The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 653 - Samuel Colt

Episode Date: October 2, 2024

Comedians Gareth Reynolds and Dave Anthony examine gun inventor Samuel Colt   Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources

So I travel a lot. I mean a lot perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right? So I'm out there. I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy and I want all the comforts of home That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado And I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff and before we got to the gigs We were like, let's just get an Airbnb and it is just a more comforting existence you have a kitchen you have a yard you know it's communal living it's just a less stressful place more enjoyable experience so when I go on tour you know like I'll be going on tour

in a couple months I always am like well could my place be an Airbnb you know just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money. And the answer to that is yes, yes, it can be an Airbnb. It's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away. So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world. Turn your home into an Airbnb.

Give it a shot. You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. Let's switch. You're listening to the dollop on the all things comedy. Listen, you know what this show is. Each week we go through a random story from history in which I, Dave Anthony, mushroom eater tax evader, please government investigate me guy reads a story from American history to the new president of the screen actors guild. I'm a fucking idiot.

Garret Reynolds, dumbest guy ever. Who knows? Boy, am I a stupid fucking idiot. Gareth Reynolds, dumbest guy ever. Who knows? Boy, am I a stupid, stupid. Who has been proven right that Benjamin Franklin was a president. If you put a bunch of rocks into a box and then put that box out into a field, that would be my brain. I'm going to do one bump. Let me just do one bump.

Well, I don't know how I feel about that. I got to be honest. I think it's just cool to keep people interested in the show because I was going through the Q5 numbers. A lot of people are saying there's problems. Let me ask you a question. Yeah. Yeah. What's Q5? So the Q5 papers, the papers of the whole thing. Yeah. But what does Q5 stand for? Quarter five.

So there's five quarters. There's six. There's six quarters. There's six. There's six quarters. Because right now we're working on an 18-monther. Uh-huh. Yeah. Have you even set eyes on a lot of the printouts I've been sending? You should check into those. There's a whole bunch of stuff going on.

If you want to hear... What's your Kinko's... What's your Kinko's deal? You still going there? Do you have a little card with your money on it? Where are you at with your Kinko's deal? You still going there? Do you have a little card with your money on it? Where are you at with your Kinko's? I don't have a deal. Can you tell me your zip code?

I'll do a search on the Find Your Kinko's app. It's seven. Now, that feels disingenuous. If you want to hear even more of this kind of magic, you can subscribe to our Patreon and you'll get all this kind of inside fun stuff that we do. Oh, we're talking about a lot of stuff on there. Yeah. Well, we're almost at 10,000 people.

We're definitely going to hit that because we're about to do some really sweeps stuff. But I also just told Dave, not a lot of people know that we're feeding Luke a ton of snacks on there. Yeah. Weird stuff. And fans keep sending them, so we have no choice but to keep doing them. And I'm not kidding. When I get home, I mean, we have a lot, a lot of snacks for him to eat.

Okay, that's terrifying. An upsetting amount of snacks for him. Like, hey, Luke, clear your weekend from recovery. Like amount of snacks. Luke Grimwild Great. And then we also have Dolop Plus on Apple if you want to get some, we have extra content there. Jeff Sarr Yeah, we have two places for extra content. And one of them is the Patreon, which has a ton of shit.

And then the other is the Apple one where there's the second season of the Not completed but still Raring to be completed dollop UK series and also reverse small ups. Those are some things we have on there Gareth last reverse small up was It was okay. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, it was alright one before that was interesting a lot about Coco the gorilla Turns out Yeah, it was. Well, before that was interesting. A lot about Coco, the gorilla turns out. Well, not great. Yeah, a liar.

Well, she's a fucking liar. She's not a liar. She's a fucking liar. July, July, 19, 18, 41, 14. So close. Reverse. Samuel Colt was born in Hartford, Connecticut. I was just there two nights ago. Sorry. He was one of seven kids.

Good amount. 18 year bad year for the US. 18 year. 1814 bad year. Oh, bad year for the US. Sure. There are a lot of Native American fighting going on. There was the War of 1812 happening.

They just wouldn't give it up. DC got taken over and burned down. Oh, can we do that? Rich New Englanders were discussing seceding from the US, so it was a whole thing. And that's where Samuel Colt was born in New England. His father, Christopher, was head of a textile manufacturing company in Massachusetts. The family had been one of wealth for a while. His maternal grandfather is credited with manufacturing the first skythe in America. People have sort of stopped using skype because of zoom.

Sometimes I get myself with these cracks and these. Sometimes we start sometimes we start out with a flat tire. We just got to fix it and we'll keep going and keep going. You can drive in a flat. Five years after the end of the war in 1819 the economy crashed and Christopher goes bankrupt. So that same year, Samuel's mother, Sarah dies of tuberculosis. He's seven when his mom kicks it. Just before she died, she gave Samuel a military pistol her father had used during the Revolutionary War. That's a great parting gift.

It's a good gift for a kid. It's also said he got it as a gift because he had learned to read. Are we doing that in schools again? We should be doing guns for books real soon. We kind of are, I think. Or just a bullet sometimes. Yeah. But it doesn't work. I real soon. We kind of are I think or just a bullet sometimes. Yeah But it doesn't work The gun not the tactic. Okay Samuel tankard with it and got it working good. This obviously could be a myth this part of the story. This is very

Mythish not to me So his dad remarries in 1823 and to Sargent. So his childhood, not great. He didn't get along with Olive. So that wasn't great. Okay. Two of his sisters died when he was young. To be fair.

It's the industry standard. His 19-year-old sister died from TB. sisters died when he was young. To be fair, it's the industry standard. His 19 year old sister died from TB. She was the first one to go. And then a third sister committed suicide later on in his life. So the sisters not whatever was going on there was not. Well, I'm saying it was not. I'm going to say probably not a healthy environment in the home of everybody's. Well, what do you mean? mean? I just think it's.

Well one died of TB. You can't be. Yeah. That's. But got it from the mom. Yeah. So. The OG.

So she. Maybe that was her parting gift to her. She was like, Sammy, you get a gun. Grace, kiss mom. Let me. I'm gonna cough inside your mouth. I'm just saying. I don't know cough inside your mouth. I'm just saying.

I don't know why. Yeah, take it. Take it from mommy. This is why you're a bad mom. No. It's like Coraline. All of a sudden. Does the gun work, babe? Oh, God.

So all of would have three more kids with Christopher. Sam was close with his brothers and his dad. OK. But then because of the bankruptcy that had happened, life is just not the same as it was before. They're no longer like the social elite in the town. They're just regular pores. Sure. As a kid, he was super into taking mechanical things apart to inspect them. Same. Yeah, no, it's what I thought of when I read this is totally Gareth. Got guns. Guns had advanced, but they were still Flint lock, which is using a piece of Flint to fire.

Sure. And I would imagine if you're if your name's Colt, you're playing with guns. You know, it's getting it. Some this is the guy who invented the malt liquor. No, it's about the guy who established Indianapolis. Indianapolis. This is Peyton Manning. This is about Jim Ursay. Yep.

I don't know who that is, but yes. Imagine if cocaine owned a team. Oh, I yeah, I've seen that a lot. Actually, that was the Yankees in the 90s. Jim Ursay would carry like 200 grand in a briefcase and a limo is coked out of his face. And he was like, hey, we just signed a player. And they'd be like, Jim, you can't do that.

Ha ha ha ha. So, like I said, guns advanced a little bit after Samuel completely understood his grandfather's gun, he started taking them are his dad's guns. Just now strange to be strange, be a strange to be a tough have you be like, maybe back then you were like, awesome, make them better boy. They are. But there's also, you know, I don't know, there's gunpowder involved, you know, when right for going to go, but they probably had, you know, hopefully to the gunpowder out, but

sure, whatever. So it's just not something you want a seven year old doing, but also it worked out fine. So they're poor. So they have to put them into indentured servitude at a local farm when he's 11. That was such a regular option back then, huh? Yeah, it was. It should come back, right? I would love to get Finn out there. Already coming back. Unfortunately, he's probably a little too old at the boy. No, we can get him. We can get him. He's not 16 yet. He's spent. We need nine-year-olds. He's still got spirit. We need to break his will. It's still a quarter boy.

