The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 643 - Mike Fink

Episode Date: July 23, 2024

Comedians Gareth Reynolds and Dave Anthony examine the OG boatsman, Mike Fink Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources   Rocket Money Nutrafol - code DOLLOP...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And we're brought to you by Airbnb Canada. Listen, I'm on the road a tremendous amount all the time. My life is travel and I always go with Airbnb if I can just because you get a better experience. And my mother was in town recently and I ended up booking her an Airbnb instead of a hotel and she just had hip surgery. So I had to find a place that was very accommodating to her needs and found a place that she still talks about to this day. You know, like I've said before, I always like a home over a hotel. I call it a home tell. No, I don't. But I really like it. And she, like I said, she really, really appreciated it.
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Starting point is 00:01:05 It's very hard. Gareth the dollop is brought to you by Rocket Money. Did you find any subscriptions you forgot about or you paid twice and didn't know you did? Did Rocket Money cancel the subscription for you? That was time consuming. You didn't want to deal with it because it's like a buck. You're just like, I can't.
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Starting point is 00:02:32 a year when using all of the app's features. Dave, I mean, babe, this is big, babe. That's a lot of money. It's a lot of cheddar, baby. Maybe that's a lot of cheddar. I've saved money. Subscriptions canceled. I already talked about the Internet.
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Starting point is 00:03:11 Rockabunny.com slash dollop. Come on, baby. Garrett, we have... Garrett? Gert. Did I say Gert? Now you do. Gert. Oh, did I do?
Starting point is 00:03:24 Oh, you're listening to the dollop on the all things comedy network? This is an American history podcast each week. I David Anthony read a story to human form Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about Did I lie? No, but it's just it was demeaning. I don't know if it was demeaning or was it a... Hey, buddy.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Hey, buddy. First of all, two things. Remember that we were listed in the top six history podcasts in New York Times? People can go check that article out. We've always supported the New York Times. Always supported the Times. We love the New York Times. Don't forget that you're listening to the Dala post the 10-year anniversary and
Starting point is 00:04:05 we're the bad boys. So if you're listening to this and you're sort of like, oh boy, this is getting spicier than it used to be. Sorry, we've changed. We're the bad boys. Yeah. We post 10 years, we're like, let's take off the mask. We're like, we're the bad boys of history.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Bad boys. Yeah. I mean, you could just- How about this? Sorry, not sorry. At all. I mean, that's our motto, right? That's our thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:30 Absolutely. Absolutely. Really good stuff. Look, if you guys want to enjoy more of the dollop, we have now a channel on Apple, our iTunes situation. Yes. And we do a $5 subscription, you get more stuff. There's some reverse small ups, there's some new UK episodes.
Starting point is 00:04:54 People wanted some more UK episodes and Apple wanted us to do something and so we were like, okay. Yeah, look, we have a lot of content, but if you're interested in the... And we do. And so if you're interested in listening to more UK episodes, how do they find us, Dave? I don't know. Go to the Apple Podcast app.
Starting point is 00:05:17 Yeah, go to the Apple Podcast app and just click. I should have figured that out first. Also you can listen to ad free episodes on there. Yeah. Just like you can on Patreon. On Patreon we have different content if you want to watch videos and stuff. It's all over there. Get on board.
Starting point is 00:05:34 Yeah. So yeah. Or you can just listen to the free show and not get angry at us. Yeah. If you're mad about that stuff, just listen to the free show. Just listen to all the free shit. We got you covered. Everything you get mad at, we kind of have you covered. show. Just listen to all the free shit. We got you covered. Everything you get mad at, we kind of have you covered.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Okay, so it's called the Dollop Plus. If you go to your podcast app and you click the Dollop or you find the Dollop Plus, you can do a free trial on it and yeah, check out some shit. I think you can probably listen to the first UK one for free, something like that. My understanding was that it's called the Dollapleuse. All right, this is over. Let's just do the show. 1770.
Starting point is 00:06:17 Whoa. Year of our Lord J-Town. Sure. What do you know about J-Town? Sure. What do you know about J-Town? I mean, I believe the roots are... I feel like whatever I say isn't going to matter. What do you have him doing now? Jet skiing?
Starting point is 00:06:35 I'm just going to say Jesus rips. That's all. J-Town rips. Yeah. And I don't think we need to say anything else because that's... I don't think we need to say anything. ...says it all. J-Town rips.
Starting point is 00:06:48 He's never not ripped. Okay. I think we're- The kids love him. Okay. 1770, maybe, actually, nobody knows really. But around then, Mike Fink was born at Fort Pitt, near what is today Pittsburgh? Okay, think and pit. Okay, so I guess pit became
Starting point is 00:07:11 They probably start calling it pits and then threw a burg on there. It's weird, right? I Was it? I guess there's a pit there doesn This doesn't make any sense. Wouldn't that make sense? I mean- There was a pit, some sort of pit, and they built the fort near the pit. Maybe. Sure. But why not?
Starting point is 00:07:32 Sure. Maybe some guy just threw Ada Peach and threw it on the ground. I was like, I don't know. Fork pit. I think it's probably better for us to not speculate and just to do what you know. Like what do you know? Let's start there. So Mike thinks-
Starting point is 00:07:44 No, that's a problem. Okay. I don't know anything. That's a huge issue. So Pittsburgh, Fort Pitt was on a river. And so growing up, Mike was super into boats. He loved boats, loved seeing boats, loved hearing boats, loved watching boats. He was a boat kid like you were. Yep. Big time. Boat boy. Super fascinated by the dudes who lived and worked on the boats, watching boats. He's a boat kid, like you were. Yep, big time, boat boy. Super fascinated by the dudes who lived and worked on the boats, the boatmen. I wouldn't say lived on, but just were on the boats all the time. The boatmen is what they were called. Okay. So Mike grew up as a kid, he was very good
Starting point is 00:08:19 with a gun, because he's American. It's very interesting, just interesting little setups. I'm seeing some seeds. Well, he grew up at a fort, so he's around militia dudes all the time. And there's, obviously, they're not getting along well with the Native Americans because we're assholes. Well, because the Native American... I don't think that's fair.
Starting point is 00:08:43 The Native Americans started encroaching on the land that we had taken from them. Okay. Well, you're framing it like that. I hear you. Which is rude. Give it to us and then go away. I'm trying to come back. Thank you very much.
