel and turn the park into a resort. Oh, wow. How'd that work out? It didn't.

So, he never made a payment and his claim lapsed. Wow. Well, fuck it, it was a good idea. In 1893, Grover Cleveland was back in the White House. Wow, boy was he ever. So Charles rise to ask if he can be governor of Arizona once again. Jesus Christ. I swear to God, I thought we had the craziest governorship of Arizona happening still.

But it turns out, we've got the zombie governor. I'm not dead yet. Hey, Grover, I have an idea what I've from government. Listen, get the fuck out of here, would you? He got a letter from DC saying he was fired from his job at the Department of Agriculture. Wow. I'm pretty sure at this point he like slurred his writing. Yeah, yeah, right. He was like, slurrpinder. This poem's better. So he moves into a small adobe hut in the back alleyway of a house at 139 East Monroe Street

where the Hyatt Regency is today. Jesus Christ. So he moved into a Hyatt shed? Yeah. He had a few more appointments over the years. That's like 300 bucks a night now. Yeah. He had a few more appointments over the years.

He was a school board member, a specialist at an experimental agricultural station at the University of Arizona, and a recreational camping trip coordinator at the Silver King Mine area. Let's go kids! That really does sound like an Instagram bio. Let's go kids, have your morning brandy, let's get out there. 99 cups of brandy on the wall, 99 cups of brandy! Drink all of them for me. Oh no, I'm falling governor. No, you're not. Can I live near the Hyatt? What? Is that cool? Can I get a hot plate in the Hyatt? I'll be the Hyatt guy and I'll do camping trips. I'm not going to be the governor. Can I take the kids out while I live in where you put the hoses? Okay. He spent his time hanging out with the kids.

He was a good friend of mine. He was a trips to the mine. Wait, but I'm not gonna be the governor. Can I take the kids out while I live in where you put the hoses? Okay. He spent his time hanging out in the bar of the Lemon Hotel, telling stories to anyone who'd listen. Hey, did I ever tell you about when I shit in the urinal? Yes. Did I ever tell you about when I pissed in the shitter? Yes.

Did I ever tell you about when I vomited in myself? Yes. Did I tell you about the one where I painted the bar tab? Yes. Well, that you about when I vomited in myself? Yes. Did I tell you about the one where I painted the bar tab? Yes. Well that one was made up. Now let me tell you about when I started Arizona. Hey Zach, you know I was governor almost. Wait, is this how Arizona I.C.T. started? Is that where this is headed? And you know what, the craziest thing, it was 99 cents also back then. That's right. Two million dollars in today's money.

Wow. So locals at this point don't remember him, they just think he's eccentric. Travelers avoid him. A San Francisco reporter comes to pay a visit to Charles and reports on his pathetic condition. Under the headline, the fate of a noble genius What the fuck? He's our greatest poet Quote when I pushed open Colonel Poston's gate yesterday a spry Mexican lad was searching for two rattlesnakes

That had escaped during the night Colonel Poston explained that the boy had been forming the nucleus of an indigenous Colonel Poston explained that the boy had been forming the nucleus of an indigenous zoological collection. I let him keep his pets in the yard here, but last night someone liberated them all and now he is ruined. That sounds like a Rolling Stone Hunter S. Thompson article. What the fuck? I mean, that's just what we do as Mexicans. I brought my two rattlesnakes and they're back in the green room. No, I know. And you lost one of them, which is fucking ridiculous.

I mean, oh, it'll turn out. Check under your seats. God damn it. So the article rouses the sympathies of the Arizona territorial government and they vote to give him a lifetime pension of $35 a month, which is basically $1,200 today. For what? It's like, it's okay.

Okay, yeah. But for the guy who was like, I'm the governor. Now he's like, okay, cool. As long as you give me anti-venom. Do I get an anti-venom stipend? Oh boy. In February 1902, his son-in-law dies in the Philippines at the age of 59. And Charles' daughter, Sarah, and her two kids took the body back on an Army transport

ship. On May 19th, Sarah died of amoebic dysentery while at sea. They were buried at the National Cemetery in San Francisco and Charles did not go to the funeral. I'm swamped. I am swamped. It wasn't Christmas I get it. So busy. I would go if she could have moved. Oh nope. Wrong one? Fuck. If there's no chestnog, I'm not there. On June 24th, 1902, a cop found Charles lying dead on the ground in front- I'm okay. I just interviewed too many. I'm not dead.

He was found dead on the ground in front of his adobe hut. He was 77, no close relatives. His body was going to be buried in an unmarked grave. But the Arizona Republic launched a campaign to raise money for a proper burial and he was laid to rest in Porter Cemetery with a headstone paid for by the people of Phoenix. Go funding. But the burial site never sat very well with his friend, historian James McClintock. For years, McClintock fought for it to be moved, and on April 26, 1925, 1,500 people gathered

and carried Charles' casket up to its new resting place at the top of the Butte on Primrose Hill. Why? Oh my God, shut the fuck up. They just realized what it is. They put him in the pizza oven? Yeah. Ha ha ha.

Holy shit. Oh my God. So funny. What? McClintock talked the daughters of the American Revolution and other donors into paying for a 13 foot tall pyramid shaped stone mausoleum aligned with the rising and setting of the sun. Oh my god.

Governor Hunt gave a speech. He's in like a mummy pyramid. When the light hits properly McClintinktongue, you'll be back. The governor gives a speech. A bugler played taps. It was named Poston Butte. You can visit the site today. His house in Tubac is still standing as well.

The only other thing in Arizona named for Charles is the Poston War Relocation Center, a Japanese internment camp built in 1942. No respect, no respect at all. Wow. Oh my God, holy fuck. Well, cheers. So this is one of those, it has been worse episodes? I mean, he's still better than my dad.

But I mean, as far as like political government in this state, it's just the norm. It's we watch you guys. We see what happens. It's not great. Oh, we're enjoying it. But I had no clue that they I mean, they started this way. So what? Kerry Lake's going gonna be buried in a satellite? Hopefully alive hopefully

She's this she's actually the real governor by the way, I cannot believe that he is in a fucking mausoleum Yeah, so you guys all is this like a place you guys all know and go hike up to but you didn't know it was the whole time Yeah, why would you though they tell you what They do Congressman and just for a year, that's it in his mind. He was He's the only senator from the mausoleum. If you believe it, yeah it's true. That's how it works. It'd be so amazing if he came back to life and broke out of that thing at some point.

The only thing he wanted was Brandy. Oh god, he's here to rule us. Well, I mean he could walk right into Senate. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, yeah. He might be Mitch McConnell, we don't know. Very easily. Could be that. All right, we've kept you enough. Give it up for Eduardo and Rivers, everybody. Thank you guys for coming, we appreciate it. Thank you. Charles D. Poston, Sundaline Seer by A.W. Gressinger, Arizona Biographical Series, Charles D. Poston by John S. Goff, Articles, Charles Poston was an eccentric by John Stanley, Charles Debril Poston, the Fire Worshipper, Charles Debril Poston, the New Age Seer of Arizona by Stephen Downer, Charles Poston by Corey Daniel, and

newspapers the Arizona Daily Star, the Arizona Republic, the Los Angeles Times, the San Francisco Call, the Tucson Citizen, and the Tucson Star. All right everybody, so listen, as you probably know, I travel a lot. A ton. Always on the road, always staying in places. And if I ever get to choose for myself, I always choose Airbnb over a hotel. It's just better. It's more like a home.

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