The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 652 - Davy Crockett

Episode Date: September 24, 2024

Comedians Gareth Reynolds and Dave Anthony examine American hero Davy Crockett Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources   Mint Mobile  Squarespace  Helix Sleep

So I travel a lot. I mean a lot perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right? So I'm out there. I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy and I want all the comforts of home That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado And I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff and before we got to the gigs We were like, let's just get an Airbnb and it is just a more comforting existence you have a kitchen you have a yard you know it's communal living it's just a less stressful place more enjoyable experience so when I go on tour you know like I'll be going on tour

in a couple months I always am like well could my place be an Airbnb you know just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money. And the answer to that is yes, yes, it can be an Airbnb. It's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away. So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world. Turn your home into an Airbnb.

Give it a shot. You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. You're listening to The Dollop on the All Things Comedy Network. This is an American History podcast where each week I, David Anthony, read a story from American history to boy in a band. Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Boy in a band? What are you talking about?

You got a boy band here. Are you going to boy band officially? You know, honestly, this is, you want to honestly know a revelation I had the other day that was really hard. So, I wear this little St. Christopher thing, the patron saint of travel because my mother got into a handful of change. You do stuff.

I had a nice shirt on and I had my beard and my hair and I looked in the mirror and I was like I kind of look like Andy Samberg when he did it's my dick in a box. 100%. I didn't want to say anything for a while but it's it's the look that's been coming together that's the look. They found great success. Gareth, if people want to find us ad free and find videos that we do, videos of every podcast. We also do these things called chops, like topical stuff, and other stuff included. We got a whole series of the office, but in a van, right? Like the television show The Office, Van Life.

A lot of content. So we have a bunch of stuff over there on Patreon. By the way, we are 500 away from 10,000. Don't let the people, Dave, think that we're lying to them when we say we're going to watch some Steven Seagal movies together because once we have our little studio set up, we are going to do that. So why not get in there now and just start consuming hundreds of hours of extra dollop content?

Get busy, as they say. And extra content, like a reverse small up go to our Apple Plus. We have one of those too. So there's two places for you to go listen to extra stuff. Second season of the UK episodes. That's right. And if you want to talk shit about us, there's a subreddit. How often are you in there and how toxic is it in there? I never go in there. I'm not in there that often. I was in there a lot this week because I was doing research and I had to be on Reddit a

lot for it. But no, I'm not in there that much actually. But when I am, there's, yeah, well actually- Is it mostly positive or mostly negative like it's not like the homeless cats No, it's not terrible when I started it. I would block anybody who is negative and then and Then that's the when I left and stopped modding. I the guys who took oh you used to be a mod Yeah, yeah It's really like and so I just said anybody who's like a dick or mean or says anything bad about us or negative

about the show, just get rid of them because you don't need those people around. Like just it's people who want to talk about enjoying the show. If you don't like it, go over to something awful or something and you can go over to our 4chan. I also think that it's like when you do this, the one negative, I was on, I think it's called Smoke and Tires, Matt Farah, who's a big fan of the show. I was on his and I, for some reason just went, I did it a while ago.

He really wants to have you on by the way. I did it a while ago and it was like, some people were just like talking about how I didn't know anything about cars, which I was like, yeah, that's fair. I did it a while ago. And it was like, some people were just like, talking about how I didn't know anything about cars, which I was like, yeah, that's fair. One guy was just like, this guy's so annoying. Come on. Well, I mean, we're in the business of, we are restaurants to humans. You're gonna get yelped badly in some ways, and so that's just part of it.

People are very upset that I block a lot of people, and it's like, yeah, I mean, I just don't wanna hear it, so, sorry. And they're always like, it's because you don't like my opinions, and I'm like, there might be something else going on in there with, because there's a lot of people whose opinions I don't like, but I don't block,

so, I don't like that I don't block so now I want to think about that for me it takes an extreme to be to block because you need which is all yours because the person I mean now I like muting it's like my way of it's just like the person's now in a forest alone it is it's but it's also they don't know right that's why it's meaner. Yeah. And then sometimes I'll be like, it'll be like a comment from an account you muted and I'll be like, I'm muted and they'll be saying something positive and I'll be like, what did you do?

Yeah, what did you do? What's that one day? Yeah, but you did something, didn't you? But you had a bad day. You were bad one day. Yeah, there was a guy. He hits my dick in a box. Go ahead. There was a guy in a box. Go ahead.

There was a guy talking about me and I blocked him like a year and a half ago and he explained why I was completely out of line and he was so bad on Twitter that I remember blocking him a year and a half ago. So he was like doing this whole thing about why I was out of line and I was like, dude, I remember you. That's how bad you were. Yeah. Yeah. Hall of Fame blockings. Yeah. I was out of line and I was like, dude, I remember you. That's how bad you were. Yeah.

Hall of Fame blockings. Yeah. Okay. Here we go. You ready? It's a show. It's not a show. I'm not scared.

I am wondering, should we start eating during these? I have all this food here. Should we start eating? I think that's the culture. It's going in that direction. People love, first of all, people love the sound of our podcast. They also love just the eating and everything else. Should I just get started?

Sound. Look, we're the bad boys. Should I just have the noodles? Mm hmm. It's a sideshow. That's what it's called. Poodling. Yeah.

Yeah. August 17th, 1786, year of our Lord J-Town. Sure. He's jet skiing out to Catalina. Quite a distance. David Crockett was born into a very, going big, going with one of the bigs. This is great, because I, shocker, spoiler, no nothing except for the song.

And I think you referenced him on one where he was like the top gun explorer or whatever. I had read a little snippets of here. I guess that when someone's a really popular pop culture history person, like Crockett was in the 50s, like this huge guy with Disney and stuff, like TV show and whatnot, they just don't interest me anymore, like I just kind of stopped paying attention to him. So I'd never really,

he would come up in a couple of books here and there that I read, like what kind of person he was. But you would just like sell out. I never really paid attention. And I knew where he died, but those are the only things I knew about him. That's classic Dave take. Mm-hmm. With the man pass.

I know what kind of hat he wore. That was it. Yeah. Okay. David Crag was born into a very poor family in what is now Green County, Tennessee, a bit east of Knoxville. Okay. This was the state of Franklin,

which was not legally a state. We had a state called Franklin for a minute. Well, they just said they were Franklin, but it wasn't an actual, like it wasn't. But at this time, wasn't that basically what it all was? No, because the- Someone was just like, we're Clarksville. No, the government had to say, okay,

you're territory, and then it's states. We are the state of marshmallow. But there's been the state of Jefferson. There's been different. Where Beth? I think they want to make a state of Jefferson in Northern California.

I think that's what they're trying to do. Whatever. It's just people are just weird. Franklin after the president? Yeah, I think so. Or maybe the cartoon? Interesting. The area was frequently in conflict.

They declared independence from North Carolina in 1784, but were completely unorganized. It was later absorbed into Tennessee, and then there was a mad scramble for land between speculators and squatters. Okay, sure. So rich guys and poor guys. Yeah. Yeah. Classic battle.

And then there's also win that one. I have hope the rich guys do. There were endless fights between the Cherokee and treaty violators. If you can imagine that have tree violators, treaty. Okay. Also tree. Tree too. The first governor of Tennessee territory was William Blount who was who the Cherokee called dirt captain. That's pretty good. Now I'm just gonna say I heard it. Is that Luke's nickname?

I yes. I didn't look up why they call them dirt captain because I loved it so much. I didn't want it to be spoiled. You wanted it to remain purely anything you wanted it to be. Anything it could be. Your fantasy. I mean, it's probably because of land takeover and things like that. I'm sure it was. Yeah, something terrible.

Pillaging. It was definitely terrible, whatever it was. From 1787 to 1811, David's formative years, the government kept sending in troops to remove squatters. Okay. So, this made everyone in the area hostile to DC. Sure. David's dad, John, had fought in the American Army.

DC, Davy Crockett. Right. What did I say, DC? Mm-hmm. Whoops. What were you supposed to say? I had the initial in here and I didn't realize I did that. Okay. No, DC being the city named after David. But the how is this episode? It's District of Columbia. It's terrible. District of Columbia. Yes. Dirt captain.