He's established. He knows what's right. No, we want eight year olds. OK, boy, now it's weird. I'm running a baby farm. Oh, are you? I'm hiring only babies to tell my soil and take down my crops. I would. I don't know now.

A baby farm sounds good. Are they working? Yeah, they're babies. Well, look, I'll be honest, a lot of the babies get distracted, but that's how you weed them out. You use the good babies, the hard working babies. Yeah. The fighters, the killers.

What do you do with the non-hunter working babies? They go into the gator pit. Not the weak, the weak babies go into the gator pit. I really hope you live in Florida. Now, of course, I am. My name is Jack Florida. I'm about to invent it. I was worried there's something else going on. But yeah. OK. What do you mean? No, nothing. What are you worried about? Maybe either you imported Gators or Gators meant something else going on. But yeah, okay. What do you mean? No, nothing. What are you worried about?

Maybe either you imported Gators or Gators meant something else. That's all. What would Gators mean something else? I don't know You're a weird guy with a little too much knowledge Yes, me. That's fair. Let me ask you this Benjamin Franklin president or not I am I getting hurt if I say the wrong answer. Just tell me ask you this, Benjamin Franklin, president or not? I am I getting hurt if I say the wrong answer? Just tell me what you think, stupid. No. See you later. OK, gotta go by.

Yeah, so he's he also got to school when he was that was part of the deal is that you have to send him to school while he's in. See, if you told me when I was that age that if I worked as an indentured servitude, I didn't have to go to school that I know, right? Yeah. But he avoided biblical studies and focused on science, which upset his teachers. Yeah, he became obsessed with free moving and locked wheels on how to make

gunpowder, which worried his family a bit. An 11 year old making gunpowder is a little how are you even doing that? I don't know how to make gunpowder, although I have seen there was an episode of Star Trek where he made I want this answer to stop. He he was really into a book by the guy who invented the commercial steamboat about submarine bombs. Okay, as we all are. So his destiny was for fighting. He was going to make bad things. Yes, yes, he was going to make. Yeah.

So the underwater bombs, that's what submarine bombs are. And Sam was fascinated by a picture of a masted ship being blown out of the water. So this is like the beginning of a serial killer story. Yeah, it really is. It's just like, yeah, it was like, he just loved chicken heads. He's just super into them. So soon after Christopher, though, he's, he, he's done with his indenture servitude for like a year. And then Christopher sends him to boarding school, because he's worried about this obsession he has, because he keeps going to the factory and working with stuff and trying to make shit that is, you know, gunpowder or whatever else. It's a little concerning. The factory

is a textile. So it's like they die stuff and they bleed stuff. And so now he sends them to the fancy elite, Almert Academy in Massachusetts. So a bunch of Richie Riches. And there he took a chemistry class and learned the joy of taking nitrous oxide. Oh my god. Which we've all learned that joy. This is great. How old is he? I think he's like, I want to say 14, 13 or 14 at this point. It's just I wish I could shame him, but I was just entering the beautiful world of nitrous around then myself. I worked at a cafe and I would clean the cafe. It was like a breakfast cafe and I'd go in and clean it at the end of the day.

I got the job from my friend who had gotten the job from his friend, who had gotten the job from his friend. There were like four of us who had had this job. And then one of them comes by one day and he goes, have you found the nitrous yet? And I go, what? And he goes, grab the whipped cream. And we just start blowing through all the whipped creams. And then the boss comes in the next day. She's like, Hey, what happened to all the whipped creams? I'm like, I don't know, man. Here's my impression of my mother every time she went to her fridge for whipped cream. Gosh, it's gone all milky again. Why do they keep doing that?

Literally every time. We also, we used to go buy nitrous. I don't remember what the number was, but we found out somehow that if you showed your driver's license, I think, you could get up to 32 little containers. But you couldn't go in there together because then that would count as 32. So you would literally go to the mall, you go into Williams Sonoma and you'd go up there and you'd be like, yes, I'm looking to get 32 nitrous oxide containers. And they would be like, oh my God. And they'd give them to you. Then your buddy come out and you'd have to wait like eight minutes.

And then you'd go in and be like, good day, Matt. I am having a Sunday social as I call it. I'm looking for, I don't know, shall we say 32 nitrous oxide? Just like Jesus Christ. Yeah, I mean, we we after a while, we just started going into the store and just doing it in the in the back. I have friends who went fucking nuts and you were like, dude, you can't.

There's not a lifestyle. Like I knew it was not good for you, but right. It was very obviously not good for you. Yeah, I had friends who were just like, hey, what can't. This is not a lifestyle. Like, I knew it was not good for you, but. Right. It was very obviously not good for you. Yeah. I had friends who were just like, hey, what about a rum and coke and maybe a balloon? This is what I'm doing from now on. Yeah. Yeah. And then you talk to him now and you're like, what are you been up to? And they're like, I'm a counselor.

That's a that's a guy who plays on Manchester United. It was like a local born like kid. And then he started doing nitrous and he's just not really playing soccer anymore. He's just doing nitrous. He's like 23 or four. I'm going to do this. I know. Great thing going, but this is better. His rules. So don't do nitrous is what we're saying. Yes, don't do nitrous unless you like partying. Yes, don't do nitrous. Unless you like partying, then give it a shot.

That's pretty great. So he's doing nitrous. He's taking chemistry classes. And he comes back home during the summer. And he's at the family factory. And he finds these new tools to work with. And he creates what was called a Galvik cell based on oxidation and reduction. And he said this would create an amazing underwater explosion.

So for July 4th, 1829, he hands out a bill advertising his event that he's going to put on, which is called Poseidon. Sam Colt will blow a raft sky high on where pond July 4th. Wow. So a pretty good crowd shows up because this is, you know, we're talking 1829, so there's not much to do. Like people would come out to watch a guy walk through the sack of flour. Like it's a big, big deal. So that guy had a tough turnout that year after this. A witness said, quote, an explosion was produced,

but the raft was by no means blown sky high. But the underwater explosion was considered very impressive by everybody who was there. I mean, it was like, yeah, I would find that impressive today. Like it's yeah. Yes. So a year later, he's at school and his stepmother writes him and says he should abandon all these trivial pursuits that a boy does and take a job on a merchant vessel. She's like, this is like when my dad came to the community

college I was at and was like, you should join the military. And and he came to eight a.m. to my house and I was at and was like, you should join the military and, and he came at to eight a.m. to my house and I was on mushrooms. What? What was happening with him then? Why he just showed up he literally I live in San Luis Obispo and he lived because he was like, he lived. I don't know. But it was the craziest conversation. He was like, you need discipline in your life you need and I was just like, you're like, you're like, I want to be

like, buddy, Date to Thanksgiving. I am fucking tripping right now, and I can't stop looking at the scrambled eggs. Yeah, that's tough. Chicken graveyard. I mean, you should have heard the laughter of my roommates when my dad knocked on the door. They're just like, no way. And he's like, you need to go to the military.

Yeah, it was really a bad guy in Bill and Ted. So she had already set up this job on the merchant vessel through connections, but he passed on it. He's like, I don't want to do that. And then two weeks later, Sam and a couple of his buddies from school snuck onto the property of a revolutionary general and stole a cannon that he had. Jesus Christ. And then they took it to College Hill and fired it.

And now faculty came running, and the Reverend John Fisk, who was a professor, told him not to fire it again, but Sam looked at him and said, quote, A gun for Professor Fisk and fired the cannon. Geez. This is at this time, this is unheard of. Right. I mean, it's just like, yeah, true delinquent. He's a loose cannon. Yeah. And we're back. So he either was expelled or left school at this point. I'm guessing expelled.

We don't know. But yeah, a month later, he was working as a cabin boy on that merchant ship, the Corvo. He was 16 and that lasted, I think, about a year his his dad may have wanted him on the ship You know as well as a stepmom at that point They were probably just like because he came home for a month and they're like, okay, you're getting the fuck out of yeah, right so Cole called city was super into the ship's wheel So there's two wheels on ship. There's this there's the steering part and then there's

a part we all see the feather with her. The under what we call the under wheel. The under wheel. There's also where you can turn to drop an anchor. So it was one of those two. Yes, there's that too. But that's just the tiny there's three wheels. What's the other one? There's the anchor dropping wheel. There's the under wheel, and then there's the captain steering. What is the under wheel do under wheel is in charge of a lot of the I mean, do you really feel like you want to take this pause? It feels like the story is momentum, but I don't mind. No, no, let's let's I just want to hear about this.

