The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 670 - Pete Browning (Baseball guy)

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine baseball player Pete Browning.  SOURCES TOUR DATES OFFICIAL MERCH   Nutrafol - Code: TheDollop Factor - Code: dollop50off Hims 

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When you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com stressed all up to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. We're going on tour and this is- It's been a while. March, 2025 is when our tour is happening. First of all, we're going to Tempe, Arizona, maybe our favorite city of all time. It's the best. That is on March 16th and then we go to Albuquerque, New Mexico, maybe our favorite city of all time. It's the best. That is on March 16th, and then we go to Albuquerque, New Mexico.

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June 17th 1861 Okay, Lewis Rogers Browning was born in Louisville, Kentucky It's confusing. Louis Louisville. Come on. We're not there. There's some not who we are. Could be good. I had a sound button. It was like a boo or boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo

boo boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boo He had two brothers and two sisters. His dad Samuel was a pretty well-off lumber merchant and grocer, but then he got killed by a tornado when Louis was 13. Well, this is before they knew tornadoes were bad for you. Right. You would just run towards them. You would run towards them. Yeah. The tornadoes here again.

It was just kind of cool to be like an extra wind on the lead up. Yeah. You're like, up we go. Yay. Yeah. to be like an extra wind on the lead up. And then you're like, oh, we go. Hey, I wonder how many deaths the Wizard of Oz could take credit for. 17. Just a lot of people who are just like, I want to meet flying monkeys and a good witch.

I don't know if you want to meet those monkeys after you saw the movie though, right? What movie were you watching? Oh, so they were raised by their mother Mary in Louisville's oldest and most fashionable neighborhood, they're well off even after Samuel died Just throw up something they had someone's playing video games. Okay, someone made the eSports team High school and in the first game match that they had did he had 116 kills and died twice so he's apparently pretty good at video games. Have you ever had the conversation with him about the this lifestyle cannot be afforded

without daddy's work? Well actually esports is very lucrative if you can. Yeah, I'm saying. I don't think he's that good. He's not that good. But I think he'll win. I think he- When you come in to record the podcast in this, what do you say before you go in?

I'm recording, please be quiet. That's interesting. Sounds like you don't have a lot of respect in that household. Well, he gets very excited about games and then he screams. Think he needs Uncle Gareth to come over there and give him a little what's for. What's for? All right, I just told him. Get the guitar out.

You know, I have a way. Okay, so this- Have you done the birds and the bees with him? I want you to stay away from my son. Let me talk to him about it. I want you to stay away from my son. Let me talk to him about it. I want you to stay away from my child. I will have you arrested. I will have you arrested.

I will have you arrested. He should learn it from a man. A man who's been out there. You're 100% going to be. I'm taking this to the police when this broadcasts. Does he even know how to make condoms funny? Come on. This is a good stuff. I'll come over there. I taught him not to use condoms.

Hey, let's good cop, bad cop him. He knows not to use condoms because they're not cool. He knows. Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay. As long as he doesn't get the big lesson. They live in the Fashion District, like I said, they're well off. He's very close with his mom. And then, when he's young, he gets an ear infection. And that turns into mastoiditis, which is a bacterial infection of the mastoid, which is like the bone in your inner ear.

And that's bad. Sure. So over his life, he loses a lot of his hearing, but over his life, his hearing gets progressively worse until he can't hear at all. Okay. And then the symptoms are worse over his life, so there's pain and discomfort and all this shit associated with it.

Jesus. And then also his eyes would hurt and swell up. Jesus Christ. There's nothing. His whole life he would call his eyes his lamps. Oh my God. So there's nothing, there's obviously nothing to be done for it in this time. No.

Other than just be like a good sport. I mean the thing to do is to now to take antibiotics that doesn't happen. Well, that's what they're trying to tell you. But I think there's a lot of home stuff you can do. You ever put a knitting needle in your head? It helps. So he started calling everyone Pete

because he couldn't hear people's names. Pete? He started to call everyone Pete? Yeah, he'd say, hey, what's up Pete? Like, he'd just be like, what'd you say Pete? I like that. Yeah, it's not bad. But then because he was doing that, everyone started calling him Pete. So his name essentially became Pete. It's a very strange turn in the tale. I mean, it's unexpected.

Well, it's strange for him to decide, like, you'd call, you should call everyone fella or guy or whatever, you tail. I mean, it's unexpected. Well, it's strange for him to decide. You should call everyone fella or guy or whatever. You know what I mean? But to just be like, most people are named Pete. That's the safest route. I mean, you had to pick a name, right? To call people, like you pick a random name. Yeah, it's like Larry.

No. So, uh, he's a very good athlete. He does not like school. Probably because he can't hear very well, which makes school very difficult. Yeah. So, he would hide his textbooks and play hooky a lot, get his friends to go out and play hooky with him. Hide his textbooks?

What's he hiding from? He would just take them and like, we would just hide them in a friend's house and then go take off on them. Oh, okay, sure. Well, he didn't want his mom to see that he wasn't there. Yeah, right, right.

Then they go shoot marbles or spin tops or play baseball. Okay. He was very good at marbles, which is eye hand coordination stuff. He regularly won his friend's marbles. And over time he had so many marbles he could fill a trunk. What size is the trunk? That's just, again, we're in these old-timey metrics of just. I think that's a pretty big trunk back then.

I would think it's big too, but I don't know. I mean, I tried to order a container for the road in a big plastic container, and I was like, I don't know. I mean, I was, I tried to order like a container for the road and like a big plastic container. And I was like, I don't know what the fuck this is. You got to show me, show me the small you just, you gotta, it's not, there's, they need to give you a scale. Was your trunk. I'm sure they did.

You just didn't look at it. Stop talking to me. Stop talking to me like that. Why are you on the side of the trunk? It doesn't just say plastic box. Now it doesn't, but it's doing courts. What's it doing courting me? Get out of here with your fucking courts.

I don't know what a court is. How many soup cans can it hold? Well for you it'd be like, how many eggs can you put in this? And yeah, that's right. How many, what's the egg box size? But you know me, I'm taking a real hit in the egg market right now.

I know. Yeah, I know. Yeah, we're all praying for you. Can't be paying 50 cents an egg? You got any in mind? Yeah, I can. Yeah, I saw. Yeah.

Eggs are... You know what's going to be cheaper? Hold on. What's cheaper is I found a scientist who said he can make it so Luke can produce eggs. And that guy for the... I'm going to try to weather the storm that way. Well, I think we should just wrap up the podcast at this point. You think we're good?

Yeah, I think that was the final conclusion. It was mostly ads. I just think altogether, the whole run. The whole run of it is done. Yeah, I think that's a good place to end it. We just got a studio. So after a while, no one would play marbles with him, so he'd have to go over to East St. Louis to find games. And now missing all this school left him somewhat illiterate.

He loved all sports except for swimming, which hurt his ears, so that's why he didn't like it. He really loves baseball, and he joins an amateur team called the Louisville Eclipse when he's a teenager Okay. Now Pete also starts drinking a lot as a teenager good because he's he's in pain all the time from his ears So that's how he? Deals with it. Yeah good. There's a story that he he

Do you ever play keg ball in college? In college? Yeah, where you put a keg at second and then anytime you go to second, anytime you get to second base you slam a beer and then keep running. You never played keg ball? I played keg, what'd you call it, keg ball?

Keg ball. Oh no, I've never played that. So essentially they had what sounded like kegball at third. And there's a story that that's what made him start drinking a lot was one day he did that so he just started hitting the ball as far as he could so he could get to third and drink a beer. Right. But that's clearly a lie.

He was doing it because of the pain. But that's like the myth. Okay. So he would use a lot of stuff to try to deal with the pain and the swelling from his around his lamps too. So baseball fans took notice of Pete after he batted in the winning run during the amateur city championship game. And at 17 his team played against the Louisville pro team, the Grays, and Pete played great. He had a curve ball and a change up. He threw a two hit shutout.

Now Pete's childhood friend, John Ricius, formed a team in 1880, and he went on that, and now Pete's become a bit of a star. He's known as a slugger. He's 6'10", 180 pounds, which for that time is a fucking giant. Yeah, it's a big boy. That's a giant. Yeah, that's big now.

This camera always goes out of focus. I think your camera drinks. Yeah, nothing. Now I still haven't made the connection of who this is, but what year are we in now? Are we? You're not going to know who this is. Oh, okay. Okay. We're in 18, going to know who this is. Okay.

We're in 18, I think 1880 at this point. Okay. So he's big. So most people, the average height at that time is 5'5", and he's 6'1". Can you imagine the women on Tinder how they'd shame the men? I'm just saying we've been through enough. Go ahead. We have, we have.

Quote, long and ungainly, comical and gate and action, singularly tall and slender, slightly stooped. That was the description of it. Who wrote this, Rickles? Someone's very negative. He's a paper man. By the way, it was a better time when you could gate shame. Oh, I gate shame all the time. I stopped doing that. It's just you can't you know, you should do a feller anymore

He's the way to go. Hey buddy that gates wide open. Hmm What are you doing? You got a penguin gate over there? Why are you walking like that? Come on stuff like that that's fun. No, that's Saying I'd like to do it. By the way, you got a sloppy gait. Has anyone ever told you that? Stop it. It's gross.