David's dad, John, had fought in the American Revolution. There's a lot of D's. Can I just real quick national treasure this? It's a little too many DC's going on here from my liking. His mom was Rebecca Hawkins. When Dave was seven, they bought a small log tavern on the road between Knoxville and Abingdon, Virginia.

Sure. So, yeah, so to get the road, the road drinkers. Travel, drive, drinkers on the road. Everyone. Party boys. Everyone. Anyone nearby. So, back then, obviously, kids had to work.

What do they drink back then? Beaver piss? It's just ale. Mostly ale. Yeah they would ferment it till it was alcohol. That's why they killed most of the beavers was to get the piss. No problem. No problem there. Gotta kill a cow to get milk from it like the expression goes. That's not an expression. At 12 David was sent to be an indentured servant for a mean Virginian on a 400 mile cattle drive. That's cool. Yeah. 12.

I just imagine this. I wonder if he then had to come back alone, or if they brought him back. Bringing him back is weird. Yeah. He's really in a bad place now. Larry's here. He's hiding. Sure, I would. He's hiding from

Maple. So there's a lot going on here with dogs. Yeah. An older kid, upon returning he goes, he starts, he goes back to school, right? Yep. And an older kid immediately upon returning, he goes back to school, right? Yep. And an older kid immediately started bullying him. So after four days, David hid behind a bush and waited and then quote, set upon him like a wild cat. Mm. So he clawed his face off.

Clawed his face off, yeah. Bit his neck. Bit his neck, clawed his face off. Clod his face off, yeah. Bit his neck. They had his neck, clod his face. So he was then, David was then scared that the schoolmaster would, should I be worried that the dog is eating something? No, no, no. Dogs like to eat things off couches. Yeah, that's really. That's fine too.

And that was, and for those of you listening, not seeing the video, it wasn't like a little something. It was like a little something. It was like a quarter of a Clif bar. It was like a substantial amount of food for a dog. Yes, it was. I guarantee it was not food. I guarantee it was something else that just ran into that dog. The appearance of food as far as the chewing and the swallowing went.

Now we watch. That's what's great about dogs. Okay, let's wait. Can watermelon rind affect your dog badly? Can your dog eat 12 hot dogs? Let's find out. God. Okay. So, so he's scared after he beats up the kid and sure Wildcats and that the the schoolmaster is gonna be Really pissed and whip him so he plays hooky from school Okay, and then his dad finds out and now he's scared his dad's gonna beat him. So he runs away Okay, Wow

And then he lives for a couple years on the road. Just working on Yeah, there you go. That's his escalation. He ran away. He full ran away. He's gone. And he at this point is how old? He left when he was probably 13.

Okay, so he's now 13. He's worked for a year as an indentured servant. He beat a kid and now he's just working because he's like, my dad's going to be mad. Yeah, what would you do? I? Can see myself going that way yeah, so he comes back when he's 15 And he's so he's like grown up at that point and they don't even recognize him right? It's called purity You're gonna hit it at some point so he gets a job on a farm to help pay off his father's debts and

There was some sort of thing. I mean we really Is bad? Yeah, it's not a good life so far right now. Yeah Welcome home boy now You got a work So he falls for and courts a really good looking local woman. She's since passed. She actually did pass on him because she's already engaged.

Oh, so she said no, but she still has passed. Yeah, everyone in this story, just let me jump in. Hold on Dave, let me just tell the audience a little something. Everyone you're going to hear in this story is no longer with us. So don't get too attached. OK, go ahead. David Grogg it is still with us. Is that right? Yep.

Hmm. Well, I mean, he started the show in the 50s. Sure. It's just just like 10 years ago. David, you're dropping a lot of lines. And I am not an actor. Update, the neighbor's dog is barking, so everyone here is on high alert. Okay. Larry's looking out the window. Cool.

It's a good thing Larry ate a Clif Bar. Larry's now looking out the window. He now... One of the reasons he thinks she didn't want to even do with him, I mean besides her being engaged, was that he didn't really have an education. So he's like, I need an education. So he jumps into schooling like full on, just constant schooling, hardcore for six months,

and then he starts courting another woman. I'm reading. Will sex be possible? Would you like me to read this to you? Do you like Robert Frost? May I go down on you? Her name was Polly Finley and she goes for it. She likes this rough, tumble fella.

Yeah. And they get married. Mind if I put on your beaver hat? They get married on August 14th, 1806, and then they move to a tiny rented farm. May I lick your pelt? I don't think that's appropriate. How about a little bit of a fur trade? Can I finish the ceremony? The vows are terrible. So I would like to

not. How long until I can go down to the fur area? Again, we just want to get the rings on the fingers and get to the I love you forever part. A lot of the. There's a ring on my tongue. A lot of the stuff you're doing now during the ceremony is not needed and Maybe we can save it for I think when I'm done with you, you're gonna go beaver damn Okay But do you will you until Death to you partner or whatever just whoever pelted felt it say yes and put the ring on the finger because she's crying You that's not the only spot that's gonna be wet when Davey's done with her.

Okay. Davey, Davey, cock it. Let me do it. Let me go. I've done a lot of weddings. I think I invented pre-cum. This is the worst one I've ever officiated. I do.

By far. Well, she's trying. She's gone. She left. I'm bi. Nope. I'm not? No, I'm saying no.

No. Okay. There we go. Let me have a smoke on that pipe you got between your legs. It's really upsetting how many of those you came up with. Let me have a smoke on that pipe you got between your legs. It's really upsetting how many of those you came up with. So they pretty quickly fail at farming. They're just not good at it.

Sure. And then they decide to head west. Get that water away from that soil, you fool. They say head west, settle on the Elk River near the Alabama border. And now they have two sons after a little bit. And David starts making some money. He's a better hunter than a farmer. Mostly he shoots deer and bear.

They would eat the meat and sell the skins. Any rabbits or anything like that? No, I've got to go big. Bear. Go big. How do you guys like your bear? Barbecue burgers. My cousin eats bear all the time. That's insane. Although the other the other like a little while ago, he was like, I'm taking my buddy bear hunting and I was like, well, don't do that. He was there's so many he works for the fishing game, whatever. So he's like, there are too many bear right now.

But he would go up there to kill the bear. And then he and then he called me up after a week and a half. He goes, yeah, we didn't actually shoot a bear. I was like, good. I you know what I love? This is what I love. I love the there's too many of them argument. That to me is my favorite. We have put malls in every spot humanly possible.

If you're talking about an invasive species, look no further than the one in the mirror. And I always hear people be like, hey, listen, you got to go get it. There's too many deer. It's like, yeah, that's nature. Can I just say you sound like a crybaby? It's just amazing to me when people, and it's like, it works. You go, there are a lot of deer this year. Go kill them.

It's like, have you, you should see the plane I was on yesterday. Like, that's what there's too many of. There's not, until we like call this, there's not too many of anything, oh man, we really gotta take care of these bears. It's weird, it's weird that this show started, we started talking about David Crockett

and now you're talking about fitting out the people. Hunt, hunting man. Ha ha ha ha. So David's so good at hunting that he becomes known for it. Yeah. In one season. He's on like Teen Bop. You're going to love this. In one season, he killed 105 bears. Oh, my God, sir. Sir.

You're telling me that you are consuming a bear every three days or you're over killing. I hope that he came across like a concert. Well what is he? Why that's not all just so the skins it is all pure. Okay. There's no way he ate all that. I mean he probably gave the bear meat away to people who didn't have bear meat.

Christ Dave you're huge. I'm I'm averaging a bear every three days. What? You're not. Why? You don't have to eat the whole thing. Just give some of the meat away. I don't know.

I feel like that's wrong. Anyone for ass? Jesus Christ, that was funny. How do you like your bear? That's wrong. Anyone for ass? Jesus Christ, that was how you like your bear? I'm only doing cubs. David's motto was, quote, It's grit. It's the grit of a fellow that makes a man. All right, sure.

Yeah. On August, in August, 1813, Native Americans killed 500 settlers at Fort Mims, Alabama. Now, I don't think they just killed them. There's probably some stuff that led up to that, but we're just going to leave that out. As usual, we keep track of our losses. So Crockett, Crockett is furious. His quote, dander was up. Oh dear. And so he wants to join the military and fight, but his wife doesn't want to because they've got the two sons. Quote, if every man would wait till his wife got willing for him to go to war, there would be no fighting done until we would all

be killed on our own houses. What are you saying? So maybe your house- Behind a pile of bare meat. Maybe your house- I can't even see you. Maybe your house is in the wrong place. So what is she saying?

