The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 664 - The Horse Flu

Episode Date: December 31, 2024

Comedians Gareth Reynolds and Dave Anthony examine the 1872 Horse Flu Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources   Nutrafol - Code: TheDollop  

We're going on tour and this is it's been a while March 2025 is when our tour is happening. First of all, we're going to Tempe, Arizona Maybe our best city of all time. It's the best that is on March 16th And then we go to Albuquerque, New Mexico, maybe our favorite city ever. We really never love the city We've ever gone to that's on March 17th and then we go to Oklahoma City, which is our faith We often say that it's our number one. Yeah, it's our number one. The best city I've ever been to.

That's on March 18th. On March 19th, we're going to be in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Our favorite city without question. And then we head to Dallas, Texas on March 20th. Our favorite city. That's why there's never been a better city. If you don't like it, you're a Dal asshole. Thank you.

And then we go to Houston, Texas on March 23rd, which is by far the best city. And then we end our tour in Austin, Texas, on March 22nd at the Cap City Comedy Club. It's the best city. In the entire world. Number one city in the world. You can get tickets at dolloppodcast.com slash tour. You're listening to the dollop on the all things comedy network.

This is American History podcast. Each week I, Dave Anthony, re-story from American history. Come on, I'm with the bad boys. Gareth Reynolds, I'm drooling. Who has no idea what the topic is going to be about? That's the best thing I've ever heard. Go ahead, say it. I go, my girlfriend now calls me Gary, and it's the fucking worst.

It's literally the bit. I'll be like, she'll be like, right Gary? And I'll be like, Gareth and she'll go, Gary. And I'm like, Oh my God. Wow. Yeah. No podcast. My work here is done. No, your legacy lives in many different ways. That is right there with things. Bizarre choices you've made and just how that has stuck is just, it's crazy. It's fantastic. I'll be like after a show, like Luke and I

will be standing there like selling stuff and some people will be like, Gary, can I? And I'll be like, I don't know you. But it's like, it's right on the border where it's like, it doesn't really bother me, but I'm like, Hey, come on. This is over 10 years of this.

It's 10 years of being like, no, so good. Everybody loves it. I'm drinking the hotel coffee from the coffee maker in the hotel. So if I die during this, what is the the what is the little thing say there on them? Good hatch with a couple of hatch. Good hat. Oh, because yeah, good hatch breakfast and lunch. Good hatch. Yep. Okay. Okay. All right. Joy is out of the way. Now let's hate the country for a little bit.

And called it quote, his jam patch. Jam patch? I'm the fucking hippo guy! Steve, okay. My name's Gary. My name's Gary. Wait. Is it for fun?

And this is not gonna become a Tickly Plot, guys. Okay. This is like Adam. On a five part coefficient. Come on, we're on the plane! Now hit him with the puppy. You both present sick arguments. No, sleep tell hippo!

Not sleep tell hippo! Action, pardon. Hi, Gary. No. Nice to see you done, my friend. No both present sick arguments. No sleep, don't hip-hop. No sleep, don't hip-hop. Action, partner. Hi, Gaby. No. Nice sleep, don't my friend. No. No. Rona, Rona and the boys. We're going on tour, Gareth. Oh yes, we are, David. We're going on two tours. First we're going out in March, which is two and a half months away, I say, because I have to get the things ready. We're going to Tempe, we're going to Albuquerque, we're going to Oklahoma City, Tulsa, Dallas,

Houston, Austin. And then in June, we are going to Sacramento, Boise, Spokane, Seattle, Portland, Bend, Oregon, and San Francisco. You can go to dolluppodcast.com slash tour to get those sweet, sweet tickets, which are going fast like hotcakes. I think that's speaking of hotcakes. My coast is Gareth Reynolds. 1872. You need a nickname.

Hotcakes. That's the second nickname you've given me. One off air, one on air. Oh yeah, I did just give you one off air, didn't I? I like hotcakes. I like hotcakes. I gave you one. What was the one I gave you before?

Scary. You were real proud. Scary. Super stupid. Scary. Yeah. 1872. I remember. Scary you're real scary super stupid scary 1872 the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals the ASPCA was six years old

Six I don't have a good feeling It's created by Henry Berg in New York City and and he stated that, quote, "'Animals are entitled to kind and respectful treatment "'at the hands of humans and must be protected "'under the law.'" And they were. The law came, they were like, "'Yeah, let's not do terrible things to animals.' I mean, that never took,

but, "'Let's not do terrible things to animals.'" So this, that never took, but let's not do terrible things. So this came after years of watching, you know, cock fighting and slaughterhouses doing their thing and the treatment of horses on the streets. And the horses, of course, were the main source of transportation. That was the way the horses, of course, were their main source. That is the first joke. and it's a C. I don't know if I could classify it as a joke. The horses of course were the source. Would you classify that as a joke? Like if you had to technically...

If you grew up with Nick at night or are 80, yeah. On April 19th, 1866, the first anti-cruelty law was passed in New York and the ASPCA was granted the right to enforce anti-cruelty laws. So they're animal cops. That's great. In 1867, the ASPCA operated its first ambulance for injured horses. But that's had to be a big fucking ambulance. I guess it's just a horse trailer.

But still, if the horse is down. It is. It is. That's exactly. So if you want to think about what it looks like, it is a wagon and there's a roof on it. And then there's just a little ramp that comes down and the horse goes up and into it. That's all it is. But it's a, but you know, we're talking about when horses are just laying on the ground,

so this is a way to get them to a place that. When I, it always cracks me up when I see like a baby on board bumper sticker, because I'm like, yeah, whatever. But if I see a horse trailer, I'm like, be very careful. That's a, I feel like this one, I'm like, be very careful. That's a I guess I feel like this one was you shouldn't say out loud. Right. Do you know what I mean? Sort of a private. Yeah, that's a private thought that maybe don't let people on, you know,

it's fine because it makes it seem like I'm more OK with child death versus animal death. That's correct. Yeah, that correct, yeah. That would be the bad part of that. So if I say I see a baby on board bumper sticker, I'm doing a little Fast and Furious action. But if I see a horse trail, I go, hey, I'm going to exit and take a break. That comes off poorly. It's not great.

I got to say, not. OK. Thank you. This is, by the way, this was two years before the ambulances for humans were made. So then ambulances for That's awesome. Yeah, it's great. That's I mean, that's what it's that's what this thing said. It sounds like it can't be real. But that's what this

That's so somewhat you know, that could work with humans. Wait a minute. Yeah, right. It's crazy. So in 1872, in late September, some horses in the country, thing, camera, dumb camera, outside of Toronto, got sick. Just days later, horses in Toronto got sick. horses in Toronto got sick. And in the city it's different than out in the country.

The stables are packed and so the illness spreads really quickly in the city. Right. But the doctors said they were all in stable condition. Are you going to is this? I'm a vehicle for it. I don't know where it comes from because I feel like at this point we could have anybody in your chair about how my jokes are. But I'm standing by that one. But we could have anybody in your chair at this point. At this point.

Wrong. Seven minutes in. Anyone could be sitting there doing what you're doing. Wrong. OK. That you tell me the horse doctor doesn't come in. He doesn't. That's not funny. Wrong. Okay. That, you're telling me the horse doctor doesn't come in, he doesn't, that's not funny. That's funny.

That's funny. I'm not going to sit here and put that doctor being like, well, this is another one in stable condition, but doctor, he's passed away. Yeah, but look at where we are. That's good. That's a sketch. That's a ready for, what do you want to put it on? SNL, mad TV?