Starting point is 00:08:58 As a teen, he started working as an Indian scout. Okay. It was called, uh, that was, so he would go out on his own for weeks to like scout. What's he scouting? He's just, I think he's scouting. I think he's that. Yeah. I think it's like a Bushman. Well, Bushman were more Ranger crime. Yeah. Maybe Bush Ranger. Uh, but he but he Yeah, he's he's checking it out. He's checking out the lay of the land and seeing what's up. Sure So he'd have to shoot his own animals to survive and you know, live on live on his own out there, right? Yeah, so picking up skills much like you did. Yeah. No, I'm very yeah, there's a lot of similarities. Mm-hmm
Starting point is 00:09:42 So he he becomes known for being very bold and cunning as a scout. Now back to his boat, his love of boats. So he got really good at imitating the sound of boat horns. There we go. What? There we are. There it is. And he could really do it. It's like going to like a rave and that's like when the beat drops.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Okay, now we're moving. Now I knew it was coming and I waited patiently. I heard you kind of, there was some pullback and then now boom, we're, the Molly's kicking in and we're really partying. Yeah, no, it's like when you kicking in and we're really partying. Yeah, no, it's like when you take acid and all of a sudden you're like, do you see that? Yeah. Or how about this?
Starting point is 00:10:32 I've had this where I took acid and forgot I took acid. That's a fun place. Okay, so he could do boat horns. Yeah, I mean, imagine how long it took to perfect a boat horn. And that's just like, like that. I don't know. Honestly, I mean imagine how long it took to perfect a boat horn. And that's just like, like, I don't know. Honestly, I think it is what? 1790 years. So this can't be.
Starting point is 00:10:53 It can't be very crazy what they have. Well, I can't. Nobody's playing like La Cucaracha or something. No, there's no La Cucaracha going on. But I think it's more like a horn. Yeah. And look, neither one of us have any idea because we're just going off of what we've seen in movies and shit, but it's like a loud horn, not like a...
Starting point is 00:11:13 You just did like a- That's a horn. Like a ship at sea. Yeah, yeah. Oh, but it's more like, I really got one of those. Yeah, that's right. Okay, all right. Okay, all right. So he was so good at the horn sound that when he first got work on a keelboat, they didn't
Starting point is 00:11:35 need a trumpeter with an instrument because he could do it perfectly. Okay, so the horn was really an actual horn. It's a guy playing a horn. So you just tie rope to a guy's dick and then yank it and he'd be like, brrr. What? Yeah. Hold on. Just to sort of replicate the... Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:11:54 Well, I think you've added stuff that- I'll take questions now. Go ahead. Sure. I think you've added stuff that maybe is not there, like you've put on a whole dick part. Like you said, Dave, neither one of us are there. It's only what we've seen in movies. And I've seen that trope in a thousand movies a thousand times.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Yeah. I mean, I think Disney regretted doing that in all their old films. Well, I mean, whatever. About the David. Yeah. Didn't age, right? No, didn't. So, Kielb boats hauled cargo and they were propelled by either pushing poles or pulling
Starting point is 00:12:30 on ropes. That's like I'm saying. By the way, thank you, validated. Sometimes the oars were really big. So it's super hard to do. The dudes who work on keelblades are just like muscled, like you know, they're working out. They're the heiress. Yeah, right. Yeah. They're like us. Like just chiseled to the old fuckers.
Starting point is 00:12:53 Oh, like they like picture picture J town. Man. Yeah, right. Or Trump. Oh, I can't do this. So he loves being on the river. He loves it. It's his ultimate life. He wants to see ports everywhere, especially want to see New Orleans where he heard they spoke French in war Sunday clothes all week long. He's like, that's how. Imagine a city full of people in their Sunday clothes.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Imagine. I mean, what do they even have? Do they even possess Mondays and Tuesdays? It's just everything's a Sunday outfit. Put on your Sunday's best. Yeah. Well, I assume he has like one set of clothes. Well, but it's also so, it's not funny.
Starting point is 00:13:43 It's just weird to imagine. Like Sunday, you dress to the nines. Sunday, you put on a real special little outfit, show everyone. I think these people, although I don't know, I don't think he went to church, but I think these people live out here,
Starting point is 00:13:57 like they probably had one of those clothes, a Sunday set, like a nice set. Yeah, they probably wore that to church a lot, and then so it was probably like, yeah. But so these people only have Sunday clothes because they dress in sweet all this guy gets revved up over the boats. Okay. All right. All right. You get the picture. So sometimes the river got too low for boats. And during those times, Mike stayed in Pittsburgh or close to So he killed a lot of squirrels. He was a squirrel killer. Just food and whatnot. Sure.
Starting point is 00:14:30 And probably just fun. Of course. It's a hobby. He also took part in the Saturday shooting matches, which happened all the time. To shoot squirrels? No, no. They would shoot at a target. Oh, like a skills competition. And the prize would be beef. Yeah, yeah, and I understand the prize.
Starting point is 00:14:51 I don't, I'm not, I know what, I know what we win. Obviously most prizes at that time were beef purses. So that's not surprising to me. I just was sort of highlighting the, what is the actual event? Obviously you get a beef stipend when you have competed. You get a slab of meat. Yeah, you get a couple handfuls of ground chuck, something like that.
Starting point is 00:15:16 You get to dip your hand into the ground beef. Instead of like shaking champagne all over the place, you're just sort of throwing steaks at each other. In the locker room. By the way, is there anything funnier than when a team wins a championship and you're like these chiseled athletes who put these are men's men champions. Now let us put our goggles on so the champagne doesn't hurt our eyeballs. These gladiators grid iron, just all all they do is sacrifice, but their little eyeballs will burn from the bubbles.
Starting point is 00:15:51 It's so, it's so like, I don't think they realize how like sterilized and lame it looks, but Well, it's great when you watch like footage from like the seventies, what, cause guys were just like, ah ha, you know, they were like, it was like they got tear gas. They were like, man, we did it. Who ate, who's, who said that? Ah, ah. I'm like, ah, ha, you know, they were like, it was like they got tear gassed. They were like, man, we did it. Who ate? Who's who said that? Ah, ah, like that wasn't great. But when they have to put on their like champagne goggles. Yeah, it's not good. It's a little bit of a separator. So pretty soon, Mike think became known as the best shot in the country and got the nickname bangle. Bangal.
Starting point is 00:16:25 I think maybe bang. I think maybe bang all. Bang all. It's it's. That's what they called you in college, right? Yeah, but not not because of the way you stop talking right now. Thank you. It's because I started around a gong.
Starting point is 00:16:42 Okay. And I don't got it. Yeah. because I carried around a gong. Oh, okay. A donkong. Yeah. Since he was so good, they stopped letting him take part in the shooting contest because he would win every time. So they're just like, okay, so you don't get to do this anymore.
Starting point is 00:16:58 What are you doing with all the beef? No one's having fun. Save some beef for the rest of us. They said he, quote, spoiled to all the fun. Well, I mean, okay. But they understood it was unfair what they were doing, kicking him out of the contest. So they let him take the, quote, fifth quarter of the beef, which was the hound. So he got a beef bribe.
Starting point is 00:17:26 Hide in the tallow, yeah. So he would just get a beef bribe every time. So he would just show up to just get a basket of his beef. He would get the wrapping of the cow, the outer wrapping. Excuse me, that's what he would... Are you serious? The hide in the tallow, yeah. He would get the wrap, the part that cows used to wrap themselves in.
