The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 654 - The Pieman w/ Wil Anderson and Justin Hamilton - Live
Episode Date: October 8, 2024Comedians Gareth Reynolds and Dave Anthony are joined by Wil Anderson and Justin Hamilton to examine Australia's greatest athlete - The Pieman. Recorded in Adelaide. Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources...  Litter Robot Rocketmoney Â
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So I travel a lot. I mean a lot perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right?
So I'm out there. I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy and I want all the comforts of home
That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible recently
I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado
And I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff and before we got to the gigs
We were like, let's just get an Airbnb and it is just a more comforting existence you have a kitchen you have a
yard you know it's communal living it's just a less stressful place more
enjoyable experience so when I go on tour you know like I'll be going on tour
in a couple months I always am like well could my place be an Airbnb you know
just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money.
And the answer to that is yes, yes, it can be an Airbnb.
It's really just as simple as listing your place
and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away.
So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles
while you're out there exploring the world.
Turn your home into an Airbnb.
Give it a shot.
You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much
at Airbnb.ca slash host.
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Hey, what's with all this money over here?
Put an American flag in there.
You know, a lot of people don't know what's going on.
There's subscriptions, you make one, then you forget,
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What a planet. You're.com slash dollop. Rocketmoney.com slash dollop.
What a planet.
You're listening to the dollop.
Woo!
No, that's bad.
You want to air drop a new version?
It says it's going to stop recording after eight minutes.
Ah! You want to air drop a new version? It says it's going to stop recording after eight minutes.
I guess my follow up is can we get it done in that time?
Can you start doing some editing?
Feels like no.
You guys aren't going to be dicks about that if we just, camera wise, you understand there
are limitations.
Why don't you go towards the end and then...
Okay. Yep.
Uh, you listening to the TOLIP?
We're just gonna keep doing that part a few more times.
It's an American history podcast where each week
I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to my coworker.
(*audience laughs*)
Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea
what the topic is going to be about.
That's true.
Thank you.
(*audience cheers*)
That guy's gonna fuckin' kill you.
That guy.
Ah, is that that guy with the huge dong? That guy is way too into you.
Is that the big dong man?
Did big dong leave?
Oh there you are.
Fuck.
I've got my third eye on ya.
There's some 1970s serial killer South Australia energy coming from that guy.
That's how I want to go.
I want to go that way.
Yeah I want to go. That yeah, I want to go like yeah
I want to go that's how I want to go um
Listen we weren't going to have any guests tonight, but then we saw this sitcom
Called Hamo and Ando and I don't know if you've ever seen it
But we fell in love with the two stars of it yep, and we got them here tonight
Give it up for Justin Hamilton and Will
Anderson, our guests.
Two greats. There they are. Thank you. That's what that guy wants to do. Yeah, he's looking to bang me. This is, um...
You guys are beautiful.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm a Botox.
Do you want to tell that story quick?
Oh yeah, actually this is true.
I don't know if I've told you this, a couple of weeks ago in Sydney at the train station,
I was standing there with my headphones on
and this woman, late 30s, comes up
and just starts talking to me and I'm like,
huh?
And I pull her mouth and she says,
can I ask you a question?
And I said, sure.
And she says, do you use Botox?
And I said, where?
And she said, in your forehead.
I said, nah, this is a receding hairline
and I hate the beach.
And she went, ah, and just walked off.
Headphones back on.
Under the tracks.
Under the tracks.
Yeah, that was our last question.
You know, I first performed here in 1988
because I went to Woodville High School just down the road.
Yep.
Yeah, Woodville!
Yep, we all went to Woodville. 20! And the road. Yep. Yeah, Woodville!
Yep, we all went to Woodville.
Hey!
And you know, they say in your career.
No dingos!
You know, at Woodville High,
there was a building across the road from us.
It was a big building with big writing on it.
And some people might remember.
Well, I wish it was that word.
It was the Woodville Centre. Yep, some people laughing, because they know was that word. It was the Woodville Center.
Yep, some people laughing because they know what that word is and I'm not gonna say that word because it's a bad word.
It's not as bad as some people are probably thinking but it is a bad word.
I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.
You've got to give us some sort of, what sort of establishment was it?
It was a place that helped people with cerebral palsy.
Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
No.
Oh.
For those of you worried, yeah, we're getting into some good comedy.
Oh.
Fertile ground doth lie here.
Yep.
Yeah.
In size 36 font from 1985 to 1989, that sheet is embedded in my head.
Wait, what is that word that I can't say,
that I've worked really hard not to say?
Ding-a-ling.
I mean, it's tough that you brought it up though,
because it's making it hard to talk about.
I know.
Like the fact that we can't say it's the S word, right?
You're talking, was it the S word?
Yes.
Yeah, okay.
I don't even know what the S word,
I'm so woke I don't even know what the S word is.
Right.
It's slut. Yeah.
It's slut. Yeah, it was fucking help, stop.
I'm trying to help the show a little bit.
He was right, it was the Woodville Slut Center,
and it's just across the road from my high school.
And thank you, thank you for your work.
Imagine though, I mean imagine if there was a slut center across the high school, like
that would be amazing.
What an amazing school to go to as a boy.
What is happening?
Every dude who brought like a woman like you're going to like the podcast is like, fuck.
How dope would it be if there was a slut center across from your high school? Yeah.
It was coed.
Men could go.
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, we're talking guy and girl sluts.
Yeah.
All two.
I still don't know what the S word is.
You'll tell me after?
Yeah, yeah.
Just whisper it.
I almost sipped this.
I know.
I thought you were about to sip the microphone.
I was gonna.
Things aren't going well for me.
Fuck it.
Oh mate.
Attack it to that one.
I drink six mikes a night, fucking hell, it's too much mate.
I'm fine.
Alright, well these are about to run out, so we've got about two minutes.
Okay.
Get in.
Someone can airdrop battery.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
You didn't see that!
Fuck, it's ruined!
So...
Back to the Sluts center.
Let me guess.
There's going to be a building coming up.
Yeah.
You fool.
God damn it.
We know.
I can't believe I ruined this podcast.
I know which one this is.
That's the, uh, slut center. Yep. There it is. Yeah. No, That's the slut center.
Yep, there it is.
No, that's the slut center.
Yeah.
Look at him.
Look at that.
Look at those big sluts.
I mean, you're like just rolling down
in a fucking wad of Jews.
James Fosdike's here.
He assured us that was not a jizz wave.
No, no, no, it's James Fosdike.
That's definitely jizz.
100% jizz.
A giant dildo in the top corner.
Oh, come on, no.
He told us that was a blimp.
That furry.
There's a bear, there's a furry.
This is all sex, right?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ, Dave.
We're the slut center.
You idiot.
Fuck yeah, we are.
What?
Fuck yeah.
You'll notice that James' drawing has evolved
because in this year's poster, he made me fat as fuck.
But when you called him out on email, what did he say to you? He made me fatter.
No, no.
What he said was, I made you strong.
And that's exactly how he told me the story yesterday.
So I was winking at him as well. So I was winking at him as well.
March 19th, 1807.
March 19th, 1807.
March 19th, 1807.
March 19th, 1807.
William Francis King was born in London,
the eldest son of Francis King Esquire,
quote, late paymaster of petty accounts
in the treasury at Whitehall.
His mother isn't mentioned in any of the historical accounts
so we can assume she wasn't important
because she was a woman.
It's not pairing great with the riffing
from the beginning to be honest.
Yeah, that's true.
As the oldest son, as the oldest son, William's parents
were hoping that he would go into the church.
The sluts said that.
Yep.
They wanted him to lead a respectable, quiet life,
but he was too boisterous and athletic to spend his days
in pious religious contemplation.
Okay.
He's too athletic, okay.
Yeah.
Instead, he went to work for a stock-broking firm,
Smith and Simpson.
Turned out that he wasn't great with money.
That's because he's boisterous and athletic.
Yeah, yeah.
Is that a problem with stocks?
Well, he kept losing money, so then he left and he went to work for the treasury with
his dad.
Right.
But he was bad with money.
Right.
So he gets...
Okay.
He was overqualified.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, okay.
But because the treasury is where you want people who are terrible with money to work,
that's the... Right? Yeah. where you want people who are terrible with money to work.
That's the, right? Yeah.
But again, his restless disposition kicks in
and it means he doesn't last long at the treasury.
And he decided to get the hell out of England
and head to Australia in 1829 at the age of 22.
He arrived in Sydney's with letters of recommendation,
probably that his dad got for him.
Or that you could just fucking make up.
So calm. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yeah, everyone in England really likes me.
Well, that's official.
Welcome aboard.
I'm sure there's a seal,
and maybe they drew their face in the corner.
Sure, right.
So he's hoping to get a government job.
There's not many open, however,
so he took a gig
offered by the Archdeacon Broughton
as clerk at Sutton Forest.
So the clerk probably looked after the administration
at the church.
So after that, he becomes a tutor,
and he's working for a family near Campbelltown.
But after a few years, he was restless again,
so he left the peace and quiet
of Campbelltown for the bustle of Sydney.
He got a job as a bartender at the Hope and Anchor
on the corner of Pitt and King Street in the CBD.
Okay.
We still go there.
