The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 678 - Douglas Stringfellow

Episode Date: April 8, 2025

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the life of hero Douglas Stringfellow SOURCES TOUR DATES OFFICIAL MERCH     Turtle Beach - use code: Dollop Squarespace - use code: Dollop Hims  Helix Sleep

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When you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com stressed all up to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. You're listening to the doll. It's the American history podcast. Why? Why? Why?

Why? Why are you mad? Why? With this guy. Why? Do the intro proper. You're mean. I'm not mean.

You're mean, man. You're, you, Gareth Reynolds, do the intro. This is, you can't, Jesus Christ. It's like, there's no call for professionalism on the show at all. The bar is so low. The bar is so low. And you

review you mail in the intro to a podcast. There's someone right now in a mind listening to this like coughing up coal. They're like, Boy, Dave really had a hard time with that intro on his podcast that he does from his home. Look, if you're coughing up coal, you need to talk to your shop steward because you should not be ingesting the coal. You are.

Does that make sense? It makes sense. That's why we're putting the kids on the month. Dave 321. You're listening to the dollop. It's an American history podcast. Yes. Each week, I gave Anthony a story for American history to a mean person.

Gareth Reynolds has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Better, I guess. I don't know. Is it? No. Are you better? How do you feel? Good. You started this. I did not. Gareth, we're going to be on tour. Damn right. Should I know the dates before I say that? No, I think the whole thing is that people love to hear you discover the dates along with me. Oh, that's okay. It's June. It is in June. We're going to go on tour. We're going to start in Sacramento on June 3rd and then it's every day this tour. Then the next day it's Boise, Idaho and then it's Spokane, Washington, then it's Seattle, Washington. You're making people do the date, man.

And that's Portland, Oregon. Yeah, that's all right. And then Band, Oregon. And then we end on June 10th in San Francisco, California. That's right. Go get tickets at dolloppodcast.com. That's right. Tour. That's right. And that's... I think that's... How it is. Yeah, I think we don't have anything else to say about that, right? No. That's right. I think we wouldn't have anything else to say about that, right? We've got to get some more dates queued up, too. I don't think we have any coming up, do we?

I think they're in motion being set. You could check with the people that do that. You could also do that. Well, I know that one of them is listening. I know that the great Teage. Is the Teage listening? Probably. He loves the fart chair. He loves the fart chair. He'll text me every once in a while and he'll be like, you said the wrong date.

Yeah. He never goes, what a great, sometimes he'll go like, that was a great episode. Sometimes he'll just be like, hey, real quick, you gave the wrong city. That's fair. That's fair, because that's what we do. Yep.

And you more often than me. I'm not good at this. No, no one said you were. Yeah, they were right. How about this? OK, so this is one we did live in Utah and they didn't record it. Gee, September 24th, 1922. Let me see if you remember it off the name.

Douglas Stringfellow was born in Draper, Utah to parents Henry and Naomi Bertha. No. Well, first of all, Bertha birthed him. No recollection. I vaguely remember that. I think you're overestimating how much I'll remember that. I don't think so. Okay.

When he was young, I really think this is one you'll remember. When he was young, his parents moved to Ogden. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's about 10 miles east of Salt Lake City, and Ogden was a railway hub and the second largest city in the state. And in 1938, the Ogden Stammer Examiner wrote that Doug had received a special outdoor assignment

from his instructor for, quote, studying the artistic arrangement of colors and vegetables and fruit. Ah, what? That's the best pass to get possible. So he's just- He's in high school then. He's in high school. He's just doing field work? He's, I think that's part of his class.

That's the best. See, that's what it should be. I agree. If it the best. See, that's what it should be. I agree. If it were that, like, I was, on what level did you dread school when you were a kid? Well, sometimes yes, but we had like, we had like, okay, the best thing that happened in elementary school was there a guy who brought like discarded items, garbage like stuff,

and then we would make art out of it. And they would just dump it on the playground and then we would make art. Great. Real ripe for poking jokes about a guy who just dumps a bunch of trash and then tells the kids to make paintings or something. I'm talking about older.

What about 14? What's your level of dread with school? Well, my French class was in the first period and one semester I went three times. Okay, so you're just a fucking nerd. No, three times. Oh, three times total. Yeah. I thought you meant you kept showing up for class.

Hello, teacher. Oh my god. What is it? In the phone, bonus round? No, I went three times. I hated school so much. I couldn't. It shows on the knowledge I've come into the show with.

But I could not handle it. Yeah. Let me ask you a question. If you were like going to go garden or if you were going to learn how to make things, or you were going to, you know, that sort of stuff would be enjoyable. Let me ask you a question. Do you think school liked you? No, I actually have many records of it suggesting that I was a major problem at it. records of it suggesting that I was a major problem at it. So

Douglas was an athlete and a football star in high school. And he obviously was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, which we will call Mormons. They don't want to be called Mormons, but I don't care. Well, first of all, rude. Well, first of all, rude. Um, why? There's a have a nickname. Uh, I have to look at what the fuck? What's the new nickname of them? Mm hmm.

Well, what are they? They're not Mormons. They don't want to be called Mormons because they have a big molestation scandal and they want to rebrand the, uh, reboot Jesus. The Rebooters. reboot Jesus the Rebooters yeah the Rebooters all right he graduated in 1941 and went to Weber Junior College where he played football and he became a member of the local Excelsior club oh boy fucking I assume it's just guys running around shouting Excelsior I can't imagine anything else. Yeah, what else could it possibly be and in that case I'm for it I am kind of into it, too. Yeah

You should see me trying to spell excelsior right now it's no it's gotta be an absolute nightmare Again, as people just heard you basically didn't go to school and just stared at squirrels. I was like, how come I can't be one of them? Is it possible to just join their little areas? Can I go into their tree homes? You mean nest? Whatever it's called.

Can I get credit for math, for hanging out with the squirrels? Hey, look, history is a real blind spot for me, but I've learned to pet a squirrel in the park. I almost killed a squirrel yesterday. Oh, God, your temper's out of control. Not with a stare or the fists. Driving my car, I came running out and I had to swerve

because they don't get it, they don't get it. Look, their brains are little and they got to cross a road. I'm definitely saying they're overwhelmed, but by the way, I don't know it. Look, their brains are little and they got to cross a road. I'm definitely saying they're overwhelmed. But by the way, I don't know how many squirrels listen to this show. If you're a squirrel, just dart. Enough with the thinking. Get out there.

Yeah, the whole I'm going to go through with this, no matter what's happening, is not a good idea. Well, no, but I think a lot of the danger comes in the like, hey, I'm going to go halfway out and then buck and peel back. Oh yeah, there's that also, yeah. If you gotta get over there, get over there. What about this? Look both ways.

I mean, I think they do, look, it's a lot, but I'm saying just, it's like when a running back is like doing moves in the backfield. Just pound the goddamn hole, squirrels. Ew. pound the goddamn hole squirrels. Ooh. In October 1942, the local local paper reported Douglas had shot a 150 pound buck on the family ranch.