Starting point is 00:17:45 The skin cows. It's not like that. Like a shawl. That well, that's what I'm a bit chilly. Will you put my flesh over my shoulders? That's what cows wrap their meat in so that it doesn't go bad. That is that is the boy you've just sort of Tyson foods your way into some weird logic. But wait, so he would just get the...
Starting point is 00:18:08 And he's just what? He's just making things with the... That's leather. He's just leathering it up. He's not eating it. I mean, yeah. Okay. So yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:18:18 He would then take the hide and the tallow to the saloon and trade it for whiskey, and then he'd treat everyone to shots, especially himself. Okay. Yeah. Well, for sure. It's okay. So the saloon is getting the high end every week. Sure. Right. I don't know what they would do with it. I mean, I tried to noodle that one, but unfortunately it seems like... I mean, it's leather. I mean, maybe that's what they kept their...
Starting point is 00:18:41 They probably dried it out and fucking, you know, made a- Go ahead. I was hoping you'd cut me off quicker. You gotta see what- No, no, I want you to go on. Okay, so they would probably dry it out. Aprons. Let me finish. Yeah, exactly, aprons, hats, shoes, boots.
Starting point is 00:18:56 Boots, you idiot. Boots, you fool. What if they use it to rewrap their beef? Cause it keeps beef- It would be weird. Good, fresh. Jesus Christ. wrap their beef because it keeps beef. It would be weird. Good. Fresh. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:19:16 So when, uh, when the local, uh, Native American wars start in the 1790s, Mike's, uh, Mike's the kind of guy who's going to go out. By the way, we should have known that we were not going to be a helpful culture when we were having target practice contests for beef. We should have been like, those are seeds that are going to grow into Hulk Hogan speaking at a political campaign. Yeah. We should have been like, it's not great. Eventually, Hull Cogan was gonna get involved. Everybody knew that.
Starting point is 00:19:48 It's true. Okay, so when the local Indian Wars ended in the 1790s, Mike was not the kind of guy, like a lot of the other Scots were like, okay, well I made my money and now I'm gonna settle down and own a farm and domesticate, but he's not that kind of guy. Sure.
Starting point is 00:20:04 So he ended up going west and own a farm and domesticate, but he's not that kind of guy. Sure. So he ended up going west and got into the boat transport business on the Ohio or Mississippi rivers. I think he was Ohio first and then Mississippi. Just driving the boats and just taking them to and fro. Yeah, basically go on the great Miami River, which went from Ohio to Fort Laramie, like all that stuff, right? Sure.
Starting point is 00:20:27 He's transporting goods. And also the Maumee River to like Erie. Maumee River? So he, Maumee, Maumee. Okay, not Maumee. Maumee. Maumee. Maumee.
Starting point is 00:20:37 Maumee. Maumee. I think Maumee River is better, don't you? I like the Maumee River. Yeah, so the Maumee River to Lake Erie. So he's all over the, he's all over the place. Hey, a lot of momm so the mommy river to Lake Gary. So he's all over the he's all over the place Yeah, a lot of mommies take the river to Lake Gary For those of you only listening Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave's laughing
Starting point is 00:21:13 So So he's working all over for like 20 years. This is what he does now. He's a boatman. He's working all over. He becomes a captain. He's running his own crew. Like we said, working on the keelboat very, very hard. The keelboat on the Western waters, quote, the workers were the wildest and toughest men
Starting point is 00:21:29 on the frontier at first Indian fighters. So they're not just going out on boats. They also have to, you know, the Native Americans are like, no, we're not really into you guys. Stop coming here. Yeah, and so they also have to fight. Enough. You'll poison this land you'll go down with the ship are you talking to me right now are you
Starting point is 00:21:50 talking to it's talking to everybody yeah not good they were usually very tall gaunt and big boned they were very daring kind of guys and velikos they were a type right so the boatman was a type that everybody knew. Right. Yeah. From the Pittsburgh story, Pittsburgh story of a city, quote, many were pirates and conmen. Great. I love when those two get together. Yeah. Boatman had a specific way of talking described by Hiram Martin Chichidin as, quote, half horse, half alligator. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:22:27 That does not help me at all, by the way. I was hoping the second part would help influence a little bit. No, but- Alligator speech is really- Maybe you could give it a crack. Now tell you a little bit about that. I think we's exactly right.
Starting point is 00:22:50 It's not wrong. Feels okay. Yeah. Why don't you ask me a question and I'll answer it as one of these guys. Okay. So are you headed up to Lake Erie? I'm going to go up to Lake Erie and find a, oh, we got to get a bunch of that gold coin. We gotta get a better number Yeah, why don't you ask me one more question
Starting point is 00:23:12 How was the weather at Fort Laramie I didn't you had the weather didn't do us no favors, but we thought through it What is the end part that they do it's the I'm adding the alligator part I don't know how to do it. Mike was very witty and he really enjoyed doing pranks. Okay, boy. What are pranks like back in this day? Well, I know, right? Other boatmen liked pranks, except I guess the one problem with this is Mike was known to beat up anyone who
Starting point is 00:23:47 didn't laugh at one of his jokes or his pranks. That's a good follow-through. I like that. He said he told his jokes to be laughed at and no one should make light of them by not laughing. Okay. So yeah. Well, I mean, that's like some, that still permeates today a little bit where people are like, hey, man, come on.
Starting point is 00:24:12 I'm allowed to say it. It's like, yeah, it's just not funny. It's not funny. It's not funny. That's the issue. You should work on that one. Yeah. So, this led to, he basically always had a group
Starting point is 00:24:25 of like toady dudes laughing at whatever he said, even if it wasn't funny. Right, imagine. Mostly just because they're scared, they don't want to get beaten up. So Mike liked to say quote, I am a salt river roar, I love the winning, and as how I am chock full of fight.
Starting point is 00:24:45 And you'd just be like, ah, that's great. Okay, Mike. That's great. All right, Mike. And he just cuts a guy's throat. He's like, got him. You're like, that's hilarious, Mike. Wow, I did not see.
Starting point is 00:25:01 Holy crap, that's crazy that he's gone. Look at that. There's egg on that face underneath the pipes of blood that are just oozing out of the man. I mean, unbelievable how much a guy bleeds once you cut him right there. I think there's a lot of the main arteries. That's arterial bleeding. It's dark. That's that burgundy bleeding. It's dark. That is the, that's that burgundy blood.
Starting point is 00:25:25 Yeah, it's not, it's not. Man, oh man, talk about a change up. Ah, shit. That is funny, man. That is good stuff, Mike. So somehow, even though we painted this not normal character, Mike is chivalrous. Okay, nice. He's got ladies all up and down the river.
Starting point is 00:25:53 You know what I'm saying? Sure. Every part he had a lady and they all let his back, like they all loved him. They all thought he was great. But his main lady became Pittsburgh Blue, that was her name. Sure, it's always good to, yep, it's a Smurf? Yeah, she's a Smurf.