So he's ugly. He's not a good looking guy. His ears kind of point forward, which is how it was described. So he grows a big bushy mustache as a teenager. Which was a law at the time. Yeah, you had to And he said that it was tied to his hit hitting ability His my answer in his hair. Yeah, so his mustache is where his strength comes from. Yeah So he's obsessed with quote lip whiskers

Mm-hmm. He told another player to shave his mustache to improve his hitting and the player was like, well you have a mustache and you don't, and Pete said quote, Pete is blonde and you're brunette, Billy. A blonde mustache is good for the lamps and black is not. Old Pete's mustache lights up his lamps and gives Pete a good eye.

But a black mustache hurts the lamps and you can't hit the ball so hard. If you had a mustache like old Pete's, you could knock the knots out of the center field fence. Okay. So it's science. No, it isn't. What is he... Is there anything to what he said? First of all, the third person thing is just red flag on red flag. Can't be referred.

Third personing yourself is rough. He always did. Is there anything to what he's saying in any way? Like is a black mustache distracting you in some way? And a blonde one's not there. Absolutely not. As a matter of fact, if anything, a black mustache, because people put the little black eye under their eyes

to the sun. Yeah, it's giving you a little sky shot. If anything, it would do that. But no, there's nothing. There's nothing. It's just lip hair. I just, I'm, I'm very open to science. So that's why I ask. I don't think I'm a big science guy. You are. So that year a newspaper boy on the street as he's coming out of a game yells uh, that president Garfield has died, right? Right. Remember that. And Pete asked, quote, yeah, what league was he in?

Hmm. That's so strange. When and what did he... Before this, the press had mostly ignored his drinking and lifestyle-ish stuff. But after that comment, now they didn't like him. And his relationship with the press changed, and he had a bullseye on his back. Hmm.

That's why you gotta grow a mustache. Now, he also could barely hear, so. Yeah, but he knew, yes, you think maybe he didn't hear. Possibly. Okay. Yeah, that's very possible. Because it is a crazy follow-up to have. It is a very crazy follow-up, what league is it in? Yeah. But he's outside the stadium, whatever. Yeah, it is a crazy follow up to have is very crazy. Follow up. Well, you know, yeah, he is outside the stadium, whatever.

Yeah, it's weird. So questions, but questions are problematic. If you can't hear well, uh, sure. And he, but he does have no interest in current events. He doesn't give a shit. He, I mean the president being killed is, I even call that outside of the current events. But I tell you, there's people that don't know any of this shit. Not watching the Super Bowl, that's a fine one. That's great. So a new baseball league starts in 1882, the American Association.

So right now there's the National League and now along comes the American Association. It played on Sunday, we've talked about this before, it was nicknamed the Beer and Whiskey League, so it's like for the common guy. Before this it was for, you know, fancy. Yes, and the Sunday is a big whoa. Yeah, you're not supposed to do that. So they started playing on Sunday. So Louisville joins that league,

and Pete now becomes a pro. Okay. And he's getting 60 bucks a month, which is 1,900 in our time. Yeah, in our lives, a livable wage? Livable wage, he's 21. Yeah, you can live like a king for 1900. Yeah.

Dude, I saw this thing. I saw this, because I always think that. I'm always like, I could live on ramen, like worst case scenario. You know what I mean? I always do it. Like I could, I just go back to like my 20-ish years. Yeah. I'm like, I could do it.

I saw this woman put ramen under the microscope and oh my God. Why? What happened to the microscope? Let's just say your tapeworms will be wanting more ramen. It's not good. It was violent what she saw. Just a regular pack of ramen. Because I'm always like, they're 10 cents or they were like back then.

Fuck. Nope. just a regular pack of Robin because I'm always like the 10 cents or they were like back then now fuck. Nope. So Pete's 21 now he's a guy he wants to hit the ball hard and far so he is not of the time and and honestly that time didn't come until recently like the past 15 years but before that no one people want to hit for average they wanted they wanted to get you know all kinds of hits but he is a slugger. He's a guy that just wants to hit it as hard and far as he can. You like that change in baseball, so those of you new to the show.

Yes, it's my favorite thing. A lot of sports writers start going after him for not, quote, knocking more grounders. Imagine that error. I know. That's such an error of like. So they thought that that shouldn't be the only thing you should try to do, but this made Pete a fan favorite and he is by far the best hitter. He's hitting the highest average on the team.

He's hitting 414 in July, which is, even for that time, an insane batting average. Yeah, wow. So that means like 40%, you which is, even for that time, an insane batting average. So that means like 40% of, you know, 41% of the time basically is what they're saying. The best hitters now hit like two fucking 50 or like they hit 25% of the time. So during it, and there's only been a couple of guys that have hit over 400 in this season. So during a game in August, Pete makes three errors, and then he makes a base running mistake,

which is so bad that the opposing fans are laughing at him. And good thing he can't hear. I didn't think about that. So papers blame the loss on Pete. Quote, Browning made his appearance on the ball field most palpably under the influence of liquor. His playing and conduct on the field was modeling to the extreme. You know what I love? I love the era where it's like, truly, you're just like, this guy

could just stay sober. The upside is huge. There's a lot of like, you got to coach them up. But if you were, I mean, imagine like drafting a player and just being like, we can get him to stop drinking. This guy could be unreal. Yeah. So it's pretty obvious he's drinking a lot now. Everybody, people are picking up on it. So some writers are saying for the sake of his life, he should be sent to another team who will crack down on this if Louisville's not going to get this guy in shape. Tim Newby, from his book, The Original Louisville Slugger, quote, Pete attributed much of his success at the plate during the 1882 season to chewing gum.

Many players were known to place a piece of gum on their hats for good luck. But Pete, who always did things his own way, plastered it in his eyebrows. Huh? No, no, no, no. No, you're not allowed to talk like that to me. Not on this. Not on any show. What are you talking about? He put chewing gum on his eye. And there's some guy with no mustache. He was like, I should probably stop listening to this guy. I should grow whatever the fuck I want. Blonde. What is he doing? Like, what? He was putting chewing gum on his eyebrows.

Yeah. Yeah. I thought you were going to say he was chewing it. And that was like the revolution. Now he's putting in his eyebrows and putting it in his eyebrows. That's correct. I think this guy is troubled. This is the worst thing I've heard about him. He's leading the league in hitting. He hits 378. I know, but we need to...

378. Someone has to step in. It's not because of that. Whatever you want, all over your face, if you're only 378. Whatever you want. All right, let me put on my gum mask. Pete, are you sure? It's very strange.

But near the end of the season, he does get suspended for an assortment of things, mostly drinking related. The team suspends it. They're like, okay, you're a fucking mess. So the next season, they re-sign him for $200. So he has to play for the, I think he has to play for the same team at this point,

but you're negotiating with the same team every year like you and they'll just meet you. Yeah, so every year It's a different contract. It's not like multi-year contracts So he now signs for $200 a month because he's a great hitter. There has to be some is like, please stop doing the gum eyebrow thing That's that So we're gonna give you the 200 and just if you can remove the thing, the thing about the gum on the face, we would just like that to not not to happen. Well, here's what I'm thinking. First of all, I am going to push back. Well, it's the idea. Hold on. I think the idea is that it's very helpful to put all the gum in my eyebrows. to put all the gum in my eyebrows. So I think I have to keep doing it.

And if anything, I was going to suggest that I put it in my mustache too. I think if I could just kind of tie the look together a little bit and be like a gum face. Isn't that your hitting mustache though? Yeah. Yeah. It's a risk. There's no doubt it's a risk. There's no doubt it's a risk. but I think the upside is more power. The downside is I might slump.

And if I got to reevaluate, I'm just saying I need the gum freedom to kind of find myself. You know? Well, yeah, we would just like to say we would like it if you didn't. Well, I think until we try out the gum stash We're not gonna know and the eyebrows are like I'm not you know what I mean. I'm not I'm not gonna take the gum out of my eyebrows It looks good and everybody is really loving it and it really helps with the game There's a reason why all the kids are doing it. Well, that's one of the reasons we want you to stop. Well, I think it's a movement and a lot of kids are putting gum

in their hair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, the goal, the goal, the goal should be to be as gummed as we can be. Okay. Maybe you should play for another team. I agree. We're not kind of seeing eye to eye and I don't think it's because you're distracted with what's about mine. Well, it's more eye to gum, honestly, because I can't take my eyes off the gum. I think it's brow to eye. Right now, it's the off season and you came to the meeting with gum all over your face. This is the most important time to put the gum on your face.