She's saying- She's saying she doesn't want it want to know that's what he said. Okay. Oh, okay. She said that was her point. No, sorry. She said don't go. And then he said, Look, if if I did, every man waited for his wife's approval, there'd

be no wars. And then every woman is like, kind of the pitch, a little bit of the pitch, kind of what we're talking about. That's the pitch. So he does. He goes to fight and he joined the militia when General Andrew Jackson called for men and he mostly served as a scout because he was a hunter in the area. He once was sent to scout and told to pick a man to accompany him to bring along. And the officer in charge did not like who he picked because he, quote, didn't have beard

enough. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Now that sounds like, like not. Yeah, that's like, now, don't tell me you're going to think that's some kind of hair profiling. Crockett was upset saying he didn't think, quote, courage ought to be measured by the beard for fear a goat would have preference over a man. So it was a rare misstep, a rare misstep for Davey.

It was literally about the beard. The guy literally didn't have a long beard. He'll die out there. He looks like a baby boy. So after he made that argument, they let him take away what he wanted. Look, he can grow a beard. It's not that it's that his intention was to not. It's a character flaw. He said he says it comes in after five weeks. It looks, he says it looks scraggly,

and then after five weeks, he's bearded. All right, all right, all right. That's when we- We'll wait five weeks for him to get a good beard. Okay, we sit outside. All right, then we strike. Then we go. I'm a little worried about our supplies

while the guy grows the beard. Well, we gotta wait for Jimmy to grow his beard in, so we're waiting. It'll be worth it. Davey's really sold on this guy. We're already down to just flour, basically. Well then we'll figure it out. We can also eat Tony, who's beardless. Sorry.

I'm nine. Tony's the worst. So like I said, he was furious about the Native American tech, but he doesn't seem to enjoy fighting them or the soldier life at all. Okay. He's just like, man, we're passing so many bears. Now on November 3rd. This episode's become dog heavy. It's really, there's a dog. What is happening? So he likes to rub his face all over couches.

Which one is that, Pablo? That's Larry. That's Larry still. Larry's crushing it. To be fair, he's tripping off of the Lego he ate 15 minutes ago. He is. Well, that was Maple that ate the Lego. I can't. So, on November 3rd, 1813, he took part in a massacre of Native Americans at Tulasachi.

Tula, I looked it up, but... Tulusahatchee. And he did not like it He was not into mass carrying. Yeah, I mean that's what and by the way you learn that quick Yeah, he was like a real earlier like Come on that guy didn't do nothing. Stop people is not great Christ Although you wish some people learn that today, but they don't know Although you wish some people would learn that today, but they don't know Quote we now shot them like dogs and then set the house on fire and burned it up with 46 warriors in it

That's that's got to be a hard locker room vibe after if you're not into it. Yeah guys like yeah, it's awesome We Dismantled that unarmed community. Yeah, I didn't actually Man, it feel alive. Why, it was kind of not great. Like we just. Wanna screw something. I feel good. I'm gonna keep the blood on me for a while.

Let it kinda cake on me. You're a kinda fellow I don't wanna be around. The thing to do is let the blood kinda cake on you and then you can chip it off over the next couple days. Or not do this at all. This is awesome. Have some beer. Here, have a bit of Beaver Piss. What about sharing the land? Yeah, with each other. I mean, yeah, you can take a piece. I'll take a piece.

Once we get them cleared out of here, we'll have a lot more land to share. That's kind of the idea. So you see, you're getting it. That's what I like about you. Fuck it, hey. It's like bleachers of human flesh. This is crazy. I've done a lot and I've never seen them stack so high. You're a terrible person to hang out with. I'll tell you what. Sometimes I think it's crazy that we're going to get all of it and that they were here before. So over 200 men went and and and Creek kids. Before that, sorry, then they started taking prison after they killed a couple hundred. And so the soldiers now don't really have food.

So they are going through the Indian dwellings to find food quote but just very quickly the hilarious no backup thought plan of the white man always quote it was somehow or other found that the house had a potato seller under it and an an immediate examination was made. You guys wanna buy some potatoes? For we were all as hungry as wolves, and hunger compelled us to eat them, though I had a little rather not, if I could have helped it,

for the oil of the Indians we had burned before had run down on them, and they looked like they'd been stewed with fat meat. Jesus Christ. Do you love how we sort of romanticize this time in American history? Oh, well, do we or I think to some extent we do and then it's 50-50. There's 50 that are like, yeah, Mack, men were men.

And then 50 are like, I don't really wanna talk about it. Yeah, that's true. I'd rather not talk about it. Well, I would say all of our- Native Americans were what I call an invasive species. I would say a lot of our school books do, like our education romanticizes it. Yes, but that is, they're never going to tell the story of Davy Crocking being at an Indian massacre and eating feeling

guilt and being and saying that it looked like they were cooked in oils. So when his 90 day enlistment is up, he goes home. He was not in Jackson's final victory over the creek at Horseshoe Bend in Alabama on March 28, 1814. But then he does reenlist the next September because he wants to fight the British. And that I like this that I get that I like. So he scattered the Florida swamps, but then he leaves again in March 1815. Soon after he gets home, Polly becomes ill right after she has her third child and she dies at 27. Shit.

Just like Janis Joplin. Yeah, same. That's what I've written here. Like Joplin. Yeah, same. That's what I've written here. Like Joplin. Like Joplin before her. Yeah. He was crushed. He was absolutely crushed, but soon starts looking for a new wife and mother for the

kids. All right. Not too bad. Elizabeth Patton's husband had been killed in the war and she had two kids and David admired her quote snug little farm Because I think what you also might call it based on what I've heard You are shots being fired tight tight little farm. Oh, I see is that that's not what he's talking about No, no.

No, no, no. She had a barn that was difficult to slip into it. He started, so he starts making visits to her. Quote, but I was sly about it as a fox when he is going to rob a hen roost. Excuse me, sir. Pardon? While she was asleep, I dipped it in her butt a little bit. What is, that's not what anyone wants courtship to be.

I think he's saying that he was trying to make it seem like he wasn't courting her. I don't know. Okay. I don't know, but it's weird. It's weird. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Um, so then he quote, bargain with her. I get the butthole three days a week. Dudes are no, I think, but I think this is a time when it was like you're out. I mean, this is a dangerous area, right? Sure. You're out in that area. And if you're gonna be away hunting, you do need someone to take care of the kids.

And she's lost a husband, so I literally think it was like a business arrangement, kind of, like, let's bring us together and do the... You're looking for a man. I need a woman to watch my stuff while I go kill. That's right. I like you. You can't do anything else else because you're a woman.

You're a woman. You're pretty much, you're kind of, you're walled off in here really. So they get married in May 1816 and then they move to Lawrence County, Tennessee. And their debut was picked to be a local magistrate in what was pretty much a lawless area Sure, but if anyone was charged with making his neighbors hogs Sorry, if anyone was charged with marking his neighbors hogs or stealing anything which happened pretty often I would have taken I would have taken him and if there was tolerable grounds for the charge I would have him him, and if there was tolerable grounds for the charge, I would have him well

whipped and cleared. So you could just go mark another man's hog and then be like, well, I think there's been a bit of a mix up and that's it. People are like, shit. At some point he put his initials on my hog's ass. Look at this one says Dave Anthony. There's no, not even initials. It's got my whole name on the hog.

But this is my area. How would you even get the Dave, why would a Dave, how did your Dave Anthony hog end up in here? The, he was, he journeyed, okay, so here's what happened. Me and- Where do you live? Me and the family. We was up in Minnesota and we was vacating.

That's quite a distance from here. And we left our pig. We did not know when we got in the carriage that we'd forgotten our trusty pig. Sure. And so we came home. And then- What's home? Here's home?

Yeah, sure. And then he followed us. It is a miracle of miracles. But how did he end up in my area of pigs, my pen? Well, he saw your pigs and your pigs look horrid. If you look closely, you can see there's still a bit of a Gareth marking on the pig. No, it says, Dareth, Dered, Dered. It's just so weird to me that your pig ended up in here.