Yeah.
You do?
Nope.
Okay.
Williams started to feel like he wasn't going
to impress his family and make his fortune
in Australia after all, so he starts planning to return to England.
But then he falls in love with a convict woman.
So convicts were allowed to marry free settlers, but only if the settler could support them.
And William could not support them.
So he got a job as a barman, he owned no land,
he's basically a millennial.
So he came up with a genius plan.
Okay, Bill Maher.
We ruined everything and now they're poor.
We ruined everything and now they're poor
William and his lady would elope to England
He would buy a ticket for himself and smuggle her her on board the ship in a box. That's nice That's that's the next best thing to a ticket. Yeah
Absolutely caring. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Hopefully it didn't pack a bunch of crackers like a weirdo.
Get all over it.
As long as they're not opened, you know?
Open Jets.
But if you did chip yourself in the box.
Why are you putting open Jets in anything?
Yeah.
Did you seal them in any way?
Was there a rubric?
Yeah, it was closed.
No, there was no, nothing.
OK, so you're assuming.
The box was closed.
The box was closed.
And you realize that that's not a good security system
they've come up with.
Well, because the airport workers are terrible.
To be honest, that's the luggage guys.
No, that's the weird cracker man.
Who thinks that that cardboard latch is as good as a padlock? I put...
Yeah, that's it to make it.
There we go.
I put cautioned Jats on the side.
Yeah, but Jats means something else here.
People are like, oh, this might get you balls.
Wow.
Okay.
So he's going to put her in a box. He does. She's loaded onto the ship, hiding in
the wooden box. Oh, fuck me. And then William misses the boat. Oh my fucking God. Oh my
God. Of all the days you should be on time. What the fuck? Yeah. Well, this is why they
don't normally let you take off if the luggage has already been pre-loaded.
We're going to have to take it.
This is where the rule comes from.
Oh my god, that is horrible.
She's like, once we get there it'll be alright.
He arrived in the dock to see it sailing away
with his yachts in a box trapped.
He grabbed a passerby's horse and galloped to South head trying to get the attention of someone on the boat
But he couldn't know yeah, what do we know we know we know why he was late
No, we don't know what was he doing. I mean what do you else did you have on that day?
It is inexcusable to be late on this, to miss this boat.
Catching the boat that you've got your fiance in a box.
You know that feeling when you're delayed on set,
and you're like, oh, I fucked up.
You were saying that today.
You were doing an interview.
You were going to be late for your,
the anxiety inside of you when you're going to be late.
Yeah.
But the feeling when he was like, oh, fuck,
I might actually, I can't miss this.
I will kill her.
She will die.
A horror death in a box.
Well, it depends on how long the Jats last.
Right.
This is the right time to pack Jats.
Yeah.
This is it.
Yeah, but don't give like the movie poster
for Jats case right now.
Jats pack!
A weird quirky comedy with Dave Anthony. Jatt's pack.
So who yelled out five six?
Who yelled out what?
Someone yelled five six.
Five six?
Or something, numbers?
Don't do that.
Okay.
What just people around, they're trying to watch a show
and some guy's like,
five, six!
Oh, he might be learning to count,
and in that case, seven.
Leave it to the guy who went to slut school.
See how scared that guy was of you?
Yeah, like who said that?
Everyone's like,
yeah, yeah, yeah, fuckin' hell.
So we don't know if his girlfriend escaped
or if she died in the box.
What?
Nobody knows.
Nobody knows.
Oh.
How low, I mean, she's.
But you want, because she probably was just like
on the boat waiting for him for a while.
This is the worst. And then he didn't come and then she posted her banging but
Not with him or or you know what actually like day one
Somebody probably goes down and has a look around all the boxes
Yeah, okay, she's banging on the side of the box. Yeah person notices she explains what's happened
Yeah, I checked these guys clearly not on not on board, so they're like,
oh my god, you've been terribly taken advantage of
in this situation, we're going to look after you,
take you to where we're going,
she's lived a very positive and happy life.
This is now Schrodinger's fiance.
Yeah.
Sounds like total nonsense.
Had lots of kids.
And her granddaughter's here today.
Stand up, stand up.
Take a bow.
We put her in a box.
Yeah, I think they noticed a smell.
Oh.
Okay, you know what?
Let's just...
I tried so hard to make that noise.
And it was Jets!
They smelled the Jets!
And they got her out.
So locals said that as a result of the grief caused by this event, William King's personality
disappeared.
Is that in the box as well? Ta-da! He abandoned any concept of middle class civility,
leaving his job and becoming a full-time pie seller.
What the fuck?
Oh, wait a minute.
He's, dude.
Wow.
There's a lot of Benz in this one.
Yeah.
He, so he started selling pies.
His new personality was the Flying Pie Man.
It sounds like a man.
Oh, fuck.
It turns out, I'm like, this is going to be his story about sneaking her.
This is going to be her story about getting out of the box.
Oh, okay, now he's the Flying Pie Man.
Yeah.
Sorry.
What's your origin story to be the Flying Pie Man?
Yeah.
Well, I put my girlfriend in a box.
Yeah.
Pick that up, Marvel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The goat.
He would stand on the street yelling,
Pies, hot pies, kidney, pork, apple, mutton, hot pies.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
William's new flying piman persona
was described as peculiar and vivacious.
Right.
Wow.
Like both.
The vivacious guy was like,
I don't know what to say.
That peculiar man makes me feel kind of hot and bothered.
Very vivacious.
Interesting.
I'm intrigued.
He murdered his girlfriend in a box
and lost his personality.
Long with his personality.
But isn't it interesting that that's the career he chose?
Inside is where the good stuff is in the pie.
Oh yeah.
He's working stuff out.
Yeah.
Will just cannot believe what I just said
Yeah, he's really thought that you needed to bring it back to her dying in the box
like we'd safely moved on to some fun pie world and you're like
Imagine the wooden buck crate is the pastry of the pie and the woman inside is the ingredients of the pie
is the pastry of the pie. And the woman inside is the ingredients of the pie.
She's dead, like that kidney.
They took her kidney, they put it in a pie.
Isn't that not what a pie is, with meat on the inside?
Stop helping.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
By your definition, you're a pie.
You are a pie.
Thank you.
Yeah.
We're all pies.
Your suitcase is a cracker pie
Okay, so his outfit
He wore white stockings. Yep. Yep red knee breeches
An open white shirt. Yep, so blue jacket and a top hat with multicolored streamers pouring out. Oh
and a top hat with multi-colored streamers pouring out. Oh.
Carry a staff adorned with even more streamers
and he would use the staff to hold forth
and make rambling speeches.
Well, we always want to know what the weird pie guy thinks.
Yeah, nice to get his thoughts out.
Sometimes the speeches would start well,
but often quote, deteriorated into energetic diatribes
or incomprehensible perorations,
which stirred onlookers into loud hurrahs.
That's quite a shock that became incoherent.
Is this the story of the first Adelaide Fringe?
Yes.
This is how it started.
As time went on, he got more and more into the attention and his speeches got longer.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
Right.
So yes, it is.
His pies were kept in a two-lidded iron box on top of a small charcoal stove with a chimney
on the side so they stayed hot.
So it had legs that it stood on,
but also handles so William could carry it around.
Yes.
The pies were sold according to Australia Worker magazine,
smoking hot, served in diminutive blue or white plates,
swimming in delicious gravy.
So this is when, back then they would hand you a plate with a utensil and you would eat
the pie and then give it back.
You had to eat it right there.
The next person, the next person, he'd put it on the same spoon and you just, yeah.
All street food then, you would use the same utensils and then just move on and everyone
did that. I like it.
That's cool.
Communal.
Also like the French, right?
Yeah.
No.
At a later.
Yeah.
OK.
You ain't earned that sip.
No sip for you.
The sip's for closers.
Yeah, I know you wanted to do the bit and sip.
I wasn't ready.
So either you take a silent sip or you wait for a bit.
But you don't sip in silence.
That is a thing in comedy.
And by the way, we're in the middle of a bit.
So if you wanted to sip, now you could sip because you're trying to sip made a bit happen.
So why don't you sip now but you're just sitting and not sipping while there's a bit.
I'm doing the bit sit sip and you're just sitting there
like a dumb shit.
So if you want to sip, we are technically
in the middle of the bit, even though I'm almost done
with it, so hurry.
Legally, you could take a sip.
Now the bit's done.
All right. We could take a sip, now the bit's done. Alright. Hey!
You gotta wait for the bit!
The fuck was that?
I do the bit.
Oh sorry.
I was just jumping in.
You wanna have a sip?
Go on, go on.
I'm having some trauma.
You really let me have it.
I love it. So'm having some trauma. All right, just, you really let me have it. You'll be, you'll love it.
So.
Go ahead.
There you go.
So he.
So he.
Yeah.
Woo!
So he called himself the Flying Pie Man
because he performed impressive athletic stunts
while selling his pies. Stuff that he didn't need to be doing like it is there
is a lot of trauma working out going on with a lot of pie tasting. The extra
Ha ha!
Great time for a sip. Ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
That's a Woodville education right there.
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
An early feat that started to make him famous
was he would offer pies to passengers
boarding the Paramount Steamer at Circular Quay.