This is what you train for. What are you talking about? I just the time when you figure out what your gum limits are I Mean I'm not you know, this is I'm working here. You think I want to walk around in a gum mask All right. Thanks for coming in Pete. Thank you for having me and I Haven't heard anything you've said about that. Gum out of the bowl. Put the gum back. I can't hear him. So that season he's tearing it up at the plate again. Local papers begin noting that the whole team seems to be drinking a lot like the entire this is a team of really

Drinkers happens in sports And one paper wrote quote a nine cannot play ball if over one half the players are full of beer And the rest have to do all the playing But that's that's the attitude that makes them overcoming this problem that is normal So so gratifying. Yes. So everyone knows that Pete is now playing plow at a lot of the time, and the papers start calling him out by name, and the players start getting fined for drunkenness. Pete, however, is the only one who can just play hammered fine

It's not uncommon for players to drink a lot back there. Right that season a player on the team had a stroke And then a bunch of players got hurt now, they're probably gonna hurt because Trump rather dehydrated his shit so They had to end one game in the middle of the season because the catcher got hurt and they didn't have enough players. So they had to forfeit the game. So the team's a nightmare, but Pete ends up being the second best hitter

at the end of the season in the league. It's just such a funny, like, it is such a funny hurdle. We could just get these guys to stay sober for their jobs. Upside's huge here. Pete is very into baseball bats. So this is a time when a player would just, if his bat cracked, he would just nail it back together. Absolutely, and for those of us who didn't know that that was a time that existed,

it's pretty earth-shattering information to know that there was a time when players would just nail their bat. You got the bat boy and you got the nail kid. All right? Now you might need to use them both. Who knows? But Pete was a weirdo because he took care of his bats. Other players thought he was the best judge of bats in the country. Like he could see a bat and be like that's a good bat for you. Which is, which is now, which is true. Everybody has a, like you like. This is the mustache guy. No, but you like a different weight and also some guys like the bat to be heavy on the

end. Some a little further down. Like it's a legitimate thing. Take that big one there. Put a little gum up your ass and try to chew it while pitching. Yeah. Put gum up your ass. Try to pitch with the bat.

Did you, Hey, Frankie, did you listen to Pete and put gum up your ass try to pitch with the bat. Did you hey Frankie? Did you listen to Pete and put gum up your ass cuz that's crazy. Yeah He's fucking with you up there. I put a bunch of fucking with you Pete. No, no, he's trying to help me I put a lot of gum up there. How much I put a one an endless amount, you know I'm starting to taste it a little bit. I put we gotta go to the doctor. We gotta go to the doctor Well, no, no, no, no, no. That's bad. That's the guy who's going to try to. No, that's the guy who's going to try to gum you. If I get enough up there, they're saying I could make the Hall of Fame.

Chewing gets harder. Chewing gets harder. But by the way, you want to see a guy blow a bubble through his asshole. No. OK. Bye, Frankie. Goodbye. Wait, don't say goodbye.

I gotta go. I came to help you. I can't help you. Oh, man. I'm so sick from something. Something is wrong. I haven't been able to tell anyone, but I've got... I think I got a disease.

You've got gum up your ass. Stop it. Do you? What? Have gum up? Yes, I got a disease. You got gum up your ass. Stop it. Do you? What? Have gum up? Yes, I just told you. It's like a- Okay, well that's what we're talking about.

That's why you don't feel good. Train up there. Yeah, that's why you don't feel good, kid. Ah, it's just so hard to know what to do. We're in that weird area of time where it's gray. Should you be going to doctors or are they just quacks looking out for their own benefit? Should you be putting like 50 to 60 pieces of gum

up your ass and trying to chew it? What's the line here? Should my mustache be black? Should my eyes be gum? Well, that concludes our hearing with RFK Jr. We want to thank you for stopping by. I'm dating a ferret. So, oh, where was I? Right. So, the bat. So, he's a really good judge of bats. He has an enormous collection of bats.

During a game, he cracked his favorite bat and felt like he quote, had lost one of his best friends. All right. Strange. I know you're kind of defending his skill, but this is, you know, baseball players are very superstitious. He's really superstitious. I know it's a lot of this is you could be like, just to remind you, he's drunk. He goes to a woodmaker in town, Hilleric and Bradspey, and he demands they duplicate it. So there's a 17-year-old kid, Bud Hilleric, and he makes a new bat that's identical in every way.

And this is the first bat ever made to specifications. And it would become, the company would make the Louisville Slugger, which was named after Pete Browning. Wow, that's crazy. And then other players. That's one of those things, those of us who don't know what their story is, we listen to that and we go, now that's something.

That's something I can share at a party. That's crazy though. So they would just be like, here's this bat. Yeah, and they weren't even like a bat, it wasn't like a bat making place, it was just a wood maker. And the guy was like, yeah, I got a lathe, I can do that.

And he made the same bat. And then now everyone's going to them for bats, all the Louisville players are like, and then it takes off, right? Wow. So they become the biggest bat company in like, and then it takes off, right? Wow. So they become the biggest bat company in the world and stay that way forever.

They're still a giant bat company. So to get his bats ready for the season, he would soak them in water. So this is the off season. He soaks them in water, and then he oils them up, and then he rubs them with tobacco juice. Yes, and every step of that is fine. Yes.

Some of us have the gut instinct to be like, well, what? tobacco juice. Yes. And every step of that is fine. Some of us have the gut instinct to be like, well, what? But move through it because this guy's, you know. Makes sense. Yeah, he's throwing a little back on the tobacco juice, you said. Yeah, tobacco juice, he's spitting on it. It's the spit, yeah, exactly. He's spitting on it.

Absolutely. Just make sure that we're all on the same page. This is the thing he starts that also becomes a massive trend. Of course. Ty Cobb, players did it for ever. Yeah, no, it's definitely something that you got to... It's a trend. That's what I was going to say is definitely, you know, you want your gum eyebrows and just be fucking hawking on your bat as much as possible.

Pete also named his bats after biblical figures. We've all done that. When he stopped hitting well with a bat, he retired it to his mom's home, which also was his home. He still lived at home with his mom. Okay. And so he put him in the basement. Sure.

He'd be done as a bat. Right. So the next season, Louisville started very strong, but in May, Pete was having headaches and vertigo. So he finally agrees to have surgery on his eye, I'm sorry, his ear, his ear problem. So this involves draining fluid from the ear. So he gets back a week later, pain's gone. A week later?

A week later he's playing again. You ready to play? Now that we've removed the debilitating. He's just taking the big drill and yeah the water leaks out they go all right get out there. There's just gum coming out of it. Jesus Pete. A lot of gum in here buddy boy. Well he's pain free. It's the first time since childhood that he's pain free so that means he drinks less and hits the fucking shit out of the ball. Okay. But you imagine a guy being on IR because of his ear.

Like it just like every other injuries like he's the guy that has his wrist is hurt his legs hurt. Pete's obviously waiting to come back here. So the team is good, but they slip out of first place so that he overtakes them. They get really frustrated. They start arguing. Pete gets into a fight with another player, and then reporters start attacking the team. And they really went after Pete, attacking Pete for his defense, which is crazy because he's one of the best hitters around.

Right. You take the outside. And it's crazy that they would do that. But again, it goes back to the Garfield thing and the drinking thing. They just don't like him because his defense, his defense isn't that bad. Like statistically, it's not that bad. Like someone was probably like, if they hate you because of the Garfield thing, like the president, the president got shot. Oh, fuck. I thought you guys were talking about the cat.

I thought it was where we parked the car field, the car field. We don't have cars now. Yes, we do. I know a guy who has two cars. God almighty. This whole thing of there weren't cars yet. It's just what a critic says. Those who can't cars can make fun of those of us who think cars might be around.

The expression, it's a bumper sticker I saw. That's a thing you put on a car. So after the surgery, he is worse at defense, but that's because the surgery made his hearing worse. So he's in less pain, but his hearing is worse. Okay. So he really can't hear his teammates, which you need to do in the infield.

And he's just like not catching pop-ups and like, it's bad. So they move him to center field where he doesn't have to talk to anybody. Nice. And he finishes third in hitting that year, hitting 336. The team finished in second. Like a week later, he gets arrested for drunk on public. Sure.

Now Pete also cared for his lamps a lot. Uh huh. Trying to stop the eye pain and the swelling. His lamps? His eyes, his lamps. Oh, his lamps, Jesus Christ. I mean, I remember that fact, but I really was like, this guy has some attachment issues. Quote, you can't line one out unless you got good peepers.

Old Pete knows that and he takes good care of them. He never washes them with soap and water. It won't do. It will ruin the best lamps in the world. Pete closes them up when he is washing. Then he waits until about 10 o'clock when he goes out in the streets and looks right up in the sun two or three times. That opens him up good and then he can line them

out. There is so much wrong about that. He is who the fuck did he who who was the person who was like, nah, you gotta wash your eyeballs with soap and water. That's crazy. Your instinct is to close them. I love how he thinks that's unique. And then he's going out there and he's like, now to damage my corneas on my daily routine. Yeah. He's like, he thinks everyone else washes their eyes with their eyes open with soap and water. Well, that's the problem with like talking in the third person.