Nice. So this is partially just an example of how there's not a lot of news in his town. Yeah. That's a, I mean, yeah, normally you go by points on the buck, but. In February, 1943, the signpost by points on the buck, but in February 1943 the signpost which is a paper said he took part in charm discussions during girls week events Hey in 1943 girls week events charm conversations not a lot to love

quote lectures and roundtable discussions on the subject of charm were features of the AWS annual charm week. Definitely concerning. Definitely how to cross your legs like from a guy. I also feel like they in college they used to do stuff that they now might do in high school. Yeah, it's all very... What kind of refinement classes were there for guys?

There was nothing. No, they didn't need them. They're already refined. And thankfully boys, you came out perfect. While Charles Lampson gave a lecture on how women should style their hair and do makeup. Doug was part of the co-ed quiz round table where he discussed quote what qualities he believed a Weber co-ed should possess. That's just crazy.

Everyone agreed they should wear sweaters and skirts or some other casual type of dress, short socks and low heeled shoes. Man, I mean, it truly it's like, look, I'm not saying things are good, but at least it's now like we've limited it to like porn hub search engines for guys, rather than just being like, here's what I like. I like when you bend over and I can see down your shirt a little bit, and just the outline of the nipple,

but not too much. Do you understand? That's kind of what we're going for. I just talked to God, and he really enjoys it when you don't wear a bra, but not too much. Do you understand? That's kind of what we're going for. I just talked to God and he really enjoys it when you don't wear a bra, but you wear a white shirt and it gets a little cold. That's nice. God likes the headlights.

Does that make sense? You know what I'm saying? You know, really just something that, oh, and listen, you gotta wear underpants, but nothing too baggy. This is like, this is like, they went to ask, they had two guys come in and say what their fetishes are, so then women would dress that way.

Yeah, for them, and then they were like, and then other guys were like, now hold on a minute, I don't like it where they went underpants. Like, okay, look, well look, ladies look, the charm week is full of varying opinions which i think is what makes it such a helpful think tank so sometimes we want to see your panties and sometimes we did you understand so go ahead and take them off and just give them to me go

ahead right there and randy here likes to sniff them so there you go there you go you don't have a cold oh so see women this is what we're trying. We're coaching you in the right direction. Remember, this is a religious event, I think. We're helping you with charm. This is charm. It's pretty important. Yeah.

You've heard of charm offensive? Well, we're being offensive about your charm. So, really, let us have it. Yeah. Wait, Dave, I do have to say, speaking of Randy, my character from do you remember my character from the last bit? Yeah. I am on the latest episode of dumb people town and they boxed me in promising that I would promote it. And it's a great episode. They want to have you on. They sent me Kirk,z, always a great time. Go listen to that. They sent me a TikTok, but I haven't looked at it,

because I don't look at TikTok messages. But I saw it came up and said, the Sclarz sent you a message, but I didn't look at it. That's where I'm at. With them? With everybody. OK. Send me your panties.

Oh, my God. The idea of knowing someone sent you a tick. I'm in negotiations to open the scars. Tick tock. By the way, a lot of people get upset when you use the word panties. So I would just like to say yes, especially when you say moist panties. We just lost half our listeners. I'll tell you what.

The bedouins of us who are listening are growing. Yes. So welcome, Rogan Boys. Hello. The US entered World War II and Douglas enlisted, joining the army in April 1943. The signposts quote,

Douglas may have a smooth voice, but he really knew how to treat the football rough. If Doug treats the sergeant the way he did his opponents, the guardhouse bars will be the only remembrance retained from his army life. I don't know what's happening. Yeah. Super weird way to write it.

So obviously he's a good talker. Yeah. That's probably why he was part of the co-ed roundtable. Yeah, absolutely And he's a rough he's a tough boy football guy Yeah, so if he treats the sergeant the way he did his opponents his football opponents. Yeah, it's gonna be a problem The guardhouse bars will be the only remembrance retained from his army life. Oh so Yep, still don't fully have it.

I mean, I was sniffing around it a little bit, but then I think it's gone, honestly. I mean, I think it's saying he's gonna get kicked out of the army, but that's the- I think so. I think that's what it is. After basic training, he was picked to take an engineering course and trained at the University

of Cincinnati for a year. Great. course and trained at the University of Cincinnati for a year. In March 1944, he joined Company C 62nd Armored Infantry Battalion. In September, he was sent to Europe. He never made it into the fighting though. Well, that's the way to do it. Because on November 19th, while in France, before ever engaging in actual combat, he was part of a routine mine clearing detail. A bouncing Betty mine exploded and shrapnel hit his spine. In December,

the Salt Lake City Tribune reported that he had been wounded in action in France. He got the mine spine. Now notice the Salt Lake He got the mind spine. Said he had been wounded in action when he had actually just been in a mine. Wounded non action. Sure. So he. It's actually but it's different.

He returned to Utah and he was hospitalized at Bushnell General Hospital. Now Doug had lost some of the can some of the nurses cut their outfits up a little bit so that the men feel comfortable around them? This is for charm. This is for charm. I need more charm. You know what I mean? Before the surgery, if a couple of the nurses could sit down and the way they should cross

their legs is very important. For charm. For charm. For charm. And I like it when they put on a little bit of lipstick but not too much makeup. Otherwise, I don't think I'll be horny for the surgery. Not slutty. Not a slutty nurse. Like a naughty nurse.

I love a nurse outfit, but can some of the nurses dress as French maids or as you call them maids? What's best is when the nurse walks in and everyone starts chanting, charm, charm, charm, charm, charm, charm, charm, charm. So he has lost the use of his legs. And while in the hospital, Doug said he sat in his bed listening to war reports on the radio and he's completely depressed. Sure. And he saw his role in stopping the Nazis as just meaningless. Sure.

And he said he just laid- I know how he feels. Yeah. And he said he laid in bed and just fantasized about fighting the Nazis in the war. You talking about a little- No, it's not a sexual fantasy. Okay. Well, that's good. I mean, that's good. He's got patriotism in his blood. We want to stop the Nazis. He's Brad Piddish. Douglas learned

to use canes and leg braces to stand. Okay. He was a very good speaker and told his fellow wounded vets in the hospital about his heroics on the battlefield. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, ababababa. Go ahead. May I jump in with a query, my friends? Mm-hmm. If memory serves. Yeah.

We've been talking about this guy for a little bit. Uh-huh. And I do remember you saying he was never, he never saw combat and he got hurt in a mine. And so now he's parlaying that into talks about his life on the battlefield, which seems, how do I say, bilchite? Yeah. How do I say? Will she? Yeah, oh, we. Someone went to French three times. I.