Quay. Quay. Quay?
Quay?
Quay?
I think I spelled quay?
Yeah.
He'd offer them the pies.
That's it, right?
That's the area.
And then,
any pies he didn't sell to passengers getting on the ferry,
he would then run all the way to Paramata,
arriving before the ferry to offer them
to the same passengers as they got off.
Boy, he can really get to a vessel.
I asked if he wants to.
That is bullshit.
Shit.
Yeah.
I've never heard a bigger load of crap in my entire life.
You couldn't even run that without pies.
Fuck, mate.
For the next day's people to come in,
are these steamers going fucking backwards?
What the fuck?
Oh, why?
I mean, they did go really slow.
Boats are really slow.
I mean, this guy, like, that's a long way.
He put his girlfriend in a box and she died.
You know what, we're trying to move up beyond that
by pying and-
I mean, I feel it's a bit on the nose
that if the pies do represent the box and the girlfriend,
that he is selling the people on a boat. a boat like it feels and he's hustling yeah
he's like oh I gotta get moving there's money there yeah but his girlfriend is
like I'll ride the bike for a little bit back hey captain my woman is gonna die
under there whatever it's true he had no excuse to be late if he could run that fast. Yeah. I'm definitely not on his side now.
You know, you talk about like...
He could have caught that boat at the speed...
Apparently now he can run fast enough
he can beat an entire boat to Parramatta,
but he couldn't run fucking 15 meters down to the docks
to get on the boat in time.
You know what I'm saying?
It's like John Wick, but with pies.
The fucking nerve. And the fact that we will never know
what made him late that day.
Yeah.
Like, if you could go back.
There's many times I think about going back to in history.
But man, just to see him.
What if.
What if.
Oh, god.
He was enjoying a pie.
Not OK.
He was so into it.
No.
He came late. I just shouldn't talk. So from the
circular key to Parramatta Wharf is 24 kilometers or 15 miles. Google Maps
says it would take 5.5 hours to walk there. Yeah, but they didn't have Google
Maps back then. Yeah they did. And he was carrying pies.
But if he's running, you cut that down.
But he's running with pies, so let's not get...
Yeah.
Yes!
Yeah, it's not regular running.
He's got fucking pies with him!
Well, motherfucker, wait till you see where this goes,
and you're going to think you're wrong,
because I think he did this.
Is he actually flying?
No, but he could have cheated.
He could have got on a bike.
Yeah, but I think he did this.
Why do you believe in the integrity of this pie man so much?
Because Dave spilled crackers in his bag.
I didn't spill them.
Okay, go on, please tell us.
I didn't spill them. Okay, go on. Please tell us
The current ferry takes
1.5 hours on the trip so obviously much much slower in the 19th century
But he still had to be going super fast and carrying the iron box of pies Yes, we've been that's our evidence
Okay, so his fame starts to grow and the media starts to pay attention to him as a local eccentric.
Sure, they should, yeah.
The Sydney Morning Herald in February 1835, quote,
the flying pie man presented himself at the police office
last Tuesday with an infant in his arms
and loudly inquired if a certain functionary was at home
on whom the honor of paternity of the urchin
had been conferred by a lady who chucked it,
as he expressed, into his shop.
And he had therefore taken it home to his papa.
So a lady threw a baby into a store.
And that's how he got a ward and that was Pieboy. And now he has the baby because I think he's taking home to the Papa.
But the constables were directed to turn the fellow out of the office and he went away
muttering something to the effect that some people might for the future look after their
own children.
So it's a story about him trying to do a good thing.
He's like this lady threw away a baby
and then he tried to help out with it.
I mean again, I'm not sure why you're apologizing
for this guy so much.
Yeah, you love him.
He sounds like a guy who stole a baby.
I agree, yeah.
This is the cover story of a guy who's stolen a baby.
Oh no, a lady threw a baby at me into my shop.
Are you kidding me?
I mean I know you know how this ends and I don't, but I'm not on his side. baby at me, into my shop. Are you kidding me?
I mean, I know you know how this ends and I don't, but I'm not on his side.
I know, but you have to understand that this is a man
who put a woman in a box and sent her to England
and then was just late.
Yeah, now he's trying to make up for it.
And now he's running fucking Superman
to go to these ferries to bring the pies.
Yeah, because he can't stop running now,
because he's like, if I just run to the boat,
and now his whole thing,
yeah, he's got pi TSD.
Like, he's working it out.
See, Justin's, you got Justin on your side now.
You know what, maybe I am on DiveSod.
Fuck.
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So I travel a lot.
I mean a lot, perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right?
So I'm out there, I'm living out of suitcases, or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy,
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And it is just a more comforting existence.
You have a kitchen, you have a yard,
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So everyone's writing about him.
The Port Phillip Gazette found the pie man selling sausages
to support an electoral candidate named Bob Short.
Here's your Bob Short sausage.
Well, don't say that anymore.
Tiny, tiny wieners, think of Bob Short.
Such was the shout on Tuesday last, anxious to obtain a view of the mouthpiece we
elbowed our way through the crowd
and observed a man who's professionally known
as the Flying Pyman.
Covered from heel to.
Yeah, it's nice that they pointed out
that he's professionally known.
Yeah.
As the Flying Pyman.
Also known as the Flying Pyman, I imagine.
But professionally.
Professionally, yeah.
Oh, at home he's just a regular man
who gets babies tossed his way.
Yeah.
He was covered from heel to truck with blue ribbons
while upon his arm hung a basket containing about 20 pounds
weight of the spicy article called Bob's Short Sausages.
Ah, wow.
And which some of the supporters of that worthy were
purchasing and masticating with much apparent gout. Wait what's the end of this?
Yeah people are enjoying the sausages. And getting gout? Sounds like they're getting gout.
And masticating? Yeah they're masticating. They're chowing down on sausage.
Just saying it with fancy words. Yeah. He's sausages people to gout.
Don't forget Bob Short.
When it feels like you're stepping on a bed of nails,
think of Bob Short.
This was of course outside the first Bunnings, right?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
This is where the tradition comes from.
Is that a sausage place?
Yeah.
It did remind me of the very first Bunnings. Yeah. Yeah. Just like if you had to guess what would you say Bunnings would be? Yeah. I shop. No. It's a
place where you put your lady in a box. I mean it's the place where you'd buy the box. It's funny
because you don't know what it is. Yeah. And we're enjoying that. Why don't you tell us?
What is Bunnings? Well first of all it used to be
Bunnings. I don't know if you guys know that. I'm a little older than these guys. I remember Bunnings from back in the day.
Bunnings was a place where everyone could go
to kind of get away from it.
Yep.
Yeah.
I mean, that's kind of, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I mean, you're warm, kind of.
You're good.
I know, yeah.
And hold on.
In the middle, it's coming.
And you could just kind of take a minute and find yourself and you
could go solo you could go with the wife you could go with the kids yeah but I'll
tell you what Bunnings always gave me as a boy yeah a minute to imagine yeah a
minute to imagine what what what could it be yeah What could Bunnings be?
Are you, as a boy?
I'm answering your stupid question if you'd let me finish.
Are you imagining Bunnings while you're in Bunnings?
As a boy, no. I was imagining all the things that I would go in there and get as a grown-up.
Oh yeah.
Blue collar boys, get it?
Yep.
What are you doing? Yep. it yep this is actually very true yeah so having a laugh
at your expenses now you're an adult so what do you go in there and get yeah you
know I actually a lot of times I go into bunnings and I don't get anything. I just go in there to remember......days of old.
Yeah.
Well...
You got it right.
I'll tell you who got it right.
Bunnings got it right.
Alright, so it was originally called...
...Munings.
But go ahead. You wanted an answer and I fucking...
You got it, dickhole.
You're the worst person I've ever met.
Going on, talking about the sausages,
the articles certainly looked very suspicious,
but whether manufactured of the canine or feline race
were admirable representations of that choice.
Sorry, that was cat or dog sausages is what you said.
Yeah, cat and dog sausages.
Like Bunnings.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Were you hiking for a picture then?
We thought I didn't know.
I can't.
I can't.
I've just gone through a lot.
Yeah, no, I can't.
So he was serving cat and dog sausages and everyone was like, that's fine.
I mean, at the time, yeah, people eat cat and dog.
From the Paramata Chronicle, to the supporters of pies!
That well-known individual, the Flying Pie Man, is now enlivening Peramada by his musical cries.
His talents for pie making are said to be hereditary, and he recommends hot apple pies
for breakfast as his father used to always eat them.
Pie Man is one of the most active and industrious men we have ever met and deserves encouragement
So it's genetic it's genetic you pass down your pie teen wolf. Yeah, yeah, you pass on your pie in you got it
Yeah, okay
So in 1842 he took a wager that he he
They said he couldn't walk 32 miles from a quarry place to Beyond Paramount and back again in six hours
And he did it in five hours 59 minutes and didn't even appear tired
Because he didn't do it. Yeah, it just didn't happen like it's an impossibility
Tell you it's not doing all these things that he's
Can't even do it by trying
all these things that he's claiming to be doing. We live there.
Can't even do it by train.
He's making cat pies and fucking hot dogs
and making up stories the rest of the day.