I don't know. Well, Dave, this ship, the inside of the ship is what we call the soul. Oh, the guts. Yeah. Near the poop deck is the hall near the inside of the ship is what we call the soul guts. Yeah. Near the poop deck is the hall near the hall is the ship guts. And the guts are where the wheel goes. The wheel bearings and the wheel ropes go to turn and crank other levers and pulleys. They're down there too.

And the heart of that is the under wheel. And the under wheel is where... Now were you talking all this time... Were you talking all this time to get to the under wheel because you were thinking of something for the under wheel to do? Do you want to know or do you want to be a jerk? Yeah, no, go ahead. Go ahead. It just seemed like you were delaying to try to come up with a thought. I'm in the middle of an answer and you're accusing me of delaying. Okay. No, no,. Go ahead. Okay. It just seemed like you were delaying to try to come up with a thought. I'm in the middle of an answer and you're accusing me of delaying. No, no, it's fine. All right.

Now I'm getting a phone call. I got to take this. Oh, we are doing that this evening. I can do a party of five, but they might have. You're working at a comedy club this evening. Yes, that's right. So we can make that happen and then we'll. Why don't hey, guys, why don't we put them at 12

and then just move the couple from 28 down to six? Wait, are you working at a restaurant? Yeah, I started hosting. I'm hosting at a book at a Beppo. You don't even like meat. Well, yeah, but you don't have to like meat. It's not a photo to chow. Did you think a book at a bit? Oh, sorry. I was thinking of the to like meet today. It's not a FOGO to chow. Did you think of a book at the bed?

Oh, sorry. I was thinking of the wrong thing. Yeah, no, no. But also I wouldn't have no problem hosting at a meat restaurant. Anyway, why don't we stop what we're doing? Yeah, let's just let's just leave the wheel. We're starting to get a little slanted here. Some of these sections, I got to cut Diane.

Yeah, I mean, it's fine. Sometimes you can't think so. I don't want them to go into double. Yeah. So this wheel situation caused him to come up with the idea of a revolver, he says. This guy really had a mind for the dark arts. And he carved a piece of scrap wood into a six barrebarreled cylinder, in fact, simile, with a locking pin and a hammer.

But there's also a guy named Collier who had invented the Flint revolver who had set up a shop in London and Colt's boat stopped in London. Also those revolvers were used in India where he also stopped. So again, I'm going to flag this as mythical bullshit. So you're saying about the wheel. I'm saying he's probably he saw revolvers. If a guy is so obsessed with guns and revolvers and everything, he's he's already obsessed with guns and explosions and all this shit. And he's in a place where they have this new revolver thing.

He's going to go fucking look at it. No. OK. So I don't believe the wheel story. That sounds like again, so you don't think that's gonna go fucking look at it. No, okay. So I don't believe the wheel story. That sounds like again, myth. You don't think that's for wheel? Once off the ship in Boston in 1831, he starts looking for funding for his idea. He's 17. Jesus, his timeline is going very slow.

It's really weird. So his father helps him with the first two prototypes. The first doesn't fire. The second explodes in the shooter's hand. He got someone else to shoot it. That's definitely what you should be doing, by the way. By the third, dad is seriously reeling in the funding. He's like, OK, so yeah, right.

So Sam needs money. And at this time, the US elite are super into nitrous oxide. What the fuck? There's that fucking term again. They're using it at parties. Oh, I love this. For the next three years, Sam Colt travels the East and Canada and South as a scientist, promoting himself as the celebrated

Dr. Colt of New York, London and Calcutta. Not a doctor. Not a doctor. Also Colt is now he's spelling it C-O-U-L-T probably to avoid connections for later. He called himself a practical scientist, sorry, chemist. The show was a nitrous scientific demonstration. He wore a frock coat and a top hat. He had a he grew a new mustache and a beard to make himself look older. The okay, in Albany, the laughing gas show said it included laughter, singing, dancing, and a, quote, propensity for muscular exertion, such as wrestling, boxing, et cetera. So he is hosting...

It's insane, obviously. He's hosting a show where he's getting people from the audience all gassed up and then doing these things like making them wrestle. Can you imagine wrestling on nitrous oxide? No, no. I mean, you're wrestling your brain on nitrous oxide. Yeah. In Albany.

He walks into that room and he's like, Dave needs to join the military. The show in Almaty is three nights, 25 cents admission. So if it's three nights, I mean, he's doing well. He's selling out the show. Funny bone. Yeah. He does this for over two years. By the end, he's charging 50 cents, which is a lot of fucking money back then. He gets 20,000 people high over these times and he gets high himself thousands of times because all these shows he's doing it himself.

He also included fireworks in the show, which he loved his fireworks. Yeah, it's good. Get the fireworks around that gas. There were also wax statues that quote, evoke the dreaded scenes of Dante's divine comedy, complete with demons and centaurs from the circles of hell. Very funny. So it's just a whole fucking crazy. It's like gas them up and then just like throw them near a demon.

Yeah, but this is very much like firework. I mean, you could see it today was like I'm doing the get high show and you go like that's what it seems like. Right. It's just very do it. Like when it's half like it's like, yeah, there are like there are like comedians where it's like you got to get drunk for your show because your fans expect you to be, you know, like, yes, like, yeah, there are guys that are the get get high, you know, you do show it at

420 and then you're 60 years old and can never stop. All right. Take a second. Let's pump the brakes there. and then you're 60 years old and can never stop smoking pot. All right, take a side for him. Let's pump the brakes there, guy. Small little pond we all live in. He's a nice guy, but I just... He's the great guy.

But when he started doing that, I was just like, man, you really lock yourself in. Yeah. You always got to get high. If you don't want to get high that day, it doesn't matter. You got to get high. But that is baked into him, part of the pun. It's not like he's like, oh, no. Oh, yeah. No, I know. Yeah. And I love him.

Dave, can I be on the show? Coffee, give me once. What? Give me two seconds. This is how we do fucking shit. They David Cross go to the bathroom. Oh, my God. Well, nobody gets that reference because we lost the recording. Yeah. So we did a show in New York and David was our guest. And right in the middle, he's like, I got to go to the bathroom.

And he just gets up on stage. But like happened to the show. And then he came back with balloons and saying happy birthday. That's, you know, classic David. OK, so he raises enough money. I didn't even I just now I'm ready. He raises enough money to make changes to his beloved gun. OK, now he starts consulting with different gunsmiths.

So over the over the time he's out on tour, he's also taking the money to try to get gunsmiths to me. So it's not like he waited till the end. Right. It's an ongoing process. No. Well, I definitely have always found it helpful to pitch people on nitrous for your big shark tank concept. That's right. It's a great it's a great that like the guy is like, so I'd like you to work on this gun. What's your what's your big shot? Oh, my God.

Oh, well, What's the idea? You know, you know he got the gunsmiths high on nitrous. There's no way he didn't. He's like, he's treating it like truth serum. He's like, God damn it. I mean, you just, it's laughing gas. You just laugh. Yeah. So he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he,

he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he it like truth serum. He's like, God damn it. I mean, you just laughing gas. You just laugh. Yeah. So he he's he's consulting with different guys. Some models are created finally in a pistol and rifle are created with a Hartford gun maker. And they're presented to the patent office. But they are rejected because back then your thing, whatever you invented, couldn't just be on paper. It had to work. It had to be a working thing. Right. So the guns are not in a, quote, finished state.

So they can't be patented. Then a guy in Alba, I would have done great. Oh, my God. I remember the guy who who patented podcasting by just drawing on a piece of paper, you know, head to computer. Just like crazy. So a guy a guy in Albany is making guns from the past times. Is it Albany or Albany? Albany.

OK, Albany, a guy in Albany. They made some cuts for him. Albany. OK, Albany, a guy in Albany. Some gods for him. None of them were up to up to it. Cole had paid now he's paid two gunsmiths, five hundred sixty five dollars altogether, which is a lot of money back then. He goes through 13 gunsmiths trying to get one who could make his idea. Then in 1834, he's doing a long show, a long run of nitrous shows at in Baltimore. Wow.