That by the way, if you do that, if you do on a French test, it actually doesn't. You know what I would love to do is go to France for a little bit and just see their American impression because it has to go. Yeah, it's gotta be great. So he yeah, like you say, he is talking, talking a bit much. I would say. So word gets out that soon about his heroics and word gets out and soon he's asked to come speak at the LDS 13th Ward sacrament meeting as saints because he had obviously won the

booters purple heart and the silver star and the bronze medal now he's saying that he did or he did well he yeah he didn't he'd do a purple heart. I yeah You miss our star and bronze medal He just got he got blown up before he went into battle. Yeah. Yeah, it's clear I don't see him that it would be strange for yep them to give him a purple heart Yeah, okay, so he spoke Great the year's bullshit lie when people want to see it. I mean you want to see it Yeah, you do want to see it. Did you bring it? I didn't actually I left it in the uber

You know what I had it out on my dresser to bring today, but then I completely forgot about it again I Keep forgetting it. I mean I should wear the goddamn. thing. That's what I should start doing is wearing it. Yeah, it's your seventh speech here and every time. I know, I keep forgetting the purple heart, the bronze, I mean, you know, it's crazy. What's crazy is I keep putting them near these letters that I want to mail and neither is getting done. I keep forgetting it and I, boy, I tell you.

Is that the only thing that's crazy? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, what do you mean? No. What do you mean? Just, you know, just asking. Yeah, that's the only thing that's crazy. I don't love, I don't care for this guy's attitude. Oh wait, I'm not even in my other pants!

Okay. He spoke on quote, interesting and faith-promoting incidents he experienced while overseas. So he focused on the LDS shit. Around this time, he met Leigh Lemon. She was a freshman at Utah University and she ran Utah's largest dance studio. Great. She had come, and I would imagine at this point, if you're in a dance studio in Salt Lake City, your whole goal is to get on, oh now I can't remember the name of the show.

America Bandstand. No, the one in Utah, the, uh, God. Oh, uh. Fuck, it's the N uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, behave back then. And it's my favorite. My favorite thing of all time was when he goes, and now to dance.

It's my favorite Mexican. Oh, come right. He's just really great stuff. She's and my only. But it was then he saw Soul Train and he was like, I don't think I know. No, no, no, no, no. Those things were on at the same time.

Shit. Wow, that's crazy. Yes, they were on at the same time. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, you can just see the Lawrence Welk audience like, well, I mean, this has been totally taken. Just another fine thing white people invented

and black people stole from them. Keeps happening. So she had come to the hospital to dance for the recovering soldiers. Oh my God. And it happened to be on Douglas's 23rd birthday. And when she met him, she said it was love at first sight. Mm-hmm, great.

And Doug was released from the hospital on November 1945. And in May 1946, he married Lee Lemon in the Salt Lake LDS Temple. Okay. She called him stringy. He called her funny face. Fuck me. I would push it.

Believe me, I in my relationship have to push for nickname changes. Yeah. You're going with stringy. Stringy. No. That's what I think you should be called now. No, you leave me at least stop. Stop. I'll? Stringy. No. That's what I think you should be called now. No, you leave me, stop, stop. I'll send her a message.

Stop. Stringy, Benji, it's just a nightmare. The show has gone on too long. The nicknames are too, there's just too many. Stringy, take it easy. Stop. They honeymooned in South Utah and Las Vegas and then returned to live in Ogden

I mean go further Try hard. Oh, I mean Jesus Christ. You're from Utah go to the fucking coast go to the coast Didn't Joseph Joseph Smith had another place in mind at first, right? It was like Utah was like the plan B when they're like this Thanks. Oh, well, I think they, yeah, they did try it. Yeah, I can't remember what it was. But they were definitely like, God told us to come here. And then it was like, they're going to kill us.

Utah is OK. Well, they were in Missouri for a while. And I think that's where the attacks happened on that. The idea that like, God gives you two options, and they're Missouri and Utah. He got a job in radio at KLO, which fit his speaking skills, and he started doing more speaking engagements. He would always stand using his cane.

He frequently gave talks to the Boy Scouts and other youth groups. He's a big- He's able to stand and walk. He just has a limp or he- I don't- You said the use of his legs were gone yeah I don't know if he could I think he can FDR pretty you know roughly on the canes I don't know if he's in a wheelchair okay got you but I know he's

when he speaks he's standing right okay he's also a very big LDS speaker. On March 18th, 1946, he gave a speech at a Red Cross drive, and his story had now expanded a bit. The Ogden Examiner called him a was the intelligence agency of the U.S. during World War II. I think it becomes the CIA. He didn't know he. No, he was he was at the University of Cincinnati, then he went over France and then he went

to a mine. He was in Cincinnati for a year. He went to a mine and then his spine got hurt. Now he's on the Purple Heart, a couple of stars, and he was part of the Oss. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. His story seemed to be, it would get more embellished with each speech, kind of. But that is what happens.

That is what happens. That's what happens when you're, I mean, it's how, I mean, it happens all the time where you go like, wait, it used to be this, like remember when Brian Williams got busted for like that story where he's like, yeah, I got shot in the head four times by RPG fire. And the people are like, Brian, you got off of a helicopter when there was nothing going on. He's like, in retrospect, in retrospect.

So that's not great because he's getting offered more and more speaking gigs as the story becomes crazy. Bigger and bigger, right? After a while, he was saying he had captured Dr. Otto Hahn, the father of nuclear fission. I mean. I mean, there's just, there's just no, I mean, it's, it really is, it's such a lesson. You know what I mean?

It's like a Stanford experiment, but just in a different way, it's just like, what if a guy thinks he could just say anything forever? And then what if that guy was president? That's so fucking great. Now, the biggest I actually remember the first time if you're on the road with him and you're like, well, that's new. I'll never forget the time that I captured the father of nuclear fission. Wait, what?

What happened? I remember when I stabbed Hitler through his mustache with a katana blade not too long ago. Interesting. I didn't hear about that. I'll never forget when I was eating Eva Braun's brain with a troop of monkeys in a German jungle. Why would you do that?

We had to gain her knowledge to figure out the secrets of the third like, why were there monkeys in a German jungle? Well, there's no German jungle. Yeah, that. Oh yeah. There's some big forests. There's their jungle either. They got a big jungle in there. Don't agree with that. Absolutely. And I went down to Hitler's bunker and it was basically a rainforest cafe. I mean the place was just stocked with leafies. There was a Jaguar, he had Panthers, monkeys, tree rats, you name it. He had fish that could walk. I should have brought my purple heart and I left the goddamn thing on the coffee table

next to a book I wanted to give to a friend of mine. I swear I'd forget my lies if they weren't screwed on properly. What? I'll be ahead, ahead, ahead! So here's the problem with the Otto Hahn line is that Hahn was caught on April 25th by an armored task force in 1945 and Doug was wounded in November and out of

Europe in December of 1944. Sorry. I remember when I built a time machine. That's correct. You forget that one. No, no, no. It's a good point. It's a good point.

That's why I brought back with me a bunch of people from history to help meet Hitler. Yeah, I had George Washington Remember him? Mm-hmm big player. Mm-hmm big player. Yes big player Mozart. Mm-hmm These women who just wouldn't listen to how I like them to dress Mm-hmm. Okay. I had a caveman. Yeah. Dinosaurs. Two velociraptors. Like from Geico?