Yes. No, these are these are the things that- You could see that strange. These are things that are in life. And dare I say with crime of hog ridings being through the roof. The world's a mud pile. Okay. And all the pigs- I'm assuming there's more or it better not be the end of what you're trying to say.

And all the pigs are mixing about, and they get mixed up. This is, you're really taking this in a sort of really kind of bizarre... Pray with me. Excuse me? Pray with me for the pigs. I'm just saying this pig, probably not yours. It just seems real weird look I get that it's weird that my name is on there in ink yes yes but that's how fresh ink like it's still running a

little bit that's how we do it now it's new it's new technology. Thank you. Yeah, no, I do deserve it. That's the law of the time. It's just enjoyed working with you. Your pigness. I'm not sure what that means, but there you go. Have your pig. Fucking asshole.

Oh, this is a nice pig. Oh, wait a minute, sir. So they just took a turn that nobody's comfortable with, sir. So Davey becomes interested in politics after being the magistrate and he becomes justice of the peace and then the town commissioner and then the colonel of the local militia, which I guess is a political thing. Sure. In 1821, he was elected to the state legislature.

In 1824, he gave a speech to the legislature comparing land speculators to sneaky raccoons. There we go. Which we've all done. Yeah. His constituents gave him a rifle as a gift, which he named Old Betsy. That must have been a strange moment too. Do you have to? This is Old Betsy. Which may either named after his wife or named after his sister. We don't know.

Both. Yeah, there it is. He lost his seat in 1825 and then briefly got into barrel manufacturing. Of course. He'd make the sides, the slats that you then tie together. Well the big, but the main part. And the plan was to make them and then take them downriver and sell them in New Orleans. I'm the guy who makes the copper wrappings. Oh hi. Hi.

OK. All right. Yeah, no, I don't know. There's probably not much here. So they put all the I'm the guy who makes the circular tops. You need me for this, too. Yeah, I mean, it's fine. Otherwise, your stuff's going to fall out. You need me for this too. No. Yeah. I mean, it's fine. Otherwise, your stuff's going to fall out.

Hi, I make the cork. Oh, you guys. I'm not going to get the fuck out of here before cork guy gets here. Cork guy's the worst. I worked real hard on a bunch of corks yesterday. Okay, bye, cork guy. I got corks. I got corks.

I got corks and corks. That's what I'm all about. I got aks, I got quirks and corks, that's what I'm all about. I got a cork, and if you want a sandwich, we'll have a little pork. I got corks and corks. Okay, thanks buddy. Ah, come on, don't be dorks. Thanks for stopping by. Hey, do you guys need someone to put something in that hole in the barrel?

No. Hole in the barrel, put it in a cork. Hole in the barrel, if you're in New York. Hole in the barrel, I got a cork. Come on. You're terrible at cork rhyming. You know how a baby gets to earth through the stork. Yay, cork, cork, cork.

Cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork, cork. You are the worst singer we've ever had on this podcast. What? I demand a recount. So I don't know what they're called, skates or something, but they take all the slats down river on a flat boat, but they're almost impossible to steer the flat boats,

so they run into this bunch of driftwood in the water and then the boat capsizes, and David is below deck, and so another ship that was nearby, or what I would call a ship, another boat, have to pull him out through a little window to save his life. He almost died. Wow. But lost all the, that was the end of the barrel business. This seems like such an easy thing to call, they float, but okay.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. But anyway, he's done with barreling. And then he decides to run for Congress, which is what natural transition. Yeah. But anyway, he's done with barreling. Sure. And then he decides to run for Congress, which is what natural transition. Sure. Gareth, being with big wireless providers, what you see is never what you get. Nope. Between the store and the first month's bill, the price you thought you were going to pay, I threw the roof. Yep. But with Mint Mobile, you're never

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Yeah. The palace. Oh, Gareth, we are also brought to you by Squarespace. I'm talking about the Dollop podcast. Dave, don't even. It is an all-in-one website platform for you to succeed and stand out online. It doesn't matter if you're just starting out managing

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Well. We of course have all of our websites with Squarespace. Every one of them. last episode. They said yes. That's absolutely not what we're talking about. We of course have all of our websites with Squarespace. Every one of them. Your website, my website. My website, our website, our sources website. If there's another, but didn't hear that, if there's another website we use, it will be through Squarespace.

Yeah. We're going to always Squarespace it. We're tethered together. Just get back to the focus points. No, I don't think they would sign off on that. There's a lot of stuff that you sort of say about them that I think they've flagged. I think they love it. Look, you can sell content on Squarespace right on your site. You have to pay wall to sell memberships or you can sell courses or you can sell files to your customer, downloads and PDFs and ebooks, anything you want. You can have a video collection, you can upload your video, you can organize your library,

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Elizabeth took her to the farm while he was hunting or campaigning. He's very honest and he has a very good sense of humor. People really like him. Very common. He has a lot of common sense. Sure. Perfect for backwoods politics type. He begged defenders squatters rights and that makes him very popular. His campaign events usually started with a barbecue and ended with a dance. Yeah. Perfect. That's perfect. At this time, candidates are expected to buy everyone drinks at their events. Awesome. Seriously.

Bring it back. Yeah, fine with it. It's so much better than the version now where the big donors do all the fucking spending. I mean, I really, I would be a single issue voter. I'd be like, she bought me two old fashions. I mean, that's pretty cool. Well, here's what happened though. Big donors would then pay for the booze at the events.

Listen, I'm not going to lie. I don't need all this backtracking. If I'm getting a night of old fashions, let's go. So a wealthy friend of his provided the funds, quote, I was able to buy a little of the creature to put my friends in a good humor. But Dave has to be involved in toasts from now on. Yeah. All right. I'm going to get another round of creatures.

Hopefully we're all in good favor by the end of this room. So the guy he's running against, he still outspends him. So Davey still has to put some of his own money in and now the candidates all travel together just to, I don't know why to like, because everyone would come out for him. You're really way off base with some stuff you're saying. They became very familiar with each other's speeches and their style and everything else. At one stop, Crockett had heard his opponent's speech so many times that he had it memorized, so he went up first and gave the other guy's speech word for word.

And the audience. That guy was like, what? Yeah. The audience what, knew it? Fucking loved it. Like they were just laughing their asses off. Have you ever done, I've gone on the road with comedians so much at times

where you're like, I'll do your joke tonight. Yeah, I've done that. Another time he- It was strange because there was a lot of Asian stuff when I did it. Yeah, well, you're racist. Another time he ran- Ah, ah, ah've done that. And another time he... It was strange because there was a lot of Asian stuff when I did it. Yeah. Well, you're racist. Another time he ran...

Go ahead. ...against a man who was known for his big smile and David was worried he'd be outgrinned and lose votes. This guy's got a grin. So he started telling voters that he'd been grinning raccoons out of trees. That he'd that Davy Crockett. This is one of those things that were like, what? To then people were like, that is the height of humor. Yeah, he's also got a grin and he could take a raccoon down with it. Did you hear that he's killing raccoons with his smile?

Surely that's a bit of hyperbole. No, no, no, I'm going to vote for him. Surely that's a bit of hyperbole, Diane. No! No, no, no. I'm stupid. Ha ha ha ha! Quote, I could bring one tumbling down from the highest tree. I never wasted powder and lid when I wanted one of the creatures.

Oh, ha ha ha! David. I love it. Voting amid. David. David. Stop. He somehow lost the race. David. He somehow lost the race, but then he runs again in 1827 and he wins. And

now he's a member of Congress. Okay. So he leaves his buckskin hunting shirt in Tennessee and he leaves the wife and kids and he hits DC and pretty quickly became known as the Cane Break Congressman, which is like, I couldn't really understand it, but it's like the common man's guy. Okay. He was also aligned with Andrew Jackson, who was soon to be president,

and they both represented the cracker vote. Whites. Whites. Whites, a specific kind of white. Their voters saw the West as endless opportunity and guys like Crockett and Jackson were the leaders of their God-ordained expansion of America to the Pacific. Well, I'll tell you what, I've been with them a little bit,

but now we're, there we go. Yeah. Now. So Crockett becomes their symbol. Well, I'll tell you what, I've been with him a little bit, but now we're, there we go. Now. Yeah. So Kroger becomes their symbol. Look at how good everything's going where we go. More. He exposed the class conflict happening between squatters and land speculators in the West,

and in 1830, he petitioned Congress to give land to a man because his wife had triplets. So he is- It is still so amazing that at no point do we talk about the people who were already here. Like he's- What? What are you talking about? It's like, I'm anti-speculators.