That's not, that wouldn't even make it on the terrible SNL. Put it online. Throw it on the YouTubes. Put it on YouTubes. Maybe, no, I wouldn would make it on the YouTube's. Put it on YouTube. Maybe. No, wouldn't make it on he either. In 1872. These horses are sick and the stables are spreading around in the stables. Within a couple weeks, the horse sickness was considered to be quote general throughout the province. Interesting way of putting it. On October 1st, some horses brought the virus to Detroit. Cool.

Now, the way the railroads are, well, so the US immediately bans the importation of horses into Canada, but the sick horses have already got there, so it's too late. Right, right. You wanted to do that before. Yes.

And it's being called the Canadian horse disease. Okay, okay. So the train lines in Canada don't go from Canadian city to Canadian city, they go up and down to, so it sounds like if you wanna like go from Montreal to Toronto, you would come down into the US because all the go up, they go straight up. Then you come down, then cross over to Detroit and then go up to...

We claimed East West. They were like, that's a bummer. We were probably building the railroads. I'm like, why would I connect Canadian cities? Yeah. And so that, if you think about it, and there's a- It's very limiting. And there's also a horse disease.

So it's going to come down into the US. Yeah. Yeah. So that's how it's spreading in America. in the US. It's not gonna, yeah. So that's how it's spreading in America. And then it hits Buffalo on October 14th. And then a week later, it's endemic in Buffalo. And the city's railroad companies have 300 horses. So that's, so when we say railroad,

we're talking about the horses are on the street pulling the Hearts that that's what that's what they're calling the rail right so Okay, it was reported 300 horses. It's reported through all but three are Sick. Oh shit. That's a heavy. That's a heavy Pick up that load. Yeah. Yeah, they got to do a lot of work. Those guys. Yeah.

A local editor quote, all classes of business are seriously embarrassed with no immediate prospects of relief. Okay. Well, the biz, it's amazing that right away it comes down to business again, you know versus like Should we be worried? We're just like man. It's tough How are we gonna make money? Yeah money's money Money all the things that carry money money money horses So the horses have a cough and

Then they become that's even weird. I I know. I want to hear a horse. I was doing this. Yeah, how do you see? So they become sluggish and then their eyes have clothes and their ears start to droop. And then this is the crazy part. So their limbs get stiff and the joints crackle when they move around. And then they're panting and they have a fever and then a lot of them at that point just go to ground.

They're so exhausted. Here, I got a horse cough here. You wanna hear a horse cough? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come with me, my baby. I hate everything. You can come too with the ad. Everything's just the worst.

I don't need your introduction. You know what else I don't need is your videos where you show. Oh, here it is. It looks like it's. Whoa. It's barking. It sounds like a dog. It sounds like a dog. It does sound like that horse might have swallowed a dog.

What was I talking about? You were mad about commercials. Was I? Oh, no. No, videos. When people put up videos and they're like, here's a bunch of construction things that people had happen on construction sites and then they just, they put themselves in the video with a construction hat on just looking at it and shaking their head and putting up

the different. Yeah. Well, what happens with that is one person does it and then everyone's like, I'll do one. Yeah. Because it's not hard to do, because you're just showing people videos. The first one you saw, though, was funny. You're like, oh, that's funny. And then it's like, now it's the worst.

Now it's the worst thing ever. Everything becomes the worst so fast. Yes, it does. Really fast. It just takes so little for things to become awful, intolerable, and the worst. I think that with YouTube, if you're like, oh, I want to watch the grape stomping woman fall, and then you're like, oh, here it is,

and you click on it, and then it's some guy like, what's up, everybody, welcome, we're going to look at the grape stomping lady, like this is a classic video, and you're like, just show me the fucking woman falling. Yeah. I mean, that's what it is. and you're like, just show me the fucking ribbon falling. Yeah. I mean, that's what it is. That's what it all is.

It's just, anyway, go ahead. Alright, so they're going to ground. Some get better within a few days, but then comes a deeper rasping cough, and their eyes start, so it's like two waves and their eyes start tearing up and then their noses get covered with a thick yellow gunk discharge. When the veterinarians said it sometimes, that sometimes came with quote, a tough green clinker.

A tough green clinker? What does that mean? I think that's a big, big, yeah, I think it's a big tough green clinker. A tough green clinker? What does that mean? I think that's a big, big, yeah, I think it's a big ass green booger. Horse booger. Horse booger, which has got to be huge. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah.

People just turned it off. The infection rate is 99%. Oh my God. All but 1%. Well, I saw different rates on this. It's very funny. Like if you read Mental Floss, they're like 2 to 10%. No one else says that. They're just trying to juice it up

to make their story more interesting. But it sounds like it was like 1% died. Oh, 1% died? Okay. Yeah. Okay. By the third week of October, it has spread to Bangor, Maine, Brooklyn, Providence, and Pontiac, Michigan.

So Boston's largest street railway company has 1,200 horses. So these are companies that are moving people around. They're the transportation system. All 1,200 are down, they're all sick. The streets of New York are eerily quiet because there's no horses. Yep. That meant there's no yelling between the drivers,

which was common. There's no collisions. There's no runaway horses, which happened all the time. It's tough. Kids are living. It's terrible. Kids are living. People are walking around, talking to each other,

having fun. It's been ages since people could cross Broadway without worrying about being trampled. So every day sounds like it's a Sunday, basically. Yeah. They're saying it's like every day is a Sunday. So some horses are still on the street though, but we're quote prostrate coughing violently. Most are being kept in their stalls, but there's a

lot of horses. So 1% death rate means a lot of corpses. Yeah. The horse bodies start piling up on the piers of the oval docks in Brooklyn. So that's where they. People just take them? It's the animal waste that's gonna be taken to the rendering plant on Barren Island. So you would bring your dead animal to the oval dock and then it would be handled from there.

What day,. What day? What's horse day? When did they come get the horse? What is it? Which bin is the horse? Because I know that compost is green. What's horse? Brown?

There's a lot of cleaners. The horse is brown. The pig is pink. I know that. That's the pink one. What is pig night? I just can't, oh my God, they didn't take my pig. Just because one snout's poking out.

It's too big. These guys are crazy. The pig's gotta be less than 200 pounds. You put, that one's like 210 or something. I put a chicken in the pig one, so that's pretty. Oh, see? Then they're not gonna take it. Damn it.

Chicken is the white bin, that's on Tuesday. Yeah. No, I know. Now I don't know why we have an ocelot bin. I feel like it's rarely used but like yeah. Yeah. Thank you. I never have one. I know. I've never had an ocelot, but I guess there's one guy. You do that once a month, Max. Max. Max, yeah. So they're piling up there. They're basically piling up on the dock. Only 11 of 800 horses of- By the way, fishing off the dock was ruined. This was my spot. God. I mean, there's a lot of bait.

Yeah. Only 11 of 800 horses of Baltimore City Railway were standing. City after city starts falling to the virus. The cities that had not been hit yet are preparing for it. Scientific American quote, we advise all in whose sections of the country the pestilence has not yet appeared to lose no time in preparing for it. Right. Yeah. And no one is.

But that's it's it's so similar in the way that it's just like a command of like, figure it out. Stop. It's like, well, yeah, but. Get ready. Yeah. Good luck. Don't do that. All right. Bye. Stop your town. Everyone stop your towns. So no one knows what caused it because it's fucking 1870. The germ theory hasn't even kicked in yet. Opinions are of experts are all over. All over. Yeah, they're just the other all over the fucking place. I think it's because I got too much hair. Yeah.

An editor quote, all the veterinary doctors were at sea when the disease first appeared. So meaning they're not actually at sea, meaning that they don't know what the fuck is happening. OK, otherwise, I would like what a bad time for our yearly cruise. This is ill timed. Some called it a subtle atmospheric poison. Okay, so kind of close I would imagine. Yeah, I mean it's probably closer to other things. Others said it was from a quick change of the weather.