And he meets a gunsmith who has a bunch of apprentices. So this guy basically like takes on, you know, ideas and then just has all the apprentices do all the work and doesn't do anything. So one of them, John Pearson, has he started in watchmaking and then he switched to guns and he's tired of doing all the work as an apprentice. And the other guy makes all the money. So he talks to Sam and he's like, what if I open up a little side shop? And, you know, I'll just do work on the download for you.

So that's what they do. They open up a double secret shop and Cole has to go back on a tour to make money, but he would send Pearson money as he went along to try to keep the project going. So Pearson makes the first six shot pistol in 1835. It's basically a mishmash of other guys. Even though you said that that had already been invented. Well, that wasn't well, not recognized. I think that's not I think you still have to look I don't know

exactly how that one works. You might have to load it every time. But either way, it's not the same. But it's not a Flint. It's not a Flint one, right? That and the advantage is that this I mean, this basically, as we know, revolver means that you're going to get six shots. But because before that, they're really just it's basically reloading every fucking time. Yeah, which makes gunfights so fun. It's like 20 seconds, you know, if you're the first guy to come out with the cult, they

were probably like, wizard? And he's just balls off on nitrous. I'm sure gun guys right now are like that. No, I want to do that. No, no, I cannot express this enough. I don't care. I really don't explain to it's not the important part. Let me explain to everyone. I just don't care to this show something.

Look, once we're done with the episode, talk to each other about it. It was nothing. We love you. We love you. We appreciate it. We appreciate that you're here with us all that. But the end of stuff, probably one out of 900. Are we like, oh, cool. I got a lot of I got a lot of messages about saying Papa and Mama wrong on JD Massive. Well, people focus on the right part. And there's also, I'd like to say, there's something called regional accents. So we actually say Papa out here, but we don't say it the way you do.

And you have to come to grips with that, regional accents. You have to come to grips with it. Also, you know what? If you really want to know, we call it Papa. So hang in there. When a guy in Albany already did that. So Colt is busy touring while all the gun making is going on. And so he has to ignore Pearson for long periods of time. Sometimes he just can't get in contact with them. And his payments are erratic. So Pearson gets pissed and threatens to stop working unless he gets paid and Colt has to quickly send

him cash. But it's just a partial payment. And that pisses off Pearson even more. And then Pearson sends an angry letter demanding full payment. He's working 10 to 12 hour days in a workshop. He wants fucking full payment. And at that time, maybe the reason he's so pissed is because he has just finished his biggest breakthrough, which is a dog barking at a mailman. That's the break. Welcome to the dog lip. It's you know, if mailman just gave a good word, the thing is, excuse me, mail carriers. Well, ours is a mailman.

But if they're, but if they are, they're like taunting dogs when they come up every day and open something up on the house and the dog's like, you're never going to pay attention. It's a, it's an affront. Who's your beef with? I think the mailman is the problem. Why? Not the dogs. Because they don't acknowledge the dogs.

They don't. There's no. What do you want them to do? They could just be like, hey, doggy. Hey, doggy dog. And make a little relationship with the dog. You live in a cartoon? What are you talking about?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all live in a cartoon. Have you been in America? That would be the greatest instead of hologram or Matrix. It's like, dude, I mean, it's pretty like just at a bar. It's pretty obvious. We live in a cartoon.

I mean, 9-11 was an inside drawing. Takes off his head, turns it around. See? OK, so the guy's getting pissed basically. And then but he his latest breakthrough cult takes and gets a British patent for in 1835. Now the patent is granted not as a pure invention, but it is enhancement on a Flint locker revolver that already is in existence. So it's not invented.

It's just enhanced an older gun. Sure. So Colt goes to Europe to promote his new gun and fundraise which goes well on a like book tour for a gun. While in France, he's just like, you know, like, Kelly Ripper's show. Yeah, you just have a new That's right, Kelly. I mean, this revolver is really a lot of fun. That's basically what it is.

When does the revolver come out? Select cities? Friday, but then nationwide end of October. Oh, God. So there's some tensions he learns when he's in France between the US and Germany. And he's like, oh, because war means profit. And he always took note of that when there was a war break. He didn't seem to give two shits about the ideologies involved

between the warring factions. So when he gets back to Massachusetts, he has he has brought with him a 16 year old bride. He's only about 18 or 19 now, he has brought with him a 16-year-old bride. He's only about 18 or 19 now. He's not 19 or 20. She was said to be very beautiful, but of, quote, humble origins and could barely read or write. No one knows how they met. He apparently, quote, kept the marriage a secret from the rest of the family and the world at large. He apparently quote, kept the marriage a secret from the rest of the family and the world at large. OK, well, look, it's we've had far more inappropriate relationships on the show. Yes, yes, yes. You know, but that wasn't uncommon to get married at 16 back then.

So I know you did. But that was two thousand and twenty one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I was 16 again. He now needed $300 for a US patent application. So he borrows it from Henry Levitt Ellsworth, who was the first commissioner of the US Patent Office. I don't know what this guy's deal was, but he would just help people out who bought good patents. He's like, yeah, I'll give you money, I'll work here.

What do you want? He's just like a coke head. You know, patent. He's just hanging out. He's hanging outside the patent office. Hey man, you getting a patent? You guys inventors? What?

You guys inventors? You inventing anything? You guys got an idea for invention? So Colt is now given a monopoly over this revolver design, even though the revolving firing mechanism was not categorized as an invention. Interesting. Same as in Britain. Yeah.

Yeah, it is a big deal. It was considered a quote practical adaptation of a revolving Flint lock. But he had never claimed to invent the concept. So he's cool with it. But now he has the now he has it all. So I travel a lot. I mean, a lot, perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig. Right. So I'm out there.

I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy. And I want all the comforts of home. That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible. Recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado, and I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff. And before we got to the gigs, we were like, let's just get an Airbnb. And it is just a more comforting existence. You have a kitchen kitchen you have a yard

You know, it's communal living. It's just a less stressful place more enjoyable experience So when I go on tour, you know, like I'll be going on tour in a couple months I always am like well could my place be an Airbnb, you know just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money and The answer to that is yes. it can be an Airbnb it's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away so imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world turn your home into an Airbnb give it a shot you might be

surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. So within the year funding is required, mostly from relatives and production begins and Colt. He's not just going to make money from selling guns, but also from forcing the end of illegal gun purchases and demanding a large royalty for every illegal sale based on his design. So it's like the way Tesla was profitable because he was using tax breaks from other

companies to make money. Like you know, it's not just the business of making and selling. It's also how do you fuck with the market? So Cole used large amounts of funds promoting his revolver to really important people. He was like, I got to get these guns. Like, it's like food. It's like Fujiwara, right?

You're like, I got to get this in in JLo's hands. Whatever. Yeah, yeah. Bradley Cooper scene swinging a Colt 45 right at the Oscar Vanity Fair party. So this was a lot of expensive dinners, taking people out to woo them. He also bribed people to remain the unchallenged producer of the revolver. He manipulates public opinion any way he can. He would really, if someone tried to invent a gun like his, he would fiercely go after them.

Anything close to the patented gun, he would just take them to court. OK. There were times when he made more money selling, going after companies than selling the actual gun. So he did not care what his guns are used for. He's happy to sell them to both sides of war. He quote, did not see slavery as a moral issue. What do you see it as?

So I'm just going to throw this up as a red flag on the person. But that's also like to not see it as a moral. It's like. Do you see support it? It's like you have to be such a psychopath to be like, I don't know. I know I don't want to. I don't know. I know I don't want to. I don't want to say anything. I don't want to.

I'm not going to get in the middle of that sort of thing. Like, you know, I mean, I support people's right to choose. Some are pros, some are anti, you know, to him, he saw slavery as just a part in the pattern of how labor works. Sure. And he thought it would fade away over time because it was inefficient. Those are the people who are like, look, we're going to figure out a way to capture the carbon.

He thought debating slavery was pointless. Well, he might have had a point there because he actually just had to kill people to make it end. They're going to fight for it. So he pushes to make his new revolver the standard issue for all US soldiers. That's the goal. If you can get it for the if the military buys it, you're set for life. Right. He also wants to sell it to the other armies of the world.