This land belongs to the regular people, as Native Americans are like, bro. Hi, are we not regular people? No, so here's the pitch. Regular people kill other people. Yeah. All of them. So the fancy- When you lived here, this whole thing was trees

So the fancy elites do not care for this Crockett bullshit He doesn't have not have the sophisticated refinement that they had Mm-hmm. And while the common man loves his speeches the elites just laughed at it Sounds about right. They saw him as an uneducated braggart who just spewed lies. This is what's happening to Trump. Yeah, it's exactly the same. One newspaper, although Trump is the opposite because Trump is not actually from the people. He's... No.

Turns out a rich guy. Trump. No. No, Trump's really rich. He's not like... He earned a golden toilet. What just happened? He earned a golden toilet. What just happened? He earned a golden toilet. How do you earn a golden toilet?

Through hard work and declaring bankruptcy a bunch. And then they give you a gold toilet? You earn it. Yeah. You have a whole place made of gold. Who gives you the gold toilet? I buy it from the gold man. There's a gold man? Yes, he probably doesn't want to be involved

in this conversation, but oh, there's a gold man. Okay, I feel like we're done. Does that make sense? Yeah, I don't want to talk about it anymore, that's for sure. I mean, one newspaper said Crockett's stories and sayings made him a dancing bear, quote, dressed up in a coat and breeches performing a vulgar sideshow. I mean, I like that now I'm in like, if you try to get me off.

If you took me to a vulgar bear show, how do we not have vulgar bear shows today? Shit. So we taught the bear to only say swears. He's the swear bear. He only says swears when you take his dick out at the end. A cock. Look at that. Alex De Tuckby met a cock in 1831 and was horrified. Quote,

he has no education, can read with difficulty has no property, no fixed address, but passes his life hunting, selling his game to live and dwelling continuously in the woods. So this is why he was relatable. That guy's like, what? Do you even know your zip code? Yeah, this is very city mouse country mouse. Didn't matter that they didn't like him, the people liked him.

So Davey becomes a celebrity. A paper called him, quote, an object of universal notoriety, and basically said everyone who came to DC should get a look at him. So he gets really elected. Can I help you? 1831. I'm just here to stare.

All right, well, here you go, hi. It's really like they are talking about like an animal in a zoo. Like you have to look, you have to see this thing. Go look at him. Watch him scat. So a play called Lion of the West debuts in New York. And the lead character was a blustering, but a level headed

KV Duckett named Nimrod Wildfire. Oh, my God. to Nimrod wildfire. Oh my god. I just got a big stack of bears and I don't know what to do with it. Everyone knew that it was based on Crockett, but they didn't say that. That's some real shit talking. He didn't like it. No shit. But then he started to like it because everyone started to love Nimrod Wildfire as an American hero. Nimrod Wildfire is awesome. Yeah, but people someone should name their kid that now. Yeah, it might be.

Nimrod was like an extreme version of David Crockett. Sure. Who then began to imitate Nimrod. Wait, what do you mean? Davey eventually was like, I like some of the Nimrod policies in this play. Nimrod becomes so popular. That Davey adopts.

It's an extreme crazy version of Crockett. So Crockett then starts adopting stuff. Becoming Nimrod. Yes. It's a public persona, right? Sure, yeah. Like he's a politician, and this is branding. No, it's a thing, it's a hook.

Yeah, it's a hook. So yeah, so Nimrod was the one who wore a coonskin cap. Oh shit. And so David starts wearing. Yeah, so Nimrod was the one who wore a coonskin cap. Oh shit. And so David starts wearing a coonskin cap. This is such a weird, I mean, not, you know, this is like, you know, social media does this in many ways, like influencer culture and all that, but it's very strange to be like,

Davey, are you wearing a Coonskin? Oh yeah, I just. Like Nimrod? Well, I was wearing it before the whole Nimrod. I mean, I don't remember who wore it first. I can't even remember that necessarily. It's really, I mean, I do wonder what it was like the first time you put it on.

Everyone's like, are you fucking serious? What are you doing? And remember, all the elites looked down on him, so they must have just been like, oh my God, look at this fucking idiot, he's actually putting it on. But then they were like, this marketing, I mean, truly, that has lasted, outlasted any of those people.

Anything, yeah. And also, I bet you anything, I bet you anything Nimrod was written for the elites to laugh at but then everyone loved it yes yes yeah that they were it's like when Obama roasted Trump at the correspondence dinner it is it was like in retrospect have a good laugh did you Yucked it up, have you? So the Kuhn'skin cap becomes his brand. Now there's no portraits or written descriptions of David Crockett wearing the Kuhn'skin cap

before 1835. Sure. The play also made him sort of an American. What if it was just a toupee? Davey's a little self-conscious about losing his hair. Or it was the actor's choice because he didn't want to be bald. The actor's like, well, Davey's got a nice head of hair, so I'll just wear this. So the play also turns him into being sort of an American Hercules

There's now tales going around of him swimming in the Mississippi steering an alligator up Niagara Falls Wow a streak of lightning so he's like becoming like this mythical crazy One story told of him climbing mountains to ring the tail of Haley's comet. It's just I don't think that that's actually no, you can't. There's not a tail of ring like it doesn't ring. There's no bell. Well, there's not a tail anymore. He might have ripped it off like a lizard. No, there's still a tail on Haley's comet.

There's just well, well, well, look who's coming back around on the whole tail thing. All of a sudden. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying it's not that kind of story is changing and mine'm just saying it seems like your story's changing and mine's been pretty much the same the whole time. It's not at all changing. I'm staying the same. It is a gaseous... A, B, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E,

E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, a bell. Haley's comment, bell, tail, Crockett. Okay, you're right. It's pretty obvious whose pig this is. But Crockett also was known to tell some tall tales about himself.

Well this is, but this is because it's like eventually he gets known because of the Nimrod stuff then the tales get big and then people are asking you and you're like, eh, may as well. Yeah, say I do that. I'm not kidding. I had a friend of mine who goes, he goes, didn't you hook up with Shannon Doherty? Like because she just passed away, you know? And I just go, yeah.

I was like, I don't believe it. Oh, that's great. So he once called himself, quote, the savagest critter you ever did see. He said he could run like a fox, swim like an eel, and yell like an Indian. I love the pride of the Indian. Like, I got to, you mean those people you're exterminating? That's right.

I got a real Indian yell. You should hear him yell when they're getting killed. Oh my God. Truly. He's like, boy, they really are screamers. When their land is burned around them. He also said he could wade the Mississippi with a steamboat on his back and quote,

whip his weight, this is the best, whip his weight in wild cats. First of all, I'm gonna say no fucking way. Walk me through what he said. So he's like, people like, should we adopt a metric system? What do you think? He's like, how about the wild cat? Hey, honey, how many wild cats to make this pie?

How many wild cats a flower? Well, I don't think any. Well, that's just not going to work for this new system of weights. Oh, God, it wouldn't be so American if we had done that and then just stuck with it till today? We're just like we do stuff in talons. I'm making a loaf of bread. How many talons of yeast? I can't believe it's a three taloner.

Crockett believed and said he could beat up any representative in the house. That's awesome. And he spoke what was called cracker. A dictionary credited him with creating the phrase ringtail roar to ascribe a violent man. People wrote books about him. That's not a brag. I've never heard that before.

It hasn't stuck around. Have you heard that before? Ringtail roar? Yeah, all the time. Yeah, it's a common... I'm going to start doing that just about expressions that don't exist. Well, I got a brick man hat foot. I came up with that.