It's like a hard conversation to have because you're just fixated on the fact that this guy thinks he's someone else. Yeah. Yeah. No, old Pete doesn't put tobacco juice in his eyes. That would be strange. Yeah. I'm a bit of a weirdo.

I'm an outlier like that. I also won't wash my eyeballs with soap and water. You went right to eyes. You were doing third person and he went right to eye. No, I was saying eyes, not eyes. Listen, old Pete, would you? Good Lord, you people, you just don't get it. Pete drank two glasses of buttermilk at bedtime, which he called the nerve steadier. Okay. I'm not saying all the solutions are gonna come from doctors,

but just having one around just for like, ketchup's every now and then it'd be good. Well, this one, so buttermilk has lutein in it, which is an anti-dioxidant, anti-dioxidant, which helps eyes, helps improve eye function, and does literally help eyes.

So that may be why, but that doesn't explain why he bathed his eyes in buttermilk in the morning. I just, like roommate wise, this is just, his mom was probably like, Pete, have you seen my buttermilk? Took a tumble in over all the bats. You're supposed to drink milk for that effect, buttermilk. But not bathe your eyes in it.

All right. When it rained, Pete would go outside and look up into the sky to rinse out his eyes. Your eyes are self-lubricating pieces of your head. They're really, they're doing their own thing and sure every now and then you might need a little Visine or whatever, but it's just. Yeah. Yep. Yep. OK. He drank two spoonfuls of Worcestershire sauce at dinner. Oh, that is a horrible thing to do shots of.

And he ate Tabasco sauce with mustard and ginger. OK, now he's Luke. So this is not. But you get what he's doing, right? It's making his eyes water. But again, we're like, okay, now I do, but still, no. There's no that your eyes are got this. No. What about this? No. I'm already saying no. When they were on the train going to somewhere, he would stick his head out the window to catch the ashes in his eyes. What are you talking about? The players smoking ashes?

No, from the train. What does he think that? The train engine. Oh, right. What does he think? What does he think? What? What? You want to know why? Yeah. Quote, clinkers are good for the peepers. Let a big one blow in your lamp teens and it will clean them out so you can drive a phony pitcher to drink.

We are fully now in another language. This is now no longer understandable to those of us who thought English would suffice. Let a clink, let a clinker. Yeah. Big, big fucking ash. Big piece of ash go in your eye. Right in the eye. Nope.

And then it's good for the peepers. No it isn't. And then buttermilk. I mean like any, if at any point he were to see an eye doctor, they'd be like, Jesus Christ, Pete. What are you doing? I don't blink during the day.

I just put buttermilk inside of each one of my eyeballs. Well, that explains the white gunk in the corners of your eye. But then you've got like, have you put cigarettes in your eye? You've got to light a little bit of a fire inside your eyeballs. That's why I put cigars out on them. Oh, Pete, Pete! Oh, Pete knows what he's doing. No, no sir.

Yeah, exactly. Sometimes it's good to put a tooth inside of one of your eyes. Just ask old Pete about something like that. Peter? You want to take small splinters and try to blink them through. Keeps the eyes doing the gymnastics. That's a Pete quote. Put it in your bibble. Your Bible. I pronounce it bibble. That's an old quote by old Pete. That's right. If you get a bath that don't work, don't be afraid to try to blink it through your own head. That's a

Pete. You ever chewed gum with your eyes? Give it a shot. Pete said to. Mm-hmm. That's right. Pete. Pete. Hold on. Shut up. Pete donhmm, that's right. Pete, Pete, Pete, hold on, shut up. Pete don't drink with his mouth. Pete uses eye holes. I'll pour a little bit of whiskey down there. That's the best way to digest it. You're good to drive after that, in a car. Pete believes smoking made his eyes better.

Quote, there is nothing like the smoke of a cigarette to put the eyes in trim to solve a twisting, sizzling curve. This is what I don't understand. It is not at any point, he must be talking about the long-term benefits because when I used to paint houses, then it's totally unfelt. He would walk to games smoking and blowing the cigarette into his eyes. Yeah, see when I used to paint and I would be on a ladder, one of the hardest parts was trying to smoke while painting because the cigarettes would,

the smoke would go in your eye and your eyes would burn. You couldn't do it. Well that then they then what then they water and then you're like, oh my eyes are getting better. No I would be like, oh, I can't do this. I have to take breaks. And that's why you didn't play professional baseball, dummy. No, first of all, the attitude. Yeah, yeah. He convinced a teammate, John Riley, to take up smoking.

But Riley eventually stopped when his hitting didn't improve and Pete said that was because he didn't believe in the smoke. Man, so it's like some roguish level. So it's like Christ, that's what we're talking about. Everything that is, I also do love people who think that everything you do should work for them. Yeah. Like there's all, and you're always like, ah, I'm actually good.

It's like, what are you talking about? Put some cantaloupe in your nose. You'd be happy. The next season, the team went back to drinking. So they had that one season off where they played well and came in second, but now they're back to their parting ways. The coach was like, all right, there's one reason why we lost last year and it's fun. Drinking. Drinking is what we need to do harder and better than ever before.

Gareth, one game they committed 17 errors. That's a lot. That's mostly errors. That's shit face ball is what that is. A paper reported they were playing poker and drinking till sunrise. They were getting into fights with people. It's the 1983 season all over again. Pete's hitting is the only good thing happening. He was using enormous bats.

37 inches and 46 ounces. I mean is that at some point do they have to be like, you can't use like a cricket-sized bat out here? No, there's no rules. You can still use any size bat you want. So you could just go out there with a tree? I mean, yes and no. There's probably a specification on the shape of the bat,

but I think in major leagues, you can use any bat you want any size bat you want. Yeah. Pete stepping up to the plate. He's loving his new paddle bat. But the thing is, is like the catcher and the strike zone. I don't think I think most players couldn't swing a bat that size now. That's yeah. But you can just find endlessly.

Yeah. You like very few players could actually swing a bat that big like Pete. It looks like what they use to take pizzas out of the oven. He steps up here. Babe Ruth had an enormous bat to like legendary huge bag. I pissed next to him once in Bush. He got the truth. But now think about this.

So he has a 46 ounce bat, but he's also soaking it. Yes. In water to make it heavier. Yes. So it's really. So that year he wins his second batting title in four years. He hit 362. Gareth We. What a great show we're in the middle of. Yeah Gareth We are brought to you by Hymns. So some people looking for a little boost in the bedroom especially Gareth Reynolds. That's right. Hymns is gonna help you with personalized ED treatment options So some people looking for a little boost in the bedroom, especially Gareth Reynolds. That's right. Hems is Gonna help you with personalized ED treatment OSHA options that are all online

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Yeah, right in the street, yeah. And then they took him to the police station and he, quote, wept himself sober. It's just not good. It's not good that he's trying to do that. It's also bad to have people be like, that's how he got, he cried it out. You know, I should be good to drive. Let me just go have a curbside weep.

He skipped court the next day saying he was tired. That, but I have always said that should be a valid reason. And then the judge just let him off because the judge was like, I love watching you play. Like literally he said he like, he got a lot of joy from watching him so he can go free. This is how the system works. It is how the system works actually. But Pete is now drunk in public regularly and people can't ignore it anymore and everyone's begging him to stop. He's also known to enjoy brothels. And someone starts calling him the Gladiator because of his combative personality when he's drunk

and also because he's standoff with the press and so they start calling him the Gladiator. Okay. Pete never slides, by the way. Hmm, that's an interesting, that tracks. So if you don't know what that is, is when you're running to a base and you, instead of just running to it, you slide into it. Yeah, it's a little. It's illegal, but not illegal, but you get called out in,

like if my son didn't, in a lot of leagues, if you just run to the base and don't slide, they'll call you out because it's dangerous for like 12 year olds to do it. And in my kid's age, they'll just call you out because you're not supposed to do it. So they'll just go, yeah, you're fucking out. You slide, it's baseball.

So it's dangerous to not slide, it's crazy. He's also big. He's big. He's a big guy. It is like a tree running at you. So he said he didn't slide for fear of injury, quote, if I should attempt to slide into a base, my legs would drop off. Well, I guess if it's founded on medical science.

I'm sure a doctor explained that to him. So listen, Pete, sliding is out of the question for you. Everything you're doing right now, medically, we're clearing you. We're loving the ashy eyes. We're thinking the gum eyebrows is just working great for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your level of drinking is phenomenal. Good.

Thank you. No notes there. I'm trying. The only issue is your legs are attached. is phenomenal. Good. Thank you. No, no, it's there. I'm trying. The only issue is your legs are, they're attached. Don't get us wrong. Yeah. But you have one slide away or a couple slides away from potentially your legs.

I'm trying to think of how to put this medically. Well, they could fall off. I've seen it happen to a lot of baseball players. Your legs could slide. Slide. Your legs could slide. Your legs could slide. And then next thing you know, you get up at second, you're considered safe, and nobody knows

where your legs are. Maybe a sandworm ate them, or who knows? I mean, there's just a ton of rational reasons why you shouldn't be sliding. Doctor? Yes. I do not want that to happen. No, and that's why we're glad you came in.