He just wants everyone every military to have. Everyone should be able to shoot more people. Faster, we can shoot. The better we'll be. Yeah. The name of the company is the Patent Arms Manufacturing Company. It's in Patterson, New Jersey. Are you raising your hand because you have a question? Yeah. What's your question? Yeah, Gareth. Is there an old Jersey? No, is there an original? Yeah, there is.

And you're you're fucking part of the world. There's a Jersey there. Yeah, go ahead. Where is that place in England somewhere? Nobody cares where anything is in England. What is still there? OK, we're not talking anymore. OK. Most of the funds for this company come from his family. It has the first assembly line by in the U.S.

by 1836. It's cranking out three different guns. He's always refining the design. And he gets patents for each change he makes. But he gets the patents under his name, not the company's name. So he can, yeah, so no matter what, it's always his, it's him. So this, this includes interchangeable parts for guns. What? What's that mean? I'm trying to think of a comparison. So, you could take a, you can have a barrel and then take it off and put on a longer barrel.

Oh, okay, so that's cool. Or things of that nature. Or maybe a different, maybe, I don't know if the handle would come off, but like something, things like that. Right, you're able to sort of cross utilize a little bit. Yeah, that's fun. Uh, well it was fun but the um, that is fun. The investors are not into it because it means more factory machines and it just makes a more complicated product. By 1837, the company made a thousand guns, but that was a lot slower than they thought. Like they thought they'd be cranking them out faster. And so he gets the guns demonstrated

for President Andrew Jackson, who is not great, especially for a psychopath. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not impressed. Wow. And South Carolina or seventy five. But they're not made fast enough, so they end up canceling the order because they need to buy guns from somebody else. So the company's under financial distress. His cousin, who's the biggest investor, says that that Sam is trying to bribe Washington officials, quote, You use money as if it were drawn from an inexhaustible mine. And he

said, Colts bribery was dishonorable in every way. So his if you can believe this, yeah, is you can believe this now from a from a successful capitalist in our country. Apparently principles no morals and no honor. Come on. You can imagine. Yeah, no, it does. It is crazy to think there was a time where that again, like someone was like, come on.

But that's wrong. Yeah, that's wrong. Don't do that. That's a wrong thing to do. That's the stuff with like everything that goes on the way that there's never no politician is ever like, you're right. I'm fucking terrible. Like Eric Adams right now is just like, I know they're coming after me. They're attacking me. I'm the victim.

I'm a black guy. What are you going to do? Why can't you just be like, dude, I'm yeah, I got caught. I love that press comments were the guy where the press conference was phenomenal. It the bunch of black people behind him trying to make it that issue. And then some dude just like screaming at him, you don't represent us. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, I thought the whole is amazing where he's like still.

He's got to smile for like two minutes. All this guy just relax the shit out of it Power bike So Sam gets the guns into an army trial at West Point in 1837 a rifle discharged several loads at once which caused an explosion several loads at once, which caused an explosion. Another had the hammer break off. And so the army's like, these are too complicated to have our guys using out, you know, in a war.

Next, he gets his guns into a public exhibition at the American Institute in New York, and he wins the gold at the whatever it is. And then he uses that in ads like the gold at the whatever it is. And then he uses that in ads, like the gold winning gun. Gold winning gun. Gold medal winning. But still the guns are, in today's money they're $3,500. So they're crazy expensive. Yeah, right.

And he's burning through investor money. Sam personally now takes a load of guns down to the army in Florida who are fighting the Seminoles. Why would they fight? Why would they fight a Florida state? Why would they fight a university? I never understood that. Dave, you are A, cute and B, cute. But they already like the Semin is the what the Seminoles have as far as like firepower goes nothing I don't know what they have but they they maybe have some guns well number one they you I don't know what

their fire powers but they use the land like like yes I'm using it's amazing for the white people like we need bigger guns against the guys who don't have guns but Samuel Colt would sell the guns to the Seminoles also. He wouldn't give a shit. They probably had guns at that point. I mean, the Seminoles held out for a long fucking time. Oh, man. So sales were OK to the soldiers.

He sold about half of what he brought. He brought 100, sold about 50. So he had me after shows with Jose pins. He's doing that with. So he heads back. He's got, you know, the guns, the ship cap capsize on the way back. He loses the guns. Also, watching a man dive as far as he can into the ocean for his is the most American shit ever.

Also, he loses the draft that the army gave him. So no, the check. Oh shit. He loses the check. So I guess you can't get it back. Yeah, because you can't reissue it. So he's just like it was a a total just a disaster of a trip. He called it, quote, a cursed adventure.

They want some people want the guns in Texas, but it's just too expensive to send them there like the whole it's not it's not profitable. There's also problems with the design, like no notches between the chambers would. So that she could fire two at once. One more than one chamber would go off at once. Right. And that makes it carrying loaded unsafe. Sure. Basically, it's just considered too fragile and complicated.

Sure. So Sam now opens up a shop in New York to sell his guns. Yeah. Get a brick and mortar. Yep. And a lot of people know about the guns now because he's been doing so much PR. sell his guns. Yeah, get a brick and mortar. Yep. And a lot of people know about the guns now because he's been doing so much PR, right? It's the gold medal winner. But the board shuts down the factory. They're just hemorrhaging money.

And even though he owns all the patents, they boot him as CEO and make him a sales agent, which is essentially what he's doing now anyway, but you know, he's... That's not great. Sam still thought he could salvage the business, and then word comes from Florida. Never good. The soldiers liked the gun. Okay.

But they kept giving into curiosity and taking it apart and putting it back together. What the fuck? So then, even though it doesn't work well, it really doesn't work well because they're not doing it precisely as like they do at the factory. An officer wrote that there were a myriad of problems, exploding cylinders or bursting barrels and Sam said those issues had been fixed, but it's too late for them, right? Right. We fixed those. Well, we were trying to use them.

Sam is now 27. Okay. Now, there's this skirmish on the Canadian border. I had never heard of this, but some Canadians wanted to overthrow British rule. There's a little bit of fighting. There's a boat that is sunk on the river. In that little skirmish an American is killed. And then three years later, there's a- I think I know why you haven't heard of it.

Three years later, there's a drunk Canadian in a tavern in New York, and he gets really hammered and starts saying, I killed that American on the boat I sent this ship So the New Yorkers arrested what did I do last night? Well, I did I close out my tab did I leave the card my card there I don't know where my wallet is You were yelling Yes, but you were yelling that you killed Frank just and that you sunk his boat.

So Jesus, those are crimes. Actually, I don't know what it's like in Canada, your little goose land, but they're crimes here. I I didn't. No. No. No. I we thought you guys were like really cute and you're just like, I cannot do dark liquors.

Yeah, no, it's just I know. I thought it was going to be better when you when you switched to Mulsons, but no, no, I I just well, boy, that's embarrassing. That's embarrassing. Yeah. So you're under arrest. Well. OK, well. Smoke bomb.

Nope. Left those at the bar. So this this thing becomes a really tense international crisis between the US and Britain. Okay. And Sam immediately senses ooh profit. We're on the verge of a war. He's a good guy. And he thinks of his electrical detonated submarine mine idea. We're back. Oh, man. The comeback is his mind business.

Yeah. So he starts writing letters to rep people in the government, right? President centers, blah, blah, blah. And he says he has a system that can prevent attacks that can protect America's harbors. So it's it's he has he has basically rigged electrical lines to the bombs, right? More spawning. So everyone's like, well, this is an interesting idea.

And he gets invited to meet with President Taylor and some other guys. Taylor, I'll be totally honest with you. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah. And so Tyler, sorry, Tyler, Tyler. Yeah, that was a miss bill. And then the Navy secretary loves it. He's like, fucking, this is great.

We can we can keep ourselves safe and our ship wants to get our ships won't get hurt. And a bit later, Sam finds out that there's a naval bill being passed and it's going to have money for his harbor defense system. So Sam immediately starts selling shares to investors like it is, this is it. He's going to make a fortune. But then there's some political upheaval and the Naval Secretary and pretty much the whole cabinet of the president resign over his his fiscal policies. And then the new Naval Secretary over Tyler's fiscal policies.