He's fucking selling pussy sausages
and all that kind of shit and trying to pass it off.
He's a liar.
You're just old men who can't walk to Parramatta.
I can.
You can't do it by train.
It is telling that he left like one minute. I can't do it by train.
It is telling that he left like one minute.
That's interesting. Uh, in 1844, he walked to and from Paramount for six consecutive days,
eating only a biscuit and a and a small tumbler of brandy every two hours.
Well, why is the question?
Yeah, because someone dared him.
But...
Like, what are you going to do if someone's like,
I bet you can't walk six days back and forth in Paramount
only having a biscuit of brandy.
I'm cutting you out of my life.
You're not someone I need to be around anymore.
You're a toxic human.
I don't like what you're doing.
His brain says, I'll save her.
And then he does the thing.
Yeah.
Woo.
That's what's happening.
There's a man running from the past when he didn't run.
He didn't run that day.
He walked.
He was like, oh, shit.
I just was enjoying watching, Garrus, you being so judgmental of somebody in a clearly
toxic relationship not being able to leave it.
Help me.
No, it can't be.
No. That... No, that can't be.
No, that's not about me.
Dave Thoughts.
Is he talking about his mother?
That's crazy.
Dave Anthony Inner Monologues.
Oh, he's talking about his other podcast.
Dave Won't Listen, Dave Thoughts.
Oh my God. He's talking about Jose.
I'll pack crackers.
Yeah, I agree with Will.
Dave, you passed out.
Are you okay, buddy?
I'm fine.
Totally fine.
I'm fine, totally fine. I'm fine.
There's little residents of Colonial Sydney loved more than gambling and bizarre novelties.
So William's talents make him very popular.
But he's not the only one.
In October 1810, Dickie Dowling carried a 14 stone man,
50 yards, while another athlete ran a hundred yards at the same time
I was like that was the this is too much. That was the competition
Okay, and you run can you run a hundred yards while I carry a 14 stone man 50 yards, right? Okay
There was nothing the Olympics invented there was
There was nothing. What year were the Olympics invented?
There was nothing to fucking do.
There was nothing to do.
So you're sitting around and you're like, I bet you can't carry a 14 stone dude.
Let me ask you this.
If tonight we saw like some posters, like some bills posted and they were like, this
competition is going to happen tomorrow.
I would watch that.
You wouldn't?
I would.
I would, absolutely. Yeah, I would watch that. You wouldn't? I would. I would, absolutely. Yeah, I would watch that.
100%.
I'd be like, holy crap.
Because it's a dude.
He's carrying a dude that weighs 14 stone.
So I get it.
So the event is like he's running 50 meters carrying
a 14 stone dude versus a guy running 100 meters just
on his own.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know what?
I would watch that.
I would watch that.
It does sound actually like a pretty fun event.
If we like, you know, put on a day, maybe serve some sausages, put it on theme, you know.
Yeah, get a little bit of cat, meet it down there.
You know what, have it at the car park at the Bunnings.
Isn't that enough for him there?
You know where that is.
I do know where it is.
Good luck getting a Perkins butt.
Some of them could be beasts of Perkins.
We could actually do this now.
We could do this now. We could run around the back.
One of us could carry Dave and we could run the hundred meters.
Oh, no, literally nobody could carry me on this stage. Nobody could carry you.
Like you absolutely.
This park has taken a super weird turn because the fact that you just said we can't I'm like, well buddy, we could.
We're not gonna, but we could.
This is how it happens. Just a bunch of guys sitting around a park.
All right, fuck it, tomorrow,
Hamill's gonna carry Dave 50 yards and I'll run 100.
Yep.
I mean, fuck it.
Two other men stage a backward running challenge
in Hyde Park in August 1830.
The winner completed it in one minute.
Wow.
We don't know how far.
Yeah.
No, they didn't say it today.
It was one minute.
Wow.
Yeah.
Justin was like, wow, one minute.
Look at that.
That's quite a distance.
How far was it?
Yeah.
It's a minute.
Two sportsmen identified as Mad Arthur, and Kara Jong Sawyer, staged a rolling contest in mud,
from a pub in Windsor to a crossroad.
Yeah, I've done that.
When you say rolling, you mean Molly, right?
No, no, very different.
They're literally rolling in the mud.
Oh, I've done that.
The winner did it in nine minutes.
Wow.
And the spectacle inspired an indigenous man, Bobby,
to repeat the feat in five minutes.
All right.
Suck on that.
White motherfucker.
Why did you look at me when you said that?
I think it was coming for me, but I went back and said a question.
Maybe that's what happened, but it really got me.
He was staring at me with an intensity like I had voted no.
I voted yes.
I know, twice.
Twice.
I voted for me and Adam Hills.
Yeah.
Another white.
Yeah.
Another white. Yeah. Interesting. Another white. Yeah. Another white.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Interesting.
So William started to become more famous
for his weird athletic challenges than he did for his pies.
Yeah.
And while initially he had used the stunts
to promote his pies, as the stunts got harder
and more bizarre, he just did them for wagers and that seems
to have become his only income.
I got to say I really like the word bizarre being involved in that.
Because the-
Well, because we're- it's already weird.
Oh, I disagree.
This is just normal.
Oh, okay.
But so he's just given up the pie business.
Yeah, now he can make money just doing challenges.
So no more pies.
No.
No more pies. But he keeps the name.
He keeps the pie the pie-ing pie-man.
Yeah.
There's just no more pies.
Interesting.
Okay. Interesting. Yeah.
Strange.
In October 1842, the Sydney Herald reported that the fly...
Actually, I can't move on from that yet.
Yeah, you're right.
Go ahead.
He can't do a rebrand.
He's a piman.
I mean, I guess he's like Dr. Chris Brown, the vet.
Right.
He's not doing a lot of vet stuff anymore.
No.
If you've got anal glands on your dogs are a bit big.
I don't think Dr. Chris Brown's like,
sick and his thing.
Stop it, I want a pie.
He can't help you anymore.
No, so, I mean, I guess, no pies at all though?
Like, not even like, for fuel, for energy?
I don't think anal glands are big.
I think they're swollen.
Is that what you mean?
I don't know, we're not a vet.
You gotta express them into the pie.
Okay, it sounds like you know too much about that.
Yeah.
Well, I have a side business.
Okay.
It's called express yourself.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
What was the question about?
What was the question? Well, we're all a little baffled about the plot.
So he's literally just like pivoted now.
Pies are out of this story.
He's still keeping.
He's now just an action adventure.
Yes.
Like doing dares for money.
But he can't change.
He's Jackass without the future.
Who dares wins the original.
He can't.
It's like Taskmaster.
Yeah.
Never heard of it. Who would do silly things?
Yeah, but he can't change the name because everyone knows him as the Flying Pie Man,
so he can't. Okay, yeah. Could you be the artist formerly known as the Flying Pie Man?
He's just a symbol now, just a pie. He's a symbol for pie.
It's a play on man. Perfect. That's the best. In October 1842, the Sidney Herald reported that the flying pie man walked from the Obelisk in Macquarie Place to Ireland's public house and back
while carrying six stone.
84 pounds for those, I don't know what it is
in your weird shit, but in England it's stone
and here in America there it's 84 pounds.
You guys can figure it out.
He's got a fucking crazy good publicist.
He's constantly in the paper for doing
kind of fuck all.
Like it's amazing.
Yeah.
I think once they're-
And that is a good point actually.
Yeah.
This is getting reported on a lot.
Yes.
Dumb stuff he's doing with his mates.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's in the paper and then there's some guys
sitting in a pub and they're like,
why don't we have him do this?
And then they do it and they get money together
and he fucking does it.
Today he would have 2.2 million Instagram followers.
Yes.
Yes.
This would still work.
This really is, that's all it is, right?
Yeah.
And I'd watch it.
I'd be like, get that volume on.
Yeah.
So he did that in three hours and 20 minutes.
Quote, Mr. Pieman, Mr. Pieman.
Mr. Pieman, have some respect.
To Pieman.
Mr.. Pime Mr.. Pime is have some respect
Simon
Mr.. Pime and chose live weight and strapped a boy on his back making
What what just happened?
Wow police reports This is why he wasn't getting upset about the girl in the back because he knew where it was going
You boy how much do you weigh? Get on.
I have a family.
Six stone, sir?
Get on my back.
Excuse me, oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize
it was Mr. Pieman.
Do whatever.
Can I have a hot dog made from cat dicks?
Oh good.
Yeah, but then that kid was probably like,
everyone at school was just like,
holy shit, the pie man carried you for three hours?
Like he was the hit of the school.
Okay. Yeah.
Do you think that would make you cool at school?
It's cool. It's super cool.
Really?
Carried for three hours by the neighborhood weed?
Imagine the conversation
by the artist formerly known as pie.
Like, hour two, you'd be like, are we close?
Almost.
Won't be too much fun.
Thanks again for saying that.
I have to go to the bathroom.
Just go.
Let it rip.
I've been going.
I've gone a bunch.
So what do you want to be when you grow up?
Not you.
You can't be me.
There's only one of me.
Yeah.
Yeah, I used to make pies before you were born.
Okay.
All right.
We don't have to talk.