So just run everywhere. Never slide. Okay. I would also recommend sleeping up like a horse. You just don't want to give your legs a reason to drop off. Sure. Which they will very likely do if you're not careful. Well that makes sense.

Yeah, I mean this is just sorta, you know, again, 10 years ago, people would have said slide your legs will stay on, but we've made some real big advancements in the last decade. All right. Well, as payment, I'm going to hit you with this bat. Oh, great. Yeah. Give me that twice too, because this was a long visit.

There is one. That's nice. Now, there was another reason Pete didn't slide quote, there is no use soiling your clothes and increasing your laundry bills when you don't have to. The fact that this guy is blinking ash and saying that laundry is kind of a flag for him. A lot of people thought he could be the best baserunner in America if he would just slide. At the start of the 1886 season, right after a win, he celebrated by drinking quote, unknown

quantities of intoxicants after the game and at night spreading the terror throughout the city. Is he Godzilla? Unknown quantities. Oh man. So the manager heard he was out, he was whooping. He kept whooping and everyone could hear him and the manager followed the whoops

and found where he was and find him on the spot $25 for... Wow. Yeah. For whooping, for public whooping. Now Pete did not come to the game the next day. Oh, he's tired. Well, he did come, but he wasn't on the field. He was in the stands crying. That's... Boy, this is tough. There's some obviously arrested development in some of this, but it's strange for you

to be like, God damn it, where is he? Like, hey, hey, Skip, I don't want to freak you out, but I do think Pete's here. Well, get him suited up. Let's go. I think he's actually watching the game. What? But he's crying his face off up there. Now, paper's also started saying he couldn't write. But he's crying his face off up there.

Now, papers also started saying he couldn't write. So Pete sent his autograph to the Courier Journal, as like a retort. Unfortunately, it was barely legible, and they printed it in an article titled, Browning Can Write, and then this did more harm than good because his first and last names were misspelled. Well, that, yeah, there's, it's not great.

It's also really shitty to be publicly like, he can't really write. Yeah. Especially at this time when tons of people can't. But then it's also a crazy move to just be like, yeah, I can write. Look at my signature. Game over. Look at that thing. That's two

words. But his illiteracy is overblown. According to the 1900 census, it said he could read and write. And also, stories through his life validated that he could read and write. And years later- How's the census validated? I think you did mark illiterate or not, or something like that. Well, he probably couldn't read what he was marking. How's the sense of validating? I think you did mark like illiterate or not or something like that. I think that they did. Well, he probably couldn't read what he was marking.

Maybe. Years later, since that inquire said he read a paper every day no matter what time he said. So he could. That's another thing that got blown up that wasn't true. So midway through the season, he was leading the league in hitting, but the papers were attacking his defense. He's really drunk some games, but at one at one point he had a 24 game hitting streak Pete said it ended because he lost the loaded die that he kept in his hip pocket

What a load diving is a diet? You know paradise and cheat with What's each? Oh, he's cheating. So I think a lot of dyes. It's a cheat Yeah, so it's a superstitious thing. He keeps a die in his pocket. But drunk Pete kept making horrible errors so the team suspends him for a month. The sporting news quote,

"'It is plainly evident to everybody here, "'apart from his disposition to drink hard, "'Brownie is physically unable to play ball.'" So they either sent him or he goes on his own to a resort to sober up. A reporter said he- A resort's such a great tour. Welcome to Sobriety Island. Could you like a mic time, my friend?

Oh, you're going to love it out here. A reporter said he went there and that Pete had a hard time drinking water because he wasn't used to it, and they had a picture of a distillery hanging in his room to make him feel better. That is a wild call. Oh my god. And here you are, Pete.

We're going to move on to a new life with no alcohol. And just so you understand how important that is, where is a picture of you getting shit-faced in a vat that doesn't exist? There you are. So we want to get you off of hard odds. Here's some porn. It's really, yeah. So, um, Pete comes back to the team and said he was, quote, new as a schoolboy and he's playing great. Okay. Comes back playing great, but he's also drinking. He's Pete's drinking again. Good. Good. There were a string of nights of just

drinking in town and the team finishes fourth. So, Pete's third in hitting this year. So, he's still drunk. One of the best fucking hitters in baseball. But he is finally sliding. He's 26. He's getting more. It's so funny when you hear when you're me listening to these stories. You really are going 41. And you're like he was nine years old. He's getting more irritable, which is common with mastoiditis. So the next season more the same up and down performances. One point the police were called because he was drunk on a streetcar demanding to pay a fare with a check. I've done that though. The Courier Journal nicknamed him Pete Brown Jug Browning.

Because he's just fucking pounding whiskey. But then he started playing so well, did they change it to the old war horse? Oh my God, quit, just let him live. Stop trying to label everything. Oh shit. In August he was drinking so much that he fell down twice during a game. Well, that slide, call it a slide. Slide, in the outfield. He was in the outfield.

I slid. I was trying to edge the defensive maneuvering to get out of the way. The worse the team did, the more that Pete drank. And for the last away games, he goes on a bender and he just disappears. He doesn't go to like two games. No one knows where he is. And then he misses the team, whatever it is, bus, ride home, the train, whatever.

He misses it. He doesn't go back with him. They don't know where he is. And then he shows up for the last home game of the season and the crowd jeers and hisses him. And then afterwards he hits every slune on the main drag in town. By 9 p.m. he was seen holding his bat and weeping on the street.

Jesus Christ, there's some real darkness. Because he had hit 4-0-2 that season and lost the batting title to a Canadian. That's why he's weeping? Yeah, because he lost the batting title. That's why he's weeping. But he hit 4-0-2 and lost to a Canadian. What the fuck is that? I'm also a little worried about the level of crying from an adult man. It's not great

It's a bit. It's a bit troubling. Yeah Yeah, you see Trouble is because you've got ash in your eyes Other stuff you've been putting in your lamps. And buttermilk. Yeah, buttermilk and ash is not a great thing for lamps. So, a couple days later, a very drunk Pete is on the street and he asks the cops for protection because he says the Canadian guy is following him with a knife and wants to kill him.

This is getting strange now. Two days later, he paid his seasoned bar tabs, which are bars all over town. $255, which is $9,500 today. It's just quite a tab. After paying it, he swears off booze forever. He's like, that is it. This is crazy. The Louisville commercial paper quote, Pete will either have to play ball or drink whiskey next year. He cannot do both. Okay. The team said next season,

his first drinking events would offense would get him suspended for the season. And Pete said quote, I can't hit the ball until I hit the bottle He ran for councilman it's for some reason lost You see this in comics sometimes or it's like I can't go on stage unless I have a buzz going Yeah, yeah, yeah like using your occupation as a drink crutch It's now obvious he was holding out every year till the last minute to sign with the team because he was avoiding preseason conditioning. Pete, quote, I won't sign because I don't want to be converted into a race

horse and made to run five or six times a day, five or six miles a day around the racetrack, so he just doesn't want to work out. Yeah, well it's like you're an athlete. Yeah, but yeah. Right. The players get new rules. They have to be in bed at 1130 p.m. and no drinking. Those rules seem very standard now. Pete, very sober for April.

So sober that everybody nnamed Prohibition Pete. It's maybe time to stop nicknaming everything else. The nicknames don't help. Has to be a phase. Yeah, it's all just fucking with somebody, right? And then he fell apart in May. Old Petey Problems is back. But then he found that he got himself a dog, and that seemed to help old Petey Petz, right over there.

He's not hitting well, right? That's what he said, he's sober. It's probably in his head, a big part of hitting is just the pure confidence of thinking you're a hitter. Well, that's why we call him Petey Psyche Yes, he's got a bit of an issue a psyche pity psyche So he's not hitting good and reporters asked if that's because he's not drinking the same people that were like Yeah, stop drinking this guy camp and then they're like, why don't you have a nip? Yeah So then the team gets sold and the previous owner,

so all those guys that he played marbles, the guys that he played hooky with, a bunch of them go into baseball. There's a guy on the team that was one of his good friends when he was a kid. Okay. And then other guys go on to own teams and manage and stuff. So the guy who owned the team was one of his friends.

So he's gone now. And the new owner comes in and in Kansas City Pete gets really shit face and decides to go fishing. So he gets his gear where it puts on all his fishing gear and then he passes out in the hotel doorway. Oh, Petey pass outs. And a reporter exaggerated what happened and said Pete had gone fishing in the hotel rain gutter. Well, there's a big difference. There's a big difference.

There's a big difference between the two. There's a big difference. By the way, imagine how great would that be? I think I caught one. I caught it. What's this? What's this? What's this?

Fish? I think it's a trout. Yeah. Yeah. That's a leaf. Leaf. Yeah, it is a leaf. Sorry. I'm not very good at this. So this Porter exaggerates and then all these other papers start picking it up. Like now he's a big joke around the country, not just in Louisville. Kids start making fun of him. In June, though, he starts hitting again. In July, he misses a game because he's... Drunk?