I'm not familiar. But two velociraptors. And a bunch of other guys. Eric the Red. Okay. Is that a guy? He was there. He might have been lying.

I hate liars. Mm-hmm. So, his new, so this is just making him more and more popular. And he runs and becomes president of the Republican League and then runs for county clerk of Weber County. And when he announced the paper said he had worked for three years in the OSS, because that's what they said in their little. Sure.

Yeah. He lost though, because that year was a democratic romp. And in late 1947, he and Lee went to Northern California to be Mormon missionaries. Okay. Those are the, if you don't know what that is, those are people who ride around in, on sometimes bikes and walk around and they have white shirts and everybody ignores them. A little elder sign on their chest. Uh huh.

He continued to make speeches to churches while there. He told the San Joaquin Valley LDS Church he was just one of 200 students picked by the OSS and discussed his rigorous training and said he and other OSS were sent to Marseille to clean up the black market. Quote, when the group was sent behind German lines, flown in 17 bombers, they dropped us under black parachutes over Nuremberg. While the nearby American artillery opened up a heavy barrage to distract the attention

of the German forces, members of the group seized a key radio station and announcers who spoke fluent German broadcast messages designed to demoralize and confuse the Germans on the eve of the attack. Later, OSS operatives seized a leading German scientist whose name Stringfellow could not reveal even now, but who was a leading atomic fishing specialist. Fuck me, dude, that is, well, first of all, can we just commend the creativity

because it's really good bullshit. It is really good bullshit, but if you- But it's also so funny to imagine them just breaking into a German radio station Just like 18 by noon time Hell yeah, my friend. I should take the But it's also like hilarious because like It's it's like the one thing you wouldn't take because if you took it

The one thing you wouldn't take, because if you took it, strategically it's not, I mean aside from just blowing it up and making it non-functionary, but taking it over and then talking to German troops, now you've just made yourself an incredible target. What do you mean? Like in the lie? Because you're going behind enemy lines and you're taking over a radio station, well then they're just going to know where you are and how to kill you really quick. And the idea of like, I mean I'm sure that we're listening

to the radio, but the idea that all of a sudden you'll be like, what's up everybody, my name is DJ Klaushausen. Listen, answer once and truth, am I the only one who's thinking that this bar is really going bad all of a sudden? Look, we're gonna play some great stuff in a minute. We got a bunch of accordions and jug music, but I don't know. Sometimes me wonder if this is even gonna work out,

and if I were a troop, I probably would be looking at Zemir thinking, couldn't I have an easier life somewhere else? It's 1115, weather right now, 55 55 degrees demoralized. Here we go. He said most of the OSS were captured and tortured for five days in a notorious camp. And then American forces arrived to rescue them. As far as his injuries, he said it was from the explosion of a jet propulsion plant near the front lines. I mean, fuck me. Obviously, the greatest part of this story

is we know what happened, so we can just enjoy every block that's built. But holy fuck, I mean, it's like, what is Lee must be like, honey? Well, the article in the Lindsay Gazette notes his wife was there when he made these claims. She apparently didn't notice his insane changing story. I never heard of that. I didn't know that you, I didn't know that you flew through the sun. How did that happen? You know, I didn't tell you that one. A couple of months later in Merced, he said he received a presidential citation.

He's really cooking, dude. Oh, he's really cooking. I can't take it out of the trophy room. Honey, why didn't you ever tell me that when you broke into Hitler's bunker, you hit his nutbag like a speed bag at the gym. I didn't tell you that one. They returned from their mission in the fall of just those two, that's not determined stuff. In the fall of 1948, and he went right back to speaking at the LDS churches, he was now saying he was only one of five of the original 200 OSS members who had survived the war.

So, well, that's good too, because those guys are probably like, wait, what? I mean, obviously none of it exists, but, but there's limited corroborations. Yeah, you're sitting there and you're like, wait, am I dead? Am I a ghost? Or in your house, like, I don't remember that guy. What did we do? Was I a jet propulsion explosion? Was I in ghost? Or in your house like, I don't remember that guy. What did we do? I jet propulsion explosion. Was I in like a fake OSS?

Oh, what do you guys remember him? He was now back on the radio at K.L.O. And in February 1949, the Ogden Standard Examiner wrote that Doug said he was wounded while escaping from a German prison camp and then spent the next three years unable to leave the hospital. A few months later, he was describing himself as, quote, one of the cloak and dagger boys under General William.

Who would say that? I mean, honestly, you know us, we're one of the cloak and dagger boys. What are you talking about? We were the guys who did Fox's magic secrets revealed. Under General William Donovan's office at strategic services during World War II. I shot out of George Washington's penis when he fucked a flag. Now he's saying he led 30 men into Germany and they captured a key radio station

and they put out on the air key information that led to a successful assault by American forces. Oh my God. That's not. We actually released a hit single called Down with Reich. We put together a band called Krauts and Krauts in the German. I love that the idea that American the American forces needed a guy to go on the radio in Germany to coordinate honestly like it is little. He's like what we do. Yeah. Operation

DJ Doug now said he was all the only man of the 200 who was alive and not hospitalized. Now the rest are dead. You got to believe me. That's it. Everyone else is dead. That's probably why, because people are like, you should get one of your other OSS guys to come. None of them made it.

For sure. Yeah. For sure. Quote, he returned to America paralyzed from the neck down and still has only partial use of his legs. He has regained most full use of his arms. His bullshit has never been better. Douglas said captured scientists agreed to help make the bomb only if the US agreed to use it. If they were going to lose the war. So right. So they so they kept his story is they captured Stipulation is that they're like only if you promise to use it

When you're losing like you can't use it offensively. Yeah, I thought they were just like we just want to see the fireworks go Which is not what happened at all Now so at the time the first bomb was dropped on Hiroshima by mistake. That's what he said whoopsie Did you let the leaflets rip the leaflet? on Hiroshima by mistake. That's what he said. Whoopsie. Did you let the leaflets rip? The leaflets? What an insane and terrible claim. Imagine thinking you can get away with saying that. And imagine thinking that that in any way,

like that little whatever you gain from that, which I don't think is much, what it does to the United States, like it's so under patriotic to. Yeah. We're we're accidentally dropping nukes. It's just that he's trying to be as interesting as he could possibly be. But he's just to be like, you know, we actually didn't even mean to bomb Nagasaki. And he's he said that Hiroshima was not the original target and that the second bomb had to be dropped on Nagasaki because that was the original target. We're on a new one.

Oh my God. So he's saying little man and fat boy or whatever were the second one was like, well, now we got to go. Yeah. Well, we were going to hit, we were trying to Nagasaki. We hit the wrong city. So we're going to do the imagine like if there is a nuclear mulligan. So we called it.

Oh, fuck. I mean, there's nothing about telling that story that is good. It's just, Gareth the dollop is brought to you by Turtle Beach. Mm. Is it a beach for turtles? No.