It would help the time go by a little bit faster, but if you want to be a little shit
about it, you can be a little shit about it.
That's right.
I didn't want to do this.
Well, you said yes.
When we were there, you said yes yes I just didn't say how long it
would take because I didn't know. No it's taking longer than I thought it would
but no if you would rather silence that's fine. I mean shit I'm the only
adult here you know so. Yeah my dad said you didn't run to Parramatta with the
pies. Well well your dad's full of shit and he didn't stop me putting you on my
back for almost three hours now did he? And And I did, by the way. Yeah, and I can run real fast.
My wife, uh, to be.
One time I put her on a boat in a box and the boat took off and I went and got her.
Sure did. Yeah, I got her right off there. Sure did. And then we're happily married.
Can you put me-
And I have a- hold on, I'm not done. And I have a- hold on! I'm scared. The adult sure did and then we're happily married and you put and I have a whole lot
I'm not done and I have it hold on. Just care adult is not done
We're getting closer shut the fuck up because we're getting pretty close
And then and I took her off and she was so
Thankful that I was able to get to the ship that fast and now we have a home
That's normal and we live together there and we have two kids
Box and living.
My two boys, they're twins.
They remind me a little bit of you.
They're not as whiny and shitty.
They don't pipe up so fucking much.
They don't keep asking stupid questions
that boys shouldn't.
When an adult puts a boy on his back,
the boy doesn't ask any questions.
And this ain't gonna take a weird dark turn.
Like I said, I'm a happily married man.
I don't need to date.
I don't need to.
Why are you crying?
I'm not crying.
I'm not crying.
There's some blood coming out of one of my temples.
Because I'm thinking so much.
I'm remembering so hard that blood,
one of my blood vessels popped a little.
You're getting mad.
I am pissed.
I will be honest, I am mad at you.
I don't like your attitude.
You've been a bad little boy. But I am gonna get you all the way there because I love missions
I don't want to go there. Well shut the food. That is not a fucking option right now
There are two options either I put you in a box on a ship and you never see life again
Or we get to where we're going and by the way, that would be the first time I took a life in a box on a ship
the first time I took a life in a box on a ship. You just shut the fuck up and we get to where we're going.
Nobody wants to be here right now.
My wife's probably worried sick about me.
God knows we care for each other that much, and we have every moment of our relations,
of our relations, of our relas—of the time we've been together. So he strapped the boy to his back, he made up the weight, was shot, he won his wager
having some minutes to spare when he came in and having gone somewhat more than the
required distance.
That's nice.
In 18, I wish they never said how much he made in the way.
But he's making a living.
Sure.
It's a living.
In 1844, the Flying Pyman was arrested.
By an-
You ain't flying.
By an apparently overzealous inspector who accused him of creating a row in the streets.
A row, yeah.
So this is one of the only recorded examples of a speech that he gave
When he addressed the judge in court. Oh my god when the pipe flying pymons like that. I speak to the court. Yeah
I stand before your worship this day not to justify myself
But to protest against the outrage
committed on a British subject,
a gross indignity inflicted on a pie man.
Yesterday morning.
Not a pie man anymore.
Yeah, by the way.
You're not a fucking pie man, man.
No, he's a challenge guy.
You're like, you're literally a challenge dude. Yeah. You're a prankster. You're not a fuckin' pie man, man. Now he's a challenge guy. You're like, you're literally a challenge dude. Yeah.
You're a prankster.
You're not a-
Yesterday morning, I sold my pies and rolls at 10 o'clock
and I started to walk a match against time.
Your worship, I appeal with a sense of pride to this cap
which I hold in my hand,
the badge of the championship of pedestrianism
in New South Wales.
Need I say that when it was known
that the sporting, walking, flying pie man
was going to walk a match,
that intense anxiety prevailed throughout the city. When I returned in triumph, when
your worship returned I not in triumph, I was hailed by the barrowmen at the market
with congratulations at my success.
Yeah, you know, it's the vibe, it's Marlbo, it's the constitution.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh.
Napoleon shook hands with his soldiers.
Oh, is he still going?
And the flying pie man thought it not beneath him to converse with the barrel man.
What?
What?
He was giving pies to Napoleon.
This is the man you had your faith and trust in him running this event?
What is going on? No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh shit.
I was already speeding on my business when I was interrupted and
arrested by this man for shouting.
I mean, you are loud. Yeah, it's crazy. and arrested by this man for shouting.
I mean, you are loud. You're, you, well, it's crazy.
Oh, the flying pie man.
Sir.
Who for years has floated on the breath
of popular opinion.
Is this the new Kendrick district?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha an hour and three minutes. Didn't happen. Thrown into a watch house, you worship,
I am a pie man.
Sit down.
I glory in my calling.
Jesus Christ.
I call my pies as a pie man ought.
What?
And have a right to do.
I thought you stopped making pies.
So you're fucking prankster.
Tell me what pie man is so base
as to not call his pies?
What?
What's he calling his pies?
I don't know.
Why so mean as not to shout, all hot?
What?
Your worship. Antiquity pie. as not to shout, all heart!
What? Your worship.
Antiquity proclaims a pie man to be an honorable profession.
You know what the worst thing is,
he's still got a kid strapped to him.
All the way through this.
This is my boy lawyer.
Oh, we gotta show. Your worship! This is my boy lawyer.
We got a show.
Your Worship!
I have been treated unjustly as a man that I could forgive, but the blot upon my profession must be effaced,
and well will become the dignity of your honorable bench
to support in its unsullied purity
the as yet unblemished vocation
of the Pie Man!
Wow.
Wow. Wow.
Wow.
Your Honor, Your Worship, what the actual fuck, right? I mean, we rest.
That was crazy.
Put a boy on my fucking back!
Now he makes a... did he make a point?
He makes good points.
Okay.
He's just saying I couldn't listen to his points
because I was so captivated by your performance.
Yeah, it was good.
Your pie formants.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Al Pacino.
Well, I studied Shakespeare, so.
Man, that was amazing.
Do you still act?
Yeah.
You really should. You really should.
You really should?
That is great.
Do another one.
Instead, yeah.
Do one more.
Instead of Scarface, you could do Pieface.
Yeah.
Well, people, as expected, people in the court cheered and the judge dismissed the case.
Yay!
Of course they did!
Yes!
It made sense!
No choice.
The judge was just like, I don't even know what you've said, but get the fuck out of
here, piman!
We can't persecute a piman!
I'm glad we took it all the way to the pie court. Yeah. I appreciate the people who came with me on that journey.
You gotta know.
I can't look you in the eye.
I'm embarrassed for what I've done.
It's okay.
We're all working on our dumb ones.
I haven't dropped my upper crust one yet.
It'll come later.
My verdict is you're delicious.
Court's back in session.
Not sure what just happened, but we,
that was crazy and cool.
So the pie man went back to his walking feats
around Paramount in Sydney.
His walking feats, eh? GEE MARK PIEMAN! We're at the point of the show and Dave
believes he's pie man. LIKE CESAR! I would honestly love if you had an alter ego of the pie man.
How amazing would it be if like two days from now we're like, you realize that the character
doesn't exist anywhere online?
I think Dave just made up fan fiction for himself.
This could be the whole Dolem.
That's the big Sean Noel ad.
I got to talk to him like, hey man, a lot of people are saying, no it is real.
They didn't read the book I wrote about it. In November 1844, he was challenged to watch 60 miles a day for six consecutive days, or
360 miles in 72 hours for a wager of 30 pounds.
What the fuck?
This, now it's, I'm with, this is not happening.
Come on. In Easter 1845, he picked up slippery peach stones while walking on stilts.
Okay, I don't even know what you're saying there.
He was picking up slippery peach stones.
So the peach stones.
Out of the peach stones.
Yeah.
He was picking them up while he was on stilts.
While he's on stilts, he's picking them up.
So he's bending over and picking them up. Well, he must be leaning he was on stilts. While he's on stilts, he's picking them up. So he's bending over and picking them up.
Well, he must be leaning down between the stilts.
You know what stilts are is my follow-up question.
They don't have to be that high.
They could be low stilts.
OK.
Well, then what's the fucking point?
I went to Stiltz College.
A man on one bucket.
You went to where?
Stiltz College in Florida.
Yeah.
In Florida, the story checks out.
Oh, we had him for a minute, then he said Florida.
At this point, the Pie Man was such a part of Sydney
that when an artist painted a picture of the new post office,
he included the Pie Man.
Oh.
Whoops.
Oh.
There he is.
Oh, what was the woman again?
That's me.
I drew all the red so you'd see where he is.
See, he's down there in the corner in a striped shirt
and really tight pants.
Your artwork's from coming along.
Yeah, Dave, I didn't know you did a far stike
when it comes to highlighting.
Yeah, wow.
Like, honestly, something they would find
in a serial killer's basement after an assassination attempt.
There's a pin there, there's red scrunchie there.
Freshly developed.
Yeah.
Just the only...
And I'm going to get shit for this.
How long did you have to highlight this?
Four seconds?
It took me like nine hours.
The Maitland Mercury, quote, he undertook on one occasion to carry a dog weighing upwards
of 70 pounds from Campbelltown to Sydney between the hours of half past 12 at night and 20 minutes to 9 the next morning.