So why are all the horses sick? No, no, no. Stop. All those towns that have that quick... Yeah. It was full on rain. It rained from hot. From rain to hot.

Now all the horses are dead. Now, I know horses have been able to handle that the whole time, but recently it's become It rained from hot, from rain to hot. It's tough. Now all the horses are dead. Now I know horses have been able to handle that the whole time, but recently it's become harder. No, in nature they can't. If you're out in like say it's the 1500s and there's a beautiful meadow and there's all these horses on it and the rain sweeps through and then all of a sudden it's hot, they just die.

They drop over. They die. Yeah, they die. That's why you see so many of them doing that Yeah, anytime. That's why farmers are like, oh god, a storm's coming cuz Oh my god So And quite a few said it wasn't real

Love that love that. That's the best. That seems familiar, yeah. That's the best. That's what we call the Jimmy Dore veterinarian. Yeah. One vet said it was quote, a protein malady varying in its source in different outbreaks and much according

to the state of the weather. So it's a combination. Yeah. He's got a foot in each theory. Yeah. Yeah. And then you put the hot on top of that though, and then bang.

It's just crazy. You're asking for it. It's like growing a mushroom. Yeah. Horse owners sought remedies, but it were the turn they found a veterinarian with a different theory. I believe it's an STD. I mean to be honest.

And there's one guy. And there's one guy. Bert. Do you guys know Bert? Bert? He's banging everything. Bert the horse fucker. That guy, he goes up to Toronto.

He fucks every horse he sees. Patient Zero. Oh he loves the Canadian horse, Ganch. Oh my God. He's... This guy, he loves the Canadian horse, Ganch. Oh my God, he's the- This guy, he's porkin' more than a pig. Hey, the last time I saw him, he's like, I'm headin' off to get some horse pussy boys. No, he's all over it.

He loves the stuff. And why, why people pay him to do that? I will never understand. Well, he's the best. He likes saddle on, by the way. He's kinky. Oh, yeah, I mean, I get that. Put your blinders in, I don't want you to see that.

Well it's something to hold on to. Yeah exactly, yeah, yeah, stirrup. So no one can even agree what to call it. Many started saying it was a horse flu or a mule flu and one called it horse malaria. Then everyone just kind of settled on episodic, episodic. Not good. Horse, horse?

Epizodic is bad. Is there horse? I think it means an animal epidemic. Right. Yeah, yeah. Which, they're basically saying they don't know what it is, but that it's widespread. Sure.

Still some continue to say their own names, like people were pretty, like a newspaper would be like, this is what I'm calling it. So, epihypotic, epipleritis, hippo, phage, phagia. Hip, get hippo out of there, that's so confusing. Hippopeluria? No. Hippoploria? No. Hipporhornia?

Hipp's gotta go. Hipporhornia? Isn't that a game show? Oh no, Hipporhinoria. Okay. So I'm not thinking of the game show. No. Typhoid, laryngite,

Hipposimosis. Hipposimosis. Hippo's gotta stop. Cause people are gonna be like, wait. The hippos, Febrequo Bronchiatus. All the names. I like having bronc in there, little broncoey. Yeah, that's all right.

All these names are just pissing other people off. And one editor said people coming up with the new names shouldn't be indicted for trying to quote, break the jaw, paralyze the tongue, and murder humor utterance. Yeah, right. No, that's good. You're in a good spot

when we're having the word fucking debate. Yeah. Now before we cure it, what should we call it? Let's take a couple months to get this right, everybody. So cures were also all over the place, obviously. There's not many veterinarians in each city and they are all competing for business. So it's like when you see the ads in the papers, like cure whatever, like you have dandruff, take Dr. Franklin's liquor of oils.

Like it's that. So that veterinarians did the same thing. So they're all trying to drum up business. So besides veterinarians, old stable hands and just opportunists and the snake oil salesman come out of the woodwork. But everyone seemed to agree that rest and no work, clean stalls and fresh air,

good food, that's the way to go. Ads for cures still start appearing in papers. The Baltimore Sun had one, quote, Schenk's Pulmonic Syrup and Mandrake Pills have within the past few days been used with remarkable and sheer success in the treatment of the new horse disease sweeping the country arrests the progress of the malady and the animal recovers and resumes work in a much shorter time than when placed

under any other treatment so i've remacked in it i love horse syrup first of all I can't be the only guy who's putting that stuff on everything no it's good It's real good Especially when it comes fresh out of the horse Fresh horse syrup Guys like I think you misunderstood my directions. It'll go you just got to keep you get it right out of the syrup tube There you go. I'll tell you what hey, where's the horses penis by the way? Oh god Ted Ted Ted It's just got this huge syrup straw down here. It's just this it's just a chance to work it out

But when you get that sir bad, it's hot. I tell you hot It takes a while to work it out. But when you get there, sir, bad, it's hot. I tell you, hot. Oh, fuck. So if that didn't work, you could also try Dr. Wagenfeld's celebrated horse powder. People also said gin and ginger, pictures of arsenic. And then some people were using faith healing.

Gin and ginger. You better get the lowest kind of drunk. That's the move. So men who made their living off of the labor of horses are pushing their now sick animals to the limit. Right. Of course. Of course. Not everyone is going to take care of their horse. Well, but like we were saying before, it's like you need to supplement that to get people...

This is where the government needs to come in and go, hey, we're going to pay you while your horse is sick because everything is fucked up. You need to do us a favor and not make money for a minute off of your horse. Yeah. So here, we'll take care of you. There had never been a more important moment for an organization like the ASPCA. Many people turn to Henry Berg because he's the anti animal cruelty guy. So he must have an answer for all this. He didn't have any medical training, but he is called a good authority on treating the horses.

He doesn't buy germ theory. It's a lot of pressure. Oh, good. Good. Good. Good. He doesn't believe in germ theory. So that's a new thing.

So, okay. He he's like, it's due. But what he did say, I'm actually okay with. He's like, it's due, but what he did say, I'm actually okay with. He's like, it's the filthy conditions they live in. They need to have clean stables. They need good food. They need rest. So he's right.

That's okay. Pasta. A lot of people listened to him and rested their horses. So he didn't, so it wasn't like he said, let's use ivermectin, He said take care of yourself, right? He was like wash your hands and socially distant Yeah, basically and like and like, you know, clean the air use a HEPA filter like smart stuff put on a mask That's what he's saying mask the horse mask morse

mmm Somewhere into a jump into the human population So that that's a thing that, you know, we know that with flus. Flus, even then they knew a flu could jump out of an animal into the human population and get ready, 2025. Stores sold out of horse blankets because people are taking care of their boys, their ladies, they're covering them up. They want, because the horses are shaking and freezing.

Newspapers publish recipes to feed your sick horse. Newspapers are like, here's some good stuff to feed him. A steaming bag of oats. Horses love hot food. I mean oatmeal. Yeah, we were talking about oatmeal. Basically, a steaming bag of, but it makes sense. Oh, well now I gotta hire a horse chef.

Christ. Um, Bran, so I assume the horses are just shitting like crazy. Um, Flask Seed Tea. Okay. H crazy. Flask seed tea. Okay. Horses like a good tea. They've always enjoyed a hot beverage. Just get the hot food and stuff for your horse. I love the hot food. The hot food is awesome.

Yeah. Well, that's what I would want. Another sausage, huh? How is everyone liking the salmon, huh? How is the horse's lobster dough? That's cold. God damn it. That's OK.

No, you have hot lobster. Is a bisque? A bisque? Yes, a bisque is hot. A bisque is hot. You're thinking of the gizpasso. Oh, I am thinking of it. So I should have said it.