Yeah, it makes no sense. So yeah, just just putting it out there that's you you may have come up with it, but it doesn't mean anything. So I'm the guy who came up with sewer dodging. That is also not something that what what is that? sewer dodging? Where you avoid sewage. I'm the guy who came up with that before I labeled it. People were either just doing it without talking about it or they didn't know you didn't want sewage on you. So I'm the guy who came up with Sewer Dodger. People didn't know they didn't want sewage on them?

They were okay with having sewage on them? Some were, yeah. Until I coined it. Also I'm the guy who coined coined. Before that, people didn't know what it was when you came up with an expression They just said you came up with it, but I'm the guy who came up with coining By yeah, I coined coining Did you know that no? Yeah, I was so that good. No, I said I don't care also Yeah, well, I mean that can you know,'s, I'm just telling you that before me, nobody

knew to coin what you were doing when you came up with something. I said, it's a lot like currency. And people said, not really. I said, coin that. Okay. I mean, this isn't really my wheelhouse. So I don't really want to discuss. You son of a bitch.

You absolute bastard. You absolute bastard. You son of an absolute bastard. So people wrote books about Crockett that he had not approved, which had crazy made up stories. The book sketches and eccentricities of Colonel David Crockett of West Tennessee became a best seller, which Crockett did not like. He did not enjoy this. He thought it distorted his own life story.

In 1837, so now he's trying to put out his own stories to counter the fake stories. So in 1837, the first drawing of Crockett in a fur cap was on the cover of Davy Crockett's Almanac 1837. Now this is interesting because he publishes this, but he hated being called Davy. If you can imagine a guy who hated being called the name, Davy, he hated being called when his name's David. If you can imagine something similar to that, that was what Davey was like. But he then, I think has taken on the branding of Nimrod Wildfire so much that now he's using the name that he hates.

I'm trying to get my lesson from this a little bit. It was better for him to accept that name. In many ways, I'll tell you from experience, in many ways you have no choice. The cap still had the raccoon head attached. Oh, that's a different vibe than what we've seen. That's a very different But he's hopefully was like just like total recall. Yeah, it's yes. It is very total recall He was one of the first people in America to make it hello

You got to get the fuck out of here He's on the first people in America to make a living from a celebrity. He's like early Kardashian. Sure. After two years, the play is put on in DC. And he went from hating it from the start to now having a front row box seat.

And the lead actor came out and bowed to Crockett. And then Crockett stood out and bowed to Crockett and then Crockett stood up and bowed back and the crowd went bug fuck bug fuck they lost their fucking minds I guarantee you everyone said they were there that night right talking about all this fall yeah right Crockett was now called the Lion of the West. Because he makes up a lot of shit. He was now crafting his image. He posed for artist John Gadsby Chapman.

But before he asked Chapman to portray him rallying dogs during a bear hunt. He bought. I know that it's just going to be you and I for the session, obviously. You bought. So, I know that it's just gonna be you and I for the session, obviously, just depending. Okay, great. I was thinking about you and a chair. If you could give me a favor and just kinda peck me up a little bit

and build my chest a little bit. I'm getting a little older. So just kinda build that up. Okay. Just kinda add a little muscle. Yeah. I mean, we can make you look more vibrant and. Okay, maybe a thousand dogs.

I'm sorry. Behind me. So I was thinking in a chair inside. Sure, I could be maybe I could be on a chair being carried by the hounds. I like that. That could be good. Like I'm their commander and I'm leader of the Hound Army. And I guess put me a little further back so that you can see the bears scared.

Why don't I put you on a dragon? Would that be good? Yes, that would be good. Flying across the sky in a dragon who's breathing fire. Not in a dragon, on a dragon. I don't wanna be in a dragon. And your knockers will be out. Like you'll be topless and your titties will be out.

Perfect. Yeah, that's great. So I like that idea. So let's say I'm on the dragon, breasts big and muscly. Double D's. Big boys. And then we got the thousand hounds behind me. You see the cowering army of the bears. And I've got the

hat with the raccoon. Maybe it's still living little guardians of the galaxy energy. And mostly we'll just see the knockers though. Yeah, he's pretty fixated on those. But then we'll have the dogs behind me, the army of dogs that I command my h hound boys. And yeah, so I'll maybe just sit here and then the rest will be kind of your stuff. Booby Crockett, king of the wild frontier. What's the wild frontier, you ask? Well, maybe it's an orgy. Well, just start painting. I'm getting started painting this right now.

Yeah, start painting and then maybe I could come back over there and check your work because it's not sure if we're on the same canvas. I think we are. I think I hear you. Yeah. When you said in a drag and I got a little worried. Dogs. I get it.

Wink. Okay. A lot of dogs. All right. Not sure. He bought an outdoor, he bought outdoorsy props and wanted to be shown holding up his cap ready to give quote a little shout that raised the whole neighborhood. So on top of all this.

This guy's like, bro, I'm a painter. So he's a brand, right? Like he's clearly a brand, but he's not a good politician. He serves three terms in the Congress. Can you imagine being a bad politician and only being a brand in our government today? Would that even be possible? He has no legislation passed the whole time he's there. He's too independent.

He's too honest. He can't bring himself to compromise on anything. And he then he ends up turning on President Jackson after a couple years Believing Jackson has stopped supporting the common man that Jackson is backed by wealthy planters and land speculators And Crockett's backed by squatters. So obviously they're not gonna see eye to eye, right? he's the politician of the landless poor had once spent a squatter himself and He pushed to end courts hiring out debtors to work off their fees. Okay.

Especially indentured servitude. Yeah, which he started at. And he split with Jackson at the end of his first term and Jackson is pushing for the famous Indian removal bill, which would use a half million to move Native Americans from east of the Mississippi to Oklahoma where there's nothing. It is just nice to hear a bill be called what it really is instead of what it would be called. Yeah, exactly. The Native American relocation opportunity.

Yep. So he's against that, which is surprising. We're going to make sure that these Native Americans have a chance to thrive in a new location and give them the opportunity to be in land that whites are not, that we're not comfortable with. Okay. why the whites are not that we're not comfortable with Okay, and this whole area here is gonna be a cracker barrel Now obviously that bill that's one of the darkest things in American history a lot of people died a lot of people died A lot of people died. A lot of people died. The bill was popular with Crockett's constituents, but he can't bring himself to support it because he believes it's immoral to his, he's, so

he's seeing beyond ethnicity. He's just seeing like, well, that's their land. Like he's, he's, he's such a squatter that he's like, no, you that's their land. Right. Yeah. But all of the white squatters are like, no, that's our land. They don't have a deed you idiot. But they don't know what that is. Yeah, they fucking fucked up, dude. So he thinks is immoral. He votes against it. That costs him with his constituents. So he goes against Jackson more in a second term and Jackson's allies respond by calling him unsavory and uneducated, if you can

imagine. Crockett responded that he, quote, would not wear a collar around my neck and the name of Andrew Jackson on the collar. Just so you won't be... But you have a raccoon with a head on your head. Just so you won't be stalked. The president and his crew then heavily back an opponent and Crockett loses the election in 1831. And he just goes back and keeps building up his image. He releases an autobiography

and then goes on a tour of big Eastern cities to sell the book, make some cash. It's so similar, it is still so similar to our government. It is. It's crazy. It's very similar. Yeah. It's just like, now you're like, well, I'll just go move a book. He's still obviously not with Jackson saying he would rather quote, belong to an N word and be a raccoon dog as the partisan of any man. Well, you try to make a hero and then they... It's just...

There's a couple problems with... Some questionable tweets His country hierarchy went Free white landowner then squatter then black man then dog and then party member. That's how we thought of Christ yeah, it's good. It's good. I'm dog. Dogs are that they're like, pretty good. Very good. Hey, the wigs now are super into Crockett. Yeah, because it was wearing one.

They represent the Eastern mercantile and industrial interests, but they think he can be an Andrew Jackson at the common man game. So they back him even though he doesn't stand for what they believe in just total. Like, can you imagine a party doing something that they don't believe in to, um, win, win anyway, not in either side. Uh, and all he's into this. He loves the flattery and the talk of him possibly being the Whig presidential candidate in the next election. And then the Whigs published two to boost his profile. They published two ghost written books under his name. One was about his East Coast tour. So just

off. All the things that's like to imagine doing a dollop about doing one of our tours. It's not great. The other book was an attack on Martin Van Vuren, who was Jackson's pick to follow him up.