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go to squarespace.com for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Evan and I one time had a, when we first got out here, we had a pitch, like our first pitch ever, and we made a little like, whatever, we made a little like, it was like a sketch we'd made. And the guy, this guy ended up going to jail, like two years later for embezzlement and stuff. But the guy who gave us five grand to shoot the thing in a meeting was just like, he was

like, so I gave the boys here 15 grand to make a little something. And Evan and I were like, give us five. Why would he say? And he just did it because it made him sound more wealthy. But we were like, that undercuts everything. Like five grand, you're like, oh, one bad 15 grand you're like these guys are terrible yeah and you were like what is the who benefits from this lie other than just one person right now quickly right yeah yeah uh he was also predicting quote the next war will be fought

between christian loving people and god haters boy. Boy, they've wanted that forever. They really want that. Oh yeah, they're trying to, it's called manifesting. Yeah. He had become a bit of a big deal in Utah and within the LDS and among the patriotic types. Sure, yeah. Well, of course he is.

Yeah. I mean, of course. He knows this. He does. In 1950, he became the chairman I mean it of course that's what he knows this he does in 1950 he became the chairman of the Americanism committee of the Ogden Junior Chamber of Commerce first of all you guys get a fuck get a fucking life get a fucking stop Get a fuck. Can we first of all you're already in you're not even in the chamber of commerce You're in the junior chamber of commerce and then on top you're already the most American Commerce. You're in the Junior Chamber of Commerce, and then on top, you're already the most American Americans that could be in America.

You don't need to Americanize that. Can we also just talk about this worship a little bit? It has to stop. Look, you love it here. That's great. Stop wearing flags. Just, would you chill the fuck out? You are in a fucking abusive relationship with a location and all you keep

trying to do is suck its dick. Stop putting the flags on everything, shouting for freedom all the fucking time. I understand you love it here, but you're letting it get away with murder and be run by fucking sick people because they know if they tell you that they love the flag more than anyone else, that will work on your brain. The idea that you have to walk around with like merch, this fucking country and its goddamn merch, just hold it to some fucking standard for God's sake, would you? Instead of just everything you're doing just being like, hey, I got a t-shirt with the

Constitution on the sleeves. Good for you. Good for way to fucking go. Okay. At some point, would you sit down and have the hard conversation? Now I got to look up sure Constitution on the sleeves because I bet that's the thing. Asked me. I remember when I was in a coming back from Australia one time and I mean, you know, whatever, I was like not excited to head home and I saw this, this guy had a shirt at the airport on my American flight back and his shirt said, fuck your feelings. And I was like, well, I'm excited to go home. That'll be fun. That's exciting. There are definitely shirts with the constitution on them, but I'm not seeing one with the constitution on the sleeves.

That might be considered derogatory. It wouldn't be on the main part. I mean, it's really, can we just wear clothes? Can we stop bedazzling everything? No. Doug's stories were now being- I worry if I go out, people won't think I love America. Just go out. Just go buy some fucking oranges.

If you're out with me and you don't have a flag on your shirt or an army symbol or military symbol of some kind or the Constitution, I think you're a fucking animal. Oh shit. Oh my God. Does anyone have a flag I can borrow? I gotta go inside to buy shoes. Here, I got a flag you can drape yourself in. So his stories are now being repeated by Mormon church leaders and they're being written into church lessons for young people. So let me tell you about the time that Doug and Jesus broke into the Nakatomi towers and saved Bruce Willis.

It's, yeah, it's bad. He told the Logan Rotary Club the 200 OSS men were caught and sent to a concentration camp. Quote, the stench of burned human flesh was almost unbearable. This guy went to France once. I mean, this is like if Hilaria Baldwin was in the armed services. I don't know that is Dave. Oh, oh, oh, the Spanish lady. Well, no, she's from Boston, but she also That story and the fact that they have a new reality show is just she the fact that she has gotten away with being on National TV saying that she doesn't remember what a cucumber is called with her fake-ass accent just I

Mean look I'm not saying that what Alec Baldwin did on set is not crazy. Alec Baldwin's a monster. Alec Baldwin's a monster. He's a fucking monster. But he shot someone on set and that's horrible. What she's done is worse. Okay. She was on the Today Show just like, how do you say, uh, kukamba?

Kukamba? She's From Boston. When they were in their concentration camp and they were tortured, they quote, prayed as they never prayed before. So they've been the hardest. Because it never happened. They've never prayed like that because it didn't happen. They, and you were hard prayed,

like really like hard fucking prayed. Like a normal prayer, but like really go hard. Really go hard. I, again, I mean, but like really go hard. Really go hard. I'm sure. Again, I mean, I really- Level 10. I mean, just even imagine in this hypothetical lie that never was anywhere close to existing, what he's comfortable making up, that in a world where Jews are being held because of

their religious belief. He sort of camp fired and had a prayer pow wow. Come on guys. Let's pray that this barbed wire melts. The German underground created a distraction that allowed the men to escape and flee in a truck. Just them though? No, none of the other people in the concentration camp?

No, okay. No, just them. This the other people in the concentration camp. No, no, no, just them. This speech was titled What Price Freedom? Well, it's that grammatically, it's unsound. So he is that he is a very good speaker. So he is in major demand. He spoke at rotary clubs, change your chambers of commerce, the Quantis Club, the youth sports meetings, VFW's, many, many LDS events. So was Hitler. So was Hitler. So was Hitler. So was Hitler. So was Hitler.

Change your chambers of commerce, the Kiwanis Club, the youth sports meetings, VFWs, many, many LDS events. And he's now speaking outside of Utah. He's spreading. It must be fun. Yeah. To just be like, ooh, I just thought of some bullshit. Yeah.

I shot Lincoln. It's like if you went on the news and just kept saying, we're going to be on Mars in two years, and all my cars will be driving without drivers. It's like if you went on the news and just kept saying we're going to be on Mars in two years and all my cars will be driving without drivers. In December it was announced Doug was nominated for a National Americanism Award given out by the Junior Chamber of Commerce. At the end of the year he came in third place in a speaking contest, losing only to General Eisenhower and President Hoover.

Wow. The contest was called Operation Comeback for vets who came back after being horribly wounded. In that speech, Doug said he'd only been, he'd been in a coma for six weeks. I think he's still in it. I mean, really, this is, you know, again, it's like this guy going around parading himself as the most patriotic when really what he is doing is

as I don't even like fucking throwing that, but it's just so against the people that he's trying to charm with his bullshit. He's doing everything in the opposite direction, lying about the patriotism that he espouses his patriotism from his story and just stealing valor. Like such the most incredible stole a penny. Yeah, it's insane. In 1951, he had about 200 speaking engagements. He was the keynote speaker at a telephone company convention.

Other speakers there were governors and senators. After he flew to Tinker Air Force Base to speak, then to Denver to speak at the Crusade for Freedom rally, he's getting standing ovations constantly. I can't hear any more of the names of these functions. Most American, because you hate America. He said that at the phone convention, he got a 12 minute standing ovation.

Jesus Christ. So now he's like Prince. He's flag Prince. He won the National Freedom Foundation Award for a speech promoting American ideals. American ideals? I mean, it's just, I don't know. I don't remember this story.