Starting point is 00:26:14 She's one of the first Smurfs. Yeah, okay. So he didn't let anyone talk to her on, he didn't. How chivalrous? Okay, that's the wrong word. He was described as chivalrous, but he didn't let anyone talk. He was possessive? On the boat, no one could talk to his lady.
Starting point is 00:26:32 Jesus Christ. Boy. Sometimes, he'd tell her to, when they were at a port or whatever, he'd tell her to walk a distance away and put a tin cup on her head at a port or whatever, he'd tell her to walk a distance away and put a tin cup on her head or between her knees and then he'd shoot it. Jesus Christ. What?
Starting point is 00:26:53 It's called chivalry, buddy. I mean, I don't know, I haven't heard the chivalrous part yet. So far he's like, don't talk to anyone, now put this suit between your thighs, I'm gonna pop it. What the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's high stakes. It's called digging your lady. Boy, oh boy.
Starting point is 00:27:07 I mean, it's still a man's world, but Jesus Christ. Back then, just like, cause there's no way you want to, you know. Do that? Yeah. Nobody wants to put a can on their head. No. Yeah. All right. Nobody wants to put a can on their head. No. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:27 All right. So Mike's about 5'9", he's about 180 pounds. He was said to have a pleasant face, blue eyes, big mouth. Sure. Boy, I think you just described me. Yeah. Except he was super tan from the sun, because they're out. Me?
Starting point is 00:27:41 The boatman guys are out in the sun all day long, so they're like gnarly tan. Like the kind of tan you're like, oh, this isn't healthy. Yeah. Or someone smiles and you're like, oh boy. Oh shit. And then he's pure muscle like we said. So Chittenden quote, he was a perfect model for a Hercules. Okay. So he's that's hot. That's sexy. We're talking about sexy. Yeah. So, a lot of accounts say Mike was very hard fighting and hard drinking and a hardheaded like bragger who just lived kind of recklessly. That's his thing.
Starting point is 00:28:20 He sounds... It's pure... I mean, I guess what you basically did just describe is fully a leather pirate. Leather pirate. That's right. He's just leather river, leather river, a leather river pirate. Inland, an inland river pirate. But he's just, but it's just like he does everything he wants to do. And that's kind of the way it is. That's it. That's the deal. Yeah. It's just like your base instincts to just be like, I'll drink, I'll fuck, I'll shout, I'll kill, and everyone will love me.
Starting point is 00:28:53 And he wanted his way always, right? So Tavern's up and down in every port, knew who Mike was. He was drinking in everyone. And then he was happy to fight anybody who disagreed with him. Like if you disagree with him, he's like, all right, well, let's just deal with this with fists like you're supposed to. Sure. And so keel boats hit their peak in like 1817. Did they sink? And then steamboats. Yeah, then they just start sinking. And then steamboats come and kind of take over. Okay. So when that happened, Mike said the country is getting too civilized.
Starting point is 00:29:28 So one of those guys, it's like that video, remember that video where they were like, you can't drink open beers in your car anymore. And people are like, I mean, the government just took everything away from us. One false move. That's exactly it. I mean, the life is better for a guy on a boat because now they don't have to push the boat with oars and poles. But he liked that. But he liked that. He's like, that's how you do boating.
Starting point is 00:29:54 Yeah, right. Right. Because he talks so much and he was so aggressive, Mike was also called the snapping turtle. Okay. He also later got the nickname the snag. Sure, sure, because he's, I guess, difficult to move. I think so. He also wore, he started wearing a long red feather
Starting point is 00:30:16 in his felt hat. There we go, there it is. And that- There we go. And that, so everyone knew who they were dealing with on the boat or on the shore. He's a fucking idiot. They could see him. And then they, he was like, then who they were dealing with on the boat or on the shore. He's a fucking him. And then he was like, then pirates won't fuck with us because they'll see it's me. And they'll be like, no, I don't want to steal from that guy. Well, and then what you just do is you get the exact same hat.
Starting point is 00:30:36 And you know, you're just like, they all think I'm fake. Pirates don't do anything. Yeah, that's true. You could. But I don't think they did that kind of stuff back then. I don't think that's why I would have been so great in this area. That's true. You could. But I don't think they did that kind of stuff back then. I don't think people would like- But that's why I would have been so great in this era. Yeah, that's fair.
Starting point is 00:30:48 Like, again, I just missed my time. Yeah, you really did. You know what I mean? You could have been Red Feather Guy. I just could have been awesome. This would have been it. Shooting cans off my lady. Hey, put this can between your cans. I'm doing puns and shooting, babe. They didn't have puns back then. Gareth, the dollop is brought to you by Nutri-Full.
Starting point is 00:31:14 Dave, let's talk about it. Nutri-Full is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand with over one million people seeing thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding. I am a huge fan at this point, as I said before. The woman who cuts my hair looked at my hair recently and she was like, what? Are you using Rogaine or something? And I was like, no, I'm using this stuff called Nutrifol. And she was like, well, it's making a big difference. This is true.
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Starting point is 00:32:03 $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you go to nutriful.com slash men and enter the promo code the dollop. Find out why over 4,500 healthcare professionals and stylists recommend NutriFull for healthier hair. NutriFull.com slash men spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com slash man promo code the dollop. That's nutrifold.com. And we're brought to you by Airbnb Canada. Listen, I'm on the road a tremendous amount all the time. My life is travel and I always go with Airbnb if I can just because you get a better experience. And my mother was in town recently, and I ended up booking her an Airbnb instead of a hotel. And she just had hip surgery, so I
Starting point is 00:32:49 had to find a place that was very accommodating to her needs and found a place that she still talks about to this day. Like I've said before, I always like a home over a hotel. I call it a home tell. No, I don't. But I really like it. And she, like I said, she really, really appreciated it. But recently I was wondering, like, while I'm gone, what about my place?
Starting point is 00:33:09 Can my place pay in Airbnb? And the answer is yes. It can be as easy as putting your place up and then having a little more scratch generated from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. So Mike's two closest friends were William Carpenter and Levi Talbot, and they were all
Starting point is 00:33:39 pretty equal fighters and marksmen. And I seem to go with the job of Boltman, they like to drink obviously, all three of them. Sure, yep. Mike, known for drinking, but said he never got too drunk. Uh-huh. Which he bragged about all the time. He bragged about how he could hold this liquor, right?
Starting point is 00:34:01 He said he could polish off a gallon of whiskey and still shoot straight. Jesus Christ, what? And still shoot straight. What the fuck? He's 5'9". And this is whiskey back then. I mean, this is like made in a tub whiskey.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Yeah, it's like hardcore. Oh. It's like wood grain. Yeah. A reporter said he drank at least a gallon of, quote, Flemcutter or anti-fogmatic and then said, quote, he must fight something or catch the dry rot. I unfortunately blacked out after you said Flemcutter. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:39 Cause that's as good as it gets. The Flemcutter? Flemcutter as a gets. The phlegm cutter? Phlegm cutter as a liquor. It is a phlegm. Think about it. That's what I mean. It's like so... Perfect.