The Wig Society of Philadelphia gave Crockett a gold and silver coated gun which he then named Fancy Betsy. Jesus Christ. I mean it's just branding on top of branding at this point. It's really good. It is just- Fancy Betsy. That same year he also published his Crockett Almanac.

He would publish 50 more Crockett Almanacs through 1856. David Crockett's Almanac of Wild West, sorry, David Crockett's Almanac of Wild Sports of the West was the name of the first one. Wow. And then Life in the Backwoods became incredibly popular. Life in the Backwoods. But with all this going on, the Whigs start to fall out of love with him. They can't control him or manipulate him,

and he's obviously not on the same belief system, so they start to pull back. And then he loses his next congressional election in 1835, and so he's now 49. He's barely getting by financially. He's irritated. He's bitter, and he wants to build his reputation back up. So there's too many, there's just a lot of stories about Texas. Settlers are not enjoying being under the Mexican government and there's tons of free land to be had. And one of Crockett's big rivals in Congress was Sam Houston, who had now gone to Texas and was doing very well as a land speculation

agent. So he's like, all right, I'm going to Texas. And he apparently said to send Tennessee quote, you may all go to hell and I will go to Texas. Okay, I just told that state where to go. No two ways about it. Goodbye, Tennessee. And the big chunk of land. So in November, 1835, Crockett and three friends leave Tennessee and head for Texas. Now, a man who saw them leaving. We're going to do stand up in Austin? I saw them leaving. Said Crockett, quote, wore that same veritable coonskin cap and hunting shirt bearing upon

his shoulder his ever faithful rifle. That smell coming out of that fucking hat. It's got to be so bad. Oh, Christ. Oh my God. Just awful. I'm sure he was wearing the same one over and over and over again. Even if he had two, it's still not good.

Just the must. He believed he was going to go to Texas and settle and his family was going to follow him. They cross into Texas near Clarksville and Crockett is already out of money, so he trades his engraved watch to a farmer for a cheaper watch and some cash. Now they reach a necrodotious Texas and when they get there, the news makes it sound like war is imminent with the Mexicans. And Crockett was happy because that means a new government will be formed and him being a big name, there'd be a pretty big chance

to be a part of it, right? Wait, he's like, if the Mexicans come here and get this, then- No, the other way around. If the Texans get freedom and- Oh, right, right, right. Yes, right, right. Now, the Mexicans had just surrendered San Antonio

to the Texans and went south. So he's like, this is the perfect time to be a politician here. So he swears oath of allegiance to the government or the future government. Sure. And neck adages held a banquet in his honor and he makes a speech.

He's a very good speaker at this point. Quote, I was for some time a member of Congress. In my last canvas, I told the people of my district that if they saw fit to reelect me, I would serve them faithfully as I had done. But if not, they might go to hell. And I would go to Texas. I was beaten gentlemen and here I am. And the crowd loved it. That's just like an Elon Musk speech. It's a really bad speech. Then I would go to Texas. I was beaten, gentlemen, and here I am. And the crowd loved it. They're like, yay. That's just like an Elon Musk speech. It's a really bad speech. Yeah.

It's going to tell him that I would, you know, they should just go to hell, otherwise I'm going to come here to Texas. Yeah, but that's what, they're coming here though. So the next month he joins the Texas army and he heads for the Rio Grande with some volunteers. Now he apparently doesn't think there's going to be any fighting and he writes to his daughter saying he was sure he'd be elected to the group who would write a constitution for Texas. P.S. they're eating dogs.

That's quite gross. There was a guy who ate a cat inside the Rio Grande. Okay? Love, David. Quote, I am rejoiced at my fate. I had rather be in my present situation than to be elected to a seat in Congress for life. I am in hopes of making a fortune yet for myself and family, bad as my prospect has been.

PPS, someone ate a dog. So he says, don't worry. Yes, also very kind of myopic view of what is going on. He's very. Yeah, well, it's very yeah It's a little sad honestly to just be like it's the comeback Yeah, he's like, yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna make my comeback by by just being a colonist and taking over and getting rich good news I have no morals

On February 3rd 1836 he and the Tennessee mounted of volunteers arrived I have no morals. On February 3rd, 1836, he and the Tennessee mounted volunteers arrived at San Antonio. There's 150 men there at the fort and they demand a speech and he gave the usual common man stuff and this makes him an instant leader at the San Antonio garrison. There's a couple other leaders like knife fighter Colonel Jim Bowie of the Bowie. This is my style of knife. Out of me stabbing. It's got these also little stabbier parts near the handle too. So there was also young Lieutenant Colonel William Barrett Travis. Now they're not really concerned. They think that Santa Ana's army is a month or two away.

Depending on the winds. So a week later they throw a big party in honor of David Crockett. But that night they're told the Mexican army had crossed the Rio Grande, which is 150 miles away, but they don't believe it. There's no way St. Anna could be that close obviously. Awesome. It's just so great to be like, well, let's pop the champagne, then we'll play the game. How does that sound to everybody? So they keep partying. They keep dancing. They ignore the orders of a new commander

of the Texas army, Sam Houston, who told them to blow up the fortifications and abandon San Antonio. He's like, get the fuck out of there. But remember Crockett and Sam Houston were big rivals in Congress. So that may have factored into the let's not go thing. Like fuck, fuck Houston. Yeah, right, Houston. Nice try. Yeah, fuck you. You can't, you can into the let's not go thing. Yeah, right. Nice try. Yeah, fuck you. You can't you can't fuck up my party, Houston. Nice try. So then they're taken by surprise when the Mexican advance guard arrives on February

23rd. You can't do this to us. We were here first. That's crazy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Imagine doing this to a group of people here before you. So the Texans take a sanctuary in the crumbling Alamo as a Mexican band played. The Mexican army raised a red flag, which meant there would be no surrendering. There would, they would not allow the Texans to surrender. They're like, we're going to kill you. This is our flag of death. Yeah. Tonight's set list is going to be a little difficult to cater towards the event

that they did the red flag. So Travis told Crockett to take him and 12 men and defend this position. So they're put at a log palisade between the Alamo church and the South wall, it's the weakest point. It sounds like a terrible plan. It's the weakest point in the defense as well. They put, Crockett does not have a lot of soldier experience. He's actually not a good soldier.

No, he's just got a stump speech and a coonskin cap. Well, he's a legend. Yeah. So they put him there because they he's the best fighter, but he's not the best fighter. Yeah, but he's like, no, he's killed. He's killed like 900 bears. I beefed those numbers up. So this is the same reason he probably didn't bail in San Antonio when he could have because his reputation would have taken a hit. You know, Oh, he ran out of San Antonio, um, ran Antonio and remember he's thinking of politics in Texas. So if he stays, yeah. So it's a whole thing. Yeah. So as the days pass, the Mexican army just keeps getting bigger

and bigger. There's just more Mexican dudes coming and these guys have a lot of songs and the army is now 5000 quite a catalog. So what's the plan Davey? The Texans appealed for help and 32 member came from 32 men came from Gonzalez to the Alamo March 1st. Now I don't know how that happened. Like I guess the Mexicans just let them right in. Like I don't get it. But some dudes got in.

32 more. So you're going to be fine. 200 against 5,000. Thank God you're here. We were getting pretty nervous that this was going to be a lopsided loss. All right. Now, can you split into twos? No.

Physically, are you able to sort of clone? No. No. Do you have around 6,000 good buddies that can be here quick? No, this is all my friends. All right. Well, I'll tell you what. Crazier things haven't happened. Now the guys out there, they're just the crowd to watch, right? They're not who we're fighting. The giant crowd of men.

We're, we're favoring the idea that they'll be coming here with the intent of taking what we have. Why did you ask me to come with? Well, why did you only bring 31 dudes? You just said bring some guys. Yeah, some guys, like a ton of guys. You should have said bring all the guys. Well, then bring all the guys.

Get all the guys over here. No, it's too late. Well, listen. You guys know who Nimrod Wildfire is? Oh yeah, I love Nimrod. He's so funny. Based on me. Yeah.

What? That's based on me. Oh, that's why you have that dumb hat on. I think we got a shot. Nah, it's not a dumb hat. It's a cool hat. You know, at the time, came and went, and now people are just going to think it's stupid. No, it's still cool.