Yeah. And it's such a time to just be I mean, I guess that still sort of happens. Or like, I'm so disgusted. I'm out of here. Barely, barely. Um, so the new naval secretary has never heard of Sam's underwater mine defense system. So he's got a really. So he's yeah, he's kind of back to square one now. Sam's older brother, John, is a bookkeeper in New York,

and he's also a penmanship teacher like you. Yes, very important to learn how to do that properly. Write it. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, yeah. Writing. That was his slogan. Write it.

Write it. Spelled both ways. I do text penmanship. I know you do. I do a lot of that. Which I love. For the kids. Yep. He'd also been a fur trader. He'd been a law clerk. He was a U.S. Marine and now he's a bookkeeper. He'd written a textbook on bookkeeping, which had so boring. Now. A printer named Samuel Adams was printing John's book when he disappeared. OK. And then his body is found bound in ropes and mutilated in a crate on a ship

header for New Orleans. Vampires. Now, they. Yes. How did you know? New Orleans. Yeah, yeah, you're right. It's very. Yeah. You don't need to be a historian to know when vampires strike. So the crew found it because it smelled because it's a body. And the crate is tracked back to John's office

because probably he just like signed it like, yeah, no, take this. For sure. And he admits to killing Adams because he, quote, was insulted, by the way, Adams demanded payment. Wow. So I didn't like the way he asked for his money for the job. There's a way to do it.

There's a way to not do it. Yeah. But this is a little version. I've had many altercations with servers and restaurants. Yeah, and had to send you with the bill. And you know, you certainly gets heated. Yep. You got to kill him. Yep. Yep. This is why you have to have unions.

So your boss doesn't murder you. Well, Dave, you know me. I'm a pro worker. So that's why I believe in the right to work. And like any good boss, John killed Adams with a hammer. Yeah, no, you want to really get it. Yeah. Make the point. You slow, slow hammer.

Slow. I wonder how many times you hit your own thumb when you're doing that. Does you know that's going to swell. So it's a high profile case because it's Sam's brother. Right. Now, John says it was self-defense. He said he did not actually mean to hit him that hard with the hammer. Yeah. You know how that works. You're just trying to kind of tap it in like a picture frame

and you end up doing it like it's a test of strength. Yeah, it's like like you don't know it's drywall. It just goes. No, you're just. Yeah. It's like you hit a stud. Sam pays for John's lawyers and at the PACT trial, prosecutors keep trying to connect Sam. And even at one point said the murder was done with one of his weapons and he had to come in and testify as to why that couldn't have happened.

The newspapers just savage John. And at one point they used a picture of him but of the victim but they used the wrong picture and PT Barnum was super obsessed with the trial but then he was horrified to open used a picture of him, but of the victim, but they used the wrong picture. OK. And P.T. Barnum was super obsessed with the trial, but then he was horrified to open the paper one day and see his portrait labeled as the victim. Oh, my God. Oh, everyone was like, yes. Oh, my God.

But you know, I died. But you know, there's no way he didn't use that to his advantage. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm back, baby. Dead guy tonight. Check it out. All the all the while, the trials going on and all this stuff. Sam is trying to keep his submarine mine project going. Sure. So John is found guilty and he is allowed to marry his girlfriend before he's executed. That's got to be a good energy.

Yeah. Sam is a witness at the ceremony. I'm sorry. I just know you're not going to. Yeah. I feel like you're not going to be. I want to know if you're going to be here for me till the end. Well, I guess you can't do till death do us part.

No, you can do till death do us part. Yeah, but that's like 45 minutes. Yeah, till tomorrow. So when they go to get John from his cell to escort him to the gallows, he is found dead in his cell with a knife in his heart. Oh, fuck me. So he'd even make it like they want whoever wanted to kill him in prison. Wanted to want to really do it.

Couldn't wait another hour. I mean, honestly, they didn't know. All right. I got him. He's going to die like tonight. No, no. What? Shit. Oh, man. I stabbed him right to the heart. So if you could imagine this, this leads to a ton of conspiracy theories.

Sure. Like one was that one was that he had not been killed. They put in, you know, a pauper as his body and that he was on a boat for France. Like it's just immediately because there's all these people gathered outside the prison for the hanging. And then they have to come out and go, I he died in his cell and immediately let down. I wish. Look, we're all really let down. It was going to be awesome.

But here's what we can offer. We're going to hang the dead body and pretend it's real. OK, yes. Yeah. No. But yeah, I would. Here's what I will say. I speak for everybody. I will say, no, that's not cool, but we also want it because we want anything death like.

But we're still going to we're still going to probably go with some really crazy shit. Well, and Fred agreed to stand behind him and do the voice. So Fred's going to go behind him and do the voice. And yeah, that's that's OK. Like, do it. But I think this is just going to lead to us having more crazy ideas. Like he's actually living in Maine. And I think it's the way to go. Sure. Well, here's what we're going to say.

Here's what we're saying is that he is now JFK Jr. We will now hang him and fettle through the voice. Okay. All right. Good work. I'm not guilty at all. Now is that the voice or is that? Was that Sam's voice that you were acting like it was? Or was that you talking because you look like a guy just standing there

doing a weird voice. You didn't look like Sam. It didn't sound it didn't seem like Sam Sam didn't talk. Sorry, John. I'm so confused. OK, back to the devil. Let's get this. Come on. So the gun company is officially dead. Damn it. And Sam,

he's mostly focused on getting his underwater explosive thing going. Much like his early days, he gets press, he gets people to come out for demonstrations. Sure. And they had one at the southern tip of Manhattan on July 4th. Mayors there, the city council, all their naval officers. And he blows up a derelict naval vessel. I mean, completely blows it up. Quote, awesome. There was not a single piece left longer than a man could have carried in one hand. He turned a boat into mist.

I mean, that's it's crazy. He holds two more demonstrations, including one for President Tyler. For his next, there is an estimated 40,000 spectators. Jesus Christ. Again, the ship completely destroyed. It is destroyed so well that Congressman John Quincy Adams thought it was unsporting and called it, quote, an un-Christian weapon. Wow. Imagine an era like it's incredible. That's unfair. That's ridiculous.

We can't do that. Yeah, it's kind of not really here anymore. No, now they're like, cool. Drop the moab. Well, I mean, a Christian, what's a Christian weapon? A Christian weapon is a religion sword. I mean, that's better. you but it's a way different vibe if he just goes out to the ocean and just starts stabbing a vessel.

I mean, stabbing a vessel sounds amazing. I agree. So, yeah, so he was like, you know, so so he's he's he's a high profile guy. He's he's going to become president. So he's kind of like a big objector to to what this is. He he felt he felt that the ships were blown up. It should be fair and honest.

He's like, if we're going to if we're going to kill heads up, send a memo. But Congress does does give Sam the money to continue. His right. He's important, very important research. He can keep going. So in February 1844, his biggest government advocate, the Secretary of State, was killed a new warship's gun exploded during a demonstration. So that's that good.

That's hard to get the green light now. Well, it wasn't his it wasn't his demonstration. It was another one. It was a completely different ship. Oh, someone. It's a completely different. It's a completely different thing. But who's doing it? Who's doing what? The demonstration.

Whoever was that there was their guns. It was a gun, a giant, giant warship gun. OK. Those will blow up once in a while. Sure. So several military men are skeptical that the mine defense system would work in a war. And then the worst thing happens. The US and Britain declare peace. And they agree.

So so now there's no need for the expensive harbor. The level at which he was like, no, no peace now. Damn it. So salmon. I'm sure two big wars are going to be coming soon. It'll be war. Hey, hey, buck up. There'll be wars. People people always come start killing each other.

It won't be the same. So it's going to be great. England and America, though, just sort of be to hey, hey, wait. Fires for the England will fight somebody else. They always do. And also, we're going to keep killing the Native Americans. It's going to be OK. You promise?

Just not with the bombs. No, but I'm sorry. I should have said that. The base maybe will fight water people, maybe we'll find Atlantis and we'll find the semenals. That doesn't sound right when repitched. Nope. So now he meets Samuel Morse, who I did call the Morse part.

Yes. So Morse guy. Yes, this is so we are talking about bomb guy who's got wires going to his ocean bombs of the guy who's like, you know, I know how to text people. Well, he has just invented a new electrical telegraph. Oh, boy. Which Sam is like, that will work great for underwater use. And they come up with an idea.

Do you have any principles? Why, actually, I don't. They come up with an idea to install a telegraph wire between New York Merchants Exchange and Sandy Hook, New Jersey. But it's too expensive. So instead, he he he focused on developing the remote underwater mines. God damn.