Starting point is 00:34:53 It's just very open with what we're going for. Yes. Mike and Carpenter like to put 10 cups of whiskey on each other's heads and use them for target practice. So that's what they... Well, that's how you go through a gallon a day. They did with each other. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Yeah. Right. Okay. So they just get drunk and shoot cans off each other's heads. Yeah. Cups usually- I mean, again, there was no Wi-Fi. They would do this from 70 yards away.
Starting point is 00:35:18 That's quite a distance. That's very far. So if people- what's a yard compared to a meter? I think it's around the same-ish, right? Hold on. Let me get my conversion hat on. I want to say three meters to a yard. No, but I think it's because it's three feet to a yard, right? Oh, that might be what I'm thinking of then. People listening right now just the anger pulsating through the edges. 1.04 yards. So it's it's a little bit. What is a meter or three meters? A meter is just
Starting point is 00:35:54 a tiny bit under a yard. Okay. So it's wrong. So 70 meters away. So they would always shoot the cup successfully, obviously, because they would have a head blown open. It's one of their favorite things to do, and it's what they're known for doing. It was said Mike shot a lock of hair off a Native American once. Probably. What was he going to do? He was trying to kill him, probably, right?
Starting point is 00:36:19 Yeah, I'm assuming the Native American didn't want that. Yeah. Way to go. Once while boating on the Mississippi River, Mike saw a sow with nine pigs on the bank. Oh, and he picked up his rifle and said in the standard Boatman dialect that he quote wanted to pig. I want to pig. Others asked him please do not shoot the pig. but he took the shot from about 40 or 50 yards away from the shore, and he shot pig after pig,
Starting point is 00:36:51 but just shot off their tails and nothing else. Okay, so. How do you feel about this, Jared? I don't know. I'm glad they probably lived. There's no need to do it, but again, I'm in his harem, so I'm just like, oh, that's hilarious. Those tails really bleed, so that's going to be tough for those little babies for sure. But boy, look at those things go.
Starting point is 00:37:16 That's hilarious, man. Mike, I'll tell you. Man, you are a cut up. Because when you said you wanted pig, I thought we were going to eat pig. But instead you just kind of mutilated them all for no real reason. Comedically just such a fun little space to be swimming around in right now. I'll tell you what, I am into what just happened. Hey, if you think I'm upset, I'll say this.
Starting point is 00:37:42 I don't think so. Oh, Christ Almighty. Hey, if you think I'm upset, I'll say this. I don't think so The little one doesn't look like it's moving the same no, hey, sorry buddy get out of the way we got a punchline Hell yeah, hell yeah, hell yeah, it's just nice to be out on the boat with some men who know what a goddamn joke is. Sick of these woke mob. You know what the woke mob would do if we told them we just shot a bunch of tails off pigs for no good reason? They'd like their torches and they'd try to take away our fun. And I just say to them, go back to your little weird dungeon.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Go put your model airplanes back together, you little creeps. Because we're men's men. And we like to have real fun. Anyway, I picked- And sorry, sometimes we're going to shoot little baby cutie piglets' tails off, even though they're cute. So, I went over to the shore and picked up the tails for you. Good.
Starting point is 00:38:44 Yes. Here's. Good. Yes. Here's your necklace. Yes. I'll wear this with great pride. Look at that. Look at how tiny some of these are. These pigs can't be more than two weeks old. I don't know the world out there.
Starting point is 00:38:56 And now they're probably just going to have a little bit of fear instilled in them forever. I'll tell you what, I replaced that little curly cue as a pint of total fear, just phobia over men and us. It gets better, Gareth. In 1821, he was on the levee in St. Louis when he saw a black kid just standing there staring. Mike noticed he had a strangely shaped foot. Oh, no. His heel stuck out the back so far
Starting point is 00:39:25 that it was like he had another foot in back. Uh huh. Quote, this unshapely form offended Mike's eye and outraged his sense of symmetry. I love that this guy's like, I'm like aesthetically kind of specific. I'm really into symmetry. Hey man, you got beef coming out of your pocket.
Starting point is 00:39:49 I'm kind of a neat freak. From 30 Paces, Mike shot the heel off. All right. Oh my, man oh man. Good one, good one. That's awesome. That is awesome, cause that kid's probably going through hell, and now he's gonna have a little bit less of a foot,
Starting point is 00:40:10 and you did it because, and to be honest, I think it was more of a shadow than anything, but I think it's great that you knocked that out. That is hysterical, that is so good. The boy dropped to the ground screaming, a murder, a code to murder. Yeah, man oh man, I'll tell you what, I'll never unhear that.
Starting point is 00:40:31 That is hysterical that you just shot a kid's foot off, a child, a child's. The heel, the foot still there, he fixed it. You fixed it, that's what I'm saying, he fixed it, back off Jack, I'm telling you, A child. A child. A heel. The heel. The heel. The foot. The foot. You fixed it. That's what I'm saying. Back off, Jack.
Starting point is 00:40:48 I'm telling you. I'm telling him he fixed it. He fixed it real good. Now, my only wonder is, can he get to a doctor pretty soon to make sure that we sort of bandage it properly and make sure it doesn't get infected the way you fixed it.
Starting point is 00:41:01 But I'll tell you what, here's what's great. We're gonna keep going and we're probably not gonna think much about it, especially me. And that kid will think about that moment for the rest of his life. Like the pigs. Like the pigs. Here I am forgetting about those, what was that, a month ago?
Starting point is 00:41:17 That was hysterical too. I can't wait to see what innocent victim he shoots something off of next. So Mike for this was arrested and indicted and put on trial. Oh, that's good. That's shocking news. Instead of walking to court, he ordered his men to put his boat on a wagon and push it through town to the court. Sure.
Starting point is 00:41:40 Of course. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. He said he, quote, felt at home nowhere but in his boat and among his men. It's becoming strange and sad. He told the judge.
Starting point is 00:41:55 It's like a whoopie. He told the judge that he was just trying to fix the kid's foot so he could wear a proper shoe. That is like such a classic, you've been caught with your hand in the cookie jar bullshit. I cared about the kid. It's a drunk guy excuse. I cared about him. I hope it's better. I performed a medical procedure called shooting.
Starting point is 00:42:20 The judge did not buy this and found him guilty, but he didn't get much of a sentence because he was soon right back on the river. As compensation for what he'd done, Mike sent the slave, quote, a handful of silver to extract the pain from his shortened heel. By the way, I'm pretty sure he sent that to the owner and not the kid specifically. Well, it's not shocking, but also shocking. Yeah. Well that yeah, it's not shocking but also shocking. Yeah At some point on his travels. He did run across Davy Crockett and they were probably the two most famous guys out there and
Starting point is 00:42:58 So they did have a meeting but we don't exactly know I tried to find it But most people are like he probably said this to him and he probably said this back. So No one really knows but they, but they were both known for being huge braggers. Yeah, but Davey had the song. Mike didn't have the song. Yeah, he did have the song. The song did it all for Davey. Yeah, oh.