I mean it's really just, I just, guys getting drunk in a pub making shit up and then he does it.
But that is the worst time to arrive in Sydney too because that's peak hour.
Yeah, it's a disaster. Morning traffic right?
Carrying a 70 pound dog.
He accomplished it.
Just imagine that for a second from the dog's mistake.
Shut up.
I mean shut the fuck up.
There's no way the dog is down with that.
No.
No fucking way.
Nobody is saying that to the dog is down with that
Like I get it missions are important dog was like boy that was a lot of rum they put in a dog
I'm just a dog
Mean the amount of times he must have been like I should probably just start making pies again This is what is this if only I got into that ship
What was I doing one more drink I said the dog was a boxer which was on the nose
He accomplished
Accomplished it 20 minutes within the given time.
He really cuts it close.
I mean, sometimes too close.
He was back carrying a live goat weighing 92 pounds with 12 pounds dead weight besides
from the old Talbot Inn on Brickfield Hill to Mr. Nash's at
Parramatta two kilometers in seven hours which he performed with 12 minutes to
spare. You know what I love about that one is that the 92 pound goat was not
enough for the bet. Yeah. And they're like nah 12 pounds of miscellaneous shit as well.
He's really heavy he's like almost a hundred pounds like almost 100 pounds. Nah. Nah. We're gonna put potatoes in your pocket.
What?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You work for us.
Oh, fuck.
Had a thriving pie business for a while.
Put a potato up your arm.
Fuck you, you idiot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the goat's just like, there's a lot of rum.
In September 1845, a letter appeared in Bell's Life in Sydney in Sporting Review.
Challenge!
Mr. John Levy Roberts is now open to back the pedestrian champion of New South Wales.
The sporting walking flying pie man to walk a match
against time on the Sydney cricketing race course,
distance 192 miles, to be walked in 48 succeeding hours
and no standing still during the time.
To take his meals from a tray whilst walking, any parties doubting the pie man's capability
to accomplish this wonderful undertaking are invited to post any amount of rowdy they please
at the Talbot Inn, George Street, Sydney. Where it will be covered, and the larger the stake,
the more hearty will be the thanks
of the noble, thorough-bred piman.
The thorough-bred piman?
Yeah, now he's a horse.
What the fuck are they talking?
It's getting very strange.
The piman is...
No, don't.
You have a weird affinity.
You've had a weird affinity for the pie man from the beginning.
Halfway through, you became him.
And now you're like, don't try to figure out the mysterious ways of the pie man.
You've been on the defensive about his lies right from the start.
Yeah, you really have.
If this doesn't end with you pulling off your mask and you've been the pie man the whole
time, I'm going to be devastated.
Like Genghis Khan!
Why him, of all people?
Is it Napoleon?
Yeah, Napoleon Genghis Khan, he doesn't pick great people.
The same newspaper a few days later carried response.
To the editor, dear sir, will you oblige me by stating
that I never authorized the flying pie man
or any other person to make use of my name
in any betting transaction.
Yours, Obedient, JL Roberts.
So, people think the pie man was now putting challenges out.
Challenges to himself.
Trying to get people to bet on it,
and then he would, yeah.
He would.
And he was using, like, you know.
So he is fully out of, I mean, he's out of control.
Yeah, he's completely out, he's pied out.
So is anyone challenging him, or has he just out of control. Yeah, he's completely out, he's pied out. So is anyone challenging him,
or has he just been challenging himself?
No, people are challenging him,
but sometimes he, to drum up a little business, I think,
he puts an ad in the paper.
It's all very normal.
And you still feel okay about this guy?
Love this guy.
Okay.
Oh, sorry, I like success.
Apologies.
Uh-huh.
It's very Trumpy, what he's doing.
He's eating stories in the press about himself.
Don't talk about our next president like that.
He means the pie man.
You're getting Dutton.
This was probably the pie man was using respectable people's names to get publicity.
In 1846, he got tired of Sydney's names to get publicity in 1846.
He got tired of Sydney and decided to take his show on tour.
Oh, you're coming.
He went to the Hunter Valley in August where he was challenged to pick up 100 cobs of corn.
This is, it also shows you at the time how little there was.
There was just like, they couldn't challenge you.
You were like, walk with a goat and a dog, pick up corn, good, try to put a bunch of
apples in your hands.
Fuck, we need more stuff.
I feel like this one is just like crossed over the line from like a fun challenge to
just like a job.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. P picking up a hundred cobs of corn
and then getting money at the end is just a job.
It is bad.
Your job is picking up corn.
It's bad.
Now dust that corner.
How about you lay there for two hours?
All right.
Yeah.
This was, so he goes to a hundred,
he gets the challenge to pick up a hundred cobs of corn, laid one
yard apart from each other in 55 minutes, and he accomplished it in 53 minutes.
53?
It does not seem hard.
I feel like I could do-
He took 30 minutes off.
I'm going to do that one tomorrow.
Yeah.
Where you went to high school.
Fuck it.
Yes.
Yeah, but it actually doesn't sound that hard.
So, he, in Mayllind he tries his biggest,
okay, so he gets his biggest challenge yet,
and it's the same one that J.L. Roberts challenged him.
Walk 192 miles in 48 consecutive hours,
never to stop walking for a single minute.
Three men watched him, and they would take turns,
one walking behind him, one trimming the fire,
and keeping tally, so I think one guy is keeping
a little torch going or something.
They can see that he's moving at all times
and count the laps, right?
I thought they added an element to it,
like in a burning field.
Yeah.
We want you to die, Paimon.
Yeah.
So they would...
In this game, fire represents life.
Come out with a survivor style.
And then while those guys would switch off without one guy would sleep.
The local paper quote, at three o'clock yesterday afternoon, he had
accomplished 102 miles and although then looking jaded and slightly lame, he freshened up again
after sundown and expressed his confidence in his power to win. But-
Win is such a weird term for this.
Yeah.
It's a win. It's a win.
No, it isn't.
It's a fucking win. No. It's a win. It's a win. No it isn't. It's a fucking win. Oh. It's a
victory baby. I am awesome. But William did not make it. He died? He failed. Oh. He tried again.
So you're telling me that in the one time people were watching to see what he did. He did something. What he did. Yeah. He not only discovered that he was lame.
One example that we have in this entire story of his story
being verified, he failed to do the thing that he said
he was going to do.
I rest my case, Your Honor.
Are you sure you guys want to come along?
That's really remarkable.
Your hero.
I mean, the amount of pitching he was doing against them watching.
I don't do as well when people watch.
If you could just.
You can have a sleep if you want.
What about three in a nap?
He tried again two weeks later.
Rumor spread that he was going to pull out, so after some heckling by the public, he started
earlier than planned.
He managed 66.5 miles in the first 12 hours.
He had a tray brought out for him to have breakfast,
and he drank several cups of tea, quote,
supplied by a man who accompanied him
around with a teapot.
That's an amazing job.
Yeah.
A huge crowd gathered at the end to watch him complete the course.
The sentinel quote,
The last round was a most extraordinary one.
Unbelievable.
As he passed, the band joined in behind him with banner bearers and timekeepers.
The procession indeed became a triumphant one.
However, King stepped out about six miles an hour, making most of his admirers run,
the band dropping behind until they had to cease playing.
Wait, what just happened?
When they all got in behind him, he started running.
He started running really fast.
Oh, okay.
Right.
It sounds very much like the beginning of the Austin Powers movies.
And then as he's playing a run after their man, at last, on passing the distance post,
he stepped out and did the remainder of the space to the winning post at the rate of about
eight miles an hour. He completed the distance at half past four o'clock
on Thursday evening, thus taking 46 hours and a half
and walking 192 miles, which was 260 times around the course.
For one of those rounds Tuesday afternoon,
he carried a child.
Amazing.
From conception to birth.
Yeah.
Right there.
It's amazing.
Forty six hours.
That's the part.
At one point there must have been a kid like Carrie V and he picked him up for a...
It's good.
Okay.
I do like Will's version a little bit more.
Even after all that he still had the energy to regale the crowd with speeches.
They've already had a good time.
Like Churchill!
He wasn't around yet.
The next day he went out again to entertain his fans riding on a small carriage covered
in streamers to give a speech at the race course. He stayed in Maitland for several months living at
the Fitzroy Hotel. He quote, walked a thousand quarter miles in a thousand
quarter hours. A thousand quarter miles? Is this like Alice in Wonderland? Yeah. A thousand
quarter miles in a thousand quarter hours at the back of the hotel. So he
just like walked back and forth.
Right.
I mean, that would be like, that's what like a lab rat does.
That's like total insanity from you.
On the night.
Every day's a competition.
Look, dude, I know you didn't get to your wife's ship in time.
What are you doing right now?
Have you thought of therapy?
Ha ha ha ha.
There ha ha ha.
Mm. On the ninth day, quote, he had himself Have you thought of therapy?
On the ninth day quote he had himself horse whipped to spur him on
Walking a thousand quarter miles he's been horse with or he's having himself
Someone horse to horse with him to motivate him right And when he completed the task, he wagered 50 pounds to 40 pounds to repeat the task starting
that very night, but he had no takers.