Everyone comes back like, look, it's just cheaper to kill. So in January 1847, Colt meets a captain who he meets in a gun store and he'd fought in the war against Mexico, which is still going on at this point, I think. And his name is Samuel Walker. Everyone's name is Samuel. Yeah, story. All the other people we meet. So Walker's men had used Colts and he loves the gun. And he has ideas for upgrades.

And he wants to convince the army to use them laser beams. So Sam starts implementing Walker's ideas. Into his guns, he's doing it. Notes. I don't know what his notes are. I think, again, incredible to be like, may I pitch on the gun? I have some ideas. So they start using a gun factory in Connecticut by this guy, run by this guy, Eli Whitney Jr. And those two together,

Jr. Eli Whitney Jr. Yeah. Is this cotton gin kid? I don't know. Isn't Eli Whitney who invented the cotton gin? I don't remember. Oh, I don't. I drink gin, but not enough to know the brands.

By the way, we have reverse roles of I Know the Cards. So these two guys create a gun called the Colt Walker. It is called the most powerful handgun ever made. And Samuel gets a meeting with President Polk to show him. And then General Sam Houston is a big supporter after a small force of Rangers had held off 500 Mexicans with Colts. So between those, the lobbying of those two, the government orders 1000 and the profit $10 per gun.

Good. So. They're able to put together the workers and and crank out the 1000 guns without a factory. Everyone do it at home. So you take the barrels over to Frank's house. Uh huh. OK. You take the handles. How long? house. Uh huh. OK. You take the handles. How long? Yeah.

I mean, that is crazy. We're all going to go to Ted's for the night. If Linda's doing the triggers. So, yeah. She's just under a tree over there. Hello. Now reports from the war say the gun is doing well. I love the gun probably wrote home like a Civil War letter. Dear Samuel, things out here have been strange at times

to say the least. But recently- But I've killed a lot of peoples. I've been on fire, killing so many people. Man, when you see a young gentleman's head blown open My chambers moving better than ever tell the kids I said hi So he starts building factories it builds a factory in England and one in Connecticut the US factory Becomes the biggest factory in the United States Wow it becomes It becomes the it gun for UOP and wars.

It is the gun to have, baby. Uh-huh. This beautiful ensemble. And so if one side has them, the other side has to have them. And guess what our boy likes? Selling! Hey!

The loyalty! So it's just escalation, right? This also creates a massive market for ammunition. As before, it was exposed gunpowder. Now it's bullets. Celebrities now want them. Look at Gene Kelly. Cold salesmen are also wholesale agents, so they could close large orders on their own without worrying

about the factory. Right. Contacting anyone. So factory workers are working 10 hour shifts. They have men, they have women. He installs bathrooms. He mandates a one hour lunch. By the way, people who work at Amazon are like, wait, what? 10 hours club at a library. Off hours club. He wanted to keep the workers happy. Making their death things. The factory also has precision tools. He could soon sell weapons and the machinery to build them.

Oh, cool. It's like a 3D printer. So just make your own cults at home. and the machinery to build them. Oh, cool. It's like a 3D printer. So just make your own Colts at home. That's right. The factory became the first successful US model in advanced manufacturing techniques. So I think people think Henry Ford did this. Yeah. Samuel Colt did this.

No, a different hero. Workers trained at his factory would go on to make breakthrough products for typewriters, vacuums and selling machines. So it's a way better things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those are better, aren't they? Yes. Well, you're gonna need the sewing technology to sew up the people we're killing with our cults. That's right. Yes. For the holes. And we can use sewing machines humans correct Dave? Yes. For the holes. And we can use sewing machines, humans, correct, Dave? Yes. I just always imagine the medic going to like did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did.

So Cole, he Cole, Colt, Semicolt markets his guns as a thing of beauty. Like it's literally the same way that you see car as today, right? He sold the art of his guns in a way that merit Roe Smith said had quote more ambition than any marketing scheme in the antebellum era So it's like a tag or why he's just like yes. Yeah This beautiful piece. Yeah, look at this. If you want to go through any human skeleton, might we recommend the Cold Walker?

Cold Walker, make sure they stop walking. Well, available at Walgreens. No one takes out an eye like a Cold Walker. Come on. And the back of the head. Okay, so he pays painter George Catlin to create ten paintings of cult guns being used in different situations. Like a guy hunting, a man pulling a gun on quote, astonished carib Indians.

That's a great one. Just beautiful slices of American life. It's just that's what I want to do. The nuclear family sitting around supper, carving off some honey glaze. When the little brother asks his sister to pass the peas and upon refusal, he puts the coal to her head and says, do it lady or I'll end it all for everyone. So the gun is quickly tied to Western expansion, right? It's the tool of Western expansion.

So cool. The Hartford factory is cranking out 150 guns a day. He's still not married. He's closing in on 40. By the way, his other lady just went away. The one he married before she just the 16 year old. Yeah, he that was it. That's it.

Yeah, she's just gone when she never comes up again. OK, so he's he's single. He's close to 40 and a bio by William Edward suggested his brother John's child is actually Samuel's child. OK. Super cool stuff there. So the belief there is that she was the product of his previous marriage. And he had his brother marry her when she got pregnant and say, oh, and then after the way,

that's that's how you brother up. Yeah, that's that's really how you step up as a brother. Just like, wait, be like, I'm going to get a lot of trouble because I fired one inside of her. Probably shouldn't have. You mind stepping up and marrying her? Okay, just live the life that I should have given her. But you know, you do it. Yeah, I'll take care of you, buddy.

There you go. So after John died, he was like, I'll, I'll take care of the boy. The boy was named Samuel Colt. Seems like quite an homage for an uncle. So Samuel married Elizabeth Hart Jarvis on 1850 in 1856. She's 12 years younger. She's very poised. She's very smart. She's perfect for like the rich crowd. Very good upbringing. Sure. They had a sec.

They had a six foot high wedding cake that was decorated with rifles and pistols. Oh, OK. OK. Wow. Fucking a good Lord. I'm sure people still do it today. Oh, can you get the amount of American cakes at weddings now? It's probably weird if you don't get a gun cake. Yeah, honestly. Yeah. As they left Hart if you don't get a gun gig. Yeah, honestly, yeah.

As they left Hartford for their honeymoon on a ship, Colt Mechanics gave a gun salute from the factory roof. Hey, it's nice what's happening. By the way, you know things are good when people are celebrating you by Yosemite Samming on your gun factory roof. They toured Europe for months living lavishly. They would go on to have four kids, though two died as babies and another at three.

You know what, Dave? I think I speak, just say the four babies. Yep, that's fair. We don't need the fact that three of the four died. Why? They did. They didn't make it. I don't know.

That's a big part of your mental stability as you go forward. I think at this time. What do you mean that you've become? Well, you're probably going to be bombed if three or four kids died as opposed to like, I'll tell you what, not me living. I know I'm an outlier. Yeah. We used to have six cats.

People don't know that. Yeah. Well, listen, the TV spread around the house real bad. Yeah. Yeah. Well, listen, the TV spread around the house real bad. Yeah. Yeah Taberculosis stop it He built a huge mansion at which he called arms mirror Arms mirror. What is that? Arms isn't as in guns arms. Yeah I don't know. Okay, whatever

arms. Yeah, I know what's arms near. I don't know what mirror. I don't know. Okay, whatever. Insanely expensive, like create like one of those crazy houses, we bought people from all over the world to make different fucking things. And he he's making now customs for royals all over the world. It's the gun. It's like a crowd. They are the thing to have for the rich and powerful czars in Russia. So this is now. Yes, this is now. Yeah, as I was saying before, this is golden. Great.

It's in the hand of influencers now. Yes. So we're going to go to Kendall Jenner. Yeah, right. Yeah, it's crazy. He no longer had to do as much advertising as they're basically selling themselves. For the guns that won the West, that's what they're called. So as the Civil War gets closer,

he sees less of his wife because there's such a demand for guns. Wow. He happily sells to both sides. Because again, yeah, is slavery bad? I don't know. Republicans buy shoes, too, Dave. Happily sells to both sides. Because again, is slavery bad? I don't know. I'm making money. Republicans buy shoes too, Dave. There's no restrictions on trade yet, and that's why he's allowed to sell like that.