Starting point is 00:43:14 Yeah. That's it. I mean, imagine being such a good, so what Davey Crockett, he went on the frontier and he was just awesome and everyone was like, man. No, we'll do one about Davey Crockett, but it's not, it's definitely not. We should write
Starting point is 00:43:25 A song for Mike. Yeah, you better think Think about what you're trying to do something like that. Maybe Not think you kind of ripped off the first one you ripped off another song Yeah William Ashley placed an ad in parallel St. Louis Intelligencer on September 17, 1822, seeking able-bodied men of hard-working spirit to become engaged on the Missouri River fur trade. Quote, To enterprising young men, the subscriber wishes to engage 100 young men to ascend the Missouri River to its source, there to
Starting point is 00:44:06 be employed for one, two, or three years for particulars, inquire Major Andrew Henry near the lead mines of the County of Washington. Okay. So, Mike Talbot and Carpenter join up with this new company. Of course. They're the perfect guys for the job. They're boatmen, they're trappers, they're hunters. Other men in the company included Hugh Glass and Jedidiah Smith.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Jesus Christ. So we've got a dollop, a boat, a dollop boat basically. A ballop. So we've got all these guys sharing a project. Three dollops in one boat, basically. By late October, they traveled to the mouth of the Yellowstone River and built a fort. Now you call it a fort, but it's probably just a fort. Pillows. Shack. Yeah. All the while, they're hunting and trapping animals who are just mining their own business
Starting point is 00:45:00 out in nature and making this company rich. They're just making tons of money. Then a small party breaks off and walks up the Missouri River on foot with instructions to hunt and trap. Fink, Jedidiah Smith, and William Carpenter are part of that group. They get to their destination, which is the mouth of the Mussel Shell River, and they make really crude sort of dwellings, places to live in for the time they're going to be there.
Starting point is 00:45:33 Smith, quote, our houses being finished were well prepared for the increasing cold. When the weather had at length become extremely cold, that ice strong and firm across the river, we were astonished to see the buffalo come pouring in from all sides into the valley, and particularly the vast bands that came from the north and crossed over to the south side of the ice. We therefore had them in thousands around us and nothing more required of us than to select and kill the best for our use whenever we might choose. So they're just meat. There's just meat there.
Starting point is 00:46:04 Meat and pikes. Shoot buffaloes at will. Sure. So they're just meat. There's just meat there. Meat and heights. Shooting buffaloes at will. Yeah. One legend said Fick had 100 rifle balls and he said he would bring in 100 choice hides and meet that night and he did. So he killed 100 in a day. It's pretty great.
Starting point is 00:46:20 Yeah, it's awesome. That's what nature. That's what happened, right? I mean, the heights just took out all the buffalo. Massacred, yeah. And then at some point just killed them to kill the Native Americans. Yeah, right. Cool.
Starting point is 00:46:37 Yeah, it's super cool. But the Native Americans were upset at this time because they would just take the hide and the meat and they're like, you know there's tons of other stuff on the buffalo that you should take to use, like you use the whole animal. Yeah. Now Mike and Carpenter are roommates. They live in a cave that they carved out of the river in Bankman.
Starting point is 00:46:57 So this is disgusting. This is like, these are pig mud people. These are terrible. This is awful. The smell, everything, it's dirt. It's just guys in dirt. It's muggy, it's wet. Yeah, it's terrible. There's nothing about this that is-
Starting point is 00:47:14 They're not, there's no soap. No, this is a bad- They're working hard. It's a bad thing. Just... So they hole up there for the winter, and at some point they have a serious disagreement. And others have to come over and get involved and calm them down. No one knows exactly what they
Starting point is 00:47:32 were fighting about, but it sounds like a Native American woman was part of it. So they're fighting over a lady. Apparently, they're both into her. And Mike did have a kid that was born in Yellowstone, so maybe it was over that woman. Another belief is that it was over a bet, but either way, they aren't getting along in their little mud cave. Sure. Which is hard to believe,
Starting point is 00:47:57 because usually in that kind of comfortable situation, you're just getting along. It's hard to nitpick when you're doing so well. Yeah. In the spring, they head back to the fort, and when they get there, they hit the whiskey pretty hard. Uh-oh. By the way, a government regulation forbade the use of free alcohol at trading posts on
Starting point is 00:48:17 the Missouri River, which caused a lot of disagreement between the men and the commander, Major Henry. So, Mike seemed to be the most upset about the not drinking thing. I feel, and I don't want to push him, maybe had a little bit of a drinking issue. Yeah, I would say this should be called drunk man out west.
Starting point is 00:48:38 Maybe he was a little, he liked to get wet. Yeah, I mean, yeah. He liked to get wet. Yeah. I mean, yeah. The West to him is like the fart chair to my dad. Well, let's all take a minute. Let that think in. I got to see if my sister has a picture of him in the chair.
Starting point is 00:49:03 I honestly, I don't even know if I want to know. I don't know if I want to see that. I told you my agent is obsessed with that. Yeah, he used to be my agent. Yeah. He loves it. Ends emails with RIP far chair. Truly one of the only guys in the agency business that I really like. And Z-Mails with RIP Farchair.
Starting point is 00:49:25 One of the, truly one of the only guys in the agency business that I really liked. TJ Markwalter is the greatest. Super good guy. The greatest. Yeah. The Knoxville Register quote, one of his freaks was to march with his rifle into the fort and demand a supply of spirits. I love the framing of one of his freaks.
Starting point is 00:49:49 That feels like a thing. That feels like a TikTok trend, like, what are you freaks? He would walk in. So his freak is essentially to get liquor at gunpoint. Yeah, from the major in charge. I got weird quirks. Yeah, one of my quirks. One of my weird things. I like to liquor-rob the people above me. To demand my nephew just sent me
Starting point is 00:50:15 a text. Uh-oh. Biden dropped out. No. Oh, I'm getting a shitload of texts. So yeah, this must have happened. I am too now. My sister and Graham Elwood and Katie Helper. Oh yeah, we're getting there. And Josh Olson. Yeah. It's Jover. Jover. Joey B out.
Starting point is 00:50:37 This is like, I was doing a live podcast with Karen Kugarev and Greg Barrett when Osama bin Laden got killed. Oh, wow. So it's like that. It's like one of those moments. Wow. Well, what a hard to believe, but also even harder to believe is that tomorrow he won't remember and we'll keep running for president. I really am like, okay, it's like a breakup.
Starting point is 00:51:09 Okay, you've had the breakup conversation and now it's a little of like, now what? Now I'm going to stay out of it. You know a joke I tried out last night? I thought of it right before I went on stage and and I was with two buddies, and I told them and they started laughing. I was like, I'll do that. I went up there, I said it. It was a silent, I can't remember the last time I got less of a reaction to a joke.