Yeah, everyone was like, I'm going to sleep.
Yeah, people were like, you know what, man?
You've proved enough.
Yeah.
No.
I got to be honest.
So, man, you should stop now.
Just let it.
Do it again, and I'll jack off while you do it.
I bet you I can.
I bet you I'm way into it.
I got to be honest. I bet you I'll pay anyone
to do it in my room. I bet you I'd hire someone to do it full time.
So look man, these challenges are getting cuckoo. It's weird. Yeah. Cuckoo me and I'll
jack off. People are worried about you. Her ship left so much earlier than expected. What? Yeah, no, nobody told me and I was on time.
That man owes me.
A number of people had lost money betting against the pimon, so they came up with what
they thought would be a genuinely impossible task.
The flying pimon.
Filled with your trauma.
What?
In 92 hours.
Carry a goat and fucking figure out
what's going on inside of you.
Impossible.
The flying piman had to do the following things
in 90 minutes.
Run a mile, walk a mile, wheel a barrel half a mile, draw a young lady in a gig half a mile walk a mile wheel a barrel half a mile draw a
young lady in a gig half a mile what like I white hey what's not draw or not
like painter like that's when they have the like a small cart that's just like
basically a seat attached to a horse right and yes but he would be the horse
he's the horse yeah okay's allowed to do that? Yeah, he's the horse. Yeah, OK. And she's in the cart.
Yeah.
Walk backwards half a mile, pick up 50 stones a yard apart,
and then make 50 leaps.
Make 50 leaps?
Like, are we thinking like a star jump style leap?
Or like a, I don't know, something?
Or like a, what are the leaps?
I bet it's just a, I don't know.
Like a, like a, standing leap or a running leap, I don't know.
Yeah.
All right, just jump.
Before you jumped.
Of course, yeah, it's Van Halen style.
He's obviously up for it.
Of course. Of course.
Totally insane.
He ran his mile in three minutes, 37 seconds,
walked another in three minutes, 47 seconds,
and wheeled his barrow half a mile in three minutes, 57 seconds.
Trouble came when he had to take the young lady around
in the gig.
The harness had not been properly adjusted for a man.
Uh-huh.
Oh, yeah.
A harness?
Yeah.
But he managed it along with the 50 leaps,
despite complaining they had been made too high.
He completed the weird medley in less than an hour.
So he was doing the leaps while drawing the carriage?
No, no, once he finished the carriage,
then he did the leaps.
He ran a mile in under four minutes,
and then he walked a mile in under four.
Because it's like fast walking,
like it's pretty close to the same thing.
Dave, under a four minute mile of fast walking?
I could do that.
You could do that? I can do that you could
do that ladies and gentlemen is there track of the ice you've listed a whole
bunch of things you think you can do yeah tomorrow you're gonna take us all
to a park there will be yourself as the pie man yeah I'm not like nacho libre
tomorrow in a field in Adelaide carrying goats
covered entire field with peas yeah it's gonna be a pie floater in the middle of
Adelaide you don't get it but yeah I get Oh, I get it. Us, we get it. Yeah.
I can't wait to do this shit tomorrow.
Look at how lost he is.
He's like, hey, wait, what does that mean? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha No, there. Where? Bunnings. We seriously moved on from that.
I told you my favorite thing is that I go in there and I...
What's your favorite thing to get?
Everything that I need.
You can get that, Dick.
It's true.
It is actually...
Are you going to pee?
I mean, because I'm not trying to put them in, but it's starting to get a little ridiculous. You can get that bit. Yeah. It's sorry. It is actually...
Are you going to pee?
I mean, because I'm not trying to put them in, but it's starting to get a little ridiculous.
Yeah.
I'm just wondering.
I'm answering the question.
I'm genuinely curious.
I'm genuinely answering.
Can we get back to the fucking...
It's a great shop.
After Christmas, he moved to Dungog?
Dungog?
Yep.
Yep. Yep. In time for the New Year's Day
races he was greeted as a celebrity and immediately given bizarre shit to do.
Okay. He must have been in heaven. You think he kind of turns up and thinks I might sit this one down
and then it's like fuck it's the pie man. Yeah. Walk the race course in nine minutes
16 seconds he collected 55 stones placed every yard one at a time,
placing them in a large tin basin.
He took 62 leaps 10 yards apart.
Leaps are my favorite.
Yeah.
The leaps are great.
The story's got a lot of them.
Then it started to rain, but he still gave a speech.
He stayed there for two months continuing
to perform athletic feats people dared him to do. Oh boy. The last one was to walk 500 miles in 500.
Then to walk 500 more? Just to be the man who'd walk 1,000 quarter miles. Only to watch you die from the shore.
Ba da ba da ba ba.
Ba da ba ba.
Ba da ba ba.
Ba da ba ba.
Ba da rum da da rum.
Da da rum da da rum.
Ba da ba ba.
When I wake up, and I did on time, I swear.
Well I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who remembers you in a box on a ship.
Shutter upper.
And when the money runs out for the goat I raced.
Shutter upper.
That's the goat.
Badabatmack.
Strat to your back.
Next to the kid.
So the last challenge was to walk 500 miles in 500 consecutive half hours.
So that's 10 and a half days for a wager of 20 pounds.
So people are just like fucking with him now
because it's not that much money.
They're doing like bridge troll riddles on him now.
Yeah.
What do you want numbers-wise?
It's like a quarter of a mile every quarter of an hour
for the next quarter of a day for the next quarter week.
With a goat!
That's the clearest part of your weird order.
The Maitland Mercury quote,
on the fourth day he seemed much fatigued
and it was thought impossible for him to continue
to walk two hours longer.
Still, this morning he is brisk as a bee.
He went 10.5 days without sleep and won the bet.
That I don't believe.
I don't think you can survive.
Shut up, you're not allowed to start not believing stuff.
Yeah.
Stay in your lane, mate.
Stay in your lane.
Stay in your lane.
You made your bed.
The Mercury quote.
Now you have to pion it.
The Mercury quote, his walk is believed to have exceeded the required distance and he continued walking for several hours after the stipulated period.
That's like, that's fucking crazy. He's a madman. That's a problem. Yeah. After a few
more stops through regional New South Wales, William made his way to Queensland, arriving in Brisbane in late August.
On September 12th, he raced the Brisbane
to Ipswich Mail Coach, which was pulled by horses.
So he raced that.
The piman was on foot and carrying a 100 pound pole.
He beat the coach by an hour.
A reporter from Ipswich, who was clearly a huge
pie man fan, wrote, quote,
the dull monotony of our town was today filled
with, was a little enlivened by the arrival
of W.F. King, the celebrated ladies walking,
flying, jumping, running, et cetera pie man.
Can't believe they left out leaping.
What was the ladies part in there?
I think that the ladies love him is what he said.
He's a bad boy.
That's why.
He's a bad boy.
He just steals goats and runs with them.
He's got nothing going on.
This extraordinary character has come to this district for the purpose of exhibiting a few of his wonderful feats
The reporter said that after his Queensland visit Williams intention was to return to Maitland in order to quote perform
the almost superhuman feat of walking 2,000 miles in
1,000 hours after which if he survived it
He would settle down a domesticated character should he be so fortunate as to meet a damsel duly qualified to enable him to have an heir
To perpetuate the memory of the pedestrian champion of the world
What you know so basically he needs a wife that's gonna be up for mangled feet by the end of that
Did someone?
Someone he was like well, what's the wager?
Someone was like, if you do it, you just stop.
Sounds good.
Go have a normal life.
Yes, Luke will give you a woman.
Stop running, and what, I carry her like up a mountain?
No, no.
And then she's the
pi lady no I'm losing the bed a little bit here we marry her okay and then what
and that's it and that's it okay and then we live on a hill and we fly down
like you just live I carry her everywhere I go she lives on my shoulders
no no you walk hand-in-hand the street. I barbecue her an eater.
I'm just kind of losing where the fun is settling down because the last time a woman put her life in my... For your wedding, she will be in a box and we will take her out. She will walk down the aisle. I don't know. You talk about a pied?
Thinking of pied?
When you combine bride and pie. I get a very special word.
Well, a confusing word.
Nope, special.
Throughout the early 1850s,
Wynn continued to travel around the colonies
performing feats for money, but he was never paid that much
And often now had to ask for donations to get new shoes
Jesus how old is he I mean when he took the 50s so
Well, when was he born he was born in?
1807 so he's not that old, but for then, he's probably pretty fucking old.
See, he has like 40 something.
Feels like we're losing him.
By 1855, he was back in Sydney.
He had not been there for years,
but the Illustrated Sydney News wrote
that he was back to perform Morphetes.
Quote, we understand that on Monday,
he will perform an extraordinary task
of picking up 100 live cats placed one yard apart
All right, I'm back. Yeah, this is I mean just the fact of a hundred live cats in any one place
It's already fucking great. Yeah, and now old mates gonna spend the day trying to pick them all up
This is great. At once?
Yeah, at once is the best.
On top of each other, that's the best.
He's gonna hold a hundred cats. How don't know if he's gonna hold a hundred cats.
How are they getting the rum in the cats?
Maybe he picks the cat up and then hands it to someone.
Well that's not a big feat.