I fucked up the joke. Yes. Actually, I fucked up the job. Yes Actually, I hate lobster so I don't know But a horse would enjoy I don't like any show. I'm not a shellfish guy. I don't like shellfish That's like that's eating a rat You'll be eating rats in your lifetime so Chill with that attitude. Some people note the hypocrisy of all of a sudden these people taking care of their animals. Quote, suddenly every horse owner who has been accustomed to abuse his animal now that

there is a prospect of losing him discovers, oh, he is a dear friend, a noble creature deserving of the kindest consideration and most touching care. Right. Right. So now they're like, you okay? They're abusing the shit, yeah. But because you are right. The ASPCA is around because people

were fucking abusing the horses. Yeah, right. Stores sold out, oh, I already, that, it had not hit Chicago by October 24th, but then it hits like fast a week later. In just one day, over a thousand horses got sick. Oh my God. And a couple days later, three quarters of the horses

are down, over 100 start dying a day. Oh shit. The Tribune quote, the streets were deserted. Chicago had just suffered the great fire 11 months before and builders were trying to rebuild the city before winter, but now they can't get supplies and this is a crucial period to get ship built, because winter is fucking coming.

Not if you've been to Chicago, but it's a... It's not great. It's, yeah. We're talking about the pizza. No, they're talking about the bears. The Chicago, this is the Chicago Tribune, quote, "'No such severe calamities as the fire "'and the horse disease

ever before visited one city in a year. No, there are cities that were totally wiped out. What are you talking about? Not that we've heard of. No, it's never had it worse. No, no, no, there's been a fire and a bunch of horses are down. No one in the history of man's been through more.

Stop showing me those Native American papers. We will not be looking at that. Stop. I'm gonna show you the Aztecs now. No, Aztecs, come on. What have they ever done? We had a big fire and now our horses are napping. Okay, Sodom and Gomorrah is in the fucking Bible.

Pompeii? Pompeii? What did he owe ya? We'll be right back. Hey, now I'm gonna have to ask you to knock off a lot of that stuff. Okay, that's fair. Thanks. And we're back! It is as if someone determined upon our destruction had attempted to knock us down the moment

we get up. Al-Qaeda. People in other cities became very aware of how reliant they were on horses for everything. Food, clothing, fuel. The nation quote, we now see that horses and mules are not simply private property, they are wheels in our great social machine. The stoppage of which means widespread injury

to all classes and conditions of persons. So they're basically saying the rich can get hurt too. They're basically saying this is really bad because also us. The rich. This is really bad, I can't get my. Now we're feeling it. I can't get my tea.

Yeah. The New York Times worried panic would hit, quote, the most disastrous unsettling of values is more than probable. So this end we're going to run out of shit and people are going to come get it. That's always always on the brain. Yeah. Yeah, it's always on the brain.

It always like shit. That could be bad. They could come get there's so many of them. Hold on. I'm starting to think most people not having anything could backfire on us. If they put the pieces together that we have all the shit, that's going to be really bad. There's so many of them. So if they recognize that we're just hoarding all the shit up here, that's going to be really fucking bad for us.

Yeah, we should probably kill everybody. Do they see? Do they look like they know we have all the shit? God, I hope they don't fucking realize that we have most of the shit up here. Well, we do live in a giant. I mean, the mansion is a whole block. I know, I know, which I love, which is great. But it's just once they, they could just take down that fence and they'll swim that moat. If they're able to only have a fence there, we have a, if they ever piece it together, that'll be bad. Yeah. Just cause we have so

much shit and a lot of shit is their shit. Yeah, a lot of it. Yeah, we take it. Yeah. They're paid for this shit. So if they realize that, that's, you know, we'll be up Shits Creek. It'll be bad. Ah, just Shits Creek. Yeah. Let's not live in it. Let's stay focused. I'm just saying I got it was a throw. Oh, it's funny. It will.

I know, but it's really. Yeah. But let's just. Yeah. Let's live in it. Marinade. Sure, but yeah, okay. All right, just keep an eye on these idiots. You understand? Okay. I'm going to a completely different part of the mansion.

I get it. Coal shipments massively dropped off. Horses and mules help with mining and transportation. There were horse powered canals that they were used for coal transportation. So. Horse powered canals? Yes, so I did not know this and then I found it.

And then I became obsessed with it, finding pictures of it and everything else. So they would have boats. And this also was a big thing in England. All those canals, all those canals were horse powered. They would have horses, like you would have a horse path on the levee or on the edge of the canal, and the horse would pull the boat.

And so that's how they got a lot of the coal around. Huh. Yeah, I had no idea. It still doesn't make a ton of sense to me. Well, because they can just move so much more stuff. Yeah, because it's on water and the horse can pull it. As opposed to being on ground, it's just easier to do it on the water.

Now, just so we're all picturing the same thing. These are horses with kind of gills. Yep, there it's a force fish horse. It's for right. Okay. Seahorse. Yeah, seahorse. Well, no, because this is these are fresh water.

All right. Great. All right. Well, let's do the ads and then let's come back. All right. Let's go. Great. We got that.

So yeah, so that's all shut down. And so now people are freaking out, because also people don't know how long this is gonna last. Yeah, right. Right, the horses are getting sick. Or if they're gonna live, or whatever. So now people are worried about what they're calling a coal famine in the winter, which panics people

and that causes the price of coal to explode because everyone's gotta take advantage of it. It's not like the price is different. It just, it's the same amount you bought it for before so you could sell it for your regular profit, whatever. Now, now. Pittsburgh has to shut down iron mills, factories are shutting down because they have no fuel,

thousands of workers are being furloughed, even when trains have enough coal, they can't bring goods because there's nowhere to put it because that's all piling up at the depot Because there are no horses to move it away from the depot So it's a we were very shit. Yeah, we're Much to yank a block out of the Jenga economy Exactly. It doesn't like we and you do, we see it over and over,

like when the Panama Canal, we were like, uh, but that's all of our shit. And we're like, yeah, I guess that's the end of your shit. You're like, wait. Oh no. This is if the cars stopped working all at once. Like it's, you know. Or the workers. the cars stopped working all at once. Like it's, you know, or

the words. So some cities bring in oxen scabs. Now, the ox hate harnesses and were quote, conk, they were quote. Now listen, I'm gonna point out, full candor, let's be transparent, the oxen are not gonna play ball like the horses. Now the oxen, a couple things, harnesses, they're out. They're not gonna do the harness. Yeah, it's big. Okay, so how do we connect them to the wagon?

I'm not here to necessarily pitch solutions, but you're just gonna have to put a little faith in the ox, okay? That man, that one's what it is. Oxen were also quote, contrary and vicious. Hold on, we're not done. The ox do not respond well to commands. Oxen were also, quote, contrary and vicious. Hold on, we're not done. The ox do not respond well to commands.

Okay. Ox are big, free will animals. Yeah. So you're not going to be able to demand or command, okay? Okay, that sounds not at all helpful, right? Nothing on their backs, period. Nothing on their backs. You can't put a thing on an ox's back.

That's a big part of what we need here. And an easy way to remember that is no box on the ox. They'll lose their minds. Okay. Also, anything in front of them that's an obstruction will stop them dead in their tracks. They will not, they will fear that and not do that. Anything.

Anything. Like a rock or? No rocks. No rocks. This sounds like not. Yeah, no it's. The solution, it's. Right, well, then just let's get them all out there,

then we can start to chalkboard some of these issues. An ox cannot be near another ox or a man. Oh, okay. Okay. No water. Why? I mean, why don't we just get a panther? Like, this sounds crazy. It doesn't sound helpful. I'm just the ox guy.