Starting point is 00:51:37 I was like, it was legitimately crazy and I opened with it. I did a quick little thing, but then I like first joke. I was like, here's a joke I was like and it's strange that Trump got shot in the head and Biden went down God it was the most snake eyes. He is snake eyes. That's a good joke That's what I thought and I had like a follow-up thing that I'd said like off the cuff to them, too But I was like, I can't say there's no You got to rip the get out of here fast. No, you can't tag once you get silence. There's no tagging Yeah, you're not like although here's a callback. Although I've seen a lot of people do that. Oh, yeah
Starting point is 00:52:15 Yeah, okay. So he likes to go in to the forward and demand booze Yeah, so Mike was denied by the majors, so he shot a ball through the cask and then walked up and filled his can from the whiskey coming out of the hole. Okay, badass. And other people then lined up behind him and did the same. Well, cause he probably didn't think, I should have shot a little higher up,
Starting point is 00:52:38 that thing's got fully drained. Ha ha ha ha ha. Mike was not punished as it was chalked up to his quote, queer ways. Sure. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's like when you have a fucking amazing, it's like Rodman. You're like, look, it's kind of crazy, but he gets a lot of rebounds. So let's let him do some stuff.
Starting point is 00:52:59 Drinking revives the argument between Mike and Carpenter. And once again again others intervene and they agree to let it go, but it's simmering. As evidence of the piece, Mike said they should do their old classic, shooting whiskey cups from each other's heads. I don't know if you should do that when you have a ton of tension with the other guy. Mike said it would show their trust and the confidence they had in each other. I don't like that.
Starting point is 00:53:26 I'm going to flag this setup now. Well, who would shoot first was obviously very important. Yeah, because who's going to kill the other guy. So to decide that, Mike said they should, quote, spin. Why don't we shoot hands off each other's head to figure out who goes first? Mike said they should sky a copper, so that's to flip a coin. Sky a copper? Why did that go away?
Starting point is 00:53:49 I know there are things that should not have gone away, right? Sky a copper is amazing. For the Super Bowl? All right, we're going to sky a copper. So Mike won. Uh-oh. So he's going to shoot first. And at that point, Carpenter said he thought Mike planned to shoot and kill him because
Starting point is 00:54:05 Mike couldn't let anything go. But Carpenter's not about to back down because he had made an agreement and you don't walk away from an agreement. So he just- No. Yeah. You hold onto your integrity when you're not alive. So he just prepares to die instead.
Starting point is 00:54:21 Okay. He gives his rifle, bullet pouch, powder horn, belt, pistol, and money to Talbot and then goes to the spot where they're going to do the shooting thing. He filled the cup all the way up with whiskey and put it on his head. And Mike loaded his rifle. And Carpenter then stood there. And Mike was about 60 yards away and he aims. He said, quote, oh, that he lowered the gun.
Starting point is 00:54:48 And he said, quote, hold your noddle steady. Noddle, it's gotta be noodle, it's noddle, it says noddle. Hold your noddle, maybe I wrote it wrong, but hold your noddle steady, Carpenter, and don't spill the whiskey, as I shall want some presently. Now I'd- That would make you feel like he's not going to kill him. Yeah, but if he shoots the cup, there's going to be no whiskey in it.
Starting point is 00:55:10 Dave, trying to get into the heads of these gentlemen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A fool's errand. And then he shot Carpenter in the middle of the forehead. Oh, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ. Mike blew smoke out of the barrel of his gun while looking at the body of Carpenter and then he said, quote, Carpenter, you have spilled the whiskey. And someone then told him, Mike, you killed him. He's dead. Someone that said he was dead. And everyone's pretty upset at this point, especially by Mike's casual attitude. But Mike apparently says he did not mean to kill him, quote, it's all a mistake for I
Starting point is 00:55:56 took as fine a bead on the black spot on the cup as I ever took on a squirrel's eye. How did it happen? Well, obviously, it's very clear what he's saying. It is the perfect coverup. Yes. You can't, what are you going to do? They did it all the time. Yeah. It's a high risk sport they were involved in. Yeah. And then he cursed the rifle and the bullet and then he cursed himself. Everyone's pretty suspicious, obviously, because they had argued and Mike also never missed. By the way, that's the last time you play that game.
Starting point is 00:56:30 That's it. You just put them in the rafters. There's no law enforcement out there of any kind, right? The men for years been afraid of Mike, so everyone just kind of lets it go. If you were in his posse, you had to go like, oh, whoa, this party just got crazy. Mike, oh my Lord. Well Carpenter is no more.
Starting point is 00:56:57 No, he's not around. He is, that is a doornail. You know what I loved is how you were like, don't spill that whiskey, and then all that blood just oozed out of his head. Yeah. Man, oh, God damn. Every day with you's a ride. I love it, man.
Starting point is 00:57:15 I know, I'm pretty great. You're a wild man. Say I'm great, say I'm great. You're great. Yeah, funny too, right? I'm funny. And man, funny is an understatement. You are hysterical.
Starting point is 00:57:28 Can I have your money? Yes, take it all. Yeah? Okay, cool. And the way that you've moved on so quickly from that cold-blooded shit is just, man, I love it. I love it. I love it.
Starting point is 00:57:38 I love being around. You're my man. Yeah. You're my guy. Every day with you is just a ride that I don't want to leave. Can I have your shoes? Yes. Taking them off right now. Okay, cool.
Starting point is 00:57:48 Have one and two. That snow is cold, but I dare you mind, my man. You are the best. That's your wife back there, right? Yes, it is. Yes, Kathy has been a supporter of mine. I spend the night with her? Absolutely. Kathy, get over here. Mike Brumannachta is you right now. So there you go. Have her at Boyle Boys. This is your dog?
Starting point is 00:58:13 Yeah, that's right. That's Lucy. I don't have a dog. She's a sweet little lady. Yeah, well, now you do. You're one dog richer, amigo. And I know how you are with animals. So cut her up, eat her, make steaks out of her, do whatever.
Starting point is 00:58:25 You're just a pleasure every minute. A pleasure, if I may be totally honest with you. Now that's your hand, right? I have two of them. I have one too many is what I like to say. You need that? Let's just get the hatchet over here and cut it right off. I don't know what the hell you'd do with a hand.
Starting point is 00:58:42 I mean, it's not like you could do much with that. I'm gonna put on a hat. I'm gonna put on a hat. Well, that's a crazy, that's upsetting to some people. To me, I say, that's a funny chapeau, my friend. Thank you. My life is gonna get a lot more complicated without that. And then the last thing,
Starting point is 00:58:58 I think, your tongue. Yeah, absolutely. Yes, you should have it. All I've been doing is licking your ass with it. Why not just put it directly in there, my man? Go ahead and slice that off. Okay. Well, why don't I do, I'll go tongue then hand, just so that I'm able to use both to take the tongue out.