He's gotta be carrying on.
Well you try to pick up a couple of cats.
I've tried to pick up a couple of cats.
I reckon he's gotta pick up minimum,
the rule should be two at a time
before he can hand one off, right?
He should always have to have one cat in the head.
Yes.
All right, look, the feet is either incredible,
which is that he's got 100 cats on him,
or the feet is nothing, which is that he's picking up
a cat and handing it to someone else.
No, but originally there's 100 cats.
You will see how fucking amazing it is.
I want to see a man covered in cats.
Yeah.
I want to see someone and be like, is that cat?
Is that cat squash?
And be like, no.
That man picked up 100 cats.
100 cats.
Just getting them on his legs.
And I would see it and I'd be like, that man's in heaven.
100 live rats also.
And also the same number of live mice at the same distance.
We anticipated a crowded assemblage
to witness such a curiosity.
Tragically, there is no record of whether or not
the stunt happened or if he did it.
It was obviously a disaster, mate.
The cats ate the mice on the morning of did it. It was obviously a disaster, mate.
The cats ate the mice in the morning of the event.
It was a catastrophe.
It was poor planning on our part.
The rats ate the mice and the cats ate the rats.
So we ended up just picking up one huge cat.
Which we made into a pie and ate that. But things are now starting
to unravel for the piman. No, no, mate. This is not when things started to unravel.
It's written right here. Oh yeah, this is where things, and then things took a turn for the worse.
Believe it or not, his apex was crumbling.
This whole story's the Danu Mall.
There's no...
Like, I think the pies, since the pies went away,
like, do you know what I mean?
Agreed.
But since he said, bye bye, Australian pie,
I really feel...
Hey!
So the pie man was arrested and in jail for a month, but there's no record of the charge
When he got out the cops gave him a bill for 31 days bored and lodging
That's like being an American now, they're doing that in Florida. Oh great. Yeah
That's like being in America now. They're doing that in Florida.
It's great, yeah.
People were now over his feet.
So now they're all Will Andersons.
The world news, quote,
when the novelty had worn out,
the gamblers dropped the piman.
He drifted from town to town,
excitedly telling everyone what he had done
and what he could still do,
but no one listened.
Jesus.
This is every road comics nightmare.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is inside of me when I'm at a Holiday Inn
on a one nighter.
This is in there.
Yeah.
Did you have a good time?
Did the jokes make you good?
Yeah, but you also know that he's in the corner of a bar going, you know, I can't do feats anymore because I'm woke, you know. Whatever happened to the larrikin, there was a time where you could run with a goat and people liked that.
You can't do that anymore.
Let me tell you, you used to be able to pick up a boy and take him on a three day march and the parents wouldn't get mad at you. You can't do that now, woke.
Cancel culture came for me more than anyone.
All right, pie guy.
Can't put a woman in a box, let alone on a boat.
All right, pie man.
What?
Times are different.
You should listen to my podcast.
Super dark. So it turns out this wasn't a viable long-term profession.
By 1870, William's body was pretty broken down,
he was living on the streets.
A journalist for the Sportsman recalled, quote,
on returning to Sydney in 1870,
one of the first curious sights I saw
was the decrepit figure of William King,
the champion athlete of his day,
and perhaps the most extraordinary pedestrian
that ever ran or walked in Australia.
I saw him at the corner of King and Pitt Streets,
where in his hot pie days,
he stood with his can and sold pies.
He had the appearance of being dropsicle.
Dropsicle?
Affected by dropsy, which causes your body to swell up.
Oh.
That's a dropsy person.
William was now too poor to support himself,
and he was admitted to the Liverpool Asylum,
which was an overcrowded home for old destitute men.
Really? Yeah, you fuck me. Yep, there's our future. Oh. which was an overcrowded home for old destitute men.
Oh, you fuck me. Yep, there's our future.
Oh, that's where we'll all end up.
Oh, fuck.
No one there seemed to know who he was.
His occupation was listed as Sawyer,
which is someone who saw his timber.
He died there on the 10th of August, 1873,
and was buried in a pauper's grave.
But the pie man lives on.
Many of his records still stand.
Because they're not real events.
Yeah.
I can't just say, because no one else ever did it again,
I've still got the record for this thing
that nobody wants to do.
You think you can pick up 100 pieces of corn?
Yeah. You think you can pick up 100 pieces of corn? Yeah.
You think you can juggle 95 mice?
Like, no one else wants to do it.
Like, it's your record, mate.
Whatever.
I do.
Dave is talking about, like, a Hall of Fame corner.
Yeah, yeah.
The record's still there.
Yeah, he's one of the greats.
He's one of the greats.
That's why he's in the High Hall of Fame, to be honest.
He's one of the best. One of the greats. One of the greats. In's in, that's why he's in the high hall of fame. It'd be hard, but he's one of the best.
One of the greats.
One of the greats.
In 1970.
One of the great what's?
One of the great Australian athletes.
What are you talking about?
You come here to fucking South Australia,
where fucking Don Bradman lived,
and you talk the greatest athlete of all time.
Same thing. Same guy, same thing.
Same thing.
Same thing.
He doesn't know what he's saying.
Professional athletes.
You have to explain that along with Bunnings to him.
We got a lot to, we got a lot of explaining to you backstage.
In 1976, there was a musical written about him
by Alex Hood intended for ABC radio, but
children were encouraged to put it on at their schools.
What do you mean, but children were?
I don't know, just put but in there.
It was made for ABC, but then they were like, you guys should do the Pie Man play at school.
Wow.
Oh, man.
I say this is like Dullup the musical. Yeah. Now we're talking. That's cool. Oh man. I say this is like Dull Up the Musical.
Yeah.
Now we're talking.
That's it.
That's the...
Kids were encouraged.
That's the first time you needed ABC cuts.
Right there.
I mean, I wish I hadn't laughed at that.
Yeah.
Sources, Stephen Williams, Australian Historical Monograph Series number one, the Flying Paimon,
a ton of old newspaper articles, Australian Geographic, the World News, Sydney Morning
Herald, the Port Phillip Gazette, the Australasian Chronicle, Sydney Morning Herald, Paramount
Chronicle, the Dispatch, The Australian, The Working Man's Guardian,
Bell's Life in Sydney and Sporting Review,
The Maitland Mercury, and Hunter River General Advertiser
and The Sentinel.
You know what I'm hearing?
A lot more diversity in the media back then.
Yeah, wow.
That was a lot going on, wasn't it?
That's the message, yeah.
Wow, what the fuck?
Wow.
Well, I mean, you know,
this is our last dollop and I thought it should be about one of the,
just a great story.
What are you?
Wow.
The great man.
This is the saddest I've ever seen him.
Did you accidentally book one more show
than you'd prepared for?
Like, what is going on with you?
Like, is this the whole story?
This guy who might have walked fast twice in his whole life
and did some leaking.
And that one had counted.
This guy who literally put his wife in a box.
Like, we kind of overlooked, like,
because we're like, oh, it's sad that she, like,
was in the box, like, on the boat.
But like, even the idea of putting her in the box
in the first place, this was a bad dude, Dave.
You shouldn't be, like, I don't think we should be,
like, regardless of how good he was
in his made-up no one else competing at them sports,
like, I think his record as a human being,
I don't think we can recover from him being the guy
who shipped his wife off in a box.
Killed his wife. Killed his wife.
Yes!
Killed his wife.
Yeah.
By boat box.
That was very, that was very common back then.
It was not!
No!
You put a, if you're going to take a trip, you put your lady in a box.
You didn't?
No, you didn't.
You don't.
No!
That was not a thing.
It was.
And then...
Dave.
Yeah.
It's like picking up a hundred. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave.
It's like picking up a hundred cats was.
What?
Or walking a quarter.
Dave, did you make this one up?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like you've made this one up.
I didn't, it's really there.
I mean, there's a play that children put on.
The children don't put on.
No.
Show me one bit of evidence. Never had a kid say it. That children never fucking put on. Show me one bit of evidence.
Never had a kid say it.
The children never fucking put on the musical.
We grew up here.
Pie musical.
We've never heard of it.
The kids.
High school musical.
Every night.
You're a little, when your 10 year old comes home
and he's like, mama, I've been chosen to be the pie man.
Mate, if our 10 year old comes home,
we're both going to be going, who the fuck is that?
Pick him up and walk him.
Yeah, put him on my back, go for a run.
It's really like we should start
like doing a GoFundMe to get a statue.
You should start doing a GoFundMe to get like
the dollop stories that are about people
of historical significance.
Just some random weirdo that people threw coins at for tricks.
He made money.
Like, this is not a dollar.
This is like a story of a busker.
I don't think it's right for some rich TV star.
He's not a historical...
I don't think it's right for some rich TV star to make fun of a laborer.
Oh.
Oh, god.
Always bringing it back to the proletariat.
He was in show business.
He still heard from the VIP thing earlier.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Very important pause.
Yeah.
Oh, good.
VIPies.
Give it up for Justin Hamilton and Will Anderson, fantastic guests.
Thank you guys for coming out, appreciate it.
Thank you.
Enjoy the rest of your pint.
Thank you.
So I travel a lot, I mean a lot, perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right?
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So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring
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