So, I mean, there's a reason why they call oxes crap horses. Doesn't sound anything remote. It's like an apple horse. Hmm. Yeah. But yeah, yeah. I don't know. It kind of threw me to be honest. I got a lot of stuff prepared and then this guy's kind of. By the way, so expensive to feed. So here's a thousand. Here's a thousand.

They were charging $10 to $12 a day for the AUX teams. So their price. The drivers were exhausted trying to control the AUX and carts were smashed up by them. That's awesome. They're slow. They're apparently really clumsy. They would slip a lot. Just imagining the guys going home looking at their horses

like, I didn't know how good we had it. I got my god, I didn't know I loved you until you were gone. Now that I'm playing the field, you were the one. So street urchins as they were called started heckling the ox drivers and throwing rocks at the slow moving. I mean, they really spread pretty thin. Throw rocks at the ox. Mail delivery schedules had to be changed because the ox was so slow. But everyone was also like, well, this is better than nothing.

I mean, yeah. Priority is now two to nine months. In New York, Henry Berg stationed himself on major horse rail lines and stopped every car to inspect the horses. Now he dressed fancy. He had on a top hat and had a silver cane. He also has a big, dripping mustache. The cops have his back,

because he's an official city agency, and he's, you know, it's a department. So Berg would order the sick horses back to their stables. So they'd come through to get inspected, and he'd be like, nope, these ones are in bad shape. They gotta go back. When the pandemic is peaking, he only let 10% of teams go out.

Wow. Some horse car companies just shut down to avoid the ASPCA and Berg. Others would add horses to lighten the load and Berg took the moment to attack the company saying they took better care of their cars than they did of their horses who were not fed well and housed in quote the damp dark foul-smelling cellar below the street. Okay this this broke my brain a little bit. They were keeping horses in cellars.

What? Horses like if a wine was an animal. Make sure to put them on their side now, otherwise they'll get horrible and vinegary. Yeah, so, that, like that, all those places in New York that are like, you know, tell her apartment that yeah, a lot of horses and stuff in there. Yeah, but it make you know, it would make sense. You think about it.

But yeah, where else are you going to put the horses? I guess I mean, build build stables, but there's not there's too many horses to do that. There's too many. Okay, sure. Ninja Turtlene. There's not there's too many horses to do that. There's too many Okay, sure Ninja Turtlene He said this was all the stockholders fault who only cared about money not humanity Stop attacking these people that's fair. They're the heroes. Yeah. No, I get it. They give jobs, right? They have the jobs Give the jobs. Give the jobs.

They give the jobs. So the price of ox shoots up. In some places, ox become literally priceless. So they hate them. So they're just like expensive, do nothing, ox idiot. expensive do nothing ox idiot gareth the dollop is brought to you by nutriful oh yeah uh nutriful is uh it's a hair uh it's a sweet sweet hair hair product to keep your hair in the game. Keep your hair fluffy and sweet.

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No, no. A lot of us are saying that this is brain hair. Hair thinning, very common. Except for Nutrifol, who seems to be not signing off on some of that. Nonsense, I would say. Yeah, yeah. No, yeah. Quackery.

Yeah, we're in the quack. The email was super clear. No, their lawyers have been so- Yeah, they were like, please, God, stop would say. Yeah, yeah, I know, yeah, quackery. Yeah, we're in the quack. Yeah, no, the email was super clear. Shut up. No, their lawyers have been so... Yeah, they were like, please God, stop. Right, yeah. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, that's exactly it. So anyway, so this is a brain hair thing.

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Yeah. Now, read the email before you start saying some of this stuff. They said that of this stuff. They sent that to do that. They begged us. I have been using Nutri-Full and like I said here before, my person who cuts my hair and some friends have been like, what happened? Did you get plugs?

No. Someone mentioned on Twitter that your hair... Yeah. Yeah. No, I've been using Nutri-Full and it makes my hair look thicker. They said your hair looks better and your face is getting more problematic. Yeah, there's no medicine for that. There's no supplements.

There's nothing you can do about my face. It's tough. It's dog-ish. It's just derbo. So yeah, so people confuse what's happening with my hair with Rogaine use or whatever. No, it's just Nutrifol. That's all I'm doing. By the way, if you use Rogaine,

that can be poisonous for your animals, just so you know, so not to fire a cannon in their direction. Okay, okay, Joe Rogaine. Start your hair growth journey with NutriFull. For a limited time, NutriFull is offering our listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to nutrivol.com. Slash man and enter a promo code the dollop. Find out why over 4,500 healthcare professionals

and stylists recommend Nutrivol healthier hair nutrivol.com. Slash man spelled N U T R A F O L dot com slash man promo code the dollop. That's nutrivol.com. Slash man promo code the dollop, that's nitchevil.com slash men, promo code the dollop. All right. So greedy drivers start putting their horses back out because the prices are too good to pass up. They can make so much fucking money. So horses on the edge of death are put back to work.

Anti-cruelty people start putting up signs in cities all over the ever-riding happening stating working sick horses is a crime and offenders are going to be fined and or jailed. In Chicago, additional Humane Society agents are hired to go on patrol and cops would join them. It's just so funny to listen to the seeds of the anger of freedom. Yeah. The way that people attack freedom in this country.

Thank you. It's just crazy. Now a lot of business guys are opposed to these pious animal lovers meddling in their business dealings, these fucking fucks. It's disgusting. Even while there is a clear crisis happening, obviously this is like a legitimate thing, these do-gooders only care about animals,

not humans who are suffering too. The profit, we need profit. We have a good system. What are people gonna eat? Yep. The car companies put out letters explaining how the animal lovers have made life hard for their customers.

People are trying to get to their jobs. Honestly, I'm starting to think you make some of these up. They said a pregnant woman. It's just the exact same. If you were to go to chat GBT would just be like, COVID, but horses. It'd be like this. Like they put out a letter that a pregnant woman had to walk home in the mud.

A woman missed a funeral. Like they're using like, oh, it's like when the president gives the state of the union. He's like, and Ginger over there had to, like it's the same, you personalized it. It's like the state of gives the state of the union, he's like, and ginger over there had to, like, it's the same. You personalize it. It's like the state of the union or like the news, like the way the news like will be like, a woman's missing.

It's like, well, nobody wants her missing. Or when they go, what about these other- A homeless guy attacked someone today and you're like, yeah, but also- On the same train. A business Taco Bell stole millions of dollars from their employees. So there's that. Yeah, right. Did they?

I believe they did, yeah. Someone recently got caught. But they get caught all the time. That's why when you go to any sort of place, whether it be Office Depot or Taco Bell, whatever it is, and they say, would you like to round up for charity? Do not give them that fucking money,

because they are using it to get tax breaks. They're going to take it and say, we're donating this, here's our tab. And then how do you even know they're going to fucking give it? These are corporations. Oh, yeah. There's no fucking way to get it. So if you want to do that, just round up yourself at home

and send it to someone. I have a joke about when you would go to the cashier, and they'd be like, do you want to help cure something? And you'd be like, it's just like, it's one of those things that gets so normalized where they would just be like, hey, do you want to help cancer research? And you'd be like, oh, I hate cancer.

But then eventually you'd be like, is it this is the government's fault? Yeah, you feel really guilty saying no, but you should always say no because they are there's no Now be able just to be a just just that's great now the next time that happens to me Oh the way I'm gonna answer Fuck no, I hate you Okay, so oh

Okay, so, oh right, so I was talking about the people that they're writing about. So, you know, they talked about customers having to walk home in the rain in Boston. They're just personalizing all this shit. The companies wanted to know, they put in letters, like how many people got sick because people couldn't ride in the fucking rail cars. How many?