Starting point is 00:59:14 I'm just thinking a little strategy-wise here, so why don't we make sure that happens in that order? Use the knife. Go ahead. Yeah, okay. All right. Well, yeah, yeah, okay. All right. Well, yeah Last thing is I'm gonna put a bullet in your head.
Starting point is 00:59:48 Except the one guy who held onto it pretty tight, the anger, the injustice of it all, was Levi Talbot, who was probably Carpenter's best friend. He thought Mikey just killed Carpenter, and so he vowed revenge when he got a chance. So a few months later, Mike was on one, just ripped, and he starts bragging that he'd killed Carpenter on purpose and was happy to do it. So Talbot quickly pulled out his pistol, it was the one Carpenter had given him,
Starting point is 01:00:19 and he shot Mike in the heart. I like the way that he's like, wants the opportunity, like to me that's just like, once I have a moment to make it look like the way that he's like once the opportunity like to me That's just like once I have a moment to make it look like an accident He just is like you said a bunch of shit now. I'm gonna shoot your heart Well, I think you got to be careful because there's no legal authorities Yes, then he's just waiting for the right moment that the right motivated Yeah, and that does then everyone be like well. he did say he killed a carpenter who was happy.
Starting point is 01:00:46 So I guess it works. Nothing was done to Talbot, just like the same with Mike. No one really had any authority. Most probably didn't want to do anything because it was justice, basically, for what he'd done to a carpenter. And then on top of that, Talbot is also a terrifying person, and no one wanted to be his enemy. Three months later, Talbot was in the Arikara battle
Starting point is 01:01:09 and proved himself to be very cool and a great fighter. And then 10 days after that, he went for a swim in the Teton River and drowned. So he didn't make it through that year either. So they're both dead. So all three guys are dead basically. Okay, cool. Logs from the expedition quote, Holly Wheeler died from wounds received from a bear. Mike
Starting point is 01:01:29 Fink shot carpenter Talbot soon shot Fink and not long after was himself drowned at the Tetons. Wow. So that's like in the records of the expedition. Mike Fink was called the last of the boatmen and word of his death then spread in newspapers. There's different versions on how he died, but that seems to be the correct one. Later in 1923, Blackfeet warriors were on the banks of the Missouri River. They had just killed four American trappers and were looking for others to kill. And then they came across- In 1823?
Starting point is 01:02:02 Yes. What did I say? 19? Yeah. Sorry, it says 19 here. I just would love to picture 1923 like, it's called the Charleston. Hey, whoa, what the hell? So they're looking for others and they come across the crudely built Yellowstone Fort,
Starting point is 01:02:17 which is abandoned at this time. And they want to fight, but there's no one there. So they start ransacking it. They find nothing inside because they took everything when they left. Outside, they find two graves, which they dug up to pillage whatever, clothes, valuables, whatever's inside,
Starting point is 01:02:33 and they found the bodies, quote, a putrid state and left them without further molestation. Within five years, Mike's grave was a landmark for travelers to stop and see. And his legend grew as stories were told about him. And as the country expands, he's like this guy that everyone loves to talk about. People also came to believe that Talbot had died while being transported on his way to St. Louis to stand trial when he jumped overboard and drowned, but that's not true.
Starting point is 01:03:05 Oh, okay. In 1829, the Vermont Aurora wrote, quote, at the court of Charlemagne, he might have been a Roland. With the Crusaders, he would have been the favorite of the Knight of the Lionhearts. And in our revolution, he would have ranked with the Morgans and Puritans of the day. He was a hero of a hundred fights and a leader of a thousand daring adventures. Often at night, when his tired companions slept, he would take an excursion five or six miles and return before morning, rich in spoil."
Starting point is 01:03:38 So after he died, they just came up with shit like that and he just became like- It's really interesting. He was just like a It's really interesting. Like he was just like a huge asshole. Yeah. He's a drunken asshole. Like he's just a huge dick and we're all like, man, they don't make them like this anymore. And they still, like if you go and look up like his name, whatever, it'll be like, he's
Starting point is 01:04:01 just crazy daredevil. You're like, no, he's a fucking drunken dick. We really do, people are always trying to be like, man, it just used to be a man's man. But it's like, people who got drunk all the time made everyone feel fucking uncomfortable, took whatever the fuck they wanted. The celebration of individuals like that is... It's probably that. Yeah, like should the celebration of individuals like that is it's it's it's it's everywhere There's this country's inability to like ever reassess its past and its history and instead we just are like
Starting point is 01:04:34 Man, they were awesome. And then if you like say they're not awesome, then people are man. You said it's like a Woke canceler whatever but yeah, this guy just sounds like a fucking dick. Yeah It's funny now But it was what a horrible human to be around. Yeah, he was a fucking asshole, but now he's like What a mountain man Christ but this is how a lot of the people who love authoritarian types and whatnot love Trump.
Starting point is 01:05:07 This is because this spirit of America. Yeah, right. Right. I think they even own it. Your point, I think they own and admit the fact that he's just a prick. And again, there are times where that makes you laugh a little bit, but it's certainly not a philosophy to hinge your future to. None of it is.
Starting point is 01:05:29 No. No, it's bad. It's bad. It's all horrendous and it's just like, oh, man. Yeah. I don't know. It's very strange what seems to just be bone deep in our culture. Stop it. No more winking.
Starting point is 01:05:45 Take bone deep again. No. That's what makes me wink. No. Say it. No, there's that story in the Howard Zinn book, The People's History, where it's like, I don't know if it's the Spaniards or whatever it is, but a Spaniard just cuts someone's throat and the natives are just like oh fuck. Yeah
Starting point is 01:06:06 They're just like that is so unmotivated. They're just like this is how we operate and they're all like what dude Like and then like someone else like protest and they like cut their arm off and they're just like oh, we're dealing with like some psychotic shit that Yeah, that ever seen. That was Columbus shit. They were fucking just madmen. That was all it really was. It wasn't like, oh, fantastic explorers. It was just like, oh no, they would just do anything for gold. And that was just different. Yeah, dude. Good times.
Starting point is 01:06:43 Yeah, yeah. No, absolutely. I think the point is we're trying to say good times and it seems like a perfect segue to remind people to go to join the dollar plus on the app. Let's all enjoy the ride. There you go. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Fun, fun, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:05 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:13 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:21 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. and I ended up booking her an Airbnb instead of a hotel and she just had hip surgery. So I had to find a place that was very accommodating to her needs and found a place that she still talks about to this day. You know, like I've said before, I always like a home over a hotel. I call it a home tell. No, I don't. But I really like it. And she, like I said, she really, really appreciated it. But recently I was wondering like while I'm gone, what about my place?
Starting point is 01:07:45 Can my place pay in Airbnb? And the answer is yes, it can be as easy as putting your place up and then having a little more scratch generated from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host.

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