So I don't know what happens to him at the end, but he better be like drawn and quartered. This is when McCarthyism is really hitting its strike. Perfect time for him. Perfect time for him. So Doug announces he's running for the House of Representatives. Oh my God. Campaign is pretty much just about how awesome of an American hero he is, which leads to more and more repeating of his amazing feats.

Near the end of the campaign, a Republican activist told Doug that a Colonel had traveled to Ogden and heard the stories. And he apparently served with Doug during the war and said he was a phony, as was his story. And Doug reassures the Republicans that's not true. I mean, you can't at this point, you just have to hope you can die before they get you because this level of life isn't going to end well. How can it end? Well, you can't possibly. It wouldn't be a dollop. Yeah, but you can't possibly like, uh, yeah, yeah, I have been lying. I mean, you got fucking that guy's fucking bullshit.

A plane flew into my head. So rumors swirled days before the election that Dems would attack his war record. Sure. But it did not happen, probably because it would blow back on them hard. Yeah, it's the same thing. You're in a no-win situation. Very easy to just be told you hate America. Yeah. I mean, the way you see Trump like Trump was just like, they don't care for America. Now he's just like, they want to blow it up from the inside because

they hate you and they flag. It's like, it's yeah, it would just be why you're attacking hero, et cetera. So Republicans sweep the election in a landslide and Doug wins and he's now a congressman. Wow. Which means more speeches. He also signed a studio deal for the rights to his life story. Really getting in deep. Really getting in deep. Imagine paying for that.

I went to town and what would you sign? Did you get anything? I got a handful of magic beans. In February 1954, Doug thought he was going to LA to get an award, but he suddenly found himself instead on a TV show. Oh, oh, I kind of remember this. Because it's a TV show that surprised people. It was This is Your Life.

Oh my God. So people didn't know when they were going to show people didn't know someone just tricked this because it's a TV show that surprised people it was this is your life oh my god so people didn't know when they were going to show people didn't know someone just tricked them to go right right oh my god oh the fucking nerves going through him he's suddenly on tv and let me pull this up oh my god oh right I gotta go ahead because these idiots are doing a thing. So right. So 3 34. Oh it was like I have something to tell you. You're actually on the show. This is your life. Okay ready? Yeah. I went off because I moved the goddamn... this stupid... I hate it. Just...

I mean, just work. Just please. Like, why does it have to be... Why do you lift up your phone? Does it have to turn on? Oh my God, it did it again. How about when you try... How about if you know on YouTube now, if you touch the screen, touch it.

Oh man, I'm all speeded ahead, so I guess that's a good thing. If you touch the screen, touch it. And this is your life brought to you as always. My eyes will be on the wall. Hold on, I'm all speeded ahead, so I guess the right part. But if you touch it wrong, YouTube's like, oh, you like that ad? You're like, nope. No, I don't. I really don't.

OK, this is it. The writing to Moses and the Nazis in the Gestapo building. Our mission, of course, is to stay six secure to them that they couldn't expect us and try to outcast them on the spot for a split second operation. It's starting to become a great orator and starting to really fine tune his speeches. Working with the British and French to capture a high German official and destroy all installations at that point. On a split second schedule you have a rendezvous with an allied plane that lands in a hate field to pick up ten of your men and your famous prisoner. Now you Doug, with four of your men armed with Tommy guns, form rear guard protection. The plane is three minutes late, but the mission is accomplished.

He's stuck there with four of the military men. We were on schedule on our split second, and immediately we felt the sharpness of the big-naked smorgh banks. They'd caught up with us. We were first stripped of all of our clothing, then forced to walk across the street and watched them burn the church to the ground, and as purposes would come running from the building, they were shot down and co-slapped. Okay, so...

I have a question. Well, first of all, the people you heard interjecting are his family and sons today. Right. Right. I remember this. Yes. But this is one of the biggest shows on television at the time, if not the biggest. It's a huge television show. And the guy who's recounting what happened to him is the host. Yes, the host is like, the host is like prompting him to say stuff, right? It's like the setups of the questions will prompt you to talk about what happened. So vets who actually captured Otto Hahn are not really into the thing they're seeing. The Salt Lake-

He should have been on This Isn't Your Life. That would have been better. The Salt Lake County Young Democratic Club began an investigation into Doug's war record. Labor unions and vets organizations quickly got involved. In June, CBS aired a drama of his war story. Oh my God. Now not a movie, a drama, so it must have been like an hour program or something, but it's like,

it's not a film, it's a recreation. Oh yeah, a recreation sort of thing. And then right after that airs, a producer buys the rights to his life for a film. Now, this is your life, say, it was totally vetted. Sure. Like everyone's dead. His story now included being told by doctors

he would never walk again, overcoming that and walking with a cane. So he runs for office again in 1954. And so I guess a couple months later or something, he says he's running again. And his opponent now is Walter Granger, who had run four years before, and when he ran, he was called a commie and all that shit, right? So.

Is McCarthyism still kicking? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And a quote, dupe of the Kremlin controlled Communist Party. That's what they called the guy last time. So now he's he's running against him. A paper made up a corruption story about Granger in the last election. But people are like, he should be the guy to run again. So he does. So Granger had known for a year

that Doug is lying about his record. So he'd already known this. But he's not gonna leak it or go public himself because he thought it would backfire. So at one point, well, I think you don't have to say anything publicly or you could hint, you leak. If that's what you wanted, but you have to hit him with it.

Someone has to do it. You can easily go and find the soldiers that he was supposed to have been with and they would come out and go, what the fuck? Easy. That's not hard. Anyway, at one point someone asked a grandinch a question about Doug's record at a public meeting and he declines to discuss it. The Army Times begins investigating Doug in January after his TV appearance and then there

was a following newspaper series about how awesome he was. Another unknown news organization investigated him in the summer, but they couldn't find any documentation to prove Doug's claims are false. So this is why, when anybody in the media reaches out to the Department of Defense, they're stonewalled. The DOD does not want to offend a sitting congressman because it can hurt their funding.

Oh my God. The OSS doesn't exist anymore. Everyone he worked with died. Yeah, everyone or was captured. Yeah, right, yeah. In August, a congressman who was wounded in battle reached out to the Army Times with a tip, and this is considered the first reliable tip.

The Times began going through all Doug's speeches and any documents, and they got a letter from Dr. Hahn saying he had never been kidnapped. I mean, you've got to be like, a lot of this is not adding up. I mean, it must be very difficult for you to be like, I mean, I'm starting to wonder, is he pathological? This is insane. And they also quickly realized that Doug had not been in Europe when Han was taken in. Sure. So on October 11th, an editor reaches out to Doug. right? So it's under a month before the election, and they talked for about 30 minutes.