Maybe people died to protect these horses. Oh, fuck. So that leads people to try other solutions, goats, donkeys. Oh my god, that bitch. There was a baker using a Newfoundland dog. All right, look, I think. Oh!

We're all in a tough spot, so... I understand that what I'm about to say might be a little out of left field, but we tried ox. But we haven't tried goats. No, oh, yeah. They are, wait now for which? Well, to. You know, to move. Stuff and to get the cars moving again.

How how many goats would you need to pull a rail car? It's a big my calculations say we're going to need about 800 goats a car now. Now, now we are in beta, but right off the bat, let's talk downsides. And are you asking for VC money on this? I mean, I need help in a lot of ways because we need to transform the way goats behave. The goats are the advantage, the advantage goats can carry. I just see the goat stopping and eating a lot. Well, it's impossible to stop a goat from doing what it wants to do.

That's right off the bat. So it's like a little ox. It's worse. It's worse than an ox. An ox is going to make up for its downside. There's a good chance the goat might go and you might never see the goat again. I mean, it's just... You know what I mean? Goats are very into their own world. I like to think of a goat like a small horse on psychedelics. So the goat is... You know what? Thanks for your pitch. We're going to talk to the dog guy and then the goose guy.

We'll let you know tomorrow. OK. If we're going to go to say one last thing in closing. Cats, we might do cats. I would not use my idea. OK, yeah. That's the feeling I got, yeah. Yeah, it's just not good.

We think you should get some sleep. Yeah, it's just it's not good and you know, we we think you should get some sleep Yeah, no, I've been I've been out a lot and I've been working on this a lot and my marriage is falling apart a lot It's not cuz it's Your ideas are not Good. I mean that's one more pitch. Yeah, baby boys All right. Thank you. Okay. Thanks a lot Yeah. Baby boys. All right.

Thank you. Okay. Thanks a lot. Good to meet you guys. Yeah. So, Coach, donkeys, beggars, the Newfoundland dogs, some people start pulling carts themselves. That's fucking so, so great. And Gareth, as you just said, kids are now everywhere pulling hand carts and pushing

wheelbarrows full of goods. No. Kids. Kids. Kids. We have men. The mail starts using a bunch of kids pushing wheelbarrows, which became known as the Fast Wheelbarrow Express.

It's a cute name, as we always ought to do, which is, it's a cute name, but really it's child labor. Yeah, but if you give child labor a cute name. Yeah, yeah. They're the ootsy tootsy gang. This boy's arm fell off. Some people are making money. The Baltimore Sun quote, furniture, bedding,

hoop iron, huge baskets of goods, bundles of dry goods. In fact, every description of small articles could be seen born on the shoulders and heads of men and boys who are in demand on all sides and are liberally paid. So, some guys are getting out there and making money. They're just hauling shit around. Okay.

They're probably also out of their factory job or whatever, but you know, right in Baltimore, black guys are used in teams to haul wagons of oysters. The oysters need to be immediately shipped. They can't come out of the water and sit around. And in San Francisco, they hired Chinese men to haul goods. So they're- This is a job beneath the white man? Yes. Okay, thanks for answering my question.

One Boston manufacturer had to get some big machine that he made to a customer. So he hires a crew to haul it. Then he hires a marching band to walk behind them to encourage them to move quickly. We're over budget. Is there any way we can make cuts? Not that I see. Not that I see.

We need every person on this. And a one! Hey, could some of those guys help us with the oysters? The clarinet guy? Are you out of your mind? No. Alright guys. From the top. Oh my god Some people hire drummer boys To keep the wagon haulers steps in the rhythm. Well, yeah, that is keep them moving awful. Oh

Newspapers you guys are way off beat Let's go. Well fucked. I have to hire two drummer boys? Jesus Christ. Newspapers noted that when men pulled their sick or disabled wives to weddings or events in light buggies, so it's guys are now taking the place of the, you know those one horse buggy things? Yeah.

I think they're called Gits, I think. So now the guy is putting his wife in that and then he's being the horse. Here's a pitch. Here's a pitch. Let her stay home. Let her miss people. What if it's a wedding or like some important,

I get it, like you wanna go to that. I do not get it. I do not get it. I could not get it. This idea that you have to go to these, it's just the craziest shit in the world. Yeah. What am I gonna do?

Miss a wedding? Yeah, yes. You're gonna miss a wedding, yes. Yeah, there's a crisis. Yep, yep, it's fine. But that's not how people work. People have to do things even though there's such a horrible crisis they have to.

We have no ability to think long term. It has completely left our... We just have no... We just cannot do it. We cannot think about five years from now. We're like, but tomorrow would be tough. Farmers could not get their crops to market, and they're paying insane prices to get the few oxen and healthy horses to take them.

So they're losing gobs of fucking money. And some people who had healthy horses, some farmers who have healthy horses don't want to bring them to the city because they could get the flu in the city. So some farmers would just go to the city limit and then walk the rest of the way in themselves carrying the stuff.

For some reason thinking that like an artificial border created by man is going to protect the horses from the flu. The flu won't cross this line. They're like cops, they can't arrest, the flu can't arrest my horse here, right? Illegal. So it doesn't matter. Thousands of tons of the fall harvest is rotting.

Right. Butchers and slaughterhouses stopped buying meat, worried they won't be able to sell it. And the same thing happens with bakers and milkmen. So everything is just shutting down. Right. The shipping companies are hemorrhaging money each day as the sickness continues, because this is how they make all their fucking money. They can't do anything. Warves in coastal cities are now just packed with boxes and crates that are just not moving. Everything's

just piling up. Debris starts making its way from the ports and the docks into the streets and blocking traffic. River thieves start going crazy and just pillaging. Oh, by the way. I know, I'm on the river thief side. The river thieves, the river thieves were super calm and respectful. The companies then have to hire more guards.

But at the same time, all the perishable goods are rotting on the docks. Shipping companies put ads in the papers that just basically beg people to come down and pick up their own packages if they can. Ships. Now ships are loaded using horsepower cranes. Oh shit. ships are loaded using horsepower cranes. Oh shit. So ships are now just waiting in the harbors to be loaded,

but they can't be loaded. And the harbors are now just packed with ships. Some people would finally just give up, some captains would give up, and just have what they could men could carry on and then they would take that and take off. Probably the best move. Thousands of people lose their jobs. We're in a recession. Now we're in a recession. saloons. I can't believe it's crazy. saloons have nothing to serve because they have no delivery horses.

Theaters have no audiences because even people with money, everyone's staying home now, they're just like, fuck it. It's, what's the point? It's chaos out there. People can't pay their bills because the economy is just retracting. There's no coal, so some schools in cold areas are closing. Weddings are shrinking in size. Funeral possessions are impossible.

We'll just drag Uncle Don. Just do that. A Boston reporter quote, funerals are set. The hour comes, the mourners assemble, the sad service goes on and is ended. It is raining, the dead remain unburied. The weather lifts on the following day. The cemetery is five miles away. One horse is found to draw the hearse. One mourner follows the dead to the grave. He rides on the hearse with the undertaker.

Well, listen, we can I know how we can drop a little bit of the weight. Walk. You don't have to sit on the hearse. But no, you don't have to ride the hearse like it's. I have a nice dress. You just walk. Don't go. No, I can't walk. How? We're just trying to get the body in the ground. You just walk. Don't go. No, I can't walk. How? We're just trying to get the body in the ground.