...out drinking. And then a little while later, he gets injured, and then being injured causes him to drink more, and then he gets arrested for being drunk, but he says it's because it's just the medicine from his injury. It's just the medicine from his injury? Yeah, the medicine is making him act like that. Not the- Oh, medicine. Okay.

So, now he hears that the team is not going to take him. He's bottoming out, so they're not going to take him on the next road trip. They're like, we can't. We can't even manage this. So he asks for a meeting with the manager and the owner, and Pete shows up to the meeting with two black eyes. Pete Slauson All right. Would you want to see me skip? Pete Slauson He said he fell down.

Pete Slauson Yeah. We've all done that. Nose first. Pete Slauson I'm also picturing the gum eyebrows still. Pete Slauson What's worse? I'm also picturing the gum eyebrows still. What's worse, getting into a fist fight or falling face down and getting two black eyes? I think fists. Yeah, me too.

So the team goes on the road trip with Adam. He's on the bus weeping. All right. My wife's going to talk to her later. without him. He's on the bus weeping. My wife's gonna talk to her later. And then when they leave without him, Pete says he is the saddest man in Louisville. Oh, that's tough. So two days later, Pete gets drunk and gets on a streetcar and sits down by a councilman.

This is a guy who doesn't know it all. And he takes the cigar out of the councilman's mouth and throws it down and takes his own cigar and puts it in the councilman's mouth. But that's funny. That's a funny thing to do. I guess if you're not drunk, it's not cool, but when you're drunk,

it's a very funny thing to do to someone. And the councilman is a non-drinker, so Pete forces him out of the streetcar and into a saloon and makes him drink all night. Sounds like the councilman might have been a drinker. So now- Petey pressure. For some reason, Pete's friends are getting worried about him. What do you think it is?

I don't know. Maybe the buttermilk? Yeah. The Courier Journal quote, many think that sorrow is causing him to lose his mind. Oh, stop. Now. We're not playing on the team. That's what they say. After all this. The fucking guy didn't take him on the road trip. Yeah. Stop diagnosing him. the road trip. Yeah, stop diagnosing him. So his team sucks without him, which is what he said was going to happen when they said he can't go.

He's like, you guys are going to suck, but they do. They really suck without him. But they come back and they hear what's happened with the councilman and they're like, yeah, no, and they just suspend him for the rest of the year. They're like, we're done. Okay. So now there's a lot of people are like, they're going to trade them to another team. And they keep seeing him in the stands crying or just being sad.

So weird to be showing up to this. It's like you don't go to your ex's wedding and have a weep in the crowd. You know what I mean? Like you got to move on to some extent. Then he goes to talk to the new owner and the new owner is like, okay, you can play if you stop drinking. If I only drink. Stop drinking. If I drink more? Stop.

If you stop drinking. No drinking. I'll fill my bat with whiskey and drink out of it before I hit. If you stop drinking. I'll wear a whiskey outfit and pretend I'm a bottle for punching it. No, so no drinking at all. Right. Or wear a whiskey outfit and pretend I'm a bottle for punching it. So no drinking at all. Right.

Until I'm batting. Or until the game starts. Drink on. So, all right, we're meeting somewhere good now. We're not. We're getting through this, communicate a little bit, some wise. I will drink for games exclusively and only after the game. And then in between days of games, we'll just revisit it when we get there and see how the game and then in between days of games, which is revisited when we

get there to see how the hits are going. The streak is going of hitting. Yeah. So we're not going to do that. Yeah. Well, I think we got a good understanding and it's just, I wish I celebrate the deal with a bit of whiskey, but then we'll say that that's only for signings, for hitting, for days in between, and if you catch the ball. Plus I need five days off to weep at the games where I won't be participating

every year, but I think that that's good for us. So we'll do a weep. Let's get our hands in. Let's get our hands in. Petey Palms, come on, let's get our hands in. Go Petey Palms, come on, let's carry hands in. Go Petey. I gotta be honest, I don't remember the beginning of this interaction, so I'm a little lost as to where it is. But the energy's right on time and good. All right. So, he also said, besides not drinking,

a doctor would have to give him approval to play Okay so This is it but just so you know Dave this story what is crazy, what do you think's gonna happen I Think he's gonna drink a doctor gets him his doctors like yeah, I'll go tell the owner you can play, of course. Yeah, he's in tip-tap shape. He's never been better. So, yeah, so the doctor goes, you can go play.

And now, the new season coming, the new owner has very contentious negotiations with them. So this is a brand new owner, and he's a dick in negotiating everyone's contract. He's the fucking asshole. Oh, he just ran out. And all the players are feeling angry and disrespected. He stops giving it, so everyone gets an advance.

It's like, we'll sign for 3,000 for the year, and I'll give you 1,000 up front. But now he's like, I'm not doing that. He's not giving them the rest. No advance money. Okay. And then he starts going into saloons at night and looking for players to see if they're drinking And then he would find them on the spot on the spot. I'd be like you find 25

So obviously this happens to pete a lot. Yeah And then he hires a new manager. He's a fucking dick And team morale is just gone right after a few games, the players are like, we're going to go on strike if this shit keeps up. They want the manager fired. And they want to be able to drink. They want to be able to drink.

But mostly they want the manager fired and they have six of them go on strike and he does get fired. But then, you know, they keep playing, but they're awful. They don't want to be playing for this guy. They lose 21 to two to Brooklyn. Jesus. The Courier Journal quote, Louisville attempted to play against Brooklyn. The details are too horrible to mention.

Tough. So Pete's not good. A paper said it looked like his playing days are over. OK. As the team lost more, the owner starts finding the players more and more. And he's using the fines to cover payroll. I was just gonna say, it's like, it's definitely a good tactic to be like, I'm taking your contract back.

Yeah, right. And the fines are getting higher and they're getting random. He find Pete and two players for arguing with each other. Yeah, no more fighting, no more talking in general. That's 50 bucks each. He find them for making errors. You guys are supposed to be playing well.

That's a fine. And then after they lost the game, Pete threw his bat in the river and he find him 100. That's $100 right there. That's a river fee. 100, you got him 100. That's a river fee right there. What are you kidding? It's got nothing hundred dollars right there. That's a river fee right there. What are you kidding? What's got to do with him?

So now the players are threatening to go on strike over the fines and the league, the league gets involved because it's crazy. Like, this is crazy. And other team owners, you know, are like, OK, the league office will mediate all this shit. Just keep playing. So they do.

But they haven't been paid in a month now. And they have a 26 game losing streak. Oh my God. And in that he keeps finding them. So all the fans, the new owner is just a crazy villain, like just a villain. And at the end of the losing streak, they go to get their paychecks and only two get paid very small amounts. I love the idea that he's like, all right, we can pay him and pay him and that's it. That's right. He pays two players. The rest are told they owe the team money.

As a matter of fact, you're lucky we didn't give you bills. Two of them got paid. You know, being an owner is not that hard. It's really quite fun when you think about it the way I do. You guys play baseball for me, and then you give me a couple hundred bucks. All right, look, you guys made a lot of errors, so we'll call it a wash. Pete owed the team the most, $325.

It's crazy. But Pete is only upset about $1. Quote, that is $1. That is for a bat that was stolen from me at McKeesport. I have bought all my sticks this season. At McKeesport, someone stole one of the bats out of my bag and now Davidson has charged me one dollar It's amazing to only take issue with that after all this now. Hold on. This is bullshit The other ones were probably all for drinking and he's like that bat was stolen. Okay, sure so now

And we covered the players union. so the players union has just been formed. Okay, it's bad news. And so they create a Louisville chapter, the players. Now, the owner runs out of money, and he has to just turn the team over to the league on July 2nd, and at that point, the players have been borrowing money from opposing players and selling their belongings just to eat.

We don't have balls anymore. Can you imagine a time where the rich guy can't pay for what he thought he was going to and eventually can't be bailed out, so just goes with nothing? Can't. Strange. Can't. and then it all falls apart So they find a new buyer for the team The new owners are nice and they pay all the back pay that they didn't have to okay As for Pete he is hurt for a week and then he just kind of disappears and

Then shows up after 11 days and says he was just at home with his mom. Okay sure. Yeah yeah. And then he doesn't hit well in August and they cut him. Okay. They're very bad without him. They finished this season. 27 wins and 111 losses. Fuck. It's still one of the worst seasons of all time in baseball. People would talk about this season for years. Pete hit his worst ever 256.

Still. Well today that would be a good hitter, but. Yeah. Yeah. A new team, the Cleveland Infants signed Pete. Go ahead. Why? When we had to change the name. Did we not just go away from Indians to Infants?

Cause you're a bunch of little cry babies who had to change your name cause you little weepies. It took you so long cause you're a bunch of little cry babies who had to change your name because you little weepies took you so long because you're a bunch of little toddlers. All right. Something that's going to instill fear in the other team. We're not Cleveland Infants. Well, they're part of the new players league, which we talked about in the union one. So the brotherhood of players created their own league, a union based league.