Quote, it was an unsatisfactory conversation. He was evasive, calm, and confident sounding, but unable to produce one source. Show me the Purple Heart. To his backstory. Yeah. So, literally, no, but I mean, he's kind of crafted that over time that there's nobody who could corroborate because everyone's dead. The editor agreed to take, quote, any one sentence confirmation from anyone in the CIA

who had the OSS files. Doug asked Eisenhower to release the CIA records to vindicate him. Knowing that he won't. He hoped the CIA would say the records were closed forever instead what they said, that the records didn't exist. Better. So Doug called his friends in DC and then he got them all to call the Army Times editor. Quote, some accused, some warned, some threatened, most reasoned.

So they're dead in the full court press to save this guy's ass. The Times published the story on October 14th, then the shit really hit the fan at the paper. They were attacked by many and called it a hurricane. The Democratic Party bought 10,000 copies and distributed them in Utah. That's smart. That's good. Yeah, that's that strategy. That's something I missed.

Mm hmm. They also gave their investigative report on Doug to LDS Church President David McKay. Oh, like he's going to give a fuck. Well, he called. He calls Doug in for a meeting. Really? We need we need to talk about this. And Doug's like, it's not true, this is fucking lies. I absolutely thought everything's a lie that you did?

No. But then McKay keeps getting information and later that day he goes, I need you to come back. So second meeting the same day about how you fucking lie. Well, it's ladder in the day. God damn it. Come on. That and Doug again.

It's and Doug. This is a poop. Yes. Poopy. We're having some fun. And Doug again denied the reports. He told the press he was going to sue the army times and the writer. I'm going to show him. Then Doug was

grilled by two fellow Utah Republicans, one who was a senator. And he finally admits it's false. Wow. All of it? Yeah. Quote. See, I wouldn't even do that. I'd be like, Oh yeah, a couple of them I fudged. I think the... He was hurting. He wanted to... No, I think really the timing is, it's the auto-haunting and not being there in Europe is really, I think he's just, how's he gonna deny part of it?

I mean, I don't know. I guess I would, I really, I mean, I'm just, I'm trying to be, it's like made off. You know what I mean? It's like, I guess you don't really have an option, but I would certainly be like, a couple of the things are made up, but most of it's true. I'd start there. I think a couple of them got away from me. So, quote, suddenly I was free. got away from me.

So, quote, suddenly I was free. I want to show it was free. I want to shout it. It was like a spiritual baptism. Oh, shut up. I. You mother fucker. You absolute fucking mother fucker. No, no, no. This is me when he did... No! No you fucking don't! No you fucking don't!

I felt flushed out. You fucking piece of shit. So then LDS leaders are like, you gotta come clean. So he did that night. He went on TV, KSL, and in his speech, he said his war stories were false as tears streamed down his face. Dave. Quote, here are the facts.

I never participated in any secret behind the lines mission for our government. I never captured Otto Hahn or any other German physicist. And when he was done, he sobbed in Lee's arms. This is when. Let's just say. This is when. How proud we are of his service though.

No, this is when you put this guy in a vest of bricks and throw him in a lake. You do not, you- That's what they, that's what they, that's what the Germans did to him, basically. No, they didn't. He just admitted that this is the problem. Sorry, the French.

You are not allowed in the same day to go from a lying war hero to a church redemption story. No, I am not going to allow this. So, Gareth, here to America, please for the record, he hates American heroes. I love it. The Spokane- Put the Constitution on my sleeves. The Spokane Chronicle reported both political parties were now mad at the Army, times, because they printed the story when they did and Republicans were upset it was before elections

and Democrats are because they didn't wait for them to drop their own report first so they can be the guys. Sorry, the parliamentarian was reviewing the documents. Oh Jesus. Their report, the Democrats report was a 17 page report detailing all of the lies. And it was learned the White House had found out about the lying six months before and done nothing. So Eisenhower knew.

Yeah. Doug had even lied about going to Ohio State and the University of Cincinnati. Oh Jesus. If he starts doing jumping jacks. A few days later he drops out of the election. Republicans scramble. They get a new candidate and he wins. Fucking losers. Doug went back to Ogden and said he hit up an old employer for a job. Quote, they told me to never set foot in this place again. Yeah, that's nice.

And then someone who ran speaking clubs, so it's like a dinner club for speeches and they're around the country. It's called the Knife and Fork Club. Just like the cloak and dagger boys. They asked him if he wanted to speak again. And in early 1955, this is just months later, he gave his first post-ruined live speech in Detroit's town hall.

And Doug said people started asking him when he was going to go back into politics. See, this is what is so fucking stupid. This is what we do this now. We take a ghoul and then we go, hey, go on, big brother. And then you're like, oh, they're not so bad. And then you go, oh, OK. And then they become a figure again. It's like Nigel Farage.

These turds deserve to sink. And instead, because of these little outlets where because they're a scandalous figure, they're able to kind of have a carve. It's like cameo. It's like, so you just, now you have a little world, there's a little area where you can exist and you build yourself back up and then people are like, I like him. Well, let's see.

Let's see if that's what happens, Gareth. He wasn't doing many speeches and they didn't pay what they used to. He got an occasional job, like working for an insurance company between lectures. The title of the new speech that he was doing is called I Believe. And it's...

It's... Excuse me, sir. Excuse me, sir. Sir. It should be called, I don't lie now. Sir. Truth teller. Don't string. I actually think it did happen now.

By Doug. It was a mix of his personal philosophy, current events, and spiritual stuff. Quote, it's the same speech I gave before with the elimination of the war story. It's four seconds. It's a four second speech. It's me saying thank you. Good night. He was also giving talks in LDS churches again, though quite a few people were disgusted that he had the gall to show his face in public. Well, what the actual fuck if you like, I was in church and this guy showed up. I would be like, Hey, what are we doing here? What's like our thing here?

Because it feels like biblically. No redemption. Yeah, I know that is what it is, but it's like you have to you have to have some standards. That's why it's why guys like Russell Brand go over to the church, because then they can say, but then I found Jesus. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. Absolutely.

He planned it great. He really did. He planned it great. He built the bunker. He was like, huh. And then they come out for him. And then he just goes, oh, God, what did I tell you? Oh, no.

It's more just, yeah, yeah. Well, I tell you, I told you they were going to come for me. When he had a speech in a town, there were a few angry letters that would come in the local paper. He can't hold the job. Lee got a job selling dinner china and went back to school

and eventually became a psychologist. And you would just like look at the back of it and you're like, this was made in Poughkeepsie. I Believe Doug is really trying to make ends meet and after a while he did get back in a radio in Salt Lake using an alias Don Douglas Lee said she would come home and quote. He'd be sitting there with tears in his eyes listening to Madame Butterfly. Oh my sitting there with tears in his eyes listening to Madame Butterfly. Oh my goodness gracious. Crikey, crikey, crikey, crikey.

We all have our holes. We all have our dark places. For me it's Hamilton. For me it's cats. Oh my lord, that is wild. I'm not sure when, but at some point, Lee talked him into moving the family to Mexico to get away from the quote, taunting and humiliation in Utah.

Remember, he has kids. He's got like four kids, I think. So his kids are just getting harassed. I bet you he had none. I bet you he just did like an ant farm. So they move to Mexico, he starts painting. His paintings are actually selling well there. Can we stop with these motherfuckers?