Well, we can't because the horse lifts it down. Yes, I understand that. But do you need to be a riding participant? Yeah, because my uncle died and I wanted to go bye bye. Uncle. Super weird tradition. Well, I can't just say goodbye to him at the house. I think that I got to walk to the place where we put him in the like, uh, put him in the ground. What

my son is trying to say is that we, we cannot get him there unless we are sitting on top of where his dead body is. Thank you. So the horse has to carry that, the wreath, the tombstone, and our uncle's favorite belongings. His uncle's favorite belongings. Which are all strapped to the goats. Which are all put on the goats, which will also be on top of there. And the goats have eaten most of the stuff. The goats are full. These are packed goats. Yeah. Yeah goats full oats so You know, it's life in a recession Jack So The air smelled

From horse carcasses piling up and burning tar and sulfur, which stable owners were using the burning tar and sulfur to ward off the virus. So they're just burning this all over the place. It's so dumb. It's all dumb. I mean, like we're dumb now, but this is an interesting. Yeah, it's very, yeah.

Fire chiefs worried fire would break out and they wouldn't be able to use the fire engines. So they they put out word like we if a fire happens, we need volunteers to come out and help a fire does break out in Nashville and 24 volunteers harness themselves and pull the fire wagon. Oh my god. But then they lose control of it and it smashes into a cigar store. Oh no, no more fire. Those things went right up. Luckily there were other people who put the fire out. Um, on November 9th in Boston, as the pandemic is in its later days,

the firehorses, however, are not ready to get back. So a fire breaks out. Firehorses. A fire breaks out in the business district and men try to pull the fire wagon, but they can't get it done. They don't get there in time. The fire spreads quickly through this warehouse, mostly through different warehouses,

mostly because it's full of shit now. So all the warehouses, all the buildings are full of crates, and yeah, it's all tinder. So it's just packed into them, and so the fire. When are we going to deliver all these logs? Oh, shit. So the fire is like just exploding. Cooking.

It's so hot that the granite buildings are cracking. Oh wow. 70 acres of downtown Boston burns. Wow. 12 firemen are killed, thousands are out of work, all because they couldn't get the fire engine there in time because there's no horses. Two days later the same thing almost happens in Philadelphia but some sort of lucky break they caught it didn't spread.

Right they just threw batteries at it. Now what can I pee real quick sorry? Yeah. It's just vamp or you know do you think vamp? It's gross. No one likes it when you pee. I mean some? Yeah. It's just vamp or do you think vamp? It's gross. No one likes it when you pee. I mean, I'm sure there's some ladies out there that are like, I'd watch Gareth Pee or want to be peed on. I bet there are ladies out there who want to be peed on by Gareth.

That's the point I'm making. And we're going to put that. That's going to be'm making. And we're gonna put that, that's gonna be part of the tour package. So you can buy a ticket. There's no meet and greet now, there's a meet and pee. And there'll be a tub and back. And you can get in it and Gareth will pee on you.

It's $75 extra, it's not that much. And then you get a special part of the dollop on you. And then you can maybe you can clean there you can not clean there. But get the pee package. Get the pee package when you come to the dollop shows and Gareth will pee on you in the tub in the back. I told you that story. Well, there's that one time we were doing a live show where I was going to die from piss. And I was sitting there, this is when we used to just pound beers, and I was just sitting there like, I'm going to die from piss.

And then I got so bad that I go, Dave, I have to go to the bathroom. You go, hold on, we're almost done. And I was like, Dave, I'm going to die. And then we did like another five minutes And I was like, Dave, I'm gonna die. And then like, we did like another five minutes and I was like, I was like white. He's not going to make it. That'd been amazing way to go. So cities across the US are now scared fire is going to happen and they'd have no horses to move the fire wagons. The New York Tribune quote, if there are well horses anywhere, they ought to be in the engine

house. So they're saying like, let's keep that side. Yeah. Yeah. Of course that's not what's happening. Central workers. Yeah. They're saying the city should pay for these horses at any price. Yeah. Some see positives in all this, like how much everyone is suddenly forced to walk. Yeah, wow. The Nashville banner, quote, too many, believe that legs were made to convey their owners to the nearest streetcar and no further. And as far as horses, pretty much everyone agreed to survive.

They should not work during the, so now everyone's like, they've seen enough horses be pushed out to work and die, and they're like, okay, that shouldn't be happening. But horse car companies and drivers are looking at economic ruin and they ignore people, and you know. Yeah. That's so, it is so interesting to just be like,

hey, is it just me or maybe like, we've kind of lost the thread of what this is all about. Like we got so caught up in the hustle and bustle of everywhere that we're supposed to walk, we're supposed to do things, we're supposed to be active. We're supposed, and then just a billionaire shoots him in the back of the head, quiet! Now come on, let's get these goods moving you morons!

So they start ignoring people telling them not to use the horses. They push them back to work before they're ready. Many found the day after putting them back to work, so they put them back to work and then the next day the horses had dropsy. Well we lowered the day where they, we used to say 10 days, but now it's five that you should isolate as a horse. And now it's none. That's not gonna work.

There's nowhere safer to be than inside of a horse car. The horses have dropsy, meaning they're bloated with fluid that causes them, they just massively bloat. Their legs are twice their normal size and quote, head swollen to a round ball. Now, I don't know if you know about horses. No, I don't know if you know about horses,

but their heads aren't round. No, but that's, you want that. They're turning into ox, their final form. Of those who had this, of those who had this, what, it's labor, it's a labor induced, like worsening of the infection, 20% of them would die. those who had this, what, it's a labor induced worsening of the infection, 20% of them would die. So these companies are forcing the horses back to work,

and guess what, now they're gonna have to buy 20% more horses, they're fucking idiots. It's short term profit. Exactly, it's always just like, how do I make it to the end of today? The business community operates like crackheads. Yeah. So this is seen as a second related disease.

It's like when you get pneumonia from COVID. It's the same kind of thing. So they're seeing it as related to the lack of labor, I mean the laboring of them. And so many now are putting, so this causes more people to just like put their horse in stables because this secondary infection that happens. Hey Ted, my horse's head popped and water came out.

Is that, have you had that? Yeah, yeah, they're supposed to do that. That's a new horse feature. It's just not taking commands at all anymore. Yeah, no, they'll pop and they won't take commands. And yeah, it's great. It's great. Just keep them out there.

Okay, great. Well, good to hear it. I have concerns, but that's good to hear that you feel. You know the old saying, work your way through it. Like, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Work your way through it. Every time a horse's head pops, an angel gets a dollar.

Yep, and like a horse doesn't feel like a horse unless it's taking someone to the theater. No, I know. I'm telling you, some of these heads, they are just gushers. Yeah, no, it's great. No, it's good. It's good. It just lets the water out. It makes them feel better. Yeah, right. No, definitely he's made a lot less noise since his head water popped. Yeah, no, he'll make a lot less noise now. Yeah. By the way, I'm going to send some guys by for the food. Great, great. The horse.

Right. We're gonna make tacos. Yes, great, great. That sounds, yes. Yeah. So now more people are putting their horses in stables instead of working them, and that only extends all the economic pain of people, though now it sounds like this is going on

for a while, but in each city, it's only lasting two to three weeks. But it's two to three weeks of everything shutting down and no one prepared. And it does spread across the country. It spreads through the rail lines basically. So the transcontinental railroad has just been put in place and so it can get across the country. So but it's literally spreading along the rail lines. Right.

This is where Canada's plan seems pretty good. They're like, no, we've had no east-west migration of the problem. That's right. So while a place like New York can be recovered, St. Louis can be in the middle of it, it's that kind of thing. And then in Chicago, it snowed early and it seemed like that cleared up the virus, so it's clearly fucking airborne. And the mass slaughter of Buffalo, I'm talking about not the city, the mass slaughter of

Buffalo. My heart. In Kansas. It gets slowed down by the horse flu. It's also happened in the playoffs. Because they can't chase the buffalo without their horses. So yeah, so the buffalo are being slaughtered in Kansas and they can slow down because they can't chase them.