Where the Brooklyn babies with poopy diapers. They got financial backers, but to treat the players better basically. Yeah, with the little people. Where the Dallas Diaries. It got paid $3,000. Okay. But it's in his contract. He can't drink. That's what, if you're in charge, that is what you do.

We'll give you all the money you want. You just can't drink for the whole season. Yeah. Otherwise it's a poison pill. Well, Pete said he'd been drinking Kentucky dry for 10 years so he could take one off. I don't think that's how alcoholism works. It makes sense. No, it doesn't because it's actually, no, that's not alcoholism works. I don't think it does. No, no, no. It makes sense, Garrett. Think about it.

It doesn't because it's actually... You take one off. No, that's not how... You put 10 in. No, but if you've got anything that tells you he's more addicted than... Easy to take one off because you put 10 in. I don't think it's the way that it actually works. That's literally how drinking works.

I am pretty sure it's wrong. He actually asked for that to be in the contract because he thought it would stop him from drinking. Yeah. because he thought it would stop him from drinking. Isn't there that app where it's like you bet on yourself to lose weight? It's like some crazy tier thing where it's like, I can't remember what it is. It's good though. It shows you were in a good spot. It sounds great. One of the main investors in the infants is one of his childhood buddies also.

So Pete says he has been freed from quote baseball bondage and he promises that he will start sliding. Okay. He starts the season on fire and people are like, why did Louisville let this guy go? But the effects of the mastoiditis are getting worse. His legs fell off yesterday. He misses four games in June. Heat makes it worse.

So he's, you know, you're out in the sun all the time. It just, it can't work. Well, he's looking into it. The ballpark, this ballpark has trees in left field. Which is fine to picture. Well, in one game, so there are apple trees. Of course. You don't need to tell me that there are fruit-bearing trees. So there's apples on the ground in the outfield. So one game he hit a ball in the center field

that picked up an apple, threw it in to trick him, and then he stopped it second thing the ball was there, but it was an apple so the guy held them to a double Did we pass the Apple rules in the game? No more tossing apples they make it look like baseballs this Christ Okay, so there's trees out there. Imagine playing under an apple tree. Yeah, I don't know what's happening. I mean, the ball would go through the tree sometime, you would think.

That's just crazy. So, there's trees, which means shade. And the shade, but the shade with the way the sun was at that time of year is deep in the field. So he would play too far, too deep in the outfield. And the coach would be like, come in a little and he'd just keep going back into the shade.

No, it's nice. It's way cooler. One hot day in the middle of the game, he calls time out and he runs in from the outfield and he runs into the dugout and he goes over to a water cooler and he pulls out a wet cabbage leaf and puts it under his hat and then runs back out into the field.

Okay. All right. Good. Just. Okay. I don't know how much can we. We've got to be done here, right? I mean, what are we doing?

What are we doing? He's doing cabbage head stuff. He's putting, he calls time out. So it's like emergencies. I mean, I thought I'd be able to get through without the cabbage head. He didn't make it to the eighth inning. So my God. And then after the game reporters, it tastes like shit.

Guys, stop putting your cabbage in the water. After the game reporters asked him about it. And Pete said, quote, there is nothing like a cabbage leaf for the head and lamps. And that's right. It's just, it's a lot of stuff. Like reporters must have been like, bring an extra pen. This guy's real good. Oh, my God, the lamps. It's good for god the lamps it's good for your head it's

good for your eyes. So Pete stays mostly sober he started going to temperance meetings. Now here's the hard part teammates and fans are always trying to get him to drink because they want to drink with the drunk guy. Right. Right it's his reputation. He told the reporter quote I never knew what it was to go to trying to get him to drink. Because they want to drink with the drunk guy. Right? Right? It's his reputation. He told the reporter quote, "'I never knew what it was to go to bed sober "'until the 14th of last August.

"'I have better sleep, have an awful appetite, "'can hit the ball harder and more often than ever. "'And when salary day comes, I have more to my credit "'than I ever had before. "'A player cannot drink beer and play ball. It's hard to not picture this being done without cabbage on his head. I've had a breakthrough.

Being an athlete is difficult. And then he put cabbage on his head and just two cartons of buttermilk on his eyes. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to put cabbage on my head and drown my eyes in buttermilk. So he has, the whole country is now writing about his amazing season. Pete quote, I've been the best batter and fielder

in the country for 10 years, but I didn't know it until this season. He's very attached to the bat that he's using this season. It's one he had made. In a late season important game against New York, some of the fans of the opposing team hide his bat. This is not okay. And Pete refuses to hit.

And so the game stops. Also not okay. And also strange. So nobody's in the zone of doing anything proper? Nobody's, the game's not going to start. And finally the fans give the bat back to Pete who just won't hit without it. Wild. Bat Erie wins another batting title.

It's his third. Pete credited his custom made bat and then it was stolen after his last bat of the season right off the field near the bench. Someone just took it. The team sucked. Seventh place, Louisville wins the World Series. So the team said he's not. Oh, that's tough.

Yeah. After the season, people told, Pete told people, he gets to the train station, he tells these people in Louisville that the press had mistreated him and the fans didn't give him enough respect. So he's talking shit about the, even though he was the junk guy, whatever. Yeah. He's crying like an infant would.

Now the three leagues have basically destroyed each other. And then the PL is folded into the NL and the AA is still there, but it's barely hanging on. And the next year Pete signs with Pittsburgh and now Louisville fans are pissed because they're like, well, he'll come back to us after his good season. The Owensboro messenger quote the whole state will of course sympathize with Louisville and the loss of her beloved Pete Browning, the drunken bum whom the baseball idiots of that town slobber over so disgustingly. Wow. unbiasedly yours. So going into the next season, the Maseratitis causing him problems. Starting in preseason, the first week of the season,

he shaves his eyelashes off. No, no, no. So they won't obstruct my lamps. Now that, now that works. Okay. He really. That's a, that's. Listen, I'm not saying that you can't live a life without them, but they're, they're guardian.

They're there to help you. God. His optometrist was like, please stop going rogue. You need those. Goes into the barber, just a little off the sides, leave the mustache obviously, and then lose the lashes. Yeah, no, don't touch the gum. Lose the, yeah, leave the gum.

Obviously that's good to go, but the lashes gotta go. Could you put some, take out the lashes and put a little Bubblicious in the... Is it possible to just have gum eyes? So Pittsburgh is terrible. It's a terrible team. They're worst in the league. They're tied for worst in the league. This Lamps fetish of his has really not helped. Yeah, he gets released Okay, four days later. He signs with Cincinnati who are the other worst team in the league, okay?

So he's there's another great hitter on The team who has sticky fingers when it comes to bats. So Pete padlocks his locker That's just fucking strange but he stays sober it's a struggle but he stays sober okay a reporter quote fully 50 times I've seen him surrounded by a crowd of half inebriated sportsmen laughing at him sarcastically and begging him to come to the bar and he's just holding his bat. Yeah, so sobriety for him is like Sounds like way harder than a lot of people. Well, I think we've talked about it's

Like there is something when you try to make lifestyle changes that benefit you your old friends are like he quit Yeah, so that's why a lot of people talk shit about alcohol and alcoholics anonymous But you get to go find people who will help you stay sober. So if you think it's like a bad thing, you don't get what the fuck it is. That's a big part of it. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. So, so he stayed sober, but, and he hits well when he's sober, he's hitting well. So he, he, he's on, he's on pace to win the batting title. He's like coming up on a guy, he's hitting, he's starting to hit better, and then someone throws a pitch at him and he puts up his hand to stop it and breaks his hand. Mm, normally that works.

Yeah, you would think so. But so he doesn't win the title. After the season, the AA folds. So that leaves just the National League. Okay. And he signs with Louisville again. Okay, he's back. But he starts out not hitting well.

He said his head was stopped up. Yeah, mugs full of buttermilk. Quote, when you're stopped up, your lamps ain't right. Yep, absolutely. Again, no need to consult any medical person. That makes sense. No, you've got a stopped up head. It's like a drain, it's clogged.

The team released him. Uh-huh, okay. And he signs back with Cincinnati. His hitting comes back to form, but his fielding is... Well, it's a little bit odd, Gareth. Hmm. He stopped getting ground balls with his glove. Dave, I just want to be clear that that's a tough start. He's letting them hit his feet and shins.

So he's just a hockey goalie in his mind? And this for people watching is a spectacular lack of defensive effort that really no one has ever seen before. Yeah, no, it's not a technique that you've ever seen replicated. I don't know a lot about baseball, but I know nobody's ever treated their legs as the first line of defense. It would be an insane move. And then in the middle of July, he's sick for two days and the team cuts him, which Pete is shocked because he is hitting the shit out of the ball. Yeah, Pete, it's just you stopped using your glove.