It's not. It is. Okay. Yeah. It smells terrible. The hat has an odor. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. That means you have an odor. No, the hat does from me. You always have the hat on. I always have that on you stink. I won't take the hat off. You let's see who's laughing when the Mexican

Army goes away from me because they just think I'm a pretty big raccoon. Okay. Well, let's see how that plays out. Let's see how that plays out. Right. Let's just go ahead and see. Oh, quiet.

I love this one. These guys really jam the shit out of this one. So they're now running out of powder and bullets and rations. Sounds like it's hopeful. And then it becomes cold. Then it becomes cold. Then it gets cold and morale, if you can believe this, morale drops.

Weird. So Crockett tries to cheer the man up by playing his fiddle. Dude, we're about to die. Hold on. You guys ever hear the devil comes down to Georgia? Jesus is just all right with me Jesus is just all right. Oh, yeah, you guys ever heard that one. How about this one?

Hey, let me let me walk you through a little something Banner Banner Banner Banner Feel like making love What? Mmm, come on. I feel like making love. Yes, not so bad. We got them guys. It's not good. Come on Nick Deep. Feel like making love to you.

That's weird. I can believe that you're the first band that Led Zeppelin signed on their label. Woo. Yeah. Stop it. Okay. Davey, Davey, stop it. I'm going to shoot you.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop. Whoo! Yeah! Stop it. Okay. Davey, Davey, stop it. So quote, he can't cheer anybody up. He's trying. Quote, I think we had better march out and die in the open air. I don't like to be hemmed up. So he's ready to go.

That speech turned. All right, let's go die. And then the Mexican Army attacks. It's freezing when they attack. It's in the morning on March 6th, 1836. Santa Ana sends 1,500 men, and 100 attack the wooden stockade where Crockett and his men are. They beat them back a couple of times, but then the dudes just get in.

The Mexican army just gets in. The Texans had about 180 men, so the fight was over pretty quick. 180 against 1,500 is a big difference. If you don't know what numbers are, that's not great. So they didn't all die in the fight. Some men were found hiding under mattresses in the barracks. So that's me, if you're wondering. Well, this is probably before they checked under mattresses,

too. Yes. The general in charge halted the advance on a small group of men who were holding out and offered them clemency and got them to surrender. So he took those seven men into the courtyard and Crockett is in one of those two groups. He's either under the mattresses

or he's one of the guys captured. And the guys who surrendered, sorry, everything we know about Crockett, he probably was not under the mattresses, just it doesn't seem like something he'd do. Probably one of the guys taken prisoner, but he's one of the men in the courtyard as several witnesses reported. A Lieutenantel to Santa Ana said Crockett tried to tell the general that he was a tourist who sought refuge in Alamo when the Mexican army started coming. So that sounds more like him, right?

A politician trying to talk his way out of something. I am not from here either. I come here just to take, to study the land. I'm very much like you guys. What's the accent? I am not from anywhere near any Americans even. Okay, but what country are you from? Far land, far away. I ride the big back out and alligator

To get here in the big more ocean body of water. Oh shit. You're David Crockett. No Who did I mean not know but what is that? Is that the type of what is it even look at your hat? No, I finally see the gift shop to take back to my nephew, Bohania. What fucking country are you from? Oh, you know where Europe locates? No. Okay, well, I'm near where that becomes the land of the people and they go to the volcano in parts of it. Okay?

I'm going to... So I just say no no hold on please please please we should not kill me I am not even what by the way these guys I know like of these guys I'm I'm but I just saying these guys. I don't like these. I don't want to kill you. Hey, hey, I got an idea. We're going to kill these. Just because you're annoying. Let's kill these guys over here.

And I won't even hear from them because I come from a country in a bit of a volcano with Europas. You never want to kill anyone. I am David Crockett. So the general then pleads with Santa Anna to give these prisoners mercy. The lieutenant colonel wrote that they quote, died without complaining and without humiliating themselves. Oh, sorry.

Did I read this? Oh, I didn't read this part. Santa Anna doesn't care. And then he has a group of soldiers take them in and torture them before killing them. And Lieutenant Colonel wrote that they, quote, died without complaining, without humiliating themselves before their torture. But a slave named Joe said he saw Crockett's body lying in a pile of Mexican soldiers,

and a woman named Susanna Digginson said said the same thing and her husband died the night of the fight. And the San Antonio mayor said a similar thing, but a lot of papers at the time reported he was captured and then executed because of the lieutenant's diary. Some historians say the diary is a forgery because it was found later. Others say it's real and recent forensics say that the diary is real. So that's why I- What are we suggesting with that though?

Well, people are saying that he was killed during the fight, the- Oh, oh, oh. The Sunless field, but the diary says he wasn't. Right, right. Gotcha. And so that's how Colonel David Crockett of Tennessee died. The embodiment of American democracy and he dies at the hands of a despot, so his legend just grew. And in the 1950s, Disney aired

a Davy Crockett TV show, which led to a coonskin hat craze. And at the peak of the show, 5,000 coonskin caps were sold every single day in America. Oh my God. It's just so that's like shark fin soup. It's like they're not real. I don't think they're real. Okay. I don't think so.

Otherwise the raccoons like, what's up? It's like, what are we doing? No. Yeah. Oh yeah. So that's the song. Davey Davey Anthony, his dad died in a fire chair. That's where that comes from. I don't think that's the song, Davey, Davey, Anthony, his dad died in a fire chair. That's where that comes from?

I don't think that's... I don't think that's... No. Sometimes, when you go into the Reddit, do you put on a coonskin cap and get ready to go hunt bears? No. Okay. I mean, that's a good question, but nope.

That's a good question. That's crazy. I mean, you know, it is actually with very little knowledge on the subject, shocker, it isn't too far off kind of what you sort of assume a little, but it is also it takes in that, you know, the air of the time of the legendary non facts growing and he's He's not thought of as a person. What is he? You know not at all. That's the part that I really I mean he just seemed like he was like a frontiersman in my yeah I know like

But the but he really wasn't much Now he was just like a policy. He was just like a populist presidential, sorry, a congressman, congressional guy who was a brand. He was just famous for the sake of being famous kind of didn't really do anything. We do much. Maybe killed a lot of bears outside of that was just kind of a guy living. A man's man, right? A man's man.

Yeah, just kind of living on the blue collar nature of... What every American imagines himself to be, but he is actually not anything close to. But also as someone who did seemingly seem to have an issue with trying to sell out constituents to some extent for a while, but then... Well, he actually sold them out for a good reason. The reason he ended up losing was because he didn't vote for the Indian removal bill. Yeah, right. Yeah, but he couldn't get anything done.

The legend... I mean, he really basically Disney made a show about a character and then we're like, whoa. And at the time though, he was kind of like William Wallace-y and like... I bet if he had not died at the Alamo, no one would think anything about him. I bet he would have just been like, oh yeah, that guy. But since he died at the Alamo, it was like, he died for America. Yeah, right. Like, you know, a whole thing you could build around him. Yeah.

Interesting. Sources, White Trash, The 400 Year Untold History of Class in America by Nancy Eisenberg, Davy Crockett, homespun wisdom by Jessica James on past lane travels, and Texas Monthly being Texan, Davy Crockett, still King of the Wild Frontier by Paul Andrew Hutton, and then an article on mental floss. Paul, Andrew Hutton, and then an article on mental floss. Yep. It's a wild little man right there.

Wild little fella. And we appreciate him, don't we? Garret. Is it Garret? No, not really. So I travel a lot. I mean a lot, perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right? So I'm out there, I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes, if I bring the big boy, and I want all the comforts of home. That's why I stay

at an Airbnb whenever possible. Recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado, and I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff, and before we got to the gigs we were like, let's just get an Airbnb, and it is just a more comforting existence. You have a kitchen, you have a yard, you know, it's communal living. It's just a less stressful place, more enjoyable experience. So when I go on tour, you know, like I'll be going on tour in a couple months. I always am like, well, could my place be an Airbnb? You know, just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money.

And the answer to that is yes. yes, it can be an Airbnb. It's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away. So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world. Turn your home into an Airbnb. Give it a shot. You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be.

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