You can't kill, you need horses to kill buffalo, right? I guess you can stand there and shoot at them, but you got to chase them. Yeah, I don't know if I like the chances of a man on foot. I mean, I love to think of it, but it's like Buster Keaton. The horse flu hit Texas in December, it hit Nevada in January. Desert roads were littered with goods that were dumped

when teams of traveling horses went down. So people, yeah, so people, I guess, going across country. San Francisco gets hit in March. The U.S. Cavalry had to fight the Apache on foot for a few weeks. Look, we've been unable to kill Indians as regularly as we want. I mean, probably the same with the Apache,

because the Apache were big horse riders, horsemen, as they say. I'd like to believe that they probably paid a little bit more attention to what was going on. I hope so, yeah, yeah. So the horse flu goes on until the last reported outbreak is in Nicaragua in 1873 in September. So a lot of reporters had mocked Berg over the years for loving animals and wanting to help animals,

but that changed during the pandemic. And some kind of wrote like subtle apologies and said horses were actually overburdened. It all makes Americans suddenly realize horses are important and actually living shit lives because they didn't hear about how things were in the state. No one cared. So no one's writing about how things were in the stables. And now they kind of had to pay attention to it because they're like, oh, that's a bad condition for them to be in. Is this where horse journalism comes from? Yes, this is the horse-lism, yeah.

Okay, yeah, right, right. The Chicago Tribune quote, "'Most of us has to have forgotten "'that the horse was an animal like ourselves, "'liable to pains and aches and death. "'We have come to think of him as a machine "'on whose endurance we would calculate "'as on that of an engine and

for whose mortality we could make ample allowance in our business under the head of wear and tear. People are now seeing them as suffering animals, right? And important and very important animals. Especially as they watch the few who were still working, right? Because they're overloaded and they're shivering under blankets, they're being forced to work, so they kind of have to confront, like, oh, there's this sick horse and he has to go do a thing. We are just so fucking stupid. Yeah.

Yeah. They're also, well, it's all in the name of commerce. To be smart enough to realize how dumb you are. They're unique. They also saw them drop dead because they were being overworked during, while they were sick and falling. So they had to come out of reality that horses live terrible short lives under our system. Some people saw a moral in it,

the plague caused a divine retribution of the owners who were brutally exploiting them, and that led to a place where they were vulnerable to a virus. E.L. Godkin, who was the editor of the nation, called their treatment, quote, a disgrace to civilization worthy of the Dark Ages. So some people are like coming around, right?

This makes them sort of take a look at things. Some religious people saw horses as a divine gift. Man had been given to oversee, and they had obviously failed in overseeing. Some people are really overcorrecting. Yeah, they are. They have got. Well, that was especially like, oh, God made us, because there were guys pulling the wagons. So the religious people are like, oh, God made us take the place of the horse. Right. And to learn.

And this is a big boost to the SPCA and anti-cruelty cause. Some start lobbying state governments to pass laws against overloading horses. That obviously fails. Shocking. In New York, Berg pushed one that would force transit companies to add horses when they went up steep grades.

So they're like, okay, what about this more instance where they're having to really toughen out? Which is great. But here's the problem. That's going to cost more. Think about that. That's a big issue for what we're going for. You know what I mean? A lawmaker. Yeah. That a lawmaker said, quote, Mr. Berg already has more power than the emperor of Russia or anyone else on the face of the earth. So that didn't pass.

Sure. It's always the same. It's always the same. It is. It's just, it's, listen, stupid is always lurking around the corner and ready to, it's just, stupid's easier. Stupid's more convenient and it's easier. But people who are making money are looking for any reason

and so they jump on the dumbest shit and go, yes! Yes, yes. Because they want to make money. Yes, no, COVID for five days, that is better. You don't need to test. You're good. You're fine, don't worry about all that. It's called natural immunity. Kids can't get it.

As long as you're not looking at the research coming out, you don't worry about it. Kids can't get it. That was the best one. That was amazing. That was amazing. Kids can't get, kids don't get long COVID. So kids can't get it.

That was a four year old tell you. Some guy was just like, did you hear. Kids can't get kids don't get long COVID really. I was a four year old. Tell you guy was just like, did you hear the kids can't get it? Really? Yeah. Their nostrils can't get it because they're smaller. So it's filter and the nostrils are too COVID is the size of a grown booger. Nick, you can't get it. They found out teachers.

Teachers can't get it. Teachers and kids and workers. Teachers can't get it. Teachers and kids. And workers. They can't get it. So the public quickly starts to forget about the overworked horses. The railroads then take the ASPCA to court to get them barred from interfering in horse business. That's right. They've been horsing around. They say they sue the ASPCA for lost profits and to get an injunction.

And the judge decides the ASPCA cannot stop cars for horse inspections, but could only intervene if the suffering is obvious. And then if there's cruelty, they can arrest the driver and the conductor. Sure. They can't make the horses go back to the stable if they appear sick. So court fights continue between the ASPCA and the rail cars for years, and over time,

the companies realize it's actually beneficial to have ASPCA agents oversee things. They inspected the stables and the feed and the drivers. And Vanderbilt suggested the transit companies and anti-cruelty organizations have the same goal, keeping horses healthy, but it's actually PR. Because they don't fucking care, but they do. But they are like, look, the cost benefit

of having dead horses, they're probably like, yeah, then I have to buy another horse and that's bad. So there's like a middle ground there, right? Yeah, right. Yeah, they finally are like, oh, they think can't die. The horse flu also spurred interest in horseless transit. Uh huh. So it had been a longer or a more deadly flu. It could have caused an economic collapse or like starvation in cities. Like it could have been really fucking grim. Cities had to become less reliant on horses. And capitalists had been looking for a steam powered

solution for a couple of decades. Steam powered engine doesn't need rest. You don't have to fuel it when it's at night. So some of the steam engines are getting a little sick. We don't know how. They don't need space to live in, right? You don't have to put them in cellars. And you could treat them horribly if you wanted. And they wouldn't shit't piss everywhere also steam engines

Don't know steam engine has diarrhea and Then they also like well you could have an idiot fucking 16 year old That could drive a steam engine right so it's it's the much better so Humans as humane societies also want a mechanical horse thing to happen by 1872 however societies also want a mechanical horse thing to happen. By 1872, however, most cities had banned steam engines because they're dirty and they're loud and they're accident prone and sometimes they would explode.

So a horse was considered better, but then this pandemic comes. You got to love it. They were like, this is bad. It's bad overall. They were like, well, then let's not use it. It's just amazing. But then the pandemic hits and some steam engines were allowed in temporarily.

And then other engines would try to have the pandemic. Because after the pandemic, everyone's like, we got to get an engine of some kind. There's compressed air, ammonia gas. One plan in New York was to move people in pneumatic tubes underground. Yep, absolutely. The cable car in San Francisco is the one thing at the time that actually caught on. I don't I mean, I've taken the tube, I've taken a couple of pneumatic tubes places.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're not doing Uber tube? No, I do tube. No, yeah, I do Uber. Tuber? Tuber? Yeah, have you done Tuber?

Yeah, I Tuber all the time. Way better. But three years after the pandemic, nothing has actually caught on. And in the late 1880s, electric streetcars come and spread to cities all over. But most cities still had horse car lines for like the next 20 years. The amount of horses only increased. But then eventually, as we all know, the car came.

Right. And that was the end of it. No lessons were learned. No lessons were learned. Yeah, they dodged a bullet and then no lessons were learned and then... None. All right, we got to go. Thanks, everybody.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.