Yeah, there's no kicking the ball thing that's weird for him. Trying to stop everything with your legs has really not helped you. You won't slide, but you'll take every ball to the knee. He signs with Cincinnati again. OK. Because the player who they had signed to replace him was too much of a drunk. Okay. So they brought in Pete.

Perfect. His second game back Pete is removed from the game due to vertigo. Now the writer, the writer of this really good book Tim newbie the original Louisville slugger He thinks that that's because he has vertigo. Yeah, and that's why he's not bending down and get at the ball That's why he's like okay Okay, because he thinks so he thinks like that's what's fucking him up, which makes totally make sense, right? It's cuz there's well, here's what makes sense. There's no other justification It would make sense, right? It sure would make sense, because there's, well, here's what makes sense. There's no other justification.

Yeah. There really isn't. To just be like, my legs will do it. Yeah. So he gets removed for vertigo, and that season he hits 292. So decent. Decent? That's good.

Yeah. No teams try to sign him for the next season, and he announces his retirement on March And that season he hits 292. So decent. That's good. That's good. No teams try to sign him for the next season. And he announces his retirement on March 25th, 1893, and says he wants to open a billiards saloon. Okay. But when teams come to town, he keeps hanging around with the manager, hoping he'll get signed.

Okay. On May 26th, Louisville signs him and he replaces the player that he replaced in Cincinnati, the junk guy. That guy's really doing him favors. Who was again released for excessive drinking. This was the guy. This guy could really use Pete. I think we talked about this guy in the Vander Hey episode. He's the guy who kept

beers outside outside the outfield fence. Near the apple trees. Yes. So he plays well for Cincinnati. I know for Louisville I mean, the team's really bad though, as usual Louisville sucks. But he he's clearly lost a step now. The mastoiditis is causing Louisville I mean the team's really bad though as usual Louisville sucks but he he's clearly lost a step now the mastoiditis is causing a lot more pain he misses a game in July due to quote violent pains in his head and then addressing the words that he explains how he's feeling yeah and then another

four games he misses with theigo. But at the end of July he is hitting over 400. Oh shit. So he's back. Back. Amazing average. And then they cut him. Did the announcer ever go, oh that ball's vertigo, go, go, that ball's vertigo. You wanted to say that so bad you ignored what I said, which is very important. And what I said was for really bad pun that you should be ashamed of. No, no. First of all, no, this is a no. You're like Pete.

You can't feel shame. That's don't compare me to Pete. First of all, you should be you should be weeping. I don't know where you're vertigoing with this. So Pete is cut, hitting over 400. Okay. Why? Just because?

No reason is given. So he's vertigoing. And he storms out of the clubhouse. The team is basically managed by idiots who just make bananas decisions. So who knows why they did it? Maybe to save money. So he just now drops out of the public eye at that point and at the end of the season the Courier Journal wrote that Pete was quote

mashing the pretty girls on 4th Avenue after the matinees. That's alright. That's alright. So he's actually making out I think. I don't think it means yeah. He's not like grabbing them. Yeah he's not like it's I don't think it's bad So right he still live with his mom anyway, like Anyway, some little women love that. Yeah So he signs with Alan town, which is a minor league team in Pennsylvania owned by a childhood friend And it is managed by this really hard-drinking guy named Mike King Kelly by this really hard drinking guy named Mike King Kelly.

Kelly was once asked to be drunk while playing and he said, quote, it depends on the length of the game. That's true. I think there's a requirement. If it goes too long, you have to. Mike Kelly would die at 36 from drinking. Which is a full life back then. People are probably astounded by that number. That was a full life back then. People are probably astounded by that number. That was a full life.

So for two months, Pete is the best player on the team, and then again, randomly released. And then he signs on with the team in Georgetown, Kentucky, and then he gets signed by Brooklyn to play the last two games of the season, which would be in Louisville, where fans, so it's like a say goodbye to the fans kind of thing. So loud cheering and they're all very happy.

He gets two hits. They're the final two hits of his career. And he played on some amateur local teams, but that's about it. He was trying to catch on for a while, but it was over. So Pete now has a basement full of bats and he can tell you what he had done with each one. So people would come over and he'd be like,

that one was the double in Louisville on July whatever, and he would just go through each bat and tell you every single thing that had happened with each bat. He'd give people tours. He tried to talk about it as glory days to anyone. Yeah, the bad thing I think he'd be like, all right, cool, I'm good.

Well, it would be cool for like the first four, you'd point and, all right, cool. I'm good Well, you well It would be cool for like the first four you'd point go that one now and then after that it's another 200 baths You're like, yeah, I don't have I don't have all my dollars. Yeah He opens a billiards hall named the gladi. But without baseball, he's just lost. He runs for city councilman again and loses. I will keep the cigar in my mouth no matter what a drunk does. Louisville drops out of the National League in 1899. I think they're the last team to lose a baseball team and not have it

replaced until Montreal in like 2004 or whatever that was. Quite a run. Yeah. He lived comfortably off money he made from playing baseball, but he still just wants to play. He made it known in 1900 that he would play for any team as a quote, reserved slugger. So just like a pinch hitter, a guy comes in at the end to try to hit home run. He's living a sad lonely life. In 1905, he was hospitalized for insanity. Even though he is not a danger to anyone or himself, it turns out he just had an abscess on his brain. But they were like, yeah, he's nuts. You mean it was all clogged up?

Yeah, he's clawed. mean it was all clogged up? Yeah, he had the clogs. And the clog. They just had to poke the lamps. Yeah, yeah, just a little lamp, yeah. So they drained, they drained the abscess, or whatever they do to it, and then once it was resolved, he was discharged, but his health deteriorated after that.

He had mastoid surgery, and then he had a breast tumor and he died straddled by his family on March 16th, 1907. There's a bunch of not true stories about Pete, which you don't need to do. I'm hoping we just heard some of them. Well, which you don't need to do based on what I just read to you. You don't need to make them up. Yeah, it is fully a life of, I mean, this is Rube Jr.

Yeah. He's not in the Hall of Fame, which he should be because of the hitting. Um, much like he rose and Barry, but while he wasn't very bonds aren't also like the hall is a fucking. So Hall of Fame, to be fair, they couldn't fit Barry Bonds bust head in the Hall of Fame. But the Hall of Fame is not like, how good of a person are you? Because if you're a good person, shitloads of people wouldn't be in there. Or if you didn't- Is Ty Cobb in the Hall of Fame?

I think he is, yeah. Yeah, he's got to be in it. But it doesn't matter. So you gambled, so you fucking did, everyone was doing steroids. It's just like, put them all in because it's about how they played the game. And this guy should be in the Hall of Fame simply for ordering the first bat that then led to guys making bats. As well as being the first guy to stop balls with his legs.

I mean, yeah. So you lead the league in batting three years, you're a Hall of Famer. So he's not in the Hall of Fame. Anyway, this is based on the original Louisville Slugger, The Life and Times of Forgotten Baseball Legend Tim Browning by Tim Newby and a recream for a gladiator, Pete Browning by Philip von Borey's in the baseball research journal. Wow. That's a, that's a, that's an exit. That's how you do a life.

I mean, you live hard, right? Live hard and you don't listen to any convection. There's no convention that makes you say, yeah, right. I would like putting buttermilk in your eyes, letting the ash go on, stopping balls with your legs because of your vertigo. There is no, there is no, what you would call it, like, there's no real doctor, there's no real cures for any of that time. So you're really just kind of going with, you know, household cures and shit people say, like it's, or just trying to figure it out and going, well, that buttermilk feels good. Yeah.

Right? Look, I've never been closer to buttermilking my eyes, if that's what you're asking. I should show you a picture of him. Oh, yeah. Let's have a look at this. Look it up. Look up Pete Browning baseball and you'll see a picture. And he really is a goofy looking dude.

Yeah, but he should be a Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa He looks like a Daniel Day-Lewis character. Yeah, he does. He really does. Wow, you weren't kidding. That mustache is no fucking joke. Those ears are enormous. I'm more impressed that they had baseball cards back then. Yeah, yeah, right? Look at him. Yeah, I think if you're the best hitter of a decade,

you should be in the Hall of Fame, no matter what the decade is. I think if you're the best hitter of a decade, you should be in the hall of fame, no matter what the decade is. I think if you put gum as your eyebrows, you should be a councilman. And I can't believe a Canadian led the league in hitting, but whatever. We'll get over that. Yeah. Wow. He's really, this guy's awesome looking.

Yeah. Wow. I recommend everyone Google that. That was worth it. All right. Well, there you go. A little more normal stuff. It seems like we don't really run out of these people. Strange.

Strange how this show works, isn't it? All right. Carry on. It's all fine. By the way, we did this during the Super Bowl, and it's by far a much better sports story than what we would be on right now. Yeah, there's no reason to watch that. Toodles.

Take care. Hey, Dollop fans. I know you love the Dollop. You love listening to the Dollop. Do you want to watch the Dollop? You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want

to go watch a five-part animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, I can't remember, of the Rube, you can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube. It really genuinely kicks ass and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one so go there and watch the Rube.