But then papers start writing about his allegiance, and some are calling him a traitor because he keeps selling guns to the South. His allegiance is to the North. No, he's selling guns to the South, so they're calling him a Southern because he keeps selling guns to the south. His allegiance is to the north. No, he's selling guns to the south. So they're calling him a southern sympathizer. Okay. Yeah, right. Okay. So he's selling guns to both sides. Yes. Yes. Right. Suddenly, the company's reputation is at stake because they're now going to be seen as the gun of the traders who left the country. He quickly began backing the North, right? Really just did a PR 180.

Sure. He had planned on building a giant armory in the South to supply the South during the war, but then he scratched his plate. Yeah. It doesn't hurt that the union is by far the bigger buyer of guns. Like if the South had been the bigger buyer of guns, I don't know the way this goes. By 1860, although I believe his wife. I believe his wife is a big.

Oh, no, it might be a sister and abolitionist. Anyway, by 1861, he so in his in his like, promoting himself as like a guy for the north, he creates the first regiment Colts revolving rifles of Connecticut. And then in 1861, he becomes the Colonel of it. Like he's really going all out on this. Yeah, he's really overstating it now. Yeah. He is now one of the richest men in America. He is discharged from his regiment in 1861. If you notice, that's the same year that he became the Colonel. Right.

But he keeps using, he keeps from then on, he calls himself Colonel. Don't they all, every single guy like this is just like, yeah, I'm a Colonel. I'm captain. Never was he in the field as a soldier. Sure, that doesn't all the years are working hard and always be in the face of cult and running around and doing big contracts instead of trusting someone else to do it. It starts to catch up with them.

And he gets severe chronic rheumatism. So it's great. He's always in pain, which is great, which is what you want. Fine with. I'm fine with you. Wow. So to people who say to you, you hate freedom, you're just kind of acknowledging that you do.

Yes, that's okay. Yes. Okay. He and then one of his one of the kids died around this time and he is every kid he have dying. Well, this is one of the three that died. And he is he's just completely overwhelmed. He's stressed out. He's depressed. Sure.

And he dies on January 10th, 1862 of gout. Oh, it's a pudding disease. I mean, just dying of gout is just like dying from gout is really remarkable. It's really bad. Just to be like, you think it'll clear up. Awful. Oh, you probably are like, thank God this is. It's that we've started to call it gravy foot. When he died, his wealth was estimated about 17 billion today.

Holy fuck. He gives two million to his, I don't know what you want to call the kid, his nephew, his son, maybe. Yeah, his son few. So his wife can test the will. When it was learned how much he was giving to the kid and John's mother, then produced. Sorry.

Cole Jones. Wait, the boy's mother, Sam, the Sam Sam Cole, Sam's the nephew, right? The nephew's mother produces a marriage certificate stating they were married in Scotland three decades before. So she's like, really? Take this to court, motherfucker. So they the boy keeps the money. So but at the end of the Civil War, it was seen.

The gun is seen as not great in some situations. It's not great when the shooter's on horseback because it was heavy and the barrel was too long and sometimes it misfired and ignited different chambers. And then they made the Colt Dragoon, which was an improvement good on horseback, less jamming, and that becomes a celebrity gun. So it's like Apple products. Right. Charlie Parker's General George McClellan, wild Bill Hickok used it. And so that's and now it's, you know, the Colt. It's a famous fucking gun. Wow. Well, it was bound to happen. I mean, it was kind of a right matter of time

until someone comes along. Someone makes it something like this. Yeah. But I mean, the thing that always comes down to is like, well, he doesn't care that people are living or dying at all. No, again, I mean, dude, it's like a dead horse at this point that we're shooting. But, you know, you just cannot expect morality in the game where the goal is to have as much money as possible. Otherwise, your life is not worth living. You cannot. There was a guy at my show last night who worked in fracking. When I finally got to the fact that he worked in fracking, people

like, ooh, and I'm like, okay, look, not my dream job for a human to have. But what do you expect at this point when we're getting down to like 10 companies that provide livings for people on the reg? It's it's right. We we you and I have seen these people who are trying to. Well, we've both worked for Fox. Like we we have we've worked for companies that are fucking terrible because that's all there is I'm in the IDF

Yes, I am also I didn't But it's like no you have no choice you can't get mad you can't get mad at who who like we try to be Selective in our advertisers, but it's like you can't get mad at people like there's people I see screaming at Podcasts for ever and it's like it doesn't fucking mad at people. Like there's people I see screaming at podcasts for hours. And it's like, it doesn't fucking matter. None of it fucking matters anymore. The government's not doing anything. That's what the problem is. You want people who are principled.

But you also have to understand that, you know, if you live in a country and a system where everyone is for sale in every way, it's hard to compete in that. You just need a reset of the rules. And that just is not happening when it comes to, you know, the system that we live in. And so someone would have come along and invented this gun.

People don't give a shit. But he did and he is a bad person. Yeah, it was like, I want to give it to both sides. And but that just because if you're if you're giving a better gun to both sides in a war, that means you are killing more people. That's what it means. Yes. But you're cutting a better weapon to kill more people. So you're you're bad.

Like if you know, it's the bunker buster bombs. I think you're a monster. That's what you created. You're a fucking monster. Speaking of which, the guy who came up with fracking is hugely regretful of the way that that's all played out. Of course he is. Well, people don't realize fracking is essentially a Ponzi scheme. We've done podcasts on here where we talk about when a guy made a fake mine and said it was going to make a ton of money, and then he

sold shares in it, and then by the time everyone realized that the mine was bullshit, he had already gotten all the money and was done. That's what fracking is. It's just the modern day version of it, but that's all it is. It's mostly selling bullshit fracking operations to people, making money, and then walking away. That's that's it's largely bullshit. Same with the shale oil.

They're all fucking is literally capitalism destroying the world. So some guys can make money. Yeah, and we're for it. And we're for it. But anyway, like, I don't know. Yeah, I have I have I have weird feelings about this because it's like you're right someone else would have done it But he did do it. So fuck it. No you you cannot you someone has I mean someone would have been Jeff Bezos You know that would have happened. Yeah, but you also have to go

Yeah, well fuck you. You're the one so fuck you. Yeah, you know, we don't like you. We don't want you here We want your life to suck. We want your life to suck. We want your boat to sink We want your things to capsize. All right. Whoa, we want your head to shine We want to hear you laugh while we're sort of just like stepping on your neck What's happening right now? We want to like see what it's like to have you just sort of meat hooked onto like a sailboat, okay, you know and we bring it up and we bring the We bring it up and we bring the we bring it up there. We want to see what it's like for you to be in an Iron Maiden. Have we and put in port bacon and probe

bake port bacon juice on your genitals and have dogs fight over who could rip it off. We want to see what it's like when we put honey on your eyes and let birds go pack them out. The sources want to chase you into the ocean and watch you drown as we have a very high tech binoculars so we can watch it happen. Samuel called the life and legacy of a man who invented America's most famous guns by the Charles River editors. It'd be nice to put you in a life jacket made of chum

and killer costs you into the middle of the ocean. Disgrace, because then you have to decide whether you throw a life jacket made of chum and killer cloths you into the middle of the ocean. Disgrace, because then you have to decide whether you throw the life preserver off now or you keep yourself afloat or whether you let the sharks just come over and just eat your life preserver that you're in. Killer colt murder, disgrace and the making of an American legend by Harold Schecter. We light you on fire and give you a barrel of gasoline as your only option to put yourself out with it. All right. Thanks for listening.

Yeah. We want to shout out to everyone who's working with us. We appreciate the hell you guys. So I travel a lot. I mean a lot, perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right? So I'm out there, I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy and I want all the comforts of home. That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible.

Recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado and I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff and before we got to the gigs we were like let's just get an Airbnb and it is just a more comforting existence. You have a kitchen, you have a yard, you know it's communal living, it's just a less stressful place, more enjoyable experience. So when I go on tour, you know, like I'll be going on tour in a couple months, I always am like, well, could my place be an Airbnb? You know, just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little

bit of money. And the answer to that is yes, yes, it can be an Airbnb. It's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away. So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world. Turn your home into an Airbnb. Give it a shot.

You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host.