Can we just start to take the hands of these people, please? So I don't have to look at dog paintings from war criminals anymore? I'm sure it's all religious paintings. I'm sure it's all religious. Oh, sure. Right? It's got to be. Well, you know, you know, George W. Bush does paintings of the injured from the Iraq War and then

is like, I mean, you're just like, hey, what are we doing? What are we at? I think I painted this guy's limb that I'm responsible for losing British. So he, he starts having heart attacks, so they move to California, Long Beach, and he said he was writing a book and had a publisher. Quote, I was immature and like most enjoyed a hearty slap on the back. From there the story bloomed all out of proportion. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, great stories. So it sounds like he knew what he was doing right but not

according to the book he wrote which he said he got a 20,000 advance or maybe he did he got a $20,000 advance from random Random House to write. In 2013 three of his grandkids said the family had his never before published book and that it wasn't his fault. So that thing I played earlier, the kids intersecting, they're saying their whole thing is that, well, this isn't his fault. He wrote that he didn't realize he was telling lies until after he was elected to Congress.

And once he did, he couldn't admit it because people would think he was crazy. So he was trapped, Gareth, he couldn't admit it because people would think he was crazy. So he was trapped, Gareth. He was trapped. He said what he was in the hospital listening to war stories on the radio. He began imagining himself in battles and then they became real to him. What is, what are we doing? We just literally, China kills billionaires.

You just have to, we have to just start picking some people and we just have to do it. Like the second he starts doing this, you have to be like, look, we're gonna, we're gonna put you on CBS prime time and we are going to kill you. After the election in 1952, as rumors popped up that he wasn't a war hill, he then did start to doubt himself. And one night he was alone on a trip and he decided he needed to see his war records to jog his memory. The Salt Lake Tribune quote, later that same night, he awoke suddenly shouting,

there are no records. Ben he remembered it all, and he realized his time in the OSS was a figment of his imagination. So this story of how it's a figment of his imagination is as stupid as the stories he was telling. It's the same lying shit. This isn't how it works. He's lying.

He's got a problem. It's not how it works. No, it's not. No, it's completely not. But again, he's being enabled by a couple different bumpers around him. Well family Just trying to get his family to believe him. Don't you think that's all he's has right now This is a man who should not have any mirrors in his house because looking into them is not an option

Cue madam butterfly looking into them is not an option. Q met in butterfly. He never sends the book to the publisher. Instead, he returned the money and put it away in a drawer. That's what he said. I'm assuming that he just wrote the book and no one wanted it, and that's what he told his family. Or that someone read it and they were like, Doug. Are you fucking kidding me?

Doug, Doug. I'm serious. You should go back to Mexico, my man. Like, you need to get the fuck away from you. So they're living in Long Beach, and at some point he gets a job in radio, and Lee stumbled across the book in 1994. He died in 1960, in 1966 at 44 of a heart attack.

So he dies young. So she finds the book in 1994. I mean, clean out your drawers once in a while. Like what are you doing? Yeah, honestly. I mean, there's supposedly like, there's supposedly a big cash bonus in one of them. 30 years, look at the drawers.

Honestly, what did A&E come over to do a hoarders? Doug wrote that being on the stage during This Is Your Life made him feel physically ill. Lee wrote a forward in his book, quote, he literally reimagined a total story sufficiently important to warrant the extent of his injuries. His ego latched onto the attention this story brought him. There is. You are the you are the only time this happened, sir. You are you are a liar.

You are a liar. Well, am I? They can't say that you're a liar. So everyone around you has to lie enable and rebuild your lies. Counterpoint. No. I sleepy made it. No.

What? It's a technical, psychological term. You sleepy make. So when you're laying in a bed and you listen to radios, you absorb it and it's called sleepy making. And then you think the story is a liar. The story is real. You lie. So I sleepy made it.

You lie. Well. I have two brains. From the book, quote, without a past to recall, a future to plan and build for, I fled each night to that world of fantasy where time and space did not exist. I roamed the battlefields of the world,

conquering the enemy and restoring peace to a war-torn earth. Thus, psychologists do not think it so strange that I awoke one morning consciously remembering my dramatic but imaginary part in a war that was all too real. I mean, could you say any clearer that you have the mind of a toddler?

But look, if that, okay, let's just take and say that's true. Then why did the story keep getting crazier and changing? Yeah, completely. Doesn't work. Exactly. This lie just is complete. If you woke up and realized that your life, that you remembered an event and it was a lie,

okay, let's give you a pass. You kept fucking riffing on your lie because it kept making your spotlight bigger. Yeah, yes. Lee said on the book quote. We really do just start, we need to castrate the relatives. Like the younger generations of these people,

we just need to start taking ball bags off of them. It's going to stop the genetics and also it sends a message that like look if your grandpa was a Pathological liar and you try to reinvent that to redeem him in some way you will lose your genitals This is Lee on the book quote I think he definitely believed he had those experiences But I really don't know how to account for it right because you Because you know, because you sat there and watched him increase the lie. He's a fucking liar. Yeah. So his three grandkids tried to start a GoFundMe.

It made no fucking money. They were like, we're going to get his real story out there. So we call the GoFundMe. This that was in 2013 that they that the end. But then let's go fund me to take the genitals of these three grandkids who tried to do that. It's weird. I mean, that's a genital taking.

At the time, the Salt Lake Tribune wrote up an article mostly backing this new narrative. They raised almost nothing, so it's all fine. So yeah, like I said, he died in 1966 at 44 years old of a heart attack. Oh my God. Sources, history to go dot utah.gov, Washington post, uh, uh, some YouTube, uh, stuff, uh, desert dot com, the Ogden standard examiner, the salt Lake Tribune, the Lindsay gazette,

the Salt Lake telegram, uh, theet News, Associated Press, the Evening Star, Time Magazine, and yeah, that's it, and Salt Lake Tribune, I said that right, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, good stuff, man, good stuff. I mean, at some point, look, I don't expect it to happen, okay? And I'm not going to make this a long one, okay? Let's just get it over with. But at some point, at some point, we need to start finding a consistent moral compass and punishing those who cross it.

Otherwise, we are going to continue to just allow lies veiled in our team's jersey to fester, complete complete and continue. And until then it's just, it's, we don't deserve things. This is just crazy. Do we love the army? Do we support the veterans? Then these grandkids need their genitals taken. We don't. OK, then let's stop fucking saying we do. We are him, the country. We are we are Doug and the nation. Holy shit. We are. We are just a thousand, a thousand piles of bullshit

in one flag walking around pretending to be the greatest. shit in one flag walking around pretending to be the greatest. Apparently I've heard this one before. All right. Hey, hey, dollop fans, I know you love the dollop. You love listening to the dollop. Do you want to watch the dollop? You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth.

Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So, if you want to go watch a five-partner animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, I can't remember, of the Rube. You can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube. It really genuinely kicks ass and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff,

the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one, so go there and watch the Rube.